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1
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2
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3
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Hi. I'm glad you called.
4
00:00:06,860 --> 00:00:08,560
I've been thinking about you a lot.
5
00:00:08,580 --> 00:00:10,720
I-I've been thinking
about you a lot, too.
6
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,180
Wow! New Guy has feelings for someone.
7
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NEW GUY: Louise, look.
8
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,700
I really like you, and I don't
want to disappoint you.
9
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:22,159
- You scared?
- Always.
10
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,400
I'm getting the hell out of here.
11
00:00:23,420 --> 00:00:26,570
No, no, no, you don't get to
fucking get off that easy.
12
00:00:26,612 --> 00:00:29,857
You just blow in and out
of my life like a tornado.
13
00:00:29,891 --> 00:00:32,119
I didn't want us to
end things like that.
14
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,724
[SIGHS] We're not... we're
not ending anything, okay?
15
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:35,999
We're just...
16
00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,003
I think we do better when we're apart.
17
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,763
Give your old man a hug.
18
00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,630
Travel safe.
19
00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:51,360
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
20
00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:53,180
_
21
00:00:53,191 --> 00:00:54,675
- [CELLPHONE BEEPS]
- No.
22
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:58,840
Hey!
23
00:00:58,860 --> 00:01:00,780
Uh, hey, are you with the, uh...
24
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:02,899
With the... the group over there?
25
00:01:02,900 --> 00:01:03,940
Yeah.
26
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,650
You're the boss?
27
00:01:06,721 --> 00:01:07,929
I'm the boss.
28
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,660
Those are my top executives.
29
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:12,370
How can we help you here at
Drunk Asshole Industries?
30
00:01:12,550 --> 00:01:14,280
- Uh...
- [CHUCKLES]
31
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:16,020
Um, well, uh, my name is Trev,
32
00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,600
- and this is my wife, Sienna.
- Hi.
33
00:01:17,620 --> 00:01:19,838
And we... we just bought
the Greene and Greene
34
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:20,908
down the street.
35
00:01:20,942 --> 00:01:23,048
Oh! That's you guys.
36
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,520
Wow. You must be doing all
right for yourselves.
37
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,580
Thanks. Well, yeah, we do social media
38
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,019
for some pretty big companies.
39
00:01:29,054 --> 00:01:31,091
Uh, a-anyway...
40
00:01:31,125 --> 00:01:34,473
Um, so, we've been noticing
you guys having your...
41
00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:36,659
your gatherings over here,
42
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:37,779
- and, uh...
- Yep.
43
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:39,480
And... and, you know, we're...
we're totally supportive...
44
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:40,560
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- ... of that.
45
00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:42,412
- Aww!
- It's just that, you know...
46
00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:43,965
afterwards, you... you...
47
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:47,555
you just kind of hang
around and... and smoke
48
00:01:47,590 --> 00:01:49,999
and... and talk loud.
49
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,664
Yeah, all that. We call it fellowship.
50
00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:54,820
It's like the meeting after the meeting.
51
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,219
Right, but do you have to
keep it going out front
52
00:01:57,220 --> 00:01:58,839
and throw your cigarette
butts in the street?
53
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,740
I mean, isn't there somewhere
else you could go?
54
00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:02,881
You mean like a bar?
55
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:04,400
Um...
56
00:02:04,434 --> 00:02:08,024
No. We... we go here,
and then we go home.
57
00:02:08,050 --> 00:02:09,060
[CHUCKLES] Well, you...
58
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:12,240
you don't really "go home," you know?
59
00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:14,780
You... you just kind of hang around.
60
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,060
And technically, that's, you know...
61
00:02:20,036 --> 00:02:21,360
loitering.
62
00:02:22,349 --> 00:02:23,695
Okay.
63
00:02:23,729 --> 00:02:26,491
Listen, we were drunken scumbags
64
00:02:26,525 --> 00:02:27,802
way before the two of you
65
00:02:27,837 --> 00:02:30,070
decided to move into your
Greene and Greene house.
66
00:02:30,090 --> 00:02:32,290
Okay, okay. But our Greene and Greene
67
00:02:32,324 --> 00:02:35,330
was built way before you guys got here.
68
00:02:35,350 --> 00:02:37,520
It's not my fault you
didn't do your homework
69
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,987
before descending on the
neighborhood like jackals.
70
00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:41,239
What's your deal, man?
71
00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,060
My deal is that I know your deal. Okay?
72
00:02:44,094 --> 00:02:46,200
You want to pretend like
you're these enlightened,
73
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,580
progressive, open-minded
people, but you're not.
74
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,100
You're just trying to look the part.
75
00:02:50,130 --> 00:02:51,240
Like your dog.
76
00:02:51,260 --> 00:02:53,173
I'm sure you tell people
that's a rescue, yeah?
77
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:54,484
Lavendar is a rescue.
78
00:02:54,519 --> 00:02:56,139
[LAUGHS]
79
00:02:56,140 --> 00:02:58,360
What castle did you rescue that d...
80
00:02:58,380 --> 00:03:00,820
Listen, I know shelter dogs, okay?
81
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:03,730
$3,000 whippets are not shelter dogs.
82
00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:05,702
You want a purebred, get a purebred.
83
00:03:05,730 --> 00:03:07,440
You can't have it both ways, though.
84
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:10,020
Oh, and the "Greene and Greene" house
85
00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,390
that you bought to look like people
86
00:03:11,432 --> 00:03:13,980
who preserve
historically-significant buildings?
87
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,399
That's a sham.
88
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,163
They built a lot of copies
of Greene and Greene houses
89
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,337
in the Pacific Northwest,
90
00:03:19,371 --> 00:03:21,822
but the Greene brothers had
nothing to do with them.
91
00:03:21,856 --> 00:03:22,926
No, not true.
92
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,380
Ours came from Pasadena in the '40s.
93
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:25,584
We have the paperwork.
94
00:03:25,619 --> 00:03:28,346
Okay, well, Jason Bonham's
Led Zeppelin Experience
95
00:03:28,350 --> 00:03:29,692
has the paperwork.
96
00:03:29,726 --> 00:03:31,625
Doesn't make them Led Zeppelin.
97
00:03:31,659 --> 00:03:32,799
You got screwed.
98
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,004
But, yeah, I'll... I'll tell the drunks
99
00:03:35,005 --> 00:03:36,430
to keep it down a little bit.
100
00:03:37,180 --> 00:03:40,160
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S STAND
ON THE HORIZON PLAYS]
101
00:03:40,180 --> 00:03:44,200
102
00:03:48,435 --> 00:03:50,359
Yeah, so, I-I'm almost
afraid to jinx it,
103
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:53,040
but things have been going
so great with Louise.
104
00:03:53,070 --> 00:03:54,579
The only thing is, her ex-boyfriend
105
00:03:54,613 --> 00:03:56,063
has started calling me again.
106
00:03:56,097 --> 00:03:58,168
He's calling you? What does he want?
107
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,300
I-I don't know.
108
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:02,242
I-I... hopefully just to talk?
109
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:03,739
Should I... Should I meet with him?
110
00:04:03,740 --> 00:04:06,038
No, of course not. Who talks
to the old boyfriend?
111
00:04:06,073 --> 00:04:07,971
- That's not a thing.
- Okay.
112
00:04:07,980 --> 00:04:10,130
Okay, good. 'Cause I
haven't been answering.
113
00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:13,183
Okay, um...
114
00:04:13,218 --> 00:04:14,461
That's it for sharing.
115
00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:16,800
Do we have any group announcements?
116
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:19,220
Any non-group announcements?
117
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,690
I'm pretty sure I saw a bird
chewing gum the other day.
118
00:04:24,470 --> 00:04:26,220
Anything at all?
119
00:04:27,405 --> 00:04:30,477
Uh, I'm going out of
town for a few days.
120
00:04:30,510 --> 00:04:32,760
Uh, anyways, though, um...
121
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:35,270
I'm looking for someone
to dog-sit for me.
122
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:37,138
You see, he's got to
sleep in his own bed.
123
00:04:37,173 --> 00:04:39,037
So I was wondering if maybe someone here
124
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:40,680
would be willing to stay over at...
125
00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:43,399
- I'll do it.
- Oh, great.
126
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,110
- Really?
- Yeah.
127
00:04:45,146 --> 00:04:46,380
I mean, you know, it would help me out
128
00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,500
since she stole my room.
129
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,140
Plus, you know, I've always
wanted to sleep on a boat.
130
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,670
I don't live on a boat.
131
00:04:53,690 --> 00:04:55,240
Really?
132
00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,080
I'm sorry. I just...
I assumed, you know,
133
00:04:58,100 --> 00:05:01,120
since you got the whole "fish
stick guy" thing going on.
134
00:05:01,140 --> 00:05:04,131
But you don't sleep on...
Okay, I'll... I'll do it anyway.
135
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:05,240
Mm, thank you.
136
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,480
Okay, that looks like
that's it for tonight.
137
00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:10,140
I guess me and the gum-chewing bird'll
138
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,690
just go fuck ourselves, then.
139
00:05:11,700 --> 00:05:13,347
You open to something like that?
140
00:05:13,382 --> 00:05:14,417
Uh...
141
00:05:14,969 --> 00:05:17,075
[ENGINE REVS]
142
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:20,320
143
00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,322
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
144
00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,860
Which one of you cock bites is Hiram?
145
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:35,810
- [LAUGHS]
- Don't be a pussy.
146
00:05:35,852 --> 00:05:36,880
Fuck.
147
00:05:38,940 --> 00:05:40,540
You gotta be shittin' me.
148
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,039
- You're Hiram?
- Oh, hey.
149
00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:45,160
Uh, I'm assuming you must
be David, Louise's ex.
150
00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:47,020
It's... it's... it's nice to meet you.
151
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,300
Don't give me that shit, stretch.
152
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:51,160
You fucked up when you
decided to mow my lawn.
153
00:05:51,180 --> 00:05:52,731
I thought she was your ex-lawn.
154
00:05:52,766 --> 00:05:55,454
A-And, you know, I-I haven't even
been near the bushes yet, so...
155
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:56,640
What are you... a smartass?
156
00:05:56,650 --> 00:05:58,300
Come on, motherfucker. Let's get it on!
157
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:00,540
No, no! Come on. Fighting
never solved anything.
158
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,327
- Eh, just bad things happen.
- I promise you,
159
00:06:02,330 --> 00:06:04,410
I am gonna beat your little dick off!
160
00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,401
Beat your dick off? [LAUGHS]
161
00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:09,740
You're damn right, hotshot.
162
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:11,681
You lookin' to get your
dick beat off, too?
163
00:06:11,716 --> 00:06:12,993
It's funny you should ask.
164
00:06:13,027 --> 00:06:15,409
Why are you gettin' up
in my Kool-Aid, Goliath?
165
00:06:15,444 --> 00:06:17,342
Kool-Aid? Look, pal, if I was you,
166
00:06:17,370 --> 00:06:18,840
I'd get back on my little scooter
167
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:20,640
and go back to my house on the Shire.
168
00:06:20,660 --> 00:06:23,840
Okay, look, I came here to kick his ass.
169
00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,313
And since he's too much
of a poontang to fight,
170
00:06:26,314 --> 00:06:28,100
it looks like it's gonna be you, Manute.
171
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,079
Dude, I'm not fighting you.
I don't need a murder rap.
172
00:06:30,110 --> 00:06:31,200
You think you'd have a murder rap?
173
00:06:31,220 --> 00:06:33,220
No, no, I'd have the murder rap!
174
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:34,920
I like what you did there, how
you turned it around on me.
175
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,599
Yeah, real good. Yeah.
176
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:37,679
[SCREAMING]
177
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,019
DAVID: You like how I
turned that around?
178
00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:40,029
What the hell's going on?
179
00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:41,990
I told you guys to keep it down.
180
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,404
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
- Oh, shit.
181
00:06:44,438 --> 00:06:46,129
- Stop this immediately!
- Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
182
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,240
Oy!
183
00:06:47,250 --> 00:06:50,582
- You can't just punch someone in the balls!
- I am not gonna have fistfights
184
00:06:50,617 --> 00:06:52,273
in the middle of my church driveway.
185
00:06:53,420 --> 00:06:54,960
If you want to fight,
186
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,300
I expect you to behave
like civilized men.
187
00:06:57,340 --> 00:06:59,300
You can use our gymnasium.
188
00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:00,903
What?
189
00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:02,440
You're a man of God.
190
00:07:02,460 --> 00:07:05,100
You're gonna let these idiots
fistfight in the church?
191
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:09,532
Samuel 2:14. "Then Abner said to Joab,
192
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:11,741
'Now let the young men arise
193
00:07:11,776 --> 00:07:13,650
and hold their bout before us.'"
194
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,820
Oh, well, if it says that in the Bible,
195
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,320
then, hey, by all means...
196
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:18,400
Let's do this.
197
00:07:18,410 --> 00:07:20,040
- I'm ready, Father.
- Not now.
198
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:22,399
There's a CYO basketball
game going on right now.
199
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,000
We'll set the ring up
this Saturday night.
200
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:27,990
The two of you can have
a proper bout. Mm?
201
00:07:28,965 --> 00:07:30,277
You have a ring?
202
00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:31,400
You're way too into this.
203
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,740
- You know that?
- I'll be there.
204
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,670
And you make sure
you're there, one dick.
205
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,380
"One dick"?
206
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,760
What the hell does that even mean?
207
00:07:40,321 --> 00:07:42,807
208
00:07:42,841 --> 00:07:45,672
This is it. Nothing fancy.
209
00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:47,259
Could probably use a woman's touch.
210
00:07:47,294 --> 00:07:48,951
[CHUCKLES]
211
00:07:48,985 --> 00:07:50,642
Are you kidding me?
212
00:07:52,430 --> 00:07:53,940
This place is unbelievable.
213
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:55,680
I got to be honest...
214
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:57,770
I-I-I thought it was gonna
be a total shithole.
215
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,380
[LAUGHS] The thing is, you see, uh,
216
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,780
I used to own a fleet of
about a dozen fishing boats.
217
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:03,960
Oh, okay. Good money?
218
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:06,240
Oh, no, I lost my shirt every season.
219
00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:08,680
But, eventually, I sold 'em and, uh,
220
00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:10,920
made enough to buy myself a 7-Eleven.
221
00:08:10,940 --> 00:08:12,870
- Ah, then you made a killing.
- No.
222
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,459
Fuck, those things are money pits.
223
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:18,739
But I started playing them
scratch-off lottery tickets.
224
00:08:18,770 --> 00:08:19,940
I won.
225
00:08:19,980 --> 00:08:21,300
Get out of here. Come on.
226
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:22,670
See, most people don't know this,
227
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,920
but there's a certain way you
can hold them up to the light
228
00:08:24,940 --> 00:08:26,640
that tells you which one's a winner.
229
00:08:26,650 --> 00:08:28,180
Really? Now, what do you...
what do you got to do?
230
00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,899
- You got to turn it or...
- No, no. It's nothing like that.
231
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:32,477
The whole secret to the thing...
232
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,280
[GRIMES WHIMPERS, WHINES]
233
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:39,800
Grimes, not right now.
234
00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:42,211
[GRIMES WHINES]
235
00:08:42,245 --> 00:08:44,385
- Well... well, there's not much to him.
- Mm-hmm.
236
00:08:44,420 --> 00:08:45,697
Feed him, walk him twice a day,
237
00:08:45,732 --> 00:08:46,972
and don't let him lick his ass.
238
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,039
[LAUGHS] That was a joke, that,
239
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,808
'cause you'll never stop
him from licking his ass.
240
00:08:52,842 --> 00:08:54,154
[LAUGHS]
241
00:08:54,188 --> 00:08:56,536
242
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:00,190
Hey, look at this.
243
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,380
These people in the neighborhood group
244
00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:02,887
are going off about our meeting.
245
00:09:04,371 --> 00:09:05,924
LOUDERMILK: Hmm?
246
00:09:05,950 --> 00:09:07,819
Oh, you think you'd have a murder rap?
247
00:09:07,820 --> 00:09:10,019
- No, I'd have the murder rap!
- Nice.
248
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,758
I like what you did there, how
you turned it around on me.
249
00:09:11,792 --> 00:09:12,862
Yeah, real good.
250
00:09:12,897 --> 00:09:14,243
Aah! Aah!
251
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,770
You like how I turned that around?
252
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:18,488
Those are the morons who bought
the house down the street.
253
00:09:18,523 --> 00:09:19,697
I guess.
254
00:09:19,731 --> 00:09:21,388
Read what they wrote.
255
00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:23,590
"Just moved into our Greene and Greene,
256
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,020
and now we have front-row seats
257
00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:29,016
to bum fights. FML. Pound,
clean up the riffraff."
258
00:09:29,051 --> 00:09:30,846
- Hashtag.
- These fucking idiots.
259
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,680
They think they bought
a Greene and Greene.
260
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:33,820
They're fucking delusional.
261
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,260
They've already got 112 responses.
262
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:37,639
And almost no one's on our side.
263
00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,760
They're all complaining about us.
264
00:09:38,780 --> 00:09:40,510
Do you know these people?
265
00:09:40,545 --> 00:09:41,788
Yeah, we had a little talk
266
00:09:41,822 --> 00:09:43,444
before the meeting the other night.
267
00:09:43,479 --> 00:09:45,205
Oh, I get it.
268
00:09:45,230 --> 00:09:46,520
You pissed them off.
269
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:48,320
No, I pointed out they
were being idiots.
270
00:09:48,340 --> 00:09:50,451
And I guess they didn't like to hear it,
271
00:09:50,486 --> 00:09:53,662
so they started an Internet fight.
272
00:09:53,696 --> 00:09:54,939
Wow.
273
00:09:54,973 --> 00:09:56,561
They are really laying into you.
274
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,942
I mean, this shit's getting good.
275
00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,120
You know, luckily for you,
276
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:02,463
you live with one of the
best Internet trolls around.
277
00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:04,000
- I got this.
- No, no, no.
278
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,606
Don't do anything. Just ignore it.
279
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:10,023
If you don't engage with
this shit, it doesn't exist.
280
00:10:10,057 --> 00:10:12,266
[SIGHS] I guess.
281
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,510
I'll see you in a bit.
282
00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:16,719
[DOOR CLOSES]
283
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:22,580
"Suck my big, fat donkey balls,
284
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:27,820
"you pieces of shit. Hashtag BlowMe."
285
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,420
[COMPUTER CHIMES]
286
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,147
That'll teach them.
287
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:32,780
There you go. Hey!
288
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,773
You like peanut butter,
huh, Grimes? Yeah?
289
00:10:35,807 --> 00:10:37,395
Yeah, they should have
called you Peanut Butter.
290
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,017
That'd be a good name for you.
291
00:10:39,052 --> 00:10:41,157
What do you want to do?
You wanna go for a walk?
292
00:10:41,192 --> 00:10:43,194
You want to walk this off?
293
00:10:43,228 --> 00:10:45,852
All right. Hey, where's your leash?
294
00:10:45,886 --> 00:10:48,440
Come on! Let's go. Where's your leash?
295
00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:10,773
Aah!
296
00:11:12,780 --> 00:11:14,700
Sorry, Grimes.
297
00:11:16,848 --> 00:11:18,919
[CHUCKLES]
298
00:11:18,950 --> 00:11:20,600
And how does that work?
299
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,860
What the fuck is this?
300
00:11:22,920 --> 00:11:25,060
Oh, check this out. This is even bigger.
301
00:11:25,070 --> 00:11:26,640
You got to be shittin' me!
302
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:28,370
They're all over the fucking place.
303
00:11:28,410 --> 00:11:30,280
This fight is going down, Tony.
304
00:11:30,340 --> 00:11:31,940
What am I gonna do now, Mugsy?
305
00:11:31,980 --> 00:11:33,660
I don't know. I don't blame
you for being afraid.
306
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,680
This guy's a tough son of a bitch, man.
307
00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:37,766
- He packs a hell of a nut-punch.
- What are you... nuts?
308
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,077
I'm not afraid. He's a little person.
309
00:11:39,110 --> 00:11:40,320
I'm not. I can't fight him.
310
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,631
Everyone will think I'm a bully.
311
00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:42,940
Well, not if you lose.
312
00:11:43,140 --> 00:11:45,250
You just take a dive, like Sonny Liston.
313
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,460
Then everyone will think I'm pathetic.
314
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,300
Don't you see? This is a classic
lose-lose situation here.
315
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,300
I've seen these before.
316
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:54,180
You know, never in person. Only online.
317
00:11:54,210 --> 00:11:56,888
You know, not that I
was shopping for one.
318
00:11:56,923 --> 00:11:59,199
I just happened to be cruising
a couple two-three websites.
319
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,280
You understand how it is.
320
00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:02,639
But I do remember thinking,
"That's a lot of money
321
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,310
"to pay for a fuck doll."
322
00:12:04,330 --> 00:12:06,656
But, still, you know,
it's a testament to, uh,
323
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:09,340
I guess, ingenuity and technology
324
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,780
and, um, the male itch.
325
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,870
It's pathetic, though,
to think that somebody
326
00:12:13,905 --> 00:12:15,424
would just want to separate themselves
327
00:12:15,458 --> 00:12:17,426
from actual human beings to the degree
328
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:19,152
that they would seek sexual congress
329
00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:22,500
with an effigy of a...
330
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,540
real girl.
331
00:12:25,572 --> 00:12:28,920
How low would you have to
sink to reach those depths?
332
00:12:28,955 --> 00:12:30,991
[GRUNTS] Hah!
333
00:12:31,026 --> 00:12:32,959
God! God!
334
00:12:32,993 --> 00:12:34,201
[GASPING]
335
00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:36,400
Holy shit!
336
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:38,540
That was the best sex of my entire life.
337
00:12:39,448 --> 00:12:41,553
What the heck's going
on down there? [LAUGHS]
338
00:12:41,588 --> 00:12:44,073
[GRIMES BARKS]
339
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:46,660
- Hey, don't judge me, Grimes.
- [GRIMES WHIMPERS]
340
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,182
Okay, look, I'm a...
I'm a curious person.
341
00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:50,286
A seeker.
342
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,738
Look, it was just a one-time thing.
343
00:12:54,740 --> 00:12:56,940
[GRUNTING]
344
00:12:56,983 --> 00:12:58,778
Oh!
345
00:12:58,812 --> 00:13:00,055
Ohh!
346
00:13:00,089 --> 00:13:02,229
[PANTING]
347
00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:10,479
Ahh.
348
00:13:10,513 --> 00:13:12,067
349
00:13:12,070 --> 00:13:14,400
LOUDERMILK: You look
weird. What'd you do?
350
00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:15,800
Nothing.
351
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,260
- You have a slip?
- No! No.
352
00:13:20,351 --> 00:13:21,766
[SIGHS]
353
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,424
It's the neighborhood group forum.
354
00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:25,989
I was just gonna write
a couple of comments,
355
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:27,220
you know, defend the group.
356
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,739
Maybe throw in a couple
"go fuck yourself" memes.
357
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:32,249
And things got out of control.
358
00:13:32,250 --> 00:13:34,120
These people are really good.
359
00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:36,180
I mean, they're like assassins.
360
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,040
They kicked my ass up and
down the whole forum.
361
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:39,090
I couldn't get a shot in.
362
00:13:39,100 --> 00:13:41,264
Well, all right, so, you
got your ass handed to you
363
00:13:41,265 --> 00:13:42,780
in an Internet forum. Who cares?
364
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:45,031
Well, not my ass.
365
00:13:45,065 --> 00:13:46,160
Your ass.
366
00:13:46,929 --> 00:13:49,999
See, I kinda escalated the whole thing,
367
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,487
and then they started this
online petition to, uh,
368
00:13:53,490 --> 00:13:55,109
kick our meetings out of the church.
369
00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:57,491
What? They can't do that!
370
00:13:57,526 --> 00:13:59,321
Well, they've already got
a ton of signatures.
371
00:13:59,350 --> 00:14:02,020
[CELLPHONE RINGS]
372
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,290
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
373
00:14:03,739 --> 00:14:04,844
Yeah?
374
00:14:07,225 --> 00:14:08,675
All right, all right. Oh, hey, hey.
375
00:14:08,709 --> 00:14:10,159
Calm down.
376
00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:12,080
I'll be... I'll be right there.
377
00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:13,887
Text me the address.
378
00:14:13,922 --> 00:14:15,233
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
379
00:14:15,268 --> 00:14:17,477
Something's going on
with Ben. I gotta go.
380
00:14:18,512 --> 00:14:20,066
[SIGHS]
381
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,068
No more cyber fights!
382
00:14:22,100 --> 00:14:25,240
383
00:14:25,260 --> 00:14:27,120
You can't be serious.
384
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:30,870
You fucked it?
385
00:14:32,050 --> 00:14:33,182
Uh-huh.
386
00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:36,841
- A lot.
- Aw.
387
00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:39,800
You had sloppy seconds
with Ed's fuck doll?
388
00:14:39,820 --> 00:14:41,970
No, I'm not stupid.
389
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:43,744
I used condoms.
390
00:14:45,263 --> 00:14:48,049
Sam, I can't quit her, okay?
391
00:14:48,050 --> 00:14:49,302
She's amazing, you know?
392
00:14:49,336 --> 00:14:51,329
No, I don't know.
393
00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:54,169
She's like a butthole inside
of a mouth inside a vagina.
394
00:14:54,203 --> 00:14:56,274
It's like the turducken of vaginas.
395
00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,100
[SIGHS]
396
00:15:00,120 --> 00:15:02,522
- I'm in trouble here, man.
- With who?
397
00:15:02,556 --> 00:15:04,869
Just don't tell Ed that
you fucked his mannequin,
398
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,215
and you'll... you'll be fine.
399
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:07,389
Nope, mnh-mnh.
400
00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:08,597
You got to get me out of here.
401
00:15:08,631 --> 00:15:09,769
All right, so just get out of here.
402
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:11,500
Why do you drag me into it?
403
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,560
Well, someone's got to
take care of the dog.
404
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,569
Oh, so, what?
405
00:15:15,604 --> 00:15:17,130
You want me to stay here?
406
00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:19,149
No, I'm not staying here!
407
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:20,880
Come on, I'm begging you! Please!
408
00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:23,267
Oh, for fuck's sake.
409
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:26,020
Yeah, so, what do you want?
410
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,370
Hey, thanks for meeting me, pal.
411
00:15:27,380 --> 00:15:28,390
Tony, by the way.
412
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:32,720
- David.
- This whole thing...
413
00:15:32,750 --> 00:15:34,220
You know, listen, I
got no beef with you.
414
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,693
I was just sticking up for my buddy.
415
00:15:35,727 --> 00:15:37,860
He's a little pussy, and I knew
you'd knock the fuck out of him.
416
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,973
Yeah, I guess I was
running a little hot.
417
00:15:40,008 --> 00:15:41,319
I get it.
418
00:15:41,350 --> 00:15:42,920
But this whole fight thing is crazy.
419
00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:45,660
- We gotta call it off.
- Yeah, maybe we should.
420
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,256
I mean, you know, given
different circumstances,
421
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:48,490
you and I might be best buddies.
422
00:15:48,500 --> 00:15:51,320
I don't know about best,
but we could hang.
423
00:15:51,340 --> 00:15:53,124
There you go. Hold on.
424
00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,460
Two, please.
425
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,220
Here you go, pal.
426
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,860
- What's this?
- What's it look like?
427
00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:03,940
It's an ice-cream cone.
428
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,470
Think of it as an olive branch.
429
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,410
You trying to get out
of a fight or adopt me?
430
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:10,220
I don't want a fucking ice-cream cone.
431
00:16:10,240 --> 00:16:11,800
What, do you want to see
me go down the slide?
432
00:16:11,820 --> 00:16:13,280
- No.
- Huh? Huh? Just 'cause I'm small,
433
00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,560
you want to treat me like a little kid?
434
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,941
No, I don't buy ice-cream
cones for little kids.
435
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,011
That... that'd be creepy.
436
00:16:18,046 --> 00:16:21,320
Yeah, it is creepy, you
arrogant piece of fuck!
437
00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,780
Hey, you don't have to act
like a little prick about it.
438
00:16:25,180 --> 00:16:27,400
- [BLOW LANDS]
- Aah! Fuck.
439
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,360
Fight's still on, numbnuts!
440
00:16:30,380 --> 00:16:32,160
I'll be there, you little fucking dink!
441
00:16:32,180 --> 00:16:34,540
- I'll be waiting, honey!
- [GROANS]
442
00:16:34,580 --> 00:16:38,920
443
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,240
You're actually promoting this thing?
444
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:45,314
What are you... The Catholic Don King?
445
00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:47,860
Nothing wrong with a little pugilism
446
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,870
to raise some money for the church.
447
00:16:49,900 --> 00:16:52,420
We've been doing this for years.
448
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:56,325
Anyway, you have got bigger
problems than a couple of boys
449
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,020
working out their
differences in the ring.
450
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,780
I just got an e-mail from city hall.
451
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,500
Seems some of the neighbors
452
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,161
have got an online petition going,
453
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,910
and they want you gone.
454
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,130
I warned you, Loudermilk.
455
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:10,280
I'm gonna have to suspend your meetings
456
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:11,830
if you can't get this straightened out.
457
00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:13,220
You gotta be kidding me.
458
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,400
My meetings have to go, and
this blood sport stays?
459
00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:18,658
Fix it, Loudermilk.
460
00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:23,020
461
00:17:23,350 --> 00:17:27,000
462
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:33,020
Of course.
463
00:17:34,432 --> 00:17:36,158
[DOORBELL RINGS]
464
00:17:36,193 --> 00:17:38,712
465
00:17:38,747 --> 00:17:40,093
[DOOR OPENS]
466
00:17:40,128 --> 00:17:42,199
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
467
00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:43,999
You can't just come over to our house.
468
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,020
Well, I actually can.
469
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:47,280
You have a walkway coming
right up here and everything.
470
00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:49,660
I know it must seem really crazy to you
471
00:17:49,670 --> 00:17:53,020
to be talking face-to-face
to a human being,
472
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,314
but it's actually kind of the way
473
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,620
you're supposed to do these things.
474
00:17:55,650 --> 00:17:57,628
- We tried to talk to you.
- Right,
475
00:17:57,630 --> 00:17:59,920
and I said a couple of
things that you didn't like.
476
00:17:59,940 --> 00:18:03,140
So then you ran to your
keyboard echo chamber,
477
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:05,050
and you dialed up an online mob.
478
00:18:05,070 --> 00:18:07,129
And you need to leave.
479
00:18:07,130 --> 00:18:08,260
I will. I will.
480
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,606
But I'm gonna say something
first face-to-face.
481
00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:14,127
Those people in that church...
482
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:17,599
Those are very real people
with very real problems.
483
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,380
And that meeting is the only
thing that they have left
484
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,820
that gets them through the day, okay?
485
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,580
So shutting that down
486
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:28,107
to nudge up your property values...
487
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:30,523
I hope that's worth it to you.
488
00:18:35,079 --> 00:18:37,081
489
00:18:40,670 --> 00:18:41,820
You believe this?
490
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,468
Yeah, some turnout.
491
00:18:44,502 --> 00:18:46,090
I can't believe I got to do this.
492
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,092
[MUFFLED] Relax, man.
You're gonna be fine.
493
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,818
I'm not gonna be fine. I'm not a boxer!
494
00:18:49,852 --> 00:18:51,406
What if I kill this guy?
495
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,648
Or, worse, what if I lose?
496
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,180
Calm down, man! What's
the matter with you?
497
00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,900
- Why are you sweating already?
- I'm not sweating.
498
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,758
That's butter from your
fucking popcorn, you idiot.
499
00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:00,415
- Get off of me.
- Mm-mmm.
500
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,690
[LAUGHING] Ohh, man! Y'all
see the crowd out there?
501
00:19:03,728 --> 00:19:05,282
- This place is hype!
- Crowd?
502
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,980
- Yeah.
- I don't need a crowd.
503
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:10,160
I've seen little people wrestle before,
504
00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:12,081
but I've never seen two
little people box.
505
00:19:12,082 --> 00:19:13,880
This is gonna be epic.
506
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,840
Did you hear that? They
think I'm a little person.
507
00:19:15,860 --> 00:19:18,000
Yeah, no wonder. Look at the poster.
508
00:19:18,010 --> 00:19:19,379
Hey, listen.
509
00:19:19,380 --> 00:19:22,620
I'm not a microbiologist, but...
510
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,990
what if we get you down to his size?
511
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:27,096
How? You gonna cut my fucking legs off?
512
00:19:27,131 --> 00:19:28,443
I got an idea.
513
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,619
514
00:19:32,654 --> 00:19:34,380
How you holding up, champ?
515
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:36,036
Truth? Not good.
516
00:19:36,071 --> 00:19:37,279
I don't want to fight this guy.
517
00:19:37,314 --> 00:19:38,521
I just want my girl back.
518
00:19:38,522 --> 00:19:40,317
What the fuck did I get myself into?
519
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:41,420
Why don't you want to fight this guy?
520
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,620
- He's huge!
- You're huge!
521
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,010
Not as huge as he is!
522
00:19:45,045 --> 00:19:46,700
Then you should have taken
the fucking ice-cream cone.
523
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,460
I know I should have taken
the fucking ice-cream cone!
524
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:49,680
Stop telling me I should have taken
525
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:52,121
- the fucking ice-cream cone!
- Okay, relax, relax.
526
00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:53,433
When the crowd sees how big he is,
527
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:54,620
they're gonna be on your side.
528
00:19:54,650 --> 00:19:57,329
And when the crowd is on your side...
529
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,349
I always win!
530
00:19:58,350 --> 00:19:59,543
That's it! Come on! That's it!
531
00:19:59,570 --> 00:20:00,819
- That's it! That's it!
- Come on, baby.
532
00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:07,140
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!
533
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,720
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
534
00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:14,320
Welcome to Immaculate Heart gymnasium.
535
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:17,000
It's Boxing Night!
536
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:21,140
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
537
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,700
Tonight's event is a grudge match
538
00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:30,560
to settle a love triangle
gone horribly wrong!
539
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:33,600
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
540
00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:39,859
In the red corner, I give you David!
541
00:20:39,893 --> 00:20:42,102
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
542
00:20:42,130 --> 00:20:45,120
And in the blue corner,
543
00:20:45,140 --> 00:20:49,282
it's Tony!
544
00:20:49,317 --> 00:20:51,629
[CROWD BOOING]
545
00:20:54,590 --> 00:20:56,620
What the fuck is he doing?
546
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:58,940
- Come on!
- What the fuck is this?
547
00:20:58,950 --> 00:20:59,980
What's he trying to pull?
548
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,050
[DINGING]
549
00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:10,570
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
550
00:21:16,344 --> 00:21:18,104
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
551
00:21:22,340 --> 00:21:23,969
C'mon, David!
552
00:21:23,970 --> 00:21:25,620
Work his torso!
553
00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:27,260
This guy is, like, all torso, right?
554
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,820
- So weird.
- Wait a second.
555
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,030
- You're rooting for David?
- Why wouldn't I?
556
00:21:31,048 --> 00:21:32,550
I don't even know the other guy.
557
00:21:32,570 --> 00:21:34,859
Yeah, but the other guy is me by proxy.
558
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:37,000
Well, if you were in there,
I'd be rooting for you.
559
00:21:37,020 --> 00:21:39,540
But you're too much of a...
560
00:21:39,570 --> 00:21:41,040
What? Jew?
561
00:21:41,060 --> 00:21:42,520
No.
562
00:21:42,540 --> 00:21:44,019
A coward.
563
00:21:44,020 --> 00:21:46,139
Wait a second. You think I'm a coward
564
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:48,000
just because I don't want
to get into a boxing ring
565
00:21:48,020 --> 00:21:50,585
and fight in some
barbaric, vicious sport
566
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,500
that should've been
outlawed decades ago?
567
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,140
That makes me a coward?
568
00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:59,140
You make the Cowardly Lion
look like Suge Knight.
569
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,800
Louise.
570
00:22:07,049 --> 00:22:08,154
MAN: Oh!
571
00:22:09,983 --> 00:22:11,606
They're holding him!
572
00:22:13,860 --> 00:22:16,160
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
573
00:22:16,180 --> 00:22:17,759
That's a disqualification.
574
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,430
And that's a disqualification.
575
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,480
- Disqualification!
- [BELL DINGS]
576
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,342
Disqualification!
577
00:22:23,376 --> 00:22:25,640
Gentlemen, come on up.
578
00:22:25,660 --> 00:22:27,730
- [CROWD BOOING]
- Come on, Tony.
579
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:33,279
And the winner is...
580
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,680
No, no, no, no, no! Don't stand up!
581
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,020
... Tony!
582
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,640
Wait a second! He's not a little person!
583
00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:40,980
Fuck this shit!
584
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,300
Fuck that!
585
00:22:42,330 --> 00:22:43,600
- [CROWD BOOING]
- Get him!
586
00:22:43,620 --> 00:22:45,740
That's cultural appropriation!
587
00:22:45,770 --> 00:22:47,711
He's appropriating!
588
00:22:47,745 --> 00:22:49,160
Appropriator!
589
00:22:49,380 --> 00:22:50,710
Come on!
590
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:55,300
591
00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:00,040
[BONE CRACKS]
592
00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:02,640
Owwwwwww! My ankie!
593
00:23:02,660 --> 00:23:04,969
[CROWD CHANTING INDISTINCTLY]
594
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:09,360
595
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,300
596
00:23:16,420 --> 00:23:17,530
[SIGHS]
597
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,080
TREV: Oh, great.
598
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:24,057
We were hoping you'd be
here, Mr. Louderman.
599
00:23:24,092 --> 00:23:25,404
Milk. Loudermilk.
600
00:23:25,430 --> 00:23:26,760
Ah. Oh.
601
00:23:26,770 --> 00:23:29,338
Well, we just wanted to
say that maybe we...
602
00:23:29,350 --> 00:23:31,280
No, not maybe.
603
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,928
Definitely.
604
00:23:32,963 --> 00:23:34,710
We wanted to say we were wrong.
605
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,691
You know? And... and we realized
606
00:23:36,692 --> 00:23:39,540
what you're doing here
is very important.
607
00:23:39,550 --> 00:23:42,731
And... and I guess we
just... we got all NIMBY.
608
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,440
Mm-hmm.
609
00:23:44,450 --> 00:23:46,840
That stands for "not in my backyard."
610
00:23:46,890 --> 00:23:48,960
And we're not those
kind of people at all.
611
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,960
We are for the common man all the way.
612
00:23:50,980 --> 00:23:52,480
Like, hard-core.
613
00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:54,380
We just...
614
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,814
Well, we lost sight of the big picture.
615
00:23:56,849 --> 00:23:59,645
But we support what you're
doing here. Totally.
616
00:23:59,670 --> 00:24:01,720
- A-And we got you this.
- Oh.
617
00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:03,859
- It's a state-of-the-art ashtray.
- Mm-hmm.
618
00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:06,340
It's homemade in Ojai.
619
00:24:06,370 --> 00:24:08,900
It can hold a lot of cigarette butts.
620
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,412
That way, they won't get stuck
621
00:24:10,413 --> 00:24:12,370
in the stomachs of dolphins and seals.
622
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,720
And we took your petition
down from letsfixit.org.
623
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,300
So... we're hoping you can forgive us
624
00:24:19,310 --> 00:24:21,770
and we can all live in harmony.
625
00:24:23,460 --> 00:24:24,900
Wow. I, uh...
626
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,630
I don't know what to say.
627
00:24:26,672 --> 00:24:29,847
I just really admire both of you
628
00:24:29,882 --> 00:24:31,435
for being able to admit that you...
629
00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,851
[MAN SCREAMING, INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
630
00:24:40,651 --> 00:24:44,103
We had a little fundraiser in
the gym tonight, and, um...
631
00:24:44,130 --> 00:24:45,900
Hey!
632
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,280
You're the guys from the
neighborhood forum.
633
00:24:48,300 --> 00:24:49,780
I just want to say... respect.
634
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,000
You guys are, like, troll royals.
635
00:24:52,020 --> 00:24:53,820
[CHUCKLES] Uh, who are you?
636
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,140
And, no, we're not trolls.
637
00:24:55,150 --> 00:24:57,496
[VEHICLE APPROACHING, TIRES SCREECHING]
638
00:24:59,730 --> 00:25:01,019
[GASPS]
639
00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:02,846
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]
640
00:25:06,263 --> 00:25:08,610
You son of a bitch.
641
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,060
You defiled my lady!
642
00:25:10,070 --> 00:25:12,200
What? I did no such thing.
643
00:25:12,220 --> 00:25:15,040
You took my Lucy out of her closet,
644
00:25:15,060 --> 00:25:16,650
and you pounded the shit out of her!
645
00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:18,171
- Oh!
- BEN: Oh, my word!
646
00:25:18,172 --> 00:25:19,518
I mean, why would I do that?
647
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:21,140
All my rubbers are gone!
648
00:25:21,150 --> 00:25:23,059
I found two of them in her poop hole!
649
00:25:23,060 --> 00:25:24,069
- Ooh. Geez.
- Ugh!
650
00:25:24,070 --> 00:25:26,740
This is a little unusual,
even for us. Yeah?
651
00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:28,500
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay! All right, okay.
652
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,499
I'm sorry, okay?
653
00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:32,879
She's just so dang enchanting,
654
00:25:32,880 --> 00:25:34,800
and I ju... I lost control of myself.
655
00:25:34,820 --> 00:25:36,431
And...
656
00:25:36,465 --> 00:25:40,849
you made my dog lick peanut
butter off your pecker.
657
00:25:40,884 --> 00:25:42,250
Oh, my God!
658
00:25:42,270 --> 00:25:44,059
What the fuck are you talking about, Ed?
659
00:25:44,090 --> 00:25:45,220
Oh, okay. Now I get it.
660
00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,028
That's the... that's the
peanut butter thing.
661
00:25:47,062 --> 00:25:48,339
Oh, like you don't know.
662
00:25:48,370 --> 00:25:49,820
I mark my peanut butter.
663
00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:51,470
There's a half a jar missing.
664
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,029
No. No, I had...
665
00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:56,693
I had some crackers with peanut butter.
666
00:25:56,700 --> 00:25:57,710
Right.
667
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:59,120
Look, Ed, I swear on my mother...
668
00:25:59,140 --> 00:26:01,145
I would never let your
dog lick peanut butter
669
00:26:01,146 --> 00:26:02,820
off of my pecker, Ed.
670
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,701
Let's think about this, okay?
671
00:26:04,735 --> 00:26:06,668
He's not a machine.
672
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,739
How's he gonna have
anything left for the dog
673
00:26:08,740 --> 00:26:10,660
after what he did to Lucy?
674
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,000
Thank you.
675
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,840
You don't come near her again.
676
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,460
677
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:22,960
Oh, hey. Thanks for the ashtray.
678
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:26,840
Well, that was an eventful evening.
679
00:26:26,860 --> 00:26:28,439
God, it's been a long time
680
00:26:28,440 --> 00:26:30,381
since I got punched in the balls.
681
00:26:30,416 --> 00:26:31,762
- [CELLPHONE RINGS]
- Yeah, me too.
682
00:26:31,797 --> 00:26:33,281
My third time in a week.
683
00:26:33,315 --> 00:26:34,600
Fucking hat trick!
684
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:36,560
- _
- [RINGING CONTINUES]
685
00:26:36,595 --> 00:26:38,942
Oh, God.
686
00:26:40,426 --> 00:26:41,738
I gotta take it.
687
00:26:41,772 --> 00:26:43,940
Sorry, guys. I gotta take this.
688
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,580
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
689
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,916
Hey, Dad. I'm sorry I've
been really hard to reach.
690
00:26:47,951 --> 00:26:49,400
I haven't...
691
00:26:49,435 --> 00:26:50,678
Hello?
692
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,472
Who's this?
693
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,750
Uh-huh?
694
00:26:57,620 --> 00:26:59,510
Okay.
695
00:27:02,620 --> 00:27:04,320
Yeah, I'll be there.
696
00:27:05,693 --> 00:27:07,108
[CELLPHONE BEEPS]
697
00:27:07,142 --> 00:27:08,840
Is everything okay, Loudermilk?
698
00:27:08,860 --> 00:27:10,920
Yeah.
699
00:27:10,940 --> 00:27:12,730
Yeah, I mean...
700
00:27:14,220 --> 00:27:15,590
My dad died.
701
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:19,879
[FRANZ FERDINAND'S THE
ACADEMY AWARD PLAYS]
702
00:27:19,910 --> 00:27:24,260
703
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:29,560
704
00:27:32,020 --> 00:27:33,800
Show me the body
705
00:27:33,820 --> 00:27:36,340
These pictures will shock you
706
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:39,780
Love is a drag we don't need anymore
707
00:27:39,900 --> 00:27:42,080
We don't need to score
708
00:27:42,100 --> 00:27:44,283
Show me the body
709
00:27:44,310 --> 00:27:46,000
404
710
00:27:46,020 --> 00:27:47,400
Gateway not found
711
00:27:47,420 --> 00:27:50,200
My wife is such a fan
712
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,947
Show me the body
713
00:27:54,060 --> 00:27:58,670
Show me the body now
714
00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:02,820
We're starring in the
movies of our lives
715
00:28:02,900 --> 00:28:06,780
We're starring in the
movies of our lives
716
00:28:06,820 --> 00:28:09,640
717
00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:14,240
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