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1
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:06,958
_
2
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Sam texted us an "X."
3
00:00:13,419 --> 00:00:14,497
What does that mean?
4
00:00:14,522 --> 00:00:15,716
Our deal with the kids.
5
00:00:15,741 --> 00:00:17,992
Tim, if they ever need
an emergency ride home,
6
00:00:18,017 --> 00:00:20,013
all they have to do is
text an "X," an address,
7
00:00:20,047 --> 00:00:21,391
we go pick them up, no questions asked.
8
00:00:21,415 --> 00:00:23,349
Where is my good bra?
9
00:00:23,374 --> 00:00:25,252
Can I go like this? I
feel like this is good.
10
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,408
She's never texted us an "X" before.
11
00:00:27,433 --> 00:00:28,974
What do you think that means?
12
00:00:28,999 --> 00:00:30,424
I don't know. It sounds dirty.
13
00:00:30,457 --> 00:00:32,591
I mean, that might just
be 'cause of the "X."
14
00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,437
Maybe we should've called
it "Come and Get Me."
15
00:00:34,461 --> 00:00:36,884
'Cause that can't sound sexual
unless they said, like...
16
00:00:36,909 --> 00:00:37,920
"Come and get me."
17
00:00:37,944 --> 00:00:39,066
But why would they say that?
18
00:00:39,100 --> 00:00:41,435
Stop it. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
19
00:00:41,468 --> 00:00:42,512
Mom?
20
00:00:42,536 --> 00:00:45,106
I had a bad dream you were abandoning me
21
00:00:45,139 --> 00:00:47,574
in the middle of the...
22
00:00:47,608 --> 00:00:49,443
Oh, no.
23
00:00:49,476 --> 00:00:51,370
Oh, shoot.
24
00:00:51,395 --> 00:00:53,680
Somebody needs to stay
here for Sophia. You stay.
25
00:00:53,714 --> 00:00:55,340
- No, you.
- Oh, Tim.
26
00:00:55,365 --> 00:00:58,952
This is even worse than being abandoned.
27
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,842
- Hey.
- Hey.
28
00:01:11,009 --> 00:01:13,450
Okay, I'm not gonna ask any questions,
29
00:01:13,475 --> 00:01:15,202
but why are you wet?
30
00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:17,604
- That's a question, Mom.
- I know, I know. I hear that now.
31
00:01:17,638 --> 00:01:20,843
- Can we just go?
- Well, you just asked a question.
32
00:01:20,868 --> 00:01:23,259
- Mom.
- Okay, fine. Fine, fine, fine.
33
00:01:26,626 --> 00:01:28,615
The "X" text sucks.
34
00:01:28,649 --> 00:01:30,151
Okay? I'm sorry.
35
00:01:30,184 --> 00:01:32,953
Somebody gets into your car soaking wet,
36
00:01:32,986 --> 00:01:36,157
you want to know why.
Right? This is still America.
37
00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:38,659
You're not the only one who
had a rough night, you know.
38
00:01:38,692 --> 00:01:41,795
I fell asleep eating kale
chips. They're that boring.
39
00:01:41,828 --> 00:01:45,098
Tim, I just... I-I can't do this.
40
00:01:45,123 --> 00:01:47,593
I need to know what happened last night.
41
00:01:47,618 --> 00:01:49,236
- So ask Sam.
- No.
42
00:01:49,270 --> 00:01:51,505
Because if I ask her, she
won't text us next time
43
00:01:51,538 --> 00:01:53,140
because she'll never trust us again.
44
00:01:53,174 --> 00:01:55,155
I'm sure she's fine now.
45
00:02:05,712 --> 00:02:08,366
That's where her dreams
are supposed to go.
46
00:02:11,444 --> 00:02:12,759
Hey, guys.
47
00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:14,094
What you up to?
48
00:02:14,127 --> 00:02:18,031
Well, we're actually having
our first real struggle
49
00:02:18,064 --> 00:02:19,859
about where we want to be in our lives.
50
00:02:19,884 --> 00:02:22,703
Yeah, so, I need a favor
from the two of you.
51
00:02:23,259 --> 00:02:24,638
Last night,
52
00:02:24,671 --> 00:02:26,908
Sam texted Dad and me an "X."
53
00:02:26,933 --> 00:02:28,026
Oh, yeah, we know.
54
00:02:28,051 --> 00:02:29,776
- She told us all about it.
- Mm-hmm.
55
00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:31,712
Oh, okay, 'cause, I
mean, she told me a lot.
56
00:02:31,745 --> 00:02:33,880
Like, you know, she told
me all about the pool stuff.
57
00:02:33,914 --> 00:02:35,216
- Right?
- Yeah, I can't comment
58
00:02:35,249 --> 00:02:37,351
as to whether there
was or was not a pool.
59
00:02:37,384 --> 00:02:38,819
- Okay.
- Do I need to remind you
60
00:02:38,844 --> 00:02:40,053
about the "X" text rules?
61
00:02:40,086 --> 00:02:42,434
No, you do not, because the rules are
62
00:02:42,459 --> 00:02:44,793
that I can't ask the texter,
63
00:02:44,818 --> 00:02:48,036
but I can ask other people.
64
00:02:48,329 --> 00:02:49,508
Yeah, I think you would agree
65
00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,635
that that's a liberal
interpretation of the rules.
66
00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:54,324
I would agree that you
live here rent-free.
67
00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:57,013
Look, Mom, I understand how you feel.
68
00:02:57,037 --> 00:02:59,339
But the important thing
is that Sam is fine.
69
00:02:59,364 --> 00:03:02,470
Yeah. Well... she will be.
70
00:03:02,495 --> 00:03:05,045
That is all that Clementine
has to say at this time.
71
00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:06,305
What?
72
00:03:12,289 --> 00:03:14,755
- What are you doing?
- Shh!
73
00:03:14,788 --> 00:03:16,876
I'm trying to unlock Sam's phone
74
00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:18,436
using facial recognition
75
00:03:18,461 --> 00:03:19,936
so that I can get into her social media,
76
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,161
find out what happened.
77
00:03:21,194 --> 00:03:23,029
- You can't do that.
- I know.
78
00:03:23,063 --> 00:03:25,508
She's sleeping on her stomach.
You got to flip her over.
79
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:28,402
Gently. Just...
80
00:03:30,826 --> 00:03:32,527
- Aw.
- Oh.
81
00:03:37,077 --> 00:03:39,188
God, I remember when I used
to pick her up from school
82
00:03:39,212 --> 00:03:41,782
and she would talk the entire way home.
83
00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:43,417
She would tell me every detail.
84
00:03:43,450 --> 00:03:47,220
Who she liked, who was mean,
who cried, who threw up.
85
00:03:47,254 --> 00:03:48,855
It's Sam.
86
00:03:48,889 --> 00:03:50,724
If she wants to talk to us, she will.
87
00:03:50,757 --> 00:03:52,693
- I know.
- Come on.
88
00:03:55,214 --> 00:03:56,363
Okay, no, no, no, no.
89
00:03:56,388 --> 00:03:57,655
Heather, don't.
90
00:04:03,190 --> 00:04:06,707
Oh. I'm gonna go see if
Tyler wants to cuddle.
91
00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:09,609
Clementine always makes it weird.
92
00:04:12,046 --> 00:04:13,515
I love you.
93
00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:22,122
- Hey.
- Hey.
94
00:04:22,155 --> 00:04:24,241
I just wanted to tell you...
95
00:04:24,266 --> 00:04:26,259
I feel lucky to have a mom like you.
96
00:04:26,293 --> 00:04:28,128
- Oh.
- I was worried
97
00:04:28,161 --> 00:04:29,996
you were going to
badger me about the party
98
00:04:30,030 --> 00:04:32,766
and ask everyone in the
family a million questions,
99
00:04:32,799 --> 00:04:34,635
like, never let it die.
100
00:04:34,668 --> 00:04:36,903
Right. That would never happen, okay?
101
00:04:36,937 --> 00:04:39,198
This is me that we're
talking about, right?
102
00:04:39,223 --> 00:04:40,307
Well, thank you.
103
00:04:40,341 --> 00:04:42,175
'Cause tons of people got in trouble.
104
00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:44,511
A bunch of college kids
got put on probation.
105
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:45,846
What a party.
106
00:04:45,879 --> 00:04:48,415
- You have no idea.
- Mmm.
107
00:04:50,428 --> 00:04:51,770
Yeah.
108
00:04:53,019 --> 00:04:55,155
Oh, God.
109
00:04:58,263 --> 00:05:00,036
_
110
00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:04,671
Thank you.
111
00:05:04,911 --> 00:05:06,659
I'm glad you could use Heather's ticket.
112
00:05:06,684 --> 00:05:09,253
It's really cool that
I called to invite Matt
113
00:05:09,278 --> 00:05:11,104
and you invited yourself instead.
114
00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:12,639
I know. It really pays off
115
00:05:12,673 --> 00:05:14,433
to answer your husband's
phone and read his texts.
116
00:05:14,457 --> 00:05:15,685
Well, we're gonna have fun tonight.
117
00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:18,379
- I love these French circus shows.
- Oh, me, too.
118
00:05:18,412 --> 00:05:20,847
I just want to lose myself
in the acrobatic fantasy
119
00:05:20,881 --> 00:05:23,149
and forget who I am for one night.
120
00:05:23,683 --> 00:05:26,887
You're not gonna talk like that
through the whole show, are you?
121
00:05:33,303 --> 00:05:34,754
Damn it.
122
00:05:34,779 --> 00:05:36,229
- Damn it!
- What happened?
123
00:05:36,262 --> 00:05:37,831
Did you see an ex-girlfriend?
124
00:05:37,864 --> 00:05:40,133
Kind of. Your poutine.
125
00:05:40,365 --> 00:05:42,150
French fries, cheese curds and gravy.
126
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,336
Everything I love.
127
00:05:43,370 --> 00:05:45,839
Oh, and that you can't eat anymore.
128
00:05:45,872 --> 00:05:47,207
Since the heart surgery,
129
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,941
everything I eat is
just steamed sadness.
130
00:05:49,966 --> 00:05:52,879
I am so sorry. I'll go eat
it quickly over a garbage can.
131
00:05:52,913 --> 00:05:55,682
Oh, my favorite way to eat it. Ooh.
132
00:05:55,716 --> 00:05:58,018
- Let me just have one bite.
- I don't think I should.
133
00:05:58,051 --> 00:06:01,037
Come on, I'm a big boy. I
can handle a little poutine.
134
00:06:01,062 --> 00:06:01,863
Oh.
135
00:06:01,888 --> 00:06:03,189
- Mmm.
- Okay, that's enough.
136
00:06:03,223 --> 00:06:05,582
Oh, you're gonna have
to get two of these.
137
00:06:07,129 --> 00:06:08,829
It's gonna be a great night.
138
00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:09,862
Oh!
139
00:06:10,511 --> 00:06:12,012
Poutine!
140
00:06:12,155 --> 00:06:14,368
Why have you forsaken me?
141
00:06:21,017 --> 00:06:22,543
- You okay?
- Oh, yeah.
142
00:06:22,576 --> 00:06:25,114
I just like to sit real
still during these shows.
143
00:06:25,139 --> 00:06:26,575
Clap with my eyes.
144
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,201
Okay.
145
00:06:31,509 --> 00:06:32,911
Oh, I love this.
146
00:06:32,936 --> 00:06:34,465
French clowns are so much better
147
00:06:34,490 --> 00:06:36,256
than American clowns
because they're mean.
148
00:06:37,117 --> 00:06:39,204
Oh. I think I need to leave
something in the bathroom.
149
00:06:40,226 --> 00:06:42,011
No, no, no, no, not now.
150
00:06:42,036 --> 00:06:43,778
They're gonna come in the
audience and pick somebody.
151
00:06:43,802 --> 00:06:45,203
I hope it's us.
152
00:06:46,733 --> 00:06:48,735
If you look too eager,
they will not pick you,
153
00:06:48,769 --> 00:06:50,336
- so look away.
- Got it.
154
00:06:54,621 --> 00:06:55,990
Oh.
155
00:06:56,510 --> 00:06:58,822
No. No, no, no. I'm too eager.
156
00:06:58,847 --> 00:07:00,881
I-I got something going
on with my stomach.
157
00:07:00,914 --> 00:07:02,916
Oh. Lève-to ma ma mootee, eh?
158
00:07:02,949 --> 00:07:04,250
But that's not even French.
159
00:07:04,284 --> 00:07:05,786
You can understand me.
160
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,091
Jealous.
161
00:07:12,325 --> 00:07:14,094
Please, just let me go back.
162
00:07:18,289 --> 00:07:19,457
No.
163
00:07:20,518 --> 00:07:22,149
No, no, you got to pick somebody else.
164
00:07:22,174 --> 00:07:23,932
There's something going on inside me.
165
00:07:23,957 --> 00:07:24,909
Yves Saint Laurent.
166
00:07:24,934 --> 00:07:26,713
That's just a handbag designer!
167
00:07:27,608 --> 00:07:28,809
Oh, God.
168
00:07:28,842 --> 00:07:29,810
Wait a second, wait a second.
169
00:07:29,843 --> 00:07:32,100
This is not... this is not a good plan.
170
00:07:32,125 --> 00:07:33,814
We need a different plan. God, please...
171
00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:35,569
No...!
172
00:07:35,934 --> 00:07:36,935
Bonjour.
173
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,284
Bonjour.
174
00:07:38,318 --> 00:07:40,086
No, no, no, I have
to go to the bathroom!
175
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,523
Don't do this to me!
176
00:07:45,992 --> 00:07:47,594
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
177
00:07:47,628 --> 00:07:49,129
Merci.
178
00:07:49,562 --> 00:07:51,297
Oh, God, not here.
179
00:07:52,109 --> 00:07:53,500
Not like this.
180
00:07:53,534 --> 00:07:54,635
Key?
181
00:07:56,215 --> 00:07:57,215
No.
182
00:07:57,673 --> 00:07:59,409
Mind over matter.
183
00:07:59,434 --> 00:08:00,308
No.
184
00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:01,511
You don't have to go.
185
00:08:01,536 --> 00:08:03,847
Oh, yes, you do!
186
00:08:03,872 --> 00:08:06,815
Ooh, I got to go, I
got to go, I got to go.
187
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,935
What's taking so long?
188
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,684
This is not a good trick!
189
00:08:12,485 --> 00:08:15,522
No. Uh, maybe, uh, this key.
190
00:08:15,556 --> 00:08:17,521
Ah, j'adore Ratatouille, hmm?
191
00:08:17,546 --> 00:08:19,125
That's it.
192
00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:20,226
I'm taking a picture.
193
00:08:22,929 --> 00:08:24,154
Cheese.
194
00:08:24,179 --> 00:08:25,999
Oh! Ooh!
195
00:08:27,335 --> 00:08:29,177
Oh.
196
00:08:30,163 --> 00:08:31,499
Je t'aime, oh là là .
197
00:08:31,524 --> 00:08:33,255
It's Tim, from the box.
198
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,841
I need to go to the bathroom.
199
00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,810
- Ouais.
- Ouais.
200
00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:43,717
Shut up. No, you didn't.
201
00:08:47,134 --> 00:08:48,488
- Tim?
- Heather, it's Tim.
202
00:08:48,521 --> 00:08:50,499
I need help. I've been locked
in a box by French clowns,
203
00:08:50,523 --> 00:08:52,583
and I have diarrhea.
204
00:08:52,778 --> 00:08:55,228
Okay, okay, all right. Well, calm down.
205
00:08:55,261 --> 00:08:57,506
I'm afraid I'm gonna let loose
in front of this whole theater.
206
00:08:57,530 --> 00:08:59,989
They're never gonna be
able to use this box again.
207
00:09:00,317 --> 00:09:02,512
I don't know how much
longer I can hold it.
208
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,490
Oh, here comes another contraction!
209
00:09:05,975 --> 00:09:07,340
Heather, you got to help me.
210
00:09:07,373 --> 00:09:10,280
Oh, Tim, honey, I would,
but I can't right now.
211
00:09:10,305 --> 00:09:12,413
I'm having wine with Jen.
212
00:09:12,438 --> 00:09:13,580
Hi, Tim.
213
00:09:13,614 --> 00:09:14,681
Hi, Jen.
214
00:09:14,715 --> 00:09:16,883
I'm in a box with diarrhea.
215
00:09:16,917 --> 00:09:18,844
Yeah. Yeah, I heard.
216
00:09:18,869 --> 00:09:21,344
So, honey, what-what
do you want me to do?
217
00:09:21,369 --> 00:09:24,457
Just call the theater. Tell
them to... end the trick.
218
00:09:24,490 --> 00:09:25,892
I think by the time I do that,
219
00:09:25,926 --> 00:09:28,094
you know, the trick
will probably be over.
220
00:09:28,128 --> 00:09:30,030
I know. I'm sorry.
221
00:09:30,732 --> 00:09:32,699
I shouldn't have eaten the poutine.
222
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:34,100
Oh, Tim, you broke your diet.
223
00:09:34,134 --> 00:09:36,073
Uh...
224
00:09:36,683 --> 00:09:38,471
did you just text me an "X"?
225
00:09:38,504 --> 00:09:39,572
Yeah.
226
00:09:39,925 --> 00:09:42,542
Come get me. No questions asked.
227
00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:52,218
I'm dead on the floor.
228
00:09:53,825 --> 00:09:55,121
Dear God,
229
00:09:55,155 --> 00:09:56,556
if you get me through this,
230
00:09:56,589 --> 00:09:59,559
I swear I'll only eat healthy
for the rest of my life.
231
00:10:04,665 --> 00:10:06,651
Please, Father,
232
00:10:06,676 --> 00:10:09,573
use your gentle hand
to hold this inside me.
233
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:13,767
- Hey!
- Oh!
234
00:10:19,038 --> 00:10:20,648
Bravo!
235
00:10:20,903 --> 00:10:21,808
Hold it.
236
00:10:21,833 --> 00:10:23,671
Hold it. Hold it.
237
00:10:23,696 --> 00:10:26,904
But wasn't he supposed
to sit down in his seat?
238
00:10:26,929 --> 00:10:28,621
Yep. That's not good.
239
00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:29,622
Oh, oh!
240
00:10:29,656 --> 00:10:31,524
Everybody out of the way!
241
00:10:37,108 --> 00:10:38,765
So close.
242
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:44,423
_
243
00:10:45,870 --> 00:10:49,084
Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da!
244
00:10:49,117 --> 00:10:51,008
- Ta-da! Ta-da!
- Hi, sweetie.
245
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:52,836
- Ta-da!
- You okay?
246
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:53,812
Yeah, yeah.
247
00:10:53,837 --> 00:10:55,283
No, I'm just, you know, exhausted,
248
00:10:55,308 --> 00:10:56,558
and the baby's starving.
249
00:10:56,591 --> 00:10:58,402
- And I don't know what Lark is doing.
- Ta-da! Ta-da! Ta-da!
250
00:10:58,426 --> 00:10:59,928
- Ta-da!
- You know what, go upstairs
251
00:10:59,962 --> 00:11:03,265
to Greg's old room,
breastfeed, and sleep.
252
00:11:03,290 --> 00:11:05,282
John and I will take care of Lark.
253
00:11:05,307 --> 00:11:08,171
Oh, really? Thank you so much.
254
00:11:08,196 --> 00:11:10,366
You know, I know I complain
about these brunches,
255
00:11:10,391 --> 00:11:13,574
but I'm just so lucky to be
part of such a close family.
256
00:11:15,344 --> 00:11:17,707
You complain about these brunches?
257
00:11:17,732 --> 00:11:19,008
Who said that?
258
00:11:31,102 --> 00:11:32,092
Yeah.
259
00:11:32,117 --> 00:11:34,304
Honey, what's the matter? What is it?
260
00:11:34,907 --> 00:11:36,999
I just saw Jen's boob.
261
00:11:37,032 --> 00:11:38,927
What? How?
262
00:11:38,952 --> 00:11:40,802
Well, I-I had to go to the bathroom,
263
00:11:40,835 --> 00:11:43,121
so I use the one up in Greg's room.
264
00:11:43,146 --> 00:11:46,241
And Jen was there, asleep.
265
00:11:46,826 --> 00:11:48,010
And it was out.
266
00:11:48,043 --> 00:11:49,697
So she doesn't even know.
267
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:51,079
That's wonderful.
268
00:11:51,113 --> 00:11:52,647
But... No. But she will know.
269
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,149
I've got to tell her.
270
00:11:54,189 --> 00:11:56,162
No, no, no, no, no. Trust me.
271
00:11:56,187 --> 00:11:57,389
Don't tell her.
272
00:11:57,414 --> 00:11:59,587
You'll only embarrass her.
273
00:11:59,621 --> 00:12:00,831
But the world is changing.
274
00:12:00,855 --> 00:12:02,424
I need to get out in front of this.
275
00:12:02,457 --> 00:12:05,289
You see something, you say something.
276
00:12:05,314 --> 00:12:07,782
Dear, that's at the airport.
277
00:12:08,055 --> 00:12:09,844
Just let this go.
278
00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,768
Nothing catching your eye?
279
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,038
No, uh, uh, not even looking.
280
00:12:16,071 --> 00:12:17,372
Oh. Well, I don't blame you.
281
00:12:17,405 --> 00:12:19,807
Colleen brought a peanut
butter and jelly frittata.
282
00:12:19,841 --> 00:12:21,476
I mean, call me old-fashioned,
283
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,445
but I like my 'tatas plain and simple.
284
00:12:23,478 --> 00:12:25,680
Yeah, yeah.
285
00:12:25,713 --> 00:12:28,450
I mean, I don't think
I'm really hungry. Mm-hmm.
286
00:12:28,483 --> 00:12:31,707
Oh, hey, by the way, thank
you for watching my girls.
287
00:12:31,732 --> 00:12:33,621
You know, you and Joan
just always do so much
288
00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:35,457
to make me feel welcome in this family,
289
00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:37,892
and-and now you've really
made me feel comfortable.
290
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:39,461
I saw your boob.
291
00:12:39,849 --> 00:12:40,856
What?
292
00:12:40,881 --> 00:12:43,512
Yeah, y-you were
asleep, feeding the baby,
293
00:12:43,537 --> 00:12:44,832
with your boob out.
294
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,834
That's fine. I mean,
I breastfeed in public
295
00:12:46,868 --> 00:12:48,470
all the time. It's natural.
296
00:12:48,503 --> 00:12:50,205
No, no. The feeding was over.
297
00:12:50,238 --> 00:12:53,275
The baby was down,
and-and the boob was up.
298
00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,676
Like, all of it.
299
00:12:54,709 --> 00:12:56,010
Oh, God.
300
00:12:56,044 --> 00:12:57,479
I-I-I'm a horrible person.
301
00:12:57,512 --> 00:12:59,243
No better than Tim.
302
00:12:59,268 --> 00:13:01,017
Okay, look. It was an accident.
303
00:13:01,042 --> 00:13:04,204
So let's just never mention this again
304
00:13:04,229 --> 00:13:06,688
and forget the whole thing.
305
00:13:06,721 --> 00:13:08,456
Oh. Roger that.
306
00:13:11,244 --> 00:13:12,846
It's all good, buddy.
307
00:13:12,871 --> 00:13:15,205
I apologized, and Jen forgave me.
308
00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:17,232
- For what?
- For seeing her boob.
309
00:13:17,265 --> 00:13:18,933
You saw my wife's boob?
310
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,704
Well, that's your first mistake.
311
00:13:20,729 --> 00:13:22,437
She's her own wife, not yours.
312
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:24,872
Time to evolve, Greg.
313
00:13:25,213 --> 00:13:27,175
Why didn't you tell me
my dad saw your boob?
314
00:13:27,209 --> 00:13:29,577
- Oh. You already told him.
- Mm.
315
00:13:29,611 --> 00:13:31,679
John, I thought you
were letting this go.
316
00:13:31,713 --> 00:13:32,680
Oh.
317
00:13:32,714 --> 00:13:34,729
He told you, too. Fun.
318
00:13:34,754 --> 00:13:35,888
Calm down.
319
00:13:35,913 --> 00:13:38,019
I told Joanie before you.
320
00:13:38,052 --> 00:13:40,922
And I told you not to tell her.
321
00:13:40,955 --> 00:13:42,023
Mm-hmm.
322
00:13:42,056 --> 00:13:43,858
Okay, I need a moment alone.
323
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:45,122
Can I come?
324
00:13:45,372 --> 00:13:46,261
Why not?
325
00:13:46,294 --> 00:13:48,730
There's no such thing
as privacy in this home.
326
00:13:50,432 --> 00:13:51,620
Hmm.
327
00:13:51,762 --> 00:13:53,745
If you want to make this better,
328
00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:55,751
stop embarrassing Jen.
329
00:13:55,776 --> 00:13:58,440
Ooh, John! What'd you
embarrass Jen about?
330
00:13:58,473 --> 00:14:00,642
Oh. Wait, what's going
on with you and Jen?
331
00:14:00,675 --> 00:14:02,221
Yeah, Dad, what happened?
332
00:14:03,073 --> 00:14:04,546
Something must have happened.
333
00:14:04,579 --> 00:14:07,096
- What's happening?
- Okay, fine.
334
00:14:07,658 --> 00:14:10,775
I know she wouldn't want me
telling this to you guys, but...
335
00:14:11,319 --> 00:14:12,954
Jen saw my penis.
336
00:14:12,987 --> 00:14:13,955
What?!
337
00:14:13,988 --> 00:14:16,086
I was upstairs feeding the baby,
338
00:14:16,111 --> 00:14:18,092
and she walked in.
339
00:14:18,117 --> 00:14:19,427
I didn't even know.
340
00:14:19,461 --> 00:14:20,895
How'd you not know?
341
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,063
I'd fallen asleep.
342
00:14:22,096 --> 00:14:23,298
Feeding the baby?
343
00:14:23,331 --> 00:14:24,966
- Yes.
- While your penis was out?
344
00:14:24,999 --> 00:14:26,334
Yes, exactly.
345
00:14:26,368 --> 00:14:27,335
A-And I know
346
00:14:27,369 --> 00:14:28,836
it's an unlucky situation,
347
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:32,607
but Jen has nothing to
be embarrassed about.
348
00:14:33,169 --> 00:14:34,204
Okay, Jen,
349
00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:37,032
I am so sorry about my dad.
350
00:14:37,057 --> 00:14:40,236
Seriously, John? You
told the entire family?
351
00:14:40,261 --> 00:14:42,784
Yep. Now the whole family
knows you saw my ween.
352
00:14:43,818 --> 00:14:44,786
What?!
353
00:14:44,819 --> 00:14:46,367
What happened in my old room?
354
00:14:46,392 --> 00:14:47,524
Oh, it's so weird.
355
00:14:47,549 --> 00:14:48,923
John saw my boob.
356
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,692
While you were looking at his ween?
357
00:14:50,725 --> 00:14:53,186
No. I wasn't looking
at his anything, okay?
358
00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:55,702
I was feeding the baby, I fell asleep,
359
00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:57,098
and John walked in.
360
00:14:57,131 --> 00:14:59,841
Then why did you tell us
that she saw your Lone Ranger?
361
00:14:59,866 --> 00:15:02,073
What is the matter with you?
362
00:15:02,098 --> 00:15:04,512
I think because he was trying
363
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,841
to protect me from
being embarrassed by...
364
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,876
I don't know, embarrassing himself.
365
00:15:09,341 --> 00:15:11,346
Pretty clever, right?
366
00:15:11,379 --> 00:15:13,294
So amazingly stupid.
367
00:15:13,319 --> 00:15:15,591
I actually preferred it when
you just told me the truth.
368
00:15:15,616 --> 00:15:17,885
You know? No matter
how hard it was to hear.
369
00:15:18,476 --> 00:15:19,914
I also saw your boob.
370
00:15:19,939 --> 00:15:21,189
I will end you, Tyler.
371
00:15:21,223 --> 00:15:23,691
Does anyone in this family knock?
372
00:15:23,725 --> 00:15:25,230
We're not big knockers.
373
00:15:25,255 --> 00:15:26,328
Sorry.
374
00:15:26,574 --> 00:15:29,533
Okay. Well, anyone else see my boob?
375
00:15:34,369 --> 00:15:37,038
It is the most private
bathroom in the house.
376
00:15:38,940 --> 00:15:41,919
Okay. Well, time to feed
the baby again, so...
377
00:15:41,944 --> 00:15:43,871
anyone who missed the 11:30 show,
378
00:15:43,896 --> 00:15:45,436
please follow me.
379
00:15:48,182 --> 00:15:50,002
Everyone stays in this room.
380
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:52,007
_
381
00:15:54,179 --> 00:15:55,427
Look at this.
382
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:57,888
Hmm? Two dads watching their kids play?
383
00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,364
- Yeah.
- It's pretty cool.
384
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:02,791
And, hey, I know you're new at this,
385
00:16:02,816 --> 00:16:05,103
so if you need any dad-vice, I'm here.
386
00:16:06,354 --> 00:16:07,740
Did you just say "dad-vice"?
387
00:16:07,773 --> 00:16:09,791
Yeah. It's mine. Don't use it.
388
00:16:10,041 --> 00:16:13,391
Oh, oh. Looks like a
show's about to start.
389
00:16:13,416 --> 00:16:14,088
Okay.
390
00:16:14,113 --> 00:16:15,915
Uh-oh.
391
00:16:26,524 --> 00:16:28,360
- She's been taking lessons.
- Yeah.
392
00:16:28,385 --> 00:16:29,494
In piano?
393
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:37,321
Oh, you did so good, honey.
394
00:16:37,346 --> 00:16:39,237
And she hit every key!
395
00:16:39,271 --> 00:16:42,727
I don't think you left a key untouched.
396
00:16:42,907 --> 00:16:44,176
Sorry about that.
397
00:16:44,209 --> 00:16:47,352
Lark casts a pretty big
shadow, but give it some time.
398
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,394
I'm sure Lucas will
find his own way to...
399
00:16:55,287 --> 00:16:57,990
Why didn't you tell
us he could play piano?
400
00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,458
I didn't know he could play piano.
401
00:17:02,071 --> 00:17:04,930
Boy, I really like how you
can tell what song it is.
402
00:17:04,963 --> 00:17:07,165
Yeah, it's the one from
the carpet commercial.
403
00:17:07,199 --> 00:17:09,804
♪ We have carpets, indoor, outdoor ♪
404
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:12,218
♪ Brown, beige, tan,
beige, brown and white. ♪
405
00:17:12,871 --> 00:17:14,306
Oh!
406
00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:20,545
Hey, Greg,
407
00:17:20,578 --> 00:17:22,214
let me know if you need any dad-vice.
408
00:17:22,247 --> 00:17:23,892
You know, you're not
even saying that the ri...
409
00:17:23,916 --> 00:17:25,884
Well, okay, I guess
that is the right way.
410
00:17:27,472 --> 00:17:30,010
Oh, my gosh! Ragtime!
411
00:17:33,726 --> 00:17:36,358
Hey, buddy. Guess...
412
00:17:36,383 --> 00:17:38,563
who just learned how
to play "Tiny Dancer"?
413
00:17:38,596 --> 00:17:39,832
Mom's favorite song.
414
00:17:39,865 --> 00:17:41,616
- Yeah.
- Subtle.
415
00:17:41,641 --> 00:17:43,535
Came on the radio, and
he just picked it up.
416
00:17:43,568 --> 00:17:46,504
Well, that's not a big deal.
That's like me and beatboxing.
417
00:17:46,538 --> 00:17:48,006
Our whole M.O. as parents
418
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,208
is just to nurture the nature in him.
419
00:17:50,242 --> 00:17:52,070
You don't have an M.O.
You don't even know
420
00:17:52,095 --> 00:17:53,491
what M.O. stands for.
421
00:17:53,516 --> 00:17:55,180
I'll just ask Lucas.
422
00:17:55,299 --> 00:17:56,501
He'll know.
423
00:17:58,220 --> 00:17:59,517
Where did you find that?
424
00:18:00,548 --> 00:18:01,887
Oh, no, this found me.
425
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,688
You have been a dad for three weeks.
426
00:18:03,722 --> 00:18:05,002
Well, you don't get to
be the world's greatest
427
00:18:05,026 --> 00:18:06,658
by working slow.
428
00:18:06,987 --> 00:18:08,656
Daddy, look.
429
00:18:09,126 --> 00:18:10,523
Oh, wow.
430
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:13,241
Look at this, everybody.
431
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,743
Lark's Eiffel Tower.
432
00:18:15,768 --> 00:18:17,731
Ooh, is that perfect!
433
00:18:17,756 --> 00:18:19,918
I feel like I'm in Paris.
434
00:18:19,943 --> 00:18:21,473
I hate the French.
435
00:18:21,498 --> 00:18:22,733
Good work, Lark.
436
00:18:22,758 --> 00:18:24,840
Lucas made it for me.
437
00:18:24,865 --> 00:18:25,865
What's that?
438
00:18:25,978 --> 00:18:27,373
That's my son.
439
00:18:28,123 --> 00:18:30,910
He's talented and generous. Hey, Mommy?
440
00:18:31,230 --> 00:18:32,708
We are doing a great job.
441
00:18:32,733 --> 00:18:34,839
Oh, my God, I love it
when you call me Mommy.
442
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:38,144
- Okay, this is disgusting, all of it.
- Hey, buddy,
443
00:18:38,169 --> 00:18:39,575
come on, now, don't beat yourself up.
444
00:18:39,599 --> 00:18:41,002
It's okay that you haven't
taught your daughter
445
00:18:41,026 --> 00:18:42,126
to explore her creativity.
446
00:18:42,151 --> 00:18:43,896
My daughter explores plenty.
447
00:18:44,438 --> 00:18:45,931
Certainly looks like it.
448
00:18:46,830 --> 00:18:48,258
Oh, sweetie.
449
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:49,932
Would you like a tissue?
450
00:18:50,533 --> 00:18:51,927
She learned that from her mother.
451
00:18:51,952 --> 00:18:53,153
Mm.
452
00:18:54,281 --> 00:18:56,740
Okay, so... Lark,
stop picking your nose.
453
00:18:56,765 --> 00:18:59,881
Okay, so, when we get out
there, okay, I'm gonna hide
454
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:03,201
this five of spades right
here under Uncle Matt's chair,
455
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:06,991
and when I say so, you
grab that card and you say,
456
00:19:07,031 --> 00:19:08,253
"Ta-da!"
457
00:19:08,286 --> 00:19:09,187
Ta-da!
458
00:19:09,212 --> 00:19:11,374
- Yeah. No, not yet.
- Ta-da!
459
00:19:11,399 --> 00:19:13,903
- Okay, I think I see what's...
- Ta-da! Ta-da!
460
00:19:13,928 --> 00:19:17,044
Uh, it is a fun word, but
let's not say that word
461
00:19:17,069 --> 00:19:19,575
until everyone is watching, okay?
462
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:21,192
What's going on here?
463
00:19:21,217 --> 00:19:23,668
Are you teaching Lark magic
tricks to get attention?
464
00:19:23,771 --> 00:19:25,435
Ta-da!
465
00:19:26,990 --> 00:19:29,528
Look, you don't get it, man, all right?
466
00:19:29,553 --> 00:19:31,426
Lark had the spotlight all to herself,
467
00:19:31,451 --> 00:19:33,778
until someone came along
and stole it from her.
468
00:19:33,812 --> 00:19:36,597
You just described my entire life.
469
00:19:36,622 --> 00:19:38,449
I used to be the center of attention
470
00:19:38,474 --> 00:19:41,086
until you were born, but I got over it.
471
00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:42,855
- No, you didn't.
- But I don't bring it up.
472
00:19:42,888 --> 00:19:44,552
Yes, you do, all the time.
473
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,363
Yeah, because it hurts
giving up the spotlight.
474
00:19:47,388 --> 00:19:48,816
That's why, 36 years later,
475
00:19:48,841 --> 00:19:51,096
you can't give it up to your own nephew.
476
00:19:56,326 --> 00:19:59,145
Daddy, I forgot what the word was.
477
00:20:00,317 --> 00:20:01,739
Ta-da.
478
00:20:13,339 --> 00:20:15,902
♪ When I see you, baby
girl, I be like, num num ♪
479
00:20:15,927 --> 00:20:18,133
We adopted a star.
480
00:20:18,166 --> 00:20:20,636
I mean, was it a
performing arts orphanage?
481
00:20:20,669 --> 00:20:22,037
♪ I gotta have it... ♪
482
00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:25,140
Can I show everybody my magic trick now?
483
00:20:25,779 --> 00:20:27,082
Uh...
484
00:20:27,107 --> 00:20:28,575
you know what?
485
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,162
We're all watching
Lucas dance right now.
486
00:20:31,295 --> 00:20:32,715
And he's pretty great.
487
00:20:33,264 --> 00:20:35,083
Thanks, man. So is Lark.
488
00:20:35,117 --> 00:20:37,886
♪ That num num, give it to me
before I start to act up... ♪
489
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,298
Hey, Lucas, maybe when you're done,
490
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,648
you and Lark can go
out and ride bikes, huh?
491
00:20:41,673 --> 00:20:43,626
I don't know how to ride a bike.
492
00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,368
Yes.
493
00:20:46,493 --> 00:20:48,111
Maybe Lark can teach him.
494
00:20:48,979 --> 00:20:53,979
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -
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