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1
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In every group of
friends, there's always one guy
2
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,990
who can best be described as
the inappropriate one.
3
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,459
I call that guy a Barry.
4
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:31,997
A Barry says and does things
other people only think.
5
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:35,834
And he does not know the word
propriety.
6
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,669
There are all kinds of
Barrys.
7
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,371
Old Barrys...
8
00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:43,542
young Barrys...
9
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,213
and Barrys all over the world.
10
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:54,053
And that's me and my three
best friends when we were ten.
11
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,921
The one on the end,
that's our Barry.
12
00:00:55,923 --> 00:00:57,990
His name is Barry.
13
00:00:57,992 --> 00:01:00,259
Growing up we thought Barry
was hilarious.
14
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,894
He played pranks on girls,
15
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:04,196
he infuriated teachers
16
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,731
and we loved him for it.
17
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:07,399
But, as we've gotten older,
18
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:09,935
and started having careers,
wives, and families,
19
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,003
he's become an embarrassment,
20
00:01:11,005 --> 00:01:13,739
a detriment to our
livelihoods and reputations,
21
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,208
a social wrecking ball.
22
00:01:16,210 --> 00:01:18,043
I believe friendship
has no limits.
23
00:01:18,045 --> 00:01:20,879
At least I did...
until Barry went too far.
24
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:27,686
♪ ♪
25
00:02:14,100 --> 00:02:17,970
He never, um,
passed up a opportunity
26
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:20,172
to appreciate a moment.
27
00:02:20,174 --> 00:02:24,076
My, uh, dad had so many
great qualities.
28
00:02:24,078 --> 00:02:27,212
Um... he was loyal.
29
00:02:28,014 --> 00:02:30,849
He always put others
before himself.
30
00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:35,521
He made an indelible
impression on- on everyone:
31
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:38,924
my mom, my son JT,
and myself.
32
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:43,462
Especially during that tough
time after my wife passed away.
33
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,265
So for all these reasons
and uh...
34
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:48,667
really too many more to count...
35
00:02:49,469 --> 00:02:51,370
I'll miss you, Dad.
36
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,443
Thank you so much, Rafe.
37
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:00,946
Does anyone else
have any remembrances
38
00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:04,116
they'd like to honor
the deceased with?
39
00:03:04,118 --> 00:03:08,520
Just a simple anecdote or
memory to honor him by?
40
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:11,523
Really?
41
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,958
Oh, I should say something.
42
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,226
Hm?
- I should say something.
43
00:03:14,228 --> 00:03:15,961
No you should not.
- Yes, I should.
44
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,063
Rafe's dad is not getting
the tribute he deserves.
45
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,698
We gotta celebrate
the man's life.
46
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:21,133
I think it's fine.
It's fine.
47
00:03:21,135 --> 00:03:22,134
Next time, man.
48
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:23,268
Next time?
49
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,038
Barry.
- Anyone?
50
00:03:27,141 --> 00:03:28,207
Sir?
51
00:03:28,209 --> 00:03:31,643
Barry, have you thought about
what you're gonna say?
52
00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,212
Yeah, for years.
53
00:03:36,816 --> 00:03:37,849
No, no, no.
54
00:03:37,851 --> 00:03:39,785
Hey, hey, shh.
- No, no.
55
00:03:43,189 --> 00:03:44,323
Thank you.
56
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:47,092
I don't-
57
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:49,061
Hi, ev- hi- whoa...
58
00:03:49,063 --> 00:03:50,562
it's louder than I thought.
59
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:53,265
My name, for those of you
who don't know me,
60
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,334
is, uh, Barry Burke.
61
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:59,171
And, uh, I been friends
with Rafe, Kurt, and Desmond
62
00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:01,673
since we all went to camp
together in the fifth grade.
63
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,875
It was the best time of my life.
64
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,578
Our motto back then was,
"Pals forever,"
65
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,046
and it still is today.
66
00:04:08,048 --> 00:04:09,781
As a matter of fact,
the first time I met Rafe
67
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,216
he proved to me
what a great pal he was
68
00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:13,585
by pulling Suzy Henchey off me
69
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,587
when she tried to choke me
for kissing her.
70
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:16,922
Do you remember that?
71
00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,957
Her, uh, her reaction
pretty much set the trend
72
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,360
for my present romantic life.
73
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:22,561
It is not good.
74
00:04:23,864 --> 00:04:25,931
Uh, the point- the point is,
um,
75
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:28,133
I'd be remiss if I didn't say
a few words about his dad,
76
00:04:28,135 --> 00:04:30,135
because he was such a
special guy to-to all of us.
77
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,971
I remember the time
in sixth grade when he-
78
00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:35,574
he came to our school
and snuck us out of PE.
79
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,976
Took us to our first
porno flick.
80
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,945
I'll never forget that.
81
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,680
Kurt, you popped in your pants
right there in the theater.
82
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,916
Kurt the Squirt, that's where
that nickname came from.
83
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,251
That's interesting.
84
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:47,986
I remember thinking to myself,
85
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:49,755
"Jeez, Louise,
that is a lot of semen
86
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,156
for a ten-year old. "
87
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,292
I remember- I remember
we all had to clean it up.
88
00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:54,226
Didn't happen.
89
00:04:54,228 --> 00:04:56,061
Talk about leaving
an indelible mark.
90
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:57,996
I'll never forget that one.
91
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,097
I think maybe you should-
92
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:00,599
Yeah, yeah, and I remember
this other time
93
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,301
in the seventh grade
94
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,836
when he taught us how to
smoke the weed.
95
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:05,505
No, no, no.
96
00:05:05,506 --> 00:05:06,505
Remember that?
97
00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,173
Yeah, he taught us
how to roll it,
98
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:09,775
puff it, pass it.
99
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,743
He taught us how to smoke weed!
100
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,279
You- you got us so blazed, dude.
101
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:17,249
You got us so blazed,
you just- come here.
102
00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:18,817
Sir-
- Oh my God!
103
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,452
Photo-op, hang on,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
104
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,621
You're not supposed to touch
the body...
105
00:05:22,623 --> 00:05:27,159
And- and although he may have
had some honey on the side,
106
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,594
he loved you, Mrs. Griggs,
he loved you,
107
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:32,030
and I don't think there is
a single solitary soul
108
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,466
in this building
who doesn't know that.
109
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:40,172
Now, I could go on, and on,
and on about this...
110
00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:41,740
...fella, but I won't.
111
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,444
We're gonna raise a glass
for you tonight, Mr. Griggs,
112
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:48,447
'cause we all know how much
you like to get your drink on.
113
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,816
Boom.
114
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:52,684
Hope they serve up there
in heaven.
115
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,853
All right, peace, Space Cowboy.
116
00:05:57,358 --> 00:05:58,690
Why do you push me?
117
00:06:00,460 --> 00:06:01,893
Thank you, Mr. Burke.
118
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:03,195
That was...
119
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:08,233
Um, if we could all just move
to the reception area,
120
00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:13,238
um, very quickly,
just because I- we-
121
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,206
Come on.
122
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,007
What were you thinking Barry?
123
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,710
I thought everybody knew,
obviously.
124
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:21,413
No one knew,
least of all my mom.
125
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:25,717
It sounded do good in my head,
Rafe.
126
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,386
It sounded so regal.
- Regal?
127
00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,720
Everyone probably suspected it.
128
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,655
What does that mean?
- Uh, Barry-
129
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,691
Wha- it means that
everyone knows you're too busy
130
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,893
chasing around random skanks
to spend any time with your son.
131
00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,228
That is so not true.
132
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,329
Dad?
133
00:06:37,331 --> 00:06:39,064
Hey, buddy. You okay?
134
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,400
Are you sad 'cause-
'cause Grandpa died?
135
00:06:41,402 --> 00:06:44,102
I know, buddy.
It's, um, it's sad.
136
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,105
It's really just sad,
but, uh...
137
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,073
...do you know what?
138
00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:49,808
Just think of the good times
and stuff.
139
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:53,712
Hey, hey.
Hey, buddy.
140
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:54,913
Hi, Uncle Barry.
141
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,281
Not doin' to good, huh?
142
00:06:56,283 --> 00:06:57,616
No, me neither.
143
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,418
Do you remember
how you and your grandpa
144
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:00,685
used to get ice cream
every Sunday?
145
00:07:00,687 --> 00:07:01,920
Yeah. Uh-huh.
- Yeah?
146
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,255
Do you want to honor him?
- Yeah!
147
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,456
Well hot dog!
Let's honor the man!
148
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:06,191
What are we doin' sitting here?
149
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,626
Meet me over at the dessert
tray in two minutes.
150
00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:08,527
We'll see who can scarf back
151
00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,295
three chocolate chip cookies
faster.
152
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:11,596
My money's on me, Short Stack.
All right?
153
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:12,964
Oh, and then- and then-
154
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:15,033
and then we're gonna put some
crumbs in Uncle Dan's jacket
155
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:16,535
because Uncle Dan
is a you know what.
156
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,203
Scrotum.
- Total scrote-bag.
157
00:07:18,205 --> 00:07:21,373
Now go ahead and swing outta
here, you little monkey.
158
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,074
Wow, man, he really loves you,
Barry.
159
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,709
Yeah, you just gotta
make it fun, man, you know?
160
00:07:24,711 --> 00:07:25,644
It's not that hard.
161
00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:26,878
Rafe, you know,
you should go with him.
162
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,980
Yeah, I should.
I'll do that.
163
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,148
Uh, later.
164
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:31,750
Excuse me. I never got a chance
to thank you.
165
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,785
You run a lovely funeral, and-
166
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,487
You guys are giving me shit?
167
00:07:35,489 --> 00:07:37,889
He's trying to get laid
at his dad's funeral.
168
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:38,723
Oh.
169
00:07:38,725 --> 00:07:41,293
It's about the pitch.
I gotta take it.
170
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:43,762
Let's go.
My feet are killing me.
171
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,330
Okay, well, maybe just
one moment longer,
172
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,131
you know, for Rafe,
173
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:47,599
because it's a big day for him.
174
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,734
Well, it's not like we can
do anything for him.
175
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,303
His dad's already dead.
176
00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:54,473
I just- I'll give you
another foot massage.
177
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,608
Whatevs.
Just find me when you're ready.
178
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,310
Alright, I love you-
179
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:05,984
Oh.
180
00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:10,589
You gotta break up with her,
man.
181
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:11,290
What?
182
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:12,324
You gotta break up with her.
183
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:15,126
Are you on drugs?
- No.
184
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,194
She walks all over you.
185
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,496
You- you- you-
you're just too blind to see it
186
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:18,997
because you're in shock
that she talks to you,
187
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,365
let alone actually dates you.
188
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,334
Okay, n- news flash, uh,
189
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:23,435
Desmond and Rafe love her.
190
00:08:23,437 --> 00:08:24,636
No they don't.
- Yeah, they do.
191
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:25,504
No, they don't like her either.
192
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:26,471
They're just too afraid
to tell you.
193
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,707
You deserve better than her.
She's mean.
194
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:30,308
She's manipulating you
with that kiss.
195
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,377
Don't you see that?
I mean, yeah...
196
00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,146
any guy would gladly get up
to his nuts in her guts, okay?
197
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,314
That's not in dispute here,
okay?
198
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,617
he problem is she's a twunt.
199
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,851
It's a new term I'm using.
200
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,054
It's a combo of two words.
Guess which two.
201
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:44,322
Twitter?
- Twat and cunt.
202
00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,290
Ah!
203
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,491
Yeah.
Would you prefer cwat?
204
00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:47,492
The terms are
interchangeable.
205
00:08:47,494 --> 00:08:50,228
She's not a twunt or a cwat.
- She's both.
206
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,363
No.
207
00:08:51,365 --> 00:08:52,531
She's the one.
208
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,466
She's the one.
209
00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:57,502
Oh, oh...
210
00:08:57,504 --> 00:08:59,070
...oh...
211
00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:00,805
I did it again, didn't I?
- Yeah.
212
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,475
I'm kidding- I was kidding
about her being a twunt, man.
213
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:05,877
And about her looking like
an eastern European porn star.
214
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:08,580
You didn't say anything about her looking
like an eastern European porn star.
215
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,315
Oh, not around you, no.
216
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:14,386
Okay, you look like...
a western European porn star.
217
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:16,821
That's what I'm shooting for.
218
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,823
You're the cwunt now, dawg.
219
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:19,691
What?
220
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:21,059
Peace.
221
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:24,329
Cwunt's not even a word,
Kurt!
222
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,699
Hey JT.
223
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:29,434
Let's get to those cookies,
huh?
224
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,504
Oh, man, I feel so bad
about what I did to Rafe.
225
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:33,238
It's the only thing
I can think about.
226
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:37,409
Man, you work with a lot of
pretty ladies, don't you?
227
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:39,411
Barry, look, I know you need
somebody to talk to right now,
228
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,112
but you can't just
drop by my office
229
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:42,547
whenever you feel like it,
okay?
230
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,215
Yeah, yeah, uh...
- This is an important time.
231
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,450
We're in the last run
of this pitch.
232
00:09:45,452 --> 00:09:46,785
I'm up for creative director.
233
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:47,852
Are you listening?
234
00:09:47,854 --> 00:09:49,120
Yeah.
- Well then-
235
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,422
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
236
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,823
Who is the cutey-pie?
237
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:52,924
Yeah, that's the, uh,
238
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,459
that's the account planner
I was telling you about.
239
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:55,460
That's her?
240
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,628
I'd hate being around that
all day.
241
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,129
You'd get horny enough
to go home and screw your wife
242
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:59,497
every once in a while.
243
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,634
Excuse me, but Rach and I
have plenty of sex.
244
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,102
Oh, you do?
I- I didn't know that.
245
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,705
When was the last time
you had intercourse?
246
00:10:08,874 --> 00:10:09,874
Um...
247
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,710
My point exactly, Desmond.
248
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,079
Can I- Can I be totally blunt
with you for a sec?
249
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,413
Can you not be blunt?
- I don't think so.
250
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:18,149
I tried one time.
I had a migraine for three days.
251
00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,318
Your marriage is not
your only problem, okay?
252
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,486
Whatever happened
to high school Desmond?
253
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:22,921
He was fun!
254
00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,489
He, like, smoked pot
every once in a while,
255
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:26,458
play the keys, hang out.
256
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:30,128
Now you're like this
unrecognizable workaholic robot.
257
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:31,563
You won't even go out
for lunch with me.
258
00:10:31,565 --> 00:10:32,897
Fine.
259
00:10:32,899 --> 00:10:34,299
We'll get lunch, okay?
260
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,634
Just let me finish
these storyboards.
261
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,602
Oh, yeah, of course.
All about the work.
262
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,738
Because if we land this
account, dude,
263
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,574
it'll be a total game-changer,
you know what I mean?
264
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,176
Barry?
265
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,183
Good morning.
266
00:10:54,687 --> 00:10:56,755
Oh, come on.
Oh my God.
267
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,160
Oh.
268
00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,663
That is a bad combo.
- What's that?
269
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:07,165
Lox and sausages...
loxages.
270
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,366
Yeah, that's a lot of meat.
271
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:09,501
Yeah, don't do it.
- No.
272
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:11,302
How do you get any work done
around here?
273
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,104
Half way to Bonerville.
274
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,339
Where's Bonerville?
275
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,441
In my pants.
I'm fighting a semi right now.
276
00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,176
A semi?
- Semi hard on.
277
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,111
I'm half mast from looking at
all this talent around here.
278
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,614
Yeah, well advertising
does attract
279
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:23,682
a lot of good-looking women,
so.
280
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:24,649
Do you work here?
281
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,518
Actually, I, uh,
I own the agency.
282
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,552
What?!
- Yeah.
283
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:29,521
Nice moves, man.
284
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,289
Oh, look at that.
It's boner o'clock.
285
00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,991
Barry, what are you doing?
Bill, I'm sorry.
286
00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:35,460
No, no, he-
he's cracking' me up.
287
00:11:35,462 --> 00:11:36,394
Yeah.
- What?
288
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:37,495
Yes. I was cracking him up.
289
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,963
Just telling him
about how these women here
290
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,365
are giving me a Woodrow Wilson.
291
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,834
Especially that cute brunette
account planner he pointed out.
292
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,570
So, uh, Bill,
the pitch is going great.
293
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,272
No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, go ahead.
294
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,808
I don't know
what you're talking about.
295
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,210
Looka-looka-looka,
there she is right there.
296
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,012
What are you- that one! Her!
297
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,680
Desmond was telling me
that back when he used to
298
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:56,848
actually have sex
with his wife,
299
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,717
he used to imagine her instead.
300
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:00,485
She was his closer,
you know what I mean?
301
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:01,753
And Bill, don't lie to me.
302
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:03,588
I know you've done
the exact same thing.
303
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:04,589
I bet you I haven't.
304
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:05,757
Why, because you got ED?
305
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:06,658
No...
306
00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:07,726
because she's my daughter.
307
00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:13,565
You made her?
308
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:14,365
Mm-hmm.
309
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,600
Des, I'm- I'm- I'm sorry.
310
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,402
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
311
00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,703
Seven years I put in here,
Barry!
312
00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:20,672
I know, listen, I- I- I don't
want you to sweat it, okay?
313
00:12:20,674 --> 00:12:21,740
I'm gonna go back in
and I'm gonna talk to your boss.
314
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:22,841
I'm gonna sort
the whole thing out.
315
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,576
Don't!
You've done enough.
316
00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,148
♪ ♪
317
00:12:31,717 --> 00:12:33,752
Des, I need a ride!
- Fuck you!
318
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:35,887
Ah, yeah.
319
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:38,223
Kurt, it's Barry, I, uh...
320
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:39,524
I feel terrible.
321
00:12:39,526 --> 00:12:42,627
Um, I got Desmond fired today
and I- I'm outside your house.
322
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,062
I really need to talk
to somebody.
323
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,698
So, uh, I'm just gonna wait here
for you, all right?
324
00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:47,266
Um...
325
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,734
...actually I- I remember
where you keep your key.
326
00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,402
I think I'm just gonna
let myself in.
327
00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,037
So, um, I- I'll see you
when you get here.
328
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,572
Okay, thanks, Bud.
329
00:12:58,577 --> 00:13:00,111
Yes.
330
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:04,649
♪ ♪
331
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:08,686
What?
332
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:11,189
Okay.
333
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:15,960
What is this?
334
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:35,680
That was fun.
Mm-hmm.
335
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:37,448
You look so pretty tonight.
336
00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,683
Oh, you keep saying that.
337
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:39,918
Well it's true, you do!
338
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,452
Oh!
339
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,921
I got it.
Mmm.
340
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:43,955
Thanks.
341
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,857
That was a really good
restaurant, huh?
342
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:47,325
Eh.
343
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,594
What? It's rated one of the best
in the city.
344
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,829
Really?
It didn't seem like it.
345
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:51,930
Well, it is.
346
00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,832
Why are you being
so sweet tonight?
347
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,700
'Cause I have a surprise
for you.
348
00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:58,269
What kind of surprise?
- You'll see.
349
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,606
Oh!
- Oh!
350
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,274
Oh!
Ah!
351
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,777
This is not the surprise
I was talking about.
352
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,779
I'm really sorry about this.
353
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:09,781
No.
354
00:14:11,218 --> 00:14:13,284
I'm not gonna lie...
355
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,619
...this is exactly
what it looks like.
356
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:15,787
Okay, put it away.
357
00:14:15,789 --> 00:14:16,688
Okay.
- Whoa.
358
00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,056
You know what, guys?
I- I am sorry.
359
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,325
Bring it on in for a hug?
- Uh-uh.
360
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,492
Go.
361
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,494
No, no, you can't hug me, no!
362
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:24,796
Oh!
363
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,197
You mean he still had a-
- Boner!
364
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,833
Oh!
- A raging boner.
365
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:30,702
So it was less of a hug
and more of a dry hump.
366
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:33,738
He was practically inside
of her, for crying out loud.
367
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,807
So she dumped me, naturally.
368
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,642
She said if I'm still friends
with Barry,
369
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:39,644
I'm practically as juvenile
as he is.
370
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:40,678
Sorry, bud.
371
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:41,880
It doesn't matter anymore.
372
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:43,681
Guys, I know we've been
friends with Barry
373
00:14:43,683 --> 00:14:47,185
since before we hit puberty,
but, um...
374
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,653
I'm over it.
375
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:49,754
I am over it.
376
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,689
I mean the dude's heart's
in the right place,
377
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,992
but, let's face it, man,
he is a menace.
378
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,094
I mean when we were kids
it was great,
379
00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:57,362
yeah, it was fun.
380
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,763
We're adults now.
381
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,331
We're trying to have families
382
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,334
and careers
and relationships, Kurt,
383
00:15:03,336 --> 00:15:05,837
and Barry's making that
impossible.
384
00:15:06,872 --> 00:15:08,907
It's his Barryisms.
- What are you sayin'?
385
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,209
I'm saying that
we'll always love the guy,
386
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,778
but... we cannot live
with him anymore.
387
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,613
Yeah, but I mean...
388
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,181
Barry's always there for us.
389
00:15:17,183 --> 00:15:18,616
Yeah, that's the problem.
390
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,119
He's always there
screwing everything up.
391
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,121
He's a real ragamuffin.
392
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,191
What if we were to
get rid of him?
393
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,761
Okay...
394
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,696
I think I get
what you're saying.
395
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:33,865
I just wanna clarify
something.
396
00:15:33,867 --> 00:15:35,934
I can't kill someone.
397
00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:37,869
I can't. But I wanna help.
398
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:39,137
I'll dig the...
399
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:42,073
I'll dig it.
I don't want to, but I'll do it.
400
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:43,808
We're not talking about
murdering him, Hurt.
401
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:44,876
That's not on the table.
- I knew that.
402
00:15:44,878 --> 00:15:47,578
Everyone was- was hashing it-
it out.
403
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,713
So what, do you want to
disown him?
404
00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:49,914
No, no, that wouldn't work.
405
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,050
He'd just keep coming back
like a zombie or something.
406
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:52,951
So, like an intervention?
407
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:54,319
No. He'd relapse.
408
00:15:55,254 --> 00:15:57,588
No, dude, this- this- this
requires something
409
00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,324
far more stealthy,
410
00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:03,895
I'm talking about
making someone else...
411
00:16:03,897 --> 00:16:05,530
...deal with him.
412
00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:08,099
Okay. All right.
413
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:11,069
So we, uh, we hire someone else
to whack him.
414
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:13,805
That way we're not even
connected to the murder.
415
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,107
We're gettin' away hands clean.
416
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,809
We go down to Mexico, chill out,
417
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,677
drinkin', smokin' weed.
418
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,513
I maybe get addicted
to heroin, but that's cool.
419
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:25,283
I'm not talking about
whacking him, Ray Liotta.
420
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:28,820
Obviously.
421
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,656
See, what we need isn't someone
who can put up with Barry,
422
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:34,192
what we need is someone
who has to put up with Barry.
423
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,960
The type of person
who has to put up with
424
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:39,464
a never-ending stream
of infantile behavior
425
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,765
twenty-four hours a day,
426
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,768
seven days a week
for their entire life.
427
00:16:43,770 --> 00:16:44,769
A therapist?
428
00:16:44,771 --> 00:16:46,170
A wife. -
Wife. - A wife!
429
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,206
Yeah, pop-pop-pop!
430
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,141
Yeah!
- Yeah!
431
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,809
You were locked in a closet
as a kid.
432
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:53,945
I mean he's always talkin' about
he wants to meet someone
433
00:16:53,947 --> 00:16:54,779
anyway, right?
434
00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:55,847
We'd just be doing him a favor.
435
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,148
I like it.
436
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,716
Scratch that,
I love it.
437
00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,284
I don't know, guys.
I mean, I need him.
438
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,352
What are you talking' about,
Rafe?
439
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:03,988
I mean he babysits JT
every Saturday night.
440
00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,323
That's my prime date night.
441
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:06,657
In fact, he's with him right now
442
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:08,726
so I can go meet
the funeral director at nine.
443
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:10,128
Yes, that's happening.
444
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:11,162
Hand over fist.
- Don't catch it.
445
00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,997
It's hand over fist.
- No, make a fist.
446
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,465
I don't like that.
- Yeah.
447
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,000
Lemme ask you a question,
Rafe.
448
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:19,504
When, um Barry's babysitting JT
449
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,039
what exactly do they do?
450
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,840
I don't know.
They have a blast, though.
451
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:24,976
They play video games,
watch movies.
452
00:17:24,978 --> 00:17:27,145
Well, uh, looks like Barry
just posted
453
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,646
what they're actually doing.
454
00:17:29,748 --> 00:17:31,883
Okay, kid, throw,
throw, throw, throw.
455
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,418
Go! Run, run, run, run,
run, run!
456
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,119
Holy shit!
457
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:36,821
Let's marry off
this fucker.
458
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:39,557
Why are you guys so keen on
finding me a girlfriend
459
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:40,324
all of a sudden?
460
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,260
Pals forever, remember?
- Yeah.
461
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:43,528
Just want you to be happy.
462
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:44,695
Yeah, man, plus
you're such a catch
463
00:17:44,697 --> 00:17:46,364
it's a total mystery
how you're still single.
464
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,932
It's true.
- No, I don't know about that.
465
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:49,500
Listen, guys, I promise you,
466
00:17:49,502 --> 00:17:51,702
I'm gonna put my best foot
forward today, okay?
467
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:52,537
Cool, man.
468
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,339
Bring on the vagina.
Huh! Huh!
469
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:57,909
All right.
470
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:04,282
Okay everyone,
let's have a seat!
471
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,883
Hi.
Hi, I'm Leslie.
472
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,185
Hi, I'm Barry.
- Hi.
473
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,753
Hi.
474
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:09,954
Next!
475
00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,289
Excuse me?
- Next.
476
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,524
Barry, that's not how
speed dating works.
477
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:14,926
I'm not feelin' it with her.
478
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,394
Are you kidding me?
Is he kidding me?
479
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:19,130
Listen, no matter what
you're feeling-
480
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:21,032
I'm not feeling anything.
That's the problem.
481
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:23,968
You're- you're beautiful,
we're just, you know,
482
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:25,269
we don't have... it.
483
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,637
You have to wait
until they ring the bell.
484
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,941
The bell? I gotta talk to her
for the whole five minutes?
485
00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:30,642
Yeah.
486
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:31,642
I'm sitting across from you.
487
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,277
I hear the words coming out
of your mouth.
488
00:18:33,279 --> 00:18:35,379
Look, if it's any consolation,
he's always like this.
489
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:37,048
Yeah.
- Nice shirt.
490
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:38,416
Do not- hey!
491
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:39,717
Do not make fun
of my friends.
492
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,885
Fuck you!
- What? I-
493
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:43,454
What did I do?
I have to live with this!
494
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,223
Quite the mouth on her.
495
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,991
She's got some anger issues.
496
00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:50,261
Barry, Barry. Listen to me
very carefully, all right?
497
00:18:50,263 --> 00:18:53,064
When you meet these women,
whatever comes to your mind...
498
00:18:53,066 --> 00:18:54,765
Yeah?
- ... say the opposite.
499
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:55,967
Got it.
500
00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:57,768
Ah, yeah, backwards town.
Got it.
501
00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,971
Yeah, yeah,
that looks super real.
502
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:03,074
That shirt does not
give off the impression
503
00:19:03,076 --> 00:19:04,976
that you own several stray dogs.
504
00:19:05,512 --> 00:19:09,280
Jesus Christ!
You scared the shit outta me.
505
00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,182
I mean, uh...
506
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:15,520
You do not look like a cutter
at all.
507
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,488
It's even harder
than we thought.
508
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,991
It's time to bring out
the big guns.
509
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:22,627
So, Mister Goker,
510
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,629
how does this exactly, um,
work?
511
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:26,998
Well, the brides obviously
don't come in the mail,
512
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,935
but, uh, they do come in
a very small crate on a boat,
513
00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:35,206
and we, of course, make sure
to poke the holes in the box
514
00:19:35,208 --> 00:19:37,008
so they can breathe.
515
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:39,510
Keep it human.
516
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:40,511
Oh...
517
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,882
I'm kidding!
518
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,184
We don't put 'em in a box!
519
00:19:46,186 --> 00:19:48,052
What are we, monsters? No!
520
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:50,588
Just a very small,
dangerous boat.
521
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,224
So I guess you're the man
with all the bitches.
522
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,992
Okay... bitch?
523
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:57,328
Okay, I gotta ask you guys
a question right now.
524
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,197
Do you, uh...
525
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,132
...do you guys hate women?
526
00:20:01,134 --> 00:20:02,833
No, I love women.
527
00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,702
Because I don't sell women
528
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:07,872
to men who hate women.
529
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:10,074
We do not sell bitches!
530
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:11,342
If we did,
531
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:15,012
it'd be called
Goker's Mail Order Bitches!
532
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:18,716
Not Goker's Mail Order Brides!
533
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:20,084
Okay?
534
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:23,721
Uh, yeah, it was- it was just
a slang term, you know.
535
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,158
I'm just gonna put it out there.
536
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:31,195
Um, I'm not- I'm not- I'm not
actually looking,
537
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:32,096
is that okay?
538
00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,030
Yeah.
539
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,365
I am not looking
to marry anybody,
540
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,566
maybe just a girlfriend.
541
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:38,102
Unless she's like super,
super-duper cool,
542
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:38,869
then maybe.
543
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:42,240
Look, let me make something
very clear here, all right?
544
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:44,442
Here at Goker's we are not
just about business.
545
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,578
First and foremost,
we are about love,
546
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,382
passion, romance, fucking,
okay?
547
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:54,518
Hot fuck action at a
really reasonable price.
548
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,454
Hot flippin' and flappin'
549
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:59,223
smackin' ass cracks together,
all right?
550
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,192
You ever- you ever slam
your ass crack
551
00:21:01,194 --> 00:21:02,893
against a women's ass crack?
552
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:04,929
It rivals penetration, guys.
553
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,197
I know you don't believe me,
554
00:21:06,199 --> 00:21:08,299
but you're gonna be able to
try it with one of these women
555
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:10,735
and find me right.
556
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:14,939
So, just to be clear, here,
on your old, uh, application.
557
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:18,109
Now your name is Barry Burke,
your favorite food is fried,
558
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,910
your favorite book
is the novelization
559
00:21:19,912 --> 00:21:21,779
of the Bill Murray classic
"Stripes,"
560
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,214
it's one of my favorite books.
561
00:21:23,216 --> 00:21:24,949
I did not care for the movie.
562
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:27,485
And you live off a settlement
you got from the city
563
00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:30,488
for walking into
an exposed manhole.
564
00:21:30,490 --> 00:21:34,225
Yeah, I actually, I removed
that manhole cover myself
565
00:21:34,227 --> 00:21:36,594
and then intentionally
walked into said manhole,
566
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,829
but that is- that is neither
here nor there.
567
00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:41,399
Oh, no, no, that is both
here and there, my friend.
568
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:44,068
That is genius.
- I'm a geniu-
569
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,303
Can you say that to them,
please?
570
00:21:45,305 --> 00:21:47,638
All right, Barry...
571
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,173
Prepare to meet...
572
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:52,009
the new love of your life...
573
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:53,077
Juanita.
574
00:21:53,079 --> 00:21:54,945
Oh, wow.
- Wow.
575
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:57,081
Oh my God, she's beautiful.
576
00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:57,915
Schwing!
577
00:21:57,917 --> 00:22:02,320
Her village has been
completely ravaged by disease,
578
00:22:02,322 --> 00:22:03,654
flood, famine, and rebels,
579
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,956
so she is very open
to meeting
580
00:22:05,958 --> 00:22:08,592
gentlemanly, successful
American men.
581
00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:11,796
Okay, well how about
a not-so-gentlemanly,
582
00:22:11,798 --> 00:22:13,597
not-so-successful American man?
583
00:22:13,599 --> 00:22:14,632
Are you kidding me?
584
00:22:14,634 --> 00:22:16,967
She'd marry a raccoon
with an extended asshole
585
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:19,003
if it got her out of her
fucking village.
586
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,137
She's gonna love you, man.
587
00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:26,677
So, how was your plane flight?
588
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,280
Oh, uh, da plane.
589
00:22:30,382 --> 00:22:33,317
Da plane? Bzzzzzz.
590
00:22:33,319 --> 00:22:34,352
Whoosh.
591
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:38,356
Muy bueno? Good.
Good, good, good.
592
00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,223
That's good.
593
00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:42,860
Probably not a lot of planes
where you come from, huh?
594
00:22:42,862 --> 00:22:44,995
Is there not a lot of planes
where you come from?
595
00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:47,231
Cars either?
Probably not a lot of cars.
596
00:22:47,233 --> 00:22:49,800
What do you- what do you use
to get around, a donkey?
597
00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:51,102
Do you ride a donkey?
598
00:22:52,137 --> 00:22:54,071
Yeah, a donkey's probably
safer anyway, you know,
599
00:22:54,073 --> 00:22:55,840
because I bet you like to
throw back the cervezas.
600
00:22:55,842 --> 00:22:57,074
Mmm, cervezas.
601
00:22:57,076 --> 00:22:58,409
Cervezas, yeah.
602
00:22:58,411 --> 00:23:00,077
Tequila!
603
00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:05,316
I was hoping that we could
make it a little physical
604
00:23:05,318 --> 00:23:07,184
because I notice
you carry a...
605
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,720
formidable amount of junk
in your trunk.
606
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,088
Junk in trunk?
607
00:23:11,090 --> 00:23:12,323
Face it, guys,
it's over.
608
00:23:12,325 --> 00:23:14,225
We'll never find him a wife.
609
00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:17,228
Let's go. I wanna meet up with
that funeral director, anyway.
610
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:23,868
So, you work
at the parks department?
611
00:23:23,870 --> 00:23:26,504
Yeah, I am director of events.
612
00:23:26,506 --> 00:23:28,105
Wow.
- Yeah.
613
00:23:28,107 --> 00:23:29,607
What a cool job.
- It is. It's really cool.
614
00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:33,110
We do concerts
and Shakespeare in the Park.
615
00:23:33,112 --> 00:23:34,445
I go to that.
- You do?
616
00:23:34,447 --> 00:23:35,546
I love that.
617
00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:37,715
Oh. I- I have to work
a lot of weekend nights,
618
00:23:37,717 --> 00:23:38,949
but it's fine.
619
00:23:38,951 --> 00:23:40,418
I love it, so, yeah.
620
00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:42,219
I don't wanna freak you out,
621
00:23:42,221 --> 00:23:44,855
'cause this is obviously
our first date,
622
00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:47,491
but you're the total package.
623
00:23:48,561 --> 00:23:54,298
Well, yeah, I mean your online
profile was nice and charming
624
00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:57,268
and the picture is beautiful
but in person
625
00:23:57,270 --> 00:23:58,636
you're just like...
626
00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:01,439
...radiant.
627
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:02,873
Oh, um...
628
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:04,375
I think you're pretty great,
too.
629
00:24:04,377 --> 00:24:08,412
I like to take things slowly,
if that's all right.
630
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:10,281
Yes. Couldn't agree more.
631
00:24:10,283 --> 00:24:13,284
I like to take things slow
myself.
632
00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:15,453
I- I- I didn't think you were
that type of girl.
633
00:24:17,088 --> 00:24:18,289
What type of girl?
634
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:20,758
Someone who'd just jump
in the sack on the first date,
635
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,926
or whatever.
636
00:24:24,262 --> 00:24:27,798
I- I- I am that type of girl.
637
00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:28,500
I am.
638
00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:29,467
Oh, really?
- Yeah.
639
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:30,768
Yeah, right.
640
00:24:30,770 --> 00:24:31,735
We'd probably
be fucking right now
641
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,305
if it wasn't for my
situation...
642
00:24:35,273 --> 00:24:36,474
...below deck.
643
00:24:37,742 --> 00:24:39,410
I'll go ahead
and give you a hint.
644
00:24:39,412 --> 00:24:42,746
It rhymes with beast inspection.
645
00:24:43,516 --> 00:24:46,617
I think I know, yeah,
I think I know what you mean.
646
00:24:46,619 --> 00:24:50,354
Okay, it's not itchy anymore,
but um...
647
00:24:50,356 --> 00:24:52,256
it just probably doesn't
smell very good.
648
00:24:52,258 --> 00:24:53,791
Anyway-
649
00:24:53,793 --> 00:24:55,326
So, what kind of music
do you like?
650
00:24:55,328 --> 00:24:56,861
I'm mostly into reggae and dub.
651
00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:59,463
Dub, ska, dancehall.
652
00:24:59,465 --> 00:25:00,798
My favorite food is fried.
653
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:01,966
Italian and Mexican.
654
00:25:01,968 --> 00:25:03,701
And Mexican.
655
00:25:03,703 --> 00:25:05,769
Also Italian and Japanese.
656
00:25:05,771 --> 00:25:08,172
Oh, I am a sushi slut.
657
00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:10,107
And how does that
manifest itself?
658
00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:11,442
I'm a whore for sushi.
659
00:25:11,444 --> 00:25:13,444
Uh... also...
660
00:25:13,446 --> 00:25:16,947
...wow, I can't believe
you ate that all in one bite.
661
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:19,149
You're like a boa constrictor.
662
00:25:19,151 --> 00:25:20,451
Ah!
663
00:25:20,453 --> 00:25:21,485
I'm gonna be straight with you.
664
00:25:21,487 --> 00:25:24,288
You're breasts were a lot bigger
in the photo.
665
00:25:24,290 --> 00:25:26,724
In your photo, you looked
a lot taller.
666
00:25:26,726 --> 00:25:27,958
You had more neck.
667
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,660
It was a- like a headshot.
668
00:25:29,662 --> 00:25:31,161
You had less teeth.
669
00:25:31,163 --> 00:25:34,865
And, uh, you looked a lot
more third-worldy...
670
00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,400
Mexicany.
671
00:25:37,335 --> 00:25:39,370
You've got hair plugs.
672
00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:41,038
And I don't mind... much.
673
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,474
It is not that I find you
unattractive...
674
00:25:43,476 --> 00:25:44,475
...at all.
675
00:25:44,477 --> 00:25:45,709
It's just...
676
00:25:46,311 --> 00:25:47,378
...false advertising.
677
00:25:47,380 --> 00:25:49,813
But it's false advertising.
678
00:25:49,815 --> 00:25:52,583
You have rendered me
completely speechless.
679
00:25:52,585 --> 00:25:53,684
Thank you.
680
00:25:53,686 --> 00:25:56,053
All I can say is wow.
681
00:25:56,055 --> 00:25:57,855
I get that a lot.
682
00:25:57,857 --> 00:25:59,490
Will you excuse me for a second?
683
00:25:59,492 --> 00:26:03,661
I need to shit like that
every time I eat bacon.
684
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:04,995
It's the middle of dinner.
685
00:26:04,997 --> 00:26:07,831
I'm- I'm not gonna go
take a... shit.
686
00:26:07,833 --> 00:26:09,333
Are you gonna have a piss?
687
00:26:09,335 --> 00:26:11,402
Uh, well since you asked, um,
688
00:26:11,404 --> 00:26:15,039
some urine might actually
exit my penis.
689
00:26:15,041 --> 00:26:17,374
I wasn't going to say that.
690
00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:19,777
I felt like it was implied
when I said, "Excuse me. "
691
00:26:19,779 --> 00:26:22,212
Just wash your hands
'cause dick hands,
692
00:26:22,214 --> 00:26:23,981
it's just gross.
693
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,618
And be quick 'cause I really
need to shit.
694
00:26:27,620 --> 00:26:29,420
Okay, I'm gonna go shit.
- Okay.
695
00:26:35,694 --> 00:26:36,727
El ban- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
696
00:26:36,729 --> 00:26:39,463
You gotta make a fiesta
in el baño, no problem.
697
00:26:39,465 --> 00:26:41,632
Yeah, yeah, poo party.
698
00:26:48,940 --> 00:26:51,542
Oh, excuse me,
I'm actually not in line.
699
00:26:51,544 --> 00:26:54,378
Just... wishing I were dead.
700
00:26:54,380 --> 00:26:56,146
Um...
701
00:26:56,148 --> 00:26:58,983
Oh, um...
702
00:27:17,602 --> 00:27:20,337
Si.
703
00:27:31,584 --> 00:27:34,418
♪ ♪
704
00:27:48,933 --> 00:27:51,769
Excuse me... If- if you're
waiting for a cab...
705
00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:52,670
I was here first.
706
00:27:52,672 --> 00:27:54,171
Yeah, you got it.
No problem.
707
00:27:57,142 --> 00:27:58,542
Here we go.
- Hey!
708
00:27:58,544 --> 00:28:00,110
Excuse me, ladies first.
709
00:28:00,112 --> 00:28:01,812
A lady? Yeah, I'll tell you
if I see one.
710
00:28:01,814 --> 00:28:03,113
Really?
711
00:28:03,115 --> 00:28:04,148
Get off!
712
00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:06,550
Excuse me.
713
00:28:09,054 --> 00:28:10,888
Are you kidding me?!
714
00:28:10,890 --> 00:28:12,723
You're kidding me!
715
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:14,958
Unbelievable.
716
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:15,993
Alright, folks,
where to?
717
00:28:19,631 --> 00:28:20,898
Aah!
718
00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,534
I guess we're neighbors.
- I guess so. Yippee.
719
00:28:23,536 --> 00:28:25,002
The joy.
720
00:28:25,004 --> 00:28:26,403
I can't wait to run into you.
721
00:28:26,405 --> 00:28:27,471
Yeah, me neither.
722
00:28:27,473 --> 00:28:28,972
It's still the best part of
the neighborhood,
723
00:28:28,974 --> 00:28:31,108
minus the gentrification.
- Except for the gentrification.
724
00:28:35,213 --> 00:28:36,647
Hey, could you
drop me off first?
725
00:28:36,649 --> 00:28:37,981
Really?
726
00:28:38,683 --> 00:28:39,817
Did you fart?
727
00:28:39,819 --> 00:28:42,086
No. I've been trying.
728
00:28:42,088 --> 00:28:43,587
Yeah, 'cause I farted
right when we got in
729
00:28:43,589 --> 00:28:44,988
and that is not my brand.
730
00:28:46,157 --> 00:28:48,258
It's pathetic.
I can't smell anything.
731
00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:49,927
What, you don't have
a sense of smell you mean?
732
00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:51,595
It's just a terrible fart.
733
00:28:51,597 --> 00:28:53,731
Oh, you're calling my fart
pathetic?
734
00:28:53,733 --> 00:28:54,565
Yes.
735
00:28:55,500 --> 00:28:57,434
Well, we're dealing
with a new issue here.
736
00:28:57,436 --> 00:28:59,603
The issue is that you
apparently have gas
737
00:28:59,605 --> 00:29:00,537
and it's gonna come out
738
00:29:00,539 --> 00:29:02,272
at some point
during this cab ride.
739
00:29:02,274 --> 00:29:04,074
Trust me, I hope so.
740
00:29:08,413 --> 00:29:09,847
Nothing.
741
00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:15,619
It's called the way there.
742
00:29:17,723 --> 00:29:19,389
Assholes.
- Hey what?
743
00:29:19,391 --> 00:29:20,758
Watch it, you wanker.
744
00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:22,459
Eat my dick, you fuck face.
745
00:29:22,461 --> 00:29:24,294
Fuck mouth.
- Paying customer!
746
00:29:24,296 --> 00:29:25,462
Fucking cock breath.
747
00:29:25,464 --> 00:29:27,431
Cock breath...
748
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:29,166
Oh, that's impressive.
749
00:29:29,768 --> 00:29:31,435
Oh, thanks, you too.
750
00:29:31,437 --> 00:29:32,536
Thank you.
751
00:29:32,538 --> 00:29:33,971
My friends would disagree
752
00:29:33,973 --> 00:29:36,373
and they think my mouth
is my biggest problem.
753
00:29:39,644 --> 00:29:42,146
I think its fine, you just have-
you just have thin lips.
754
00:29:42,148 --> 00:29:43,480
No- not-
755
00:29:43,482 --> 00:29:45,616
No, wha- the things I say,
not what my lips look like, no.
756
00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:47,084
Oh, oh, right.
757
00:29:47,086 --> 00:29:48,285
I know I have thin lips.
758
00:29:48,287 --> 00:29:50,354
It's- it's the bane
of my existence.
759
00:29:51,724 --> 00:29:56,093
Loads of guys have dumped me
because they're embarrassed.
760
00:29:56,095 --> 00:29:57,761
I don't know.
- Oh, dicks.
761
00:29:57,763 --> 00:29:58,662
I don't care.
762
00:29:59,731 --> 00:30:01,799
It's my roommate,
she's always trying to set me up
763
00:30:01,801 --> 00:30:03,267
and find me a husband.
764
00:30:03,269 --> 00:30:04,468
No, tell me about it.
765
00:30:04,470 --> 00:30:07,137
My- my friends just bought me
a wife.
766
00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:08,772
They bought-?
767
00:30:08,774 --> 00:30:10,674
They bought me a wife,
like out of the blue.
768
00:30:10,676 --> 00:30:12,109
So, you're married?
769
00:30:12,111 --> 00:30:14,311
N- no, may- maybe.
770
00:30:14,313 --> 00:30:15,612
I don't know.
771
00:30:15,614 --> 00:30:17,314
I- I don't think
it was legally binding.
772
00:30:17,316 --> 00:30:18,148
I'm not sure.
773
00:30:18,150 --> 00:30:19,650
I- I'll have to check
on that one.
774
00:30:22,086 --> 00:30:23,754
What do you do?
775
00:30:23,756 --> 00:30:25,756
Um, I work
for the parks department.
776
00:30:25,758 --> 00:30:27,758
The what?
- Parks department.
777
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:29,459
Pox department?
- Parks.
778
00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:30,327
Parks?
- Parks.
779
00:30:30,329 --> 00:30:31,528
Oh, parks!
Parks department.
780
00:30:31,530 --> 00:30:33,297
Right, right,
the parks department.
781
00:30:33,299 --> 00:30:34,131
Got it.
782
00:30:34,133 --> 00:30:35,365
Well that's cool.
783
00:30:35,367 --> 00:30:36,500
It is really cool.
784
00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:37,534
Wanna know what I do?
785
00:30:37,536 --> 00:30:38,836
Not really.
786
00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,604
C'mon, take a guess,
it's a good one.
787
00:30:40,606 --> 00:30:41,839
Um, unemployed?
- Yes!
788
00:30:41,841 --> 00:30:43,307
Very good guess.
789
00:30:43,309 --> 00:30:44,875
Be honest, do you think
it was inappropriate?
790
00:30:44,877 --> 00:30:47,144
For you to talk about your
own feminine hygiene issue
791
00:30:47,146 --> 00:30:48,111
at your dinner date?
792
00:30:48,113 --> 00:30:49,680
Absolutely not.
- Thank you.
793
00:30:49,682 --> 00:30:50,948
Why would that be weird?
- I know!
794
00:30:50,950 --> 00:30:52,783
I didn't think so,
but then I was, like,
795
00:30:52,785 --> 00:30:53,784
questioning myself.
796
00:30:53,786 --> 00:30:54,785
People are weird!
- Yeah.
797
00:30:54,787 --> 00:30:56,653
Like my date, my wife,
798
00:30:56,655 --> 00:30:57,888
walked out on our date tonight,
799
00:30:57,890 --> 00:31:00,357
I think, because I talked
about my balls.
800
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:01,692
Like one time.
801
00:31:01,694 --> 00:31:03,894
She sounds like a twunt.
802
00:31:03,896 --> 00:31:04,962
What?
803
00:31:04,964 --> 00:31:06,063
I'm sorry.
804
00:31:06,065 --> 00:31:07,531
That's a really ugly word,
I'm-
805
00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:08,532
No, no, no, that's not
what I meant.
806
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:09,867
Did you?
807
00:31:09,869 --> 00:31:11,268
I say twunt.
808
00:31:12,704 --> 00:31:14,805
I... No you don't.
809
00:31:14,807 --> 00:31:16,874
I say twunt all the time.
810
00:31:19,811 --> 00:31:22,679
I thought I made it up.
- I thought I made it up.
811
00:31:22,681 --> 00:31:24,548
Well, I guess we both
made it up.
812
00:31:24,550 --> 00:31:25,749
I guess we did.
813
00:31:25,751 --> 00:31:27,684
Oh my God, I love twunt,
I love twunt!
814
00:31:27,686 --> 00:31:29,553
Oh, I love twunt.
815
00:31:29,555 --> 00:31:31,855
I love twunt.
- I love twunt.
816
00:31:31,857 --> 00:31:35,192
Oh, look
at that, you great twunt.
817
00:31:35,194 --> 00:31:37,828
Oh no!
- Oh you twunt.
818
00:31:37,830 --> 00:31:38,929
I can't do a Scottish accent.
819
00:31:38,931 --> 00:31:40,831
Oh, you stinky twunt.
820
00:31:40,833 --> 00:31:42,032
Listen to you!
821
00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:45,769
Would you like some twunt korma?
822
00:31:45,771 --> 00:31:47,504
Buttered- buttered twunt?
823
00:31:47,506 --> 00:31:51,341
And, no, I don't
know why people react to me that way.
824
00:31:51,343 --> 00:31:52,242
I really don't.
825
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:54,745
It's just I prefer to be
honest because-
826
00:31:54,747 --> 00:31:56,880
Everyone wastes so much time
being polite
827
00:31:56,882 --> 00:31:59,016
when they could just say
what they mean.
828
00:31:59,018 --> 00:32:02,386
Now the question you gotta
ask yourself is...
829
00:32:02,388 --> 00:32:05,055
"Do you feel lucky, twunt?
830
00:32:05,057 --> 00:32:07,791
Well? Do ya?"
831
00:32:07,793 --> 00:32:09,860
No, I got, it was too big
at the end, but you get it.
832
00:32:09,862 --> 00:32:10,861
Yeah.
833
00:32:10,863 --> 00:32:13,397
That was good.
That was really good.
834
00:32:17,468 --> 00:32:18,535
Yeah, here you go.
835
00:32:18,537 --> 00:32:19,803
Door-to-door service.
836
00:32:19,805 --> 00:32:21,905
Thanks, that would almost
be chivalrous,
837
00:32:21,907 --> 00:32:23,707
if you didn't just
arm-wrestle me for it.
838
00:32:23,709 --> 00:32:26,743
Well, I have something
very pressing to do at home.
839
00:32:26,745 --> 00:32:27,811
Masturbate?
840
00:32:27,813 --> 00:32:29,413
Yeah.
- Me too.
841
00:32:30,783 --> 00:32:31,882
Man, get a room.
842
00:32:31,884 --> 00:32:34,151
Just shut your stupid face!
843
00:32:35,287 --> 00:32:36,920
Seriously, shut your
stupid face.
844
00:32:36,922 --> 00:32:37,888
Y'all twunts.
845
00:32:37,890 --> 00:32:39,589
Well-
846
00:32:39,591 --> 00:32:42,426
I got a- I got a burp
in my throat.
847
00:32:42,428 --> 00:32:43,794
Let it rip.
848
00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:46,163
Nice. Nice.
- Yeah.
849
00:32:46,165 --> 00:32:47,764
I hate this job.
850
00:32:47,766 --> 00:32:49,633
Um...
851
00:32:49,635 --> 00:32:51,635
Okay, um...
852
00:32:51,637 --> 00:32:53,170
Goodbye.
853
00:32:53,172 --> 00:32:55,472
Goodbye.
- See you.
854
00:32:56,674 --> 00:32:58,775
I'll pay for the cab.
Don't worry.
855
00:32:58,777 --> 00:33:00,277
Always planned on it.
856
00:33:00,279 --> 00:33:02,079
Hey! Hey, hey.
857
00:33:03,081 --> 00:33:05,115
You are not as big of a bitch
858
00:33:05,117 --> 00:33:06,883
as I thought you were gonna be.
859
00:33:08,286 --> 00:33:09,152
Thanks.
860
00:33:09,487 --> 00:33:10,988
Yeah.
861
00:33:10,990 --> 00:33:13,757
You're not as big of a
cheese-dick,
862
00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:15,325
Well, you haven't seen my dick.
863
00:33:16,261 --> 00:33:18,128
Um...
- What's your name?
864
00:33:18,130 --> 00:33:20,797
Oh, God, yeah, I'm Mel-
I'm Mel Miller.
865
00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:23,166
Mel- M- Mel- M-
I'm Melanie Miller.
866
00:33:23,168 --> 00:33:25,202
I'm Barry Burke.
- Barry Burke, hey.
867
00:33:25,204 --> 00:33:26,436
How do you do?
868
00:33:26,438 --> 00:33:28,872
I do well.
Um...
869
00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:32,009
Maybe I'll run into you
some time, Mel Miller.
870
00:33:32,011 --> 00:33:34,878
Maybe we will, Barry Burke.
871
00:33:38,116 --> 00:33:39,883
Goodbye again.
872
00:33:41,153 --> 00:33:44,021
Okay, goodnight.
- Yeah, bye.
873
00:34:08,047 --> 00:34:08,979
Hey.
874
00:34:08,981 --> 00:34:10,080
Hey, babe.
875
00:34:11,015 --> 00:34:12,382
This museum pitch
is killing me.
876
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:14,651
I have like zero ideas.
- Mm-hmm.
877
00:34:14,653 --> 00:34:17,854
So I thought I would just come
and take a little break...
878
00:34:17,856 --> 00:34:19,589
With you.
879
00:34:23,861 --> 00:34:24,895
Pow.
880
00:34:27,265 --> 00:34:28,565
Pow.
881
00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:31,968
Pshew.
882
00:34:33,905 --> 00:34:34,971
Ow.
883
00:34:39,710 --> 00:34:41,244
Do do.
884
00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:43,647
Choo ch-choo, ch-choo
885
00:35:00,064 --> 00:35:01,631
Aah!
886
00:35:01,633 --> 00:35:03,800
I'm just gonna do some exercises
887
00:35:03,802 --> 00:35:06,403
to help me, you know,
clear my head.
888
00:35:06,405 --> 00:35:07,871
Um...
889
00:35:07,873 --> 00:35:09,606
I do this in my pilates class.
890
00:35:09,608 --> 00:35:11,041
Isn't it fun?
891
00:35:11,043 --> 00:35:12,576
Can I get my-
892
00:35:12,578 --> 00:35:15,779
You're gonna wrinkle up my stuff
on my desk.
893
00:35:15,781 --> 00:35:18,615
Babe, I'm- I'm really trying'
to get some stuff done,
894
00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:19,283
you know what I mean?
895
00:35:19,284 --> 00:35:20,550
You can't do it tomorrow?
896
00:35:20,552 --> 00:35:21,785
Ah, you know, I could.
897
00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:23,053
I'd just rather not.
898
00:35:28,426 --> 00:35:29,993
Mm- mm- babe.
899
00:35:29,995 --> 00:35:32,963
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga
choo choo!
900
00:35:32,965 --> 00:35:35,065
Honey, I'm tryin' to-
901
00:35:37,902 --> 00:35:39,102
Babe.
902
00:35:39,104 --> 00:35:41,705
No one's hiring,
I have to focus, okay?
903
00:35:45,510 --> 00:35:46,977
I'm sorry.
904
00:35:50,448 --> 00:35:51,648
I miss that guy.
905
00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:52,849
What guy?
906
00:36:08,132 --> 00:36:09,266
That guy.
907
00:36:12,136 --> 00:36:14,171
We all miss that guy.
908
00:36:15,339 --> 00:36:16,740
What in the world?
909
00:36:24,782 --> 00:36:26,116
God damn.
910
00:36:29,987 --> 00:36:31,154
Barry...
911
00:36:31,156 --> 00:36:33,123
I think it's time
to face the fact that you-
912
00:36:33,125 --> 00:36:34,124
that, uh-
913
00:36:34,959 --> 00:36:35,660
That-
914
00:36:35,661 --> 00:36:38,128
What was I saying?
- Are you high?
915
00:36:39,064 --> 00:36:40,997
Yeah, like I'd find
a year-old blunt
916
00:36:40,999 --> 00:36:43,500
and smoke that and, like,
cough so hard I farted.
917
00:36:43,502 --> 00:36:45,035
Like I did that. Yeah.
918
00:36:45,037 --> 00:36:46,002
He's high!
- You're high!
919
00:36:46,004 --> 00:36:47,304
Yeah, I'm high, yeah.
920
00:36:47,306 --> 00:36:48,538
I am high as hell right now.
921
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:49,639
But it's not about me, man.
922
00:36:49,641 --> 00:36:50,874
Let's talk about you, Barry.
923
00:36:50,876 --> 00:36:52,309
I feel like I let you guys down
a little bit.
924
00:36:52,311 --> 00:36:53,076
You definitely did.
925
00:36:53,078 --> 00:36:57,414
I- I-I, actually I did-
I did share a cab ride home
926
00:36:57,416 --> 00:36:59,916
with a pretty awesome girl
after the date, though.
927
00:36:59,918 --> 00:37:01,051
What?
- And?
928
00:37:01,053 --> 00:37:02,919
And it was- it was awesome.
929
00:37:02,921 --> 00:37:04,154
I don't know, it was-
it was weird.
930
00:37:04,156 --> 00:37:05,388
We had so much in common,
you know?
931
00:37:05,390 --> 00:37:06,356
She was just like me.
932
00:37:06,358 --> 00:37:09,092
She was smart, witty,
good-looking.
933
00:37:09,094 --> 00:37:10,694
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
934
00:37:10,696 --> 00:37:11,895
Did you get her phone number?
935
00:37:11,897 --> 00:37:14,064
No, I figured
I'd bump into her sometime.
936
00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:15,098
Dude!
- Oh.
937
00:37:15,100 --> 00:37:16,566
Are you out of your mind?
938
00:37:16,568 --> 00:37:18,101
We've scoured this entire city
939
00:37:18,103 --> 00:37:19,369
to find someone
who can tolerate you
940
00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:20,570
for more than three seconds,
941
00:37:20,572 --> 00:37:22,439
then you finally find
somebody that likes you
942
00:37:22,441 --> 00:37:24,007
and you don't even
get her fucking number?
943
00:37:24,009 --> 00:37:26,076
I wanted to play it cool.
- Cool?!
944
00:37:26,078 --> 00:37:27,344
We are way past cool, man.
945
00:37:27,346 --> 00:37:29,112
This shit is desperate!
946
00:37:29,114 --> 00:37:31,715
Can I have a chocolate malt?
I need a malt.
947
00:37:31,717 --> 00:37:33,183
We'll find her.
Just- what was her name?
948
00:37:33,185 --> 00:37:35,118
Mel.
- Mel what?
949
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:38,955
Mm... Mel, um...
- Melvin?
950
00:37:38,957 --> 00:37:40,023
Mel Gibson.
951
00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:43,760
Mel, uh, it was like, ah!
The- the- the, like the-
952
00:37:43,762 --> 00:37:45,295
Think, think, think
what was her name?
953
00:37:45,297 --> 00:37:46,630
Fuck, Barry!
954
00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:49,065
Well then, heck, Barry,
what's the GD point?
955
00:37:49,067 --> 00:37:51,401
Barry! I will literally
club you with this bar spoon
956
00:37:51,403 --> 00:37:53,236
if you don't tell me who she is.
957
00:37:53,238 --> 00:37:54,104
Tell me!
958
00:37:54,106 --> 00:37:56,106
Wait, I just got it!
959
00:37:56,108 --> 00:37:57,807
Oh, Mel Miller.
- She's pretty.
960
00:37:57,809 --> 00:37:59,943
Wow. Graduated from
Berkeley.
961
00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:02,112
Volunteers at a
dog adoption center.
962
00:38:02,114 --> 00:38:02,879
Is this real?
963
00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:06,116
Or is this some, like,
catfish type situation?
964
00:38:06,118 --> 00:38:07,784
I got her number.
Call her.
965
00:38:07,786 --> 00:38:08,252
Wait!
966
00:38:08,253 --> 00:38:11,121
We only got one shot at this,
all right?
967
00:38:11,123 --> 00:38:12,355
Better do it right.
968
00:38:16,594 --> 00:38:18,228
BOO!
969
00:38:20,265 --> 00:38:22,799
Oh, every time!
- Yeah.
970
00:38:22,801 --> 00:38:27,304
Oh, it is ridiculously hot
out there.
971
00:38:27,306 --> 00:38:28,772
Oh.
972
00:38:28,774 --> 00:38:33,910
I am so clammy and sticky
and disgusting.
973
00:38:35,613 --> 00:38:37,414
I think I put deodorant on.
974
00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:41,618
Whoo!
- Are you wearing my bra?
975
00:38:41,620 --> 00:38:42,452
Oh...
976
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:45,755
Yeah, I had to borrow it.
- Why?
977
00:38:45,757 --> 00:38:47,257
To match your thong.
978
00:38:47,858 --> 00:38:49,659
Do you want it back?
979
00:38:49,661 --> 00:38:50,694
No.
980
00:38:52,029 --> 00:38:53,229
Oh, you sure?
981
00:38:53,864 --> 00:38:55,165
Actually I might need a hand.
982
00:38:55,167 --> 00:38:56,966
N- no, you keep it.
Really.
983
00:38:56,968 --> 00:38:58,068
Thank you.
984
00:38:59,337 --> 00:39:01,338
It's really stuck up there.
985
00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:02,372
Yeah.
986
00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:05,308
So, you heard anything
from the cab guy?
987
00:39:05,310 --> 00:39:07,377
Oh, that guy.
Um, no.
988
00:39:07,379 --> 00:39:09,679
He hasn't got my number, so-
- Bummer.
989
00:39:09,681 --> 00:39:11,314
I don't care, anyway.
990
00:39:11,316 --> 00:39:13,283
It's better for you
if I'm single.
991
00:39:13,285 --> 00:39:13,818
Right?
992
00:39:13,819 --> 00:39:17,220
What would you do
without your wing girl?
993
00:39:17,222 --> 00:39:18,822
Get dates.
994
00:39:18,824 --> 00:39:20,123
You wouldn't, Paige.
995
00:39:20,125 --> 00:39:20,857
No?
996
00:39:21,492 --> 00:39:23,360
It's really hard for you.
997
00:39:25,229 --> 00:39:28,198
Babe, you've got to learn
to love yourself,
998
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:29,232
before others can love you.
999
00:39:29,234 --> 00:39:31,301
My self-esteem is fine now.
1000
00:39:31,303 --> 00:39:34,571
No, I mean literally
love yourself.
1001
00:39:34,573 --> 00:39:35,939
You know?
1002
00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,074
Down there.
1003
00:39:38,076 --> 00:39:39,476
Between your legs.
1004
00:39:39,478 --> 00:39:41,010
Do you know what I mean?
1005
00:39:41,012 --> 00:39:43,046
Try the showerhead.
1006
00:39:43,048 --> 00:39:45,315
Try your electric toothbrush.
1007
00:39:45,317 --> 00:39:47,584
Yours is a lot more powerful
than mine
1008
00:39:47,586 --> 00:39:49,185
and really gets in there.
1009
00:39:49,187 --> 00:39:51,054
That is really disgusting.
1010
00:39:51,056 --> 00:39:52,856
It's not. It's natural.
1011
00:39:52,858 --> 00:39:55,225
This is the problem with you,
Paige.
1012
00:39:55,227 --> 00:39:59,062
Why do you think I spend so long
in the bathroom every morning?
1013
00:39:59,064 --> 00:40:01,231
I'm masturbating.
- Hm.
1014
00:40:01,233 --> 00:40:03,032
A good hour before breakfast
1015
00:40:03,034 --> 00:40:05,735
and usually forty-five
minutes if I can squeeze it in
1016
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,370
when I get home.
1017
00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:09,839
I'm gonna get you masturbating
if it's the last thing I do.
1018
00:40:09,841 --> 00:40:10,740
I'm all good.
1019
00:40:17,315 --> 00:40:20,550
Hey, Mel, this is Barry, uh,
from the cab.
1020
00:40:20,552 --> 00:40:22,085
Oh, um...
1021
00:40:22,087 --> 00:40:23,920
Uh...
1022
00:40:25,456 --> 00:40:26,890
It's him, it's the guy.
1023
00:40:29,895 --> 00:40:31,928
It's the guy from the cab.
1024
00:40:31,930 --> 00:40:34,798
Okay, speak as little
as possible.
1025
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:35,965
Okay, okay.
I'm all good.
1026
00:40:37,935 --> 00:40:40,203
Hey, so um...
1027
00:40:40,205 --> 00:40:43,106
you some kind of pervert
stalker or something?
1028
00:40:43,108 --> 00:40:44,374
Yeah, sometimes.
1029
00:40:44,376 --> 00:40:46,075
No!
- Just read the cards.
1030
00:40:46,077 --> 00:40:47,977
Uh, I can't read
Kurt's handwriting.
1031
00:40:47,979 --> 00:40:49,279
What are you talking about?
It says,
1032
00:40:49,281 --> 00:40:50,980
"I was wondering if you're
not doing anything Friday night
1033
00:40:50,982 --> 00:40:52,148
if you'd like to go to
dinner with me
1034
00:40:52,150 --> 00:40:53,416
or any other activity. "
1035
00:40:53,418 --> 00:40:55,452
Oh my God, could you make it
any wordier?
1036
00:40:55,454 --> 00:40:56,719
Who are you talking to?
1037
00:40:56,721 --> 00:40:57,754
I'm talking to you.
1038
00:40:57,756 --> 00:41:00,457
I was wondering if you want me
to come in your- what?!
1039
00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:01,391
No!
1040
00:41:01,393 --> 00:41:03,092
What's going on?
- I don't know.
1041
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:05,428
Speak from your heart.
- Shut up!
1042
00:41:05,430 --> 00:41:06,896
Are you talking to me?
- Yes.
1043
00:41:06,898 --> 00:41:08,398
Oh, really?
1044
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,666
No, no.
1045
00:41:09,668 --> 00:41:11,301
Read the card.
- You shut up.
1046
00:41:11,303 --> 00:41:12,335
Please don't screw this up.
1047
00:41:12,337 --> 00:41:13,536
You shut up!
1048
00:41:14,071 --> 00:41:15,405
Fuck off.
1049
00:41:15,407 --> 00:41:16,339
Fuck you.
1050
00:41:17,141 --> 00:41:19,275
Are you getting' busy
on Friday night?
1051
00:41:19,277 --> 00:41:20,677
I dunno.
1052
00:41:20,679 --> 00:41:22,979
You tell me if I'm getting busy
Friday night.
1053
00:41:22,981 --> 00:41:24,414
What, is English
her second language?
1054
00:41:24,416 --> 00:41:25,982
I think so.
1055
00:41:25,984 --> 00:41:29,519
and, uh- and we'll talk
about the details later.
1056
00:41:29,521 --> 00:41:31,421
Cool... see ya.
1057
00:41:31,423 --> 00:41:32,755
Cool, see ya.
1058
00:41:33,324 --> 00:41:34,591
Oh!
1059
00:41:34,593 --> 00:41:36,426
He got a date!
1060
00:41:36,428 --> 00:41:38,261
Down there.
1061
00:41:38,696 --> 00:41:39,796
I have a date.
1062
00:41:39,798 --> 00:41:41,064
What?
- Yeah.
1063
00:41:41,700 --> 00:41:44,501
I mean we'll see.
I don't know.
1064
00:41:44,503 --> 00:41:45,802
I love him.
1065
00:41:45,804 --> 00:41:48,037
I think I need to go
and have a shower.
1066
00:41:49,341 --> 00:41:53,276
I feel so inspired after that,
it was just-
1067
00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:54,511
I know.
1068
00:41:54,513 --> 00:41:56,279
It's like I'm alive, right?
- I know, I know!
1069
00:41:56,281 --> 00:41:58,281
I feel alive.
- It's just, it was so real.
1070
00:41:58,283 --> 00:42:00,350
Oh God, this-
this is hands-down
1071
00:42:00,352 --> 00:42:02,352
the best first date
I've ever had.
1072
00:42:02,354 --> 00:42:03,987
Yeah?
- Ever!
1073
00:42:03,989 --> 00:42:05,955
Mine too.
- Yeah?
1074
00:42:05,957 --> 00:42:10,326
And no one has ever taken me
to a cockfight before.
1075
00:42:10,328 --> 00:42:11,361
I can't believe that.
1076
00:42:11,363 --> 00:42:13,396
You got cockfight
written all over you.
1077
00:42:13,398 --> 00:42:14,464
It's so... violent.
1078
00:42:14,466 --> 00:42:16,466
And so bloody, I know.
1079
00:42:16,468 --> 00:42:18,234
Feathers everywhere.
1080
00:42:18,236 --> 00:42:19,369
Poor little guys.
- Yeah.
1081
00:42:19,371 --> 00:42:22,205
Yeah, but you made
that great call on dinner, so...
1082
00:42:22,207 --> 00:42:23,206
Yeah?
- Yeah.
1083
00:42:23,208 --> 00:42:25,675
Oh, well I'm-
I'm glad you liked it.
1084
00:42:25,677 --> 00:42:29,379
I think they have
incredible cuisine at Hooters,
1085
00:42:29,381 --> 00:42:31,681
but most people don't notice
'cause of...
1086
00:42:31,683 --> 00:42:33,349
all the massive tits.
1087
00:42:33,351 --> 00:42:35,418
I know, the tits
are distracting.
1088
00:42:36,387 --> 00:42:38,388
This feels so natural.
1089
00:42:38,390 --> 00:42:39,589
I know.
1090
00:42:42,993 --> 00:42:45,361
It makes me want to
spoon your face.
1091
00:42:45,363 --> 00:42:47,096
I wanna...
1092
00:42:47,098 --> 00:42:49,065
I wanna lick the inside
of your mouth.
1093
00:42:49,067 --> 00:42:50,400
You do?
- Yeah.
1094
00:42:51,068 --> 00:42:52,035
Oh God...
1095
00:42:52,037 --> 00:42:54,504
I really hope
you taste like hot dogs.
1096
00:42:54,506 --> 00:42:55,572
I do.
1097
00:42:56,106 --> 00:42:57,407
I always do.
- Yeah?
1098
00:42:57,409 --> 00:43:00,510
♪ ♪
1099
00:43:09,887 --> 00:43:14,290
Barry, I wanna invite you
upstairs, but...
1100
00:43:14,292 --> 00:43:16,526
...this fucking bread factory
between my legs
1101
00:43:16,528 --> 00:43:18,094
is working overtime and-
1102
00:43:18,096 --> 00:43:19,429
That's cool.
- Yeah?
1103
00:43:19,431 --> 00:43:20,730
It's cool.
- I'm sorry.
1104
00:43:20,732 --> 00:43:21,931
It's cool.
- Yeah?
1105
00:43:21,933 --> 00:43:24,267
I hope you don't mind
if I work one out to you later.
1106
00:43:24,269 --> 00:43:25,401
I'd like that.
1107
00:43:25,403 --> 00:43:26,769
Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
1108
00:43:26,771 --> 00:43:28,371
Then I will.
1109
00:43:31,475 --> 00:43:33,142
Mmm.
1110
00:43:35,879 --> 00:43:37,614
Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
1111
00:43:39,650 --> 00:43:41,551
Bye.
- Bye.
1112
00:43:53,764 --> 00:43:55,298
This sucks.
1113
00:43:55,300 --> 00:43:57,000
This all sucks.
1114
00:43:57,501 --> 00:43:58,668
Yes!
1115
00:43:58,670 --> 00:44:00,303
What's up?
1116
00:44:00,305 --> 00:44:01,604
That was Barry.
1117
00:44:01,606 --> 00:44:03,172
He and Mel are totally
hitting it off.
1118
00:44:03,174 --> 00:44:04,507
Oh my god,
that is amazing!
1119
00:44:04,509 --> 00:44:05,775
I know!
- Oh my God!
1120
00:44:05,777 --> 00:44:06,843
This could be it!
1121
00:44:06,845 --> 00:44:08,144
Oh my God.
- Yes!
1122
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:09,679
Oh.
1123
00:44:14,351 --> 00:44:15,785
They're going out again
on Friday?
1124
00:44:15,787 --> 00:44:16,953
That's huge!
1125
00:44:16,955 --> 00:44:19,122
Yeah, think of the freedom.
1126
00:44:19,124 --> 00:44:20,490
Zihuatenejo, my friend.
1127
00:44:20,492 --> 00:44:21,858
you realize
what this could mean, right?
1128
00:44:21,860 --> 00:44:25,194
eating at restaurants without
being publicly humiliated.
1129
00:44:25,196 --> 00:44:27,597
Going to sporting events
without fear or ejection.
1130
00:44:27,599 --> 00:44:28,431
Not having people say,
1131
00:44:28,433 --> 00:44:29,666
"Hey, you know your friend
Barry?
1132
00:44:29,668 --> 00:44:31,768
Don't ever bring him to my
motherfucking house again. "
1133
00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:32,869
And that's a woman saying that.
1134
00:44:32,871 --> 00:44:34,303
I'm gonna meet
so many more chicks.
1135
00:44:34,305 --> 00:44:36,506
Ah, I'm gonna bone Rachel
a lot.
1136
00:44:36,508 --> 00:44:37,974
And I'm gonna talk to Camille.
1137
00:44:37,976 --> 00:44:38,975
Go what?
- What?
1138
00:44:38,977 --> 00:44:43,780
It's time to make right
what once was, um...
1139
00:44:45,482 --> 00:44:47,250
Aw, hell no.
1140
00:44:49,486 --> 00:44:51,487
Hey.
- Oh, hey.
1141
00:44:51,489 --> 00:44:53,189
I didn't even see you
over there.
1142
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:57,060
I- I'd seen you earlier,
but I- I- I...
1143
00:44:57,995 --> 00:44:59,328
Cool.
- What's up?
1144
00:44:59,330 --> 00:45:02,398
Honestly, I'm not doing so well.
1145
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:04,033
I just broke up with someone.
1146
00:45:04,035 --> 00:45:05,968
You already got a new boyfriend
1147
00:45:05,970 --> 00:45:07,704
and then- and then
broke up with him?
1148
00:45:07,706 --> 00:45:10,039
It's been, like, eleven days.
1149
00:45:10,041 --> 00:45:12,842
Yeah, I moved on, Kurt.
1150
00:45:12,844 --> 00:45:13,843
Didn't you?
1151
00:45:13,845 --> 00:45:15,545
Mm-hmm. Yeah, I did.
1152
00:45:15,547 --> 00:45:16,746
I moved on, a lot,
1153
00:45:16,748 --> 00:45:18,381
to a lot of different women.
1154
00:45:18,383 --> 00:45:20,983
Wow.
Anyone special?
1155
00:45:20,985 --> 00:45:23,720
No! No- yeah, no,
just it's hard to notice
1156
00:45:23,722 --> 00:45:27,423
'cause there's so many-
so much ass coming my way,
1157
00:45:27,425 --> 00:45:29,826
it's all the clingy bitches
and, you know.
1158
00:45:29,828 --> 00:45:32,595
Awesome, well, it was
really nice running into you.
1159
00:45:32,597 --> 00:45:33,996
But I don't really talk to
them anymore, you know?
1160
00:45:33,998 --> 00:45:36,165
They weren't up to my
standards, you know?
1161
00:45:36,167 --> 00:45:37,500
Really?
- Yeah.
1162
00:45:37,502 --> 00:45:38,601
Once you go black,
you never go back...
1163
00:45:38,603 --> 00:45:40,470
Doesn't apply.
1164
00:45:40,472 --> 00:45:43,573
He's not dumb enough
to pursue that again.
1165
00:45:43,575 --> 00:45:44,741
I don't know.
1166
00:45:44,743 --> 00:45:45,908
Um.
1167
00:45:48,512 --> 00:45:49,512
But, you know what?
1168
00:45:49,514 --> 00:45:50,313
Let's just focus
on the positive, all right?
1169
00:45:50,315 --> 00:45:55,686
We are about to embark on a
brand new chapter of our lives.
1170
00:45:56,688 --> 00:45:58,721
You're baked.
- What?
1171
00:46:01,258 --> 00:46:03,259
Don't do that.
You're scaring the customers.
1172
00:46:05,028 --> 00:46:06,462
Daddy feels like getting wet!
1173
00:46:06,464 --> 00:46:07,296
Oh!
1174
00:46:07,298 --> 00:46:08,397
You got nothin'!
1175
00:46:10,701 --> 00:46:12,502
Ah!
1176
00:46:15,639 --> 00:46:19,108
Go, go, go, go, go!
1177
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:20,877
You sure it's okay
to do it out here?
1178
00:46:20,879 --> 00:46:24,046
Yeah, nobody's gonna knooow!
1179
00:46:24,048 --> 00:46:25,581
Damn, that shit is good!
1180
00:46:25,583 --> 00:46:27,116
Ah!
1181
00:46:27,118 --> 00:46:30,586
Tell me about, um,
your day.
1182
00:46:30,588 --> 00:46:32,722
Mm, mm-hmm.
1183
00:46:37,161 --> 00:46:39,428
So funny.
1184
00:46:42,767 --> 00:46:44,500
♪ Oh Barry ♪
1185
00:46:44,502 --> 00:46:45,968
I don't have the words
or anything yet.
1186
00:46:45,970 --> 00:46:47,303
But you got Barry in there,
you put Barry in there.
1187
00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:48,538
That's me.
1188
00:46:49,006 --> 00:46:50,439
Throw it up there.
1189
00:46:50,441 --> 00:46:51,808
Yeah, that's good.
1190
00:46:51,810 --> 00:46:53,509
Why don't you try again here
1191
00:46:53,511 --> 00:46:54,911
and do a couple, uh,
1192
00:46:54,913 --> 00:46:56,012
do a couple yourself.
1193
00:46:56,014 --> 00:46:57,346
Check it out.
I'll be right back.
1194
00:46:57,348 --> 00:46:59,849
Was that Hatha yoga
you were practicing over there?
1195
00:46:59,851 --> 00:47:02,084
I saw it.
That was incredible!
1196
00:47:02,086 --> 00:47:04,720
♪ ♪
1197
00:47:06,423 --> 00:47:08,090
Hmm? Hmm?
1198
00:47:10,627 --> 00:47:11,961
Put me down!
1199
00:47:11,963 --> 00:47:13,696
Put me down!
1200
00:47:13,698 --> 00:47:16,732
♪ ♪
1201
00:47:30,481 --> 00:47:31,447
Smooth it out.
- Just smooth it out.
1202
00:47:31,449 --> 00:47:32,481
Use some spit.
1203
00:47:32,483 --> 00:47:33,349
I think it's like-
1204
00:47:33,351 --> 00:47:34,784
Use a little spit.
1205
00:47:35,552 --> 00:47:36,719
Yeah, 'cause there's
a bigger vein.
1206
00:47:36,721 --> 00:47:38,554
There's a big vein going,
just-
1207
00:47:38,556 --> 00:47:39,655
Okay.
- Yeah.
1208
00:47:39,657 --> 00:47:41,157
So add a little bit to the base.
1209
00:47:41,159 --> 00:47:42,692
Yeah, yeah.
Here, here, here.
1210
00:47:42,694 --> 00:47:43,960
Easy fix.
- That looks really good.
1211
00:47:43,962 --> 00:47:46,863
♪ ♪
1212
00:47:56,807 --> 00:47:58,841
Everybody watch!
This is the big finish!
1213
00:47:58,843 --> 00:47:59,976
Aah!
1214
00:47:59,978 --> 00:48:02,645
Oh, oh, ah, ah!
1215
00:48:02,647 --> 00:48:05,248
Ah! Ah! Ah!
1216
00:48:07,584 --> 00:48:09,719
Oh, don't touch.
Oh, don't touch.
1217
00:48:09,721 --> 00:48:11,821
Oh it's sensi- oh it's delicate,
it's tender.
1218
00:48:13,724 --> 00:48:15,424
So?
- so?
1219
00:48:15,426 --> 00:48:16,726
Tell us everything.
1220
00:48:16,728 --> 00:48:18,828
Okay. Mel is amazing.
1221
00:48:18,830 --> 00:48:20,663
She's unbelievable. I-
1222
00:48:20,665 --> 00:48:22,331
The last two weeks
have been magical
1223
00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:23,566
and I- I don't wanna get cheesy,
1224
00:48:23,568 --> 00:48:26,168
but deep down in my heart
I feel like she understands me
1225
00:48:26,170 --> 00:48:28,004
as no one else ever has.
1226
00:48:28,839 --> 00:48:30,773
Plus, she's got
a super-wide bush.
1227
00:48:30,775 --> 00:48:31,741
Yeah, I love it.
1228
00:48:31,743 --> 00:48:32,842
This is great news.
1229
00:48:32,844 --> 00:48:34,043
It is! I know, right?
1230
00:48:34,045 --> 00:48:36,612
Most girls wax, but not Mel.
1231
00:48:36,614 --> 00:48:38,547
I like to get lost down there
in some jungle.
1232
00:48:38,549 --> 00:48:40,783
No, I- I meant it's great
news that it's going so well.
1233
00:48:40,785 --> 00:48:41,951
Yeah, not great news
about the bush.
1234
00:48:41,953 --> 00:48:42,952
Oh, right. Yeah.
1235
00:48:42,954 --> 00:48:44,220
Well, that too.
1236
00:48:44,222 --> 00:48:45,054
That is going very well.
1237
00:48:45,056 --> 00:48:46,722
Um, but mainly the relationship.
1238
00:48:46,724 --> 00:48:47,924
Well, you haven't
seen this bush.
1239
00:48:47,926 --> 00:48:48,925
It's outstanding.
1240
00:48:48,927 --> 00:48:50,927
Sounds like a real throwback.
- So...
1241
00:48:50,929 --> 00:48:51,727
...moving on.
1242
00:48:51,729 --> 00:48:53,029
What are you guys coin'?
1243
00:48:53,031 --> 00:48:54,697
Dude, can you not put gum
underneath my bar?
1244
00:48:54,699 --> 00:48:57,867
Last time I put it on top
of the bar you flipped out,
1245
00:48:57,869 --> 00:48:59,635
and now I put it under the bar,
which is the next logical step,
1246
00:48:59,637 --> 00:49:01,270
What do you want me
to do with it?
1247
00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:02,705
So... you and Mel?
1248
00:49:02,707 --> 00:49:04,707
Seems like you guys are going
the distance, huh?
1249
00:49:04,709 --> 00:49:06,609
Yeah, sounds like you met
your soul mate.
1250
00:49:06,611 --> 00:49:07,810
You're intended.
1251
00:49:07,812 --> 00:49:09,412
Could be your future bride.
1252
00:49:09,414 --> 00:49:11,414
Hey, I-I-I don't know.
I don't know.
1253
00:49:11,416 --> 00:49:13,950
I mean, yeah, she is,
she is pretty amazing.
1254
00:49:13,952 --> 00:49:15,084
Did I mention her bush?
1255
00:49:15,086 --> 00:49:15,985
Indeed you did.
- In detail.
1256
00:49:15,987 --> 00:49:18,888
I can't believe you have
a girlfriend, man!
1257
00:49:18,890 --> 00:49:19,889
Yeah, I know.
1258
00:49:19,891 --> 00:49:20,990
When do we get to meet her?
- Uh...
1259
00:49:20,992 --> 00:49:22,325
We're going to Kurt's cabin
this weekend.
1260
00:49:22,327 --> 00:49:23,225
You should bring her.
1261
00:49:23,227 --> 00:49:24,927
Yeah, yeah, Kurt, can I?
1262
00:49:24,929 --> 00:49:26,062
Yeah, it'll be fun.
That'll be cool.
1263
00:49:26,064 --> 00:49:27,630
Yes!
Yeah!
1264
00:49:29,067 --> 00:49:30,299
You're gonna love her.
1265
00:49:30,301 --> 00:49:31,767
You might even get a peek
at that bush.
1266
00:49:31,769 --> 00:49:32,969
I don't know.
We'll see what we can do.
1267
00:49:32,971 --> 00:49:34,070
I'm okay with just meeting her.
1268
00:49:34,072 --> 00:49:36,005
Why'd you invite Barry again?
1269
00:49:36,007 --> 00:49:38,007
I told you, he's got
a girlfriend now, so...
1270
00:49:38,009 --> 00:49:39,008
And?
1271
00:49:39,010 --> 00:49:40,910
And it'll be totally different.
1272
00:49:40,912 --> 00:49:42,812
This'll be the kinder,
gentler Barry.
1273
00:49:42,814 --> 00:49:45,114
Exactly, she'll keep him
on a short leash.
1274
00:49:45,116 --> 00:49:46,749
Yeah, kinda like a buffer.
1275
00:49:46,751 --> 00:49:48,284
A little Barry buffer.
1276
00:49:48,286 --> 00:49:50,286
Great.
- Oh, there they are.
1277
00:49:50,288 --> 00:49:51,487
Hey!
1278
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,688
Hey!
1279
00:49:54,025 --> 00:49:55,925
We knew you were there before
the honk.
1280
00:49:55,927 --> 00:49:57,693
Hello!
- This is Mel.
1281
00:49:57,695 --> 00:49:58,794
Oh, she's so pretty!
1282
00:49:58,796 --> 00:50:01,197
Oh, she looks like an angel
from heaven.
1283
00:50:01,199 --> 00:50:02,832
Hi!
- Hey.
1284
00:50:02,834 --> 00:50:05,334
Hi, I'm Desmond,
great to meet you.
1285
00:50:05,336 --> 00:50:07,970
Oh! Okay, the guy who couldn't
get it up for his wife.
1286
00:50:07,972 --> 00:50:08,971
Yep, wha-?
- That's him.
1287
00:50:08,973 --> 00:50:09,839
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Right.
1288
00:50:09,841 --> 00:50:12,274
So you must be
the lucky lady
1289
00:50:12,276 --> 00:50:14,677
who's finally getting some.
1290
00:50:14,679 --> 00:50:16,879
That's me.
My name is Rachel.
1291
00:50:16,881 --> 00:50:18,114
You didn't tell me her name
was Rachel.
1292
00:50:18,116 --> 00:50:20,850
I used- I had a, um,
a rat called Rachel, yeah.
1293
00:50:20,852 --> 00:50:23,152
Cool, um, this is-
- That's a detail.
1294
00:50:23,154 --> 00:50:24,353
Wait, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm gonna guess,
1295
00:50:24,355 --> 00:50:26,989
because he has told me
so much about you all.
1296
00:50:26,991 --> 00:50:27,790
Watch this.
Watch this.
1297
00:50:27,792 --> 00:50:30,326
Um, skank-magnet...
1298
00:50:30,328 --> 00:50:32,094
ice queen...
1299
00:50:33,030 --> 00:50:34,663
no-balls pushover.
1300
00:50:34,665 --> 00:50:37,700
Yeah, you hit- hit the nail
on the head, there.
1301
00:50:37,702 --> 00:50:38,834
I know, I know, look at her,
1302
00:50:38,836 --> 00:50:40,036
she's got some brains up
there, huh?
1303
00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:42,972
Not to mention a beautiful
set of knockers right here.
1304
00:50:42,974 --> 00:50:44,473
Sorry, they're only B-cup.
- Only.
1305
00:50:44,475 --> 00:50:45,474
Well, they're actually-
1306
00:50:45,476 --> 00:50:47,977
I can swell to a C
when I'm menstruating.
1307
00:50:47,979 --> 00:50:49,145
Ah, that's disgusting.
1308
00:50:49,147 --> 00:50:50,880
Oh my God, I never thought
I'd say this to a lady,
1309
00:50:50,882 --> 00:50:52,248
but I can't wait for your
time of the month.
1310
00:50:52,250 --> 00:50:53,215
Uh.
1311
00:50:53,217 --> 00:50:54,683
But get ready for the three Bs.
1312
00:50:54,685 --> 00:50:56,052
Bloated, bitchy and breasty.
1313
00:50:57,221 --> 00:50:58,921
Oh my God, I'm getting
a little B of my own right here.
1314
00:50:58,923 --> 00:51:00,923
Check it out.
- I- I looked.
1315
00:51:00,925 --> 00:51:02,892
Mmm. You know what guys?
I wanna- I wanna drive.
1316
00:51:04,595 --> 00:51:06,028
No, no, no, I wanna drive,
I wanna drive.
1317
00:51:06,030 --> 00:51:06,663
I wanna drive.
1318
00:51:06,664 --> 00:51:08,597
Do you wanna get in there
and make out a bit
1319
00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:09,932
before these guys
finish packing?
1320
00:51:09,934 --> 00:51:12,201
Yeah, um, if the van's
a- rockin'-
1321
00:51:12,203 --> 00:51:13,736
Don't come knockin'.
- Nah, I'm kidding.
1322
00:51:13,738 --> 00:51:15,071
It's another joke.
It's another joke.
1323
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:16,839
We won't go all the way.
- No, just oral.
1324
00:51:16,841 --> 00:51:18,574
Please don't do that in my car.
Please don't.
1325
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:19,909
Rafe, put my shit in the back.
1326
00:51:30,088 --> 00:51:33,589
♪ ♪
1327
00:51:34,925 --> 00:51:36,926
♪ Superconductor ♪
1328
00:51:36,928 --> 00:51:38,961
I'm feeling carsick!
1329
00:51:38,963 --> 00:51:40,496
What?
1330
00:51:40,797 --> 00:51:41,964
Hoo-hoo!
1331
00:51:41,966 --> 00:51:43,933
This sounds like
the soundtrack from Gizmo.
1332
00:51:43,935 --> 00:51:44,967
Huh?
1333
00:51:44,969 --> 00:51:47,203
This is awful!
- Yeah, it's awesome!
1334
00:51:47,205 --> 00:51:49,905
No, it sounds like what
insanity must feel like.
1335
00:51:49,907 --> 00:51:51,107
Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na.
1336
00:51:51,109 --> 00:51:53,642
Barry, uh, can you maybe
turn that song off?
1337
00:51:53,644 --> 00:51:58,547
This music is horrible.
It's making my eardrums bleed.
1338
00:51:58,549 --> 00:51:59,815
Oh!
- Sorry, sorry.
1339
00:51:59,817 --> 00:52:03,052
Okay, Mister No-taste.
1340
00:52:03,054 --> 00:52:04,386
Thank you.
- Thanks.
1341
00:52:04,388 --> 00:52:05,521
That was just a lot.
- Yeah.
1342
00:52:05,523 --> 00:52:07,089
Here we go.
- Uh-huh
1343
00:52:07,091 --> 00:52:10,059
You know, a playa
makin' money, fuckin' all these bitches
1344
00:52:10,061 --> 00:52:13,062
three at a time,
hydraulics in the switches,
1345
00:52:13,064 --> 00:52:15,998
got these hos and the bitches
licking up my ice cream,
1346
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,001
bitch squeeze the DJ,
come fuck wit my team,
1347
00:52:19,003 --> 00:52:21,270
Oh, make your ass shake,
shake your moneymaker,
1348
00:52:21,272 --> 00:52:22,671
take it to the hotel
1349
00:52:22,673 --> 00:52:24,273
and show her how my dick
can break her,
1350
00:52:24,275 --> 00:52:27,176
yeah, life ain't shit
without pussy on my dick, no.
1351
00:52:27,178 --> 00:52:29,445
Pussy on your dick... great.
1352
00:52:34,918 --> 00:52:36,085
Ready?
- Yeah.
1353
00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:46,462
Oh my God.
1354
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:50,232
What?
- It stinks!
1355
00:52:51,168 --> 00:52:52,535
Who did that?
- Who ripped it?
1356
00:52:52,537 --> 00:52:54,103
That'd be me.
- Are you serious?!
1357
00:52:54,105 --> 00:52:56,438
Are you steaming broccoli
in there?
1358
00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:57,506
It's tuna.
1359
00:52:57,508 --> 00:52:58,807
I'll open up the window.
- Fuck!
1360
00:52:58,809 --> 00:53:00,576
It won't open!
- What's going on?
1361
00:53:00,578 --> 00:53:03,045
Did I accidentally
lock the windows?
1362
00:53:03,047 --> 00:53:04,647
I'm not familiar with this car.
1363
00:53:04,649 --> 00:53:07,016
Oh my God,
it's in my eyes!
1364
00:53:07,018 --> 00:53:08,717
Oh you stink so good.
1365
00:53:08,719 --> 00:53:09,885
Since we're all
locked in anyway,
1366
00:53:09,887 --> 00:53:11,153
lemme, lemme add to the party.
1367
00:53:11,155 --> 00:53:12,454
It's gonna be good, listen!
1368
00:53:15,626 --> 00:53:17,026
Oh!
1369
00:53:17,028 --> 00:53:18,727
Oh, there was a high note
on that one.
1370
00:53:18,729 --> 00:53:20,062
I'm gonna hurl!
1371
00:53:20,064 --> 00:53:22,031
You guys, I think he's allergic!
1372
00:53:22,033 --> 00:53:23,332
I'm gonna hurl!
1373
00:53:23,334 --> 00:53:25,334
Oh my God.
1374
00:53:25,336 --> 00:53:28,037
They're choking.
Look how great.
1375
00:53:28,039 --> 00:53:29,939
Unlock the windows, Barry!
1376
00:53:31,341 --> 00:53:33,742
Ah, it's gorgeous.
Isn't it?
1377
00:53:33,744 --> 00:53:35,678
Oh, I can't wait
to pork you here.
1378
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:37,046
You're the best porker.
1379
00:53:37,048 --> 00:53:38,347
I know, aren't I?
1380
00:53:38,349 --> 00:53:40,249
I've been wanting to pork you
the whole car ride.
1381
00:53:40,251 --> 00:53:41,350
The whole ride?
- Yeah.
1382
00:53:41,352 --> 00:53:43,419
Uh, how many bedrooms
have you got?
1383
00:53:43,421 --> 00:53:44,753
One.
- Dibs!
1384
00:53:46,090 --> 00:53:47,056
Get up there.
Get up there.
1385
00:53:47,058 --> 00:53:48,157
Rafe, grab my shit.
1386
00:53:48,159 --> 00:53:49,725
This is gonna be fun, guys.
1387
00:53:49,727 --> 00:53:52,494
Yeah... yeah, I'm havin' fun.
1388
00:53:52,496 --> 00:53:54,496
You guys havin' fun?
No.
1389
00:53:54,498 --> 00:53:56,565
I can taste that fart.
1390
00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:59,001
I'm so excited
to go swimming!
1391
00:53:59,003 --> 00:54:00,703
This is the best part
of comin' up here.
1392
00:54:00,705 --> 00:54:02,438
Yeah.
You guys are gonna love it.
1393
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,006
I used to go to this
swimming hole all the time
1394
00:54:04,008 --> 00:54:04,708
when I was a kid.
1395
00:54:04,709 --> 00:54:06,709
Is it gonna be cold?
1396
00:54:06,711 --> 00:54:08,777
Yeah, it'll be great!
Come on!
1397
00:54:08,779 --> 00:54:09,778
Yeah, yeah, come on guys.
1398
00:54:09,780 --> 00:54:11,113
Last one in is a rotten
piece of shit!
1399
00:54:11,115 --> 00:54:13,082
Woo-hoo!
1400
00:54:13,084 --> 00:54:15,284
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
1401
00:54:15,286 --> 00:54:16,118
Here we go!
1402
00:54:17,888 --> 00:54:19,688
Fresh air feels good
on my balls!
1403
00:54:19,690 --> 00:54:21,590
Okay, there's actually some
board games back at the cabin.
1404
00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:22,558
Oh yeah.
- I'm into that.
1405
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:23,959
I love me some board games.
1406
00:54:23,961 --> 00:54:25,227
What better way
to spend a beautiful day?
1407
00:54:25,229 --> 00:54:26,262
Show 'em your bush!
1408
00:54:26,264 --> 00:54:28,597
It's so nice.
- Yeah, babe.
1409
00:54:28,599 --> 00:54:30,132
Yeah, and this, this one here
1410
00:54:30,134 --> 00:54:32,101
is actually three generations
of my family
1411
00:54:32,103 --> 00:54:33,802
standing just out front, so.
1412
00:54:33,804 --> 00:54:36,105
Oh my God!
1413
00:54:37,808 --> 00:54:39,275
Did you see that?
Let me do it!
1414
00:54:39,277 --> 00:54:40,743
I haven't done that in so long.
1415
00:54:40,745 --> 00:54:41,977
Oh my God, all right.
Your turn, your turn.
1416
00:54:41,979 --> 00:54:44,446
No, you gotta let, you gotta
get it all gathered in here.
1417
00:54:44,448 --> 00:54:46,115
Come on Rafe!
Come on, buddy!
1418
00:54:46,117 --> 00:54:47,750
Come on, get out here!
1419
00:54:47,752 --> 00:54:49,385
Not my thing.
Stopped doing that in college.
1420
00:54:49,387 --> 00:54:51,287
Go, go, go. Do it.
1421
00:54:51,289 --> 00:54:52,821
This is a pine needle fort
1422
00:54:52,823 --> 00:54:56,392
I made for the beetle army
I was raising.
1423
00:54:56,394 --> 00:54:58,761
Look at this, she's just letting
it slide right down her throat!
1424
00:54:58,763 --> 00:55:00,229
Oh, God, that's sexy.
1425
00:55:00,231 --> 00:55:01,230
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
1426
00:55:01,232 --> 00:55:03,232
Right in the sink.
Do it, do it. Yeah.
1427
00:55:03,234 --> 00:55:06,168
This is one of my, uh,
my old cats we used to...
1428
00:55:07,505 --> 00:55:09,238
...bring up here.
1429
00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:10,139
It's okay, right?
1430
00:55:10,141 --> 00:55:11,473
I got some puke up my nose.
1431
00:55:12,310 --> 00:55:14,310
Are you-?
You don't look too well.
1432
00:55:14,312 --> 00:55:16,211
Mmm.
- Mmm.
1433
00:55:19,583 --> 00:55:21,150
Honey, breathe, breathe.
1434
00:55:21,152 --> 00:55:22,785
I just wish they would, like,
throw up quieter.
1435
00:55:22,787 --> 00:55:24,053
Oh.
- Shhh.
1436
00:55:25,655 --> 00:55:28,424
Mmm, there you go.
1437
00:55:28,426 --> 00:55:30,092
Ah!
- Oh!
1438
00:55:30,094 --> 00:55:31,460
Don't look back there.
1439
00:55:31,462 --> 00:55:32,961
Don't look back there.
- Oh, God.
1440
00:55:32,963 --> 00:55:35,164
Kitchen blowy, guys.
1441
00:55:35,166 --> 00:55:36,298
This is heaven.
1442
00:55:36,300 --> 00:55:38,300
Oh.
1443
00:55:38,302 --> 00:55:39,201
Okay, come on up.
1444
00:55:39,203 --> 00:55:41,203
Let's just try
to enjoy ourselves.
1445
00:55:41,205 --> 00:55:42,204
Yeah.
1446
00:55:42,206 --> 00:55:44,306
Lady up!
1447
00:55:44,308 --> 00:55:45,874
We should play Twister!
1448
00:55:45,876 --> 00:55:47,176
This wine is nice.
1449
00:55:47,178 --> 00:55:48,777
I think the more
you puke, the drunker you get,
1450
00:55:48,779 --> 00:55:50,145
isn't that the way it goes?
1451
00:55:50,147 --> 00:55:52,614
Did I get puke on your cock?
1452
00:55:52,616 --> 00:55:54,216
Don't worry about it.
I like it.
1453
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,453
Think that's enough?
1454
00:55:57,455 --> 00:56:00,055
Maybe a few more
would be sexier.
1455
00:56:00,057 --> 00:56:01,223
You got it, juicy jugs.
1456
00:56:01,225 --> 00:56:02,825
Let me just check on the gang.
1457
00:56:02,827 --> 00:56:05,361
Make sure everyone
is nice and cozy.
1458
00:56:05,363 --> 00:56:06,995
Everybody?
1459
00:56:06,997 --> 00:56:08,297
Everybody doin' okay down there?
1460
00:56:08,299 --> 00:56:09,798
No.
1461
00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:11,233
Yeah, I love sleepin'
in chairs.
1462
00:56:11,235 --> 00:56:12,401
All right.
1463
00:56:12,403 --> 00:56:14,203
G'night everybody.
Sleep tight.
1464
00:56:14,205 --> 00:56:16,238
That is inevitable.
Love you guys.
1465
00:56:16,240 --> 00:56:18,140
Kurt, do you hear
a coyote or something?
1466
00:56:18,142 --> 00:56:20,509
No, this-
this is not even camp,
1467
00:56:20,511 --> 00:56:21,677
it's Cabin in the Woods.
1468
00:56:25,082 --> 00:56:26,181
Are they fucking up there?
1469
00:56:26,183 --> 00:56:27,316
It's not that bad.
1470
00:56:27,318 --> 00:56:29,651
It's actually kinda romantic
if you think about it.
1471
00:56:33,023 --> 00:56:35,324
Oh no!
- Get that off me.
1472
00:56:35,326 --> 00:56:36,325
Start slowly.
1473
00:56:36,327 --> 00:56:37,593
Yep. Definitely having sex.
1474
00:56:37,595 --> 00:56:39,528
Slow down, slow down,
or I'm gonna come early.
1475
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:42,331
Bleh, bleh.
It's in my mouth.
1476
00:56:42,333 --> 00:56:43,499
Sorry!
For what?
1477
00:56:43,501 --> 00:56:45,234
Do you smell something?
- What?
1478
00:56:45,236 --> 00:56:46,268
Yeah! Yeah!
1479
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,207
It looks worse than it is,
I think, Kurt.
1480
00:56:52,209 --> 00:56:54,143
It's completely engulfed
in flames.
1481
00:56:54,145 --> 00:56:58,046
They're gonna save your place,
I promise you.
1482
00:56:58,048 --> 00:57:00,282
Your place is toast.
- Shit.
1483
00:57:00,284 --> 00:57:02,751
But I did manage to save
your family albums.
1484
00:57:06,756 --> 00:57:08,357
Well, I tried.
1485
00:57:09,859 --> 00:57:12,227
Oh, man, those albums were old
1486
00:57:12,229 --> 00:57:13,729
and you're barely in them,
1487
00:57:13,731 --> 00:57:15,364
and listen, don't worry,
don't worry about it, okay?
1488
00:57:15,366 --> 00:57:17,466
I will rebuild it
with my own bare hands.
1489
00:57:17,468 --> 00:57:18,967
I took wood shop
in high school -
1490
00:57:18,969 --> 00:57:20,369
Aah! I'm gonna kill you!
1491
00:57:20,371 --> 00:57:22,438
It was an accident!
- You're an accident!
1492
00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:23,906
I only used that many candles
1493
00:57:23,908 --> 00:57:25,741
'cause it made Mel's body
look so fine.
1494
00:57:25,743 --> 00:57:27,376
I mean, wouldn't you?
- Go away!
1495
00:57:27,378 --> 00:57:28,911
Go away forever
and don't come back!
1496
00:57:28,913 --> 00:57:30,779
You don't mean that.
- Yes he does!
1497
00:57:30,781 --> 00:57:32,181
We all do.
1498
00:57:33,416 --> 00:57:35,117
Rafe?
1499
00:57:35,119 --> 00:57:36,785
I think you should go, Barry.
1500
00:57:36,787 --> 00:57:38,287
Seriously?
1501
00:57:38,289 --> 00:57:39,988
It's not all his fault.
1502
00:57:39,990 --> 00:57:41,990
I am just as responsible,
and I-
1503
00:57:41,992 --> 00:57:43,392
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, Mel, no, no.
1504
00:57:43,394 --> 00:57:45,461
It was an accident-
it was an accident.
1505
00:57:45,463 --> 00:57:46,962
Kurt, I promise you
1506
00:57:46,964 --> 00:57:49,431
I am not gonna burn
your cabin down anymore, okay?
1507
00:57:49,433 --> 00:57:50,399
Obviously, Barry!
1508
00:57:50,401 --> 00:57:53,001
That's impossible!
There's only one!
1509
00:57:53,003 --> 00:57:54,136
What about "Pals forever"?
1510
00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:55,804
Stop saying that!
- Why?
1511
00:57:55,806 --> 00:57:57,673
Because it's just a stupid
motto from camp
1512
00:57:57,675 --> 00:57:58,640
and it doesn't mean anything.
1513
00:57:58,642 --> 00:57:59,908
Des, babe, let's-
- Rachel!
1514
00:57:59,910 --> 00:58:01,310
It means something to me.
1515
00:58:01,312 --> 00:58:03,078
Get it straight, Barry,
1516
00:58:03,080 --> 00:58:06,415
you ruined our trip
and we want you gone.
1517
00:58:06,417 --> 00:58:09,318
And you can take your
inappropriate girlfriend with you.
1518
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:11,153
What do you mean
my inappropriate girlfriend?
1519
00:58:11,155 --> 00:58:12,621
She's a train wreck, dude.
1520
00:58:12,623 --> 00:58:14,323
Yeah, nobody likes her.
1521
00:58:14,325 --> 00:58:16,358
She's just as bad as you are.
1522
00:58:16,360 --> 00:58:18,894
Face it, she is a Barry,
Barry.
1523
00:58:20,430 --> 00:58:21,830
What's a Barry?
- What's a-
1524
00:58:21,832 --> 00:58:24,199
I'll tell you what a Barry
is, Barry.
1525
00:58:24,201 --> 00:58:26,201
A Barry is a person
with no couth,
1526
00:58:26,203 --> 00:58:27,769
no sense of propriety.
1527
00:58:27,771 --> 00:58:29,438
It's a person
who gets you fired,
1528
00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,139
destroys your relationships,
1529
00:58:31,141 --> 00:58:34,610
and pretty much ruins
everything in your entire life!
1530
00:58:34,612 --> 00:58:39,014
Okay, look, I don't care
what you think of me,
1531
00:58:39,016 --> 00:58:41,383
but Barry has been nothing
but an amazing friend
1532
00:58:41,385 --> 00:58:42,584
to you all.
1533
00:58:42,586 --> 00:58:43,852
Oh, really?
1534
00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:45,954
'Cause from where I'm sitting,
he's ruined everything.
1535
00:58:45,956 --> 00:58:47,389
We didn't mean to do it.
1536
00:58:47,391 --> 00:58:49,391
It doesn't matter
what you mean to do.
1537
00:58:49,393 --> 00:58:51,793
What matters is what you do do.
1538
00:58:52,730 --> 00:58:54,463
Doo-doo.
1539
00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:56,632
Mel, grow up.
1540
00:58:56,634 --> 00:58:57,833
Come on.
1541
00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:00,035
Guys, guys. It's me.
It's Barry, okay?
1542
00:59:00,037 --> 00:59:02,638
It's your best friend.
Let's- let's talk about this.
1543
00:59:02,640 --> 00:59:04,540
Friends stick by each other
no matter what.
1544
00:59:04,542 --> 00:59:06,475
I mean even- even through
cabin fires, right?
1545
00:59:06,477 --> 00:59:09,545
Well, there's a limit to what
we can handle, Barry.
1546
00:59:09,547 --> 00:59:11,947
Why do you think we tried
so hard to find you a wife?
1547
00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:16,084
It's because we were trying
to get rid of you!
1548
00:59:18,422 --> 00:59:21,423
♪ ♪
1549
00:59:24,661 --> 00:59:26,995
That's why you did it?
1550
00:59:26,997 --> 00:59:29,097
You guys wanted
to get rid of me?
1551
00:59:34,337 --> 00:59:35,604
I see.
1552
00:59:37,674 --> 00:59:39,308
Let's get out of here, man.
1553
00:59:46,449 --> 00:59:50,619
♪ ♪
1554
01:00:02,465 --> 01:00:04,433
Those guys are assholes.
1555
01:00:04,435 --> 01:00:06,501
No, they're not assholes.
I'm the asshole.
1556
01:00:07,604 --> 01:00:09,471
Well, I think they're assholes.
1557
01:00:09,473 --> 01:00:12,274
Stop calling them assholes.
They're my friends.
1558
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:14,610
Friends stand by each other,
remember?
1559
01:00:14,612 --> 01:00:17,245
So do boyfriends,
by the way.
1560
01:00:17,247 --> 01:00:18,413
What?
1561
01:00:19,148 --> 01:00:21,216
Where- where is that
coming from?
1562
01:00:23,553 --> 01:00:24,553
Really?
1563
01:00:25,488 --> 01:00:26,455
What, Mel?
1564
01:00:26,457 --> 01:00:27,756
What- what-
1565
01:00:27,758 --> 01:00:29,891
what was I supposed to say?
1566
01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:31,560
Well, I don't think
1567
01:00:31,562 --> 01:00:32,661
you were supposed to tell me
to grow up.
1568
01:00:32,663 --> 01:00:33,962
I see. Okay.
1569
01:00:33,964 --> 01:00:36,231
So this is about you now,
obviously.
1570
01:00:36,233 --> 01:00:39,501
My best friends,
my lifelong best friends,
1571
01:00:39,503 --> 01:00:40,936
just ripped my heart
out of my chest
1572
01:00:40,938 --> 01:00:43,071
and told me that
they never wanna see me again
1573
01:00:43,073 --> 01:00:44,439
and you're fucking crying?
- I-
1574
01:00:44,441 --> 01:00:45,607
You're hurt?!
1575
01:00:45,609 --> 01:00:47,242
You're the one who's hurt?!
1576
01:00:48,077 --> 01:00:50,545
First of all, I am not crying.
1577
01:00:52,415 --> 01:00:56,485
Barry, I'm not crying,
but my feelings were hurt
1578
01:00:56,487 --> 01:00:58,153
because your lifelong
best friends
1579
01:00:58,155 --> 01:00:59,488
said some not very nice
things about me.
1580
01:00:59,490 --> 01:01:00,455
That hurt you?
1581
01:01:00,457 --> 01:01:02,758
Yes, it did.
And you didn't say anything.
1582
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,159
Wai-
1583
01:01:05,928 --> 01:01:07,429
...did you agree with them?
1584
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:11,700
No.
1585
01:01:14,637 --> 01:01:16,304
That wasn't very convincing.
1586
01:01:16,306 --> 01:01:18,674
Well, maybe there's
a kernel of truth to it, Mel.
1587
01:01:20,977 --> 01:01:22,010
What's that mean?
1588
01:01:22,012 --> 01:01:24,179
I'm saying
it can't be a coincidence
1589
01:01:24,181 --> 01:01:26,715
that the-the first time
I bring you up to the cabin
1590
01:01:26,717 --> 01:01:28,150
my friends dump me.
1591
01:01:28,152 --> 01:01:29,351
Oh...
1592
01:01:29,353 --> 01:01:31,887
So, okay, so it's-
this is all my fault.
1593
01:01:31,889 --> 01:01:33,522
Yes, it's your fault, okay?
1594
01:01:33,524 --> 01:01:35,657
My life was perfect
before I met you.
1595
01:01:35,659 --> 01:01:36,825
It was perfection.
- What?
1596
01:01:36,827 --> 01:01:38,493
And now it's a big old
pile of shit.
1597
01:01:38,495 --> 01:01:40,996
Barry, did you say your life
was perfect before me?
1598
01:01:40,998 --> 01:01:43,699
Because I thought you had
no job, and no relationship,
1599
01:01:43,701 --> 01:01:45,901
and your friends still wanted
to get rid of you.
1600
01:01:45,903 --> 01:01:47,969
Well that worked for me, Mel.
1601
01:01:47,971 --> 01:01:48,770
Okay?!
1602
01:01:48,772 --> 01:01:51,540
You're a dick.
- Oh, now I'm a dick.
1603
01:01:51,542 --> 01:01:54,176
Yes, Barry.
You know, if the dick fits.
1604
01:01:54,178 --> 01:01:57,245
Well I think you know
the dick fits.
1605
01:01:57,247 --> 01:01:58,480
Please never ever
call me again.
1606
01:01:58,482 --> 01:01:59,815
Oh, that's fine.
1607
01:01:59,817 --> 01:02:02,851
I'll
neva eva eva call you again.
1608
01:02:02,853 --> 01:02:04,019
I'll neva.
1609
01:02:04,021 --> 01:02:06,054
I wouldn't dream of it, Mel.
1610
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:07,589
Mel!
1611
01:02:13,896 --> 01:02:15,097
Fuck.
1612
01:02:17,066 --> 01:02:19,000
I kinda feel bad for the guy.
1613
01:02:19,869 --> 01:02:21,603
Look, it's not
what any of us wanted,
1614
01:02:21,605 --> 01:02:23,071
but it had to happen.
1615
01:02:23,073 --> 01:02:24,873
Yeah, it did.
1616
01:02:24,875 --> 01:02:28,210
Let's face it, our friendship
with Barry has run its course.
1617
01:02:28,212 --> 01:02:29,778
It's just time we move on
with our lives,
1618
01:02:29,780 --> 01:02:30,612
you know what I mean?
1619
01:02:34,784 --> 01:02:36,084
Oh.
1620
01:02:36,953 --> 01:02:38,520
Who's that?
1621
01:02:38,522 --> 01:02:40,689
It's one of the, uh, agencies
I applied to.
1622
01:02:40,691 --> 01:02:42,624
Be right back.
1623
01:02:42,626 --> 01:02:43,759
Hello?
1624
01:02:45,194 --> 01:02:47,963
They loved my reel
and just won two new accounts.
1625
01:02:47,965 --> 01:02:49,264
I start Monday.
1626
01:02:49,266 --> 01:02:51,133
Oh my God, baby,
I am so proud of you.
1627
01:02:51,135 --> 01:02:53,235
That's awesome.
- I know!
1628
01:02:53,237 --> 01:02:54,536
You go ahead.
I'll be up in a bit.
1629
01:02:54,538 --> 01:02:55,637
What are you gonna do?
1630
01:02:55,639 --> 01:02:57,139
Ah, I'm just gonna jot down
some campaign ideas
1631
01:02:57,141 --> 01:02:58,774
before I forget.
1632
01:02:59,208 --> 01:03:00,675
I won't be long.
1633
01:03:04,113 --> 01:03:06,314
This is kind of
an unusual date.
1634
01:03:06,316 --> 01:03:10,118
No, it- it's romantic
and- and fun and, you know,
1635
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:11,453
I couldn't find a sitter, so.
1636
01:03:11,455 --> 01:03:13,822
I think he wants
to play baseball.
1637
01:03:13,824 --> 01:03:15,891
That's what the mitt's for,
Dad.
1638
01:03:15,893 --> 01:03:18,627
Right, but this is something
we all can do together.
1639
01:03:18,629 --> 01:03:21,563
And then when he goes to bed,
you can stick around,
1640
01:03:21,565 --> 01:03:22,564
we'll have some wine.
1641
01:03:22,566 --> 01:03:23,899
I'm gonna go.
- Why?
1642
01:03:23,901 --> 01:03:26,768
You need to be with your son
and, honestly,
1643
01:03:26,770 --> 01:03:28,770
I'm not ready for this.
1644
01:03:28,772 --> 01:03:29,938
Bye, JT.
- Bye.
1645
01:03:29,940 --> 01:03:32,841
Sarah, really?
You're seriously leaving?
1646
01:03:38,681 --> 01:03:40,482
I guess it's just you and me,
bud.
1647
01:03:40,484 --> 01:03:42,751
Cool.
- Yeah, cool.
1648
01:03:45,588 --> 01:03:47,455
You wanna just order a pizza?
1649
01:03:47,457 --> 01:03:48,757
Yeah.
1650
01:03:48,759 --> 01:03:51,159
♪ ♪
1651
01:03:51,161 --> 01:03:54,129
Desmond, the client
loves the campaign,
1652
01:03:54,131 --> 01:03:55,297
so we're a go.
- Awesome!
1653
01:03:55,299 --> 01:03:56,665
I'll drop by your office later
1654
01:03:56,667 --> 01:03:58,099
and we'll talk about
the production schedule.
1655
01:03:58,101 --> 01:03:59,267
Okay.
- Great job, man.
1656
01:03:59,269 --> 01:04:00,702
Thank you.
1657
01:04:00,704 --> 01:04:02,237
Ah.
1658
01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:04,573
Huh.
1659
01:04:05,541 --> 01:04:08,610
Oh, and Desmond,
this is just a silly formality,
1660
01:04:08,612 --> 01:04:10,645
but because of
our new parent company...
1661
01:04:10,647 --> 01:04:12,981
...HR needs you to take
a drug test.
1662
01:04:12,983 --> 01:04:15,884
Okay... no problem.
1663
01:04:22,559 --> 01:04:25,594
♪ ♪
1664
01:05:19,850 --> 01:05:22,918
♪ ♪
1665
01:05:49,045 --> 01:05:50,645
Bend your knees a little.
1666
01:05:50,647 --> 01:05:52,247
Elbow up like this.
1667
01:05:52,249 --> 01:05:54,983
You stare down that pitcher,
you stare him in the eye.
1668
01:05:54,985 --> 01:05:56,818
Oh, hey!
1669
01:05:57,620 --> 01:05:59,421
Bases are loaded,
bottom of the ninth,
1670
01:05:59,423 --> 01:06:02,624
crowd's on its feet.
Here's the pitch!
1671
01:06:02,626 --> 01:06:04,392
Boom!
1672
01:06:04,394 --> 01:06:05,760
Deep center!
1673
01:06:05,762 --> 01:06:08,797
Let's do that again!
- Do it again. All right.
1674
01:06:08,799 --> 01:06:10,799
Okay, everybody who has
a pair of scissors near them
1675
01:06:10,801 --> 01:06:12,300
pick them up, all right?
1676
01:06:12,302 --> 01:06:13,802
I'd like you to put them
on this finger,
1677
01:06:13,804 --> 01:06:16,438
your index finger right here,
and start twirling.
1678
01:06:16,440 --> 01:06:19,274
Do it, do it, get your scissors,
come on, all right?
1679
01:06:19,276 --> 01:06:21,843
This is the exact wrong way to
handle a pair of scissors, okay?
1680
01:06:21,845 --> 01:06:23,411
Don't ever let me catch you
doing this!
1681
01:06:23,413 --> 01:06:24,946
Put 'em down. Put 'em down.
1682
01:06:24,948 --> 01:06:27,649
Okay, put it on your finger
again. Spin it around.
1683
01:06:27,651 --> 01:06:30,285
You fail!
I just said don't do that!
1684
01:06:30,287 --> 01:06:31,820
Listen, guys, if you don't
start working harder,
1685
01:06:31,822 --> 01:06:33,521
I'm gonna take each and every
one of you individually
1686
01:06:33,523 --> 01:06:35,190
to the outhouse and I'm gonna
fart on your face.
1687
01:06:37,427 --> 01:06:41,029
♪ ♪
1688
01:06:59,883 --> 01:07:01,783
Hm?
- Hey.
1689
01:07:02,318 --> 01:07:03,518
Baby, wake up.
1690
01:07:03,520 --> 01:07:04,719
What time is it?
1691
01:07:04,721 --> 01:07:06,688
Three a. m.
1692
01:07:06,690 --> 01:07:08,123
What? Is everything okay?
1693
01:07:08,125 --> 01:07:09,324
Are you all right?
- No. Mm-hmm.
1694
01:07:09,326 --> 01:07:11,793
What's wrong?
- I have cotton mouth.
1695
01:07:11,795 --> 01:07:12,994
What?
1696
01:07:12,996 --> 01:07:14,295
I need juice.
1697
01:07:15,131 --> 01:07:18,500
There's water on the nightstand.
- Juice.
1698
01:07:18,502 --> 01:07:20,135
Okay, I'll get you some
from the fridge.
1699
01:07:20,137 --> 01:07:22,737
I need the Golden Acres juice.
1700
01:07:22,739 --> 01:07:25,874
You know, the one with the
organic farm on the label.
1701
01:07:25,876 --> 01:07:28,143
You know, the one that I like.
1702
01:07:29,378 --> 01:07:32,714
Uh, okay,
I'll buy some tomorrow.
1703
01:07:32,716 --> 01:07:34,849
I need it now.
1704
01:07:35,684 --> 01:07:37,819
You- you want me to go
get you some now?
1705
01:07:37,821 --> 01:07:39,387
Mm-hmm.
1706
01:07:39,389 --> 01:07:40,121
You...
1707
01:07:40,123 --> 01:07:42,891
...just to clarify, you want me
to get up
1708
01:07:42,893 --> 01:07:45,360
and walk eleven blocks
at three in the morning
1709
01:07:45,362 --> 01:07:47,062
to get you specific juice?
1710
01:07:48,064 --> 01:07:50,765
Maybe we shouldn't have
gotten back together.
1711
01:07:50,767 --> 01:07:52,200
What are you saying?
Don't say that.
1712
01:07:52,202 --> 01:07:56,438
Every other boyfriend
woulda done this for me.
1713
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:02,343
All right.
1714
01:08:02,345 --> 01:08:03,378
Yeah.
1715
01:08:03,380 --> 01:08:04,612
All right, yeah.
1716
01:08:04,614 --> 01:08:07,115
I got ya.
I'm getting up.
1717
01:08:08,551 --> 01:08:11,186
I am getting up
and I am getting dressed.
1718
01:08:11,188 --> 01:08:12,320
Thanks.
1719
01:08:12,955 --> 01:08:14,956
And I'm walkin' out the door.
1720
01:08:14,958 --> 01:08:15,890
Thanks, sweetie.
1721
01:08:15,892 --> 01:08:17,725
To my place.
1722
01:08:17,727 --> 01:08:18,927
What?
1723
01:08:18,929 --> 01:08:21,362
You know, Barry was right.
1724
01:08:22,098 --> 01:08:23,965
You don't deserve me.
1725
01:08:24,934 --> 01:08:26,101
Barry's never right.
1726
01:08:26,103 --> 01:08:27,368
Barry,
1727
01:08:27,370 --> 01:08:29,804
I will admit, he has
a poor batting average,
1728
01:08:29,806 --> 01:08:32,040
but he is right
in this instance!
1729
01:08:32,042 --> 01:08:32,974
Why are you getting so angry?
1730
01:08:32,976 --> 01:08:34,742
Because I am a treasure,
Camille,
1731
01:08:34,744 --> 01:08:36,878
and you're a bad pirate.
1732
01:08:37,613 --> 01:08:38,880
What?
1733
01:08:39,615 --> 01:08:41,116
You're joking, right?
1734
01:08:41,118 --> 01:08:43,084
I'll tell you something else.
1735
01:08:43,086 --> 01:08:45,253
No one, in their right mind,
unless they're insane,
1736
01:08:45,255 --> 01:08:47,422
paints this many pictures
of themselves.
1737
01:08:47,424 --> 01:08:48,823
I'm beautiful.
1738
01:08:48,825 --> 01:08:50,959
No, you're a madman.
1739
01:08:50,961 --> 01:08:52,227
I love me.
1740
01:08:52,229 --> 01:08:53,928
Not anymore.
1741
01:08:53,930 --> 01:08:56,898
Last thing, 'cause I know
I've been back and forth a bit,
1742
01:08:56,900 --> 01:09:00,235
no woman who knows her body,
like you claim to do,
1743
01:09:00,237 --> 01:09:02,137
takes an hour and a half
to orgasm.
1744
01:09:02,139 --> 01:09:06,007
That's too much work and
I'm down there munching away.
1745
01:09:06,009 --> 01:09:07,809
So look at me now, Camille.
1746
01:09:07,811 --> 01:09:10,145
Look at me, this is what
a man looks like.
1747
01:09:10,147 --> 01:09:12,080
This is what it looks like,
okay?
1748
01:09:12,082 --> 01:09:13,181
This is what it looks like
1749
01:09:13,183 --> 01:09:15,650
with a man who now has
his dignity back.
1750
01:09:15,652 --> 01:09:16,918
Goodbye, Camille.
1751
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:20,155
Now you have to eat
your own stew...
1752
01:09:20,157 --> 01:09:21,890
...'cause-
1753
01:09:45,147 --> 01:09:46,781
Wow.
1754
01:09:47,383 --> 01:09:48,716
It seems like you miss him.
1755
01:09:48,718 --> 01:09:50,351
Uh...
1756
01:09:50,686 --> 01:09:52,020
...no.
1757
01:09:52,655 --> 01:09:54,522
No, I don't, not really.
1758
01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:58,126
I just...
1759
01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:01,563
...I never met anyone
I felt so connected to
1760
01:10:01,565 --> 01:10:03,598
in my entire life.
1761
01:10:04,733 --> 01:10:08,937
And, so, it hurts a bit.
1762
01:10:10,172 --> 01:10:13,007
Because I thought
he was different.
1763
01:10:13,009 --> 01:10:16,110
But he wasn't and that's fine.
1764
01:10:18,214 --> 01:10:20,715
There's a new tech guy
at my office.
1765
01:10:20,717 --> 01:10:22,250
I could introduce you.
1766
01:10:22,252 --> 01:10:23,918
What do ya think?
1767
01:10:26,155 --> 01:10:31,426
I think I am not going to
let myself get hurt anymore.
1768
01:10:31,428 --> 01:10:33,161
But thanks.
1769
01:10:35,097 --> 01:10:36,965
Thank you.
1770
01:10:45,774 --> 01:10:47,542
Hey, what's going on?
1771
01:10:47,544 --> 01:10:50,245
I thought we were gonna
sleep in.
1772
01:10:50,247 --> 01:10:52,213
Yeah, I can't sleep.
1773
01:10:52,215 --> 01:10:55,183
My boss wants me to take
a drug test.
1774
01:10:55,185 --> 01:10:56,784
I'm gonna lose my job.
1775
01:11:00,122 --> 01:11:01,256
Okay.
1776
01:11:02,225 --> 01:11:03,858
We'll figure something out.
1777
01:11:07,096 --> 01:11:10,732
But you have to
promise something.
1778
01:11:10,734 --> 01:11:12,367
What?
What?
1779
01:11:12,369 --> 01:11:13,835
Okay, look, um...
1780
01:11:14,803 --> 01:11:17,905
You love your job just as much
as I love my job.
1781
01:11:17,907 --> 01:11:18,940
Yeah.
1782
01:11:20,142 --> 01:11:22,110
But I feel like things were
just starting to get good again
1783
01:11:22,112 --> 01:11:23,945
and now we're kind of like
slipping back
1784
01:11:23,947 --> 01:11:26,281
into that bad place,
you know what I mean?
1785
01:11:27,383 --> 01:11:28,583
I do.
1786
01:11:28,585 --> 01:11:29,384
Yeah.
1787
01:11:29,386 --> 01:11:31,819
Okay, so let's just make a deal.
1788
01:11:31,821 --> 01:11:33,121
You don't work weekends
1789
01:11:33,123 --> 01:11:35,323
and we'll both take
our vacation days.
1790
01:11:35,325 --> 01:11:36,991
Does that sound good?
1791
01:11:36,993 --> 01:11:38,259
Yeah, yeah.
1792
01:11:38,261 --> 01:11:39,460
That sounds good.
1793
01:11:40,262 --> 01:11:41,629
I love you.
1794
01:11:41,631 --> 01:11:43,164
Mmm.
1795
01:11:43,166 --> 01:11:44,399
I'm still gonna get fired.
1796
01:11:44,401 --> 01:11:46,801
No... 'cause I've got a plan.
1797
01:11:49,471 --> 01:11:51,439
Strictly week days, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
1798
01:11:51,441 --> 01:11:54,142
We, uh, found some balance.
1799
01:11:54,843 --> 01:11:56,244
I dumped Camille.
- Really?
1800
01:11:56,246 --> 01:11:58,413
Yeah, I- I think
I can do better.
1801
01:11:58,415 --> 01:11:59,447
Wow.
1802
01:11:59,449 --> 01:12:00,515
We never liked her.
1803
01:12:00,517 --> 01:12:02,250
Not even a bit.
- Barry mentioned that.
1804
01:12:02,252 --> 01:12:04,819
She was a straight-up
bizznussneeznashnush.
1805
01:12:04,821 --> 01:12:06,854
She offered me a blow job once.
1806
01:12:06,856 --> 01:12:09,090
Too soon.
- She offered. I said no.
1807
01:12:09,092 --> 01:12:10,158
Rafe, how's dating?
1808
01:12:10,160 --> 01:12:11,526
Uh, haven't been.
1809
01:12:11,528 --> 01:12:14,195
Without Barry I've been
spending a ton of time with JT.
1810
01:12:14,197 --> 01:12:15,963
The kid's great.
1811
01:12:15,965 --> 01:12:17,832
He does miss Barry, though.
1812
01:12:17,834 --> 01:12:20,802
I mean I don't, at all, no.
1813
01:12:20,804 --> 01:12:22,637
The guy was a nightmare.
1814
01:12:22,639 --> 01:12:25,206
It's so much easier
without him around.
1815
01:12:25,208 --> 01:12:26,641
No more messes to clean up.
1816
01:12:26,643 --> 01:12:27,642
No more hassles.
1817
01:12:27,644 --> 01:12:30,178
No one to apologize for.
1818
01:12:30,180 --> 01:12:32,180
No one to apologize for.
1819
01:12:34,850 --> 01:12:36,284
It kinda sucks.
1820
01:12:36,286 --> 01:12:37,685
Yeah.
1821
01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:39,087
Totally.
1822
01:12:42,157 --> 01:12:43,691
I'm just so bummed, you know,
1823
01:12:43,693 --> 01:12:45,293
not only was she a really
fantastic girl,
1824
01:12:45,295 --> 01:12:51,232
but she had... these great,
big juicy jugs, you know?
1825
01:12:51,234 --> 01:12:53,134
Just showstoppers.
1826
01:12:53,136 --> 01:12:54,802
Oh...
1827
01:12:54,804 --> 01:12:56,170
someone's at my door.
I- I gotta go.
1828
01:12:56,172 --> 01:12:57,305
I'll call you later,
okay Grandma?
1829
01:12:57,307 --> 01:12:58,906
I love you. Bye.
1830
01:13:02,211 --> 01:13:03,778
Hey.
1831
01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:06,714
What are you guys doing here?
1832
01:13:06,716 --> 01:13:08,116
Can we talk?
1833
01:13:10,986 --> 01:13:12,019
Uh...
1834
01:13:12,821 --> 01:13:14,655
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
come on in.
1835
01:13:16,525 --> 01:13:19,927
And when we say we are sorry
about everything we said and did
1836
01:13:19,929 --> 01:13:21,262
we really mean it.
1837
01:13:21,264 --> 01:13:22,864
What we said was mean.
1838
01:13:22,866 --> 01:13:24,899
And the stuff we said
about Mel, too.
1839
01:13:24,901 --> 01:13:26,267
I mean she didn't deserve that.
1840
01:13:26,269 --> 01:13:28,503
Yeah, she didn't deserve that.
She's a sweetheart.
1841
01:13:28,505 --> 01:13:29,937
But I'll relay that message
to her
1842
01:13:29,939 --> 01:13:31,406
if I ever talk to her again.
1843
01:13:32,074 --> 01:13:33,274
We want you back, Barry.
1844
01:13:33,276 --> 01:13:34,909
We're your friends, Barry.
Always.
1845
01:13:34,911 --> 01:13:38,112
No matter what ridiculous,
obnoxious, inane,
1846
01:13:38,114 --> 01:13:39,747
stupid thing you might do.
1847
01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:42,250
Yeah, I probably will do
something like that.
1848
01:13:42,252 --> 01:13:44,352
Barry, will you forgive us?
1849
01:13:45,621 --> 01:13:47,188
I don't think so.
1850
01:13:48,257 --> 01:13:50,425
Now I want you guys to get
out of my house right now.
1851
01:13:50,427 --> 01:13:52,727
Get outta here!
1852
01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:55,229
I'm kidding! I'm kidding.
I'm kidding, guys.
1853
01:13:55,231 --> 01:13:56,798
Oh my God I got goose bumps.
1854
01:13:56,800 --> 01:13:58,232
Like, I could barely
pull that off.
1855
01:13:58,234 --> 01:13:59,200
Did you guys see that?
1856
01:13:59,202 --> 01:14:00,134
Ah!
- Yeah.
1857
01:14:00,136 --> 01:14:01,269
So, pals forever?
1858
01:14:01,271 --> 01:14:02,303
Dick tattoos, finally?
1859
01:14:02,305 --> 01:14:03,371
Are we gonna do it?
No.
1860
01:14:03,373 --> 01:14:06,073
You get a tattoo of a dick
on your dick
1861
01:14:06,075 --> 01:14:07,942
and on the tattoo of the dick
on your dick
1862
01:14:07,944 --> 01:14:09,277
it says, "Pals forever. "
1863
01:14:09,279 --> 01:14:10,378
I'm mainly concerned
about the pain.
1864
01:14:10,380 --> 01:14:11,546
That'a the point!
1865
01:14:11,548 --> 01:14:12,747
Asshole!
1866
01:14:14,384 --> 01:14:16,150
I love it when you get this guy.
1867
01:14:16,152 --> 01:14:17,318
Look at you!
1868
01:14:21,757 --> 01:14:25,493
And I knew that if I
just concentrated hard enough,
1869
01:14:25,495 --> 01:14:26,594
believed hard enough,
1870
01:14:26,596 --> 01:14:29,230
You didn't
revive the possum, Kurt.
1871
01:14:29,232 --> 01:14:31,666
That's what they do.
They play possum.
1872
01:14:31,668 --> 01:14:33,100
You never heard of
playing possum?
1873
01:14:33,102 --> 01:14:35,236
No, why would you wanna play
with a dead animal?
1874
01:14:35,238 --> 01:14:37,004
They're not dead.
They're pretending to be dead.
1875
01:14:37,006 --> 01:14:39,440
You did not revive that animal.
1876
01:14:39,442 --> 01:14:43,110
Rafe, maybe you're not
understanding me.
1877
01:14:43,112 --> 01:14:46,280
You don't have the powers
to revive dead animals.
1878
01:14:46,282 --> 01:14:47,315
Whatcha got there, man?
1879
01:14:47,317 --> 01:14:49,450
Hey! Hey, buddy.
1880
01:14:49,452 --> 01:14:50,485
Nothin'.
1881
01:14:50,487 --> 01:14:53,988
Just, uh... oh, uh, I, uh,
1882
01:14:53,990 --> 01:14:55,756
have something here
I've been meaning to give to you
1883
01:14:55,758 --> 01:14:57,758
for a little while.
1884
01:14:57,760 --> 01:15:01,195
It's, uh, my share of the
mail order bride.
1885
01:15:01,197 --> 01:15:03,331
Or it's a start, anyway.
1886
01:15:03,333 --> 01:15:04,632
Thanks, man.
1887
01:15:04,634 --> 01:15:08,503
I do need a wallet, but for now,
this'll have to do.
1888
01:15:08,505 --> 01:15:11,172
How are you, man?
- Good, good, good.
1889
01:15:11,174 --> 01:15:12,340
Yeah, I'm really well.
1890
01:15:12,342 --> 01:15:14,809
You know, like, uh,
things feel...
1891
01:15:14,811 --> 01:15:17,512
...uh, things feel shitty.
1892
01:15:17,514 --> 01:15:18,513
I can't get over Mel.
1893
01:15:18,515 --> 01:15:19,947
I can't stop thinking about her.
1894
01:15:19,949 --> 01:15:21,816
I'm just-
I'm a wreck.
1895
01:15:21,818 --> 01:15:23,784
You know, I- I-
1896
01:15:23,786 --> 01:15:25,720
most girls don't understand me,
Des.
1897
01:15:25,722 --> 01:15:26,554
They punch me.
1898
01:15:26,556 --> 01:15:29,357
But Mel, she got me.
1899
01:15:29,359 --> 01:15:31,025
And I blew it.
1900
01:15:31,027 --> 01:15:32,460
Well, you got us, man.
1901
01:15:32,462 --> 01:15:34,028
Yeah, I know, I know. And I-
1902
01:15:34,030 --> 01:15:35,796
I'm thrilled that we're all
hanging out together again,
1903
01:15:35,798 --> 01:15:37,431
believe me, I-I just...
1904
01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:41,469
Nobody else makes me feel
the way that she does.
1905
01:15:41,471 --> 01:15:43,070
And that's no slam to you guys,
you know?
1906
01:15:43,072 --> 01:15:44,405
Nobody makes me feel that way.
1907
01:15:44,407 --> 01:15:47,174
I- I- I've never even
considered
1908
01:15:47,176 --> 01:15:49,043
spending the rest of my life
with somebody.
1909
01:15:49,045 --> 01:15:50,411
Have you told her this?
1910
01:15:50,413 --> 01:15:52,647
What do you mean?
- Like, how you feel?
1911
01:15:52,649 --> 01:15:53,748
How would I do that?
1912
01:15:53,750 --> 01:15:56,584
I mean, what you said
sounded pretty darn good.
1913
01:15:56,586 --> 01:15:58,753
No, what?
You think?
1914
01:15:58,755 --> 01:16:00,054
Absolutely.
1915
01:16:00,056 --> 01:16:01,689
I gotta tell her, don't I?
- For sure.
1916
01:16:01,691 --> 01:16:03,891
I gotta do this. I'm gonna-
we gotta- I gotta do this.
1917
01:16:03,893 --> 01:16:04,926
I'm gonna do it on Monday.
1918
01:16:04,928 --> 01:16:06,561
Well, um, why-
why Monday?
1919
01:16:06,563 --> 01:16:09,497
Monday's way better for me.
The weekend is packed.
1920
01:16:09,499 --> 01:16:10,565
I got- I got grout.
1921
01:16:10,567 --> 01:16:13,000
I gotta transfer
all my BluRays to DVD.
1922
01:16:13,002 --> 01:16:14,902
You cannot wait 'til Monday,
Barry.
1923
01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:17,204
You've met the woman that you
wanna drive everyone crazy with
1924
01:16:17,206 --> 01:16:18,506
for the rest of your life.
1925
01:16:18,508 --> 01:16:20,708
Yeah.
- You have to be with her now.
1926
01:16:20,710 --> 01:16:22,343
I have to.
- Good.
1927
01:16:22,345 --> 01:16:23,611
Do you know where she is?
1928
01:16:23,613 --> 01:16:26,347
What's today?
- Um, Friday.
1929
01:16:26,349 --> 01:16:28,282
Yeah, I know exactly
where she is.
1930
01:16:28,284 --> 01:16:30,217
Let smile the heavens
upon this holy act
1931
01:16:30,219 --> 01:16:33,554
that after hours with sorrow
chide us not.
1932
01:16:33,556 --> 01:16:35,323
Amen.
1933
01:16:36,024 --> 01:16:38,092
But come what sorrow can.
1934
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:40,728
It cannot countervail
the exchange of joy
1935
01:16:40,730 --> 01:16:43,364
that one short minute gives
me in her sight.
1936
01:16:43,366 --> 01:16:44,565
Do we really need to be running?
1937
01:16:44,567 --> 01:16:46,534
No, it's just more romantic
this way!
1938
01:16:46,536 --> 01:16:49,537
Hey, any idea where I could
get some clean urine?
1939
01:16:49,539 --> 01:16:51,872
I have some.
Not mine, but I have some.
1940
01:16:51,874 --> 01:16:53,140
It is my ghostly confessor.
1941
01:16:53,142 --> 01:16:55,376
Romeo shall thank thee
for us both.
1942
01:16:55,378 --> 01:16:57,912
As much to him,
else is his thanks too much.
1943
01:16:57,914 --> 01:17:00,615
Ah, Juliet if the measure
of thy joy be heaped like mine
1944
01:17:00,617 --> 01:17:02,617
and that thy skill
be more to blazon
1945
01:17:02,619 --> 01:17:04,819
the imagined happiness that
both receive and...
1946
01:17:04,821 --> 01:17:07,488
Barry... Barry.
1947
01:17:07,490 --> 01:17:08,456
What?
1948
01:17:08,458 --> 01:17:09,457
There's an entrance.
1949
01:17:09,459 --> 01:17:10,658
No, it's okay,
I got in.
1950
01:17:10,660 --> 01:17:12,393
I fell in over here.
1951
01:17:12,395 --> 01:17:13,761
Do you guys know Mel Miller?
1952
01:17:13,763 --> 01:17:15,396
My true love has grown
to such excess-
1953
01:17:15,398 --> 01:17:18,065
Anybody seen Mel Miller?
Hey.
1954
01:17:18,067 --> 01:17:19,900
Comes a messenger.
1955
01:17:19,902 --> 01:17:20,735
Sorry.
1956
01:17:20,737 --> 01:17:22,436
Go to, messenger.
1957
01:17:22,438 --> 01:17:23,971
I'll have words with you later.
1958
01:17:23,973 --> 01:17:25,406
Ah!
- Oh!
1959
01:17:25,408 --> 01:17:27,174
Mel Miller?
Mel Miller?!
1960
01:17:27,176 --> 01:17:28,609
Shut up, asshole!
1961
01:17:28,611 --> 01:17:30,111
She's a British
blonde bombshell,
1962
01:17:30,113 --> 01:17:30,978
works here?
1963
01:17:30,980 --> 01:17:33,581
Listen, they both
take suicide pills
1964
01:17:33,583 --> 01:17:34,849
and they die, okay?
It's really sad.
1965
01:17:36,185 --> 01:17:38,519
You just ruined the whole play,
you idiot!
1966
01:17:38,521 --> 01:17:39,987
Oh my God. Oh, you didn't
know that?
1967
01:17:39,989 --> 01:17:41,689
Oh you guys didn't know that?
1968
01:17:41,691 --> 01:17:43,124
It's called the eighth grade,
dummies!
1969
01:17:43,126 --> 01:17:45,626
Try it some time.
It's Romeo and Juliet.
1970
01:17:45,628 --> 01:17:46,727
Ah, there she is, there's-
1971
01:17:46,729 --> 01:17:48,996
I need to talk to you,
please come here.
1972
01:17:48,998 --> 01:17:50,498
Pretend it's part of the show,
Barry, please.
1973
01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:52,466
Not until I say
some things to you.
1974
01:17:53,636 --> 01:17:55,102
This will just take a moment.
1975
01:17:55,104 --> 01:17:57,304
He's very sick.
I'm so sorry.
1976
01:17:57,306 --> 01:17:59,607
I'm sorry, this is a lovely
setting for Shakespeare.
1977
01:17:59,609 --> 01:18:00,808
Now I just need to say
a couple of things.
1978
01:18:00,810 --> 01:18:02,343
No, no, stay here.
I have to do it here!
1979
01:18:02,345 --> 01:18:03,944
I have to do it here!
1980
01:18:03,946 --> 01:18:05,613
So- sorry.
- Yes.
1981
01:18:05,615 --> 01:18:07,682
Yes.
- Sorry.
1982
01:18:09,317 --> 01:18:10,618
I-
1983
01:18:11,019 --> 01:18:13,220
I la-mmm-
1984
01:18:13,622 --> 01:18:15,556
I love- I love-
1985
01:18:16,124 --> 01:18:18,325
I love your tits.
- Oh!
1986
01:18:18,327 --> 01:18:19,560
That's- 'ey, 'ey, 'ey, 'ey!
1987
01:18:19,562 --> 01:18:20,961
That's not what I meant.
That's not what I meant.
1988
01:18:20,963 --> 01:18:22,530
I'm- I'm- I'm-
I'm not that gross.
1989
01:18:22,532 --> 01:18:24,565
I do love her tits I just-
you got great tits,
1990
01:18:24,567 --> 01:18:26,200
I love your tits.
- I know that.
1991
01:18:26,202 --> 01:18:29,036
I can do better, I- I-
- What?
1992
01:18:29,038 --> 01:18:30,905
I love- I love-
1993
01:18:31,406 --> 01:18:33,040
I love your breath...
1994
01:18:33,042 --> 01:18:34,642
even in the morning when it-
when it smells
1995
01:18:34,644 --> 01:18:36,143
like a sweaty sock.
1996
01:18:36,145 --> 01:18:37,478
I love it even more that way.
1997
01:18:37,480 --> 01:18:39,580
I just wanna climb inside
your mouth and live there.
1998
01:18:39,582 --> 01:18:41,048
I love that I could al-
I can always tell
1999
01:18:41,050 --> 01:18:42,750
what you've had for lunch
because I can taste it later
2000
01:18:42,752 --> 01:18:44,385
when we're making out.
2001
01:18:44,387 --> 01:18:46,420
And- and I love- I love that
you're so not into your looks
2002
01:18:46,422 --> 01:18:48,255
that you don't even care that
you have a daddy long legs mole
2003
01:18:48,257 --> 01:18:50,057
growing under your arm
and it's got little whiskers
2004
01:18:50,059 --> 01:18:51,358
and you never pluck 'em.
2005
01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:53,160
It's disgusting.
- I do.
2006
01:18:53,162 --> 01:18:57,398
And I- and I- and I love, I love
that your accent is so thick I have...
2007
01:18:57,400 --> 01:18:58,666
I literally have no idea
what you're saying to me
2008
01:18:58,668 --> 01:19:00,267
half the time.
- Is that it?
2009
01:19:00,269 --> 01:19:02,236
Yeah. See, I could barely
even understand that.
2010
01:19:02,238 --> 01:19:05,539
I love that your nose whistles
every time I make you come.
2011
01:19:05,541 --> 01:19:08,242
And I- and I love that your
little nickname for my butthole
2012
01:19:08,244 --> 01:19:09,944
is my smelly button.
2013
01:19:09,946 --> 01:19:12,880
And- and- and I love that you
have to take off all your clothes
2014
01:19:12,882 --> 01:19:14,715
every time you have to
take a poo.
2015
01:19:14,717 --> 01:19:15,883
Even in public restrooms.
2016
01:19:15,885 --> 01:19:17,718
It's so adorable.
2017
01:19:17,720 --> 01:19:18,953
It takes forever.
2018
01:19:18,955 --> 01:19:20,521
And I- and I love,
I love that you have
2019
01:19:20,523 --> 01:19:23,090
a- a dedicated savings account
just for future space travel.
2020
01:19:23,092 --> 01:19:25,192
I do. Yeah, I do.
2021
01:19:25,194 --> 01:19:28,028
And- and- and I love
your little mustache.
2022
01:19:28,030 --> 01:19:29,964
I didn't know
you noticed it.
2023
01:19:29,966 --> 01:19:32,266
It's my favorite little
mustache I've ever seen.
2024
01:19:32,268 --> 01:19:34,802
Even if that makes me gay.
2025
01:19:34,804 --> 01:19:37,471
I'm gay for your 'stache.
2026
01:19:37,473 --> 01:19:39,373
I'm gay for her 'stache!
2027
01:19:40,609 --> 01:19:41,776
And...
2028
01:19:43,411 --> 01:19:45,179
...most importantly...
2029
01:19:47,716 --> 01:19:49,383
...I love you.
2030
01:19:52,621 --> 01:19:53,888
Barry!
2031
01:19:55,757 --> 01:19:57,758
How am I supposed to
stay angry with you
2032
01:19:57,760 --> 01:19:59,827
when you say stuff like that?
2033
01:20:00,729 --> 01:20:02,329
You're not.
2034
01:20:06,435 --> 01:20:09,336
♪ ♪
2035
01:20:24,853 --> 01:20:28,022
You can tell they make love
really passionately.
2036
01:20:28,024 --> 01:20:30,224
Mmm, mmm.
2037
01:20:34,629 --> 01:20:35,830
That's enough.
2038
01:20:35,832 --> 01:20:37,698
You're married,
we get it.
2039
01:20:40,268 --> 01:20:41,502
There we go.
2040
01:20:41,504 --> 01:20:42,670
What'd you expect?
2041
01:20:42,672 --> 01:20:43,938
I've seen enough.
2042
01:20:43,940 --> 01:20:45,539
I'm never gonna
get used to that.
2043
01:20:45,541 --> 01:20:46,674
Tell me about it.
2044
01:20:46,676 --> 01:20:48,509
Oh, hey.
- Hi.
2045
01:20:48,511 --> 01:20:50,477
I- I- I'm Kurt.
- Paige.
2046
01:20:50,479 --> 01:20:52,680
Oh, are- are you-
- I'm Mel's roommate.
2047
01:20:52,682 --> 01:20:54,114
Oh, hi.
2048
01:20:56,551 --> 01:20:58,953
Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
I'm on solo duty.
2049
01:20:58,955 --> 01:21:01,055
Oh, same here,
I know what you mean.
2050
01:21:01,057 --> 01:21:02,723
Hey, JT, over here!
2051
01:21:02,725 --> 01:21:04,124
Come on, Dad!
2052
01:21:04,126 --> 01:21:05,893
We, ooh- uh,
2053
01:21:06,494 --> 01:21:07,962
Call me.
We'll get coffee.
2054
01:21:07,964 --> 01:21:08,896
But weekdays only.
2055
01:21:08,898 --> 01:21:11,131
Weekends are guy time.
2056
01:21:11,133 --> 01:21:12,399
I really can't wait for,
like,
2057
01:21:12,401 --> 01:21:14,201
all these people to get
out of my house.
2058
01:21:14,203 --> 01:21:15,736
Yeah, it's a lot of people.
2059
01:21:15,738 --> 01:21:17,304
I think someone's
gonna steal something.
2060
01:21:17,306 --> 01:21:19,740
Yeah, I saw a couple people
eyeing some things.
2061
01:21:19,742 --> 01:21:20,741
I saw you talking to Paige.
2062
01:21:20,743 --> 01:21:22,810
Um, yeah, she's nice.
2063
01:21:22,812 --> 01:21:24,812
It might take
some getting used to but...
2064
01:21:24,814 --> 01:21:26,814
Hey, JT.
- What up, bitches?
2065
01:21:26,816 --> 01:21:28,816
Oh, yo.
- I mean, hey guys.
2066
01:21:28,818 --> 01:21:30,150
I'm still trying to un-teach him
2067
01:21:30,152 --> 01:21:31,819
some of the things that Barry
taught him.
2068
01:21:31,821 --> 01:21:33,921
Uncle Desmond, how'd your
science project go?
2069
01:21:33,923 --> 01:21:35,322
What science project?
2070
01:21:35,324 --> 01:21:36,891
The one that you needed
my pee for.
2071
01:21:36,893 --> 01:21:39,360
Oh, right, um...
2072
01:21:39,362 --> 01:21:40,828
I aced it, man.
2073
01:21:40,830 --> 01:21:41,929
Yeah.
2074
01:21:41,931 --> 01:21:43,731
That is immoral and illegal.
2075
01:21:43,733 --> 01:21:47,735
What do we say, buddy?
- Pals forever.
2076
01:21:47,737 --> 01:21:49,837
Hope you guys don't mind.
We kind of adopted it.
2077
01:21:49,839 --> 01:21:51,839
It's plagiarism.
Technically.
2078
01:21:51,841 --> 01:21:53,641
Shoulda checked with us before
2079
01:21:55,844 --> 01:21:57,778
You realize we're gonna have
to put up with both of 'em
2080
01:21:57,780 --> 01:21:59,213
for the rest of our lives,
right?
2081
01:21:59,215 --> 01:22:01,582
I'd say that's the least
of our worries.
2082
01:22:01,584 --> 01:22:02,917
What could be worse?
2083
01:22:02,919 --> 01:22:04,418
A little Barry.
2084
01:22:04,420 --> 01:22:05,419
Oh.
2085
01:22:05,421 --> 01:22:09,123
♪ ♪
2086
01:22:33,983 --> 01:22:35,883
Everyone's got one.
2087
01:22:35,885 --> 01:22:37,952
The inappropriate friend.
2088
01:22:37,954 --> 01:22:40,654
Good.
2089
01:22:40,656 --> 01:22:41,622
Aw, that's terrible.
I don't want that at all.
2090
01:22:41,624 --> 01:22:43,791
The one with no filter.
2091
01:22:43,793 --> 01:22:45,225
Whoo, old man.
2092
01:22:45,227 --> 01:22:47,394
The one you
just can't take anywhere.
2093
01:22:47,396 --> 01:22:50,631
Hi. You didn't see me but I had a
great like Bionic Man thing going.
2094
01:22:50,633 --> 01:22:52,066
Fucking good!
2095
01:22:52,667 --> 01:22:54,835
Who the hell is that?
2096
01:22:54,837 --> 01:22:56,003
His name is Sammy.
2097
01:22:56,005 --> 01:22:57,404
He's a counselor at my camp.
2098
01:22:57,406 --> 01:22:58,839
Avoid him at all costs,
all right?
2099
01:22:58,841 --> 01:23:01,475
He's the kinda guy that just
constantly says all the wrong things,
2100
01:23:01,477 --> 01:23:03,811
a bull in a china shop, totally
embarrassing to be around.
2101
01:23:03,813 --> 01:23:05,079
What are you gonna do,
though?
2102
01:23:05,081 --> 01:23:06,280
There's one in every group.
2103
01:23:06,282 --> 01:23:07,982
You got that right.
- Hey, man!
2104
01:23:07,984 --> 01:23:08,983
Oh my God,
he's coming over here.
2105
01:23:08,985 --> 01:23:09,917
He's all yours.
- Barry.
2106
01:23:09,919 --> 01:23:11,452
You guys must be
Barry's friends!
2107
01:23:11,454 --> 01:23:14,188
Oh my God.
That's Barry's Barry.
2108
01:23:15,490 --> 01:23:18,926
♪ Any friend of Barry
is a friend of mine ♪
2109
01:23:18,928 --> 01:23:21,462
♪ Any friend of Barry
is a friend of mine ♪
2110
01:23:21,464 --> 01:23:22,997
Bring it in.
Bring it in.
2111
01:23:25,434 --> 01:23:28,268
♪ ♪
146909
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