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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,210
2
00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:04,419
Good morning!
Who wants pie? Maya, Randy?
3
00:00:04,419 --> 00:00:06,539
Guy with a serious face
but a whimsical scarf?
4
00:00:07,790 --> 00:00:09,500
Why are you coming
to a donut shop with pie?
5
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:11,960
It's 8:00 a.m.
6
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,170
What, can't a guy treat himself
to a little breakfast pie?
7
00:00:14,169 --> 00:00:16,499
Nadine broke up with him.
8
00:00:14,169 --> 00:00:16,499
RANDY: Oh, no.
9
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:17,920
What happened?
10
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,290
No idea.
She just called me up
11
00:00:19,289 --> 00:00:20,829
after two months of dating
and said it's over.
12
00:00:20,829 --> 00:00:22,079
But it's cool.
13
00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:23,789
It's not cool.
He's devastated.
14
00:00:23,789 --> 00:00:25,169
Not devastated.
15
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:26,670
Fine. Despondent.
16
00:00:26,670 --> 00:00:28,790
I... I'm not despondent.
17
00:00:28,789 --> 00:00:30,709
I mean, yeah, sure,
I just finished a painting
18
00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:31,920
of our bodies
merged together forever,
19
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,830
but I'll just set it on fire.
20
00:00:34,829 --> 00:00:36,959
Just like Nadine did
to his heart. Cherry?
21
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,460
Please.
22
00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:40,710
So meet my new
girlfriend: pie.
23
00:00:40,710 --> 00:00:42,710
You ain't never gonna leave me.
24
00:00:44,250 --> 00:00:46,330
I know I should
feel sad for him.
25
00:00:46,329 --> 00:00:49,169
But now there's gonna be more
Franco-Sweatpants time.
26
00:00:49,170 --> 00:00:52,290
We can finally take that trip
up to Michigan wine country.
27
00:00:52,289 --> 00:00:54,379
Will you guys watch my laptop?
28
00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:55,580
I have to
feed the meter.
29
00:00:55,579 --> 00:00:57,419
My dad says if I get
one more parking ticket
30
00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:59,080
he's gonna stop
making my car payments,
31
00:00:59,079 --> 00:01:01,539
and this is not the relatable
problem I thought it was
32
00:01:01,539 --> 00:01:02,709
when I started talking.
33
00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:07,379
So if somebody comes in
and grabs her laptop and runs,
34
00:01:07,379 --> 00:01:09,119
we're supposed to chase 'em?
35
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,920
Yeah, we hang out
in a donut shop.
36
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,380
What kind of shape
does she think we're in?
37
00:01:10,920 --> 00:01:13,380
Yeah.
38
00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:16,170
Maya's always banging away
39
00:01:16,170 --> 00:01:18,250
on that dissertation.
40
00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:20,710
Wonder what it's about?
41
00:01:20,710 --> 00:01:23,620
Probably boring young girl stuff
nobody cares about. (chuckles)
42
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:24,920
Hey, our names are in here.
43
00:01:24,920 --> 00:01:27,500
Let me see, let me see,
let me see.
44
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,580
This whole thing's about us.
45
00:01:30,579 --> 00:01:33,959
"Superior Donuts: A Case Study
on the Effects of Gentrification
46
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,290
on Interclass Social Bonding."
47
00:01:36,289 --> 00:01:37,539
So all the time she's been
hanging out here,
48
00:01:37,539 --> 00:01:38,919
she's been writing about us?
49
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:39,830
Hey, come on,
what are you doing?
50
00:01:39,829 --> 00:01:40,829
You're not supposed to be
reading that.
51
00:01:40,829 --> 00:01:42,079
Oh, yeah, that's an invasion
52
00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:44,209
of her privacy.
53
00:01:42,079 --> 00:01:44,209
According to this,
54
00:01:44,210 --> 00:01:47,460
she's been
invading our privacy all year.
55
00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:49,670
Fawz, you're in here.
56
00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:53,380
"Fawz Al-Shahrani
is a ruthless businessman..."
57
00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:55,379
She gets me.
58
00:01:57,579 --> 00:01:59,919
"...who is so devoid
of compassion and humanity
59
00:01:59,920 --> 00:02:03,040
he's incapable of forming
meaningful friendships."
60
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,670
That's a little strong.
61
00:02:05,670 --> 00:02:07,000
Right?
62
00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:08,420
Hello?
63
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,829
Anyone?
64
00:02:11,419 --> 00:02:12,619
All right, here's me.
65
00:02:12,620 --> 00:02:15,000
"Carl Tushinski
is a disenfranchised
66
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,880
"middle-aged male,
unable to get a full-time job,
67
00:02:17,879 --> 00:02:20,879
cast adrift in a world
that's passed him by."
68
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,040
I got lost in the words,
but her tone seems hurtful.
69
00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,880
Look, I know it's cool
to learn what a schoolgirl
70
00:02:30,879 --> 00:02:33,459
with no life experience
thinks about you,
71
00:02:33,460 --> 00:02:35,500
but just walk away.
72
00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:38,170
Randy, she calls you
73
00:02:38,170 --> 00:02:40,170
"warm and nurturing, the bridge
74
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,750
that connects the inhabitants
of the shop."
75
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:44,210
That's so sweet!
76
00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:46,330
Scooch over.
77
00:02:46,329 --> 00:02:48,419
You sure she doesn't say
Sweatpants is the bridge?
78
00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:50,540
She doesn't mention
my name in there anywhere.
79
00:02:50,539 --> 00:02:54,289
And I've been through so much,
with the... the... blonde girl.
80
00:02:54,289 --> 00:02:56,499
Here comes Maya.
81
00:02:54,289 --> 00:02:56,499
Maya!
82
00:02:58,250 --> 00:02:59,670
FRANCO: All right,
if anybody wants
83
00:02:59,670 --> 00:03:01,880
some pie, I left it
in the kitchen. I've had enough.
84
00:03:01,879 --> 00:03:03,669
Just like Nadine
had enough of me.
85
00:03:03,669 --> 00:03:05,329
Maybe she'd like me more
if I was a pie.
86
00:03:05,330 --> 00:03:08,960
That's impossible,
you're not a pie. You a man.
87
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:11,000
How do you know you're
having a breakdown, you know?
88
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,380
I'm gonna have some more pie.
89
00:03:13,379 --> 00:03:15,379
♪ ♪
90
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:22,540
I can't believe Maya
didn't me put in her paper.
91
00:03:22,539 --> 00:03:24,669
I got to get another
look at that computer.
92
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:26,460
I told you last night,
let it go.
93
00:03:26,460 --> 00:03:29,080
Maybe I should
hack her mainframe.
94
00:03:29,079 --> 00:03:30,749
Only problem is
95
00:03:30,750 --> 00:03:33,750
I don't know how to hack.
96
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:36,790
And I'm not sure
what a mainframe is.
97
00:03:36,789 --> 00:03:38,919
Why do you care
what Maya thinks?
98
00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:40,380
Because she's just
so judgey.
99
00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:42,209
Like a pecker bird who just
peck, peck, peck, peck,
100
00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:43,790
peck, peck, peck, peck.
101
00:03:42,210 --> 00:03:43,790
Uh, thank you, thank you.
102
00:03:43,789 --> 00:03:45,619
I know what a pecker is.
103
00:03:45,620 --> 00:03:46,880
Uh, pecking birds.
104
00:03:46,879 --> 00:03:47,879
Uh, woodpeck...
105
00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:51,920
She doesn't know me.
I'm perfectly capable
106
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,830
of being friends
with someone.
107
00:03:53,829 --> 00:03:55,749
Hey, Sweatypants,
where you from?
108
00:03:55,750 --> 00:03:57,420
Um, you know, actually, I was
born in Maryland, and I was...
109
00:03:57,420 --> 00:03:59,330
See? Friends.
110
00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:02,669
And I can totally
hold down a regular job.
111
00:04:02,669 --> 00:04:04,329
That's why I got the want ads.
112
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:07,880
I'm just gonna circle anything
that's promising, and I'm done.
113
00:04:07,879 --> 00:04:09,999
What happened to the want ads?
114
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,880
The Internet. But you know what,
I can set you up a profile
115
00:04:12,879 --> 00:04:14,459
on one of those
job search Web sites.
116
00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:17,170
And while I'm at it, I'll just
swing by Nadine's Facebook page
117
00:04:17,170 --> 00:04:18,580
and see what she's up to.
118
00:04:18,579 --> 00:04:21,789
Oh, look,
the bitch is having sushi.
119
00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,330
Hi, guys.
120
00:04:23,329 --> 00:04:24,789
Morning, Maya.
121
00:04:24,790 --> 00:04:26,290
Here, have a donut.
122
00:04:26,290 --> 00:04:28,290
I only had one bite.
123
00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:32,249
Listen, Arthur said he's gonna
turn off the water later,
124
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:34,380
so if you got
to go to the bathroom,
125
00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:35,709
you should go now.
126
00:04:37,329 --> 00:04:40,249
I'm... I'm-I'm good, but thanks.
127
00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:42,250
Suit yourself.
128
00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,499
You know what,
better safe than sorry.
129
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,540
Good thinking.
130
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,540
Brilliant.
131
00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:55,250
Okay, find Sweatpants.
132
00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:56,960
Nothing.
133
00:04:56,959 --> 00:04:59,539
Maybe she spelled Sweatpants
with two words.
134
00:04:59,540 --> 00:05:01,790
A lot of my mail
comes that way.
135
00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:03,250
ARTHUR:
Hey, hey!
136
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,120
What did I tell you?
Get away from there.
137
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,000
That's easy for you to say,
you're all over this thing.
138
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,460
"A curmudgeonly father figure.
A widower.
139
00:05:10,459 --> 00:05:11,879
"He once told me
that every Sunday
140
00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,789
he takes flowers
to his late wife's grave."
141
00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:16,290
Oh! You are so lucky.
142
00:05:16,290 --> 00:05:18,290
I didn't know that.
143
00:05:18,290 --> 00:05:20,040
Well, now you do.
144
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:21,880
Well, is that where you
rush off to every Sunday?
145
00:05:21,879 --> 00:05:23,119
What's with the third degree?
146
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:25,250
You know, some things
are private, okay?
147
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,040
Oh, God,
are you still doing this?
148
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:30,580
FRANCO:
You know, there's a lot of stuff
149
00:05:30,579 --> 00:05:31,959
in that computer I never heard.
150
00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:33,249
You know, like,
did you know Arthur
151
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,830
visits Joanie's grave
every Sunday?
152
00:05:34,829 --> 00:05:37,169
Oh, that's really sweet.
153
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:40,830
Also impossible,
since Joanie was cremated.
154
00:05:40,829 --> 00:05:42,499
What?
155
00:05:40,829 --> 00:05:42,499
Yeah.
156
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:44,120
I was there when Arthur
spread her ashes
157
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,830
over Wrigley Field.
158
00:05:45,829 --> 00:05:47,289
It was so beautiful.
159
00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:49,170
And kind of gross.
160
00:05:50,079 --> 00:05:52,079
Some of it blew back
on our nachos.
161
00:05:50,079 --> 00:05:52,079
Ugh.
162
00:05:53,829 --> 00:05:55,879
Why would he tell that to Maya?
163
00:05:55,879 --> 00:05:59,119
And, more importantly, where
is he going off every Sunday?
164
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,080
Definitely suspicious.
165
00:06:02,879 --> 00:06:05,879
96, 97,
166
00:06:05,879 --> 00:06:09,419
98... Oh, hey, Maya.
167
00:06:09,420 --> 00:06:11,750
99, 100.
168
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,500
Sweatpants.
169
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,960
One word.
170
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:24,960
Okay, kid, time
to close up.
171
00:06:24,959 --> 00:06:27,709
And don't forget to dump
the day-old donuts.
172
00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:29,619
♪ Day-olds! ♪
173
00:06:29,620 --> 00:06:32,040
♪ Day-olds! ♪
174
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:34,830
Hey, it's nice to see you
getting over your breakup.
175
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:38,749
♪ Nadine dumped me,
said I had to go home. ♪
176
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:42,000
Spoke too soon.
177
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,670
All right,
it's Sunday night.
178
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,120
He's getting ready
to leave.
179
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,620
Have you seen any clues
as to where he disappears to?
180
00:06:47,620 --> 00:06:50,000
No. I mean, I think
it's just so weird
181
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,380
that he would lie about
where his wife is buried.
182
00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:53,919
I mean, what else
has he lied about?
183
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,920
Is his last name
even Przybyszewski?
184
00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:59,080
I don't think that's something
you'd lie about.
185
00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:00,789
Mmm.
186
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:03,330
This whole thing
is so unlike him.
187
00:07:03,329 --> 00:07:05,879
It's not like
he's a man of mystery.
188
00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:09,079
Even though he is shaped
like a question mark.
189
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,120
Jake.
190
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,540
Arthur.
191
00:07:15,540 --> 00:07:17,080
What are you
doing here?
192
00:07:17,079 --> 00:07:18,829
I was in the neighborhood.
193
00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:21,999
I thought we could
take a little walk.
194
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:24,040
Okay.
195
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,120
Who the hell was that?
196
00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,120
I don't know, but we
better follow him
197
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,120
before Arthur's sleeping
with the gefilte fishes.
198
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,120
Okay.
199
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:38,210
RANDY: I don't see him.
You sure he came this way?
200
00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:39,619
FRANCO:
Yeah.
201
00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:41,670
Saw him come down these steps.
202
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,670
Man, why is Arthur
in a Catholic church anyway?
203
00:07:44,670 --> 00:07:47,000
I thought he went
to Jewish church.
204
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,670
Well, maybe he's doing a little
religion comparison shopping.
205
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,500
People his age
do that when they get closer
206
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,330
to the check-out line.
207
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,330
Mm-hmm.
208
00:07:54,329 --> 00:07:56,669
Maybe he's in here.
Let's look.
209
00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:58,670
Oh, no, no. Uh-uh.
I feel a little weird
210
00:07:58,670 --> 00:08:01,000
spying on someone in church.
211
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,290
When I was in the ninth grade
212
00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,000
I was making out
with Tony Delvecchio
213
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:06,460
in the confessional
when the priest came in.
214
00:08:06,459 --> 00:08:08,709
Then I had to confess my sins
215
00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:12,119
while simultaneously
committing at least three more.
216
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:16,580
So I figure
I'm on thin ice with God.
217
00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:19,169
Wow. Well, I'm not.
Me and God are like this!
218
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,710
MAN: And that, my friends,
is a true story.
219
00:08:22,709 --> 00:08:26,379
He's in a circle
with a bunch of people.
220
00:08:26,379 --> 00:08:27,829
(laughter, applause)
221
00:08:27,829 --> 00:08:29,749
Now they laughing and clapping.
222
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:32,040
Oh... Oh, this is worse
than I thought.
223
00:08:32,039 --> 00:08:35,919
I think Arthur's
taking an improv class.
224
00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:38,169
WOMAN:
Thanks for the share, Bob.
225
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,539
Who'd like to go next?
226
00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:41,789
Okay.
227
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,789
Uh, hi, my name is Arthur,
228
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,499
and I've got a gambling problem.
229
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:46,710
ALL:
Hi, Arthur.
230
00:08:46,710 --> 00:08:47,960
ARTHUR:
It's been four years since
231
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,080
I placed my last bet.
232
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,080
And I only miss it
during the playoffs.
233
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,830
And the regular season.
234
00:08:52,830 --> 00:08:54,620
And the preseason.
235
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:56,000
And the draft.
236
00:08:58,750 --> 00:09:00,580
It's a support group.
237
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:02,460
Arthur's a gambler.
238
00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:05,500
You mean like Kenny Rogers?
239
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:08,210
Uh, let's get out of here.
I never should've come. Come on.
240
00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:11,620
No, no, no, no, no.
You're in the right place.
241
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,290
We're gonna help you
get through this.
242
00:09:13,289 --> 00:09:15,919
No, no, man, I was just
checking up on my friend, man.
243
00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:18,669
I don't have a problem.
244
00:09:15,919 --> 00:09:18,669
Ah. That's what they all say.
245
00:09:18,669 --> 00:09:20,039
Randy?
246
00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:22,579
Sorry. I'm a bridge, not a spy.
247
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:26,920
Hey, everybody.
I got a newcomer.
248
00:09:26,919 --> 00:09:28,079
Franco.
249
00:09:28,080 --> 00:09:30,080
ALL:
Hi, Franco.
250
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:31,880
What the hell you doing here?
251
00:09:31,879 --> 00:09:34,039
I walked in the wrong room.
252
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:35,579
It's... What are the odds?
253
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:38,250
Sorry.
254
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:40,710
But it won't happen again,
you can bet on that.
255
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:44,080
I'm leaving now.
256
00:09:51,750 --> 00:09:54,170
Good morning.
Donut and coffee to go, please.
257
00:09:54,169 --> 00:09:55,619
To go?
258
00:09:54,169 --> 00:09:55,619
Yes, sir.
259
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:58,000
I got a full-time job
at a call center.
260
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,120
You are looking at a
customer service representative.
261
00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:03,000
Oh? Of what?
262
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,000
I have no idea.
263
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,170
But I would be happy
to transfer you to someone
264
00:10:08,169 --> 00:10:10,919
who can answer
all of your questions.
265
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,460
Oh, you're looking good, Tush.
266
00:10:16,460 --> 00:10:18,580
You got a court date
in a small Southern town?
267
00:10:20,379 --> 00:10:22,879
It's from the fancy section
at Kohl's.
268
00:10:22,879 --> 00:10:24,499
It's behind the luggage,
269
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,080
so a lot of people miss it.
270
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:26,080
Oh.
271
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,500
Morning.
272
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:34,380
Look, I ran off last night
before I could tell you...
273
00:10:34,379 --> 00:10:35,499
I'm sorry.
274
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,290
Well, you should be.
And you had no right
275
00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:39,499
to trail me.
276
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:41,580
At least
you're not doing improv.
277
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:44,290
You don't have
to hide anymore, Arthur.
278
00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:46,289
I'm glad you're getting help.
279
00:10:46,289 --> 00:10:47,379
If there's something
I could do to help you...
280
00:10:47,379 --> 00:10:49,209
Look, that's none
of your business, okay?
281
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:50,120
But we're friends, man.
282
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,420
I tell you everything.
283
00:10:51,419 --> 00:10:52,749
Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't.
284
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:54,210
That's the trouble
with your generation.
285
00:10:54,210 --> 00:10:57,040
You need to share every detail
of your lives.
286
00:10:57,039 --> 00:10:59,749
"Here's a selfie
of me and my patty melt.
287
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:03,540
Aren't I fascinating?"
288
00:11:03,539 --> 00:11:04,879
That was hurtful.
289
00:11:04,879 --> 00:11:06,169
Look, I'm just
saying that
290
00:11:06,169 --> 00:11:08,289
there has to be some boundaries
between you and I, all right?
291
00:11:08,289 --> 00:11:10,169
I'm the boss,
you're the employee.
292
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,419
We don't have
to tell each other everything.
293
00:11:12,419 --> 00:11:13,789
Fine.
294
00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:17,079
And FYI, that patty melt
was delicious.
295
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:25,330
Coffee to go, please.
296
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:26,960
Tush, my good friend.
297
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,710
Tell me
how your new job is going.
298
00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:32,210
TUSH:
Okay,
299
00:11:32,210 --> 00:11:34,120
but I'm on a 15-minute break.
300
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:35,880
It would've been a
20, but somebody
301
00:11:35,879 --> 00:11:38,959
took Fat Shirley's macaroni
salad from the fridge,
302
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,000
and Regular Shirley's
getting the blame.
303
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,620
So, of course, Gay Ted
called a meeting about it.
304
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:46,040
Delightful. Can you please
put that in an e-mail
305
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,959
so that I can savor
all the details?
306
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,290
(chuckles)
Oh, thank you.
307
00:11:50,289 --> 00:11:51,539
Bye, Fawz.
308
00:11:51,539 --> 00:11:54,289
Get off my back! I'm trying!
309
00:11:56,830 --> 00:12:00,040
You know, I can't believe
Arthur kept this secret from me.
310
00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:02,039
I thought we were
supposed to be friends.
311
00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:02,039
(scoffs)
312
00:12:02,039 --> 00:12:03,419
You mean the way
you were my friend
313
00:12:03,419 --> 00:12:05,249
when you ditched me
in a church basement?
314
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,580
That's how horror movies start.
315
00:12:10,789 --> 00:12:12,669
Nadine.
316
00:12:12,669 --> 00:12:13,789
Franco.
317
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:18,540
Sorry I haven't returned
your calls.
318
00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:19,999
It's cool.
319
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,250
It's all right.
320
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,420
Just thought you, uh,
lost your phone
321
00:12:22,419 --> 00:12:25,459
or choked on a piece of sushi
or something.
322
00:12:25,460 --> 00:12:28,330
What I need to say to you,
323
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,040
I need to say in person.
324
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,459
(clears throat)
And in private?
325
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:37,330
All right,
let's go in the kitchen.
326
00:12:41,289 --> 00:12:42,499
Hmm.
327
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,620
Gee, I, uh, wonder
what's going on in there.
328
00:12:45,620 --> 00:12:47,920
Maybe I should go in
and do my bridge thing.
329
00:12:47,919 --> 00:12:49,539
No, no, no, no.
330
00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:51,289
She wanted privacy.
331
00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,419
I know how to find out
what's going on.
332
00:12:53,419 --> 00:12:54,709
You're not going in there,
are you?
333
00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:56,420
Arthur, give me some credit.
334
00:12:56,419 --> 00:12:58,249
I'm going to hold this
up to the door and listen.
335
00:12:58,250 --> 00:12:59,960
No, no. No, you're not.
336
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,080
Come on, Arthur.
337
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:02,420
This is more exciting
338
00:13:02,419 --> 00:13:05,749
than the time Gay Ted
brought his wife to work.
339
00:13:05,750 --> 00:13:08,210
Now look, they went in there
because they wanted privacy,
340
00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:10,960
and that's exactly what we're...
341
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,460
What?
342
00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,460
ARTHUR:
It's Nadine.
343
00:13:12,460 --> 00:13:14,620
I think she's crying.
344
00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:17,420
And that's none of our business.
345
00:13:17,419 --> 00:13:19,459
Wow.
346
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,460
She's really losing it.
But that's between them.
347
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:25,620
Oh.
348
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:27,420
I mean, full-on waterworks.
349
00:13:28,789 --> 00:13:30,379
No, Sweatpants.
350
00:13:30,379 --> 00:13:31,579
Get a bigger one.
351
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,880
I'm sorry. It's just...
352
00:13:36,879 --> 00:13:39,249
It's so hard to tell you.
353
00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:40,880
Just come out and say it.
354
00:13:40,879 --> 00:13:42,119
(inhales)
355
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,290
Franco...
356
00:13:44,289 --> 00:13:45,879
I'm pregnant.
357
00:13:45,879 --> 00:13:47,619
(glass breaks)
358
00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:49,670
What? What happened?
359
00:13:49,669 --> 00:13:51,039
One of them is pregnant.
360
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:52,789
And I think it's Nadine.
361
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,290
Franco and Nadine
are having a baby.
362
00:14:01,289 --> 00:14:02,669
No, they can't.
363
00:14:02,669 --> 00:14:04,539
They're so young.
364
00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:06,459
Well, sure,
they start out young,
365
00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:09,420
but before you know it,
they're walking and talking...
366
00:14:09,419 --> 00:14:10,459
No.
367
00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:13,790
I'm talking about
Franco and Nadine.
368
00:14:13,789 --> 00:14:15,079
They're not ready for this.
369
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:16,670
Ha! Tell me about it.
370
00:14:16,669 --> 00:14:20,119
I mean, the four of us
in that tiny studio apartment?
371
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,670
And you know who's going
to end up doing all the work.
372
00:14:22,669 --> 00:14:26,459
I just hope Franco knows
what he's getting into.
373
00:14:26,460 --> 00:14:28,210
I mean, how well
can he even know...
374
00:14:28,210 --> 00:14:30,000
Nadine! (chuckles)
375
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,750
Hey, girl.
376
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,460
Hey, Arthur.
377
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,830
Yeah.
378
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,830
(sniffles)
379
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,750
I don't think
those were tears of joy.
380
00:14:42,879 --> 00:14:45,789
Why does everyone
look so shocked?
381
00:14:45,789 --> 00:14:47,539
Nadine's pregnant.
382
00:14:47,539 --> 00:14:50,419
Come on, Fawz, you can do this.
383
00:14:50,419 --> 00:14:51,999
Really?!
384
00:14:54,039 --> 00:14:56,459
FAWZ:
Franco, I just heard
385
00:14:56,460 --> 00:14:58,210
about your baby.
386
00:14:58,210 --> 00:15:00,210
Congratulations, man!
387
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,120
How do you even know a...
388
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,960
Were you listening
to my conversation?
389
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,920
No, I heard it from Tush.
390
00:15:11,669 --> 00:15:12,789
You were eavesdropping?
391
00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:14,499
Uh, Arthur told me.
392
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:16,670
You were eavesdropping?
393
00:15:16,669 --> 00:15:17,829
No.
394
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:19,250
Okay, yeah.
395
00:15:20,330 --> 00:15:23,040
I heard crying,
so I got concerned.
396
00:15:23,039 --> 00:15:24,749
I mean,
this is life-changing, kid.
397
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:26,210
I-If you want
to talk about it...
398
00:15:26,210 --> 00:15:27,170
I don't.
399
00:15:27,169 --> 00:15:28,879
I'm-a tell you the same thing
400
00:15:28,879 --> 00:15:30,959
you told me three hours ago.
401
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,040
You're the boss,
I'm the employee.
402
00:15:33,039 --> 00:15:34,789
It's none of your damn business.
403
00:15:34,789 --> 00:15:35,999
Hey, you're the guy
that followed me
404
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,330
to my gamblers' group.
405
00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:38,830
Oh, you like to gamble?
'Cause I got some guys
406
00:15:38,830 --> 00:15:40,790
I play poker with
if you want in.
407
00:15:40,789 --> 00:15:42,579
No.
408
00:15:42,580 --> 00:15:43,790
What's the buy in?
409
00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:46,619
He meant a support group.
410
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:48,040
Well, how do you know that?
411
00:15:48,039 --> 00:15:49,499
Were you spying on me, too?
412
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,580
Y-Yeah, but only because...
413
00:15:51,580 --> 00:15:54,620
What did you tell him?
414
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,170
What, there's no respect
for privacy in this place?
415
00:15:57,169 --> 00:15:58,579
Yeah.
416
00:15:58,580 --> 00:16:02,250
Looks like this place
could use some boundaries.
417
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,920
Randy, I thought
you were better than that.
418
00:16:04,919 --> 00:16:07,289
Yeah, and I thought
you were my friend.
419
00:16:07,289 --> 00:16:10,289
Why would you lie about going
to visit Joanie's grave?
420
00:16:10,289 --> 00:16:11,329
When did I say that?
421
00:16:11,330 --> 00:16:13,250
In Maya's dissertation.
422
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:15,500
What?
423
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:16,920
How do you know what's in there?
424
00:16:16,919 --> 00:16:18,999
Tush read it.
425
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,670
Thanks a lot.
426
00:16:21,669 --> 00:16:24,459
You're as bad
as Loudmouth Shirley.
427
00:16:24,460 --> 00:16:27,790
How many Shirleys
work at this place?
428
00:16:27,789 --> 00:16:30,499
How dare you read that?
That's private.
429
00:16:30,500 --> 00:16:31,790
Oh, that's rich
430
00:16:31,789 --> 00:16:35,329
coming from the woman
who's been spying on us.
431
00:16:35,330 --> 00:16:36,580
I'm not spying on you.
432
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:37,920
I-I'm studying you.
433
00:16:37,919 --> 00:16:40,329
I can't believe you think
I'm some pathetic loser
434
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:41,620
who can't get a job.
435
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,960
And I'm some
heartless businessman
436
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,750
who doesn't care about his
pathetic loser friends.
437
00:16:47,750 --> 00:16:49,750
You don't know
what you're talking about.
438
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,250
All right, everybody.
That's enough.
439
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:55,710
I know we're all upset,
but Maya has never treated us
440
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,920
with anything but
kindness and caring.
441
00:16:57,919 --> 00:16:59,789
So let's not jump
down her throat
442
00:16:59,789 --> 00:17:01,879
until we hear what
she has to say.
443
00:17:01,879 --> 00:17:03,329
Thank you, Randy.
444
00:17:03,330 --> 00:17:04,580
Now talk fast.
445
00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:08,539
I'm not sure how long
this bridge is gonna hold.
446
00:17:08,539 --> 00:17:11,709
Look, what you read--
I wrote that months ago.
447
00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:13,040
Those were my first impressions.
448
00:17:13,039 --> 00:17:14,619
But-but then I got to know you.
449
00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:16,669
Like, look.
450
00:17:16,670 --> 00:17:17,920
Read.
451
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,880
"When I met Carl,
452
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,790
I considered him a sad failure."
453
00:17:25,789 --> 00:17:27,579
Not a great start.
454
00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:31,419
"But by creating a life
for himself
455
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:33,250
"outside
the nine-to-five workforce,
456
00:17:33,250 --> 00:17:35,120
"he is one of the happiest,
457
00:17:35,119 --> 00:17:36,619
"and therefore most successful,
458
00:17:36,619 --> 00:17:39,329
people I have ever known."
459
00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:40,749
You really think that?
460
00:17:40,750 --> 00:17:42,620
I do.
461
00:17:42,619 --> 00:17:45,619
So do I.
462
00:17:45,619 --> 00:17:48,289
Hello, Gay Ted?
463
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:53,290
This is Carl.
464
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:56,669
Bald Carl.
465
00:17:56,670 --> 00:17:57,960
Listen, I quit.
466
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,040
And tell Fat Shirley
to lay off Regular Shirley.
467
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:04,999
I'm the one that ate
her macaroni salad.
468
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,040
And Fawz.
469
00:18:08,039 --> 00:18:09,419
(clears throat)
470
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:11,830
"Despite
his ruthless demeanor,
471
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:15,789
Fawz has exhibited moments
of true caring and friendship."
472
00:18:15,789 --> 00:18:16,749
Aw.
473
00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:19,750
Happy now, you jerk?
474
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:20,790
I am.
475
00:18:20,789 --> 00:18:21,999
But also exhausted.
476
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,670
How are you people so nice
to each other all the time?
477
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,620
What about me?
478
00:18:27,619 --> 00:18:29,289
I didn't even get one mention.
479
00:18:29,289 --> 00:18:30,619
That's not true.
480
00:18:30,619 --> 00:18:32,579
This is the conclusion.
481
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:33,579
I wrote it this morning.
482
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,789
Actually, Arthur,
483
00:18:34,789 --> 00:18:38,829
why don't you read it?
484
00:18:38,829 --> 00:18:40,379
(sighs)
485
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:43,540
You couldn't find
a smaller font?
486
00:18:44,829 --> 00:18:46,459
(clears throat)
487
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:47,830
Ah...
488
00:18:47,829 --> 00:18:50,829
"Superior Donuts
is a gathering place
489
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:53,959
"where people, regardless
of race, age and background,
490
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:58,000
"have found a refuge
in an otherwise impersonal city.
491
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,170
"This is best illustrated
492
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:03,380
"by the unlikely friendship
between Arthur and Franco.
493
00:19:04,789 --> 00:19:07,119
"Arthur provides
his young employee
494
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:09,919
"with a stable home
beyond the apartment
495
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:12,420
"he shares with his roommate,
496
00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:16,000
a free-loading slacker
named Sweatpants."
497
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,460
I'm in the book!
498
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,460
ARTHUR: Okay.
499
00:19:30,079 --> 00:19:32,169
Here.
500
00:19:32,170 --> 00:19:33,790
(scoffs)
501
00:19:33,789 --> 00:19:35,039
You think you're gonna make
everything right
502
00:19:35,039 --> 00:19:35,669
by giving me some lame-ass gift?
503
00:19:35,670 --> 00:19:38,000
It's not for you.
It's for your kid.
504
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:43,079
I will love him
no matter what.
505
00:19:43,079 --> 00:19:46,379
But please, God, don't let him
be a White Sox fan.
506
00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:49,830
Thank you.
507
00:19:49,829 --> 00:19:51,169
I can't take it.
508
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,620
Look, I know what I said
about boundaries,
509
00:19:54,619 --> 00:19:57,209
but, you know, I realized
that like it or not,
510
00:19:57,210 --> 00:19:59,620
you and I, we're way past that.
511
00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:02,750
The thing is...
512
00:20:02,750 --> 00:20:04,540
it's not my kid.
513
00:20:04,539 --> 00:20:06,289
What?
514
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:09,039
Apparently Nadine
was engaged to this guy,
515
00:20:09,039 --> 00:20:11,419
and he broke it off with her.
516
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:13,290
I was the rebound.
517
00:20:13,289 --> 00:20:16,209
Wow, that's tough.
518
00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:20,540
Oh, come on. You're too young
to have a kid, anyway.
519
00:20:20,539 --> 00:20:23,289
You barely can take care
of Sweatpants.
520
00:20:24,619 --> 00:20:27,669
Look, I, uh,
I'm sorry I eavesdropped.
521
00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:29,330
I was gonna tell
you anyway, man.
522
00:20:29,329 --> 00:20:30,709
I was just...
523
00:20:30,710 --> 00:20:33,500
(sighs) It's humiliating.
You know?
524
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,120
No, I get it.
525
00:20:35,119 --> 00:20:37,249
That's why I didn't tell you
about my gambling.
526
00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,040
I was afraid you wouldn't
look at me the same.
527
00:20:39,039 --> 00:20:40,669
And I kind of like to think
528
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:42,170
that you look up to me.
529
00:20:42,170 --> 00:20:43,380
Huh.
530
00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:44,540
That's weird,
'cause I always thought
531
00:20:44,539 --> 00:20:47,169
you looked up to me,
but whatever.
532
00:20:47,170 --> 00:20:49,960
So, you gonna be okay?
533
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,170
Eventually.
534
00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:55,880
(sighs)
535
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,540
Oh, I got pies
stashed all over this bitch.
536
00:20:59,539 --> 00:21:00,539
Oh.
537
00:21:00,539 --> 00:21:02,289
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
538
00:21:02,289 --> 00:21:04,289
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
35328
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