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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:18,690 Next up on the Home Shopping Network... 2 00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:22,366 ..."Boyfriends of Cher Collector Plates." 3 00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:28,169 Who'd wanna eat off of Gregg Allman? 4 00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:46,045 You won't believe what they're doing at the mall. 5 00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:51,126 Putting a sign in front of the shoe store that says, "Over two pairs sold"? 6 00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:54,288 That hurts, Peg. 7 00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:58,569 Not as much as seeing you first thing in the morning, but that still hurts. 8 00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:02,208 Anyway, they're making us all car pool. 9 00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:05,840 Damn, this cleaner, greener Chicago program. 10 00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:09,002 Do you realize that they even want us to conserve water? 11 00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:13,766 Well, did you tell them about how much water you save on showers? 12 00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:16,088 I did. 13 00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:19,683 You know, this conservation crap has gone a little too far. 14 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:23,809 What did we take this country from the Indians for if we're not gonna use it? 15 00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,324 Do you know the kind of people that are doing this, Peg? 16 00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,322 People who won't chop down one tree... 17 00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,727 ...but mow their heads are the kind of people behind this. 18 00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:43,488 Al Bundy, why would you leave that landfill you call a car running... 19 00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,129 ...after you come home? 20 00:02:45,370 --> 00:02:48,282 I didn't. It just takes a while to stop. 21 00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:54,559 I mean, when you cut a chicken's head off it still runs around the room. 22 00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,681 There. It's off. 23 00:03:01,370 --> 00:03:05,363 Well, it's cars like yours that make car pooling necessary... 24 00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:09,125 ...which is why I'm glad my bank is one of the cleaner, greener sponsors. 25 00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:13,886 Marcie, it is a man's God-given right to drive alone in his car. 26 00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:16,325 A man's car is his castle. 27 00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:18,879 Well, I thought a man's home was his castle. 28 00:03:19,130 --> 00:03:22,281 It is, if he can slay the dragon that's living there. 29 00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:27,530 Besides, too many people in one car spells trouble. 30 00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,561 What do we do when someone cuts us off? 31 00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:32,238 Are we all supposed to give him the finger? 32 00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:37,529 No, just whichever one of you can get it out of his nose first. 33 00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:41,760 A man's nose is also his castle. 34 00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:46,209 In my America, a man's car and his nose is his castle. 35 00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:49,089 Well, in my America... 36 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,729 ...there's one giant bus... 37 00:03:50,970 --> 00:03:54,679 ...that the whole world gets on to ride to work together. 38 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:59,640 And on this bus I greet people from different lands... 39 00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:03,007 ...each in their own native language. 40 00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:05,566 You're talking about the city bus. 41 00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:12,960 Well, I can see this is certainly falling on a pair of deaf and furry ears. 42 00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:16,680 Well! This car pool outrage will not go unchallenged. 43 00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:20,764 You wanna get something cleaner and greener? Wash my underwear! 44 00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:33,045 Hey, wait a second, that was a shot at me. 45 00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:36,607 Well, if it makes you feel any better, it can be from me. 46 00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:40,483 Peg, remember the time when a man could burn a tank of gas... 47 00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,925 ...backing out of his own driveway? 48 00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:47,646 A man took a hooker to a steak house and no one would even blink an eye? 49 00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:51,168 Peg, why can't we go back to simpler times? 50 00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:54,085 Al, but look at this place. 51 00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:57,322 Any simpler and we'd be bushmen. 52 00:04:58,290 --> 00:05:01,487 You know who I really feel for, don't you? The kids. 53 00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:03,282 What's the point in being young... 54 00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:06,288 ...if you can't get in a big old car with a really dumb girl? 55 00:05:07,650 --> 00:05:09,083 Dad... 56 00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:17,446 ...I got straight A's and made the dean's list. 57 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,967 Son, I wish you could have been alive back when I was. 58 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:24,083 Of course, I probably wouldn't have let you hang out with me... 59 00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:28,369 ...back when a time when a man could be a man and a car could be a car. 60 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:31,522 When we had one hand on the wheel and one hand on the girl... 61 00:05:31,770 --> 00:05:33,726 ...and one hand on the stick. 62 00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,203 That's what I liked about the old days. We... 63 00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:39,561 ...had more hands. 64 00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:45,926 Mom, I made the dean's list. 65 00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:48,286 Oh, and I'm very proud of you. 66 00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:49,849 Now tell me, honey... 67 00:05:50,090 --> 00:05:52,445 ...who is this dean? 68 00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:55,640 Is he a nice boy? 69 00:05:57,530 --> 00:05:59,282 Mom. Dad. 70 00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:09,682 I am getting a raise at the extermination company. 71 00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:16,280 I was also voted Employee of the Month. 72 00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:19,448 So Pest Boys will hold an awards ceremony for me in a few weeks. 73 00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:21,720 - Oh, I gotta go tell my friends. - Oh, honey. 74 00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:25,599 They might even put my name on the golden fly swatter. 75 00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:31,646 Oh, Al. Our little girl is all grown-up. 76 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:36,519 Kind of puts this dean's thing in perspective, don't it? 77 00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:41,642 Kind of puts my genetic makeup in perspective. 78 00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:44,768 Listen to that, Peg. Now he's using makeup. 79 00:06:46,010 --> 00:06:49,798 First this dean thing and now this. 80 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:54,199 Now look what you've done! You get out of here! You've upset your mother! 81 00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,600 Don't answer it, Peg. He's from the mall. 82 00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:03,410 They're coming to tell me who I have to car pool with. 83 00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:06,323 As far as I'm concerned, they can rot out there. 84 00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:08,806 Come in. 85 00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:11,325 Or they can rot in here with me. 86 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,488 Hi. 87 00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:19,683 Are you Al Bundy? 88 00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,645 Why, yes, I am. 89 00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:34,045 Oh, and that's my... My-- My housekeeper, Consuela. 90 00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:40,566 Oh, Consuela, upstairs-oh. 91 00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:44,603 I'm his wife. 92 00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:47,489 It's a marriage of convenience. 93 00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:50,802 Unfortunately not mine. I'm deporting her. 94 00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:54,720 Can I get you a drink or a condominium? 95 00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:56,803 No, thanks, Mr. Bundy. 96 00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:59,484 My name is Naomi and I'm with Victoria's Secret. 97 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,925 Oh, I love your work. 98 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,926 I know. I've seen your face prints on the window. 99 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:10,448 The mall sent me over here to ask you if you would join us in our car pool. 100 00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,448 I'm in. 101 00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:16,600 Let's go. Adi�s, Consuela! 102 00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:20,846 Actually, I'm not driving, but several of our models do live in the area. 103 00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:22,762 They do? 104 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,440 Oh, Consuela... 105 00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:30,839 ...we live model adjacent. 106 00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:33,846 Blot your chin... 107 00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,121 ...and your pants. 108 00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:40,407 So when do my models come to get me? 109 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,722 - Seven a.m. - Good, I don't have to be there till 10... 110 00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:50,199 ...which gives me a lot of time for coffee, cartwheels and a cold shower. 111 00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:53,882 He's just kidding about the shower. 112 00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:56,286 - Here are your models' names. - Why, thank you. 113 00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:58,805 - Bye. - Bye. 114 00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:10,598 Alexis, Monique and Paulina. 115 00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:12,882 Oh, my. 116 00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,609 Alexis, Monique and Paulina. Oh, my. 117 00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:19,762 Alexis, Monique and Paulina. Oh, my. 118 00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:36,684 Alexis, Monique and Paulina. Oh, my. 119 00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:43,404 So they tell me you girls are models for Victoria's Secret. 120 00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:44,878 Oh, we are. 121 00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:48,122 We're Victoria's big secret. 122 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:53,688 Well, Victoria couldn't keep a secret this big. 123 00:09:55,370 --> 00:09:57,930 It's a new line of lingerie for the full-figured woman... 124 00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:02,043 ...because you know what they say. "You're never too big to be sexy." 125 00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:05,130 Oh, and do you know who says that? 126 00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:08,127 Fat girls. 127 00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:15,605 So do you always go to work wearing a suit and smelling of High Karate? 128 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:20,528 No. Do you always go to work wearing curtains and smelling of Mars Bars? 129 00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:26,529 Sounds to me like you're full of self-hate, Mr. Bundy. 130 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:29,524 Well, at least I'm full. 131 00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:35,161 Would you mind turning on the radio, I feel a crying jag coming on. 132 00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:37,725 Say please. 133 00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:40,564 There's a Chunky in it for you. 134 00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:48,761 Oh, I love this song. 135 00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:51,444 It reminds me of that summer in Hawaii with Tony. 136 00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:53,203 God, what a lover. 137 00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,687 Oh, man, he could do it all night long. 138 00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:00,044 Did I ever tell you about that time me and Johnny Klog... 139 00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,326 ...joined the mile-high club? 140 00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:06,165 I was wearing this frilly little skirt and not much underneath. 141 00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,844 - Well-- - Pull over! 142 00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:16,719 - What? - Pull over, I've gotta heave. 143 00:11:19,690 --> 00:11:22,329 Shut up, or I'll pound you like a scaloppini. 144 00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:24,765 We're almost there. 145 00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:29,001 The police. What did we do? 146 00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:32,526 Well, I don't know. Maybe we missed the truck scale. 147 00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,243 But on the positive side... 148 00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:45,278 ...maybe they'll get me out of here before I turn into a diamond. 149 00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:49,722 - What seems to be the problem? - Hi, I'm Alderman Johnson. 150 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:53,804 - Would you four be car pooling? - No, I'm their lunch. 151 00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,764 - What's up? - Well, we were following you... 152 00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:00,968 ...and laughing and pointing. 153 00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:03,678 And as it turns out, despite our best efforts... 154 00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:07,639 ...you're the only people car pooling in all of Chicago. 155 00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:11,405 We're also the only people eating snickerdoodles by the gallon. 156 00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:14,962 Well, we'd like you and your friends to represent the city... 157 00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:18,680 ...in its new media campaign, "Everybody into the car pool." 158 00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:21,603 Forget it. You got the wrong guy. 159 00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:25,280 Well, that's too bad, because your first promotional appearance... 160 00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:29,165 ...would have been courtside at the Chicago Bulls playoff game. 161 00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:37,605 Say cheesecake. 162 00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:44,320 Oh, here comes your daddy. 163 00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:51,721 Hi, I'm Al Bundy... 164 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,564 ...but many of you know me as... 165 00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:56,961 ...Al Bundy. 166 00:12:57,450 --> 00:13:00,726 There was a time I scored four touchdowns in one game on this field... 167 00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,807 ...but now I can't run four feet... 168 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,518 ...without being tackled by someone else's garbage. 169 00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:08,324 Be a part of my team. 170 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:16,887 Two, four, six, eight Pick up litter, clean your plate 171 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,169 Yay, Keep Chicago Clean! 172 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,884 Score a touchdown for mother earth. 173 00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:33,440 Let's help keep Chicago green and clean. 174 00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:37,598 Please. 175 00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:45,086 What a load. 176 00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:49,442 Mom, isn't Dad being just a tad hypocritical? 177 00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:53,729 That was the first time I've seen him walk the field without taking a whiz. 178 00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:56,724 Since he's been on billboards and the side of buses... 179 00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,689 ...he has been an insufferable pig. 180 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:02,286 Whoa, that was a big word. 181 00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:08,369 There are no big words, just little heads. 182 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:13,439 Now, kids, maybe we should give your father the benefit of the doubt. 183 00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:15,009 Maybe he's learned something. 184 00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:18,003 Maybe he really does care about the environment. 185 00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:22,163 I'm in the money I'm in the money 186 00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:35,520 Did I tell you about the cutest thing Paulina did at the mayor's office? 187 00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:39,240 We don't wanna hear about your fat friends. 188 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,284 They're not fat. 189 00:14:41,530 --> 00:14:44,488 They just eat way, way too much. 190 00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:49,483 I don't get it. Everyone in this town loves what I'm doing but you guys. 191 00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,006 You swine. 192 00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:55,005 And our next-door McNugget. 193 00:14:58,370 --> 00:14:59,883 Do you realize... 194 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:04,408 ...that you have cost me my job at the bank again? 195 00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:08,245 They have demoted me to drive-up teller again! 196 00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,969 What happened? 197 00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,286 Al called the bank president and asked: 198 00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:14,885 "How can you say you're environmentally correct... 199 00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:19,203 ...and yet have an employee who would disconnect her car's smog device?" 200 00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:23,045 I'll have you know that I religiously get my car tuned up... 201 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,804 ...and I will expose you for the liar that you are! 202 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,610 I will prove myself innocent of these false allegations! 203 00:15:28,850 --> 00:15:30,568 My car is no gas-guzzler! 204 00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:33,040 - It is clean as a wh-- - Marcie... 205 00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:36,885 ...I disconnected your smog device. 206 00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:42,968 Did you? 207 00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:48,560 If I maybe so patient as to ask why? 208 00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:50,727 I'm a guy. 209 00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:56,241 Well, just come with me... 210 00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:59,323 ...and we can disconnect that too. 211 00:16:01,570 --> 00:16:05,722 Al, I told you that in the strictest confidence. What're you doing? 212 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,763 Blabbing. 213 00:16:10,530 --> 00:16:12,202 The smog device can be put back on... 214 00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,759 ...if you just give me your credit card. Please! 215 00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:17,162 Man, I love this gig. 216 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,685 I never realized how much power I've got. 217 00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:22,843 But, Dad, if you don't really believe in this ecology stuff... 218 00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:27,242 ...then doesn't that make you a lying bag of sleaze? 219 00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:32,519 Yes, son, but a rich lying bag of sleaze. 220 00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:38,408 You see, we celebrities don't really believe the stuff we're paid to say. 221 00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,720 - Well, then why do you do it? - To make money. 222 00:16:40,970 --> 00:16:42,198 And get out of the house. 223 00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:45,806 That is the American dream, and by God I'm living it! 224 00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:48,803 I'm so happy, I could almost cry. 225 00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:52,759 In fact, I am crying. 226 00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:59,840 My friends and I are doing the right thing. 227 00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:01,409 Why? 228 00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:03,845 Because we're car pooling. 229 00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:09,961 - Good morning, ladies. - Morning, Al. 230 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,405 When I'm off to work, I'm not selfish... 231 00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:16,165 ...because I drive to work with my... 232 00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:18,682 My friends. 233 00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:24,080 - How about some doughnut holes, Al? - Thank you, Monique. 234 00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:26,123 That's enough. 235 00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:30,529 As you can see, when you have a lot riding on your tires... 236 00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:34,285 ...you help not only the environment, but you make friends. 237 00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:38,127 And after a leisurely breakfast of doughnut holes and sorghum... 238 00:17:38,370 --> 00:17:41,168 ...you can sit back and enjoy the ride. 239 00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,845 Mother Nature says, "Hey." 240 00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,728 Father Time says, "Yikes." 241 00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:56,043 Don't worry, you'll have your moment when they start couch pooling. 242 00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:59,690 The girls are coming to discuss next week's itinerary. 243 00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:02,569 Remember, no fat jokes. 244 00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:05,040 But they're fat. 245 00:18:05,890 --> 00:18:09,439 They're not fat. They just have cream filling. 246 00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:12,129 Come in, ladies. 247 00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,326 Hi. 248 00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:17,084 - Got any munchies? - Right over there. 249 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,241 Come on in, everybody. 250 00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:21,720 I'll get some milk. 251 00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:25,443 Here. 252 00:18:29,730 --> 00:18:31,322 Al, wait'll you hear this. 253 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:35,279 We've been invited to Los Angeles. We're gonna be on Vicki. 254 00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:39,364 And do guest voices on Captain Planet. 255 00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:43,005 I haven't been this happy since-- 256 00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:46,128 You installed seats in your refrigerator? 257 00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:55,007 Allow me to introduce my family. This is my wife, Peggy... 258 00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:58,083 ...this is my son, Shecky. 259 00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:00,798 Oh, Al, we're going to L.A. 260 00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:02,847 Just think of the things to see. 261 00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:05,888 Wendy's. Winchell's. Der Weinerschnitzel. 262 00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:09,279 It's so exciting! 263 00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:16,528 Congratulations, Mr. Bundy. 264 00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:20,001 You and your gals have practically put Chicago on the map. 265 00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:23,447 Hey, Chicago was already on the map. 266 00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:26,446 - Do you vote? - No. 267 00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:28,043 Then I wasn't talking to you. 268 00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,246 Now, before you go to L.A... 269 00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:36,765 ...we'd like you to kick off our new campaign... 270 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:40,366 ...by making a speech in front of the most toxic plant in Chicago. 271 00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:44,444 We want you to tell the world that our program is going nationwide... 272 00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:47,602 ...that polluters like this may soon no longer exist. 273 00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:49,038 What do you say? 274 00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,520 - Will there be shrimp? - There will. 275 00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:53,881 We're there! 276 00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:01,883 Daddy. 277 00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,246 In here, pumpkin. 278 00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:08,518 Tomorrow I'm giving a speech and with you getting employee of the month... 279 00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:13,048 - ...and Bud on the queen's list-- - That's dean's list. 280 00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:17,564 Yeah, like there's a difference. 281 00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:20,165 It's gonna be a banner day for the Bundys. 282 00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:23,728 Well, that's just it, Dad. I may not be employee of the month. 283 00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:26,848 See, tomorrow a certain environmental group... 284 00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:29,558 ...will speak in front of the extermination company. 285 00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:32,085 And when they find out that a certain spokesman... 286 00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:36,448 ...is related to a certain verminator, I'm gonna lose my job. 287 00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:40,319 Oh, no. I'm speaking at a horrible toxic-waste plant. 288 00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:42,760 What the hell do you think we are? 289 00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:45,683 I mean, until last week that's how we advertised. 290 00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:48,239 - But, pumpkin. - Pumpkin? 291 00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:50,640 Pie? Where? 292 00:20:57,170 --> 00:21:00,207 Al, you know what you have to do. 293 00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:16,648 You are the greatest daddy in the whole world. 294 00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:19,802 You gave up all your dreams for me. Why? 295 00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:23,599 - Well, I I-- - Love me? 296 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:27,126 No, pumpkin, I was gonna say I lost my mind. 297 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:30,444 So I don't get my 15 minutes of fame. 298 00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,523 That just means Pauly Shore gets a half-hour. 299 00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:37,480 - He is funny, isn't he? - No. 300 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,918 But, pumpkin, my job as a parent is not to be famous... 301 00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:43,688 ...but to do the best that I can... 302 00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:47,041 ...so that my children can have the things I never did. 303 00:21:47,290 --> 00:21:49,246 The world I leave behind. 304 00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:52,607 That is my legacy to you. 305 00:22:08,930 --> 00:22:10,841 You first, sweetheart. 24658

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