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1
00:01:16,130 --> 00:01:18,690
Next upon the Home Shopping Network...
2
00:01:18,930 --> 00:01:22,366
..."Boyfriends of CherCollector Plates."
3
00:01:25,530 --> 00:01:28,169
Who'd wanna eat off
of Gregg Allman?
4
00:01:43,850 --> 00:01:46,045
You won't believe
what they're doing at the mall.
5
00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:51,126
Putting a sign in front of the shoe store
that says, "Over two pairs sold"?
6
00:01:52,650 --> 00:01:54,288
That hurts, Peg.
7
00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:58,569
Not as much as seeing you first thing
in the morning, but that still hurts.
8
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:02,208
Anyway, they're making us
all car pool.
9
00:02:02,450 --> 00:02:05,840
Damn, this cleaner, greener
Chicago program.
10
00:02:06,090 --> 00:02:09,002
Do you realize that they even want us
to conserve water?
11
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:13,766
Well, did you tell them about
how much water you save on showers?
12
00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:16,088
I did.
13
00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:19,683
You know, this conservation crap
has gone a little too far.
14
00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:23,809
What did we take this country from the
Indians for if we're not gonna use it?
15
00:02:24,810 --> 00:02:27,324
Do you know the kind of people
that are doing this, Peg?
16
00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,322
People who won't chop
down one tree...
17
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,727
...but mow their heads
are the kind of people behind this.
18
00:02:39,290 --> 00:02:43,488
Al Bundy, why would you leave
that landfill you call a car running...
19
00:02:43,730 --> 00:02:45,129
...after you come home?
20
00:02:45,370 --> 00:02:48,282
I didn't. It just takes a while to stop.
21
00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:54,559
I mean, when you cut a chicken's
head off it still runs around the room.
22
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,681
There. It's off.
23
00:03:01,370 --> 00:03:05,363
Well, it's cars like yours that make
car pooling necessary...
24
00:03:05,610 --> 00:03:09,125
...which is why I'm glad my bank is one
of the cleaner, greener sponsors.
25
00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:13,886
Marcie, it is a man's God-given right
to drive alone in his car.
26
00:03:14,130 --> 00:03:16,325
A man's car is his castle.
27
00:03:16,570 --> 00:03:18,879
Well, I thought a man's home
was his castle.
28
00:03:19,130 --> 00:03:22,281
It is, if he can slay the dragon
that's living there.
29
00:03:24,970 --> 00:03:27,530
Besides, too many people
in one car spells trouble.
30
00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,561
What do we do
when someone cuts us off?
31
00:03:29,770 --> 00:03:32,238
Are we all supposed
to give him the finger?
32
00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:37,529
No, just whichever one of you
can get it out of his nose first.
33
00:03:38,370 --> 00:03:41,760
A man's nose is also his castle.
34
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:46,209
In my America, a man's car
and his nose is his castle.
35
00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:49,089
Well, in my America...
36
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,729
...there's one giant bus...
37
00:03:50,970 --> 00:03:54,679
...that the whole world gets on
to ride to work together.
38
00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:59,640
And on this bus I greet people
from different lands...
39
00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:03,007
...each in their own native language.
40
00:04:03,450 --> 00:04:05,566
You're talking about the city bus.
41
00:04:08,170 --> 00:04:12,960
Well, I can see this is certainly falling
on a pair of deaf and furry ears.
42
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:16,680
Well! This car pool outrage
will not go unchallenged.
43
00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:20,764
You wanna get something cleaner
and greener? Wash my underwear!
44
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:33,045
Hey, wait a second,
that was a shot at me.
45
00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:36,607
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
it can be from me.
46
00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:40,483
Peg, remember the time
when a man could burn a tank of gas...
47
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:42,925
...backing out of his own driveway?
48
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:47,646
A man took a hooker to a steak house
and no one would even blink an eye?
49
00:04:48,290 --> 00:04:51,168
Peg, why can't we go back
to simpler times?
50
00:04:51,730 --> 00:04:54,085
Al, but look at this place.
51
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:57,322
Any simpler and we'd be bushmen.
52
00:04:58,290 --> 00:05:01,487
You know who I really feel for,
don't you? The kids.
53
00:05:01,690 --> 00:05:03,282
What's the point in being young...
54
00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:06,288
...if you can't get in a big old car
with a really dumb girl?
55
00:05:07,650 --> 00:05:09,083
Dad...
56
00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:17,446
...I got straight A's
and made the dean's list.
57
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,967
Son, I wish you could have been
alive back when I was.
58
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:24,083
Of course, I probably wouldn't
have let you hang out with me...
59
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:28,369
...back when a time when a man could
be a man and a car could be a car.
60
00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:31,522
When we had one hand on the wheel
and one hand on the girl...
61
00:05:31,770 --> 00:05:33,726
...and one hand on the stick.
62
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:37,203
That's what I liked about the old days.
We...
63
00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:39,561
...had more hands.
64
00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:45,926
Mom, I made the dean's list.
65
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:48,286
Oh, and I'm very proud of you.
66
00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:49,849
Now tell me, honey...
67
00:05:50,090 --> 00:05:52,445
...who is this dean?
68
00:05:53,410 --> 00:05:55,640
Is he a nice boy?
69
00:05:57,530 --> 00:05:59,282
Mom. Dad.
70
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:09,682
I am getting a raise
at the extermination company.
71
00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:16,280
I was also voted
Employee of the Month.
72
00:06:16,490 --> 00:06:19,448
So Pest Boys will hold an awards
ceremony for me in a few weeks.
73
00:06:19,650 --> 00:06:21,720
- Oh, I gotta go tell my friends.
- Oh, honey.
74
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:25,599
They might even put my name
on the golden fly swatter.
75
00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:31,646
Oh, Al. Our little girl is all grown-up.
76
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:36,519
Kind of puts this dean's thing
in perspective, don't it?
77
00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:41,642
Kind of puts my genetic makeup
in perspective.
78
00:06:41,890 --> 00:06:44,768
Listen to that, Peg.
Now he's using makeup.
79
00:06:46,010 --> 00:06:49,798
First this dean thing and now this.
80
00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:54,199
Now look what you've done! You get
out of here! You've upset your mother!
81
00:06:58,370 --> 00:07:00,600
Don't answer it, Peg.
He's from the mall.
82
00:07:00,850 --> 00:07:03,410
They're coming to tell me
who I have to car pool with.
83
00:07:03,650 --> 00:07:06,323
As far as I'm concerned,
they can rot out there.
84
00:07:06,850 --> 00:07:08,806
Come in.
85
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:11,325
Or they can rot in here with me.
86
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,488
Hi.
87
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:19,683
Are you Al Bundy?
88
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,645
Why, yes, I am.
89
00:07:29,130 --> 00:07:34,045
Oh, and that's my...
My-- My housekeeper, Consuela.
90
00:07:37,130 --> 00:07:40,566
Oh, Consuela, upstairs-oh.
91
00:07:43,170 --> 00:07:44,603
I'm his wife.
92
00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:47,489
It's a marriage of convenience.
93
00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:50,802
Unfortunately not mine.
I'm deporting her.
94
00:07:51,410 --> 00:07:54,720
Can I get you a drink
or a condominium?
95
00:07:55,450 --> 00:07:56,803
No, thanks, Mr. Bundy.
96
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:59,484
My name is Naomi
and I'm with Victoria's Secret.
97
00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,925
Oh, I love your work.
98
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:05,926
I know. I've seen
your face prints on the window.
99
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:10,448
The mall sent me over here to ask you
if you would join us in our car pool.
100
00:08:10,810 --> 00:08:12,448
I'm in.
101
00:08:13,290 --> 00:08:16,600
Let's go. Adi�s, Consuela!
102
00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:20,846
Actually, I'm not driving, but several
of our models do live in the area.
103
00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:22,762
They do?
104
00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,440
Oh, Consuela...
105
00:08:27,290 --> 00:08:30,839
...we live model adjacent.
106
00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:33,846
Blot your chin...
107
00:08:34,130 --> 00:08:36,121
...and your pants.
108
00:08:37,370 --> 00:08:40,407
So when do my models
come to get me?
109
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,722
- Seven a.m.
- Good, I don't have to be there till 10...
110
00:08:43,930 --> 00:08:50,199
...which gives me a lot of time for
coffee, cartwheels and a cold shower.
111
00:08:50,810 --> 00:08:53,882
He's just kidding about the shower.
112
00:08:54,170 --> 00:08:56,286
- Here are your models' names.
- Why, thank you.
113
00:08:56,530 --> 00:08:58,805
- Bye.
- Bye.
114
00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:10,598
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
115
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:12,882
Oh, my.
116
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:16,609
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
Oh, my.
117
00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:19,762
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
Oh, my.
118
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:36,684
Alexis, Monique and Paulina.
Oh, my.
119
00:09:38,250 --> 00:09:43,404
So they tell me you girls are models
for Victoria's Secret.
120
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:44,878
Oh, we are.
121
00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:48,122
We're Victoria's big secret.
122
00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:53,688
Well, Victoria couldn't keep
a secret this big.
123
00:09:55,370 --> 00:09:57,930
It's a new line of lingerie
for the full-figured woman...
124
00:09:58,130 --> 00:10:02,043
...because you know what they say.
"You're never too big to be sexy."
125
00:10:02,570 --> 00:10:05,130
Oh, and do you know who says that?
126
00:10:06,330 --> 00:10:08,127
Fat girls.
127
00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:15,605
So do you always go to work wearing
a suit and smelling of High Karate?
128
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:20,528
No. Do you always go to work wearing
curtains and smelling of Mars Bars?
129
00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:26,529
Sounds to me like you're full
of self-hate, Mr. Bundy.
130
00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:29,524
Well, at least I'm full.
131
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:35,161
Would you mind turning on the radio,
I feel a crying jag coming on.
132
00:10:35,530 --> 00:10:37,725
Say please.
133
00:10:38,050 --> 00:10:40,564
There's a Chunky in it for you.
134
00:10:46,930 --> 00:10:48,761
Oh, I love this song.
135
00:10:49,010 --> 00:10:51,444
It reminds me of that summer
in Hawaii with Tony.
136
00:10:51,690 --> 00:10:53,203
God, what a lover.
137
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:56,687
Oh, man, he could do it
all night long.
138
00:10:57,450 --> 00:11:00,044
Did I ever tell you about that time
me and Johnny Klog...
139
00:11:00,290 --> 00:11:02,326
...joined the mile-high club?
140
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:06,165
I was wearing this frilly little skirt
and not much underneath.
141
00:11:06,410 --> 00:11:08,844
- Well--
- Pull over!
142
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:16,719
- What?
- Pull over, I've gotta heave.
143
00:11:19,690 --> 00:11:22,329
Shut up, or I'll pound you like
a scaloppini.
144
00:11:22,570 --> 00:11:24,765
We're almost there.
145
00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:29,001
The police. What did we do?
146
00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:32,526
Well, I don't know.
Maybe we missed the truck scale.
147
00:11:39,810 --> 00:11:41,243
But on the positive side...
148
00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:45,278
...maybe they'll get me out of here
before I turn into a diamond.
149
00:11:46,650 --> 00:11:49,722
- What seems to be the problem?
- Hi, I'm Alderman Johnson.
150
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:53,804
- Would you four be car pooling?
- No, I'm their lunch.
151
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,764
- What's up?
- Well, we were following you...
152
00:11:58,010 --> 00:12:00,968
...and laughing and pointing.
153
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:03,678
And as it turns out,
despite our best efforts...
154
00:12:03,930 --> 00:12:07,639
...you're the only people car pooling
in all of Chicago.
155
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:11,405
We're also the only people eating
snickerdoodles by the gallon.
156
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:14,962
Well, we'd like you and your friends
to represent the city...
157
00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:18,680
...in its new media campaign,
"Everybody into the car pool."
158
00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:21,603
Forget it. You got the wrong guy.
159
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:25,280
Well, that's too bad, because your
first promotional appearance...
160
00:12:25,490 --> 00:12:29,165
...would have been courtside
at the Chicago Bulls playoff game.
161
00:12:34,090 --> 00:12:37,605
Say cheesecake.
162
00:12:42,170 --> 00:12:44,320
Oh, here comes your daddy.
163
00:12:49,890 --> 00:12:51,721
Hi, I'm Al Bundy...
164
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,564
...but many of you know me as...
165
00:12:55,130 --> 00:12:56,961
...Al Bundy.
166
00:12:57,450 --> 00:13:00,726
There was a time I scored four
touchdowns in one game on this field...
167
00:13:00,930 --> 00:13:02,807
...but now I can't run four feet...
168
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,518
...without being tackled
by someone else's garbage.
169
00:13:05,890 --> 00:13:08,324
Be a part of my team.
170
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:16,887
Two, four, six, eightPick up litter, clean your plate
171
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:21,169
Yay, Keep Chicago Clean!
172
00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:29,884
Score a touchdown for mother earth.
173
00:13:30,130 --> 00:13:33,440
Let's help keep Chicago
green and clean.
174
00:13:36,370 --> 00:13:37,598
Please.
175
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:45,086
What a load.
176
00:13:46,370 --> 00:13:49,442
Mom, isn't Dad being just
a tad hypocritical?
177
00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:53,729
That was the first time I've seen him
walk the field without taking a whiz.
178
00:13:54,290 --> 00:13:56,724
Since he's been on billboards
and the side of buses...
179
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,689
...he has been an insufferable pig.
180
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:02,286
Whoa, that was a big word.
181
00:14:04,410 --> 00:14:08,369
There are no big words,
just little heads.
182
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:13,439
Now, kids, maybe we should give
your father the benefit of the doubt.
183
00:14:13,690 --> 00:14:15,009
Maybe he's learned something.
184
00:14:15,250 --> 00:14:18,003
Maybe he really does care
about the environment.
185
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:22,163
I'm in the moneyI'm in the money
186
00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:35,520
Did I tell you about the cutest thing
Paulina did at the mayor's office?
187
00:14:35,770 --> 00:14:39,240
We don't wanna hear
about your fat friends.
188
00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:41,284
They're not fat.
189
00:14:41,530 --> 00:14:44,488
They just eat way, way too much.
190
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:49,483
I don't get it. Everyone in this town
loves what I'm doing but you guys.
191
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,006
You swine.
192
00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:55,005
And our next-door McNugget.
193
00:14:58,370 --> 00:14:59,883
Do you realize...
194
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:04,408
...that you have cost me
my job at the bank again?
195
00:15:04,650 --> 00:15:08,245
They have demoted me
to drive-up teller again!
196
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:09,969
What happened?
197
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:12,286
Al called the bank president
and asked:
198
00:15:12,530 --> 00:15:14,885
"How can you say
you're environmentally correct...
199
00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:19,203
...and yet have an employee who would
disconnect her car's smog device?"
200
00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:23,045
I'll have you know that
I religiously get my car tuned up...
201
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,804
...and I will expose you
for the liar that you are!
202
00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,610
I will prove myself innocent
of these false allegations!
203
00:15:28,850 --> 00:15:30,568
My car is no gas-guzzler!
204
00:15:30,810 --> 00:15:33,040
- It is clean as a wh--
- Marcie...
205
00:15:34,530 --> 00:15:36,885
...I disconnected your smog device.
206
00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:42,968
Did you?
207
00:15:45,090 --> 00:15:48,560
If I maybe so patient as to ask why?
208
00:15:48,930 --> 00:15:50,727
I'm a guy.
209
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:56,241
Well, just come with me...
210
00:15:56,490 --> 00:15:59,323
...and we can disconnect that too.
211
00:16:01,570 --> 00:16:05,722
Al, I told you that in the strictest
confidence. What're you doing?
212
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:07,763
Blabbing.
213
00:16:10,530 --> 00:16:12,202
The smog device
can be put back on...
214
00:16:12,450 --> 00:16:14,759
...if you just give me your credit card.
Please!
215
00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:17,162
Man, I love this gig.
216
00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:19,685
I never realized
how much power I've got.
217
00:16:20,010 --> 00:16:22,843
But, Dad, if you don't
really believe in this ecology stuff...
218
00:16:23,090 --> 00:16:27,242
...then doesn't that make you
a lying bag of sleaze?
219
00:16:27,650 --> 00:16:32,519
Yes, son, but a rich
lying bag of sleaze.
220
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:38,408
You see, we celebrities don't really
believe the stuff we're paid to say.
221
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,720
- Well, then why do you do it?
- To make money.
222
00:16:40,970 --> 00:16:42,198
And get out of the house.
223
00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:45,806
That is the American dream,
and by God I'm living it!
224
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:48,803
I'm so happy, I could almost cry.
225
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:52,759
In fact, I am crying.
226
00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:59,840
My friends and Iare doing the right thing.
227
00:17:00,090 --> 00:17:01,409
Why?
228
00:17:01,650 --> 00:17:03,845
Because we're car pooling.
229
00:17:06,730 --> 00:17:09,961
- Good morning, ladies.
- Morning, Al.
230
00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:12,405
When I'm off to work,I'm not selfish...
231
00:17:12,650 --> 00:17:16,165
...because I drive to work with my...
232
00:17:16,930 --> 00:17:18,682
My friends.
233
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:24,080
- How about some doughnut holes, Al?
- Thank you, Monique.
234
00:17:24,690 --> 00:17:26,123
That's enough.
235
00:17:26,490 --> 00:17:30,529
As you can see, when you havea lot riding on your tires...
236
00:17:30,770 --> 00:17:34,285
...you help not only the environment,but you make friends.
237
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:38,127
And after a leisurely breakfastof doughnut holes and sorghum...
238
00:17:38,370 --> 00:17:41,168
...you can sit backand enjoy the ride.
239
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,845
Mother Nature says, "Hey."
240
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:51,728
Father Time says, "Yikes."
241
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:56,043
Don't worry, you'll have your moment
when they start couch pooling.
242
00:17:57,130 --> 00:17:59,690
The girls are coming
to discuss next week's itinerary.
243
00:17:59,930 --> 00:18:02,569
Remember, no fat jokes.
244
00:18:02,810 --> 00:18:05,040
But they're fat.
245
00:18:05,890 --> 00:18:09,439
They're not fat.
They just have cream filling.
246
00:18:10,810 --> 00:18:12,129
Come in, ladies.
247
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,326
Hi.
248
00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:17,084
- Got any munchies?
- Right over there.
249
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,241
Come on in, everybody.
250
00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:21,720
I'll get some milk.
251
00:18:24,010 --> 00:18:25,443
Here.
252
00:18:29,730 --> 00:18:31,322
Al, wait'll you hear this.
253
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:35,279
We've been invited to Los Angeles.
We're gonna be on Vicki.
254
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:39,364
And do guest voices
on Captain Planet.
255
00:18:40,810 --> 00:18:43,005
I haven't been this happy since--
256
00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:46,128
You installed seats
in your refrigerator?
257
00:18:51,970 --> 00:18:55,007
Allow me to introduce my family.
This is my wife, Peggy...
258
00:18:55,250 --> 00:18:58,083
...this is my son, Shecky.
259
00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:00,798
Oh, Al, we're going to L.A.
260
00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:02,847
Just think of the things to see.
261
00:19:03,090 --> 00:19:05,888
Wendy's. Winchell's.
Der Weinerschnitzel.
262
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:09,279
It's so exciting!
263
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:16,528
Congratulations, Mr. Bundy.
264
00:19:16,770 --> 00:19:20,001
You and your gals have practically
put Chicago on the map.
265
00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:23,447
Hey, Chicago
was already on the map.
266
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:26,446
- Do you vote?
- No.
267
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:28,043
Then I wasn't talking to you.
268
00:19:32,130 --> 00:19:34,246
Now, before you go to L.A...
269
00:19:34,490 --> 00:19:36,765
...we'd like you to kick off
our new campaign...
270
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:40,366
...by making a speech in front
of the most toxic plant in Chicago.
271
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:44,444
We want you to tell the world
that our program is going nationwide...
272
00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:47,602
...that polluters like this
may soon no longer exist.
273
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:49,038
What do you say?
274
00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,520
- Will there be shrimp?
- There will.
275
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:53,881
We're there!
276
00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:01,883
Daddy.
277
00:20:02,130 --> 00:20:04,246
In here, pumpkin.
278
00:20:04,730 --> 00:20:08,518
Tomorrow I'm giving a speech and with
you getting employee of the month...
279
00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:13,048
- ...and Bud on the queen's list--
- That's dean's list.
280
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:17,564
Yeah, like there's a difference.
281
00:20:17,890 --> 00:20:20,165
It's gonna be a banner day
for the Bundys.
282
00:20:20,770 --> 00:20:23,728
Well, that's just it, Dad.
I may not be employee of the month.
283
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:26,848
See, tomorrow
a certain environmental group...
284
00:20:27,090 --> 00:20:29,558
...will speak
in front of the extermination company.
285
00:20:29,810 --> 00:20:32,085
And when they find out that
a certain spokesman...
286
00:20:32,330 --> 00:20:36,448
...is related to a certain verminator,
I'm gonna lose my job.
287
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:40,319
Oh, no. I'm speaking
at a horrible toxic-waste plant.
288
00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:42,760
What the hell do you think we are?
289
00:20:43,010 --> 00:20:45,683
I mean, until last week
that's how we advertised.
290
00:20:45,930 --> 00:20:48,239
- But, pumpkin.
- Pumpkin?
291
00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:50,640
Pie? Where?
292
00:20:57,170 --> 00:21:00,207
Al, you know what you have to do.
293
00:21:13,850 --> 00:21:16,648
You are the greatest daddy
in the whole world.
294
00:21:16,890 --> 00:21:19,802
You gave up all your dreams for me.
Why?
295
00:21:20,050 --> 00:21:23,599
- Well, I I--
- Love me?
296
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:27,126
No, pumpkin,
I was gonna say I lost my mind.
297
00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:30,444
So I don't get my 15 minutes of fame.
298
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:33,523
That just means
Pauly Shore gets a half-hour.
299
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:37,480
- He is funny, isn't he?
- No.
300
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:41,918
But, pumpkin, my job as a parent
is not to be famous...
301
00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:43,688
...but to do the best that I can...
302
00:21:43,890 --> 00:21:47,041
...so that my children
can have the things I never did.
303
00:21:47,290 --> 00:21:49,246
The world I leave behind.
304
00:21:49,490 --> 00:21:52,607
That is my legacy to you.
305
00:22:08,930 --> 00:22:10,841
You first, sweetheart.
24658
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