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1
00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:03,973
♪♪ [harmonica]
2
00:00:06,377 --> 00:00:08,577
[doorbell rings]
3
00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:13,449
Dan, wake up.
4
00:00:13,451 --> 00:00:14,850
Somebody's at the door.
5
00:00:14,852 --> 00:00:16,385
What?
6
00:00:16,387 --> 00:00:18,154
Dan, wake up.
7
00:00:21,926 --> 00:00:25,528
Who the hell can it be
at 2 in the morning?
8
00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:27,195
[doorbell rings]
9
00:00:27,197 --> 00:00:30,265
I don't know,
but whoever it is,
they're not going away.
10
00:00:33,202 --> 00:00:36,470
Oh, I had the weirdest dream.
11
00:00:36,472 --> 00:00:38,640
I was-- I finished my boat.
12
00:00:38,642 --> 00:00:41,275
Yeah,
that really was a dream.
13
00:00:47,183 --> 00:00:49,751
I caught this big fish
with teeth,
14
00:00:49,753 --> 00:00:51,152
and it kept biting me.
15
00:00:51,154 --> 00:00:52,353
I think it was a barracuda.
16
00:00:52,355 --> 00:00:54,555
Anyway, it wouldn't
stop biting me.
17
00:00:54,557 --> 00:00:56,357
What do you think
that means?
18
00:00:58,794 --> 00:00:59,993
Mom!
19
00:01:07,002 --> 00:01:11,670
♪ If what doesn't kill us is makin' us stronger ♪
20
00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,839
♪ We're gonna last longer ♪
21
00:01:13,841 --> 00:01:16,675
♪ Than the greatest wall in China ♪
22
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,845
♪ Or that rabbit with a drum ♪
23
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:24,016
♪ If there's one thing that I've learned ♪
24
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,184
♪ While waiting for my turn ♪
25
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:29,187
♪ It's that in each life some rain falls ♪
26
00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:32,357
♪ But you also get some sun ♪
27
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:36,361
♪ And we'll make out better than okay ♪
28
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:39,197
♪ Hear what I say ♪
29
00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:43,801
♪ Yeah, any day ♪
30
00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:50,407
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
31
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,285
Mom, why didn't you
call us and tell us
32
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,453
you'd been released?
33
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:04,588
Well, there's only one phone
for the patients,
34
00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:07,691
and that Mrs. Dempsey,
the one with Alzheimer's,
35
00:02:07,693 --> 00:02:09,593
she refused to get
off the phone
36
00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:13,263
until she remembered
who she was talking to, so--
37
00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:17,034
so I just-- I gave up,
and I hit the road.
38
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:20,137
Well, we're very happy
to see you, Audrey,
39
00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:22,306
but, you know, we could have
picked you up at the airport.
40
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,807
Oh, I didn't fly.
I came by bus.
41
00:02:24,809 --> 00:02:26,575
The bus?
42
00:02:26,577 --> 00:02:29,477
Mom, we--
we've got money now.
43
00:02:29,479 --> 00:02:31,114
We-- We could've
flown you here.
44
00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:32,381
Yeah, first class:
45
00:02:32,383 --> 00:02:36,152
slippers, hot towels,
the works.
46
00:02:36,154 --> 00:02:37,852
No, heavens, no, dear.
47
00:02:37,854 --> 00:02:39,788
I had a lovely seat
on the bus.
48
00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:45,259
And besides, I can't
go to the bathroom
on a plane.
49
00:02:45,261 --> 00:02:48,396
Those big blue blocks
of poo-poo,
50
00:02:48,398 --> 00:02:50,265
they fall from the sky.
51
00:02:52,268 --> 00:02:54,501
And they kill people.
52
00:02:56,206 --> 00:02:58,106
I don't want
to be responsible.
53
00:03:00,443 --> 00:03:03,009
Mom, are you sure
you're okay?
54
00:03:03,011 --> 00:03:04,279
Oh.
55
00:03:04,281 --> 00:03:06,147
Oh, don't worry
about me, dear.
56
00:03:06,149 --> 00:03:10,083
I'm just so happy
to be out of that place.
57
00:03:10,085 --> 00:03:13,020
I really miss
the simple things,
you know,
58
00:03:13,022 --> 00:03:17,491
like sitting down
to a cup of tea
with my family...
59
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,162
and having a fork.
60
00:03:24,032 --> 00:03:27,833
You never know
how much you miss
the simple things
61
00:03:27,835 --> 00:03:31,437
until they're wrenched
from your hand.
62
00:03:32,874 --> 00:03:34,841
So, wh-what did the doctor say?
63
00:03:34,843 --> 00:03:36,142
Do you-- Do you need
any follow-up?
64
00:03:36,144 --> 00:03:39,411
No, they said I'm well.
Voilà!
65
00:03:39,413 --> 00:03:43,549
Yes. I don't need to go
back there anymore.
66
00:03:43,551 --> 00:03:47,553
I'm 100% completely cured.
67
00:03:47,555 --> 00:03:50,855
Yes, I-- In fact, I...
68
00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:55,194
I don't think I ever
needed to be there.
69
00:03:55,196 --> 00:03:56,428
Don't worry.
70
00:03:56,430 --> 00:04:00,365
We'll take very good care
of your mother.
71
00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:01,966
[chuckles]
72
00:04:01,968 --> 00:04:03,901
[both laughing]
73
00:04:14,512 --> 00:04:17,114
Well, that's great.
74
00:04:17,116 --> 00:04:19,283
I'd skip and leap
around with glee,
75
00:04:19,285 --> 00:04:21,119
but it's 3 in the morning.
76
00:04:21,121 --> 00:04:23,454
Yeah, come on, Audrey.
Let me show you to your room.
77
00:04:23,456 --> 00:04:24,955
Oh, no, dear.
Don't bother.
78
00:04:24,957 --> 00:04:27,424
I'll just sit here
and wait for you
to wake up.
79
00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,529
My son...
80
00:04:32,531 --> 00:04:36,166
I gave you life.
81
00:04:36,168 --> 00:04:39,002
And you've made my life
82
00:04:39,004 --> 00:04:41,204
what it is today.
83
00:04:48,380 --> 00:04:50,112
Well, we're gonna
hit the hay!
84
00:04:53,384 --> 00:04:54,483
Honey?
85
00:04:56,554 --> 00:04:58,753
First thing in the morning,
I'm calling that doctor.
86
00:05:03,194 --> 00:05:04,558
[giggles]
87
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,495
There. There. Mm-mm!
88
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:18,505
Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Esterhaus.
89
00:05:18,507 --> 00:05:20,241
Hi. This is Dan Conner.
90
00:05:20,243 --> 00:05:21,408
Audrey Conner's son.
91
00:05:21,410 --> 00:05:24,677
Yeah-- Yeah,
thank you. Umm...
92
00:05:24,679 --> 00:05:27,348
the reason I'm calling
is because...
93
00:05:27,350 --> 00:05:29,249
my mother showed up
here last night,
94
00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:31,484
and, uh, I--
95
00:05:31,486 --> 00:05:33,453
Oh, you did?
96
00:05:33,455 --> 00:05:35,789
Okay, so everything's
all right, then.
97
00:05:35,791 --> 00:05:38,391
Okay, fine. Yeah, we were
just a little worried
98
00:05:38,393 --> 00:05:40,426
because she showed up here
99
00:05:40,428 --> 00:05:42,861
in the middle of
the night, and, uh--
100
00:05:42,863 --> 00:05:44,231
Okay, well, yeah,
thank you.
101
00:05:44,233 --> 00:05:46,498
I-I guess that's
all I needed to know.
102
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:48,434
Thanks.
103
00:05:48,436 --> 00:05:49,636
So what did
the doctor say?
104
00:05:49,638 --> 00:05:51,538
He said he signed
the release form himself,
105
00:05:51,540 --> 00:05:53,306
and she's gonna be fine
106
00:05:53,308 --> 00:05:55,208
as long as she keeps
taking her medication.
107
00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:56,742
See, honey.
I told you.
108
00:05:56,744 --> 00:05:59,212
Everything's okay.
You got nothing to
worry about.
109
00:05:59,214 --> 00:06:01,581
She's as normal
as you or me.
110
00:06:01,583 --> 00:06:03,148
[pound pound]
111
00:06:04,017 --> 00:06:07,052
Mom. Mom! Mom! Mom!
112
00:06:07,054 --> 00:06:08,053
What are you doing?
113
00:06:08,055 --> 00:06:11,557
Just whacking
some nuts.
114
00:06:11,559 --> 00:06:14,025
Umm...you're cooking?
115
00:06:14,027 --> 00:06:15,660
You don't know
how to cook.
116
00:06:15,662 --> 00:06:17,261
Well, of course
I do, dear.
117
00:06:17,263 --> 00:06:21,099
I read somewhere if you
can read, you can cook.
118
00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:25,136
I'm making some pancakes
for my Danny boy.
119
00:06:25,138 --> 00:06:28,606
♪ Danny boy, the piles,
the pipes are smiling ♪
120
00:06:28,608 --> 00:06:30,441
Is that-- that batter
supposed to be
121
00:06:30,443 --> 00:06:31,809
all lumpy like that?
122
00:06:31,811 --> 00:06:33,578
Dear, those
are just the nuts.
123
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,681
Well, it looks
yummy-yummy, but, uh,
124
00:06:37,683 --> 00:06:39,617
I'm afraid I can't
eat pancakes.
What?
125
00:06:39,619 --> 00:06:41,285
I'm on kind of a diet.
126
00:06:41,287 --> 00:06:44,754
Oh, come on. One isn't
going to kill you.
127
00:06:44,756 --> 00:06:46,656
No, I gotta be good.
128
00:06:46,658 --> 00:06:49,493
But I'm sure
the rest of the family
will just love it.
129
00:06:49,495 --> 00:06:50,494
No!
130
00:06:53,765 --> 00:06:56,065
This was meant for you.
131
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:58,633
If you're not going
to have it, then...
132
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,470
nobody else is
going to have it.
133
00:07:12,484 --> 00:07:16,050
Well, I had such a wonderful
time this afternoon.
134
00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:19,588
Darlene and David's
little girl is so beautiful.
135
00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:21,223
Yeah, she sure is.
136
00:07:21,225 --> 00:07:23,724
That little girl is gonna
break a lot of hearts.
137
00:07:23,726 --> 00:07:28,130
Yes. Children are good
at that, aren't they? Hmm.
138
00:07:28,132 --> 00:07:30,097
This is so nice,
isn't it?
139
00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:32,400
Just being
together like this.
140
00:07:32,402 --> 00:07:34,503
Sure is.
141
00:07:34,505 --> 00:07:36,170
Yes, when you were
a little boy,
142
00:07:36,172 --> 00:07:38,739
you'd come and put
your head in my lap,
143
00:07:38,741 --> 00:07:42,143
and we'd just sit
and talk things.
144
00:07:42,145 --> 00:07:43,910
Yeah.
[chuckling]
145
00:07:43,912 --> 00:07:46,280
Do you remember when I
used to bring you out
146
00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:49,283
to the parties,
to the the twist?
147
00:07:49,285 --> 00:07:51,552
[snorts]
Then one time--
148
00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:56,456
one time, you-- you threw up
on your father's boss.
149
00:07:56,458 --> 00:07:57,923
[chuckling]
Yeah!
150
00:07:57,925 --> 00:07:59,325
Mr. Crayton, remember?
151
00:07:59,327 --> 00:08:01,528
Yeah, Mr. Crayton.
I had that real bad flu,
152
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:02,995
and you dragged me
out of bed, and...
153
00:08:02,997 --> 00:08:04,430
it's almost like
you wanted me
154
00:08:04,432 --> 00:08:05,864
to throw up on Mr. Crayton!
155
00:08:05,866 --> 00:08:07,033
You hated him.
156
00:08:07,035 --> 00:08:08,468
No, I didn't
hate him, dear.
157
00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:10,270
I thought
he was a moron.
158
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:12,438
There's a big difference.
159
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:14,306
You seen, when you
hate someone,
160
00:08:14,308 --> 00:08:16,408
well, you almost
have this...
161
00:08:16,410 --> 00:08:17,843
violent feeling.
162
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:20,747
But when you think
they're morons,
163
00:08:20,749 --> 00:08:23,315
you just hope for their
unhappiness and failure.
164
00:08:23,317 --> 00:08:25,016
That's the difference.
165
00:08:25,018 --> 00:08:27,453
But you never listen
to your own mother.
166
00:08:27,455 --> 00:08:28,919
Yeah. That was the most
167
00:08:28,921 --> 00:08:31,055
humiliating night
of my life.
168
00:08:31,057 --> 00:08:34,992
Not as humiliating as trying
to eat a steak with a spoon
169
00:08:34,994 --> 00:08:38,362
in a cafeteria with
a bunch of nervous patients.
170
00:08:40,467 --> 00:08:43,167
We'll take very good care of your mother.
171
00:08:54,713 --> 00:08:57,414
Mom, what do you say
we bury the hatchet?
172
00:08:57,416 --> 00:09:00,483
[gasp]
I didn't know
you had a hatchet.
173
00:09:03,622 --> 00:09:04,855
Where is it, dear?
174
00:09:06,392 --> 00:09:08,292
Mom, it's just an expression.
175
00:09:08,294 --> 00:09:10,160
We don't have a hatchet.
176
00:09:10,162 --> 00:09:12,562
It means we just
stop arguing.
177
00:09:12,564 --> 00:09:13,963
Oh, dear,
we're not arguing.
178
00:09:13,965 --> 00:09:15,899
We understand each other
perfectly.
179
00:09:15,901 --> 00:09:17,433
At least I understand you.
180
00:09:17,435 --> 00:09:19,201
You've never understood me.
181
00:09:19,203 --> 00:09:21,904
You always overreacted
182
00:09:21,906 --> 00:09:23,872
to my little
eccentricities.
183
00:09:25,009 --> 00:09:28,777
And if you throw someone
into the hospital,
184
00:09:28,779 --> 00:09:31,946
be sure you get
a second opinion!
185
00:09:34,018 --> 00:09:35,250
Well...
186
00:09:35,252 --> 00:09:37,953
Well, my. Wasn't that
a nice chat?
187
00:09:40,024 --> 00:09:42,623
I think that I'll just go
and take a little nap.
188
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:45,460
Dear, tell me. Do you
have a space heater?
189
00:09:45,462 --> 00:09:48,496
Because it gets so
chilly in the basement.
190
00:09:48,498 --> 00:09:52,132
Yeah, I think we got one
out in the garage.
191
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:53,367
Thank you.
192
00:09:55,405 --> 00:09:56,470
[door closes]
193
00:09:59,175 --> 00:10:00,708
[another door closes]
194
00:10:03,079 --> 00:10:05,479
[engine running]
195
00:10:15,590 --> 00:10:16,556
[door slams shut]
196
00:10:17,626 --> 00:10:19,358
[banging]
197
00:10:20,528 --> 00:10:23,529
[coughing]
Help!
198
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,164
Help!
199
00:10:27,435 --> 00:10:29,068
Help!
200
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,814
Okay. Now the point is to sit
close enough to the movie
201
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,816
so it fills your
whole field of vision.
202
00:10:44,818 --> 00:10:47,952
But the tradeoffs
are foreshortened image
203
00:10:47,954 --> 00:10:50,888
and an inoptimal reception
of the THX sound.
204
00:10:50,890 --> 00:10:53,324
My goodness. In my day,
we just worried about
205
00:10:53,326 --> 00:10:55,225
sitting behind
somebody with a hat.
206
00:10:57,196 --> 00:10:59,230
Prozac, Lithobid, Xanax.
207
00:10:59,232 --> 00:11:00,932
You've got a pretty
good mix there.
208
00:11:02,001 --> 00:11:03,968
Not polite to read
somebody else's
209
00:11:03,970 --> 00:11:06,103
prescription labels,
dear.
210
00:11:06,105 --> 00:11:07,973
Oh. Well, I didn't
read the labels.
211
00:11:07,975 --> 00:11:09,240
I recognized the pills.
212
00:11:09,242 --> 00:11:11,008
You-- you--
you've taken these?
213
00:11:11,010 --> 00:11:14,879
No. My mom has.
Plus Mellaril, Xanax,
Risperdal,
214
00:11:14,881 --> 00:11:16,614
Haldol, Thorazine,
you name it.
215
00:11:16,616 --> 00:11:18,782
My goodness.
What does she
need them for?
216
00:11:18,784 --> 00:11:20,183
Oh, she's a little
whacked!
217
00:11:22,888 --> 00:11:24,553
You know. So whenever
she felt bad,
218
00:11:24,555 --> 00:11:25,922
she just popped every pill
219
00:11:25,924 --> 00:11:27,824
and hoped that one of them
would make her feel better.
220
00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:31,827
You know, Heather,
we gotta go.
221
00:11:31,829 --> 00:11:34,264
D.J., the movie's not
for another two hours.
222
00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:36,699
Oh, no. Are we
really that late?
223
00:11:36,701 --> 00:11:39,268
What on earth are you kids
having to leave so early for?
224
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,470
Oh, we're gonna go see
Return of the Jedi.
225
00:11:41,472 --> 00:11:43,505
You must have heard
of it, Grandma.
226
00:11:43,507 --> 00:11:45,874
It's a late-'70s
sci-fi genre pic.
227
00:11:45,876 --> 00:11:48,443
Yeah, but so were Star Wars
and The Empire Strikes Back,
228
00:11:48,445 --> 00:11:50,378
and you weren't nearly
as excited to see them.
229
00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:51,646
Yeah, well,
230
00:11:51,648 --> 00:11:53,748
this does have a few
features the other two lack.
231
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,650
Yeah? Like what?
232
00:11:55,652 --> 00:11:57,151
Well, you know, advancements
233
00:11:57,153 --> 00:11:58,820
in special effects,
and sound quality,
234
00:11:58,822 --> 00:12:00,221
and a whole lot of scenes
235
00:12:00,223 --> 00:12:01,623
with Princess Leia
in a bikini.
236
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:03,424
Ohh!
237
00:12:03,426 --> 00:12:04,893
What'd you do that for?
238
00:12:06,629 --> 00:12:09,663
I'm sorry. I don't
know why I did that.
239
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:16,771
What's going on? I thought
I heard glass breaking!
240
00:12:16,773 --> 00:12:19,840
You didn't hear me yelling?
I couldn't get the door open.
241
00:12:19,842 --> 00:12:21,508
Uh, well,
to get out a door,
242
00:12:21,510 --> 00:12:24,344
you do what you
did to get in,
only backwards.
243
00:12:24,346 --> 00:12:25,679
Honey, this is serious.
244
00:12:25,681 --> 00:12:27,147
Somebody turned
a motorcycle on...
245
00:12:27,149 --> 00:12:28,915
[swallows hard]
246
00:12:28,917 --> 00:12:31,585
and if I hadn't broken
that glass, I would have
died in there.
247
00:12:31,587 --> 00:12:34,888
Well, yeah. Or you
could just have turned
the motorcycle off.
248
00:12:34,890 --> 00:12:37,089
By then, the whole place
was filled with exhaust.
249
00:12:37,091 --> 00:12:40,093
Well, I always said
that motorcycle
was dangerous.
250
00:12:40,095 --> 00:12:41,094
You know what?
251
00:12:42,831 --> 00:12:44,697
I don't think
this was an accident.
252
00:12:44,699 --> 00:12:46,365
Oh, don't be
ridiculous, Dan.
253
00:12:46,367 --> 00:12:48,034
You probably
just locked
yourself in there.
254
00:12:48,036 --> 00:12:49,668
Somebody had to
close that door.
255
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:52,038
Doors just don't
shut by themselves.
256
00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:53,905
Somebody like...
the wind?
257
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,643
Yes, and I suppose Mr. Wind
started the motorcycle up, too.
258
00:12:57,645 --> 00:12:58,777
Honey...
259
00:13:00,481 --> 00:13:02,279
I think my mom's
trying to kill me.
260
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,784
Okay, don't be
ridiculous, Dan.
261
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,552
How much of that exhaust
did you breathe in?
262
00:13:07,554 --> 00:13:09,554
Apparently not as much
as she wanted me to.
263
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,389
That is crazy. Why
would she want to do
something like that?
264
00:13:12,391 --> 00:13:14,026
I think
she's still mad at me
265
00:13:14,028 --> 00:13:15,426
for putting her
in the hospital.
266
00:13:15,428 --> 00:13:17,261
Dan, that was over
20 years ago!
267
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,896
I'm sure she's
over it by now.
268
00:13:18,898 --> 00:13:21,733
I think she's still
got it in for me.
269
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:25,402
You know, you really need
to stop blaming your mother
270
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:26,804
for all of your problems.
271
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:30,874
Honey, the woman just
got out of the hospital.
272
00:13:30,876 --> 00:13:33,643
Yeah. Out. Remember?
273
00:13:33,645 --> 00:13:35,546
The doctor told her
she was fine.
274
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,347
No, the doctor
told her she was fine
275
00:13:37,349 --> 00:13:39,315
as long as she keeps
taking her medication.
276
00:13:39,317 --> 00:13:40,950
Maybe--
maybe she's stopped.
277
00:13:40,952 --> 00:13:44,554
Well, I really think
that you're worried
about nothing, Dan.
278
00:13:44,556 --> 00:13:46,555
But, uh,
just to be safe,
279
00:13:46,557 --> 00:13:48,390
maybe you wanna start
carrying around a whistle?
280
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,093
Okay, come on,
Heather. Let's go.
281
00:13:51,095 --> 00:13:53,796
God, would you relax?
We've got plenty of time.
282
00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:55,631
No, we don't!
The Lanford Sci-Fi Club
283
00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:58,166
has been lined up
since yesterday.
284
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,469
Hey, wait a minute.
Shouldn't you leave
those swords here?
285
00:14:00,471 --> 00:14:02,772
You certainly can't take
them to the theater with you.
286
00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:04,173
Yeah, we can!
They're just toys.
287
00:14:04,175 --> 00:14:05,808
Besides, I'd like
to see 'em try
288
00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:07,243
and take it
away from me.
289
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:09,211
Oh!
Come on, come on, come on!
290
00:14:09,213 --> 00:14:10,311
Come on, D.J.!
291
00:14:10,313 --> 00:14:12,747
Let's see who the real...
292
00:14:12,749 --> 00:14:14,416
Jedi Knight is!
Ha ha ha, ha-ha!
293
00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:15,916
Grandma,
this is not real!
294
00:14:15,918 --> 00:14:17,918
Put your hand on your hip
like Errol Flynn!
295
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,453
I'm gonna get you.
Stop it, Grandma!
296
00:14:19,455 --> 00:14:20,555
Kill! Kill! Kill!
I surrender!
297
00:14:20,557 --> 00:14:23,057
Let me surrender!
Ahh!
298
00:14:23,059 --> 00:14:25,793
Mom! Mom! Mom!
299
00:14:25,795 --> 00:14:27,028
Mom! What
are you doing?
300
00:14:27,030 --> 00:14:28,863
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Hello.
301
00:14:28,865 --> 00:14:30,165
Isn't it time
for your medication?
302
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:31,933
Thank you.
303
00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:35,235
Thank you...for
reminding me.
304
00:14:35,237 --> 00:14:38,606
Here, Audrey. Let me
get you a glass of water.
305
00:14:38,608 --> 00:14:41,341
I'd be lost
without you two.
306
00:14:41,343 --> 00:14:44,011
I'd hate to forget
my pills.
307
00:14:53,688 --> 00:14:56,422
Okay. I'm gonna go
take a shower.
308
00:15:00,295 --> 00:15:03,028
Hey, honey! Where's
that big white towel?
309
00:15:03,030 --> 00:15:05,230
It's in
the linen cabinet!
310
00:15:05,232 --> 00:15:07,666
Only it's
a gray towel now.
311
00:15:10,805 --> 00:15:12,838
I just can't believe it
when people don't see
312
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,573
what's right in front
of their face.
313
00:15:29,355 --> 00:15:31,388
Well, that was
just marvelous.
314
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:34,658
I don't remember the park
having that many flowers.
315
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:37,128
Well, the last time
we went--
316
00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:38,228
Wait a minute.
317
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,397
Have we ever been
to that park before?
318
00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:41,698
[raspberry]
319
00:15:42,969 --> 00:15:44,434
Ah, it was so relaxing,
320
00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:46,771
just being outdoors
on a lovely spring day.
321
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:48,371
Thank you very much
for taking me.
322
00:15:48,373 --> 00:15:50,573
Oh, I'm glad you
enjoyed it, Audrey.
323
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:53,510
I'm gonna make
a nice pot of tea.
324
00:15:53,512 --> 00:15:56,813
See, Dan? I told you
your mother's totally fine.
325
00:15:56,815 --> 00:15:58,347
You just totally
overreacted.
326
00:15:58,349 --> 00:16:00,182
Yeah. I-I gotta admit,
327
00:16:00,184 --> 00:16:01,751
she was great today.
328
00:16:01,753 --> 00:16:04,052
Yeah. You know,
the kids were probably
just playing in the garage
329
00:16:04,054 --> 00:16:06,221
and turned the bike on
and forgot to turn it off.
330
00:16:06,223 --> 00:16:07,791
Your mom had nothing
to do with it.
331
00:16:07,793 --> 00:16:09,625
Yeah, you're probably right.
332
00:16:09,627 --> 00:16:11,327
Yeah, what was I thinking?
333
00:16:11,329 --> 00:16:12,661
I don't know.
But, you know,
334
00:16:12,663 --> 00:16:14,096
at least now you
don't have to worry.
335
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,398
You can just relax
and enjoy your mom's visit.
336
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,433
Yeah.
I'm gonna go put Jerry
down for a nap.
337
00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:22,771
Nah.
338
00:16:25,141 --> 00:16:27,042
[groaning]
339
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,645
[deep breath]
340
00:16:29,647 --> 00:16:31,212
Dan, I made
you some--
341
00:16:31,214 --> 00:16:33,647
[soft snoring]
342
00:16:33,649 --> 00:16:36,417
[sinister laughter]
343
00:16:50,867 --> 00:16:52,165
[snoring]
344
00:16:55,171 --> 00:16:56,269
Whoa!
345
00:16:56,271 --> 00:16:58,672
Wherever did you get
this lovely thing, dear?
346
00:16:58,674 --> 00:17:01,108
Look, look how it
looks like a rainbow,
347
00:17:01,110 --> 00:17:03,710
with the lights
coming through.
348
00:17:03,712 --> 00:17:04,911
Sure does.
349
00:17:04,913 --> 00:17:07,147
You always did love art,
didn't you, dear?
350
00:17:07,149 --> 00:17:08,148
I did?
351
00:17:11,653 --> 00:17:14,586
Darling, do you remember
the lovely necklace
352
00:17:14,588 --> 00:17:17,023
that I promised you
when I was making macrame
353
00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:19,224
from the tea-bag strings?
354
00:17:19,226 --> 00:17:21,026
No--
[choking]
355
00:17:23,897 --> 00:17:25,531
What's happening?
356
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:27,832
Oh, just reminiscing.
Art. Art--
357
00:17:27,834 --> 00:17:29,301
Reminiscing, my ass!
358
00:17:29,303 --> 00:17:30,803
That woman's
trying to kill me!
359
00:17:30,805 --> 00:17:33,471
I'm telling you, it was her
that shut that garage door!
360
00:17:33,473 --> 00:17:35,673
That's it!
I'm calling the hospital!
361
00:17:35,675 --> 00:17:37,209
[door closes]
She's going back!
362
00:17:37,211 --> 00:17:38,409
Don't call
the hospital, Dan!
363
00:17:38,411 --> 00:17:40,277
They can take away
any one of us!
364
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,851
[humming]
365
00:17:46,853 --> 00:17:49,454
[roaring]
366
00:17:49,456 --> 00:17:51,487
Ooh, I'm sorry, dear.
367
00:17:51,489 --> 00:17:54,058
Ah! I though
you were Dan.
368
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:56,894
Audrey, what
are you doing?
369
00:17:56,896 --> 00:18:00,130
Oh, I didn't get much
exercise at the hospital.
370
00:18:00,132 --> 00:18:04,335
Ooh. Okay. You're gonna
think this sounds crazy,
you know,
371
00:18:04,337 --> 00:18:06,270
but Dan thinks you're
trying to kill him.
372
00:18:06,272 --> 00:18:09,273
Oh, no. Dear, no.
373
00:18:09,275 --> 00:18:10,507
I'm not going
to kill him.
374
00:18:10,509 --> 00:18:12,676
I'm going to
bury him alive.
375
00:18:14,479 --> 00:18:17,948
Okay, I know you're kidding
when you say stuff like that,
376
00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:20,683
but it's really
spooking Dan.
377
00:18:20,685 --> 00:18:23,786
Oh, yes, dear.
I considered
spooking him
378
00:18:23,788 --> 00:18:25,955
to try to make him have
another heart attack,
379
00:18:25,957 --> 00:18:28,191
but then I knew
I couldn't count on that.
380
00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:30,492
So you see,
now I'm very excited
381
00:18:30,494 --> 00:18:32,561
about burying him alive.
382
00:18:34,999 --> 00:18:37,799
Now you're spooking me.
383
00:18:37,801 --> 00:18:40,635
Roseanne.
Dan has to pay.
384
00:18:40,637 --> 00:18:44,005
Pay for locking me up.
I was there for years.
385
00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:45,373
I was there for years,
386
00:18:45,375 --> 00:18:47,309
and I was stifled
and suffocated,
387
00:18:47,311 --> 00:18:49,243
and I was kept
in the dark.
388
00:18:49,245 --> 00:18:52,814
And now, I've fallen
in love with the...
389
00:18:52,816 --> 00:18:55,950
bury-him-alive plan.
[cackling]
390
00:18:57,753 --> 00:19:00,254
Now you can't
be serious.
391
00:19:00,256 --> 00:19:02,157
I am serious.
392
00:19:02,159 --> 00:19:05,325
Anyway, he's taken away
my life. Now I'm gonna
take away his.
393
00:19:05,327 --> 00:19:08,962
Ah! Ha ha--
394
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:11,998
It's such a lovely night
for it, don't you think?
395
00:19:13,702 --> 00:19:14,968
Huh?
396
00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:17,471
Okay. Yeah, that's enough.
397
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:19,539
Okay, now gimme--
gimme the shov--
No!
398
00:19:19,541 --> 00:19:22,575
No! I need it so I can
whack him on the head
and stun him!
399
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:27,613
Oh. No, but then-then-then
I've give you the shovel.
400
00:19:27,615 --> 00:19:28,881
And then you can help me
401
00:19:28,883 --> 00:19:30,850
bury him alive,
if you'd like.
402
00:19:30,852 --> 00:19:34,354
Um, okay. That's enough talk
about burying Dan alive, okay?
403
00:19:34,356 --> 00:19:35,888
Just give me the shovel--
No! No! No!
404
00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:37,890
Come on. Give me
that damn shovel!
405
00:19:37,892 --> 00:19:38,891
Damn. Why are
you doing--
406
00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:40,592
What is that?
What is it?
407
00:19:40,594 --> 00:19:42,428
Oh, my God!
Ooh--
408
00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:45,231
Audrey! You set
fire to Dan's boat?
409
00:19:45,233 --> 00:19:49,067
Yes, I did! Because
it is Dan's boat!
Aah!
410
00:19:49,069 --> 00:19:52,870
I'm gonna destroy
all his things!
411
00:19:52,872 --> 00:19:55,140
And then I'm gonna
destroy him!
412
00:19:55,142 --> 00:19:56,808
I have to,
because if I don't,
413
00:19:56,810 --> 00:19:58,742
I know that he'll
just put me back
414
00:19:58,744 --> 00:20:01,013
in that hospital!
415
00:20:01,015 --> 00:20:04,715
Ow! Why would he do that?
You're well now!
416
00:20:04,717 --> 00:20:06,418
Aah!
417
00:20:06,420 --> 00:20:07,952
Audrey!
No! No!
418
00:20:07,954 --> 00:20:10,922
Audrey, what happened
to you out there
in California?
419
00:20:10,924 --> 00:20:13,057
Did you have one too many
420
00:20:13,059 --> 00:20:15,893
frozen mocha
frappuccinos?
421
00:20:15,895 --> 00:20:17,427
You can't have my sock!
422
00:20:17,429 --> 00:20:19,297
Give my sock back!
423
00:20:19,299 --> 00:20:21,999
It's-- It's-- It's--
424
00:20:26,471 --> 00:20:28,939
So cool of Grandma to build
us this barbeque pit.
425
00:20:30,942 --> 00:20:34,544
Yeah. I haven't had s'mores
since I was a Brownie.
426
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:37,213
This is fun.
Why don't you two
427
00:20:37,215 --> 00:20:38,248
go get
the graham crackers?
428
00:20:39,917 --> 00:20:41,716
How are you
doing there, Audrey?
429
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:44,386
Ah, just wonderful now that
they tripled my dosage.
430
00:20:44,388 --> 00:20:45,821
I feel so much better!
431
00:20:48,226 --> 00:20:51,327
That's great.
But, Mom, remember.
432
00:20:51,329 --> 00:20:52,895
You gotta keep at it.
433
00:20:52,897 --> 00:20:54,662
Oh, don't worry, dear.
434
00:20:54,664 --> 00:20:57,065
No more trying
to kill my Danny.
435
00:21:00,971 --> 00:21:02,938
Okay, who's ready?
Oh, I am.
436
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:04,573
I am, I am, I am.
437
00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:06,308
Uh-huh, uh-huh,
uh-huh, uh-huh.
438
00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:09,377
Oh! There. Mmm!
[chuckles]
439
00:21:09,379 --> 00:21:11,713
[moaning, chewing]
440
00:21:11,715 --> 00:21:13,380
Delicious! Ooh!
441
00:21:13,382 --> 00:21:14,583
This is so much better
442
00:21:14,585 --> 00:21:16,651
than trying to make them
with a hair dryer!
443
00:21:18,221 --> 00:21:21,255
I was just thinkin'
that same thing.
444
00:21:23,026 --> 00:21:24,558
Dan?
Mm-hmm?
445
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,128
Your mom's out of
her freakin' mind.
446
00:21:28,664 --> 00:21:30,130
Roseanne?
447
00:21:30,132 --> 00:21:33,500
People with glass mothers
shouldn't throw stones.
448
00:22:12,806 --> 00:22:15,740
Closed-Captioned By
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Burbank, CA
37536
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