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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:17,685 Oh, Peg, I'm so excited. 2 00:01:17,930 --> 00:01:21,605 It has been so long. So very, very long. 3 00:01:22,050 --> 00:01:23,608 But in just a few brief moments... 4 00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:27,525 ...a brand-new baseball season officially begins. 5 00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:32,528 Well, Al, as long as I live... 6 00:01:32,730 --> 00:01:35,802 ...I will never understand your fascination with baseball. 7 00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:39,201 Well, if you'd promise not to live too long I'd tell you. 8 00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:44,080 I mean, baseball is so boring. 9 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:47,128 How come they don't have a Harlem Globetrotters baseball team? 10 00:01:47,370 --> 00:01:50,248 They do. They're called the Mets. 11 00:01:52,570 --> 00:01:55,801 Hey, hey, hey. 12 00:02:02,170 --> 00:02:04,126 Do I smell trail mix? 13 00:02:04,370 --> 00:02:07,168 Fresh from under the sofa cushions. 14 00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,321 Grab a seat. 15 00:02:11,810 --> 00:02:13,323 Button. 16 00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:15,678 Oh, hey, before I forget... 17 00:02:15,890 --> 00:02:18,882 ...Marcie wanted to invite you to an April Fools' party tomorrow. 18 00:02:19,090 --> 00:02:21,729 Really? Man, I love April Fools' Day. 19 00:02:21,970 --> 00:02:25,929 Peg, remember Mrs. Quinn, our Music teacher? 20 00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:28,400 Yeah. One April Fools'... 21 00:02:28,650 --> 00:02:33,087 ...we faked a love note from her to the female Gym teacher. 22 00:02:34,610 --> 00:02:38,489 And the school board suspended her license. 23 00:02:39,050 --> 00:02:42,360 Just three days before her retirement. 24 00:02:42,850 --> 00:02:46,047 And her husband divorced her, left her penniless. 25 00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:52,207 Well, one April Fools' Day, I called the operator... 26 00:02:52,450 --> 00:02:56,841 ...said I couldn't get through to the zoo because their lion was busy. 27 00:02:57,570 --> 00:02:59,322 You get it? 28 00:03:00,570 --> 00:03:02,242 Dad. 29 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:10,724 Great news, Dad. 30 00:03:10,970 --> 00:03:13,006 Kelly and I wanna start up our own business. 31 00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:15,810 So you'll loan us $5000? 32 00:03:16,690 --> 00:03:18,885 Well, sure. 33 00:03:19,170 --> 00:03:23,641 Jody, Buffy, let me truck on over here to the wall safe. Nobody look. 34 00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:31,162 Well, strike me blind and call me Charlie. 35 00:03:31,410 --> 00:03:33,207 It's been took. 36 00:03:34,090 --> 00:03:35,318 Quick. After them. 37 00:03:35,570 --> 00:03:38,528 I'll wait over here by the ball game. 38 00:03:39,130 --> 00:03:40,882 I didn't even know we had a wall safe. 39 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,367 Too bad it's gone. Your brains were in it. 40 00:03:46,610 --> 00:03:50,205 Now, kids, if your father had been a successful shoe salesman-- 41 00:03:50,450 --> 00:03:53,522 Or husband, or lover or anything. 42 00:03:53,730 --> 00:03:56,608 --what business would it have been? - A photography studio... 43 00:03:56,810 --> 00:03:59,688 ...where lonely guys could get pictures taken with pretty girls. 44 00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:03,889 Hey, now, that's not a bad idea. How did you come up with that? 45 00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:07,520 Well, Saturday night and everyone was out partying and everything... 46 00:04:07,770 --> 00:04:11,365 ...so obviously Bud was upstairs in his room looking at underwear ads. 47 00:04:11,610 --> 00:04:12,838 - Look. - And I figured-- 48 00:04:13,090 --> 00:04:15,763 It's not important how she got the idea. 49 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:18,080 The point is we need $5000. 50 00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:21,762 Well, a good panhandler can pull in $500 a day. 51 00:04:22,010 --> 00:04:24,001 Five hundred dollars a day? 52 00:04:24,250 --> 00:04:26,286 We'll have Bud and Kelly's open in no time. 53 00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:30,205 Hey, wait a minute. It was my idea. We're gonna name it after me. 54 00:04:30,890 --> 00:04:32,846 There's already a place called "In-N-Out." 55 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,086 The game's starting. 56 00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:47,890 - Who are those guys? - They're just a bunch of VIPs... 57 00:04:48,090 --> 00:04:49,443 ...nobody cares about. 58 00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,169 That's the owner of the team. 59 00:04:51,410 --> 00:04:54,083 He's introducing a new guy who just bought 10 percent of it. 60 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:58,401 - That's him. - Huh, that's who? 61 00:04:58,650 --> 00:05:00,447 That's him, Walter Traugott. 62 00:05:00,690 --> 00:05:03,124 I gotta go. 63 00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,248 Wait a second, Jefferson. Come back here. What's wrong? 64 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,606 Was it something Peg did? 65 00:05:09,530 --> 00:05:13,000 Because if it was, she'll be in the basement until the All-Star break. 66 00:05:17,290 --> 00:05:19,758 Now who am I gonna watch the game with? 67 00:05:20,210 --> 00:05:23,122 - Another thing about this baseball-- - No. 68 00:05:23,370 --> 00:05:25,964 Now, why does that guy get to walk to the base? 69 00:05:26,210 --> 00:05:28,804 Because he got four balls. 70 00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:42,207 - Well-- - Don't even say it, Peg. 71 00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:46,647 If your mouth must open and close, do it on this. 72 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:49,410 If you paid as much attention to me as you do to this... 73 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:53,159 - ...I probably wouldn't mind so much. - I do pay attention to you, Peg. 74 00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:55,287 No, he was safe. 75 00:05:55,930 --> 00:05:58,444 Al, I think I broke my tooth. 76 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,368 He was safe. 77 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:05,687 Safe. Safe. Safe. 78 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:23,360 Please, Marcie, I am not in the mood for this tonight. 79 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:29,004 But, Jefferson, it has been almost eight hours. 80 00:06:30,930 --> 00:06:32,841 Look, there's something I have to tell you. 81 00:06:33,090 --> 00:06:36,878 Tonight I was watching the ball game with Al and who do I see on the TV? 82 00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,519 Walter Traugott, the new owner of the team. 83 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,403 Odd that the owner would be at the game. 84 00:06:44,370 --> 00:06:46,008 Mount me. 85 00:06:50,810 --> 00:06:53,278 Look, there's something else I have to tell you. 86 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:57,603 I haven't been completely honest with you about my past. 87 00:06:57,850 --> 00:07:03,322 You mean you're not permanently disabled and can work? 88 00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:08,520 No. Not that. 89 00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:12,843 Look, my real name isn't Jefferson D'Arcy. 90 00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:15,479 I used to work for the CIA. 91 00:07:15,730 --> 00:07:18,403 And a few years ago I was involved in a covert operation... 92 00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:21,801 ...that sent a lot of bad people to prison for a long time. 93 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:25,565 But there was this one guy that got away. 94 00:07:25,810 --> 00:07:28,847 The only person in the world who can blow my cover. 95 00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:30,967 Walter Traugott. 96 00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:36,689 Well, thank God. I thought you were gonna tell me you dated Cher. 97 00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:43,608 Well, I did, but-- 98 00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:48,528 It wasn't part of the job, it was just my turn. 99 00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:54,241 Now, I know you'll be upset. 100 00:07:54,490 --> 00:07:56,879 You'll probably go through the classic... 101 00:07:57,130 --> 00:08:00,566 ...denial, guilt, depression, anger, acceptance syndrome. 102 00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:02,289 That is preposterous. 103 00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:05,328 Admit it. It's all my fault. I should just kill myself. 104 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:08,004 Or kill you, you son of a bitch. 105 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,800 But I love you, whoever you are. 106 00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:12,278 What do we do now? 107 00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:15,998 I don't know. 108 00:08:16,250 --> 00:08:19,925 But if Traugott finds me, I'm as dead as network TV. 109 00:08:21,170 --> 00:08:24,401 Maybe it's just a coincidence that Traugott's in Chicago. 110 00:08:24,610 --> 00:08:26,566 I mean, Chicago is a big town. 111 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:30,041 It's not like he's gonna come through the window and get you. 112 00:08:36,290 --> 00:08:38,087 Jefferson. 113 00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:40,608 Gabby. 114 00:08:43,770 --> 00:08:46,443 Oh, my tooth. 115 00:08:46,690 --> 00:08:49,158 Jefferson, I can't stand to hear Peg in so much pain. 116 00:08:49,410 --> 00:08:51,207 - You have any Novocain? - No. 117 00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:55,125 Al, it's getting worse. 118 00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:57,600 How about some duct tape? 119 00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:04,927 - Hello? - Hello. 120 00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:07,604 Yes, Golden Sunset Retirement Home? 121 00:09:07,810 --> 00:09:10,040 Yes, I'm with the phone company. 122 00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:12,758 We've got a man working on your phone lines... 123 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:16,645 ...so would you not pick up the phone for the next five minutes or so... 124 00:09:16,850 --> 00:09:19,205 ...or he'll be electrocuted. 125 00:09:20,290 --> 00:09:22,121 - Okay? - Okay. 126 00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:24,122 Bye. 127 00:09:30,450 --> 00:09:32,441 Hello? 128 00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,569 Oh, I love April Fools' Day. 129 00:09:47,610 --> 00:09:49,168 Hello, Chicago Memorial Hospital? 130 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:51,970 Yes. Coronary Care unit, please. 131 00:09:52,570 --> 00:09:56,165 Room 410. 132 00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,604 I don't understand it. 133 00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,727 Well, we both look desperate and homeless. 134 00:10:00,970 --> 00:10:04,246 Yet they give you all the money and spit all over me. 135 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:05,998 Why is that? 136 00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,286 You don't get it, do you? 137 00:10:10,250 --> 00:10:11,569 Look. 138 00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:16,449 This is not a fun-house mirror. 139 00:10:19,010 --> 00:10:22,161 This is actually what you look like. 140 00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:25,920 Now, on the other hand, this is what I look like. 141 00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:41,362 And that is why we're opening Kelly and Bud's. 142 00:10:41,930 --> 00:10:44,000 Spare change? 143 00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:54,359 - Al Bundy? - Yes, officer? 144 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:58,119 I'm innocent. I was abused. 145 00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:01,927 No, Mr. Bundy. My name is Walter Traugott. 146 00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:04,282 Oh, the baseball-team owner. 147 00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:07,203 Yeah, I saw you on TV last night. What are you doing here? 148 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:11,887 I've got something to discuss with you of a rather personal nature. 149 00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,722 Well, don't worry about it, Troggy. 150 00:11:13,930 --> 00:11:16,603 Your secret's safe with me. I'll just go close the blinds... 151 00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:20,086 ...and you can try on anything you like here. 152 00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:28,040 For season tickets, I'll call a friend of mine over at Victoria's Secret... 153 00:11:28,290 --> 00:11:31,327 ...and you can coordinate. 154 00:11:36,370 --> 00:11:40,249 Thank you. No, Mr. Bundy, I came here to ask you a question. 155 00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:44,199 Specifically, do you know the man in this picture? 156 00:11:47,250 --> 00:11:49,525 Or this one. 157 00:11:53,490 --> 00:11:55,401 Or maybe this one. 158 00:11:59,850 --> 00:12:01,124 I'll cut to the chase. 159 00:12:01,330 --> 00:12:04,322 This man is one of the most dangerous people in the world. 160 00:12:04,570 --> 00:12:06,879 Joey Bishop? 161 00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:09,564 I always suspected that. 162 00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:12,085 - That one. - Him? 163 00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:16,448 - Why, that looks like-- - Like who, Mr. Bundy? 164 00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:19,079 Hey, now, If you're a cop, I don't talk to the law... 165 00:12:19,290 --> 00:12:22,487 ...I don't listen to the law, I don't watch L.A. Law. 166 00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:28,883 Let me level with you. The man I'm asking you about... 167 00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:32,287 ...is a spy, Mr. Bundy. A dangerous spy. 168 00:12:32,530 --> 00:12:35,647 And we want him. This is my card. 169 00:12:35,890 --> 00:12:38,723 I'll be in Chicago for two more days. 170 00:12:38,970 --> 00:12:42,929 Not that you'd put financial gain above your country's national security... 171 00:12:43,170 --> 00:12:47,004 ...but there is a reward for information leading to the arrest of this man. 172 00:12:47,530 --> 00:12:50,727 Oh, rewards mean nothing to me. 173 00:12:51,330 --> 00:12:54,766 - How much is it, by the way? - Fifty thousand dollars. 174 00:12:57,690 --> 00:12:59,726 I'll be talking to you. 175 00:13:05,290 --> 00:13:08,123 All right, Peg. I made the appointment with the dentist. 176 00:13:08,370 --> 00:13:11,680 This better still hurt when we get there because dentists aren't cheap. 177 00:13:13,210 --> 00:13:14,689 Hey, guys, what's up? 178 00:13:15,090 --> 00:13:16,808 Oh, nothing. 179 00:13:18,050 --> 00:13:21,520 Or as they say in the Kremlin, "nyet." 180 00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,638 - Al. - Peg, please just go wait in the car. 181 00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,846 - I'll be right there. - Promise me, Al? 182 00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:30,569 Yes, I promise, Peg. 183 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:35,201 - You swear to me, Al? - Damn your hide, yes, I promise. 184 00:13:35,490 --> 00:13:37,560 Wait in the freaking car. 185 00:13:38,650 --> 00:13:42,529 Jeez, the things that women make you say to show them you love them. 186 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:45,247 - What do you want, buddy? - Oh, nothing. 187 00:13:45,490 --> 00:13:48,687 It's just that I didn't get a chance to talk to you much yesterday... 188 00:13:48,930 --> 00:13:53,003 ...and I was just, you know, wondering what was up, you know? 189 00:13:53,770 --> 00:13:56,000 - Nothing. - Me neither. 190 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,888 So... 191 00:13:58,410 --> 00:14:00,366 ...ever been a spy? 192 00:14:03,370 --> 00:14:05,042 I beg your pardon? 193 00:14:05,290 --> 00:14:07,246 Okay. Okay. 194 00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:10,126 Let's get right to the point. 195 00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:13,362 Who won the World Series in '76? 196 00:14:14,130 --> 00:14:15,927 The Reds. 197 00:14:16,530 --> 00:14:20,808 - What? - Interesting choice-ski, comrade. 198 00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:25,845 Look, shouldn't you be taking Peggy to the dentist? 199 00:14:26,090 --> 00:14:28,729 Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you? 200 00:14:29,090 --> 00:14:31,160 - Do you know what I'm gonna do? - What? 201 00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:34,846 I wanna play Name the American Presidents. 202 00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:39,489 - You gotta be kidding. - Afraid not. 203 00:14:39,730 --> 00:14:41,561 You go first. 204 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,799 Okay. George Washington. 205 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,928 - Eisenhower. - John Adams. 206 00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:50,400 Eisenhower. 207 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:54,598 Thomas Jefferson. 208 00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:57,767 Eisenhower. 209 00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:01,926 James K. Polk. 210 00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:06,129 Dwight D. Eisenhower. 211 00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,641 Al, we have run through the presidents 15 times. 212 00:15:10,890 --> 00:15:14,246 Just one more question. 213 00:15:17,330 --> 00:15:19,366 Big 'Uns magazine... 214 00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:23,562 ...Hooters of the Month. 215 00:15:25,610 --> 00:15:27,885 November '88. 216 00:15:28,130 --> 00:15:30,644 Kimberly Nicholson. Born 1969. 217 00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:34,246 Turn ons: fast cars, walks on the beach and young Rod Stewart. 218 00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:39,120 Turn offs: Men who smoke, war and old Rod Stewart. 219 00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:41,198 Right? 220 00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:44,489 What's that? I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. 221 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,328 All right, let's say you're an American. 222 00:15:53,570 --> 00:15:55,447 Of course I'm an American, Al. 223 00:15:55,690 --> 00:15:57,965 Look, what is going on here? 224 00:15:58,850 --> 00:16:02,889 Walter Traugott came into the store today, told me you were a spy. 225 00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:06,520 Said he'd give me a $50,000 reward if I turned you in. 226 00:16:07,690 --> 00:16:09,169 Did you? 227 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:14,683 Do I look like I'm in Rio without the wife and kids? 228 00:16:16,530 --> 00:16:18,361 Although there is a plane leaving at 6. 229 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,009 All right. 230 00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:24,689 - All right. Look, Al, I was a spy. - Thank you. 231 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:33,327 But for us. Traugott's the bad guy. 232 00:16:33,570 --> 00:16:36,767 Besides, Al, you have known me for three years. 233 00:16:37,010 --> 00:16:38,409 You know I'm an American. 234 00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:42,848 Well, so am I, that's why it's so hard to turn down free money. 235 00:16:44,810 --> 00:16:48,246 I've got another reason for you not to turn me in, Al. 236 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:50,208 Because you're a Bundy... 237 00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:54,921 ...and if you put a D where the N is, you're a buddy. 238 00:16:57,650 --> 00:17:00,687 If you put the N where the D is, I'm a bunny. What's your point? 239 00:17:06,170 --> 00:17:07,603 Look, I'm not gonna turn you in. 240 00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:13,521 There are three things a Bundy will never be: rich, a snitch or regular. 241 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,759 So relax. Your secret's safe with me. 242 00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:19,444 - Thanks, Al. - One last question. 243 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:26,887 Who was the vice-president under President Eisenhower? 244 00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:29,242 I have no idea. 245 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:32,086 You are an American. 246 00:17:39,130 --> 00:17:40,688 - Al. - Oh, yeah, the dentist. 247 00:17:40,930 --> 00:17:43,967 - All right, let's go. - I've already been, you kumquat. 248 00:17:44,210 --> 00:17:46,087 Here's the bill. 249 00:17:46,330 --> 00:17:49,049 - How am I supposed to pay this? - Don't look at me. 250 00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:51,520 If only it were that easy. 251 00:17:55,050 --> 00:17:57,644 Dad, got some bad news. 252 00:17:57,890 --> 00:18:00,279 The traditional Bundy greeting. 253 00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:03,525 The police confiscated our beggings. 254 00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:07,080 And we're being sued for impersonating the homeless. 255 00:18:07,730 --> 00:18:09,163 You know what the worst part is? 256 00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:12,720 That it's too late to adopt the Menendez boys? 257 00:18:17,370 --> 00:18:21,204 No. The photo studio would have been a success. 258 00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:24,248 Panhandling. This is what we get for listening to Mr. D'Arcy. 259 00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:27,209 Yeah. Boy, I wish we had something on him. 260 00:18:32,530 --> 00:18:34,680 Fifty thousand dollars. 261 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:37,160 Fifty thousand dollars. 262 00:18:37,410 --> 00:18:39,480 Fifty thousand dollars. 263 00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,158 Hi, Al. 264 00:18:52,410 --> 00:18:56,085 Hey, I got some great stuff for the April Fools' party tonight. 265 00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:58,599 Check it out, fake vomit. 266 00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:07,806 And fake doggie doo-doo. 267 00:19:09,530 --> 00:19:13,000 Humans. They really know how to party. 268 00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:16,967 I've been thinking about it and I can't go to the party with you. 269 00:19:17,850 --> 00:19:19,078 Why not? 270 00:19:19,330 --> 00:19:22,447 Oh, it's the lame April Fools' gags, huh? 271 00:19:22,690 --> 00:19:25,602 Well, that and I could get killed hanging out with you. 272 00:19:25,850 --> 00:19:28,887 See, I don't wanna go that way. I wanna go the way all Bundys go. 273 00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:30,927 I wanna hang myself in my own basement... 274 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,286 ...by jumping off my workbench. 275 00:19:34,330 --> 00:19:36,719 Not that I have it planned out or anything. 276 00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:38,722 But nobody knows who I am, Al. 277 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,040 Unless you told. 278 00:19:41,450 --> 00:19:43,486 Now, why would I do that? Who would I tell? 279 00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:47,564 Paging Mr. Traugott. Paging Mr. Walter Traugott. 280 00:19:50,010 --> 00:19:53,719 Now, that page could have come from anybody. 281 00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:57,849 Mr. Al Bundy paging Walter Traugott. 282 00:19:59,370 --> 00:20:03,363 What? Jefferson, now, I swear I didn't have nothing to do with that. 283 00:20:04,930 --> 00:20:06,841 I see now what I have to do. 284 00:20:07,090 --> 00:20:09,763 But I didn't have nothing to do with that. 285 00:20:15,570 --> 00:20:17,322 You would think after a few years... 286 00:20:17,570 --> 00:20:20,801 ...you could count on a friend to take him at his word. 287 00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:26,804 But I guess you just never know who you can really trust, hey, buddy? 288 00:20:27,490 --> 00:20:30,766 That's bunny. 289 00:20:33,210 --> 00:20:36,247 With two N's. 290 00:20:40,570 --> 00:20:43,209 Don't grovel, Al. Look, if you have to say anything... 291 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:47,400 ...I want you to take a deep breath... 292 00:20:47,650 --> 00:20:48,878 ...and tell me... 293 00:20:51,050 --> 00:20:54,326 ...who's the best damn April Fooler in the whole world? 294 00:21:08,730 --> 00:21:10,686 - April Fool? - That's right. 295 00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:13,160 April Fool. 296 00:21:13,770 --> 00:21:15,647 What about that guy that came to my store? 297 00:21:16,570 --> 00:21:20,006 Walter Traugott? He's an old friend of the family from D.C. 298 00:21:20,250 --> 00:21:22,605 I sent him into your store with that story, Al. 299 00:21:22,850 --> 00:21:26,559 And you bought it hook, line, and sinker. 300 00:21:27,010 --> 00:21:30,366 Oh, yeah? Well, you better not use your phone for the next five minutes... 301 00:21:30,610 --> 00:21:33,488 ...because someone's gonna be working on your lines. 302 00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:39,681 Nice try. Come on, let's go to the party. 303 00:21:39,930 --> 00:21:42,160 But you mean none of that spy stuff was true? 304 00:21:42,410 --> 00:21:44,685 Oh, come on, Al. 305 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:47,046 If I was really involved espionage... 306 00:21:47,250 --> 00:21:50,447 ...couldn't I have just made one phone call and had Traugott taken out? 307 00:21:50,690 --> 00:21:53,079 - I guess. - Well, then, what do you think? 308 00:21:55,810 --> 00:21:58,370 And that's a ground out to third. 309 00:22:01,130 --> 00:22:02,882 Oh, my God. Ladies and gentlemen... 310 00:22:03,130 --> 00:22:06,679 ...Walter Traugott fell to the ground from an upper deck luxury box. 311 00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:24,480 And now some other scores around the league. 312 00:22:24,690 --> 00:22:27,648 In the fifth, Milwaukee is leading the White Sox 6 to 1. 313 00:22:27,850 --> 00:22:31,240 And in Los Angeles, the Dodgers still suck. 24523

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