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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:31,020 --> 00:00:34,760 Subtitles by -MoonGuardianCat- 2 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,890 So it's 6 PM in the night time... 3 00:01:59,890 --> 00:02:01,600 ... which is when I wake up. 4 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:04,730 This is always really scary part for me. 5 00:02:09,930 --> 00:02:12,260 Yes! Night time. 6 00:02:12,810 --> 00:02:16,330 So, now I'm going to wake up my flat mates. 7 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,720 I really love living in a flatting situation. 8 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,740 Wake up! 9 00:02:22,150 --> 00:02:24,240 Wake up everyone! 10 00:02:24,620 --> 00:02:27,040 I like to hang out with other vampires. 11 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,090 I like the company. 12 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,840 Awaken! 13 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,140 A wakey, wakey! 14 00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:38,140 I just really like having a good time with my friends. 15 00:02:38,140 --> 00:02:39,710 Deacon... 16 00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:40,800 Hi! 17 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:41,740 Hey! 18 00:02:41,740 --> 00:02:43,740 Deacon... 19 00:02:44,770 --> 00:02:46,430 How was your night, last night? 20 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,990 I transformed into a dog and had sex. 21 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,330 Cool! 22 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:55,780 We're gonna have a little flat-meeting in the kitchen in about 15 minutes, okay? 23 00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:57,960 - Okay. - Okay. 24 00:02:58,150 --> 00:03:00,220 - Should I close this? - Yes. 25 00:03:01,340 --> 00:03:02,790 Vladislav?! 26 00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:07,000 Sorry! Sorry! 27 00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:11,770 What? 28 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:14,040 - Hey! - What time is it? 29 00:03:14,650 --> 00:03:17,740 Umm, we're going to have a flat-meeting in about 10 minutes. 30 00:03:17,860 --> 00:03:18,610 20. 31 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:19,990 Okay... is it... 32 00:03:34,430 --> 00:03:35,780 So we're... 33 00:03:35,900 --> 00:03:37,490 ...in Petyr's room. 34 00:03:37,670 --> 00:03:39,610 I'm just going to wake him up. 35 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:58,990 Petyr? 36 00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:01,620 Petyr?! 37 00:04:04,820 --> 00:04:06,490 Petyr, wake up. 38 00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:13,310 Hey, listen. We're just having a flat-meeting upstairs in about 10 minutes. 39 00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:15,980 You don't have to come but I thought I'd 40 00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:18,740 extend an invitation to you just in case. 41 00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:19,850 Umm.... 42 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:23,880 There's a lot of stuff on the floor down here, Petyr, and... 43 00:04:24,010 --> 00:04:26,700 ... like this seems, I don't... AH! 44 00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,700 It's a spinal column, yuck! 45 00:04:29,020 --> 00:04:30,830 And I was thinking, maybe... 46 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:33,330 ... I just should bring a broom down here for you 47 00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:36,720 if you wanted to sweep up some of the skeletons. 48 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:38,010 I don't know. 49 00:04:38,050 --> 00:04:39,050 You know... 50 00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:41,220 Okay. 51 00:04:43,180 --> 00:04:45,210 I got you this chicken. 52 00:04:49,230 --> 00:04:50,510 Is Petyr coming? 53 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,370 - Should we be worried? - Petyr's... 54 00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:53,730 ... 8000 years old. 55 00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:55,980 We're not going to have Petyr at the meeting. 56 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,160 Okay, so... 57 00:04:57,460 --> 00:05:01,760 Wanted to have a quick chat about flat responsibilities because 58 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:05,220 uh...guys I think that we're not all pulling our weight here. 59 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:08,320 We're not just pointing the finger at you, Deacon. 60 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,620 You're a cool guy but you're not pulling your weight in the flat. 61 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,520 Well, I'm glad to hear that I'm cool. 62 00:05:15,220 --> 00:05:17,870 - No, that's not the point though... - Yeah, no, I know... 63 00:05:17,870 --> 00:05:19,980 It's not a flat meeting about how cool you are. 64 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:21,960 - I do my flat chores. - No, you don't! 65 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:24,160 - Yes, I do - No, that's why we're having the flat-meeting. 66 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:27,940 The point is Deacon that you have not done the dishes for 5 years. 67 00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:28,900 Vladislav is right. 68 00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:33,590 It's unacceptable to have so many bloody dishes all over the bench like that... 69 00:05:33,590 --> 00:05:36,000 I'm so embarrassed when people come over here. 70 00:05:36,010 --> 00:05:36,780 Why does it matter?! 71 00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:38,280 You bring them over to kill them! 72 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,670 Vampires don't do dishes. 73 00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:44,510 Deacon's like the rebellious young vampire. 74 00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:48,580 He's always doing crazy things. Saying crazy things. 75 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,010 He's just like the young, bad boy of the group. 76 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:54,150 Okay, so... 77 00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,600 One day I was... 78 00:05:57,510 --> 00:05:59,460 ... selling my wears... 79 00:05:59,770 --> 00:06:02,380 And I walked passed this old creepy castle. 80 00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:04,360 and I look at it and think... 81 00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,150 ... 'very old and creepy.' 82 00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,150 And then this creature... 83 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,560 ... flies at me! 84 00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:14,250 It dragged me back to this dark dungeon. 85 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,410 And bit into my neck. 86 00:06:16,930 --> 00:06:19,210 And just at the point of death... 87 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:20,530 ... this creature... 88 00:06:20,610 --> 00:06:23,770 ... forced me to suck its foul blood. 89 00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,210 And then... 90 00:06:25,340 --> 00:06:27,720 ... it opened it's wings, like this. 91 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,030 And hovered above me. 92 00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:31,560 Screeching. 93 00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:36,440 'Now you are vampire.' 94 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:39,000 And it was Petyr. 95 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,020 And we're still friends today. 96 00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:46,800 Vlad, you are great. You put out the recycling. 97 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,330 Which was really cool. 98 00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:49,090 And! 99 00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:52,760 The other day, I dragged mans body down the hallway, 100 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,520 and noticed that there was no dust. 101 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,750 Like, I kind of... I kind of swept the hallway. 102 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:01,570 Vladislav, is just like... 103 00:07:01,580 --> 00:07:03,540 ... this older vampire who 104 00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,540 grew up in the medieval times. 105 00:07:05,660 --> 00:07:08,600 And you know, to be living this long 106 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,070 and to have seen the things that he's seen 107 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:14,260 and still like, kind of have it together, 108 00:07:15,190 --> 00:07:16,630 I mean, hat's off to him. 109 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,540 Bloody hell! 110 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,210 Sorry! 111 00:07:20,210 --> 00:07:22,210 He's a really great guy. 112 00:07:22,210 --> 00:07:24,210 A bit a of a pervert. 113 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:27,740 He has some pretty old ideas about things. 114 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,970 We should get some slaves! 115 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,650 When I first became a vampire... 116 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:35,760 ... I was quite tyrannical. 117 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,910 I was known for torturing a lot of people. 118 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,290 This is my torture chamber. 119 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,960 I don't come in here, often anymore. 120 00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:53,050 I tempted to torture when I was in a bad place. 121 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:56,430 My thing was, I would poke someone 122 00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,260 with implements. 123 00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:01,290 I was known as 'Vladislav the poker'. 124 00:08:03,180 --> 00:08:05,300 It's been like this the whole time... 125 00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:08,080 - Okay, so... - Viago is a little... 126 00:08:08,470 --> 00:08:09,500 ... pedantic. 127 00:08:09,510 --> 00:08:11,760 The washing and the rubbish, I did that. 128 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:15,730 Deacon, on dishes and it's still hasn't moved in 5 years. 129 00:08:15,740 --> 00:08:18,680 He was an 18th century dandy. 130 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,130 So, he can be very fussy. 131 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,710 He nags and nags... 132 00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:28,330 The lunch the other day and it was blood all over my nice antique couch. 133 00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:30,130 Which one, the red one? 134 00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:32,000 Well, it's red now, yah. 135 00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:34,890 If you're going to eat a victim on my nice clean couch 136 00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:37,020 put down some newspaper on the floor 137 00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,920 and some towels. It's not hard to do. 138 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,620 We're vampires! We don't put down towels. 139 00:08:42,620 --> 00:08:44,620 Some vampires do. 140 00:08:44,620 --> 00:08:46,700 Well, not serious ones! 141 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,900 When you get 4 vampires in a flat 142 00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:52,400 obviously there's going to be a lot of tension. 143 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:55,950 There's tension in any, any flatting situation. 144 00:08:55,960 --> 00:09:00,790 It's settled then. We all do our jobs, starting with a certain Deacon... 145 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,640 I will do my dishes! 146 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,020 This is bullshit. 147 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,300 Well, I became a vampire when I was 16. 148 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,280 That is why I always look 16. 149 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,920 In those days, of course, life was tough for a 16 year old. 150 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,140 Vampires have had a pretty bad rec. 151 00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:32,820 We're not these mopey old creatures who live in castles. 152 00:10:33,010 --> 00:10:36,060 And while some, most of us are, a lot are... bats. 153 00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:39,310 There are also, those of us, who like to flat together in 154 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,280 really small countries like New Zealand. 155 00:10:51,530 --> 00:10:54,240 I was a Nazi vampire. 156 00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:03,820 After the war, which the Nazi's lost... 157 00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,480 I don't know, if you know that the Nazi's lost... 158 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:08,580 ... that war. 159 00:11:08,740 --> 00:11:10,800 If you were a Nazi, after the war... 160 00:11:11,950 --> 00:11:14,040 ...and if you were a vampire... 161 00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:19,260 ... and if you were a Nazi vampire... 162 00:11:19,550 --> 00:11:20,990 No way. 163 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,610 I was out of there. 164 00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:09,830 Yah, I came to this country for love. 165 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:13,300 Uh, there was a girl. Human girl. 166 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:14,840 And... 167 00:12:14,890 --> 00:12:15,980 ... I... 168 00:12:16,020 --> 00:12:18,420 ... thought she was fantastic. She was... 169 00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:20,290 ... absolutely amazing. 170 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:21,610 I was smitten. 171 00:12:21,770 --> 00:12:25,430 Her family emigrated to New Zealand. 172 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,500 And, I thought, 173 00:12:27,610 --> 00:12:29,220 'you know what, to hell with it. 174 00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:32,750 I'm gonna go. I'm going to chase her and tell her how I feel.' 175 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,750 I told my servant Phillip, 176 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:36,910 'Send me to New Zealand.' 177 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:37,740 He... 178 00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:40,480 ... put the wrong postage on my coffin. 179 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,730 So the whole journey took about 18 months. 180 00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:47,630 And when I got here, she had... 181 00:12:47,750 --> 00:12:49,810 ... found someone else. 182 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,180 She had fallen in love. 183 00:12:53,930 --> 00:12:55,250 And... 184 00:12:55,540 --> 00:12:57,310 She was married. 185 00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,610 She gave me this before she left. 186 00:13:12,630 --> 00:13:14,050 There she is. 187 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:18,120 That's me, I put myself in there too. 188 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,210 She told me in was pure silver. 189 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:24,530 Unfortunately... 190 00:13:24,680 --> 00:13:27,240 ... we vampires can not wear silver. 191 00:13:48,530 --> 00:13:49,800 Yeah... 192 00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,000 It's about as long as I can wear that. 193 00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:23,050 Tonight, we are going out into Wellington center. 194 00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:25,070 It is important that we look good. 195 00:14:25,130 --> 00:14:26,510 Yeah, it's really good. Yeah. 196 00:14:26,510 --> 00:14:31,610 One of the unfortunate things about not having a reflection is that you... 197 00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:33,940 ... don't know exactly what you look like. 198 00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:36,760 Look! 199 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,870 A ghost cup! 200 00:14:39,230 --> 00:14:42,050 Floating all by itself! 201 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:44,550 We can give each other feedback and 202 00:14:44,580 --> 00:14:47,300 help each other out until we're looking great. 203 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,830 Yes, some of our clothes are from victims. 204 00:14:49,910 --> 00:14:51,930 We might bite someone and then... 205 00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:54,740 ... you think, 'ooh, those are some nice pants!'. 206 00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,040 - Do work these? - NO! 207 00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:56,780 Change it! 208 00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:59,740 When you are a vampire, you become very sexy. 209 00:15:03,310 --> 00:15:06,590 We are trying to attract victims to us. 210 00:15:06,590 --> 00:15:08,110 Not sure about the waist coat. 211 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,510 I go for a look which I call Dead But Delicious. 212 00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:13,610 We are the bait. 213 00:15:13,610 --> 00:15:15,610 But we're also the trap. 214 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,450 Hello, ladies. 215 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:42,600 And my love, we are ready to go into town and party! 216 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,600 Vampire... vampire style. 217 00:15:53,940 --> 00:15:57,160 When we go into town, we must try to blend in. 218 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,590 We are walking the streets. 219 00:15:58,590 --> 00:16:01,230 Coming into town. Um, it's really cool because 220 00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:02,890 just for one brief moment 221 00:16:02,890 --> 00:16:03,480 I feel... 222 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:04,580 Homos! 223 00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:14,320 The trouble with being a vampire is you 224 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:16,640 have to be invited in, to go in. 225 00:16:16,660 --> 00:16:19,340 We would like to come into the bar, please. 226 00:16:19,340 --> 00:16:21,340 Invite us into the bar, please. 227 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:23,340 Keep walking. 228 00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:25,070 You invite us in! 229 00:16:25,070 --> 00:16:27,360 If the humans find out what we were... 230 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,680 ... they would destroy us. 231 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:34,150 There are between 60 and 70 vampires in the greater Wellington region. 232 00:16:34,150 --> 00:16:36,040 - Obvious vampire. - Joline! 233 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:36,720 Hello! 234 00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:38,260 How embarrassing. 235 00:16:38,260 --> 00:16:41,080 He's a guy I used to work with when I was human. 236 00:16:41,830 --> 00:16:43,700 - Is he gone? - Yeah, he's gone. 237 00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,270 I've been draining him all night. 238 00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:47,270 Been a very thirsty girl. 239 00:16:47,270 --> 00:16:49,760 Being bitten as a little boy or a little girl 240 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,540 you always going to look the same age. 241 00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:52,650 What are you doing tonight? 242 00:16:52,650 --> 00:16:54,200 Going to kill some perverts? 243 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,360 - Yeah, we're meeting a pedophile. - Cool. 244 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,000 Okay, let's just go please. 245 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,920 - Have a good night, guys! - Yeah, you have a good night! 246 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:04,400 The Big Kumara is vampire owned and operated, so we could always get in. 247 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:08,030 It's the hottest night spot for vampires in Wellington. 248 00:17:08,100 --> 00:17:10,820 - Come on in, guys, come on in. - Thank you. 249 00:17:19,470 --> 00:17:22,030 Perhaps you could bring some people to the house. 250 00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,410 - Sure. - Perhaps some virgins? 251 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,890 Virgins? Yep, okay. 252 00:17:25,930 --> 00:17:28,710 Any kind of preference in terms of gender or? 253 00:17:28,710 --> 00:17:30,180 Maybe some ladies? 254 00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:31,400 Yep. Ladies. 255 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,360 Perhaps a guy? 256 00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:34,860 One of each? 257 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,360 One of each should be cool. 258 00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:39,250 My relationship with Deacon is... 259 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,690 ... well, I'm his familiar. He's my Master. 260 00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,160 He tells me what to do, I do it. 261 00:17:47,270 --> 00:17:50,330 We have the kind of master-servant relationship which works nicely. 262 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:51,050 Actually. 263 00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:51,840 - Hello! - Hello. 264 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,110 Oh, it's a little bit of blood. 265 00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:55,940 Um, my husband, he's a, he's a hemophiliac. 266 00:17:56,260 --> 00:17:58,060 You know, someone who bleeds a lot. 267 00:17:58,060 --> 00:17:58,630 Yeah. 268 00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,440 Any kind of age range? 269 00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:03,090 - Young. - But not, not kids? 270 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,400 Not kids. 271 00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:06,080 18 to 30? 272 00:18:06,540 --> 00:18:08,630 Definitely younger than yourself. 273 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,630 Okay, so 18 to 30. 274 00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:11,770 So it's a dinner party? 275 00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:12,910 - I'll be there? - Yes! 276 00:18:12,910 --> 00:18:14,270 - Dinner party. - The guys we'll be there? 277 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:14,740 Yes. 278 00:18:14,740 --> 00:18:16,020 - We will all be there? - Yes, we will dress up. 279 00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:18,640 - Okay, great. - And then... eat them. 280 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,940 - Should be fun. - Okay, great. 281 00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:23,110 I was just wondering if we could talk about the... 282 00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:25,570 You don't know of a night dentist? 283 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,250 Because I have this thing here. 284 00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:30,200 I was just wondering if we could talk about the deal. 285 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,530 - Hm? - The deal. 286 00:18:31,970 --> 00:18:34,820 - The dishes? - No, the... 287 00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:39,440 The deal is that he is going to give me eternal life. 288 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,500 Um, which is... 289 00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:44,010 ... very exciting. 290 00:18:44,070 --> 00:18:46,100 Well, I just feel like I kind of reached my potential and 291 00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:48,480 I wouldn't want to kind of, get any older before, I kind of... 292 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,060 I just feel like I'm the best version of myself that I can be. 293 00:18:51,110 --> 00:18:53,100 It's just that it's been 4 and a half years and I just 294 00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:55,100 I just want... doing your plans and... 295 00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,380 Doing your dry-cleaning. Now I'm doing your dishes. 296 00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:58,880 Yeah... the dentist? 297 00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:01,940 And the dentist and it's just taking an awful long time, so I was just wondering... 298 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:03,940 - Be gone! - Okay. 299 00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:06,500 - I see you later! - Okay. 300 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:21,300 One of the most unfortunate things about being a vampire is that... 301 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:24,940 ... you have to drink human blood. 302 00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,940 I like to make a real evening of it. 303 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,550 Play some music. 304 00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:32,140 Maybe give them some nice wine. 305 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:36,330 It's their last moment alive so why not make it a nice experience. 306 00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:39,920 So... 307 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,100 Tell we what you do, what do you... 308 00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:43,680 I was thinking about going back to Uni, actually. 309 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,210 Oh, you are? Lets put this over 310 00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:46,400 there. 311 00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:50,420 University, yeah? 312 00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:53,160 Yeah, but after that, I'm gonna travel. 313 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,130 Yeah... 314 00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:57,130 I really wanted to go over seas for ages, so.. 315 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,840 Saving out and I'm gonna go to Spain and 316 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:02,180 Italy and London and... 317 00:20:02,420 --> 00:20:03,440 Yeah. 318 00:20:05,670 --> 00:20:07,910 Okay. Excuse me. 319 00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:09,910 Just put that there. 320 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,850 There we go. 321 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:26,130 Shit! 322 00:20:33,670 --> 00:20:36,020 Well, that didn't go so great. 323 00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:39,280 Um, I hit the main artery. 324 00:20:40,290 --> 00:20:43,760 So, yeah, it's a real mess in there, um... 325 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,670 On the upside, I think she had a really good time. 326 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:07,740 So, it's quite late and uh... 327 00:21:07,740 --> 00:21:11,500 I've managed to find a woman up, watching television. 328 00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:14,900 And, uh, she seems like she'd be a good victim. 329 00:21:16,190 --> 00:21:19,090 I'm just going to use hypnosis on her... 330 00:21:21,420 --> 00:21:23,280 See me... 331 00:21:24,860 --> 00:21:27,140 See me... 332 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,950 She can't, she can't see me from that angle. 333 00:21:32,180 --> 00:21:34,860 Vladislav used to be extremely powerful. 334 00:21:34,940 --> 00:21:37,320 He could hypnotize crowds of people. 335 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,280 Great orgies. 20-30 women. 336 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:42,560 He could turn into all sorts of animals. 337 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:44,740 But now he never get the faces right. 338 00:21:44,740 --> 00:21:47,480 He would kill anybody. Men, women. 339 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,820 Children. Burning... everything. 340 00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:51,960 It was totally great. 341 00:21:52,070 --> 00:21:55,600 But he suffered a humiliating defeat... 342 00:21:55,740 --> 00:21:58,320 ... at the hands of his arch nemesis... 343 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,320 ... The Beast. 344 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,360 And, he's never been the same. 345 00:22:10,550 --> 00:22:12,040 See me... 346 00:22:13,890 --> 00:22:16,000 See me... 347 00:22:17,410 --> 00:22:19,610 See me... 348 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:23,560 See me... 349 00:22:25,150 --> 00:22:27,480 Would you like to come inside? 350 00:22:50,350 --> 00:22:51,940 Ah! 351 00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:54,220 - Jackie, welcome! Come in. - Hello. 352 00:22:55,150 --> 00:22:57,550 This is Nick. Ex-ex boyfriend. 353 00:22:57,650 --> 00:22:59,130 - And Josefine. - Nice house. 354 00:22:59,130 --> 00:23:01,940 And this is Deacon, my over seas friend from Europe. 355 00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:04,730 Deacon and his friends need... 356 00:23:04,820 --> 00:23:05,790 ... victims. 357 00:23:05,790 --> 00:23:08,640 Hi! Please come in, welcome. 358 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:10,640 There can't be people that... 359 00:23:11,610 --> 00:23:13,110 ... I actually 360 00:23:13,140 --> 00:23:16,630 envious them or like because of course they will become victims. 361 00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:18,710 Hi! Josefine? 362 00:23:18,870 --> 00:23:21,120 No, I sat next to you in English. Remember? 363 00:23:21,620 --> 00:23:24,040 Um, you used to call me the Jacksersist? 364 00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:26,310 No you did, no you did. Yeah. 365 00:23:26,390 --> 00:23:28,040 No, you started that. 366 00:23:28,530 --> 00:23:31,880 You were the one who started calling me that and then it kind of caught on. 367 00:23:32,380 --> 00:23:33,060 Yeah. 368 00:23:33,210 --> 00:23:35,800 Okay, bye then. Bye. 369 00:23:35,890 --> 00:23:36,800 She's in. 370 00:23:41,630 --> 00:23:42,820 You like that, Nick? 371 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:44,840 Yep, it's nice. 372 00:23:46,700 --> 00:23:49,740 I will go and prepare dinner. 373 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,990 Nick, are you a virgin at all? 374 00:23:55,240 --> 00:23:56,260 Um, what? 375 00:23:56,460 --> 00:23:59,400 Doesn't seem like... are, are you a virgin? 376 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,640 - Yes. - Um, no. 377 00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:04,010 You were a virgin when we were seeing each other? 378 00:24:04,210 --> 00:24:05,240 Yeah, I was 12. 379 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:06,880 You said he was a virgin. 380 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:09,540 I think we drink virgin blood because... 381 00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:11,040 ... it sounds cool. 382 00:24:11,110 --> 00:24:12,720 I think of it like this... 383 00:24:12,970 --> 00:24:15,280 If you're going to eat a sandwich.. 384 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,400 You will just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it. 385 00:24:19,580 --> 00:24:22,050 Let's concentrate on Josefine than. 386 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:23,670 Are you a virgin? 387 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:24,980 I'm not, no. 388 00:24:25,060 --> 00:24:26,600 Okay, I'm really sorry. 389 00:24:26,650 --> 00:24:28,120 Because I totally... 390 00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,580 Him there is a Virgin. 391 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,630 She looks like a virgin. She talks like a virgin, I mean... 392 00:24:33,290 --> 00:24:35,290 Who would have sex with her, I wouldn't. 393 00:24:35,780 --> 00:24:36,960 I would. 394 00:24:37,940 --> 00:24:38,840 Oh. 395 00:24:40,780 --> 00:24:42,020 Okay, good. 396 00:24:42,020 --> 00:24:44,870 - It's 2 dinners... yum. - Nick. 397 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:47,020 Do you like bisghetti? 398 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,190 Uh... yep. I usually like it. 399 00:24:49,450 --> 00:24:51,580 But, be better if it was warm? 400 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,300 So, this is my favorite trick. 401 00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:56,900 We present our guest with a plate of bisghetti. 402 00:24:57,460 --> 00:25:00,880 And then, I would say, ' Why don't you eat some bisghetti?' 403 00:25:01,370 --> 00:25:02,640 Please, Nick. 404 00:25:02,770 --> 00:25:04,170 Eat some bisghetti. 405 00:25:06,090 --> 00:25:09,100 I didn't realize you enjoy eating worms. 406 00:25:09,260 --> 00:25:09,970 Nick. 407 00:25:10,020 --> 00:25:12,580 - No... - They are worms. 408 00:25:13,300 --> 00:25:15,400 There's worms moving around on my plate. 409 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:15,410 Worm like but not actually... There's worms moving around on my plate. 410 00:25:15,410 --> 00:25:17,370 Worm like but not actually... 411 00:25:17,450 --> 00:25:20,240 We stole that idea from The Lost Boys. 412 00:25:20,390 --> 00:25:22,160 But I put a nice twist on it. 413 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:23,150 Nick. 414 00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:26,540 How does it feel to have a snake for a penis? 415 00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:29,110 Jackie? 416 00:25:29,140 --> 00:25:31,000 My penis has disappeared. It's a cobra snake. 417 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,910 Nobody is gonna mistake your penis for a cobra, Nick, okay? 418 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,300 - Believe me. - What have you put in my bisghetti? 419 00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:38,070 No, it is just a normal penis. 420 00:25:38,260 --> 00:25:40,370 I'm out. I'm out. 421 00:25:40,580 --> 00:25:42,240 Josefine? 422 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:44,240 Do you like bisghetti? 423 00:25:46,110 --> 00:25:47,680 Look, these freaks... 424 00:25:48,060 --> 00:25:51,410 ... spike my bisghetti, make my cock turn into a snake is not cool. 425 00:25:51,500 --> 00:25:53,210 Not cool. 426 00:25:59,210 --> 00:26:00,640 You don't think this is weird? 427 00:26:02,210 --> 00:26:03,560 For fuck sakes... 428 00:26:09,790 --> 00:26:11,160 Jackie?! 429 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,180 Jackie! 430 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,600 - Sorry Nick. - What are you doing?! 431 00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:17,760 Jackie! 432 00:26:23,370 --> 00:26:24,480 Shit! 433 00:26:52,060 --> 00:26:53,180 Fuck off. 434 00:26:57,780 --> 00:26:58,980 Where am I? 435 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:22,450 Fuck. 436 00:27:25,380 --> 00:27:26,240 Fuck! 437 00:27:36,850 --> 00:27:37,760 Freaks! 438 00:27:47,590 --> 00:27:49,250 Ah, no... 439 00:27:49,820 --> 00:27:51,180 Petyr got him. 440 00:27:51,210 --> 00:27:52,810 Poor guy... 441 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,910 Who let Petyr out? 442 00:28:54,010 --> 00:28:55,370 Hey, guys! 443 00:28:56,630 --> 00:28:58,170 Hey, what are you guys doing? 444 00:28:58,910 --> 00:29:00,320 What are you doing, Nick? 445 00:29:00,470 --> 00:29:01,960 Come into the house. 446 00:29:03,220 --> 00:29:04,880 - Hi, my name is Nick. - Hey, guys. 447 00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,620 I've been a vampire for 2 months. 448 00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:11,990 Probably, I reckon best thing about being a vampire is flying. 449 00:29:12,340 --> 00:29:14,560 Like I've always wanted to, I think everyone has always wanted to fly. 450 00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:16,300 And now I can do it. 451 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:22,770 Oh... 452 00:29:26,770 --> 00:29:29,230 Nick, why don't you use the front door? 453 00:29:30,350 --> 00:29:31,750 Why would I? I'm flying. 454 00:29:32,390 --> 00:29:33,620 Petyr bit me. 455 00:29:33,770 --> 00:29:34,920 Sucked all my blood out. 456 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:36,710 I woke up in his basement and... 457 00:29:36,710 --> 00:29:38,150 ... he offered me some blood. 458 00:29:38,350 --> 00:29:39,760 I just thought it was something... 459 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,760 ... some German thing that these guys do. 460 00:29:41,910 --> 00:29:44,970 This transition, into becoming a vampire was pretty hard. 461 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:49,600 I look like shit to start off with, like, I had a massive gash on my neck. 462 00:29:49,860 --> 00:29:51,540 Like you could see the inside of my neck. 463 00:29:51,660 --> 00:29:53,290 I had blood all over my top. 464 00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,160 And then I came home and I was sweating. 465 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:57,880 I was either really hot or really cold. 466 00:29:58,130 --> 00:30:00,040 It was like a hang-over times 10, I reckon. 467 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,440 It was really bad. 468 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,620 It was quite similar to having the flu. 469 00:30:09,620 --> 00:30:12,030 Except, the only difference would probably be... 470 00:30:12,300 --> 00:30:14,250 ... that my eyes bleed heaps. 471 00:30:15,910 --> 00:30:17,560 Are you guys not cold? 472 00:30:18,060 --> 00:30:21,470 No, I can't really explain it. It's like, yeah, really hot and cold and like... 473 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,730 ... bloody eyes and flying and stuff. 474 00:30:24,060 --> 00:30:26,540 The neighbors can see you flying around the house. 475 00:30:26,540 --> 00:30:28,620 You want to draw attention to his house, hm? 476 00:30:28,620 --> 00:30:30,880 You got a whole... documentary crew following you around. 477 00:30:30,940 --> 00:30:33,040 I am doing an erotic dance for my friends. 478 00:30:33,090 --> 00:30:35,170 And you ruined it. I was in the zone. 479 00:30:35,170 --> 00:30:36,560 My friends are loving it. 480 00:30:36,730 --> 00:30:38,360 I love it. I saw the end of it. It looked great. 481 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,320 I don't, I don't know, if I'm, if I'm accepted yet. 482 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,570 But... I don't know. I think it's getting there. 483 00:30:43,900 --> 00:30:45,910 I don't know the oldest stuff, but they're quite naive... 484 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,390 ... when it comes to the real world. 485 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:49,080 So... 486 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:50,820 I don't know, it would be cool to just... 487 00:30:50,940 --> 00:30:52,530 Hang out with them. They could teach me some stuff. 488 00:30:52,530 --> 00:30:54,660 But I could probably teach them a few things. 489 00:31:02,010 --> 00:31:04,130 At the start it was like, 'Oh no, like I'm..' 490 00:31:04,630 --> 00:31:05,600 '... I'm dead.' 491 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,860 It kind of affected my friendship with normal people, my family and stuff. 492 00:31:10,050 --> 00:31:12,530 But, of the way I see it, I've got a whole new family. 493 00:31:12,700 --> 00:31:16,550 They accept me for who I am. They don't even seem to know who they are. 494 00:31:17,230 --> 00:31:18,340 Even though... 495 00:31:18,460 --> 00:31:19,720 ... one of them killed me. 496 00:31:20,020 --> 00:31:21,600 Where should we go tonight? 497 00:31:21,670 --> 00:31:22,820 Let's go to the big Kumara. 498 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,580 Why don't we go to Boogie Wonderland? We never get in to Boogie Wonderland. 499 00:31:25,670 --> 00:31:28,040 My friend Richard's the bouncer. He can get us in. 500 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,040 - What? Really? - I'll invite us in. 501 00:31:30,410 --> 00:31:32,710 - Stu is game. - He will come with us too? 502 00:31:32,870 --> 00:31:35,000 Ah, this is my friend Stu. 503 00:31:35,260 --> 00:31:37,460 - Hey. - He works in computers and stuff. 504 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,480 Originally he went out with my sister. 505 00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:40,980 And then they broke up. 506 00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:42,660 I didn't want her to do it, but... 507 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:43,860 It's got nothing to do with me. 508 00:31:43,930 --> 00:31:46,260 And um... he can't hear me. 509 00:31:48,330 --> 00:31:49,690 Yeah, so basically... 510 00:31:50,230 --> 00:31:51,880 Stu doesn't know that I'm a vampire. 511 00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,180 And he doesn't know that my friends are vampires. 512 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:55,570 He just thinks that I'm just... 513 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,520 ... with some powerful friends. 514 00:31:58,380 --> 00:32:02,220 I bought a room in the house and he thought I bought a meal. 515 00:32:02,860 --> 00:32:03,690 Just like... 516 00:32:03,770 --> 00:32:05,480 ... it really, really sucks... 517 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:07,300 ... that I can't eat him. 518 00:32:07,530 --> 00:32:09,810 I just want to like... 519 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,580 Look at it. He's the reddest guy I know. 520 00:32:13,900 --> 00:32:15,580 Right, you can hear me. 521 00:32:16,340 --> 00:32:19,320 - Like computer based and stuff, heh, mainly? - Yeah, yeah. 522 00:32:19,460 --> 00:32:22,250 - Databases. - Yeah, like computers mainly. 523 00:32:23,530 --> 00:32:26,920 Let's have a vote for Boogie Wonderland or The Big Kumara. 524 00:32:27,300 --> 00:32:28,690 Big Kumara! 525 00:32:30,980 --> 00:32:31,980 Wait. 526 00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:34,350 Come on Stu, hurry up. 527 00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,540 I don't think Nick should have been turned into a vampire. 528 00:32:39,740 --> 00:32:41,320 He's such a dick. 529 00:32:43,170 --> 00:32:44,560 Looking great man! 530 00:32:44,670 --> 00:32:45,780 You are most welcome! 531 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,380 We're in Boogie Wonderland! 532 00:32:56,380 --> 00:33:02,370 Here we are at Boogie Wonderland and it is so much fun. 533 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:05,660 This is amazing! 534 00:33:05,660 --> 00:33:07,520 I'm so happy to be here. 535 00:33:08,010 --> 00:33:10,240 This is pretty cheesy. 536 00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,440 Also, did you see the jacket he wore? 537 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,030 He's wearing the same jacket as me. 538 00:33:15,030 --> 00:33:17,430 - It's not exactly the same. - It's pretty close. 539 00:33:24,450 --> 00:33:26,400 I'm just loving being a vampire. 540 00:33:32,230 --> 00:33:34,240 Over there, is the big Fat Lady's Arms. 541 00:33:34,380 --> 00:33:37,260 Ah, on Wednesday's there be, like fear factor competition. 542 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:40,620 You can win like t-shirts and hats and small prizes. 543 00:33:40,620 --> 00:33:42,620 I can smell werewolves. 544 00:33:42,820 --> 00:33:46,800 Okay, we're just about to walk passed some werewolves so some shit might go down! 545 00:33:46,860 --> 00:33:49,220 Look out guys. Don't catch flees. 546 00:33:49,350 --> 00:33:50,670 - What's that, mate? - Deacon. 547 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,440 - Sorry what? - Keep going, keep walking. 548 00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:54,500 - Keep walking! - We heard that, mate. We've got sensitive hearing. 549 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:55,590 - Have you? - Yeah. 550 00:33:55,590 --> 00:33:57,290 What are you filming? It's a music video, is it? 551 00:33:57,290 --> 00:33:59,080 We don't want any trouble. 552 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,880 - Why did you start it? - Well, I do. Have I got your heckles up? 553 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:02,400 Huh? 554 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,960 Why don't you girls smell your own crutches, huh? 555 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,250 - Come on. It's not worth it. - What are you talking about? 556 00:34:06,250 --> 00:34:09,250 We don't smell our own crutches. We smell each others crutches. 557 00:34:09,250 --> 00:34:11,250 And it's a... form of... greeting. 558 00:34:11,310 --> 00:34:12,970 Your own camera, mate, don't, don't... 559 00:34:12,970 --> 00:34:13,380 What? 560 00:34:13,430 --> 00:34:15,110 It's okay, cause I know this guy. 561 00:34:15,110 --> 00:34:16,320 It's count Fagula. 562 00:34:17,820 --> 00:34:19,430 Hey, hey, hey! Don't swear. 563 00:34:19,430 --> 00:34:21,330 - Sorry... they... they... - We're werewolves. 564 00:34:21,330 --> 00:34:22,340 - Not swearwolves. - What are we? 565 00:34:22,630 --> 00:34:24,260 We're werewolves, not swearwolves. 566 00:34:24,540 --> 00:34:27,820 - No, listen, that's offensive... - That's a really offensive word to call people. 567 00:34:27,850 --> 00:34:30,150 Well, at least you're talking about a bundle of sticks. 568 00:34:30,230 --> 00:34:31,820 Please, this bundle of sticks... 569 00:34:31,850 --> 00:34:32,900 Werewolves? 570 00:34:32,900 --> 00:34:35,490 - No, no, no! - Don't get it! Nathan it's not real. 571 00:34:35,490 --> 00:34:37,350 He's just gonna take of his gloves. 572 00:34:37,350 --> 00:34:39,580 Ah, shit, man! Why the fuck did you do that for? 573 00:34:39,580 --> 00:34:42,800 Hey! Don't swear. We're gonna lose it. We're gonna lose it. 574 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,620 - Whoa, whoa, whoa! - Hey. 575 00:34:43,620 --> 00:34:44,790 Calm down. Calm down! 576 00:34:44,790 --> 00:34:46,190 - Get the fuck my glasses! - Dion! Dion! 577 00:34:50,250 --> 00:34:51,090 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 578 00:34:52,130 --> 00:34:53,740 Do the breathing! Do the breathing. 579 00:34:53,740 --> 00:34:55,860 Do the breathing. Count to 10, mate. Count to 10. 580 00:34:55,860 --> 00:34:57,200 - Come on. - Hold it. 581 00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,200 Count to 10, human again. 582 00:34:59,290 --> 00:35:00,880 - 10, human again. - It's alright. It's not full moon. 583 00:35:00,950 --> 00:35:01,950 Thanks a lot guys. 584 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,290 - Enjoy your night, yah? - You should be ashamed of yourselves, man. 585 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:05,780 Great, we didn't want this to happen. 586 00:35:13,100 --> 00:35:14,010 - Come on guys. - Hey! 587 00:35:14,010 --> 00:35:16,010 Say it! Don't spray it, bitch! 588 00:35:16,130 --> 00:35:16,950 Declan! 589 00:35:17,170 --> 00:35:19,710 - Why are you swearing all the time?! - Well, he ride with me... 590 00:35:19,710 --> 00:35:21,710 - Were they actually werewolves? - Yeah. 591 00:35:21,710 --> 00:35:23,710 Are you okay, Stu? 592 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,920 I just don't really know how to... 593 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,050 ... approach this, cause I never done it before. 594 00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,640 Um, and he is a good friend. 595 00:35:32,850 --> 00:35:34,140 And I don't wanna... 596 00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:36,550 ... I don't want to break that friendship but.. 597 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:40,160 ... then again, what do you do when someone tells you, that they're a vampire? 598 00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:43,170 I'm expecting him to be angry. 599 00:35:43,170 --> 00:35:46,830 He might be scared and expecting lot of things to, to bubble to the surface. 600 00:35:47,580 --> 00:35:49,170 You probably noticed, it has been... 601 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:52,850 ... I've been going through a few changes lately. 602 00:35:53,970 --> 00:35:54,770 - Yeah. - Yeah? 603 00:35:54,810 --> 00:35:55,470 Yeah. 604 00:35:55,790 --> 00:35:56,860 Like... 605 00:35:57,150 --> 00:35:59,030 I don't show up for lunch anymore. 606 00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:01,420 - Yeah. - Have... 607 00:36:01,580 --> 00:36:04,140 ... changed the story of all of Tina's games. 608 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,620 The night time, Tina's games. 609 00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:06,470 Right... 610 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:08,480 And how you went from beating me 611 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,480 every time and how I 612 00:36:10,480 --> 00:36:12,480 I've won the last 3? 613 00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:14,620 Yeah. 614 00:36:14,940 --> 00:36:15,730 So... 615 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:17,430 The reason I brought you here... 616 00:36:18,340 --> 00:36:20,160 ... is to tell you that... 617 00:36:21,210 --> 00:36:22,710 ... I'm a vampire. 618 00:36:26,390 --> 00:36:27,740 Stu took it pretty well. 619 00:36:27,740 --> 00:36:29,740 He's definitely my best mate. 620 00:36:29,870 --> 00:36:31,160 And I'm not gonna eat him. 621 00:36:31,220 --> 00:36:32,960 But if they ever offer you bisghetti... 622 00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:35,180 Um.... you shouldn't eat it. 623 00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,680 They offered me biscotti. 624 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:41,320 Vampire mates don't eat human mates. 625 00:36:41,490 --> 00:36:43,430 And no matter how much I want to eat him... 626 00:36:43,490 --> 00:36:45,320 ... I will never eat him cause he's my mate. 627 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:47,340 - Right, Stu? - Yah. 628 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:48,710 Yeah. 629 00:36:50,860 --> 00:36:53,480 Stu is great. 630 00:36:54,590 --> 00:36:56,030 We really like him. 631 00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,660 At first I wanted to kill him. 632 00:36:58,740 --> 00:37:02,180 But now I'm glad I've spent the time to get to know him. 633 00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,220 Yeah, of course he looks delicious with his big red cheeks. 634 00:37:06,220 --> 00:37:10,380 But we've all got an agreement that we're not going to eat Stu. 635 00:37:10,460 --> 00:37:11,940 - Right? - Right. 636 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,660 The guys upstairs, they... They're loving him. 637 00:37:14,840 --> 00:37:18,360 That's ... it started off with, 'Who's this human you're bringing into the house?' 638 00:37:18,590 --> 00:37:20,380 But it took them literally 2 minutes and 639 00:37:20,380 --> 00:37:22,380 they like him more than they like me, I reckon. 640 00:37:22,910 --> 00:37:25,270 I'm knitting a scarf for Stu. 641 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:28,060 Try it again. Use your legs. 642 00:37:29,490 --> 00:37:30,750 Wow. 643 00:37:30,750 --> 00:37:34,240 - Step back... - Punching high. 644 00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:36,020 - Yep. - Hi. 645 00:37:36,020 --> 00:37:36,680 Yep. 646 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,160 I'm just, what I'm trying to say is... 647 00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:40,110 ... cause I know that you... 648 00:37:40,340 --> 00:37:41,610 ... you turned me into a vampire. 649 00:37:41,990 --> 00:37:43,870 Maybe don't do that to him. 650 00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:45,830 He's a... vegetarian. 651 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,880 Last thing he'd want to is eat... 652 00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:50,640 ... a life-being or eat blood or eat meat... 653 00:37:51,230 --> 00:37:53,380 - I am controlling this. - Get it, get it! 654 00:37:53,450 --> 00:37:57,690 Quite amazing to see how far technology can go forward 655 00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,740 if you're not paying attention. 656 00:38:01,500 --> 00:38:03,160 One message received. 657 00:38:07,410 --> 00:38:10,160 There is a crucifix behind you. 658 00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:12,890 So, done on it, or like, half way down and focus it. 659 00:38:12,890 --> 00:38:13,850 Maybe smile. 660 00:38:18,740 --> 00:38:21,380 - Anything you want to find, you... - Yeah. 661 00:38:21,470 --> 00:38:23,780 - You can type your name here. - I've lost... 662 00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:28,250 ... a really nice silk scarf in about 1912. 663 00:38:28,250 --> 00:38:29,380 Yes, now Google it. 664 00:38:29,420 --> 00:38:34,010 Stu is the first human friend that I've had for long time. 665 00:38:34,040 --> 00:38:37,080 With humans there's a tendency to die. 666 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:39,400 Yeah. 667 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,100 We can look at her photos. 668 00:38:41,100 --> 00:38:43,260 - Ah, oh yes. - Or you can poke her. 669 00:38:45,940 --> 00:38:46,830 Yes. 670 00:38:47,230 --> 00:38:49,660 Can we see a movie with sunrise? 671 00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:52,930 - What? Shit! - Whoo... 672 00:38:53,020 --> 00:38:54,490 Nice... 673 00:38:54,650 --> 00:38:57,920 If you push images, than we can see pictures of virgins. 674 00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,920 - Ah, yes. Yes. - Yah, yah... 675 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:06,280 I don't think she's a virgin if she's doing that. 676 00:39:19,720 --> 00:39:21,000 There he is, yeah. 677 00:39:21,180 --> 00:39:23,430 This is my old servant, Phillip. 678 00:39:23,540 --> 00:39:25,780 - So, we're gonna call him. - Yeah. 679 00:39:25,850 --> 00:39:27,200 And... 680 00:39:27,290 --> 00:39:29,070 ...screen... 681 00:39:33,230 --> 00:39:36,090 My God, that's him, that's him, that's him, that's Phillip, that's Phillip. 682 00:39:36,090 --> 00:39:38,090 - He looks old. 683 00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:16,600 Yeah, kind of like youth romance, but like more, more layers. 684 00:41:16,620 --> 00:41:18,960 Maybe Twilight, have you seen it? 685 00:41:19,410 --> 00:41:22,640 Okay, I'm the main guy in Twilight. You now the main guy? 686 00:41:22,740 --> 00:41:23,720 Twilight? 687 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:24,980 That's me. 688 00:41:25,000 --> 00:41:26,350 Cameras following me around. 689 00:41:26,380 --> 00:41:27,550 They could have chosen anyone. 690 00:41:27,550 --> 00:41:29,810 How many people have you told you are a vampire? 691 00:41:29,940 --> 00:41:32,000 - Not many. - I heard that girl... 692 00:41:32,020 --> 00:41:34,950 ... talking about that you said you were a vampire. 693 00:41:34,950 --> 00:41:35,960 Yeah, I told her. 694 00:41:36,030 --> 00:41:37,480 - Who else? - Who did you tell? 695 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:39,060 Uh, I told her hot friend. 696 00:41:39,100 --> 00:41:42,080 You can't tell everyone that you're a vampire. 697 00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:42,960 Who's that guy? 698 00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:44,960 I don't know but I told him. 699 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,450 You can't tell everyone. 700 00:41:52,390 --> 00:41:54,410 Yeah, I've got a bit of an eye condition. 701 00:41:54,750 --> 00:41:55,800 What's wrong with him? 702 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,120 Um, vampire eyes. Can't go into the sun. 703 00:41:58,820 --> 00:42:00,840 Oh, my God, is that your fangs? 704 00:42:01,090 --> 00:42:02,220 For real? 705 00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:03,470 For real, real. 706 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,000 For real, real. 707 00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:06,450 I'm a vampire. 708 00:42:06,540 --> 00:42:07,680 - What? - Yeah. 709 00:42:07,930 --> 00:42:10,790 - I'm a vampire hunter. - No, you're not. 710 00:42:10,860 --> 00:42:12,670 - No? - You fucking piece of shit. 711 00:42:12,830 --> 00:42:14,140 I'll Skype you! 712 00:42:14,220 --> 00:42:15,100 I float. 713 00:42:15,100 --> 00:42:16,640 - I transform into stuff. - Same. 714 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,090 - No you can't. - Yeah. 715 00:42:19,090 --> 00:42:20,790 I'll show you. 716 00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:23,310 Show me. Show me some of your vampire stuff. 717 00:42:23,310 --> 00:42:24,430 What have I got? Um... 718 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:32,260 Don't lie about transforming into shit. 719 00:42:38,970 --> 00:42:41,440 - Twilight! - Shut up, Nick! 720 00:42:42,190 --> 00:42:43,610 You're not Twilight. 721 00:42:43,610 --> 00:42:45,730 - What's your problem? - You are my problem. 722 00:42:45,910 --> 00:42:47,940 Telling the world that we are vampires. 723 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,700 And I'll tell the whole world that you're an asshole now. 724 00:42:49,700 --> 00:42:50,800 Shut up! 725 00:42:51,930 --> 00:42:52,760 - Shut up! - Guys? 726 00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:53,870 - You shut up! - No, you shut up! 727 00:42:53,870 --> 00:42:55,350 - No, you shut up. - You shut up. 728 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,560 I'm Dracula, man! 729 00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:57,880 You're not Dracula! - I'm Dracula! 730 00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,420 You don't even know who Dracula is! 731 00:42:59,420 --> 00:43:00,360 You idiot! 732 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,010 - Oh, bat fight! - Bat fight! Oh, yah, yah, yah! 733 00:43:14,500 --> 00:43:16,070 Ah, Deacon! 734 00:43:17,360 --> 00:43:19,460 That wasn't fair, man! 735 00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:20,920 My fucking jacket, man! 736 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:22,920 I don't care about your stupid jacket. 737 00:43:24,540 --> 00:43:26,790 - Deacon! - You okay, man? 738 00:43:43,310 --> 00:43:45,330 - Hey, Stu? - Mm-hm? 739 00:43:45,420 --> 00:43:48,280 How's your worms? 740 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:49,790 Alright. 741 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:51,750 You're eating worms. 742 00:43:56,140 --> 00:43:59,280 Can you do that shit when you turn them into worms? 743 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:00,270 No. 744 00:44:00,340 --> 00:44:01,510 Doesn't work on chips. 745 00:44:01,510 --> 00:44:04,370 Only works on things that already look like worms. 746 00:44:04,550 --> 00:44:07,960 - Maybe noodles. Do you want some noodles? - He knows now. 747 00:44:09,450 --> 00:44:11,380 Oh no. I wouldn't eat that. 748 00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:15,210 Why? 749 00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:27,310 Are you okay Nick? 750 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,160 Alright? 751 00:44:36,340 --> 00:44:37,730 He ate fried chip. 752 00:44:37,940 --> 00:44:39,820 I can't eat salads now, great. 753 00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:41,320 I can't sunbath. 754 00:44:41,350 --> 00:44:42,940 I can't watch daytime TV. 755 00:44:43,090 --> 00:44:45,010 I can if I could, or I guess I could. 756 00:44:45,430 --> 00:44:47,180 More, more then ever just the chips. 757 00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:49,100 My favorite food. I can't eat chips. 758 00:44:50,330 --> 00:44:51,860 I don't... it's just... 759 00:44:51,860 --> 00:44:52,820 I hate... 760 00:44:52,980 --> 00:44:54,990 I said it. I'm over being a vampire. It's shit. 761 00:44:55,620 --> 00:44:57,280 So, don't, don't believe the hype. 762 00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:15,320 Jackie?! 763 00:45:18,240 --> 00:45:19,560 Jackie, can I come in please? 764 00:45:19,620 --> 00:45:21,760 - Okay, off to bed, guys! - Hello, children! 765 00:45:21,850 --> 00:45:24,440 - Don't look at the men. - You want me to kill this? 766 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,440 Don't look at the men! 767 00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:28,910 I was going to bite you tonight. 768 00:45:29,260 --> 00:45:29,800 Really? 769 00:45:29,840 --> 00:45:33,000 But now I can't because there's this Nick being a vampire. 770 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,190 Sorry, sorry, I thought you killed him 2 months ago. 771 00:45:35,190 --> 00:45:37,190 No, I didn't...no... he's a vampire. 772 00:45:37,210 --> 00:45:38,100 What do you mean? 773 00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,020 He jumped in front of your place. 774 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,530 All I'm saying is that, um... 775 00:45:44,270 --> 00:45:45,960 You know if I had a penis, I would have been... 776 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,660 I would have been bitten years ago. 777 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,510 I might have to penalize you. 778 00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:53,740 Perhaps another couple of years. Maybe 10 years. 779 00:45:53,820 --> 00:45:54,440 Hm? 780 00:45:54,660 --> 00:45:57,150 Like one big circle, just biting each others dicks. 781 00:45:57,300 --> 00:45:59,820 You know, they don't even wear shirts, they wear blouses. It's, it's just... 782 00:45:59,820 --> 00:46:02,540 ... a big homo-erotic dick biting club. 783 00:46:02,540 --> 00:46:05,880 And I'm stuck here, ironing their fucking frills. 784 00:46:06,060 --> 00:46:07,640 Also clean the bathroom, please. 785 00:46:07,740 --> 00:46:10,000 It's blood everywhere. It is gruesome. 786 00:46:10,700 --> 00:46:12,780 Okay, see you tomorrow. 787 00:46:17,540 --> 00:46:18,840 Off to bed, please. 788 00:46:31,820 --> 00:46:33,620 Katherine. 789 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,560 She was so charming and nice. 790 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:38,560 She was everything I wanted. 791 00:46:38,690 --> 00:46:40,480 Unfortunately... 792 00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:42,480 ... yeah, she was married. 793 00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,000 Sure, I wanted to kill the guy. 794 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,320 I thought about, chopping his head off. 795 00:46:47,470 --> 00:46:50,900 Draining him of every drop of blood that he had. 796 00:46:50,990 --> 00:46:52,260 Who wouldn't? 797 00:46:53,380 --> 00:46:56,830 But then, I also saw how happy she was. 798 00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:00,400 And that made me kind of happy. 799 00:47:01,180 --> 00:47:03,950 And I didn't want to ruin it for her, so... 800 00:47:04,020 --> 00:47:07,150 I did the honorable thing and I just... 801 00:47:07,310 --> 00:47:08,730 ... stepped back. 802 00:47:08,980 --> 00:47:11,000 And let her live her life. 803 00:47:36,430 --> 00:47:37,590 Petyr! 804 00:47:38,330 --> 00:47:39,200 Petyr! 805 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:40,160 Where is it? 806 00:47:40,540 --> 00:47:41,280 Petyr! 807 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:42,360 Petyr! 808 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:43,380 Petyr! 809 00:47:45,710 --> 00:47:46,950 Get water! 810 00:47:47,710 --> 00:47:50,160 - Get out of the sunlight! - Get water! Get water! 811 00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,490 Get water! Petyr, get away from the sunlight! 812 00:47:52,490 --> 00:47:54,490 Get in the shadows, Petyr! 813 00:47:54,500 --> 00:47:56,030 Get out of the sunlight! 814 00:47:57,130 --> 00:47:58,880 Get out of my way! 815 00:47:59,680 --> 00:48:01,000 I'm going in! 816 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:02,070 I'm coming Petyr! 817 00:48:02,070 --> 00:48:04,110 - Deacon, no, it's sunlight! - I'm coming for you! 818 00:48:04,110 --> 00:48:06,220 It's sunlight out there! 819 00:48:06,240 --> 00:48:09,470 It's sunlight! 820 00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,630 I was too late. 821 00:48:25,470 --> 00:48:27,270 Turn that thing off. 822 00:48:28,200 --> 00:48:31,300 Our friend had just been killed in a fatal sunlight accident. 823 00:48:46,360 --> 00:48:48,270 So this is what I think happened. 824 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:50,530 The vampire hunter... 825 00:48:50,710 --> 00:48:52,620 ... broke into the window here. 826 00:48:53,620 --> 00:48:57,090 Has impacted the table. Breaking the table leg. 827 00:48:57,670 --> 00:48:59,400 Then he has come this way. 828 00:49:00,030 --> 00:49:01,970 Towards the tomb. 829 00:49:03,180 --> 00:49:03,970 Crucifix! 830 00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:05,810 Cover the crucifix! 831 00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:09,750 And then... 832 00:49:10,180 --> 00:49:12,470 ... Petyr has burst from the tomb. 833 00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,640 Pushed the tomb lid on to the vampire hunter. 834 00:49:15,930 --> 00:49:18,690 And then the sunlight has come through here. 835 00:49:18,770 --> 00:49:20,500 And burned Petyr alive. 836 00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:23,460 Think this is just a table leg, which is... 837 00:49:23,820 --> 00:49:24,680 ... sanded down. 838 00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:26,680 - Do you think he hand sanded that, or? - Yes. 839 00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:28,210 Image that, stuck in your... 840 00:49:29,380 --> 00:49:31,820 It's quite shocking down here, Nick. 841 00:49:31,870 --> 00:49:34,900 Look, here's our sweet Petyr. 842 00:49:34,900 --> 00:49:36,900 - Fucking hell. - Burnt to a sizzle. 843 00:49:37,160 --> 00:49:39,920 - I can't figure out this. - This is the vampire hunter. 844 00:49:39,920 --> 00:49:40,450 Is this Franco? 845 00:49:40,450 --> 00:49:41,990 - Uh, who's this guy? - Look at this... 846 00:49:41,990 --> 00:49:44,130 ... bloody head, back to front. 847 00:49:44,130 --> 00:49:46,130 Twist it the other way, the other way! 848 00:49:46,300 --> 00:49:48,880 Let's see who this guy is. 849 00:49:49,900 --> 00:49:52,720 - Hm, typical macho type. - Yuck! 850 00:49:52,720 --> 00:49:53,660 It is. 851 00:49:53,780 --> 00:49:55,220 Oh, shit! 852 00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:57,210 I know that guy. 853 00:49:57,250 --> 00:49:59,140 - Actually. - You know him? 854 00:49:59,140 --> 00:50:00,620 - Yeah. - What? 855 00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:02,360 I saw him the other night in town. 856 00:50:03,060 --> 00:50:04,330 Told him I was a vampire. 857 00:50:04,330 --> 00:50:04,810 What?! 858 00:50:04,810 --> 00:50:07,050 I thought he was joking. He said he was a vampire hunter. 859 00:50:07,100 --> 00:50:09,380 You let a vampire hunter into our house? 860 00:50:09,380 --> 00:50:11,380 - I just gave him my e-mail. - Nick! 861 00:50:12,800 --> 00:50:14,190 Take out your tongue. 862 00:50:14,210 --> 00:50:15,760 And shove it down your ass. 863 00:50:18,150 --> 00:50:19,490 Fucking hell! 864 00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:35,990 You and your big mouth! 865 00:50:36,200 --> 00:50:37,600 It was a mistake! 866 00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:41,180 Get up and stand on this ceiling like a man. 867 00:50:48,140 --> 00:50:49,470 We can talk it out, yeah, man? 868 00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:50,350 We can talk it out, mate! 869 00:50:50,350 --> 00:50:52,640 - I'll kill you! - I'm already dead! 870 00:50:53,050 --> 00:50:54,770 Stu, stay back! 871 00:50:58,410 --> 00:51:00,140 Someone's at the door. 872 00:51:00,570 --> 00:51:03,450 Go, go. 873 00:51:09,720 --> 00:51:11,000 Oh, shit. 874 00:51:12,940 --> 00:51:15,000 - Good evening, sir. - Hello, police. 875 00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:17,520 Hi, I'm constable O'Leary. This is constable Minogue. 876 00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:21,140 We're just responding to a report of a possible forced entry and also... 877 00:51:21,290 --> 00:51:23,060 ... a rather large amount of shrieking. 878 00:51:23,060 --> 00:51:25,560 Just, um, wondering maybe we could come in and just have a wee look around? 879 00:51:25,980 --> 00:51:27,060 Okay. 880 00:51:27,340 --> 00:51:29,560 What's with the fellow? What's with the camera? 881 00:51:29,770 --> 00:51:31,990 Yeah, we're obviously just here cause there was a phone call 882 00:51:31,990 --> 00:51:34,420 from the, a member of the public, um, about a bit of disturbance. 883 00:51:34,620 --> 00:51:36,620 Um, some loud noises. 884 00:51:36,750 --> 00:51:38,470 - Possibly a forced entry, wasn't there? - Um... 885 00:51:38,780 --> 00:51:40,720 And, also, maybe a bit of smoke coming out, so... 886 00:51:40,820 --> 00:51:43,260 We're just checking over the scene. Making sure every thing's uh... 887 00:51:43,320 --> 00:51:45,340 You know, above board sort of speaking, uh... 888 00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:47,210 Making sure no ones in danger, that kind of thing. 889 00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:50,060 We might go up and have a wee look up there, if that's alright with you? 890 00:51:50,580 --> 00:51:52,720 - Come on mate, you lead the way. - Just a little tour. Yeah. 891 00:51:54,100 --> 00:51:55,120 Okay. 892 00:51:55,260 --> 00:51:57,180 - Smells a bit weird here too, mate. - Yeah. 893 00:51:57,220 --> 00:51:58,750 What do you call that? 894 00:52:00,490 --> 00:52:02,000 Barbecue. 895 00:52:04,970 --> 00:52:08,550 You will not notice anything out of the ordinary. 896 00:52:09,020 --> 00:52:10,900 No, we certainly hope not. Let's just... 897 00:52:10,940 --> 00:52:12,380 Lets just keep going. 898 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:14,830 - Hi there guys. How are yah? - Hello. 899 00:52:14,850 --> 00:52:15,850 Hi fellas. 900 00:52:15,920 --> 00:52:18,640 We've just wondering where all the shouting was coming from? 901 00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:19,850 That was me. 902 00:52:19,970 --> 00:52:22,210 Yeah, okay, we've had a couple reports, okay? 903 00:52:22,210 --> 00:52:24,190 A couple of people not happy with the level of noise here. 904 00:52:24,190 --> 00:52:24,630 Okay. 905 00:52:24,660 --> 00:52:26,320 The neighbors? 906 00:52:27,010 --> 00:52:28,480 You got neighbors on either side. 907 00:52:28,580 --> 00:52:29,640 Feeling nervous. 908 00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:31,640 I've hypnotized those cops. 909 00:52:31,700 --> 00:52:35,070 I'm not a great hypothesizer so it could wear off any second. 910 00:52:35,230 --> 00:52:37,720 I really hope that those guys don't kill those police 911 00:52:37,780 --> 00:52:39,700 because then this means more police will come. 912 00:52:39,700 --> 00:52:44,120 Possibly even Christians which is totally the last things we need in this house. 913 00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:46,590 I can see you're having a good time. End of the day... 914 00:52:46,770 --> 00:52:48,330 ... we got to keep the, uh, the peace, okay? 915 00:52:48,330 --> 00:52:49,700 Whoa, whoa, whoa... 916 00:52:50,630 --> 00:52:51,880 See what I'm seeing? 917 00:52:52,020 --> 00:52:53,170 Is that even ok? 918 00:52:54,340 --> 00:52:55,650 You're joking? 919 00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,330 Not a smoke alarm in sight. 920 00:52:58,440 --> 00:52:59,740 No smoke detectors, mate? 921 00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:01,460 Rule number 1: 922 00:53:01,690 --> 00:53:03,060 Smoke detectors. 923 00:53:03,330 --> 00:53:03,920 Okay. 924 00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:06,360 Rule number 2: maybe not so many barbeque's inside. 925 00:53:06,740 --> 00:53:07,940 - Sorry fellas. - Okay. 926 00:53:08,460 --> 00:53:10,820 - Barbeque's? - That was really strong there, ain't it? 927 00:53:10,820 --> 00:53:11,830 What kind of marinade? 928 00:53:11,830 --> 00:53:13,250 Who's this guy? 929 00:53:14,040 --> 00:53:15,020 Um... 930 00:53:15,020 --> 00:53:17,940 It's a friend who came to our party. 931 00:53:17,940 --> 00:53:19,280 Mate, you're alright? 932 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:20,780 - He's drunk. - That's what I thought. 933 00:53:20,780 --> 00:53:22,140 Drunk guy. 934 00:53:22,140 --> 00:53:24,390 You can't just leave him down here like that, okay? 935 00:53:24,530 --> 00:53:26,060 This guy's not having a good time. 936 00:53:26,060 --> 00:53:27,720 He's gonna feel terrible tomorrow morning. 937 00:53:27,720 --> 00:53:29,720 Well, he's soul is in hell, so... 938 00:53:29,860 --> 00:53:32,780 Well, I don't know where's his soul's at, but all I am saying, where is his blanket? 939 00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,720 Who left the concrete on? 940 00:53:34,900 --> 00:53:37,310 - Yeah, you can move him there? - It's definitely not going to be comfortable. 941 00:53:37,310 --> 00:53:39,310 - Seen anything else in there? - No, I think I've seen enough. 942 00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:40,930 - Okay. - Hang on a minute. 943 00:53:41,630 --> 00:53:42,970 What have we got here? 944 00:53:44,800 --> 00:53:46,070 - What is that? - This? 945 00:53:46,380 --> 00:53:48,260 - Oh, this? - Are you seeing this clearly as I can? 946 00:53:48,530 --> 00:53:49,660 Adhesive, mate. 947 00:53:49,770 --> 00:53:51,200 That's a flammable. 948 00:53:51,380 --> 00:53:52,990 And then you got a lamp on top of that. 949 00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:54,920 Directly underneath the power source. 950 00:53:55,010 --> 00:53:57,200 - That is quite bad. - It's very bad. 951 00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:58,940 And no smoke detectors again are there? 952 00:53:58,990 --> 00:54:01,010 - No. - Yes, there are. 953 00:54:01,050 --> 00:54:03,150 - Yes, there are. - Okay, that's good. 954 00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,520 Lots to think about guys. 955 00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:06,850 - Yeah, lots to think about there guys. - Next flat-meeting, yeah. 956 00:54:06,940 --> 00:54:08,820 Yeah, good thinking, that's the thing, just... 957 00:54:08,840 --> 00:54:11,010 - ... have a bit of dialogue about it. - Okay. 958 00:54:11,230 --> 00:54:13,350 - They've got a really good point. - Wait! 959 00:54:13,350 --> 00:54:14,550 Let's kill them. 960 00:54:14,850 --> 00:54:16,920 Well, let's just see what other safety... 961 00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,190 - Stay here and then maybe we'll... - Yeah. 962 00:54:28,240 --> 00:54:30,140 I call into session, 963 00:54:30,260 --> 00:54:31,720 this trial of Nick, 964 00:54:31,860 --> 00:54:33,140 of Wellington. 965 00:54:38,250 --> 00:54:39,970 Read the charges. 966 00:54:40,430 --> 00:54:42,290 Problems we have with Nick. 967 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:44,560 Number 1: 968 00:54:44,830 --> 00:54:46,750 You brought a human into our house. 969 00:54:46,850 --> 00:54:49,980 - Which is a big no-no in the vampire world. - Stu is, Stu is okay though? 970 00:54:49,990 --> 00:54:52,240 Yeah, Stu is fine, so I guess we'll just... 971 00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:53,740 ... cross that one out. 972 00:54:54,150 --> 00:54:55,040 Uh... 973 00:54:58,720 --> 00:55:00,410 - Thank you Stu. - Thank you Stu. 974 00:55:00,430 --> 00:55:01,210 So... 975 00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:02,740 The new number 1: 976 00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:05,720 Nick's been telling people he's a vampire. 977 00:55:05,870 --> 00:55:08,670 That in turn resulted in... 978 00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:12,180 ... an unwanted visit from a vampire hunter. 979 00:55:12,210 --> 00:55:13,760 Crime number 2: 980 00:55:13,760 --> 00:55:15,760 This is quite a bigy, Nick. 981 00:55:16,050 --> 00:55:18,660 The vampire hunter who killed Petyr. 982 00:55:19,690 --> 00:55:22,940 That's... I actually should've... that should have been crime number one 983 00:55:22,940 --> 00:55:24,940 but we wanted to build up to that. 984 00:55:24,960 --> 00:55:26,220 Number 3: 985 00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,870 Deacon doesn't like that your wear the same jacket as him. 986 00:55:30,030 --> 00:55:33,220 And he would like you to find your own original style. 987 00:55:34,010 --> 00:55:36,030 For these crimes of which 988 00:55:36,030 --> 00:55:39,430 we the vampire council find you guilty... 989 00:55:39,580 --> 00:55:41,760 ... you should be banished from our flat. 990 00:55:41,950 --> 00:55:43,320 Indefinitely. 991 00:55:43,570 --> 00:55:45,410 - Indefinitely? - Indefinitely. 992 00:55:45,410 --> 00:55:46,360 So I can come back? 993 00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:49,880 No, no, indefinitely means that there is no end. 994 00:55:50,030 --> 00:55:51,140 I thought that there was no... 995 00:55:51,140 --> 00:55:53,970 No, indefinite means that it's not a definite thing. 996 00:55:53,970 --> 00:55:55,530 Yeah, but it's long. 997 00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,040 Could be tomorrow, it could be 6 months. 998 00:55:57,060 --> 00:55:58,810 NO! No, it is not tomorrow! 999 00:55:58,810 --> 00:56:00,420 - You get about at least 6 moths. - Banished! 1000 00:56:00,450 --> 00:56:01,340 You are banished. 1001 00:56:01,340 --> 00:56:03,580 But Stu, you can visit if you like. 1002 00:56:03,580 --> 00:56:04,680 Thank you. 1003 00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:06,890 For your crimes... 1004 00:56:07,220 --> 00:56:09,000 ... you will be made to suffer... 1005 00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:10,510 ... the procession... 1006 00:56:10,510 --> 00:56:11,610 ... of shame. 1007 00:56:11,780 --> 00:56:14,880 I asked them Nick, I asked them not to pass that sentence. 1008 00:56:14,890 --> 00:56:16,440 We should do this immediately. 1009 00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:18,440 - In my opinion. - You didn't ask. 1010 00:56:18,700 --> 00:56:20,720 You didn't ask. You were saying yes. 1011 00:56:24,500 --> 00:56:26,200 - I did... - Well, this is what's going to happen. 1012 00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,200 I still think it's quite extreme. 1013 00:56:28,980 --> 00:56:31,400 Let us do the procession of shame. 1014 00:56:31,570 --> 00:56:32,390 Now. 1015 00:56:34,810 --> 00:56:35,560 - Shame. - Shame! 1016 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,880 Shame. Shame. Shame! 1017 00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:38,760 Shame! 1018 00:56:38,870 --> 00:56:40,150 - Shame. - Bad vampire! 1019 00:56:40,150 --> 00:56:41,130 Shame. 1020 00:56:42,740 --> 00:56:43,960 Should we go Stu? 1021 00:56:49,300 --> 00:56:50,800 Bye Stu. 1022 00:57:07,300 --> 00:57:08,740 That was a shame. 1023 00:57:32,630 --> 00:57:35,760 So today we have an invitation. 1024 00:57:36,310 --> 00:57:38,840 To the big event of the year. 1025 00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:40,840 Breaking it open. 1026 00:57:41,260 --> 00:57:42,970 They have burned the edges. 1027 00:57:42,970 --> 00:57:46,280 - Like a treasure map or something. - It looks very authentic, doesn't it? 1028 00:57:46,900 --> 00:57:48,470 'Dearly departed...' 1029 00:57:48,820 --> 00:57:50,060 That's us. 1030 00:57:50,690 --> 00:57:54,130 'The Wellington vampire association in conjunction with the 1031 00:57:54,130 --> 00:57:56,130 lower-hat-vampire-witch club 1032 00:57:56,130 --> 00:57:59,150 and the Kurory-zombie society 1033 00:57:59,150 --> 00:58:05,870 invite you to attend The Unholy Masquerade on the night of the 6th of June... 1034 00:58:06,130 --> 00:58:09,120 ... starting at 6 PM.' 1035 00:58:10,250 --> 00:58:12,460 - 666... - Oh, yeah... 1036 00:58:12,460 --> 00:58:17,080 The Unholy Masquerade of course is great time for the undead community of Wellington. 1037 00:58:17,090 --> 00:58:23,230 There's zombies there. Vampires, banshees, all having a dance together. 1038 00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:24,950 It's all a big deal for me. 1039 00:58:25,430 --> 00:58:26,180 Love it. 1040 00:58:26,180 --> 00:58:29,740 One year I went to The Unholy Masquerade dressed as 1041 00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:33,320 Whoopi Goldberg from Sister Act... 1042 00:58:33,490 --> 00:58:36,420 ... 1 and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit. 1043 00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:39,930 Didn't go down so well because she was a nun. 1044 00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:43,440 Vampires don't like nuns. 1045 00:58:43,660 --> 00:58:46,330 Of course the big deal of The Unholy Masquerade 1046 00:58:46,330 --> 00:58:49,060 is that every year they announce the guest of honor. 1047 00:58:49,060 --> 00:58:51,060 And...um... 1048 00:58:51,060 --> 00:58:53,500 I don't know if I should be saying this but... 1049 00:58:54,220 --> 00:58:55,770 I heard a little rumor 1050 00:58:55,770 --> 00:58:58,810 that the guest of honor this year... 1051 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,730 ... might be me. 1052 00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:03,630 The location... 1053 00:59:03,940 --> 00:59:06,230 - Oh, yeah, where is it? - Where's the location? 1054 00:59:06,250 --> 00:59:07,610 Detrol of Despair. 1055 00:59:07,640 --> 00:59:10,020 And the guest of honor will be... 1056 00:59:13,490 --> 00:59:15,440 Who is it? Show me. 1057 00:59:22,060 --> 00:59:22,900 Hm. 1058 00:59:24,380 --> 00:59:25,550 Okay. 1059 00:59:26,260 --> 00:59:27,210 Okay. 1060 00:59:28,000 --> 00:59:31,140 - Okay. Okay, that's fine. That's fine. - Okay? 1061 00:59:37,580 --> 00:59:38,610 Vladislav... 1062 00:59:38,920 --> 00:59:40,660 ... has... 1063 00:59:40,660 --> 00:59:45,800 ... just had a reaction to the information that the guest of honor will be... 1064 00:59:45,800 --> 00:59:48,040 ... um... The Beast. 1065 00:59:51,200 --> 00:59:53,640 The darkest part of my mind 1066 00:59:53,640 --> 00:59:55,640 is reserved to The Beast. 1067 00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:57,640 We can tell you a thing or two about The Beast. 1068 00:59:57,640 --> 01:00:00,550 You should pray that you never have to see The Beast. 1069 01:00:00,550 --> 01:00:02,350 This one is called The Beast. 1070 01:00:02,350 --> 01:00:05,440 And I said, 'Get you hands off my balls, Beast!' 1071 01:00:05,440 --> 01:00:07,920 He may have told you some stories about his 1072 01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:09,850 great battle with The Beast. 1073 01:00:09,850 --> 01:00:12,040 Yeah, oh, 'I fought The Beast on a cliff.' 1074 01:00:12,130 --> 01:00:14,700 Oh... 'I fought The Beast in a swamp.' 1075 01:00:15,100 --> 01:00:18,900 'One time I fought The Beast in the toilettes of a night club.' 1076 01:00:19,460 --> 01:00:20,880 Difficult battle. 1077 01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:23,670 I hope you never see The Beast. 1078 01:00:24,710 --> 01:00:26,550 The Beast. 1079 01:00:35,540 --> 01:00:37,520 You can't go the the ball as Blade. 1080 01:00:37,570 --> 01:00:38,780 He's a vampire hunter. 1081 01:00:38,850 --> 01:00:41,300 Yeah, but vampires love Wesley Snipes. 1082 01:00:41,300 --> 01:00:42,900 It's inappropriate. 1083 01:00:42,950 --> 01:00:44,970 Okay, Vlad? The Green Jortes, 1084 01:00:44,970 --> 01:00:47,140 or the Black Leather with the Dragon Belt? 1085 01:00:47,270 --> 01:00:49,640 - We're have a mild crises here. - Doesn't matter which pants you were, just... 1086 01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:51,390 - What do you want with me? - Just look at the pants Vlad! 1087 01:00:51,390 --> 01:00:52,090 Look at the pants! 1088 01:00:52,380 --> 01:00:53,680 Enough with the pants! 1089 01:00:53,700 --> 01:00:55,490 - Shit, man! - Holy shit! 1090 01:00:55,930 --> 01:00:57,240 Oh, you look terrible. 1091 01:00:57,380 --> 01:00:58,770 The black pants. 1092 01:00:58,850 --> 01:01:00,300 Thank you. Get dressed! 1093 01:01:00,300 --> 01:01:02,580 I don't know if I feel up to it, really. 1094 01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:05,770 You don't look that great but if you eat someone on the way... 1095 01:01:05,770 --> 01:01:08,560 If you ate a little bit? - You could probably wear a mask or something. 1096 01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:11,980 Just leave me to do my dark biding on the Internet! 1097 01:01:12,050 --> 01:01:13,200 What are you biding on? 1098 01:01:13,590 --> 01:01:15,470 I'm biding on a table. 1099 01:01:15,470 --> 01:01:17,470 - Are you coming or not? - Not. 1100 01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:19,850 I'm gonna go change. We're leaving in 10 minutes. 1101 01:01:20,020 --> 01:01:21,960 Have a good time! 1102 01:01:38,540 --> 01:01:42,630 We waited often, without giving into that kind of... 1103 01:01:42,770 --> 01:01:45,410 stuff which I'm really sick of that but you know... 1104 01:01:45,410 --> 01:01:47,850 It just that, it's a hard frustration... 1105 01:01:47,920 --> 01:01:49,350 takes people down. 1106 01:01:49,350 --> 01:01:51,850 Come on. Can I introduce, um... 1107 01:01:51,850 --> 01:01:54,830 - Aaron and Alisha. - Hi, how are you? 1108 01:01:54,830 --> 01:01:55,800 Hi. 1109 01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:59,690 - Hi. - Less moaning guys. 1110 01:02:01,080 --> 01:02:03,400 So we are at The Unholy Masquerade. 1111 01:02:03,660 --> 01:02:04,810 It's great. 1112 01:02:05,110 --> 01:02:06,520 This is my mask. 1113 01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:09,190 Which I made for the occasion. 1114 01:02:09,940 --> 01:02:11,250 Hey! 1115 01:02:11,550 --> 01:02:13,800 - Jackie. -Yeah! 1116 01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:16,020 - This is undead party. - Yeah, I'm a vampire. 1117 01:02:16,020 --> 01:02:16,570 You...? 1118 01:02:16,570 --> 01:02:18,280 I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire! 1119 01:02:19,660 --> 01:02:20,680 - Great. - Yeah, yeah. 1120 01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:23,070 - So, um, who bit you? - Oh, Nick. 1121 01:02:23,660 --> 01:02:25,220 - Oh great. - Yeah. 1122 01:02:25,220 --> 01:02:26,180 Okay. 1123 01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:27,380 Deacon! 1124 01:02:29,900 --> 01:02:32,360 Pretty rude, because she was my... 1125 01:02:32,660 --> 01:02:33,350 ... servant. 1126 01:02:33,350 --> 01:02:35,320 She was a pretty useless servant. 1127 01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:37,890 - I wouldn't... - Yeah, yeah, but still, it would have been... 1128 01:02:37,890 --> 01:02:39,640 ... appreciated if you'd asked... 1129 01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:40,930 How's Stu? 1130 01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:42,400 - He's good. He's here. 1131 01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:44,400 - Oh, his here? - Stu! STU! 1132 01:02:45,550 --> 01:02:46,480 Hey, hey! 1133 01:02:46,750 --> 01:02:47,990 Hey! 1134 01:02:49,460 --> 01:02:52,530 Has anyone looked at you like they want to eat you, at all? 1135 01:02:52,740 --> 01:02:54,350 Ah, no... 1136 01:02:54,350 --> 01:02:56,350 Can you hear me at the back? 1137 01:02:56,390 --> 01:02:59,410 On behalf of the Wellington vampire society... 1138 01:02:59,730 --> 01:03:03,680 ... uh, with lower-hat vampire and witch club. 1139 01:03:03,680 --> 01:03:08,410 And the Kurory Zombie society, we welcome you here tonight. 1140 01:03:08,580 --> 01:03:12,220 We're raffling a live big pet this year, you could see 1141 01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:14,520 the prize over here on my left. 1142 01:03:14,640 --> 01:03:15,980 It's a wonderful prize. 1143 01:03:15,980 --> 01:03:20,550 I thinks it's a 10 dollars each or 45 dollars for a book of five. 1144 01:03:20,890 --> 01:03:24,460 Now without further adieu, it's my very great pleasure 1145 01:03:24,550 --> 01:03:27,950 to introduce to you this years guest of honor. 1146 01:03:28,070 --> 01:03:30,460 Pauline Ivanovich! 1147 01:03:32,050 --> 01:03:33,250 Thank you. 1148 01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:37,860 That's The Beast. 1149 01:03:37,860 --> 01:03:38,700 Thank you. 1150 01:03:38,730 --> 01:03:43,090 The Beast is, uh, the name I gave to my ex-girlfriend Pauline. 1151 01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:45,130 She prefers Pauline. 1152 01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:48,140 We had a very intense relationship. 1153 01:03:48,140 --> 01:03:49,200 We were very... 1154 01:03:49,520 --> 01:03:51,650 ... sexually explosive. 1155 01:03:51,820 --> 01:03:56,990 Last time I saw her, she impelled me and called me an asshole. 1156 01:03:56,990 --> 01:03:58,060 She said... 1157 01:03:58,370 --> 01:04:01,000 ... all kinds of things that really hurt me. 1158 01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:04,820 And all this while I was impelled on a lamp post. 1159 01:04:05,100 --> 01:04:10,330 Well, everyone, I will be mingling around and I really hope that... 1160 01:04:10,890 --> 01:04:13,020 ... I will meet... 1161 01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:15,090 ... all of you. 1162 01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:31,800 Hello. 1163 01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:33,220 That's the new guy. 1164 01:04:33,860 --> 01:04:38,020 What, what kind of vampire... if he is a vampire. Did you see his face? 1165 01:04:39,600 --> 01:04:41,130 Oh... oh. 1166 01:04:42,060 --> 01:04:44,250 - Hello! - Hi, how are you? 1167 01:04:44,250 --> 01:04:46,510 - This is Deacon. - Hello Deacon. 1168 01:04:46,510 --> 01:04:48,510 - This is Stu. - Good day Stu. 1169 01:04:48,610 --> 01:04:49,920 - How are you my friend? - Good. 1170 01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:50,900 Hi. Stu. 1171 01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:53,210 You got really warm hands too. 1172 01:04:53,350 --> 01:04:55,040 You a demon? 1173 01:04:55,280 --> 01:04:58,280 - No, he's not a demon! - I'm a software analyst. 1174 01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:01,000 - Stu, Stu, Stu... - Am I a witch? 1175 01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:03,060 Go dance, uh, with anyone. 1176 01:05:03,060 --> 01:05:04,740 - Sure. - Okay, take your time. 1177 01:05:04,740 --> 01:05:09,560 I like Stu. He's not vampire, or a zombie... 1178 01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:11,130 - Am I a witch? - He's not... 1179 01:05:11,130 --> 01:05:14,830 He not uh... he's neither, he's uh... more of a human. 1180 01:05:16,650 --> 01:05:19,250 Excuse me, excuse me. Hi, Nick, hey. 1181 01:05:19,320 --> 01:05:20,940 Um, Nick... 1182 01:05:21,360 --> 01:05:24,520 Do you mind if Stu is killed? 1183 01:05:24,520 --> 01:05:26,330 Uh, I don't feel real good about it. 1184 01:05:26,330 --> 01:05:30,780 Can I, can I just ask you, you know, a... 1185 01:05:30,780 --> 01:05:32,280 - ... a personal question? - Sure. 1186 01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:35,570 Are you, um.... 1187 01:05:36,830 --> 01:05:39,820 ... are you, are you, are you predeceased? 1188 01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,140 Uh... 1189 01:05:43,050 --> 01:05:46,240 If anyone's gonna eat him is gonna be us but we're not, we're passed it. 1190 01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:47,800 They can just go fuck themselves. 1191 01:05:47,800 --> 01:05:49,340 Nick! It is your fault. 1192 01:05:49,340 --> 01:05:53,370 Okay? You brought a human into this den of vampis nest. 1193 01:05:53,370 --> 01:05:55,070 - You're not helping. - Yes, you did. 1194 01:05:55,070 --> 01:05:57,780 - Plus one. - Lovely talking to you, I've got to shout off now. 1195 01:05:57,780 --> 01:05:59,130 See you later on. 1196 01:06:04,100 --> 01:06:07,360 As soon as one vampire takes a bite, it's a frenzy! 1197 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:08,590 - A frenzy! - Okay, we've got to get him out. 1198 01:06:08,590 --> 01:06:10,530 Okay, follow me, follow me. 1199 01:06:10,560 --> 01:06:13,200 Excuse me, sorry guys. 1200 01:06:13,460 --> 01:06:14,520 Okay, Stu. 1201 01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:16,890 Put that over your red face. 1202 01:06:17,220 --> 01:06:19,160 - Just going out for a cigarette. - Oh, hey! 1203 01:06:19,160 --> 01:06:21,160 - Okay, not that way. - This way. 1204 01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:23,160 - This way. - Is there another way? 1205 01:06:25,240 --> 01:06:27,630 - Get away from the vampires. - Guys... 1206 01:06:27,630 --> 01:06:28,860 Excuse me everyone! 1207 01:06:28,860 --> 01:06:31,140 Can I have your attention please. 1208 01:06:31,950 --> 01:06:36,880 Some of the vampires forget Unholy Masquerade rules. 1209 01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:38,880 They brought a human. 1210 01:06:39,360 --> 01:06:44,130 And they don't let us to feast on him. 1211 01:06:45,480 --> 01:06:47,470 This was a total misunderstanding. 1212 01:06:47,470 --> 01:06:50,950 There was on the invitation, and this actually pertains to you... 1213 01:06:50,950 --> 01:06:52,640 ... the invitation, it said, 1214 01:06:52,640 --> 01:06:55,000 - plus one, but it did not specify... - Okay. 1215 01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:56,780 - Wait, look... - If it could be a human or 1216 01:06:56,780 --> 01:06:58,010 if it could be werewolf or... 1217 01:06:58,010 --> 01:07:00,610 Yeah, but he could be a vampire hunter for all we know. 1218 01:07:00,610 --> 01:07:03,620 He could texting his mates, saying, 'I've got them all under one place 1219 01:07:03,620 --> 01:07:05,830 come on over. We'll have a vampire barbecue!' 1220 01:07:06,100 --> 01:07:07,760 Well, he's not, he's not doing that. 1221 01:07:08,060 --> 01:07:09,220 How do we know that? 1222 01:07:09,220 --> 01:07:10,810 He's wearing a bow-tie, look at him! 1223 01:07:10,810 --> 01:07:12,000 Stu, tell them what you do. 1224 01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:14,440 Come on Stu! Tell us what you do. Come on. 1225 01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:15,810 Tell them what you do, Stu. 1226 01:07:16,000 --> 01:07:18,070 - Hi, my name is Stu uh... - Don't fuck it up, man. 1227 01:07:18,070 --> 01:07:19,170 - I can't hear Stu. - Louder, louder! 1228 01:07:19,170 --> 01:07:21,500 Hi, my name is Stu, uh, I work in... 1229 01:07:21,500 --> 01:07:22,400 - I can't hear... - Louder. 1230 01:07:22,400 --> 01:07:24,170 Stu can't hear, they cannot hear you. 1231 01:07:24,220 --> 01:07:29,060 Hi, my name is Stu. I'm a software analyst. I work for a geographic information system company. 1232 01:07:29,100 --> 01:07:30,530 -Uh... - Sorry, what is it? 1233 01:07:30,670 --> 01:07:32,740 I work for a company that does 1234 01:07:32,740 --> 01:07:36,250 basically we take like business requirements from organizations. 1235 01:07:36,250 --> 01:07:40,260 Then we analyze those requirements and then we build software 1236 01:07:40,300 --> 01:07:41,480 to fit those requirements. 1237 01:07:41,870 --> 01:07:44,140 He is a virgin. He is a virgin! 1238 01:07:44,140 --> 01:07:47,240 - I can smell a virgin of a thousand paces. - Go on then. 1239 01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:50,540 Take your thousand paces and smell yourselves! 1240 01:07:50,580 --> 01:07:52,390 I can't wait till you moan them. 1241 01:08:05,280 --> 01:08:08,160 There should be no eating of the human. 1242 01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,740 Who are you all of a sudden? 1243 01:08:09,740 --> 01:08:12,680 You have forgotten your former lover. 1244 01:08:12,730 --> 01:08:14,350 So quickly. 1245 01:08:17,480 --> 01:08:18,760 Georgie? 1246 01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:20,760 No, not... 1247 01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:23,570 ... Georgie, like, 5-years Saturday. 1248 01:08:23,570 --> 01:08:24,490 No. 1249 01:08:24,790 --> 01:08:26,260 Wait a minute. 1250 01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:27,960 Just one moment. 1251 01:08:28,060 --> 01:08:29,000 No... 1252 01:08:29,390 --> 01:08:31,810 No, I've got it, it's coming, take it away... 1253 01:08:34,880 --> 01:08:36,380 Hello Beast. 1254 01:08:36,380 --> 01:08:37,700 Hello asshole. 1255 01:08:37,700 --> 01:08:40,870 - Hey, don't call me asshole! - Don't call me... 1256 01:08:40,870 --> 01:08:44,160 ... Beast. This is Vladislav. This is me ex-boyfriend. - This is absolutely the same. 1257 01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:47,410 - You know, the one who fucked the police... - Alright, that's old business, that's... 1258 01:08:47,410 --> 01:08:48,400 - ... personal business. - Yeah. 1259 01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:50,640 - Nice to meet you asshole. - This is my lover. 1260 01:08:50,640 --> 01:08:53,040 You will not feast on the blood of the human known as Stu. 1261 01:08:53,040 --> 01:08:55,580 Listen asshole, this is a human and 1262 01:08:55,580 --> 01:08:57,720 this is the rules and what is cameras doing here? 1263 01:08:57,720 --> 01:08:59,920 One, and then another one, what is this? 1264 01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:01,720 They're making a documentary on... 1265 01:09:01,720 --> 01:09:03,330 This is a private secret society mate, 1266 01:09:03,330 --> 01:09:05,580 you don't go bringing your bloody cameras into everything. 1267 01:09:05,580 --> 01:09:08,390 You will not eat Stu and you will not eat the camera guy. 1268 01:09:08,390 --> 01:09:11,290 - Maybe one camera guy... - I'm up to bloody here, with you at the moment. 1269 01:09:11,290 --> 01:09:13,770 And all your mates behind there, whoever the hell they are. 1270 01:09:13,770 --> 01:09:15,460 We're gonna eat the human being. 1271 01:09:15,460 --> 01:09:17,330 And there's nothing you can do about it, alright? 1272 01:09:17,330 --> 01:09:18,340 Now back off! 1273 01:09:18,340 --> 01:09:19,960 And let my misses get her way. 1274 01:09:19,960 --> 01:09:21,720 Oh, there's nothing I can do about it? 1275 01:09:21,720 --> 01:09:23,700 - That's right. - Well, what about this? 1276 01:09:24,850 --> 01:09:27,370 Diego, rip his head off. 1277 01:09:27,640 --> 01:09:28,940 What do you want?! 1278 01:09:29,350 --> 01:09:31,040 Vampire fight! 1279 01:09:31,770 --> 01:09:33,160 Get him Vladislav! 1280 01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:48,460 Rip his head off! 1281 01:09:48,460 --> 01:09:49,620 He's killing him! 1282 01:09:49,620 --> 01:09:52,120 It is forbidden for vampires... 1283 01:09:52,120 --> 01:09:53,700 ... to kill a vampire. 1284 01:09:56,230 --> 01:09:58,380 - What the f... - Medic! 1285 01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:01,160 What? 1286 01:10:01,930 --> 01:10:04,680 Are you okay, love? Get out! 1287 01:10:05,030 --> 01:10:06,920 We should probably go Stu. 1288 01:10:07,850 --> 01:10:09,620 It was great to see you, 1289 01:10:09,620 --> 01:10:11,620 - Pauline. - Asshole! 1290 01:10:11,630 --> 01:10:12,480 Perfect. 1291 01:10:13,880 --> 01:10:16,010 - That was very... how we both... - He's a murderer! 1292 01:10:16,010 --> 01:10:19,620 We both, together, equally destroyed that guy! 1293 01:10:19,620 --> 01:10:22,240 Yeah, but it was more Stu with the giant stick! 1294 01:10:22,240 --> 01:10:25,120 I hope this doesn't make this awkward for you and The Beast. 1295 01:10:25,570 --> 01:10:28,360 No, I think it's opened up new possibilities. 1296 01:10:28,470 --> 01:10:30,160 Oh, no. 1297 01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:32,880 Here we go again. 1298 01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:34,880 Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu! 1299 01:10:34,880 --> 01:10:36,940 Stu, Stu, STU! 1300 01:10:36,940 --> 01:10:39,220 Stu, Stu, Stu, Stu... 1301 01:10:39,220 --> 01:10:42,210 - Stuuu... Stuuu... - Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop! 1302 01:10:42,210 --> 01:10:43,510 Listen, listen! 1303 01:10:43,950 --> 01:10:45,150 You smell that? 1304 01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:48,020 This way. 1305 01:10:49,490 --> 01:10:50,750 Werewolves. 1306 01:10:51,400 --> 01:10:54,100 - Oh, no. - Look what the cat dragged in, huh? 1307 01:10:54,160 --> 01:10:56,780 - Piss off. - Keep walking. Don't hassle us tonight. 1308 01:10:56,780 --> 01:10:58,780 There has been no hassle here. 1309 01:10:58,870 --> 01:11:00,450 Well, let it stay that way. 1310 01:11:00,450 --> 01:11:02,050 Keep chaining yourselves up! 1311 01:11:02,300 --> 01:11:04,050 Guys, where's your track suite pants? 1312 01:11:04,050 --> 01:11:05,640 It was washing night. 1313 01:11:05,640 --> 01:11:07,960 My misses couldn't wash them cause there was too much blood on them. 1314 01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:10,360 When your legs expand they go into the track suit. 1315 01:11:10,360 --> 01:11:12,770 - Oh! - Those jeans are gonna rip completely! 1316 01:11:12,770 --> 01:11:14,490 You've lost all those trousers, guys? 1317 01:11:14,630 --> 01:11:16,710 Declan, that tree's far too thin! 1318 01:11:16,710 --> 01:11:18,050 Look at it! It's like a branch! 1319 01:11:18,050 --> 01:11:20,430 You don't know how big you get when you transform! 1320 01:11:20,430 --> 01:11:22,430 That's the wrong tree for you. 1321 01:11:22,940 --> 01:11:24,000 Anton, I've... 1322 01:11:24,000 --> 01:11:26,220 Oh, no, you've forgot the combination. 1323 01:11:26,590 --> 01:11:28,310 Why did you get a combination lock? 1324 01:11:28,310 --> 01:11:29,720 I lost my key last time. 1325 01:11:29,830 --> 01:11:32,610 Okay, well, it's probably 4 zeros, that's the factory setting, is it? 1326 01:11:32,610 --> 01:11:34,340 - Fuck off to a tree. - Hey! 1327 01:11:34,340 --> 01:11:35,950 Werewolves, not swearwolves. 1328 01:11:35,950 --> 01:11:37,950 Yeah, I know, well on transformation nights, 1329 01:11:37,950 --> 01:11:39,950 it's alright, alright? I'm getting stressed out. 1330 01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:41,320 I was just reminding you. 1331 01:11:41,320 --> 01:11:43,980 Stop talking and chain yourself up you dickhead! 1332 01:11:43,980 --> 01:11:45,380 Honestly, we're transforming. 1333 01:11:45,420 --> 01:11:46,740 Alright, we'll keep walking. 1334 01:11:46,740 --> 01:11:49,610 - Yeah, keep walking. By the way I find that offensive! - We'll keep walking. 1335 01:11:49,750 --> 01:11:50,750 Is it fur? 1336 01:11:50,780 --> 01:11:52,140 Oh, for crying out loud. 1337 01:11:52,310 --> 01:11:55,250 Don't look at the fur everyone. Get back to your trees, okay? 1338 01:11:55,250 --> 01:11:56,910 - That's disgusting, man. - You're wearing fur. 1339 01:11:56,910 --> 01:11:58,140 Declan! 1340 01:11:58,140 --> 01:11:59,600 - That's not real fur. - Oh, shit! 1341 01:12:01,840 --> 01:12:04,210 Honestly, get out of here. Take your humans! 1342 01:12:04,210 --> 01:12:06,210 The guy in the bow-tie, he's gonna go first! 1343 01:12:07,570 --> 01:12:08,950 Get out of here! 1344 01:12:09,320 --> 01:12:12,000 Take all your coats off if you want to keep everyone! 1345 01:12:12,100 --> 01:12:13,940 Take that army service jacket off... 1346 01:12:17,390 --> 01:12:19,340 Get that camera out of my face! 1347 01:12:19,340 --> 01:12:21,340 Go, go! Let's go, let's go. Come on! 1348 01:12:23,040 --> 01:12:24,440 Run, Stu, RUN! 1349 01:12:27,190 --> 01:12:28,720 Let's go, let's go! 1350 01:12:34,000 --> 01:12:35,840 - They're coming, guys! - Shit! 1351 01:12:36,200 --> 01:12:37,540 I got one! 1352 01:12:55,520 --> 01:12:57,410 My leg! My leg! 1353 01:13:02,400 --> 01:13:03,550 Oh, God! 1354 01:13:04,040 --> 01:13:05,970 Stu! Stu! 1355 01:13:05,970 --> 01:13:07,060 STU! 1356 01:13:11,690 --> 01:13:12,560 Stu! 1357 01:13:14,020 --> 01:13:15,380 Get off me! 1358 01:13:16,620 --> 01:13:18,280 Stu, are you alright?! 1359 01:13:19,150 --> 01:13:20,160 Stu! 1360 01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:22,350 Stu! 1361 01:13:23,540 --> 01:13:24,320 Ah, fuck! 1362 01:13:28,620 --> 01:13:29,800 Fuck off! 1363 01:13:30,120 --> 01:13:31,520 Get off me! 1364 01:13:33,640 --> 01:13:35,550 You stinky piece of assholes! 1365 01:13:40,860 --> 01:13:42,610 Stupid werewolves! 1366 01:13:42,860 --> 01:13:44,140 Look away Nick! 1367 01:13:44,140 --> 01:13:46,140 Don't look at their blood! 1368 01:13:46,330 --> 01:13:47,990 Stu! 1369 01:13:48,190 --> 01:13:50,880 He's a really good dude! Leave him alone! 1370 01:13:50,900 --> 01:13:51,930 It's too late for him! 1371 01:13:51,930 --> 01:13:54,120 - Don't look at the blood Nick! - Stu! 1372 01:14:06,070 --> 01:14:07,880 There he is. 1373 01:14:09,630 --> 01:14:12,670 He's probably still a little upset having seen his 1374 01:14:12,670 --> 01:14:16,000 best friend disemboweled by werewolves. 1375 01:14:18,130 --> 01:14:19,290 Nick! 1376 01:14:20,000 --> 01:14:21,260 I found you. 1377 01:14:22,820 --> 01:14:23,960 Whoa! 1378 01:14:26,420 --> 01:14:28,400 That was pretty full on, heh? 1379 01:14:34,410 --> 01:14:37,200 But this is what happens when you are a vampire. 1380 01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:40,200 You have to watch everyone die. 1381 01:14:42,270 --> 01:14:44,520 You're mother and father. 1382 01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:45,940 All your friends. 1383 01:14:46,180 --> 01:14:47,810 Sometimes brutal. 1384 01:14:50,360 --> 01:14:53,660 Like slipping and falling onto a giant spike. 1385 01:14:53,920 --> 01:14:55,530 Or falling asleep. 1386 01:14:55,800 --> 01:14:58,320 In an autumn pile of leaves, 1387 01:14:58,680 --> 01:15:02,400 and having some of them, block your wind pipe. 1388 01:15:03,010 --> 01:15:05,580 Or making the simple mistake, 1389 01:15:06,040 --> 01:15:08,680 of fashioning a mask out of crackers, 1390 01:15:08,680 --> 01:15:10,680 and being attacked by ducks. 1391 01:15:10,930 --> 01:15:12,190 Geese. 1392 01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:14,220 Swans. 1393 01:15:14,850 --> 01:15:16,880 Or simply dieing of old age. 1394 01:15:19,470 --> 01:15:21,940 But even old age is brutal. 1395 01:15:22,390 --> 01:15:24,010 Watching your friends... 1396 01:15:24,280 --> 01:15:25,240 ... grow old. 1397 01:15:25,510 --> 01:15:27,460 They can't piss. 1398 01:15:27,760 --> 01:15:31,340 And they say stupid things and their brains go and they 1399 01:15:31,340 --> 01:15:33,340 can't remember anything. 1400 01:15:35,460 --> 01:15:38,880 And then, one day, they can't even remember who you are. 1401 01:15:40,210 --> 01:15:42,350 And you wish they were dead. 1402 01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:44,780 And then they do die. 1403 01:15:48,260 --> 01:15:49,240 No. 1404 01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:51,240 If I know Stu... 1405 01:15:51,890 --> 01:15:54,590 ... this was probably the way he wanted to go. 1406 01:15:55,060 --> 01:15:57,620 Disemboweled by werewolves. 1407 01:15:58,490 --> 01:15:59,940 Blood and guts, 1408 01:15:59,940 --> 01:16:01,940 splat onto the trees. 1409 01:16:02,210 --> 01:16:04,660 His face torned to shreds. 1410 01:16:14,380 --> 01:16:16,630 I hope I made you feel better. 1411 01:16:23,050 --> 01:16:25,460 Ah, well, from what we could see in the beginning 1412 01:16:25,460 --> 01:16:27,900 it looks like there's been a bit of a dog attack. 1413 01:16:27,900 --> 01:16:29,500 That's really what happens, when you get, you know... 1414 01:16:29,500 --> 01:16:30,660 dangerous dogs. 1415 01:16:30,660 --> 01:16:32,480 Um, straits, not being looked after. 1416 01:16:32,480 --> 01:16:33,780 This is not good. 1417 01:16:34,580 --> 01:16:36,160 No, not good at all. 1418 01:16:36,800 --> 01:16:38,580 There's nicer ways to go, then being... 1419 01:16:38,580 --> 01:16:42,650 ... torn apart, by what looks like a pack of dogs, more than just one. 1420 01:16:42,650 --> 01:16:45,030 - I say so. - These attacks have been happening more, more frequent. 1421 01:16:45,030 --> 01:16:48,360 They're happening on a monthly bases and and it's just no good for anybody, okay? 1422 01:16:48,460 --> 01:16:50,560 Specially not the dogs. Certainly not the community. 1423 01:16:50,710 --> 01:16:52,440 I've got the bastard. 1424 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:53,880 One of them here, hey? 1425 01:16:54,000 --> 01:16:55,690 That's what I'm talking about. Look at it. 1426 01:16:55,690 --> 01:16:57,980 End of the day, this dog is gonna have to be put down. 1427 01:16:58,140 --> 01:16:59,490 What a shame. 1428 01:17:01,030 --> 01:17:02,050 Look what you did. 1429 01:17:02,390 --> 01:17:03,130 Hey? 1430 01:17:03,680 --> 01:17:06,430 He's got the scent again, hasn't he? He wants to go again. He's not finished. 1431 01:17:06,430 --> 01:17:07,050 Yeah. 1432 01:17:36,000 --> 01:17:40,060 They say that vampires hearts are cold and dead. 1433 01:17:40,540 --> 01:17:42,630 Definitely dead. 1434 01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:45,860 - Bye Stu. - He would have loved his scarf. 1435 01:17:45,860 --> 01:17:48,000 It was lovely, loose, knit. 1436 01:17:48,530 --> 01:17:52,200 But I don't know. I think I still feel things inside it. 1437 01:17:56,210 --> 01:17:57,370 Deacon! 1438 01:17:58,620 --> 01:17:59,760 Deacon! 1439 01:17:59,870 --> 01:18:02,350 Deacon, wakey, wakey. Hey! 1440 01:18:02,350 --> 01:18:05,720 You don't sleep in here. The curtain's opened. It's nearly morning. 1441 01:18:05,810 --> 01:18:08,230 You want to get sizzled to a crisp. 1442 01:18:08,370 --> 01:18:11,230 You know, you could think a little about these things. 1443 01:18:11,230 --> 01:18:11,620 Okay. 1444 01:18:11,710 --> 01:18:13,700 - Sorry Viago. - It's okay. 1445 01:18:13,860 --> 01:18:15,800 - Night, night! Okay. 1446 01:18:42,060 --> 01:18:45,520 Received at 4:20 AM: 1447 01:19:08,470 --> 01:19:10,100 - Stu?! - Hey, Deacon. 1448 01:19:10,420 --> 01:19:11,900 - Stu! - How is it? 1449 01:19:12,710 --> 01:19:13,720 Good to see you. 1450 01:19:13,840 --> 01:19:14,760 Look at his face! 1451 01:19:14,760 --> 01:19:16,320 I saw them tear you to shreds! 1452 01:19:16,320 --> 01:19:17,580 Look! He looks like Seal! 1453 01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:19,010 They didn't kill me. 1454 01:19:19,040 --> 01:19:21,280 - It looks cool. - Thank you, thank you. 1455 01:19:21,390 --> 01:19:22,640 Meet some of our friends. 1456 01:19:23,030 --> 01:19:24,600 Anton, Deacon. 1457 01:19:25,240 --> 01:19:26,790 Hi, Anton. 1458 01:19:30,580 --> 01:19:32,560 I must have blacked out. 1459 01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:34,040 And then, I remember, 1460 01:19:34,040 --> 01:19:35,480 - an ambulance. - He's going into shock. 1461 01:19:35,480 --> 01:19:37,430 O'Leary. O'Leary! 1462 01:19:37,430 --> 01:19:39,040 Yeah, coming! 1463 01:19:39,040 --> 01:19:41,320 - Okay, calm down, mate. - Calm down. 1464 01:19:44,780 --> 01:19:46,040 Looks like rabies, doesn't it? 1465 01:19:46,040 --> 01:19:48,880 And I don't know how long after that was, but like, woke up. 1466 01:19:49,320 --> 01:19:51,930 And it was daytime. 1467 01:19:55,660 --> 01:19:57,560 And I couldn't find my clothes. 1468 01:19:59,820 --> 01:20:01,750 Those werewolves guys... 1469 01:20:01,920 --> 01:20:03,050 ... eventually found me. 1470 01:20:03,620 --> 01:20:05,040 And they had some, 1471 01:20:05,040 --> 01:20:07,040 they like, lent me some pants. 1472 01:20:08,110 --> 01:20:10,110 So, yeah, those guys have been supporting me. 1473 01:20:10,360 --> 01:20:12,110 Cause I was quite confused. 1474 01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:15,840 Yeah, these are the guys who, um, 1475 01:20:16,100 --> 01:20:17,520 turned me into a werewolf. 1476 01:20:17,960 --> 01:20:19,410 You knit your own jersey? 1477 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:21,310 - Yes. - Oh, yeah? 1478 01:20:21,500 --> 01:20:23,360 - I knit. - Is that the moon, or? 1479 01:20:23,620 --> 01:20:25,980 - Yes. - Hopefully, we won't, you know... 1480 01:20:29,130 --> 01:20:30,570 Ah, this is a nice place. 1481 01:20:30,570 --> 01:20:33,360 Please, don't, ah, don't lick anything or... 1482 01:20:33,360 --> 01:20:35,360 ... pee on anything. 1483 01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:37,220 We were worried at first, you know, we thought 1484 01:20:37,220 --> 01:20:39,630 'Ooh, they are just going to urinate on everything.' 1485 01:20:39,860 --> 01:20:43,110 But they actually are really polite and pretty clean. 1486 01:20:43,240 --> 01:20:45,860 There was obviously that werewolves smell, 1487 01:20:45,860 --> 01:20:49,220 which permeated the entire house for the first half an hour. 1488 01:20:49,220 --> 01:20:52,210 But we opened some windows and got rid of that. 1489 01:20:52,210 --> 01:20:54,500 'What a stupid suggestion, their idea,' I thought. 1490 01:20:54,520 --> 01:20:55,320 No way. 1491 01:20:55,320 --> 01:20:58,010 You know, walking into the vampire's den. That's ludicrous. 1492 01:20:58,010 --> 01:20:59,280 That's my hand. 1493 01:20:59,350 --> 01:21:01,230 But I thought, we'll give it a shot. 1494 01:21:01,230 --> 01:21:03,400 You know, I'm the alpha male, so I made the call. 1495 01:21:03,630 --> 01:21:04,920 I'm the alpha male. 1496 01:21:04,920 --> 01:21:07,220 - Yes. - So, generally... 1497 01:21:07,270 --> 01:21:08,510 ... all of the other guys follow me. 1498 01:21:08,510 --> 01:21:09,650 - For Stu! - For STU! 1499 01:21:09,740 --> 01:21:10,890 Thanks guys. 1500 01:21:10,890 --> 01:21:12,490 What have you done to your face? 1501 01:21:12,660 --> 01:21:14,880 I got attacked by some werewolves. 1502 01:21:14,940 --> 01:21:18,320 Army is a werewolf. Seemed like a very nice person. 1503 01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:20,800 So, Katherine is a vampire now. 1504 01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:22,860 - Yes. - We decide to get together. 1505 01:21:22,860 --> 01:21:24,640 We just thought, the hell with it, you know. 1506 01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:26,110 What have we got to lose? 1507 01:21:26,510 --> 01:21:29,140 I was just sitting, doing nothing, 1508 01:21:29,140 --> 01:21:32,210 and he came floating in and over to me, 1509 01:21:32,210 --> 01:21:34,900 and I recognized him. It was wonderful. 1510 01:21:34,900 --> 01:21:36,900 And then I bit you on the neck. 1511 01:21:37,610 --> 01:21:39,160 That's right. 1512 01:21:40,230 --> 01:21:42,340 And I don't mind being a vampire. 1513 01:21:42,340 --> 01:21:44,340 I'm enjoying it. 1514 01:21:45,620 --> 01:21:48,280 Some people freak out a bit about the age difference. 1515 01:21:48,280 --> 01:21:52,020 Uh, they think, 'what's this 96-year old lady doing with a guy, 1516 01:21:52,020 --> 01:21:53,790 for times her age.' 1517 01:21:53,930 --> 01:21:56,920 - And, you know, I don't care... - It doesn't make any difference. 1518 01:21:56,920 --> 01:21:59,410 No, they can call me cradle-snatcher, who cares. 1519 01:21:59,560 --> 01:22:02,560 I decided to bite her and we're gonna be together forever. 1520 01:22:02,740 --> 01:22:04,180 - Wonderful. - Yeah. 1521 01:22:20,020 --> 01:22:23,740 Pauline and I are tentatively back together. 1522 01:22:23,960 --> 01:22:27,400 But it's not long before you remember why it was we 1523 01:22:27,400 --> 01:22:29,400 broke up in the first place. 1524 01:22:33,990 --> 01:22:35,180 We start in our bedroom, 1525 01:22:35,180 --> 01:22:38,200 and I need that totally boarded up or blacked out somehow. 1526 01:22:38,200 --> 01:22:39,840 My husband is my familiar. 1527 01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:42,710 So, there has been a dynamic shift there. 1528 01:22:42,730 --> 01:22:45,880 You could buy a Bedazzler. So you write that down. That's B-E-D... 1529 01:22:45,880 --> 01:22:48,680 I feel like I'm where I need to be now. 1530 01:22:49,220 --> 01:22:51,140 - I love you. - I love you too. 1531 01:22:51,200 --> 01:22:52,060 Great. 1532 01:22:53,110 --> 01:22:54,540 But I am your Master. 1533 01:22:54,660 --> 01:22:56,410 - Okay? - Yeah. 1534 01:22:57,280 --> 01:22:59,530 Yeah, these guys have to laugh at my jokes, right guys? 1535 01:22:59,690 --> 01:23:01,160 Yeah! 1536 01:23:01,790 --> 01:23:02,790 That is a good one. 1537 01:23:02,790 --> 01:23:04,930 I always look round to make sure they're all laughing. 1538 01:23:04,930 --> 01:23:07,290 Like, if I see one of them is not quite laughing I'll be like, 'Hey!' 1539 01:23:07,290 --> 01:23:09,430 'You laughing?', and often I'll test you. 1540 01:23:09,430 --> 01:23:10,900 - What are you laughing at, Justin? 1541 01:23:10,900 --> 01:23:12,600 - Hey? - What are you laughing at now? 1542 01:23:12,600 --> 01:23:14,600 - Just then? - Yeah, yeah, but what? 1543 01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:15,690 Oh, I don't know. 1544 01:23:15,760 --> 01:23:19,010 Ah, test failed! Test failed! 1545 01:23:19,010 --> 01:23:21,430 You're laughing now. What are you laughing at now though? 1546 01:23:21,710 --> 01:23:22,890 I don't know cause... 1547 01:23:22,890 --> 01:23:25,780 Ah, another failure! 1548 01:23:25,840 --> 01:23:27,490 Well, what are you laughing at Stu? 1549 01:23:27,710 --> 01:23:29,240 Oh, I was laughing with the group. 1550 01:23:29,320 --> 01:23:31,020 Yep, that's good. That's good, yeah. 1551 01:23:32,400 --> 01:23:34,640 Just pay attention. Pay attention. 1552 01:23:35,570 --> 01:23:36,620 Laugh with the group. 1553 01:25:12,580 --> 01:25:15,540 You will not remember the last hour and a half, 1554 01:25:15,540 --> 01:25:17,540 of what you have just seen. 1555 01:25:18,340 --> 01:25:19,730 You will forget... 1556 01:25:20,260 --> 01:25:22,510 ... the contents of this movie. 1557 01:25:27,390 --> 01:25:31,410 Subtitles by -MoonGuardianCat- 113979