Original subtitles

Reporter: Enjoy these cool-morning temperatures

while they last, because when that marine layer burns off,

it's gonna get hot and stay hot.

We'll see temperatures soaring into the triple digits today

and staying there for the rest of the week.

I just don't think we should be packing

that much medicine.

That's what the camp nurse is for.

What if someone doesn't feel well

in the middle of the night?

Camp nurse.

What if it's something small

that you don't want to wake a whole nurse up for?

Let's say Mason has a stomach ache

that could be fixed with a cup of mint tea.

A cup of mint tea?

In his bunk? How does that even work?

Lena, no. Just hear me out.

No. You are not packing him a

He's a 14-year-old boy, not Agatha Christie.

He might miss the comforts of home.

It's camp!

He's supposed to miss the comforts of home!

Ugh.

Hey, buddy. You excited for camp?

No.

What? You love camp.

I did love camp.

But Jules is gonna be there this summer.

Jules is your best friend.

He lives to humiliate me, Dad.

The kids at my camp think I'm cool,

and now Jules is gonna be up there all summer,

drawing dongs on my face.

Well, don't let him.

Listen, man. You are bigger than Jules. By a lot.

You got to put him in his place.

What do you mean, like fight him?

No, of course not. Don't fight him...

Just maybe scare him a little.

Okay, man, look.

Let's -- Let's -- Let's practice, right?

You're big. You're strong.

Jules starts talking smack, right?

You get all up in his grill, and you say...

Why do you insist on treating me

like garbage and hurting my feelings?

No. I can say it louder.

It's not the volume that's the problem, okay?

Asking someone why they treat you like garbage --

It's not a power move, okay?

Try this...

If you keep running your mouth, baby boy,

you're gonna wind up over my knee.

What does that mean?

I'm gonna spank him?

Maybe. Lena: Martin?

Hey, work on that.

The advice that you're giving Mason? Yeah?

It kinda seems like you're encouraging him

to be someone other than who he really is.

Yes. Yes, that's exactly what I'm doing.

Okay.

Uh, guys! Bus is here in 15!

♪♪

Okay, I pre-wrote your letters home.

They're multiple choice.

All you have to do is check the corresponding boxes

and I'll know how you're doing.

These are all about bodily functions.

Okay, give me the letters.

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. Get on the bus.

Bye, sweetie. Love you so much. Have fun!

We'll see you at parents' weekend! Be safe!

Hey, are you guys gonna be bored with us gone all summer?

Are you going to kill each other?

It'd be so funny if you killed each other!

We're not gonna kill each other!

It's gonna be exactly like when you are here!

Don't forget to shower!

Don't forget to have fun!

Don't forget to kill each other!

Bye! Love you guys!

Well, I'll tell you something --

I may have appreciated summer camp in the past,

but I really appreciate it this year.

Joint custody is no joke. I'm exhausted.

Now I understand why you get

so cranky all the time.

Well, thank you for not attributing it to my period.

So, that's progress.

And I have to say,

you've been really great with the kids.

Oh, thank you. You really have.

And --

Are you gonna cry?

No.

No?

You're totally gonna cry.

You cry every time.

Well, not this year.

Do you want some gum? Sure.

Okay...

Are you crying into your purse?

No. No? No!

Um, I'm gonna go in. Okay!

And, uh, let me know when you got the gum.

Okay! All right.

Bye! Bye!

♪ Keep giving me hope for a better day ♪

♪ Keep giving me love to find a way ♪

♪ Through this heaviness I feel ♪

♪ I just need someone to say everything's okay ♪

♪ Everything's okay ♪

Oh. Oh.

Hi. Hi there.

It's weird with the kids gone, huh?

It is. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm just taking out the trash.

I was just getting some air.

It's hot in there. There's no AC.

Yeah, I know.

Look, Lena, I don't see why we have to keep doing

this every-other-week thing while the kids are gone.

You know, we can just share the house for the summer.

There's central air -- It's fine.

I think we can just stick with the program,

and if I get too hot, um,

I can just...go to a cooling center.

A cooling center?

Yeah, like, um, I can ride the bus, or...

...go to my local library.

Oh. Okay.

Uh, have it your way.

But I guess we're not gonna

do our backyard Piña Colada Party this year?

Ohh, I forgot about that long-standing tradition.

Whereby we celebrate

our independence from the children?

Mm, I recall, I recall.

Hey, what if we still had the party, right,

but we just invited lots more people?

Yeah, so it isn't weird.

Yeah, like some neighbors, a couple of coworkers...

Lisa Apple. Of course Lisa Apple!

And maybe that guy who you had sex with in the car?

Maybe! Yeah. Cool.

Cool. Very cool.

"The cooling centah."

[ Jimmy Buffett's "If You Love Piña Coladas" plays ]

♪♪

Hey, thank you! Mmm.

♪♪

This is weird. Arthur: Very.

It's the same exact party they used to throw

when they were married.

Everything's the same.

Only now they get along.

Oh, so now we'll dance together?

♪ I was tired of my lady ♪ Uh

♪ We'd been together too long ♪

♪ Like a worn-out recording ♪

♪ Of a favorite song ♪

This is -- This is us! Uh-huh. Yeah.

Uh-huh.

♪ ...while she lay there sleeping ♪ Come here.

So, what, they're lovebirds now?

♪ I read the paper in bed ♪ You know, I don't think

my marriage was ever as good as their divorce.

It's like their divorce fixed the one thing

that was the problem, which is excitement.

Before, they were always arguing, there was always --

All: ♪ If you like piña coladas! ♪

♪ And getting caught in the rain ♪

♪ If you're not into yoga ♪

♪ If you have half a brain ♪

♪ If you like making love at midnight ♪

♪ In the dunes of a cape ♪ Lisa: Martin?

Hey. Hey!

♪ I'm the love that you've looked for ♪

Hey...babe? What is going on?

I thought you said this was a little party.

A little Piña Colada Party!

You thirsty? Can I get you one?

Oh, no. Thanks.

Those have more calories than a cheeseburger.

Is that true? They also have --

♪ I didn't think about my lady ♪

♪ I know that sounds kinda mean ♪

♪ But me and my old lady... ♪ I'm the old lady!

Old lady! Hey!

♪ ...same old routine ♪

Martin, I think I'm just gonna go grab some food.

I'm so sorry. Wait, no. Why

We have food here. We've got tacos and dogs, or whatever.

Yeah, but I-I just had the longest day today.

You wouldn't believe the phone call

I had to make earlier --

♪ Yes, I like piña coladas! ♪

All: ♪ And getting caught in the rain ♪

I'll call you later!

♪ I'm not much into health food ♪

♪ I am into Champagne ♪

♪ I've got to meet you by tomorrow... ♪

♪♪

Ohh.

Ahh.

Ahh.

♪♪

Oh my God, that's hot.

Hey, you know where the box fan is?

Nope.

But if you want to come in and look for it, you can.

Okay. Okay. Come on in. Come in.

You're -- All the cold air's going out.

So good. So, so good.

Oh, please don't let there be a power outage.

Well, the main house will be fine,

because of the generator.

But the garage however...

Is that for me? Uh-huh.

Little crank-radio action.

We got weather, flashlight...

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Are you sure you don't want to stay here?

Just until the temperature breaks.

Because selfishly,

I am not looking forward to my week out there.

What do you think Lisa Apple would say?

Is that what you're worried about?

Lisa Apple? Well, I wouldn't like it if I were her.

But you're not her, okay?

And I can guarantee you that she doesn't care.

She's totally cool... like this house.

[ News and music stations overlap ]

Okay, I'll stay in Mae's room.

But just until the heat wave is over.

You won't even know I'm here.

So roomies? Roomies!

♪ Starts to burning ♪

Get back over here. Ahh!

♪ And I'm filled with desire ♪

♪ Could it be a devil in me ♪

♪ Or is this the way love's supposed to be? ♪

♪ It's like a heat wave ♪ ♪ Heat wave ♪

♪ Burning in my heart ♪ ♪ It's like a heat wave ♪

♪ I can't keep from crying♪ ♪ It's like a heat wave ♪

♪ I don't have to sleep in the garage ♪

♪ Ba ba-ba-ba da ♪

♪♪

Hey, Lena?

Hweugh?

Ah.

I don't still buy you deodorant.

It comes on its own. We have a subscription.

Well, thank you.

♪♪

Wow.

Have some perspiration

That's a lot.

Lisa's taking me to some, like, hipster venue

to see some music with her friends.

That sounds fun.

What are you up to?

I am gonna exist in my own skin.

Huh.

Oh, and maybe stalk the camp website

for photos of our kids.

Oh, hey, if you find any, will you post them?

For sure.

Is that what you're wearing?

Yeah. It's hot out.

Okay, you look like Baryshnikov.

Baryshnikov's a very sexy man.

I think maybe just a plain tee.

Okay...

You know what my dad said?

He thinks that our divorce is better than our marriage.

Camille agreed with him.

Well, that's not fair.

Well, maybe it's true.

Mm. More equitable division of labor?

Newfound appreciation for what the other party

brings to the table?

Sex...

just not with each other?

Hey, I tried!

Ah, I never could get it right with you.

I could never ask for what I really wanted.

I was too hung up on the minutiae.

The minutiae?

Poor choice of words.

♪ Don't stop, never stop believing ♪

Lisa: I can't believe you're out on a week night.

I am DVRing so many things right now.

Hey, thank you for doing this with me.

Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss this for the world.

Woman: Lisa!

Ahh! Hi, guys!

You look so good!

Okay, babe... Yes.

...this is Gemma, Rex, and Hashish.

Hashish?

Everybody, this is Martin.

Martin? Uh-huh.

Can I get you guys a drink? Lavender Collins.

And he'll have a Pear Ginger Bellini.

Can I get an Elderflower Lime Martini?

Elderflower?

Thanks, babe! Mwuah!

[ Deap Vally's "Royal Jelly" plays ]

♪♪

♪ Oh, no, ooh, Noel ♪

♪ There ain't no light at the end of the tunnel ♪

♪ Oh, oh, don't ya know ♪

♪ There ain't no gold at the end of the rainbow ♪

♪ Oh, no, oh, no, Noel ♪

♪ There ain't no light at the end of the tunnel ♪

♪ Oh, oh, don't ya know ♪

♪ There ain't no gold... ♪

♪ If you wanna be Queen Bee ♪

♪♪

Here's your beer, boss.

Buck-twenty-seven. A buck

Want to start a tab? No, I-I don't want a tab.

♪ If you wanna be Miss Thing ♪

God.

♪ Then you better start hustling ♪

Excuse me!

Out of the way!

Excuse me! Coming through!

♪ Noel, know how you feel ♪ Guys, I'm coming in.

Coming in. Oh, hey.

Ahh!

Girl: Ha! Selfie!

Ahh! Okay!

Heyyy!

♪♪

So...you're moving back in together?

Temporarily.

And you're dancing together at the stupid colada party.

Stupid colada party?

Come on, Lena, you know the only good thing

about that party is the chorus.

What exactly is going on?

Nothing!

We're roomies!

Roomies?

What happened to the woman in your painting

and her

She is still on her journey.

But when she gets home from her journey,

she has a roomie. Stop saying "roomie"!

No can do.

Because I am one. And I have one.

I just hope that you realize

that the only reason that you and your "roomie"

are getting along so well is because

you no longer have any expectations of one another.

The opposite of our dynamic.

And if you were still together,

things would be exactly the same --

you would focus on the kids, he would focus on himself,

and then you would punish him for making you feel invisible.

You're so smart and sexy.

You should be a psychiatrist.

Thanks, hon. You, too. Yeah?

Oh...

You know what? I have to let you go.

I just heard the front door,

and I'm gonna pretend like I'm asleep

so that my roomie doesn't feel weird

about having sex in the next room-y.

Bye.

How rad was that?

It was so rad.

So rad! So rad.

You know what I'm in the mood for?

A Gatorade and a good night's sleep?

No... Yes.

...old man.

We have this entire house to ourselves,

and I intend to use it.

Ohh! Aggh!

I'm good, I'm good.

That's good. That's hot.

You like it? So hot.

Mm-hmm.

Hm?

Hoo-ooh!

Whoa, whoa. Heh.

Oh, there you go.

Ope, ope, ope, ope.

Chopper 7, we have liftoff.

There we go!

Oh, yeah.

Oh...yeah.

That's good. That's good, yep. Sexy.

You're such an old man.

Sexy, sexy. Very sexy.

Yeah?

Not so sexy.

It's too high. Are you sure?

It's above your belly button, yeah.

Ow. Ow.

Ayy-- Ow! Oh, my God.

I believe you scratched my cornea.

Aww!

Oop, oop. Sorry!

No, I'm okay.

I'm okay, I'm okay.

Babe, you are so sexy I can't even stand it.

But I am incredibly dehydrated,

so if maybe I could just get some water,

meet you upstairs?

I'll get it. Okay.

Meet you up there.

Oh, ohh.

Ope, oh, there she goes!

♪ Ba da-da da-da da-da! ♪ There she goes.

♪♪

Seriously?

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you.

What happened? Is everything okay?

Nothing. I just startled Lisa.

She's not wearing her glasses,

so I don't think she knew it was me.

Lisa: Ah, ha-ha, no.

I thought it was your week in the garage, actually. So.

Okay, look, look.

This is all my fault, okay?

I forgot to tell you there's no AC out there,

so we decided --

What -- What -- What is this?

Is this new? I haven't seen this before.

It's not brand new. It's new to you.

Lisa!

Wait.

Lisa... Lisa, hey.

It's the middle of the night. Where are you going?

Did you really think the three of us

were just gonna shack up together?

Come on, Lisa. This is a big house.

Don't be crazy. I am not being crazy.

In fact, this is the most sane I've ever been.

Lisa...

You forgot your glasses.

Hey.

Lisa.

Hey, hey, hey!

Come on. Lisa, come on.

Look, you need these to drive.

Don't you?

Yes, I do.

I can't believe you're this angry.

Look, we're only doing this because of the heat.

You're only doing it 'cause of the heat,

you're only doing it 'cause of the kids,

you're only doing it because you're upside down on the house.

You have a million reasons why you refuse

to let go of your ex-wife,

except the only one that makes sense --

You're still in love with her.

Cut it out, all right?

Don't think I didn't notice

you spent the entire night on your phone

liking pictures of Lena and the kids.

It's very obvious where your heart is, signor.

And it's not with me.

"Signor"? Come on, Li-- That's -- That's not even...

That's not even true.

Lisa...

Lisa.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Lena?

Lena?

Martin. Yeah? Hey.

Hey. Hey. Is everything okay with --

Do you know what this is?

A turtle?

It's Josh.

Our turtle.

Are you sure? I'm sure.

I think...

I think it's a sign.

Josh is? Josh had his chance.

Josh was handed his freedom.

And he could have gone anywhere and done anything.

And you know what Josh did?

Josh came home.

Josh...

wants to be home.

He does? He does.

♪ Hello, my old heart ♪

♪ It's been so long ♪

♪ Since I've given you away ♪

Um...

Let's take Josh off my hair.

What? I don't want Josh in my hair.

Oh. Okay. Put Josh on the ground.

Mm-hmm.

♪ ...the walls I've built around you ♪

Okay. Go. ♪ To keep you safe ♪

Oh...oh...I thought we were roomies.

We are not roomies.

When we were married, we were roomies.

Well, in that case, we have a big problem on our hands.

We have a very, very big problem --

Hey.

I wanted you to look at me.

I felt like you stopped seeing me.

I see you.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Martin: Aah! Lena: Oh! What the --

So, I'm sorry, we're buying all of the things

on our housekeeper's wish

Is it -- is it her birthday or something?

It's not stuff for her.

It's stuff she needs to clean our house.

Oh, hi.

Ohh--

Hey. Hey!

What --

I...

It's....

It's really good to see you guys.

Okay.

You know what this means?

Yes.

Lisa Apple's housekeeper is pregnant.