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1
00:00:59,447 --> 00:01:02,359
You will not believe
what happened to to me.
2
00:01:02,447 --> 00:01:05,803
I'm driving home,
listening to my yodelling tapes,
3
00:01:05,887 --> 00:01:09,641
when the driver behind me
starts furiously honking his horn.
4
00:01:09,727 --> 00:01:14,482
I decide to be a lady and let him pass.
What does he do?
5
00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:16,319
Pulls alongside,
6
00:01:16,407 --> 00:01:19,080
shouts obscenities
that'd make Joan Rivers blush
7
00:01:19,167 --> 00:01:21,442
and then speeds off down the street.
8
00:01:21,527 --> 00:01:25,202
- Rose, I got my own problems.
- Your own problems?
9
00:01:25,287 --> 00:01:27,198
I can't find my lucky handkerchief.
10
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:31,041
- Lucky handkerchief?
- What are you? A mynah bird?
11
00:01:32,247 --> 00:01:36,525
I'm getting my kit together
for a bingo game and it's not here.
12
00:01:36,607 --> 00:01:39,838
Playing without it
is like Kareem without his goggles.
13
00:01:39,927 --> 00:01:42,646
I'm sorry, Sophia, I'm just so upset.
14
00:01:42,727 --> 00:01:46,322
You would feel a lot better
if you had shouted back.
15
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:51,162
I couldn't do that.
I get so flustered in those situations.
16
00:01:51,247 --> 00:01:54,637
A well-chosen gesture
can be very effective.
17
00:01:54,727 --> 00:01:56,718
Something like this.
18
00:02:04,127 --> 00:02:06,243
Sophia, isn't that obscene?
19
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:09,399
No. They mean, "good health,"
"have a nice day"
20
00:02:09,487 --> 00:02:12,206
and "would you like to squeeze
my concertina?"
21
00:02:14,287 --> 00:02:16,243
You spent the afternoon together.
22
00:02:16,327 --> 00:02:19,603
He didn't ask you out?
What did you do wrong?
23
00:02:19,687 --> 00:02:22,804
- Who didn't ask you out?
- You got a phone book?
24
00:02:22,887 --> 00:02:27,085
Frank Leahy, the teacher I've been
working with on the youth fair.
25
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:30,125
Two weeks
and he hasn't asked her out yet.
26
00:02:30,207 --> 00:02:32,323
I don't know him know him.
27
00:02:32,407 --> 00:02:34,796
We have spent
exactly two Saturday mornings
28
00:02:34,887 --> 00:02:37,355
building display booths
and painting signs.
29
00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:39,358
We're hardly close.
30
00:02:39,447 --> 00:02:44,043
You could be, if you'd ask him out.
He's too shy to ask you.
31
00:02:44,127 --> 00:02:46,118
Maybe he just doesn't like her.
32
00:02:51,447 --> 00:02:53,358
Thank you, Rose.
33
00:02:53,447 --> 00:02:55,438
Incidentally, you look fat.
34
00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:02,757
The time for subtlety has passed.
35
00:03:02,847 --> 00:03:05,441
If you want this man, ask him out.
36
00:03:05,527 --> 00:03:10,123
I don't know. I feel so awkward
asking a man out on a date.
37
00:03:10,207 --> 00:03:13,756
You could invite him here to dinner,
wouldn't seem as pushy.
38
00:03:13,847 --> 00:03:16,805
Great idea,
then we can all check him out.
39
00:03:16,887 --> 00:03:20,436
- I don't think I can do it.
- Of course you can.
40
00:03:20,527 --> 00:03:22,882
You be Frank. I'll be you. OK?
41
00:03:24,207 --> 00:03:26,118
Why, Frank,
42
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,118
you know I've been thinking,
43
00:03:28,207 --> 00:03:33,361
this is our third Saturday and I don't
even know what you like to eat.
44
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:35,881
Come over for dinner
this Saturday night
45
00:03:35,967 --> 00:03:38,197
and let me find out what
46
00:03:38,287 --> 00:03:40,278
whets your appetite.
47
00:03:48,567 --> 00:03:51,798
And what are you serving
for dessert, Blanche, penicillin?
48
00:03:54,247 --> 00:03:56,158
I'll do it my own way.
49
00:03:56,247 --> 00:03:59,239
If you do, you'd better use
Jane Fonda's body,
50
00:03:59,327 --> 00:04:02,319
otherwise, it'll be just
four of us for dinner.
51
00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:32,198
Frank...
52
00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:36,643
Frank, I'm sorry.
I was just going to say
53
00:04:36,727 --> 00:04:39,958
that the sign seemed
a little high on one side.
54
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,038
- How about a coffee break?
- Sure.
55
00:04:44,047 --> 00:04:47,323
When you get the chance,
would you fix that sign?
56
00:04:47,407 --> 00:04:49,716
Seems a little high on one side.
57
00:04:49,807 --> 00:04:51,718
Yeah, sure, Frank.
58
00:04:51,807 --> 00:04:55,243
I notice a lot of your students
call you "Frank."
59
00:04:55,327 --> 00:04:57,761
- You don't approve?
- No. On the contrary.
60
00:04:57,847 --> 00:05:00,042
Anything other than "Yo, Teach."
61
00:05:00,127 --> 00:05:02,038
Is an educational breakthrough.
62
00:05:02,127 --> 00:05:04,357
Formal titles can be very intimidating.
63
00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:07,041
This way, I'm just one of the guys.
64
00:05:07,127 --> 00:05:09,357
You think a lot of these kids.
65
00:05:09,447 --> 00:05:12,041
- So do you.
- I do, but...
66
00:05:12,127 --> 00:05:14,721
I sense a special dedication from you.
67
00:05:14,807 --> 00:05:16,718
- It's nice.
- Thanks, Dorothy.
68
00:05:16,807 --> 00:05:19,037
I've been at this a long time.
69
00:05:19,127 --> 00:05:22,358
I know their families,
been to their homes for dinner.
70
00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:25,166
Really?
You've been to their homes for dinner?
71
00:05:25,247 --> 00:05:28,557
They spread a newspaper
on the floor for me.
72
00:05:29,567 --> 00:05:31,478
I'm kidding. You seem so amazed.
73
00:05:31,567 --> 00:05:35,480
I'm not amazed. I just think
it's nice that you do that.
74
00:05:35,567 --> 00:05:38,843
I just assumed that you knew
that I ate dinner.
75
00:05:38,927 --> 00:05:42,203
It's nice that you go
to people's homes for dinner.
76
00:05:42,287 --> 00:05:45,199
How would you like to go home with me?
77
00:05:45,287 --> 00:05:47,437
I mean, for dinner. Next week?
78
00:05:47,527 --> 00:05:49,757
My roommates would love to meet you.
79
00:05:49,847 --> 00:05:52,156
- What's a good night?
- Bingo night.
80
00:05:52,247 --> 00:05:55,239
Or I'd have to introduce you
to my mother.
81
00:06:01,807 --> 00:06:05,720
But the table looked fine,
right where we always keep it.
82
00:06:05,807 --> 00:06:08,719
But with her complexion,
those yellow garden lights
83
00:06:08,807 --> 00:06:11,116
make Dorothy look like Eric Severeid.
84
00:06:13,007 --> 00:06:15,919
Look out, St Dominic's.
Sophia feels lucky tonight.
85
00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:18,282
Tonight's the big bingo game, isn't it?
86
00:06:18,367 --> 00:06:21,598
The biggest. I got
my lucky handkerchief. I can't lose.
87
00:06:21,687 --> 00:06:24,360
- Where did you find it?
- In my bra.
88
00:06:25,807 --> 00:06:29,356
In your bra? What was your
lucky handkerchief doing in there?
89
00:06:29,447 --> 00:06:31,438
I was blowing my breasts, Rose.
90
00:06:37,927 --> 00:06:40,964
To give me cleavage,
to turn on the butcher
91
00:06:41,047 --> 00:06:43,356
to get a decent piece of veal.
92
00:06:44,407 --> 00:06:46,318
Now, if you'll excuse me,
93
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:49,763
there's an electric weed whacker
with my name on it.
94
00:06:52,807 --> 00:06:58,723
When we go out there for dinner, sit on
the far side and I'll sit next to you.
95
00:06:58,807 --> 00:07:02,083
- Why?
- In case anyone wants to play footsie.
96
00:07:02,167 --> 00:07:05,842
That sounds like fun.
I haven't played footsie in years.
97
00:07:06,847 --> 00:07:08,803
- Charlie never...
- Rose.
98
00:07:08,887 --> 00:07:10,878
Frank and Dorothy might play footsie.
99
00:07:15,087 --> 00:07:17,840
- How do I look?
- Beautiful.
100
00:07:17,927 --> 00:07:19,918
Go back and change.
101
00:07:20,927 --> 00:07:24,840
That might be alright
for a gay funeral in New Orleans,
102
00:07:24,927 --> 00:07:27,839
but it's too... it's much too subtle
for this evening.
103
00:07:27,927 --> 00:07:29,838
Put on something flashy.
104
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:33,522
- Flashy. Something colourful.
- That's really not me, Blanche.
105
00:07:33,607 --> 00:07:36,917
I know, honey,
but take a chance. Be a woman.
106
00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:40,879
It's an awful lot to ask, but I'll try.
107
00:07:40,967 --> 00:07:42,002
Go.
108
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:44,726
Rose, come on.
Let's go see about supper.
109
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:50,762
Don't you think you might be pushing
Dorothy a little hard?
110
00:07:50,847 --> 00:07:54,760
No, and I need all your help.
She needs your help, too.
111
00:07:54,847 --> 00:07:56,758
She won't have too many chances.
112
00:07:56,847 --> 00:07:59,156
She doesn't have my beauty or your...
113
00:08:05,007 --> 00:08:06,998
We'll help you next week.
114
00:08:09,007 --> 00:08:12,556
The point is she glows
every time she speaks his name.
115
00:08:12,647 --> 00:08:14,603
Do you think Dorothy's in love?
116
00:08:14,687 --> 00:08:16,917
She's very definitely smitten.
117
00:08:17,007 --> 00:08:22,320
With help from us, she can fire
Cupid's arrow into the tushie of love.
118
00:08:23,327 --> 00:08:25,318
The "tushie of love"?
119
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,360
For some strange reason,
I find that provocative.
120
00:08:30,407 --> 00:08:32,762
You really ought to date more, Rose.
121
00:08:33,807 --> 00:08:35,718
That must be him.
122
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,765
Heat up the rolls
and cool yourself down.
123
00:08:43,207 --> 00:08:45,437
Good evening.
124
00:08:57,047 --> 00:08:58,958
Good evening, Father.
125
00:08:59,047 --> 00:09:01,197
This must be an important cause.
126
00:09:01,287 --> 00:09:04,199
Don't you usually make the nuns
ask for money?
127
00:09:04,287 --> 00:09:06,198
I'll get my purse.
128
00:09:06,287 --> 00:09:09,324
I'm Frank. I'm here to see Dorothy.
129
00:09:13,167 --> 00:09:15,158
You're the hunk?
130
00:09:17,647 --> 00:09:19,763
I mean... Forgive me, Father.
131
00:09:19,847 --> 00:09:22,202
That is, forgive my language,
132
00:09:22,287 --> 00:09:25,120
not in your official capacity.
133
00:09:25,207 --> 00:09:27,118
I'm not even a Catholic.
134
00:09:27,207 --> 00:09:30,199
I'm a Baptist
and you can't forgive us Baptists.
135
00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,558
Sweet Jesus, why am I babbling?
136
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:43,797
I meant that in all due reverence.
137
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:46,481
I never take the Lord's name in vain.
138
00:09:46,567 --> 00:09:49,240
God. Now I'm lying to a priest.
139
00:09:52,847 --> 00:09:55,805
Why don't you come on in and sit down.
140
00:09:55,887 --> 00:09:58,606
I'm Blanche. Would you get the door?
141
00:10:00,807 --> 00:10:03,401
Dorothy's told me
a great deal about you.
142
00:10:03,487 --> 00:10:07,366
Well, she left out
one itty-bitty detail about you.
143
00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,358
That I'm a priest?
144
00:10:09,447 --> 00:10:11,438
She didn't know.
145
00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:15,439
What'd she think?
You were just a boring dresser?
146
00:10:16,487 --> 00:10:19,126
She's just never seen me
in cleric's clothing.
147
00:10:19,207 --> 00:10:22,836
I didn't know you priests
could take your clothes off.
148
00:10:24,647 --> 00:10:27,878
We do a lot of things real people do.
149
00:10:27,967 --> 00:10:29,958
Except for one very important thing.
150
00:10:32,447 --> 00:10:36,122
Boy, is that gonna put
a hitch in Dorothy's plans.
151
00:10:37,607 --> 00:10:39,518
Hello. I'm Rose Nylund.
152
00:10:39,607 --> 00:10:41,518
You must be Frank.
153
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:45,566
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Thank you. Nice to meet you.
154
00:10:45,647 --> 00:10:48,719
- Dorothy's talked about you for weeks.
- Rose.
155
00:10:48,807 --> 00:10:51,367
Every time she mentions
your name, she glows.
156
00:10:51,447 --> 00:10:53,358
- Rose.
- I think she's very smitten.
157
00:10:53,447 --> 00:10:54,641
Rose.
158
00:10:55,687 --> 00:10:58,042
- He's a priest, isn't he?
- Yes, Rose.
159
00:11:05,967 --> 00:11:08,720
I'm so sorry Hell Town was cancelled.
160
00:11:12,727 --> 00:11:14,763
Frank, I'm sorry I...
161
00:11:16,447 --> 00:11:18,756
Please tell me that's a Nehru jacket.
162
00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:21,923
No, it's not.
163
00:11:22,007 --> 00:11:25,158
Rose, let's go heat up the lasagne.
Come on.
164
00:11:29,807 --> 00:11:32,719
Why didn't you tell me
it was Father Leahy?
165
00:11:32,807 --> 00:11:35,765
- I assumed you knew.
- No, I didn't.
166
00:11:35,847 --> 00:11:37,997
I mean, frankly, I'm...
167
00:11:39,007 --> 00:11:41,840
- I'm a little embarrassed.
- Me, too.
168
00:11:43,207 --> 00:11:45,880
We can still be friends, can't we?
169
00:11:45,967 --> 00:11:49,562
Of course we can. I'm glad you're here.
170
00:11:49,647 --> 00:11:51,638
Yeah, so am I.
171
00:11:55,487 --> 00:11:57,398
You look lovely tonight.
172
00:11:57,487 --> 00:12:00,797
I look like the mother
of a Solid Gold dancer.
173
00:12:06,207 --> 00:12:08,960
Dorothy, I'm sorry
about this misunderstanding.
174
00:12:09,047 --> 00:12:11,322
I know. I know. It's alright.
175
00:12:11,407 --> 00:12:14,319
OK, everybody,
we're ready to serve the appetisers.
176
00:12:14,407 --> 00:12:17,399
Come on, Frank.
We're eating out on the lanai.
177
00:12:23,487 --> 00:12:25,717
Now, where am I supposed to sit?
178
00:12:25,807 --> 00:12:29,277
Where you damn well please.
What difference does it make?
179
00:12:29,367 --> 00:12:31,358
Go.
180
00:12:36,247 --> 00:12:40,763
So first you were a teacher
and then you became a priest.
181
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:43,805
First, I went to medical school
for a year.
182
00:12:43,887 --> 00:12:46,879
Then I quit and became
an assistant basketball coach,
183
00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,561
then a teacher,
then came the priesthood.
184
00:12:49,647 --> 00:12:52,081
What do you think you'll do next?
185
00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:57,957
Anybody care for more coffee?
I have another pot brewing.
186
00:12:58,047 --> 00:13:00,641
Let me give you a hand. Excuse me.
187
00:13:00,727 --> 00:13:02,718
You know, black is your colour.
188
00:13:05,047 --> 00:13:08,244
Did that influence your decision
to enter the priesthood?
189
00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:13,078
It wasn't the evening I'd planned,
190
00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,761
but it's turned out
to be pleasant enough.
191
00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:18,407
Frank is a very special person,
isn't he?
192
00:13:18,487 --> 00:13:22,241
Yes, he is and he obviously thinks
the same about you.
193
00:13:22,327 --> 00:13:24,397
Of course he does. We're friends.
194
00:13:24,487 --> 00:13:26,842
Dorothy, I hesitate to say this, but...
195
00:13:26,927 --> 00:13:31,876
Something in Frank's eyes says he
thinks of you as more than a friend.
196
00:13:31,967 --> 00:13:33,958
Blanche, the man is a priest.
197
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:35,958
The man's a man.
198
00:13:36,047 --> 00:13:37,958
I'm not listening to this.
199
00:13:38,047 --> 00:13:42,757
I was in a similar situation once.
He was a man of the cloth.
200
00:13:42,847 --> 00:13:45,759
Totally dedicated
to his vocation or so he said,
201
00:13:45,847 --> 00:13:49,123
but his eyes told me
he was dedicated to me.
202
00:13:49,207 --> 00:13:51,118
We both knew it was wrong
203
00:13:51,207 --> 00:13:53,118
and we fought our feelings
204
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:56,597
with every bone in our hot,
longing, writhing bodies.
205
00:13:58,047 --> 00:14:02,723
It was just too much for us
and we checked into a Best Western.
206
00:14:06,087 --> 00:14:08,317
You had an affair with a priest?
207
00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:10,921
I said, "a man of the cloth."
208
00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:13,362
He was a fabric salesman.
209
00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:19,444
We never made love again,
but he did cover my La-Z-Boy for free.
210
00:14:19,527 --> 00:14:21,438
Wonderful, Blanche.
211
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:25,440
Something in his eyes says
he wants you, in the biblical sense.
212
00:14:25,527 --> 00:14:27,677
I will not listen to this.
213
00:14:28,727 --> 00:14:30,718
The coffee's ready.
214
00:14:35,247 --> 00:14:37,886
Ma, the bingo game's over already?
215
00:14:37,967 --> 00:14:40,527
It wasn't a game. It was a travesty.
216
00:14:40,607 --> 00:14:44,122
They call four lousy numbers and, boom,
Gloria's a winner.
217
00:14:44,207 --> 00:14:46,004
Six more numbers,
218
00:14:46,087 --> 00:14:48,965
Kessler's jumping up and down,
shouting, "I'm rich."
219
00:14:49,047 --> 00:14:53,325
Of course she also does this
on the boardwalk to attract men.
220
00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:56,756
I think the whole thing was fixed.
221
00:14:56,847 --> 00:15:00,476
That's why I'm gonna ask
Hugh Downs to investigate.
222
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:06,323
I guess they sent you over
to shut me up.
223
00:15:08,327 --> 00:15:11,876
Ma, this is Father Leahy.
He had dinner with us tonight.
224
00:15:11,967 --> 00:15:13,878
Pleased to meet you.
225
00:15:13,967 --> 00:15:16,003
What happened to your date?
226
00:15:17,007 --> 00:15:18,998
Father Leahy is her date.
227
00:15:20,007 --> 00:15:21,998
Come here.
228
00:15:30,487 --> 00:15:33,081
Dorothy, sometimes
a mother gets a little busy
229
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:36,842
and forgets to tell her daughter
everything she needs to know.
230
00:15:38,127 --> 00:15:42,166
So I'm telling you now.
Don't date a priest. It's bad luck.
231
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:45,078
- Ma...
- Trust me on this one.
232
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:48,477
What happened to me at bingo tonight
was no accident.
233
00:15:50,527 --> 00:15:54,122
I didn't realise how late it was.
I should be going.
234
00:15:54,207 --> 00:15:56,767
Thank you, all. I had a wonderful time.
235
00:15:56,847 --> 00:15:59,759
I'll see you on Saturday
at the youth fair.
236
00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:02,919
Dinner before then?
Something I want to talk about.
237
00:16:03,007 --> 00:16:04,918
Sure. What is it?
238
00:16:05,007 --> 00:16:09,125
Thanks to you, I'm on the verge
of making an important decision.
239
00:16:09,207 --> 00:16:11,402
I'm thinking of leaving the Church.
240
00:16:11,487 --> 00:16:13,603
Good night.
241
00:16:29,207 --> 00:16:31,118
I thought I heard you up.
242
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,767
I couldn't sleep.
I had a horrible nightmare.
243
00:16:33,847 --> 00:16:37,203
Tell it to me.
I'm awful good at interpreting dreams.
244
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:42,325
I was a contestant
on The Dating Game and I won.
245
00:16:43,327 --> 00:16:46,239
I went to meet the bachelor
who picked me
246
00:16:46,327 --> 00:16:48,363
and it was the Pope.
247
00:16:50,767 --> 00:16:54,726
That is a tough one.
Where did you go on the date?
248
00:16:54,807 --> 00:16:58,038
Forget it, forget it.
Good night, Blanche.
249
00:16:59,047 --> 00:17:01,959
What are you doing?
I thought you were asleep.
250
00:17:02,047 --> 00:17:05,517
Provisions. I figured
we'd be up all night talking.
251
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,041
- I'm going.
- She don't feel like talking.
252
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:11,199
But I got chocolate
macadamia-nut cheesecake
253
00:17:11,287 --> 00:17:13,198
and rum-raisin ice cream.
254
00:17:13,287 --> 00:17:15,801
Alright. Start cutting. You scoop.
255
00:17:15,887 --> 00:17:17,878
That's my girl.
256
00:17:18,967 --> 00:17:21,242
Did you decide what you're gonna do?
257
00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:22,396
No.
258
00:17:22,487 --> 00:17:27,686
My luck. The first really
wonderful guy I've met in a long time
259
00:17:27,767 --> 00:17:30,998
and he turns out to have
a more serious involvement.
260
00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:33,760
- With whom?
- Pam Dawber.
261
00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:35,758
The Church.
262
00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:38,202
Or he did until he met me.
263
00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:41,597
Take the religious aspect
out of this and it's romantic.
264
00:17:41,687 --> 00:17:46,158
Giving up everything for the woman
he loves, like the Duke of Windsor.
265
00:17:46,247 --> 00:17:48,920
Or the story
of Rose and Charlie Nylund.
266
00:17:50,207 --> 00:17:52,118
When I think of one,
267
00:17:52,207 --> 00:17:54,198
I automatically think of the other.
268
00:17:55,767 --> 00:17:57,883
When Charlie and I started dating,
269
00:17:57,967 --> 00:18:00,276
I felt his folks didn't like me.
270
00:18:00,367 --> 00:18:04,201
That's when I decided
to get to the bottom of things
271
00:18:04,287 --> 00:18:08,041
and the ancient feud between
the Nylunds and the Gorkleknabygens.
272
00:18:10,087 --> 00:18:12,317
That was my mother's maiden name.
273
00:18:12,407 --> 00:18:14,477
Gorkleknabygen?
274
00:18:14,567 --> 00:18:17,639
Originally, it was
Gorkleknabygen-H�ffst�dlerfeil.
275
00:18:17,727 --> 00:18:19,638
But they shortened it.
276
00:18:19,727 --> 00:18:22,719
Most of my mother's family
were in show business.
277
00:18:25,927 --> 00:18:30,762
Anyway, when Charlie told them we were
gonna get married, they forbade it.
278
00:18:30,847 --> 00:18:33,441
They said they'd disown him
if he married...
279
00:18:33,527 --> 00:18:36,280
- A Gorkleknabygen.
- Right.
280
00:18:36,367 --> 00:18:39,757
He'd lose his share
of the family tile grout fortune.
281
00:18:42,127 --> 00:18:46,325
He didn't care. He told them
he loved me more than grout.
282
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:51,558
Must have been a tough choice
for old Charlie.
283
00:18:52,647 --> 00:18:56,560
I thought I heard voices.
Only two of them are God-fearing.
284
00:18:57,727 --> 00:19:00,764
Ma, get off my back. I feel bad enough.
285
00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:04,476
What about me?
81 years, I've eaten fish on a Friday,
286
00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:07,479
even when the Pope said
I didn't have to.
287
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:10,798
I go to Mass, I light candles,
and for what?
288
00:19:10,887 --> 00:19:16,883
To be flushed down the toilet, because
my daughter dates Father Happy Pants.
289
00:19:19,247 --> 00:19:21,522
Ma, you're not making it any easier.
290
00:19:21,607 --> 00:19:23,518
Look, Dorothy, in the end,
291
00:19:23,607 --> 00:19:26,201
only you can decide
what's right for you.
292
00:19:26,287 --> 00:19:28,926
Whatever decision it is,
I'll stand by you.
293
00:19:29,007 --> 00:19:31,760
- Thanks, Ma.
- Just remember,
294
00:19:31,847 --> 00:19:35,157
make the wrong decision,
you'll burn in hell forever.
295
00:19:39,207 --> 00:19:41,198
Sleep tight, pussycat.
296
00:20:06,527 --> 00:20:10,122
I'm not here to confess,
I did that a day ago.
297
00:20:10,207 --> 00:20:14,598
At my age, how much can I sin?
I had an impure thought?
298
00:20:14,687 --> 00:20:16,917
I'd kill to have an impure thought.
299
00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,918
That would be two sins.
300
00:20:19,007 --> 00:20:21,282
But now I'm telling you your business.
301
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:25,599
Let me get to the real point.
It's about you and my daughter.
302
00:20:25,687 --> 00:20:28,679
I know everything
and, frankly, I'm not thrilled.
303
00:20:31,687 --> 00:20:34,121
If you wanna leave the priesthood,
304
00:20:34,207 --> 00:20:36,277
that's between you and the Vatican,
305
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:40,121
but you should know about Dorothy,
before you get carried away.
306
00:20:40,207 --> 00:20:42,516
So, Frank,
have you made your decision?
307
00:20:42,607 --> 00:20:46,998
I can serve the Church better
as a teaching priest at St Helen's,
308
00:20:47,087 --> 00:20:49,442
instead of a parish priest here.
309
00:20:49,527 --> 00:20:52,200
We're gonna miss you around here.
310
00:20:52,287 --> 00:20:55,563
Look, I know priests are men
and they have urges.
311
00:20:55,647 --> 00:20:57,763
What is it, lust? It'll pass.
312
00:20:57,847 --> 00:21:00,839
I do without. You get used to it.
313
00:21:02,087 --> 00:21:04,078
Get cable TV.
314
00:21:05,527 --> 00:21:07,916
- Lots of luck.
- Thanks.
315
00:21:08,927 --> 00:21:10,918
- Frank.
- Dorothy?
316
00:21:11,007 --> 00:21:14,761
- What are you doing here?
- Free time between classes.
317
00:21:14,847 --> 00:21:17,122
So you drove 18 miles across town?
318
00:21:17,207 --> 00:21:21,405
OK. I wanted to talk to you.
I didn't want to wait.
319
00:21:22,567 --> 00:21:24,797
The thought that I might be responsible
320
00:21:24,887 --> 00:21:27,481
for the decision you're making
is too much.
321
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:31,480
This is crazy. It's not like you pushed
me towards this decision.
322
00:21:31,567 --> 00:21:34,161
You didn't know
I was thinking about it.
323
00:21:34,247 --> 00:21:37,284
Blanche did. She saw it in your eyes.
324
00:21:38,287 --> 00:21:41,165
- My eyes?
- You're a very special person.
325
00:21:41,247 --> 00:21:45,843
I knew the moment I met you
and you felt the same about me.
326
00:21:45,927 --> 00:21:48,487
I can't tell you
how flattering that is.
327
00:21:48,567 --> 00:21:52,082
I mean,
at this stage of a woman's life,
328
00:21:52,167 --> 00:21:55,603
to have someone instantly feel
that spark for her
329
00:21:55,687 --> 00:21:57,598
is a dream come true.
330
00:21:57,687 --> 00:22:00,759
Maybe in the dream
he wouldn't be a priest,
331
00:22:00,847 --> 00:22:03,759
but that doesn't make it
any the less flattering,
332
00:22:03,847 --> 00:22:06,839
but it does make it
a lot more complicated.
333
00:22:08,047 --> 00:22:11,278
So, Frank, you cannot
go through with this.
334
00:22:11,367 --> 00:22:13,437
- Dorothy.
- No, no, no.
335
00:22:13,527 --> 00:22:16,360
It's a mistake
that we would both regret
336
00:22:16,447 --> 00:22:18,358
for the rest of our lives.
337
00:22:18,447 --> 00:22:20,358
No matter how strongly you feel,
338
00:22:20,447 --> 00:22:23,405
I cannot let you leave
the priesthood for me.
339
00:22:23,487 --> 00:22:25,398
What?
340
00:22:25,487 --> 00:22:28,684
I understand how hurt you must feel.
341
00:22:30,247 --> 00:22:32,602
Alright, maybe I don't understand
exactly.
342
00:22:33,607 --> 00:22:36,565
I'm sorry, Dorothy,
but our relationship seems to be
343
00:22:36,647 --> 00:22:38,763
one misunderstanding after another.
344
00:22:38,847 --> 00:22:40,565
Misunderstanding?
345
00:22:40,647 --> 00:22:42,558
I'm not leaving the priesthood.
346
00:22:42,647 --> 00:22:45,639
I'm leaving the Church, this church.
347
00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:48,878
But... Well...
348
00:22:50,007 --> 00:22:52,077
If you're not leaving the priesthood,
349
00:22:52,167 --> 00:22:55,398
then I just made
a complete ass of myself.
350
00:22:55,487 --> 00:22:58,843
Excuse my language, Father,
but, as an English teacher,
351
00:22:58,927 --> 00:23:01,919
I can tell you that's the most
appropriate description.
352
00:23:02,007 --> 00:23:04,760
- No, it's not.
- How can you say that?
353
00:23:04,847 --> 00:23:08,601
I created an entire relationship
in my imagination.
354
00:23:08,687 --> 00:23:10,598
It wasn't in your imagination.
355
00:23:10,687 --> 00:23:12,962
There is something special between us.
356
00:23:13,047 --> 00:23:15,003
We appreciate each other.
357
00:23:15,087 --> 00:23:20,161
You could help me see where I could do
most good, as a teaching priest.
358
00:23:20,247 --> 00:23:23,239
It's taken me a little while,
359
00:23:23,327 --> 00:23:25,841
but I think I've got it.
360
00:23:25,927 --> 00:23:28,487
Alright.
Listen, your silence is deafening.
361
00:23:28,567 --> 00:23:32,845
I didn't wanna whip this one out,
but I have no choice.
362
00:23:32,927 --> 00:23:34,679
She's been divorced.
363
00:23:34,767 --> 00:23:37,600
You know the rulebook.
We're talking eternity here.
364
00:23:39,287 --> 00:23:41,881
Are we still on for dinner
Thursday night?
365
00:23:41,967 --> 00:23:44,925
Yes. Just so there won't be
another misunderstanding,
366
00:23:45,007 --> 00:23:46,759
who is buying?
367
00:23:46,847 --> 00:23:50,840
- How about a Dutch treat?
- Great. See you Thursday.
368
00:23:52,847 --> 00:23:54,758
Dorothy,
369
00:23:54,847 --> 00:23:56,838
thanks.
370
00:24:05,767 --> 00:24:08,804
It's like you didn't hear
a word I said!
29366
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