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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,367 --> 00:00:05,823 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:47,780 --> 00:00:49,881 D'oh! 3 00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:11,970 Oh! 4 00:01:35,661 --> 00:01:37,195 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 5 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:39,131 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 6 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:40,733 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 7 00:01:40,766 --> 00:01:42,635 Will you take us to Mount Splashmore? 8 00:01:42,668 --> 00:01:45,638 You're here, you're just in a long line. 9 00:01:45,671 --> 00:01:47,840 - Thank you. - We appreciate it. 10 00:01:49,875 --> 00:01:51,043 Points. 11 00:01:53,679 --> 00:01:55,414 Follow me. 12 00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:58,284 - Where? - Points. 13 00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,685 Points, points, excuse me, points. 14 00:02:00,718 --> 00:02:02,655 - Coming through, points. - My visor! 15 00:02:05,456 --> 00:02:08,593 No, Dad. No. We've been in line for an hour. 16 00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:10,263 Hmm, you have a point. 17 00:02:10,295 --> 00:02:12,197 Points! 18 00:02:15,501 --> 00:02:17,469 Will you please explain where you're taking us, 19 00:02:17,502 --> 00:02:19,137 and don't just say "points." 20 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,540 Okay. Over a lifetime of credit card debt, 21 00:02:21,574 --> 00:02:24,343 and paying for credit card debt with worse credit card debt, 22 00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:27,146 this family has two million hotel rewards 23 00:02:27,179 --> 00:02:30,650 loyalty... points, which we can only use 24 00:02:30,682 --> 00:02:34,453 at the nearest Second Best Western Motel. 25 00:02:34,485 --> 00:02:37,322 Oh, Dad, the points expire at midnight. 26 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:39,792 No worries. 27 00:02:39,824 --> 00:02:42,661 If I average 80 miles an hour for 14 straight hours, 28 00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:45,197 - we'll make it. - I love you, Homer. 29 00:02:45,230 --> 00:02:46,698 Step on it, Dad! 30 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:48,533 And I'll field this call from Grampa. 31 00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:50,468 Connection failed. 32 00:02:50,502 --> 00:02:51,671 But my liver! 33 00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,338 So where exactly are we going? 34 00:02:53,372 --> 00:02:55,141 Niagara Falls. 35 00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:56,217 - Eh. - Meh. 36 00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:57,384 Paid for by points. 37 00:02:57,439 --> 00:02:59,512 Points! Points! Points! 38 00:02:59,544 --> 00:03:03,348 I spy a closed-down Toys "R" Us. 39 00:03:06,585 --> 00:03:10,022 I spy a bankrupt Sears and Roebuck. 40 00:03:10,055 --> 00:03:12,024 - D'oh! - I don't know about this game. 41 00:03:12,056 --> 00:03:13,992 I find it a little... 42 00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:17,362 Circuit City overrun by wild dogs. 43 00:03:19,865 --> 00:03:20,933 Booyah! 44 00:03:20,966 --> 00:03:23,436 How can you booyah this country's decline? 45 00:03:23,468 --> 00:03:24,936 Cheer up, honey. 46 00:03:24,969 --> 00:03:28,240 We're headed to the one place that can never decline, 47 00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:33,079 because it was never that great: Upstate New York. 48 00:03:40,252 --> 00:03:43,689 ♪ Start watching Fox News ♪ 49 00:03:43,722 --> 00:03:48,027 ♪ Stop watching your weight ♪ 50 00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:52,031 ♪ There is no fancy part of it ♪ 51 00:03:52,063 --> 00:03:55,967 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 52 00:03:56,001 --> 00:03:59,705 ♪ They're fond of their booze ♪ 53 00:03:59,737 --> 00:04:04,075 ♪ Hot wing sauce is great ♪ 54 00:04:04,109 --> 00:04:07,747 ♪ I'm gonna clog my heart in it ♪ 55 00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:11,950 ♪ Upstate New York ♪ 56 00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:16,322 ♪ I want to sleep in, in a city ♪ 57 00:04:16,355 --> 00:04:19,925 ♪ That never wakes ♪ 58 00:04:19,958 --> 00:04:23,095 ♪ And find I'm fitting right in ♪ 59 00:04:23,127 --> 00:04:25,330 ♪ One of the gang ♪ 60 00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:28,133 ♪ Par for the course ♪ 61 00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:32,304 ♪ The Kodak plant closed ♪ 62 00:04:32,338 --> 00:04:37,475 ♪ But I'm longing to stay ♪ 63 00:04:37,509 --> 00:04:41,413 ♪ And go on disability ♪ 64 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:46,117 ♪ In Upstate New York ♪ 65 00:04:46,151 --> 00:04:49,922 ♪ Can't make it anywhere ♪ 66 00:04:49,954 --> 00:04:53,591 ♪ But I can make it there ♪ 67 00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:57,829 ♪ I love you so ♪ 68 00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:01,233 ♪ Upstate New York. ♪ 69 00:05:03,302 --> 00:05:06,806 Benedict Arnold fought here, baby. 70 00:05:10,809 --> 00:05:12,712 You want a quarter for the binoculars? 71 00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:13,879 I guess. 72 00:05:13,911 --> 00:05:16,448 Those tourist binoculars are never that strong. 73 00:05:21,853 --> 00:05:23,988 Now, that's worth a quarter. 74 00:05:24,021 --> 00:05:26,325 So magnificent. 75 00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:30,963 Hey, Lis, want to bounce? 76 00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:34,466 Not till I've soaked in the full majesty of the falls. 77 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,601 And done. 78 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,406 Take that, blue boy. 79 00:05:40,439 --> 00:05:42,241 Eat rubber, red head. 80 00:05:42,274 --> 00:05:45,577 I can't believe the kids are already bored with the view. 81 00:05:45,610 --> 00:05:47,079 Mmm. 82 00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:49,081 While the kids are bouncing around, 83 00:05:49,113 --> 00:05:52,016 why don't we do a little bouncing, too? 84 00:05:53,418 --> 00:05:57,156 That's even more romantic than what you said at Fort Dix. 85 00:06:01,526 --> 00:06:03,528 Whoa! 86 00:06:03,562 --> 00:06:08,201 Let's see, the angle of rebound equals the angle of incidence. 87 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:15,742 Ooh, I forgot to account for surface irregularities. 88 00:06:19,076 --> 00:06:21,379 Okay, time to take a sick day. 89 00:06:21,413 --> 00:06:23,215 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh God! 90 00:06:23,247 --> 00:06:25,384 Ooh, a rainbow. 91 00:06:25,416 --> 00:06:27,085 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 92 00:06:34,326 --> 00:06:35,995 Where am I? 93 00:06:37,161 --> 00:06:40,298 Oh... handsome, horsey. 94 00:06:40,331 --> 00:06:42,033 Am I in heaven? 95 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,603 Even better, eh? You're in beautiful Canada... 96 00:06:44,636 --> 00:06:48,307 is what I'd say if Canadians weren't too modest to brag. 97 00:06:48,339 --> 00:06:49,641 But we are. 98 00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:51,644 Oh... 99 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:54,480 I have a young girl who may... I repeat, may... 100 00:06:54,512 --> 00:06:56,382 need medical attention, eh? 101 00:06:56,415 --> 00:06:58,418 I repeat: eh. 102 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,930 Ms. Simpson, you're a very lucky lady. 103 00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:13,299 Oh, sweetie, thank God, thank God. 104 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:18,937 Your daughter's fine, but I recommend a five-day stay. 105 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,639 Of course, of course. We'll take out a third mortgage. 106 00:07:21,673 --> 00:07:26,812 Sir, you're in Canada now, where your health care is free. 107 00:07:26,845 --> 00:07:29,448 Free health care. Why can't America do that? 108 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:30,983 She's delirious, Doc. 109 00:07:31,016 --> 00:07:33,686 America can't pay for health care and give corporations 110 00:07:33,718 --> 00:07:36,355 the tax breaks they so desperately need. 111 00:07:36,387 --> 00:07:37,856 I'm not delirious. 112 00:07:37,889 --> 00:07:40,625 In fact, I've never felt more protected. 113 00:07:40,658 --> 00:07:42,327 Not like back home. 114 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,531 Ooh, hang on. Did you just say you don't feel safe 115 00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:46,932 in your home country? 116 00:07:46,964 --> 00:07:48,933 Why should she feel safe? 117 00:07:48,966 --> 00:07:52,471 In America, the great El Barto roams the streets. 118 00:07:52,504 --> 00:07:55,140 So, let me get this straight: you're afraid of America. 119 00:07:55,173 --> 00:07:56,542 Is that right, young lady? 120 00:07:56,574 --> 00:07:59,177 - Well, there's voter suppression... - Shh. 121 00:07:59,211 --> 00:08:01,208 and utter disregard for the environment... 122 00:08:01,233 --> 00:08:02,237 Shh. 123 00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:04,817 - a president who's such a son of a... - Shh. 124 00:08:04,850 --> 00:08:07,953 Oh, save that language for the lower 48. 125 00:08:07,985 --> 00:08:11,524 No, I'm telling you. Our president really is a god... 126 00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,658 - Shush. - We know. 127 00:08:17,161 --> 00:08:20,298 Lisa, as you're clearly a victim of political persecution 128 00:08:20,331 --> 00:08:23,067 who fears for her life, I must keep you in Canada 129 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:26,471 where you'll be safe and assigned your own hockey team. 130 00:08:26,504 --> 00:08:29,341 Please not Ottawa, please not Ottawa. 131 00:08:29,374 --> 00:08:31,810 Yeah, I'm, I'm so sorry. 132 00:08:31,843 --> 00:08:34,312 You can't keep my daughter. 133 00:08:34,346 --> 00:08:36,981 She's the heart and soul of this family. 134 00:08:37,014 --> 00:08:39,250 - Hey. What am I? - You're the spleen. 135 00:08:39,283 --> 00:08:41,419 We don't know what it does and we don't care. 136 00:08:41,452 --> 00:08:42,754 My hands are tied, ma'am. 137 00:08:42,788 --> 00:08:44,923 She's in the asylum pipeline now. 138 00:08:44,956 --> 00:08:46,926 You can't separate us from our child. 139 00:08:46,958 --> 00:08:48,560 That's America's thing. 140 00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,262 Well, then you leave us no choice. 141 00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:53,865 We have to deport you, Canadian-style. 142 00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,634 Great. Come on. Bring it in, bring it in. 143 00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:05,009 Lisa, are they taking care of you? Are you eating okay? 144 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:06,678 Look, I'm fine, eh. 145 00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:08,112 We're losing her. 146 00:09:08,145 --> 00:09:09,447 Mom, I'm okay. 147 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:11,216 They put me in a nice foster home 148 00:09:11,249 --> 00:09:12,884 with Gord and Francette here. 149 00:09:12,918 --> 00:09:14,385 Enough with the accent. 150 00:09:14,418 --> 00:09:15,721 Okay. 151 00:09:15,754 --> 00:09:18,389 Lisa, where should we go for dinner tonight? 152 00:09:18,423 --> 00:09:20,525 Harvey's or Swiss Chalet? 153 00:09:20,558 --> 00:09:22,093 How about Mr. Submarine? 154 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,861 Or Earls? 155 00:09:23,894 --> 00:09:25,129 Don't forget Humpty's. 156 00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:29,301 Mmm, restaurant chains I never heard of. 157 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,772 Homer, you take Bart back to Springfield. 158 00:09:34,806 --> 00:09:37,442 I am going for my daughter. 159 00:09:37,475 --> 00:09:40,312 Local smarty-pants Lisa Simpson has been abducted 160 00:09:40,345 --> 00:09:43,449 by America's Ned Flanders to the north, Canada. 161 00:09:43,481 --> 00:09:45,951 Here in Springfield, reactions to Lisa's loss 162 00:09:45,984 --> 00:09:48,754 have been loud and uninformed. 163 00:09:48,787 --> 00:09:50,623 Lisa was the moral center of this town. 164 00:09:50,655 --> 00:09:52,625 Now it's Barney, who knows nothing. 165 00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:56,128 Except it is the purpose of government to see that not only 166 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,796 the legitimate interests of the few are protected, 167 00:09:58,830 --> 00:10:01,500 but that the rights of the many are conserved. 168 00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:04,769 - Shut your gibber-hole. - Ow! 169 00:10:04,802 --> 00:10:08,240 Ugh! She was the only one in this band worth a tinker's damn. 170 00:10:08,273 --> 00:10:10,808 Oh, come on. 171 00:10:10,841 --> 00:10:12,276 You know you all stink. 172 00:10:12,309 --> 00:10:15,179 We've been working on the same song for 30 years. 173 00:10:16,847 --> 00:10:19,851 Can you fall in love with a country? 174 00:10:19,884 --> 00:10:23,621 The science textbooks acknowledge climate change. 175 00:10:23,654 --> 00:10:25,990 Class, let's give an enthusiastic 176 00:10:26,024 --> 00:10:28,460 but quiet hello to Lisa Simpson. 177 00:10:28,493 --> 00:10:30,129 Hello. 178 00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,665 As an American, I'd like to apologize 179 00:10:32,697 --> 00:10:34,298 for something our president said about 180 00:10:34,331 --> 00:10:36,968 your wonderfully progressive prime minister. 181 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:39,604 Is there any way I can send a note? Or maybe I could... 182 00:10:39,638 --> 00:10:41,774 - Right this way. - Oh. 183 00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,841 Hmm! 184 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:45,977 - Mr. Trudeau? - Yes, Lisa? 185 00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:47,379 Oh. 186 00:10:47,412 --> 00:10:51,483 I am really, really sorry about what our president called you. 187 00:10:51,515 --> 00:10:55,187 I don't think about it, I've moved on. 188 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:57,355 Weak. He called me weak. 189 00:10:57,389 --> 00:10:59,024 Absolutely. 190 00:10:59,057 --> 00:11:00,359 Let me ask you. 191 00:11:00,392 --> 00:11:02,795 Does this look weak? 192 00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:04,196 Seriously? 193 00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:06,965 Wow, that is impressive. 194 00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:08,901 Uh, watch your tie. 195 00:11:08,933 --> 00:11:11,502 So, listen, if I could just ask you one question 196 00:11:11,535 --> 00:11:14,038 about the SNC-Lavalin scandal? 197 00:11:24,381 --> 00:11:25,750 Now, Lisa, 198 00:11:25,783 --> 00:11:29,087 we'll be doing a class play based on a great Canadian novel. 199 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,057 The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz by Mordecai Richler? 200 00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:33,425 Maybe next year, Oliver. 201 00:11:33,457 --> 00:11:34,826 It's never Duddy. 202 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,329 No, we're doing a child-friendly version 203 00:11:37,361 --> 00:11:38,429 of The Handmaid's Tale. 204 00:11:38,462 --> 00:11:40,765 Ooh, I'd like to try out for Offred. 205 00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:46,105 Oh, so you're asking directly for something you want. 206 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:49,441 Well, that's not very Canadian, but I like it. 207 00:11:55,246 --> 00:11:59,117 I've never been happier. 208 00:11:59,150 --> 00:12:00,852 Polite applause, children. 209 00:12:00,885 --> 00:12:03,288 Yay. 210 00:12:09,727 --> 00:12:10,928 No. 211 00:12:19,104 --> 00:12:21,139 Hi, Mrs. Simpson. 212 00:12:21,173 --> 00:12:24,143 I have to get my daughter back. Can I hide in the trunk? 213 00:12:24,176 --> 00:12:27,479 Okay, but don't tell anyone we're going up for beer. 214 00:12:27,511 --> 00:12:29,447 We all know. 215 00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:35,153 D'oh. 216 00:12:40,991 --> 00:12:42,660 What's this blue stuff, eh? 217 00:12:42,693 --> 00:12:45,463 Oh, um, it's called a car tail. 218 00:12:45,496 --> 00:12:47,331 Stupid new American fad. 219 00:12:47,365 --> 00:12:48,914 Oh, we'll get it in six months. 220 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:50,299 Move along. 221 00:12:58,342 --> 00:12:59,844 Good-bye! 222 00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:01,747 Where is she? 223 00:13:01,779 --> 00:13:03,314 Mom. 224 00:13:04,349 --> 00:13:06,285 Oh, sweetie. 225 00:13:06,317 --> 00:13:09,420 Mmm, this is the best hug we've ever had. 226 00:13:09,453 --> 00:13:11,289 Yes, it's wonderful. 227 00:13:11,322 --> 00:13:13,257 Please don't make me leave. 228 00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:15,694 Your home is with us, not them. 229 00:13:15,726 --> 00:13:18,163 You must have known I wasn't happy in Springfield. 230 00:13:18,196 --> 00:13:20,365 All I did was play the blues. 231 00:13:20,398 --> 00:13:22,033 Are you sure you didn't play the blues 232 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:23,936 because slow tempos are easier? 233 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,337 Maybe a little. 234 00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:27,306 But this country is better. 235 00:13:27,339 --> 00:13:30,175 Their Fox News is just news about foxes. 236 00:13:30,207 --> 00:13:32,443 Listen, you little traitor. I'm your mother. 237 00:13:32,476 --> 00:13:34,011 And you live where I live. 238 00:13:34,044 --> 00:13:35,847 You're coming home with me. 239 00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,152 I'm really gonna miss this place. 240 00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:42,019 If it makes you feel any better, 241 00:13:42,052 --> 00:13:44,355 Canada exploits its environment, too. 242 00:13:44,389 --> 00:13:46,825 - Wha...? - This country does it all. 243 00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:50,228 Tar sands, strip-mining, Mountie-mocking, 244 00:13:50,261 --> 00:13:53,698 geese-goosing, French fry-gravying. 245 00:13:53,731 --> 00:13:57,568 Okay, but I'm sure you treat all peoples equally. 246 00:13:57,601 --> 00:14:00,639 - Except the Québécois. - And the Newfies. 247 00:14:00,672 --> 00:14:02,740 Stupid Newfies. 248 00:14:02,774 --> 00:14:04,142 I'm a Newfie. 249 00:14:04,174 --> 00:14:06,177 Whee. 250 00:14:08,212 --> 00:14:10,748 I guess that does make me feel a little better. 251 00:14:10,782 --> 00:14:12,017 Thank you. 252 00:14:13,951 --> 00:14:16,687 ♪ Where the wind blows cold ♪ 253 00:14:16,721 --> 00:14:19,057 ♪ And there's ice and snow ♪ 254 00:14:19,090 --> 00:14:22,761 ♪ Some days go on forever ♪ 255 00:14:22,793 --> 00:14:25,264 ♪ But I'm warm and fed ♪ 256 00:14:25,297 --> 00:14:27,432 ♪ In a Newfoundlander's bed ♪ 257 00:14:27,465 --> 00:14:31,570 ♪ I'll be an islander forever ♪ 258 00:14:31,602 --> 00:14:34,605 ♪ I'll be an islander ♪ 259 00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:36,475 ♪ Forever. ♪ 260 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,349 Sir, we'd appreciate it 261 00:14:44,381 --> 00:14:47,785 if you gave us safe passage back to America. 262 00:14:47,818 --> 00:14:51,455 Sorry, but as it now says on the Statue of Liberty, 263 00:14:51,489 --> 00:14:53,425 "No re-entry without hand stamp." 264 00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,827 - Where do you get the hand stamp? - There isn't one. 265 00:15:01,432 --> 00:15:03,302 Our top story tonight: Estranged Brew. 266 00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:05,070 Marge Simpson and her daughter have now been 267 00:15:05,102 --> 00:15:08,205 banned from the United States, just like asbestos. 268 00:15:08,239 --> 00:15:10,108 And this just in: asbestos is back 269 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:11,943 into America's hospitals and schools. 270 00:15:11,976 --> 00:15:14,111 Let me just say this asbestos will be 271 00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:16,180 reinstalled with the greatest of care. 272 00:15:22,519 --> 00:15:25,423 Oh, Homie, I don't know how we're gonna get back. 273 00:15:25,456 --> 00:15:27,992 Hmm... how soon can you grow a mustache? 274 00:15:28,025 --> 00:15:29,327 That won't work. 275 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,163 Your call. 276 00:15:31,196 --> 00:15:32,831 Hmm, at least it looks like 277 00:15:32,864 --> 00:15:35,000 you're getting along okay without us. 278 00:15:37,836 --> 00:15:40,305 You know, since Lisa and I are stuck here, 279 00:15:40,337 --> 00:15:42,573 maybe you should move up here with us. 280 00:15:42,606 --> 00:15:44,308 Great idea, great idea. 281 00:15:44,341 --> 00:15:46,077 What the heck? Bring Bart. 282 00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:48,346 No way. I can't move to Canada. 283 00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,081 I revere this country. 284 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:53,485 Really? The last vote you cast was for Quisp. 285 00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,153 And I won. 286 00:15:55,186 --> 00:15:58,956 Maybe we could find a way to sneak out. I snuck in. 287 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,859 You do what you want; I'm not leaving. 288 00:16:02,961 --> 00:16:05,096 Okay. You win, Lisa. 289 00:16:05,129 --> 00:16:07,698 Looks like we're gonna be here together. 290 00:16:07,731 --> 00:16:09,467 But there's one thing I need you to do. 291 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:12,636 Take one last look at the country you left behind 292 00:16:12,669 --> 00:16:15,506 and focus on anything good about it. 293 00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:18,110 You're right. America's like a great boyfriend 294 00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:20,644 that maybe got a little fat and lost a little hair. 295 00:16:20,677 --> 00:16:24,883 What does that have to do with anything? Just go. 296 00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,451 Good-bye, USA. 297 00:16:27,485 --> 00:16:29,553 I feel like we did the best we could. 298 00:16:29,586 --> 00:16:31,389 And we can still be friends. 299 00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:35,059 Okay, now I'm gonna focus on the good things that you've got. 300 00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:44,302 Abe Lincoln... Dumbo... 301 00:16:44,335 --> 00:16:47,372 Aretha Franklin, Eleanor Roosevelt, 302 00:16:47,404 --> 00:16:50,975 Seabiscuit, the computer that won on Jeopardy! 303 00:16:51,009 --> 00:16:53,711 What is "We miss you, Lisa"? 304 00:16:53,745 --> 00:16:55,647 Judy Blume. 305 00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:57,548 Oh, I own all your books. 306 00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,985 I know, I read my royalty reports. 307 00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,153 Having awkward new feelings for your country... 308 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,654 it's normal, Lisa. 309 00:17:03,687 --> 00:17:06,258 And you're one of my favorite readers. 310 00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,893 Welcome home, Lisa. 311 00:17:07,925 --> 00:17:09,760 Well, I haven't decided yet. 312 00:17:09,794 --> 00:17:12,264 Hello, Lisa. 313 00:17:12,297 --> 00:17:15,767 - Louis Armstrong. - Yeah. And I'm mighty tired 314 00:17:15,799 --> 00:17:18,537 of having to keep appearing in your fantasies. 315 00:17:18,569 --> 00:17:20,105 Get your ass back over here. 316 00:17:20,137 --> 00:17:21,872 Yes, sir, Satchmo. 317 00:17:21,905 --> 00:17:24,775 America ain't perfect, but it's my job to make it better. 318 00:17:24,808 --> 00:17:26,177 See you soon. 319 00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:31,416 What are you going over there for? 320 00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,419 It's legal now. 321 00:17:34,451 --> 00:17:36,954 What is "Pass the Dutch"? 322 00:17:41,659 --> 00:17:43,361 Psst, Mom. 323 00:17:43,394 --> 00:17:45,130 Psst. I want to go home. 324 00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,964 Oh, finally. 325 00:17:46,998 --> 00:17:49,701 We're out of this hellhole. 326 00:17:49,733 --> 00:17:51,269 Who made my bed? 327 00:17:51,301 --> 00:17:53,071 Least I could do. 328 00:18:02,446 --> 00:18:04,748 We will get you across the river. 329 00:18:04,781 --> 00:18:07,985 Nous allons vous faire traverser la rivière. 330 00:18:08,019 --> 00:18:11,256 God, it wastes so must time saying everything twice. 331 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:17,295 I feel so relieved to have finally made up my mind. 332 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:22,800 Ooh. We must ditch our excess cargo. 333 00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:24,669 You two. 334 00:18:24,701 --> 00:18:27,972 You're abandoning us in the middle of a frozen river? 335 00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:31,243 Wow, Canadians really can be jerks. 336 00:18:31,276 --> 00:18:33,245 Yes, for every Martin Short, 337 00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,346 there is no shortage of Shatners. 338 00:18:39,483 --> 00:18:41,619 Hope you wash up on a shore you like! 339 00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:51,129 - Homie! - Dad! 340 00:18:52,630 --> 00:18:54,366 Guess who's here to save the day. 341 00:18:57,201 --> 00:18:59,336 Why did you get a truck so big? 342 00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:01,438 It's the smallest one Detroit makes. 343 00:19:04,509 --> 00:19:06,144 How will we get in? 344 00:19:06,176 --> 00:19:09,480 I know one place where there's always plenty of room. 345 00:19:16,854 --> 00:19:19,324 I missed you, Krusty Burger where there's only 346 00:19:19,356 --> 00:19:20,858 one thing I can eat. 347 00:19:20,892 --> 00:19:23,461 I missed you, pony I had for a week. 348 00:19:23,493 --> 00:19:27,031 I missed you, snarky comic book seller. 349 00:19:27,065 --> 00:19:28,466 Thanks for nothing. 350 00:19:28,499 --> 00:19:32,403 I missed you, nuclear ash that looks like snow. 351 00:19:32,436 --> 00:19:35,639 I missed you, mixed martial arts megachurch. 352 00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:37,308 I missed you, Ralph. 353 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:38,643 You were gone? 354 00:19:40,178 --> 00:19:41,980 Now can we do Duddy Kravitz? 355 00:19:42,012 --> 00:19:43,881 No, we're gonna watch an episode 356 00:19:43,914 --> 00:19:46,117 - of The Beachcombers. - Oh... 357 00:19:48,005 --> 00:19:54,159 - Sync and corrections by ByDem - - www.addic7ed.com - 358 00:19:54,192 --> 00:19:55,727 For my show and tell, 359 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,430 I brought something from my trip to Canada. 360 00:20:00,097 --> 00:20:01,599 What did you do this week, sir? 361 00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:04,436 Well, a Japanese tourist took pictures of me, 362 00:20:04,469 --> 00:20:06,938 I fed my horse an apple, and I found 363 00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:10,608 a very interesting man hiding in Medicine Hat. 364 00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:13,278 - Papa. - Hey, Nelson, good news. 365 00:20:13,310 --> 00:20:16,080 You've got a brother in Fort McMurray. 366 00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:18,950 - What's his name? - How would I know? 26258

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