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Morning.

Lovely morning.
- Not bad

Banks never on time, are they?

No, no, they're desperate.
Desperate.

Desperate altogether.

Try another branch.

Morning.
Like to make a withdrawal, please.

Harrison will defend
the bail application,

maybe even take the trial.

But he insists on
two thousand pounds in cash.

For a morning's work?

Up front.
As in now, before we go in.

I see, he doesn't trust me.

Here he is now,
Michael, he's worth it.

Morning.
- Morning

It's nearly time.

Are we in funds?

Huh?

Oh, the cash.
Just been to the bank.

No... not here, Mr. Lynch.

And you will be taking that off
in court, won't you?

The prosecution's claim that
they fear my client

might leave this country
while on bail,

is completely and totally
without foundation.

Especially when Mr. Lynch's
lovely little daughter, Breda

is having her
first Holy Communion soon

and it would be tragic

if her father were not
to be with her on that day.

So, Your Honour,

the State can find no course
in law or in justice

why this clean-living unassuming --

teetotaler should have
his bail rescinded.

Mr. Lynch may remain on bail

until his trial commences
two weeks on Monday.

Mr. Lynch, how does it feel to be
the most wanted man in Ireland?

Do you think
you'll get a fair trial?

Mr. Lynch, you enjoy making
the Gardai look thick, don't you?

Hold... a minute, lads...

don't ever think the Gardas
are thick, you'd be wrong.

It'd be a big mistake.
The Gardas are anything but thick.

In fact, I think the Gardas are
very, very clever.

Is your name Michael Patrick Lynch?

You see, right there,
an example of brains. You see?

Excuse me, I am Mr. Lynch's attorney
and I object very much...

I'm detaining you on suspicion of
possessing illegal substances,

under the Misuse of Drugs Act.

I know what you want to do.

You want to strip search me,
don't you?

Please, let go of him.
This man is my client.

Oh, I see, you think
you'll humble me, do you?

Oh, no...! Look at them!
Look at what I have to put up with!

Look at what they do
to innocent people.

Trying to grab a feel.
Trying to grab me balls, you queer.

You dirty perverts,
trying to get your rocks off.

Drugs? What drugs?

I've never done drugs in me life
and everyone knows it.

Show them your credentials, Mike.

Find the drugs.

Give us a look, get them off.

Find the drugs. Come on,
put your fucking hand up my hole,

you poofters.

Come on.

Show 'em your credentials, Michael.

Hey, you fucking faggots.
What are you afraid of?

You do it in private,
but not here, you fuckers.

Do you want any more, love?

I'm grand unless there's dessert?

Of course there is.

Is that you in the newspaper da?

Oh, can I finish that?

Yeah, waste not, want not. Thanks.

Oh, God, Michael, give it to me.
Give it to me.

You know the way
all that red meat makes him hyper.

Sorry, sorry wasn't thinking.

Your father first.
Who earns the money in this house?

Da does.

They're all grand.
There's enough for everyone.

They have to learn.

you just better go to bed
when you're told tonight.

Okay, mum.

Have you got Lynch with you, lads?

Check. We have him in our sights.

Clothes on or off today?

Fuck off.

She's great.

Say hello to your da.
Go on. Found him.

Is that them, huh?

Is that the two sisters?

Oh, that's them all right, boy.

Bet he was glad he didn't have to
choose between them, huh?

Why choose
when you can have both, boy?

Mind your mothers now.
Do what they tell you.

See you tonight.

See you.

I'll call round later,
collect the kids, yeah?

Hey, Tommy, get off the bleeding
bike, come on.

Oh, come on, can I stay on?

You know I can't take you
without a helmet.

Please Auntie Lisa...
Come on, just one go.

Come on then,
say goodbye to your da.

Bye, da.

Wave him goodbye.

Look at daddy
going round and round.

Say goodbye.

Jesus, there's no way he can
shake us off, not out here anyway.

So what's the point?

Jesus. We're running very low
on petrol, Barry.

Control where's
the nearest service station?

Con's very worried about
the petrol situation.

He's getting out.

Okay, lads,
I'll be right back to you.

We're off.

Right, lads,
the nearest petrol station's

a good ten miles away, maybe more.

Oh, Jesus.

North east of the Bray Road.
Turn left for Bray.

There's an Esso on the left,
about three miles outside the town.

Keep in touch.

I don't believe this.

Ah for fuck, I told you
stop for petrol, didn't I?

But, no, you said,
''We're fine, Con''.

Look at him.
Sure, give him a wave, you wander.

Where would you be
without the social welfare, huh?

I couldn't agree more, Michael.
A vital few bob.

Tony Brady.

It's the difference between eating
and not eating sometimes.

You said it, Tony. Good luck.

Later.

Michael Lynch.
And how are you today?

Fine thanks.

There you go.

You're a gentleman
do you know that?

Thank you.

It's fellas like you
make the world go around.

Right, we've caught up with Lynch.

Told you he wouldn't miss out
on collecting his precious dole.

Well, don't lose him this time.

Oh, don't worry,
we're up his hole, Control.

And we've a full tank

Mr. Lynch won't be getting away
from us again today.

Right, lads, keep in touch.

I'll say one thing for him,
he sticks to the speed limit.

Don't fuck about.

Yeah, no problem, Michael.

You're a mess, little brother.

Relax, we're just passing through!

Fucking hell!

Excuse me, ladies...

say hello to my little friend.

Ho... here we go. He's off.
Put your foot down there, Con.

Something happening, Control.

You're telling me. There's a report
of a robbery at the dole office.

Oh, for fuck's sake, we're just
at the fucking dole office.

What?

Fuck it! What do we do now?

I never promised you a story.

You did!

I did not.

You did so, da!

What did I tell you about lying?

To lie to everyone
except you and ma.

And us.

Oh, yeah, and Auntie Lisa.

And the whole family. You never
lie to anyone in the family.

Tell us the story
about The Mansions, da.

Yeah, da,
tell us about The Mansions.

Fair enough.

Do you want to hear
the whole thing?

From the start.

Okay.

Long, long ago,
years ago before you were born

and your ma and me and Auntie Lisa
were very young

we all lived in a place
called The Mansions.

All our grannies and grand-dads
and brothers

and sisters and all our pals.
It was brilliant.

It was like a big hotel...

built specially for us
and all our mates.

And when I was young,

I used to think
God was smiling down on us.

Putting a special glow around us
so we could do as we pleased.

Go about our business with
no-one getting in our way.

And that it would never change.

Tell us about the bailiffs, da.

All right, so.

Do you know what bailiffs are?

They're just like gods
but they're worse.

Much worse.

So... one day...
this was before you were born.

I was coming home
after working hard all day.

And I saw them -- the bailiffs
attacking our homes.

Big bastards with hammers and
knives and all sorts of things.

But that didn't stop me
when I saw what they were at.

I went for them.

We fought for hours.

But there was too many altogether.

So, your ma and me and Lisa

we barricaded ourselves in
and we wouldn't come out.

You're need gonna take our homes
away from us.

And they couldn't get in,
no matter how hard they tried.

They huffed and they puffed,
but it was no use.

And all around us...

we could hear
the screaming and wailing

of our friends and neighbors

as they tore their houses
to little pieces.

Like savages they were.

They tried everything

but they didn't know me.

I wouldn't budge.

No matter if they brought the
whole place down around our ears.

And then the Mayor came!

That's right.

They were so pissed off
they couldn't get the better of me

the Lord Mayor of Dublin himself
come out to see your da.

Mr. Lynch.

Michael!

Michael! Michael, please,
if you'll just hear me.

Michael...

Get on your knees!

I'm pleading with you!

I personally have been authorized

to offer you these keys
to two houses.

One for us and one for Auntie Lisa.

And I made him promise...

that no-one could ever take
our homes away from us again.

And the Mayor said...

Yes, I promise!

So, I graciously
accepted their offer.

I won. I beat them all.

The bailiff and the Mayor
and the law.

I was loyal.
And that's why I won.

You see, the thing is...

they'll never beat you...

if you stick together
and stay loyal.

Are they asleep?

It's time
for the tickle man.

See you tomorrow.

'Night.

Hiya, Michael.

Hey, Shaun.

You're late.

Sorry, bedtime stories.

God! The Mansions again.

I bet that put 'em to sleep.

Christine asked me to ask you

would you mind looking
after Tom and Shane tomorrow.

She has to go into town to
get Breda her first communion gear.

No problem.

Are you ready for this?

Oh yeah.

I missed you.

Fuck them! Don't answer!

No, gotta call Billy,
tell him what's happening.

Jesus! Fuck 'em!

Who was with you at the bank?

It was Stevie.

No, no. Did Stevie drive the car?

Stevie drove the car, right?

That's right.

And Tony Brady was with you, yeah?

You see,
we know what you did, Lynch,

doing jobs
while you're out on bail.

And we have proof boy.

All you have to do is say,
''Yes, that's just the way it was''.

You drove to the courts
on a motorbike

and then you switched
at the last moment, right?

Fifteen minutes,
that's easy on a bike, Lynch.

Give us an answer,
you fucking gobshite!

All right, Con. Take it easy.

Shall we start all over again,
shall we?

You weren't with either of
your two wives Monday night

we know that much.

So, Michael, if you weren't
with the two ugly sisters

don't tell me you were off
banging some other old slag?

I realize you're not a golfing man,
Detective Sergeant

but...
the Association of Inspectors

and Superintendents Annual
Four Ball

had to be cancelled today.

Now, why do you think
it had to be cancelled?

Well, I did mention to you, sir,

that things like this usually
happen when we try to inter...

Don't be the smart Alec with me,
Noel.

I haev to tell you,

there's a lot of very unhappy
golfers here today.

This is vital rest and recreation
for senior officers.

Do you understand the importance
of this, Detective Sergeant?

Well I do now, sir.

Are you trying to tell me
''I told you so''?

I'll tell you someting,
Detective Sergeant...

I will not have
the reputation of the Garda...

brought into disrepute
by these shenanigans.

We will not be intimidated
by the likes of Michael Lynch.

Are you listening to me now?

Christine wasn't upset, was she?

No, no, she's fine.

You see, every time
you go out on the road

there's dangers out there

bits of glass lying in wait nails,
pot-holes.

So you have to watch out,
watch your every move

coos otherwise they'll get you.

Who?

The bits of glass and that.

Sooner or later,
if you're not careful

and then you get a puncture
and then you're fucked.

And then you fix it for me.

Yeah, I do.
Aren't you a clever little shite.

Can I put the patch on now?

Don't wrinkle it.

Job's worth doing.

If a job's worth doing,
it's worth doing well.

That's right... cool.

That'll be the best way to park.

Fucking brilliant parking that was.

Shit!
A beaut.

Hey, Tony, you drive like
a bleeding old woman.

Fucking comedian...

Mad fuck.

Michael...

...the new fella, Shay Kirby...

doesn't bother you
he used to be in the IRA?

Nah, he's out a couple of years.

A bit doggy though, isn't it?

Look, why are you bringing him in?

He's the inside man on the job
I'm gonna tell you about.

Look, I understand.

While I'm talking I'll make
some crack about the Provos,

you watch how he reacts.

Tommy, come on, we're going.

Say goodbye to daddy.

Bue-bye, da.

By, chicken.

Bye lads.

Bye.

Bye, da.

All right, sitting down, lads.

One more round, Michael?

Little fella, sit down.

All right...

First, you've all met Shay Kirby.

How's it going?

Now, as you know...

I may be a bit occupied in the
Four Courts come Monday week.

Now, should go okay,
but you never know.

So I thought maybe now is the time

for a job I've been thinking about
the last few months.

One of those impossible ones.

Now, this is one the IRA
had their piggy little eyes on

but even they thought
it couldn't be done.

Well, lads, when I heard that
I thought to myself,

we're gonna have to show
those dozy fuckers a thing or two

about robbing
O'Donnell's jewellery factory.

Jesus Christ, Michael.

Bollocks, man!

What I was thinking was...

we wouldn't actually try to
break into the factory itself

but we'd sort of drop in.

Fuck. Jesus Christ!

And then sort of camp
out in the yard

until someone arrives to let us
in the next morning.

And that someone...

is Mr. Fintan Doorley
the General Manager.

Like myself, very precise man.

Fintan arrives
at five-to-eight every morning.

Now, as a man
who likes and needs routine

he will probably be
a bit surprised at what he sees.

Good morning, Mr. Doorley.
We're here to steal your gold.

Meet our esteemed leader.

Good morning, staff.

Identify yourselves.

Once inside
they'll meet Tony, Tom and Billy

who'll invite them
to step into the marquee.

And lads... Politely, okay?

As long as
they're doing us no harm,

we won't do them any harm.

Stop mucking around.
Do as you're told!

You got that, Billy?

What?

Just get the people inside.

Blow up the air bed, love,
I'l be in in a minute.

That's enough out of you, Billy.

Give us a kiss,
you big ride, you.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, Michael.

So that at quarter-to-nine,
we all drive back out again.

And we can all relax

because it will be some time before
anyone gets to call the Gardai.

Now does everyone have a picture
of that in their minds?

Because, lads, I promise...

that's just the way
it's gonne be easy as pie.

What age are you, Alec?

What, ten years younger than me?

Big difference.

Then Tony and Michael,
add another ten years on to that.

Now, when they were kids
they had fuck all.

Ain't that right, Michael?

We had each other.

True.

Now, I'm that much younger
so I got some stuff,

but it was never the right stuff.

What are you
shitting on about, man?

Billy, Billy knows
what I'm talking about, don't you?

No.

For fuck's sake.

What was the big thing
when you were eight, say?

''Star Wars'', I suppose.
Is that what you mean?

''Star Wars''.

Now, I bet you got the proper
''Star Wars'' stuff.

You know, the real toys.
What were they called?

Luke Skywalker, Darth Vader,
I had all that shite, man.

And it was the proper thing, yeah?
The official stuff?

Yeah, so what?

So, I never got that.

But, sure, me da probably robbed
the fucking things anyway.

It doesn't matter!

My ma and da couldn't even rob
the proper thing.

That's a fucking tragedy, Stevie.

It is a fucking tragedy.

Fellas your age,
you got the proper thing.

And now my kids want
every fucking thing that's going.

And you're gonna use
all your money

to make sure they get it.
Fair play to you.

In me hole.

I'm gonna make up for all the stuff
I missed out on.

I'm gonna enjoy myself.

Go ahead Tom.

Right, Michael.

Now, the depth of this door
is just right.

Now, once that panel is removed
the bars sit in there,

nice and snug.

Now, if you have enough of them,
they don't rattle around.

And you don't even notice
the extra weight

when you're opening
and closing the door.

Now this couple I've lined up
they're complete innocents

that's the beauty of it

no extra splits.

They're just
old friends of me da's.

Couple in their fifties
Mr. and Mrs. Harmless.

And you know Customs...

while they're busy searching
bearded ex-hippies in their 2CVs

they'll be tipping
their hats at our pair

as they chugger, chugger through

at their usual
twenty-five miles an hour.

Then they drive all the way over
to the Cotswolds.

They've told me all about
this lovely hotel

it's so quiet and peaceful that
they always go back every year.

This is how I see it all happening,
Michael.

It's not too far from Birmingham,
right,

so I can fly in be at their hotel
inwhat, half an hour.

They'll be there taking afternoon tea
completely unaware

that they've a couple of
hundred thousand quids'

worth of gold
sitting outside in the car.

There'll be no more than,
what a dozen cars parked there

no security, so getting
at the car'll be no problem.

Bing, bang, boom. Get the gold

bring it to the fence.

Tom, it all sounds fine.

I'll see you when you get back, so.

Don't worry about it, Michael.
You can trust me.

Hi, Uncle Billy.

Come here to me, chicken.
Come here to me.

Oh, look at you.

My God,
are you an angel or a princess?

Isn't she gorgeous?

Come here to me. Tell me this would
that buy a few rosary beads eh?

Come here.
What do you say to Mr. Higgins?

Thank you.

No problem, love.

Good girl, good girl.
Now, come here to me, listen.

Go on uupstairs, right,

and I'll be with you
in a few minutes.

All right, chicken, go on.

Save us a dance, love,
will you?

Who's your man there
with Billy?

Higgins is his name.

Grew up around here all right.
Went to college, you know.

IRA I heard.

Funny thing, he looks more like you
than your brother does.

Same haircut anyway.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm telling you.

Yeah, I know, I'm not gonna
fuck it up all right?

Thanks for the lift.

Da, da, look what granny gave me.

What is it, chicken?

It's a holy book
with lots of pictures.

Oh, isn't that brilliant?

What I'd give to
have a present like that.

That's what I'd like to know
where did you come from?

Guess.

Mickey, you know that job that
Tom was doing for you in England?

Yeah.

What I mean, Mike,
even though I always knew that

Tom was a bit of a fucking eject
you know, he was sound.

I mean, if you'd asked me
that's what I'd have told you.

Looks like
he's done a runner and...

there's no car and there's no gold.

Yeah.

So what do you wanna do?

Why the fuck did he think
he could get away with it?

It's not like him,
I'll say that for him.

And mind you, can you ever
trust anyone these days?

Yeah, you can.
That's what it's all about.

Wouldn't have asked him to
do the job if I didn't trust him.

What now?

You go find him. Bring him back.

Okay.

Tony...

Yeah?

You can finish your dinner first.

Jesus, are you gonna queue up?

I'll have to, won't I
unless you've any better ideas?

Well, I can get you in there
no bother. Private tour.

No, thanks,
I'll try the front door.

Fair enough.
Listen, I've gotta go.

Got this stupid fucking court thing
in half-an-hour.

Enjoy yourself.

I will.
You'll be all right, will you?

Course.

My Lord, may I request
an adjournment of proceedings

until Wednesday?

Application refused.

but, my Lord, Mr. Harrison...

the prosecution is ready,
the jury is ready, I am ready.

Your client cannot avoid
the process of law indefinitely.

Mr. McHale, are you ready to begin?

Certainly, my Lord.

Almost two years ago
on the nineteenth of February

the defendant, Michael Lynch
and an unknown associate

entered the premises of Superex
a video game company.

They were armed and dangerous.

They threatened the life
of a member of staff

and stole over
thirty-two thousand pounds in cash.

Listen, Michael...

See this?

Yeah?

Can I hang it up in our room?

What do you want
a holy picture for?

It's not a holy picture,
it's a Caravaggio.

He's about as holy as you are.

Well, it looks like
a holy picture to me.

Can I hang it up, or can't I?

Of course.

And you wont' be
slagging me about it?

I promise.

Grand.

Can I go to the toilet, da?

Of course.

Do you get the feeling
I don't believe you, Tom?

Please, Michael... please!
I swear...

I mean, even if it is true,
these old ones

got their car door
ripped off by a passing Land Rover

and then left it abandoned
on the side of the road.

I searched, Michael.
I drove up and down.

I found the car and I even
put a new door on it an' all.

I fucked up, you know,
and I was, I was afraid.

So you don't think
I'm a fair man then, Tom?

No.

No, it's not, it's not that,
Michael, it's...

Please, Michael...
I'm sorry, please.

What did you do with the gold?

Oh, God...

I did nothing!

I never got it, I never!

It's gone. You have to believe me.

But you ran away, Tom.

Only scumbags run away.

You can't trust someone
who does that, can you?

I mean, would you trust them, Tom?
Would you?

No, no, I wouldn't.

So you see why this is a problem
I have to deal with, don't you?

I mean, I can't leave it
hanging around, can I?

Yeah, I know...

Where's the gold?

I don't know.

What do you think?

I don't know, Michael, I...

I'm not certain...
or anything like...

I'd nearly believe him, Michael.

Yeah, I think you're right.

His story is so stupid
it's probably true.

All rigth, let him down.

I'm sorry, Tom.
I believe your story now.

Tony'll take you to the hospital.

Oh, you're on the medical card,
aren't you?

I mean this won't
cost you anything, will it?

No.

Grand, night. Lads.

And will the accused sit up

and let us see his face, please!

The accused is a very clever man.

But the extraordinary thing
about him

is that he seems unable to resist

letting the rest of the world
know how clever he is.

sometimes I think
he's not a real criminal at all,

he's just a big show-off.

How are things, Michael?

Fair, Shay.
What'll you have?

No, I'm grand.

Is everything all right,
Michael?

Yeah, fine.

Oh, it's just this...
there's this judge...

he's getting on my nerves.

He's prejudiced, you know.

Is that right?

That's his daughter's car.
Do you think you could find it?

Consider it done.

Trial's supposed to end
on Thursday

will that give you enough time
to send them a bit of a message?

A ''frightener''?

It has to be timed just right.

Give me the keys, love.

Thanks for the lunch, sir...

and a very stimulating
conversation.

Bye, dad. Hope we didn't
outstay our welcome.

Not at all, Moira.

Mind you, he does like the osund of
his own voice, doesn't he?

You're one to talk.

In conclusion...

whatever the jury's feelings
may be...

as to what seems
the just conclusion to draw...

I must remind you that...

if the available evidence is not
sufficient for a conviction

then...

you must not convict.

This is another disaster
for the Gardai, isn't it?

Mr. Lynch has been found not guilty.

That is not to say that the Gardai

are pursuing anyone else
in connection with this crime.

It's also not to say that

the Gardai will
cease its investigations

in the activities
of Mr. Michael Lynch.

Do you think the justice system is
too soft on criminals, Michael?

Michael, how can you afford such
an expensive legal team, Mr. Lynch?

Are you back on the dole, Michael?

Now that you're innocent,
can you show us your face?

Daddy.

There's daddy
with the black hood on him.

That's right.

Da, why are you wearing
a black hood?

Cos, I don't want them to see me.

...that Mr. Michael Lynch
is not a funny man.

All right, now, kids, who is he?

A Garda.

Is he a pig, da?

You're both right,
but you never call him a pig.

Pay attention to him,
call him a Garda

and never trust him
or anyone like him.

Come on, play it, Michael.
Are me and Lisa in it?

It's just a little bit
you have to watch

it's in the, the beginning...

Hey, that's us.We're famous.

We're not the stars of the show,
of course.

We'd only be like extras, you know.

Will you go and play outside,
please.

Are you going home?

We've gotta go home in a minute.

All right, come on,
we'll watch it again in a while.

Get your coats.

But it does seem that the Gardai
just can't control

the spiral of crime
in the city right now.

Does it?

Billy.

Billy!
How are youse?

Billy, how are you?

God, you're looking well tonight.

I like the suit there, big fella.
Thanks. How are you doing?

Right, fine.
How are you, Michael?

Lisa and Christine, isn't it?

Sorry, I'm not sure which is which.
Dark, you know.

Who's that?

It's Jerome Higgins.
He wants to talk to you.

Jerome Higgins?

Since when yhave you become
the messenger boy for the IRA,

little fella?

Talk to him, will you?

A few minutes,
that's all, honestly,

it's no trouble or anything.

What's the problem, Michael?

I don't like being told what to do,
that's the problem.

It's grand.

I won't be long. Okay?

Billy.

Conversing with the riff-raff.

Glad our man, Shay Kirby,

was able to help you out
with that Judge, Michael.

Shay doesn't work with you
any more.

But his training, Michael.
His methods.

What are you looking for?

Well, I was just saying
to Billy there

that I think
there could be a lot of merit

in a bit of co-operation
between us.

Well, I don't.

Billy wouldn't agree with you there

and we've done a few favours
for your Billy.

Now, I suppose you know that

we had our eye on
O'Donnells Jewellery as well.

Tough shite.

Because we thought a reasonable
cut from the what?

Two million, I believe, would be
a nice gesture to us, Michael.

Call it a symbol
of future collaboration.

How about a symbol
of future fuck all?

You've neither the fucking brains

or the gumption
to do your own robbing

so you think
you can come around here

and squeeze an ordinary
decent criminal, like me,

who knows something about his job.

Fuck off and double fuck off,
Jerome.

Night, little fella.

Excuse me.

Oh, and,
no hard feelings by the way.

God loves a trier

and keep your eye on the papers,
Higgins...

cos that'll be the first place
you hear about my next job

when it's all over the front pages.

The biggest yet.
Way out of your league.

What job are you talking about,
Michael?

Don't ask me, I'm making it up
as I go along.

M, it's me.

Hi, Michael.

Look, I'm really sorry about that
you know. Look, I'm really...

Christine!

So, you got caught dealing and
now you're in hock to the IRA.

You fucking spaz.

I want you out of Dublin, fast,
little fella.

England, the States,
I don't care where.

But keep away from them
and keep away from me.

I'm sorry, Michael.

Mostly he enede up
doing religious painting

but that's only cos that's
where the money was in those days.

Cardinals and Bishops were
always hiring artists

to paint scenes from the Bible.

And Lords, of course, trying to
show of how holy they were.

He had to do a runner out of Rome
for killing some fella in a fight.

Bit of a fucking headcase,
do you know.

Michael, this isn't right.

Excuse me, my, my wife,
she needs to...

See Jesus and Judas...

Caravaggio used fellas
off the street as his models.

He hung around bars and
whorehouses all the time

picked out someone interesting
to be Jesus or whoever.

I think he got a kick out of that,
you know...

having Cardinals on their knees...

praying away to some painting
of a murderer or something.

What are you laughing at?

Oh, nothing.

I was just thinking about
what lasts, you know,

and who gets the benefit.

I mean, your man who painted this

he never saw any of the money
it's supposed to be worth, right?

But he gets the reputation though

I mean, people remember who he is.

And that's the thing, isn't it?

You're afraid no-one'll
remember you after you're dead?

I think
you should take up painting.

Why? So I'll be remembered?

Nah. So you could do the kitchen.

Hello, yeah?

Father Grogan?

Paul Grogan, yes, that's me.

My name's Christine.

I phoned you about the Caravaggio.

Oh, yes, of course.

Come in, you're welcome.

Oh, the painting was hanging
right down here for years

looking down at everyone
having their supper

and no-one took any notice of it.

Getting dirtier and dirtier.

Then one day I was celebrating Mass
in our little chapel upstairs

remind me to show it to you
before you go.

Anyway, this morning
it was Luke's wonderfully moving

account of Veronica
washing the face of Jesus.

And I thought, we must have
that beautiful painting cleaned.

No idea
what was about to be uncovered

a Caravaggio...

I mean, a priceless original.

It was a pity for us in a way,
of course,

because it was lovely to
have it there.

But, well...
as soon as we knew its value

we knew it couldn't stay here.

I mean any half decent thief
could just walk in.

The gallery made us
that very fine copy though.

Same size and all?

Oh, yes, an absolute replica.

Oh, I couldn't tell the difference.

What about an art expert?

Well, he or she
would spot it in seconds.

If it really is
worth thirty million

why didn't you sell it
to the gallery

rather than giving it to them?

Well, not blowing
our own trumpets now

but I suppose we just thought
it was the right thing to do.

Won't be long,
about ten minutes I suspect.

Okay, lads, good luck.

What the bloody hell's he doing?

Get out of the car.

Get out of the fucking car!

Yes!

Did you see their fucking faces?

Raferty van, that's it, that's it.

Get after him, Con.
Turn the car around, get her round!

Shut up. I'm, like, doing it.

Oh their tail.
We'll lose them, hurry up!

Would you, for fuck's sake,
just shut up!

Okay, we're up on them.

Right, steady as you go, Con,
steady as you go now.

Nice and handy.

Fuck!

The door's open, now's your chance.

What's the fucking matter with you?
It's only a picture!

Jesus Christ!
Come on.

I knew we were a country
that respects art.

Yes.

You never mind if there's bastards
out there trying to get you.

They're only satisfied
when they can grind you down,

keep you poor, put you away.

They don't count. Not with us.

In fact, I think we can give them
the run around any time we like

cos they're only eejits.

Mentioning no names like.

And this thing of me becoming
a bit of a TV star lately

I want you all to know

it's not gonna change me
one little bit.

Come on,
I wanna show you something.

We're top of the ratings, lads.

They might even give us
our own series.

...valuable painting Caravaggio,
''The Taking of Christ''

was stolen in broad daylight

by an unknown criminal gang
posing as American tourists.

And none of them have
a fucking clue as to who did it.

Oh, you wanna see the bum shot?

What the fuck is a bum shot?

Oh, Jesus.

Look at that arse on you, man.

Michael, the painting,
how are we gonna get rid of it?

It's all sussed.

Alec is going to Amsterdam
next week to see a fence.

Let him make us an offer.

But the crack is, in the meantime
while we're waiting for all of that

we can just sit back
and watch the Gardai

make a pig's mickey of it.

I'll drink to that.

Michael, any idea how much we'll
get for this holy picture here?

Like, just cos
it's valued at thirty million.

We'll get enough to get rich,
don't worry.

The point is, we've won.

I mean, you see ths,
you see all this?

Think about what it means.

We're number one,
not the Gardai

not the IRA, not anyone else.

The whole country is in awe of us.

Because of a little divine
intervention here from...

we're bigger than Riverdance.

One day at a time...

sweet Jesus,
that's all I'm asking of you

Just give me the strength to
do everything that I have to do

Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus

And tomorrow may never be mine

I think this is the signal.

Watch... see?

Spot on.

Well, it's the signal itself
that got to me, sir.

Well, you're right,
he's giving a signal but...

he's imitating the painting, sir.

Same as your man Judas there.

Oh, right, very clever, but...

Yeah, it's smart.

Obviously someone that likes a gag.
Someone that likes a joke.

That's what made me realise
it's Michael Lynch.

We can't get a positive ID
from that picture, sir,

but I did body size and shape
comparisons with Lynch and Brady.

Heads, heights, everything,
they match.

Very interesting, Noel, well doen.

Good to see the gizmos being
put to use and so on,

but it's a coincidence.

Your nose alone
should tell you that

Lynch is not capable of
this kind of thing.

I went back over
some of the security videos

from the art gallery, sir.
I found this.

Lynch and his wife Christine
on a day out.

I know it's not
evidence of anything, sir

but what the fuck
is Michael Lynch doing

at a seventeenth century
Italian art exhibition?

My wife went to that exhibition!

I'm sorry, but we'd look like fools

presenting that idea
to the top lads in Interlope.

If my training with the FBI
has taught me anything,

it's these specialist robberies

are the preserve of
a few international gangs.

Germans, Dutch, art thieves that
really know their business.

Come on, Noel, admit it.

Lynch just isn't in that league.

Behave yourself.

Oh, charge it to room 764, please.

No... Peter. In fairness you've
travelled a long way to meet us.

You have to let me pay this time.

Hey, you know it's no problem.

You'll be paying
the hotel bill anyway.

Hey, Alec, he's right.
He's fucking right.

So we will.

Hey, I like your style, Peter.

Smart fella there.
I like that.

Oh phone call. Won't be long.

Hey, Peter, I think that slapper
over there has her eye on you.

What's a slapper?

Yeah... no, yeah, no,
half eleven's fine, yea...

No... I'll be there, yeah...

It's certainly not the MO
of any gang that we know.

Which suggests very strongly that

it's a very clever
local Irish operation.

You've probably come to that
conclusion yourselves already.

Oh yes, oh, indeed, aye.

Well, of course we're
pretty confident at this stage

that this is the work of
a gang led by Michael Lynch.

Now, I'm personally familiar
with Lynch's MO

and though normally art theft
isn't really histhing,

this particular robbery seems to
have his mark on it all right.

If you know who you're dealing with

it will make a recovery operation
much easier.

We know that someone here in Dublin

has made contact with a fence
in Amsterdam.

Let us call him Peter.

Peter had made contact with us

to offer his co-operation.

Good afternoon, lads.

All set?

All ready, sir.

Noel...

Yes, sir?

Get to work.

Right away, sir.

Whatever you do,

don't say anything to him
about where you're taking him,

or mention anything
about the painting at all.

Okay.

Not a word.

I mean it. Good luck.

See you there, Michael.

Do you like art, generally?

What do you think of the painting?

Oh, I couldn't give a shite, man,
to be honest with you.

Well, it's a beautiful Caravaggio,
isn't it?

Well, of course I realize,

well, I suppse that
money is your main interest.

I can tell you,
you don't like to talk,

you have no interest
in conversation.

Not true. I love a good chat, man.

So, these are the beautiful
Dublin mountains.

Spotter plane.

They've got it, sir.

All right.

Let's hope
the weather remains fine,

especially if
we have to view outdoors.

Where do you want it?

The Caravaggio?

Upright somewhere.

Lean it against the tree there.

It's so strange to be standing on
a wooded mountain top

looking at one of the great
marvels of Renaissance art.

''The Taking Of Christ'',
by Caravaggio.

What are you shouting for?

Oh, sorry, was I?

A little excited perhaps.
After all, this is a...

Right. So, tell me, are you happy
with your examination?

Yes, very happy.

Right then, lads, follow me.

Back to Roundwood okay?

Roundwood. Got him.

Units 2,3 and 6, Roundwood.

I want a complete roadblock.
All roads in. All roads out.

All units to Roundwood...

Copy that, control.
Unit 6 on our way to Roundwood.

Unit 5, how far away are you?

Isn't the scenery around here
only fantastic Peter?

Of course, you've no mountains
in Holland, sure you haven't.

No, very flat Holland.

I love your country very much.

Same here, Peter.

Ireland's a great place to live,
do you know that?

Are we near Roundwood yet?

About half a mile.

As soon as we get off this road
we're as good as there.

Fantastic.
We might stop for a pint, will we?

Are you thirsty?

The cheek of the man.

Are they in position yet?

I want that roadlock rock solid
do you hear me?

Mothing repeat,
nothing is to get through.

Unit 6, call in, where are you?

I know the very best pub
for you, Peter.

Lovely log fire.
Irish music sessions

and they serve a great pint.

Are you sure he said Roundwood?

Sir, the surveillance plane can't
spot the subjects

anywhere near Roundwood.

What?

He says they're not in the area.

Well, they have to be.

Are you sure it's Roundwood?
Over.

Maybe they're not
out of the woods yet.

Here we go. That's Roundwood
up ahead there, Peter.

Supposed to be the highest village
in Ireland.

Wouldn't mind living aroung here,
I can tell you.

A lovely quiet spot.

Yes, yes, very tranquil.

They're just
coming into Roundwood now.

Well, the surveillance plane
still can't spot them.

Well, what's going on?

Oh, fuck... God forgive me.

No sign of them. Nothing at all.

What an awful
waste of taxpayers' money.

What's he talking about now?

I hope the Government will pay
for your funeral, Peter.

It's the least they can do.

Please, don't.

Jesus Christ, Michael,
that was fucking amazing.

Here, Tony, Stevie,
wasn't that the business?

I bet the Gardas are sitting there
thinking,

''What the fuck are we
after letting ourselves in for?''

''There is no way
we can get all these fuckers''

''they're untouchable.''

You knew all along, didn't you?

How do you mean?

Like, explain it to me.

What the fuck
did we go through all that for

if you knew Peter was a fake?

They're gonna feel so stupid.

The Gardas are gonna think
they'll never get the better of us.

Yeah, maybe.

I just wouldn't try that one
with stevie right now.

Stevie? Fuck him
if he's got no sense of humor.

On the night, He was betrayed.

He took bread and gave you thanks

and praise. He broke the bread
gave it to his disciples and said

''Take this all of you nd eat it
this is my body''

''which will be given up for you.''

May He make us an everlasting gift
to you

and enable us to share
in the inheritance of your Saints

with Mary,
The Virgin Mother of God

with the Apostles...
the Martyrs...

Right, Michael,
we're up your arse now.

Michael...

Take a look at
what's happening outside.

What?

Look!

What the fuck...

Hi, cunts.

Shut your fucking mouth,
you little toerag.

What the fuck are you
gonna do about it?

I'll fucking shut it for you.

Alec, come here. I'll fucking
shut it for you, you runt.

Lads. It's Christine.

How are you all?

Bastards.

Come on. Let's see what they're at.
Thisi s something new...

we just ignore 'em,
no matter what they do.

Right, lads?

Alec...
What?

They don't exist.

I wouldn't fucking touch them.

Then again I might have to
give someone a good kicking.

Your escorts. Here boys,
we'll look after you.

You fucking wanker,
get out of my way.

That baldy fuck's supposed to be
a mastermind criminal?

You must be joking

just a thick gobshite
who got lucky I'd say.

Well, he's fucked now.

Hey, Lynch,
are you listening to me?

Can you feel it, can you?

You might as well give up now.

Cos we're gonna be glues
to your arse from now on.

Yeah, like flies on shite.

Hey, girls, you got a minute?

What's up with you?

Oh, nothing.

Fucking Gardas, you know,
getting on me nerves.

Listen, I need one of you
to drive me later on.

So where are the Gardas gonna be?

Are you gonna fucking hlep me
or not?

Yeah.

Keep your hair on.

Why can't you cops
leave people alone?

How can they keep this up?
This is harassment.

How many of them are there?

How are we supposed to work
with the cops all over us?

I don't recognize any of them.

Would somebody call the Gardas,
sort out this mess?

They're never around
when you need them.

It's just no fun any more,
is it, Lisa?

time's up and I think you know it.

I've had a contact about
the painting, Michael.

Yeah?

An offer. From the IRA
a hundred grand.

Not great, I know,

but it's better than
letting the thing just rot away.

Their man Higgins said,
if you did the deal

it would be okay about Billy.

Sorry?

Like, if he comes to Dublin,
there'd be no hassle.

You talked to Higgins about Billy?

Look, let's do the deal

so thowe fuckers go after the IRA
and let us alone.

Fucking sure anyway, it's not
our kind of stuff, you know

this art shite.

Let the IRA deal with it, man.

Look at all these Gardas...
look what we've done to them,

we've dragged them
down to our level.

They're acting like criminals now.

I'm their worst fucking nightmare.

And now you're telling me
you want to get rid of the painting

the thing we'll be remembered for.

You think
he'll give you a hundred grand?

Yeah.

Like fuck he will.

Can't you see
what Higgins is up to?

It's not about the money,
it's not about the painting.

It's about splitting us.

Michael, we're robbers.
We rob for a living.

I'm not making a living any more.

Yeah, I know, you need things.
You want money, I know.

Michael, they're coming.

Will you have a think about it
what we've been saying?

Will you, Michael?

Tell Higgins I'll let him know.

And I'll let him know too.

And I hope we're talking about
the same thing.

See you later, Michael.

D'you fancy a pint, copper?

Look at the time,
I'll be late picking up me kids.

Michael Lynch.
And how are you today?

What's this?

Your benefits have been rescinded.

Try that one again.

It's the Government.

I just got the order.

You see,
they've cut off your payments.

So I have to...

you know, I, I, I can't...

You think
you can break me like this?

You're off your fucking head.

Would you stop for a minute
and listen.

Can't you see
where it's all heading, Michael?

Only the one way...

You've been prison twenty years

Me, Lisa, the kids...

No, no, I wouldn't
let it fucking happen...

Michale Lynch, Norman here, good morning

Tell you the news about donor

I'd say
Christine's very pissed off.

You ugly bag os shite.

You're losing it, Lynch, so fast.

As long as you live...

Stop it...

we'll be here watching you.

No escape.

Fuck off, Michael.

Christine, did we wake you?

Do you really think they'll ever
let you get away, Michael...

All right.

after all you did?

All right, you're right,

but they're never gonna
fucking put me away,

you hear me, no matter
what they fucking do. Never.

They're out to get you.
What can you do it?

What can I do about it?

I'll tell you
what I'll fucking do about it...

Christine...

Sorry for the disturbance,
Christine.

Bastards.

I never thought
they'd get this close.

Hey, Lynch...

What's so, what?

Show us your ugly mug.

If they were me down,
then it was all worth nothing.

I'll lose everything.

You... Lisa... the kids.

What about the painting?
If we got some money...

I wasn't in it for the money.

In it for the crack.

I got a few good laughs
out of it.

You know what you are?

That good, yeah?

Wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea,
but it suits me.

That is disgusting.

Hey, keep the noise down, Lynch.

How are you, Michael?

You got me offer?

So what do you think?

Last time we spoke
I told you to go fuck yourself.

Things have changed a bit
since then, haven't they?

That's right, Michael.

I mean, all these lads, following
it's not good, you know?

one has to face facts.

You cut your cloth, Michael.

So I suppose
it'll come as a bit of a shock

when I tell you
to go fuck yourself again.

I'd tear up that painting
and wipe me hole with it

before I let you near it.

It's too late for you, Michael.

There's no Lord Mayors begging to
do you favours any more.

That's long gone.

I've a picture in me head of you

sitting with your grandchild
on your knee.

A bit of drool
coming slowly down your chin.

Talking shite.

Michael who?

We have a show. Tony.

Michael.

Tony.

I've been fucking you around,
haven't I?

Yeah, you have, Michael.

I'm sorry.

Well, it's to be expected
with all this shite going on.

Yeah, but whatever Stevie's up to,

he's gonna make things worse.
You know that, don't you?

No, I don't
He's only trying to sort things.

Get us back to where we were.

Oh, you think that's what
Higgins wants? You believe that?

What choice do we have?
You're not helping.

Do you think
any of these fellas can lip-read?

You'd be amazed the skills
the Gardas have these days.

You're fantastic lads.

Do you know that?

He's got a crack.

For Christ sake, Michael.

Tell me then. What's next?

Stevie's gonna try to get
the painting to Higgins, isn't he?

With or without me.

Come on, we all know that, Tony.

So how's he gonna
get away from the Gardas?

It's a good plan.
I think it'll work.

Fair enough.
Tell it to me then.

Come on, trust me with it,
will you?

You know Copeland Grove?

Yeah.

It's a cul-de-sac, right.
With the steps at the end.

Yeah, leading up to Summerhill.

You're gonna drive up there.

How? All together?
One car's no good.

No.

No... a car each,
so you could block the road.

Not bad, if you can pull it off.

Don't see why we can't.

A car will be waiting for you?

Van.

Of course, for the painting.
No, that's not bad.

Alec can move that out
lively enough.

Yeah. Once we get shot of
the Gardass... all we have...

Hold on a minute.

That's where it'll happen.

What?

Oh, you'll get rid of the Gardas
all right.

Easily.

Cos I think they'll be tipped off.

Which is better for Higgins?

To buy some painting
he can't get rid of

or to get all of Michael Lynch's
gang arrested in one go?

Leaving just me for him to
come after in his own good time.

Think about it...

Higgins or Stevie...

who would the smart money be on?

Look, all I'm saying...
whatever happens...

I promise... I'll be waiting.

Come and get me.

oh, you'll get rid of
the Gardas all right.

Easily.

Cos Higgins will
have tipped them off.

The way me and Higgins see it is,

if we're reasonable,
we can divide the work.

Co-operate, let each other know
what we're doing,

that kind of thing, so as we
don't get in each other's way.

Yeah.

While the cops are looking for us,

Higgins is robbing the bank
on Dame Street.

I can't believe what I'm hearing.
Stevie,

I thought we were doing one thing...

unloading the painting

to try and get everything
back to normal Persuade...

Yeah, normal that means no Michael.

Cos he's not normal any more,
is he?

Alec, pull up here.

If anything goes against us...
It'll be nothing to do with me.

Yeah?

It's Tony, you were right, Michael.

Stevie's gone over to Higgins.

Okay... Are you free?
Anyone on to you?

Nah, not a Garda in sight.

Jesus, yes. Right.

Liten, have you found out anything?

Where's Higgins picking up
the painting?

It's Stevie
who's doing the pick-up.

Apparently while he's
collecting the painting...

Higgins is planning to rob a bank.

I think it's some plan
to confuse the Gardas.

Do you know where?

The Metro Bank in Dame Street,
Stevie said.

Jut before mid-day.

All right, here's what you do...

you get there now, fast,
to check it out.

And make sure
you're not being followed.

Yeah.

Ring me in fifteen minutes.

Okay.

Oh, and Tony...
Yeah?

What are you wearing by the way?

Well?

What?

Have you two kissed and made up?

Me and Tony? Oh, yeah, sure.

Good.

Can't be falling out with friends
like him.

Listen girls...

I think I'm gonna be able to
fix things, you know

so you wont' be
walking the streets begging.

Tony and me have come up
with something...

something very tasty.
Like this...

Listen, I gotta go, okay?

Don't worry. It's grand, Michael.

Go on so.
Get out from under our feet.

Wish me luck, girls, there's
a lot of bad people out there.

Hi, da.

Nothing yet, Michael.

Maybe Stevie was bullshitting.

I don't thinkso.
I think we're in business, Tony.

All right, now are you listening?
Yeah.

Here's how it's gonna happen.

You hang around inside the bank.
I'll be outside.

There'll be the usual Gardas
in attendance.

But not so many.

Remember...
Higgins will betray Stevie...

At last we can make
some fucking money on this thing.

So most of the armed units

will be chasing him and Alec
to get the painting.

Now once Higgins' boys arrive...
we're off and running.

I'm disappointed in you, Shay.

Mother of Christ.

That's Shay Kirby.

Let's check it out.

Good morning.
I'd like to apply for a loan.

Thank you.

How's it going, Shay?

Put it down. Drop it.

Put it down, now. Drop it.

Take it easy, Shay.

Put it down!
Now!

Put it down!
Do it. Nice and easy.

Stand up! Turn around!

Against the wall.

Fuck!

Alec, watch the fucking painting.
Jesus Christ.

Don't move a fucking muscle.

Fuck me. What the fuck
are we gonna do, man?

Right,
keep the fucking painting up...

Right, right,
we keep behind the painting.

Why?

Keep behind the fucking painting!

Right, right.
Come on, back we go then.

Right.

Shite!

Go...
Fucking back up.

Drop the guns!

Drop the guns!

What the fuck are we gonna do?

Drop the fucking picture!

Everybody...
On your knees now.

Get down.

You're a fucking arsehole.
What the fuck are we gonna do?

Michael would never have gotten us
into this fucking mess.

Cara-fucking-vaggio.

Fuck art!

All right, Liam, he's safe.

We need back-up.

This is foxtrot one calling...

we request immediate
armed assistance.

We've got a situation here.

All armed units are
chasing that painting!

Fucking bollocks!

What the fuck are you looking at?

All right let's move.

Right, stay there.

You'll have to sign for that boys.

Drop the gun.

Don't... don't fucking shoot me!

Drop the gun.
Nice and easy.

Michael Lynch is involved. This is
a highly dangerous situation.

We're doing our best, but we've
no armed units right now.

For fuck's sake,
we need armed units, now!

Holy shit.

Hope they dont' take that
out of your wages, boss.

Sorry, Noel,
we've got urgent calls.

There's an armed robbery going on
in the Metro Bank in Dame Street.

They're still inside,
and apparently one of the's Lynch.

Fuck!

How the fuck did he...

I've no idea.

Tell them to keep him there.

Whatever they do, keep him there.

Right, Noel.

Come on, lads, out of here.
Come on, move.

Luke, get on to Control.
I want cars down there now.

And get those guys out of the bank.

Michael Lynch talking.
Do you hear me?

I'm coming out.
I'm giving myself up. Okay?

What do you want me to do?

Die, you motherfucker.

Put your hands clearly in the air
and come out slowly.

Okay. Here I come, lads.

Keep walking towards us
until we tell you to stop.

You fellas are gonna be famous
do you know that?

Shoot the fucker.

Put your gun down.

Walk away from it.

You're dead, Lynch,
so's your fucking family.

Shut up.

All right, everyone stand up.
Up, up, now.

Go, move...

What the...?

How are you doing?

Shoot the fucker!

Get down...

Lynch is still in there.

Keep Lynch there
whatever happens.

Repeat, keep Lynch there.

What the fuck now?

Lynch, come out.

Lynch!

Rifle.

What's going on?

Haven't a clue.

But Lynch is still in there.

Good.

Are you out there, Noel?

I know I've been messing
with your lads

and they're probably a bit annoyed.

But this is it.

You have me for real this time.

I'm coming out.

Put the gun down.

Put the fucking weapon down.

Noel... that's it?

Tell his wife to come
and identify the body.

Okay.

Where's Michael?

Tony?

Are you Michael Lynch's wife
Christine?

And you are his sister-in-law
Lisa?

Right.

Would you formally
identify this body

as that of your husband
Michael Lynch?

A nod'll do.

Oh God.

Sure they'd never recognise him
with his head in that state.

I think they will.

What?

Oh yes, of course, right enough.

So, is that him then, girls?

Yes...
this is the body of my husband.

Right...

it's over... well done.

Take it

Give me the fucking mask

Good morning, Jero

Before we go our separate ways,

let us take leave of
our brother Michael.

May our farewell express
our affection for him.

May it ease our sadness
and strengthen our hope.

Lynch would love this send off.

He's probably up there somewhere

having a good laugh at the idea
of us protecting him now.

It was the right thing to do, Noel.

Fuck it, he's dead.

Something between me and him, Ger.

It's the way
these things usually end up.

Now, that's what your mummy
sent you for.

Yeah, she'll pay you tomorrow.

Grand. Mind yourself
crossing that road now.

Okay.

Bye.

Bye.

Hiya.

Hello there.
Lovely day for it huh?

It certainly is.

And how are you today?

Well, now...

Let's see now.

Is that tins of corned beef
you have there?

Yep, ''John West''.
Do you want one?

I'll tell you what,
can you hang on to it for me?

I'll collect it
later on me way back.

Save me lugging it
around on the bike.

Well, of course.
That's a grand bike you have.

I wish I had your speed.

Well, gets me around, you know.

Good luck.

Bye.

Michael, you just can't live
without us, can you?

Bless us, oh, Lord.

And these thy gifts,
which of thy bounty,

we are about to receive
through Christ our Lord, amen.

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