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1
00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:03,201
I don't want to play
a boring old board game.
2
00:00:03,236 --> 00:00:04,636
I'd rather text my friends.
3
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:06,972
Announcer: Now you can do both
with OMGouija!
4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,407
Text with actual dead people.
5
00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,709
♪ Smiley face, smiley poo ♪
6
00:00:10,744 --> 00:00:13,311
♪ The dead are BFFs with you ♪
7
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,348
Ghosts are so cool.
LOL.
8
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:18,683
Grandma! TMI.
9
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:21,486
I didn't do it!
[ Laughs ]
10
00:00:21,521 --> 00:00:23,722
OMGouija.
By Beezel Brothers.
11
00:00:23,757 --> 00:00:25,690
Great, right?
It's great?
12
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:29,327
Eggplant means penis.
[ Laughs ]
13
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,562
I can't believe
that got through.
14
00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,697
Old people having
a sex life is funny.
15
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,199
Yeah, we're not talking
about old people, Gary.
16
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,734
We are talking about
today's youth.
17
00:00:35,769 --> 00:00:39,771
Kids today like to communicate
using "emojis," IMHO.
18
00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:42,441
Yes, sir. You know,
there is nothing cooler
19
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:43,875
than taking
an old board game
20
00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,545
and cynically slapping on
a bunch of trendy shit.
21
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,181
Glad you feel that way, Troy,
because starting tonight,
22
00:00:49,216 --> 00:00:51,216
you are all on OMGouija duty.
23
00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:53,385
[ All groan ]
24
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:54,853
Oh, and I'm not J.K.!
25
00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,990
I am serious as...A.F.
26
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,894
♪♪
27
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:04,763
All right, look alive, people.
Look alive.
28
00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:06,698
It's Saturday night. Listen up.
We've got slumber parties --
29
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,266
a lot of teenage girls
calling in.
30
00:01:08,301 --> 00:01:09,734
Oh, and the church lock-ins --
31
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:11,603
always gonna get a lot
of Ouija out of that.
32
00:01:11,638 --> 00:01:14,139
I'm so psyched for this!
Let's go!
33
00:01:14,174 --> 00:01:16,308
Whoo!
[ Door slams ]
34
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:18,376
Why do they
call it texting
35
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,546
when it's a bunch
of faces and fruits?
36
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:23,548
What they ought to call it
is fruiting!
37
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,217
Yeah, well,
times have changed.
38
00:01:25,252 --> 00:01:26,551
They sure have.
39
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:27,786
Chinamen used to work
on the railroad.
40
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,588
They weren't
laughing then.
41
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:33,725
Look at 'em now,
running the world.
42
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,060
Hey, Amy.
43
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,495
I got you this neat game.
44
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,564
it's Oomoojy.
You can text ghosts with it.
45
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:40,899
Man:
And then maybe after that,
46
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:42,567
you could talk
to some living people.
47
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:43,935
When I was your age,
48
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:47,305
I'd grab a couple pals
and we'd get spooky.
49
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,941
Maybe you can call
some friends...
50
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:52,177
make it a sleepover!
51
00:01:52,212 --> 00:02:00,185
♪♪
52
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,653
Guys.
Guys, it's moving!
53
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,788
Somebody is talking to me.
I'm not doing that.
54
00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:05,323
[ Fart ]
55
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:06,758
What kind of
polluted mind
56
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:09,194
would communicate
a face on excrement?
57
00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:13,698
R...U...Dead?
58
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:16,935
Oh dip!
Okay. Okay.
59
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,970
[ Grunts ]
60
00:02:19,005 --> 00:02:22,107
[ Panting ] Yes. Smiley face
with his tongue out. LOL.
61
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:24,109
[ Chuckles ]
62
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,977
[ Stifled laugh ]
63
00:02:26,012 --> 00:02:28,446
Damn.
64
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,049
[ Gasps ]
It's a lady.
65
00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:32,517
She's at a big party.
What do I do?
66
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:33,885
Dude, she sent me
a kissy face.
67
00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:36,288
Damn, son, she wants you.
Tell her to send a pic.
68
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,556
Send her
the angry Chinaman.
69
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,291
Let her know
you mean business.
70
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,359
Which fruit
denotes wealth?
71
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,962
Grapes. I'm gonna send her
a kissy face.
72
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:47,499
♪ I summon you
by the moonlight ♪
73
00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:49,901
♪ You're the one for me ♪
74
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:55,340
♪♪
75
00:02:55,375 --> 00:03:00,745
♪♪
76
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,347
Thumbs up
on summoning.
77
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,715
Aah!
78
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,218
[ Thunder crashes
and electricity crackling ]
79
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:09,154
Greetings!
[ Laughs evilly ]
80
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,555
Oh, man.
81
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:11,923
You're supposed to be
21 years old.
82
00:03:11,958 --> 00:03:14,392
You said
you were 21 years old.
83
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,261
Okay, well, you were supposed
to be a hunk
84
00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:17,529
with chiseled
good looks.
85
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,830
I am,
and I do have that.
86
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,333
But one of these lies
puts one of us in jail.
87
00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,734
Where are your friends?
88
00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:24,202
I thought there was going to be
like a party in here.
89
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,771
The box says for four
to six players, not just one.
90
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:29,074
I don't really have
any friends, I guess.
91
00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,042
Well, what about
that boyfriend, Cody,
92
00:03:31,077 --> 00:03:33,578
that you kept throwing
in my face?
93
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:38,016
He thinks I'm a...weirdo,
like everyone else does.
94
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:41,019
No, you're not weird.
95
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:44,222
You're just...
incredibly unpopular.
96
00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,857
If you listen to me,
97
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,094
I can make you the most
popular girl in the school.
98
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,695
Wait, really?
Yeah.
99
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:51,930
How?
100
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,966
♪♪
101
00:03:55,001 --> 00:03:57,736
Yeah.
102
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,038
Excuse me.
I won that on eBay.
103
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,474
♪♪
104
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:05,644
[ Grunting, Chuckles ]
Give it up.
105
00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,747
Sorry if I got glass
in your chili there.
106
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:13,385
I will fill up them
bowls courtesy of...The Fatone.
107
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:18,156
♪♪
108
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,931
Are you serious
right now?
109
00:04:26,966 --> 00:04:30,302
Could you be any more obvious,
staring at Cody like that?
110
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:31,236
[ Sputtering ]
Uhh...
111
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,837
What a loser.
112
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:34,572
No one likes you,
Lame-y.
113
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,574
Hey, don't call her Lame-y.
114
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,510
[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God.
115
00:04:38,545 --> 00:04:40,612
Are you Joey Fatone
from N'Sync?
116
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,814
[ Laughs ] Yeah,
you're goddamn right I am.
117
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,317
That's right.
Joey Fatone.
118
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:47,652
Right here in this picture.
That's me. Purple tips.
119
00:04:47,687 --> 00:04:50,088
And I know
Justin Timberlake, too.
120
00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,423
Hey, Amy.
121
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:53,958
♪♪
122
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:57,595
Girl, I feel like
such a fool.
123
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,364
You know what I'm saying?
124
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:00,865
♪ I went and fell in love ♪
125
00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:05,136
♪ With the most popular girl
in school, yeah ♪
126
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:08,707
♪ But, Amy, when we made love
on the kitchen floor ♪
127
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,008
♪ You had me ♪ --
128
00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:12,310
Joey Fatone,
famous singer from N'Sync.
129
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:15,447
♪ Screaming for mooore ♪
130
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:17,782
♪ We made love one time ♪
131
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,551
♪ Two times ♪
132
00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:21,853
♪ Baby you can bet the farm ♪
133
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:25,223
♪ That third time, ooh ♪
134
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,458
♪ Was a charm ♪
135
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,826
[ Click, music stops ]
136
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,294
What are you doing?
Come with me, please.
137
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,729
I'm Joey Fatone.
I'm from N'Sync.
138
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:31,996
I'm Joey Fatone
from N'Sync!
139
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:33,331
I made love
to this little girl!
140
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,067
Wow. Amy's boyfriend's
like 50 years old.
141
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:38,737
And she had sex with him.
Oh, gross.
142
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,038
Slut! Slut! Slut!
143
00:05:40,073 --> 00:05:42,807
[ All chanting "slut" ]
[ Crying ]
144
00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,542
No. No. No. No.
You ruined everything!
145
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:46,978
No, boys love sluts!
It's good!
146
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:49,314
Choose your sexuality!
Own your sexuality!
147
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:51,049
[ Laughter ]
148
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,651
[ Crying ]
149
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:55,987
Okay, so, we had a slight
setback, but we could --
150
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,922
Leave me alone!
Amy, come on.
151
00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:01,092
I wish I'd never even
met you, Gary. Leave!
152
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,094
[ Gags, coughs ]
153
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:05,330
♪♪
154
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,566
[ Crying ]
155
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,435
[ Beeps ]
156
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:13,938
♪♪
157
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,207
Look, I didn't have sexwith any underage girl.
158
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:18,009
I wasn't even in Oklahomaon the day in the question.
159
00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:21,780
I made a promise to Amy
to help her get more popular,
160
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:23,448
but, instead,
Amy is miserable,
161
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:26,418
and I got Joey Fatone
arrested for statutory rape --
162
00:06:26,453 --> 00:06:27,952
not even real rape!
163
00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:30,855
Been there. The middle-school
years are so awkward.
164
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:35,026
That's why I like my boys...
"elementary, dear Watson."
165
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,594
[ Laughing ]
166
00:06:36,629 --> 00:06:39,030
He turns everything
back to that.
167
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,532
I've got it.
168
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,767
Instead of making
Amy more popular,
169
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,069
we make everybody else
less popular.
170
00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:47,472
Yeah, 'cause you're
way better at that.
171
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,040
Thank you.
172
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,875
Not really a compliment,
but okay.
173
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,444
I'm taking it
as a compliment.
174
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:55,480
Honey, do you want
to talk about Joey Fatone?
175
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,048
Mom, I don't even know
who he is.
176
00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,883
Because he can go
straight to hell.
177
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,385
Roger, please.
178
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,254
Are you sure you don't want
to go to the big dance tonight?
179
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:05,123
Not with Joey Fatone,
she won't.
180
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,392
Boom! Amy O'Ryan,
you're under arrest.
181
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,827
We found the drugs.
You in trouble.
182
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,895
Now hold on here!
Do you have a warrant?
183
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,597
Here's my warrant.
[ Spray hisses ]
184
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,232
[ Screaming ]
185
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,468
Now, get up against the wall
and spread 'em, you...parents.
186
00:07:16,503 --> 00:07:18,803
[ Man sobbing ]
Come on. Come on.
187
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,805
Ow. You're
hurting me!
188
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,240
Don't struggle.
189
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:23,842
You don't want to mess up
your hair for the, uh...
190
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,077
big dance.
Gary!
191
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,679
I told you
to leave me alone.
192
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:29,514
Yeah, but now
I'm making up for it.
193
00:07:29,549 --> 00:07:31,416
I don't even have
a date.
194
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,784
Oh, yes, you do.
195
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,786
[ Muffled screaming ]
196
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,754
You excited
to see Amy?
197
00:07:36,789 --> 00:07:42,260
♪♪
198
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,294
Amy?
199
00:07:43,329 --> 00:07:45,663
Oh, Miranda,
I didn't see you there.
200
00:07:45,698 --> 00:07:47,866
How did you get Cody
to be your date?
201
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,435
At gunpoint?
[ Laughter ]
202
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,971
What are you looking at,
you fat, bloated assface?
203
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,006
I was just thinking
you're breaking out.
204
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:57,609
You might want
to pop that.
205
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,777
[ Crackling ]
206
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:02,814
Oh, my...gosh.
207
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:04,782
Attention!
Excuse me, ma'am.
208
00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:06,217
Attention,
everyone.
209
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:09,287
As a lawful police officer,
it is my lawful duty
210
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,989
to name the king and queen
of the prom.
211
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:16,461
Your king and queen are...
Cody Moore and Amy O'Ryan!
212
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,296
Congratulations, kids.
213
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,065
I am so jealous of you
right now.
214
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,800
And you are
a dreamboat.
215
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:26,304
A little old for my taste.
Go get her.
216
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,239
[ Blows gently ]
217
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:31,676
♪♪
218
00:08:31,711 --> 00:08:34,546
[ Crackling ]
219
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:36,147
What is happening?
220
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,415
[ Scoffs ]
I'm so sorry.
221
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,716
Please don't kill me.
222
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:40,318
Now, as a police officer,
223
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,154
I order the king and queen
to kiss each other.
224
00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:46,057
♪♪
225
00:08:46,092 --> 00:08:49,327
She's a witch! She's a witch,
and we all know it!
226
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,663
[ Coughing, retches ]
227
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,765
♪♪
228
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,367
[ Girl screams ]
229
00:08:56,402 --> 00:09:01,940
♪♪
230
00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:03,675
What did you do?!
231
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:06,010
I'm giving them all the plague.
This app is great.
232
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,346
What's wrong with zits?
You're blowing this!
233
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:10,682
I'm not the one who made them
fly up in the sky!
234
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,183
Like that's
not a red flag?!
235
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,352
I don't know when
they're gonna come down.
236
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,521
[ Siren wails ]
She's a witch!
237
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,690
Get her away from me!
She's a murderer!
238
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,358
He's damaged.
239
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:21,859
What the hell
do I tell her now?
240
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,127
I mean,
well, technically,
241
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:25,029
she is the most popular girl
in school.
242
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,965
That's because all
the other girls are dead!
243
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,366
Benji: Look!
She made a friend.
244
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,436
Oh, she's popular
with the Goths!
245
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:34,305
That is every
unpopular kid's plan "B."
246
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,940
I did it!
247
00:09:35,975 --> 00:09:38,276
Hey, what's going on?
I hate to interrupt.
248
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,979
Hail Satan.
Looks like my work here is done.
249
00:09:41,014 --> 00:09:43,047
I'll see you soon, BFF.
250
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,150
Best friend forever!
251
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,987
Okay.
252
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:50,388
Too cool to acknowledge
my existence.
253
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,157
That's cool.
Too cool to acknowledge me.
254
00:09:53,192 --> 00:09:54,926
Fine.
255
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,397
So, in
the fourth quarter --
256
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,898
[ Loudly clears throat ]
257
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,600
Bagged and tagged her.
258
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:05,937
Another soul for Satan's army,
if it does please thee?
259
00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,438
Hail him.
[ Chuckles ]
260
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,907
Great, Gary. I'm sure you got
her parents' permission?
261
00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,309
What?
262
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:14,112
Gary, in order for a minor
to sell their soul,
263
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,980
they need written
parental permission...
What?!
264
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:17,949
...but I'm sure
you knew that.
265
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,485
You asked us --
You asked us to go for tweens!
266
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:23,755
What parent is gonna damn their
child to eternal damnation?!
267
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,190
I don't -- I'm just asking
for some consistency!
268
00:10:26,225 --> 00:10:29,127
It's okay because I owe Gary
a debt of gratitude,
269
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,495
because he has brought me
some new demons
270
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:33,698
that are masters
at psychological torture.
271
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,001
Come on in, girls!
272
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:40,638
God, this office is
so outdated.
273
00:10:40,673 --> 00:10:42,140
You can't afford
new furniture?
274
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,642
[ Laughs ]
Wow. Nice glasses.
275
00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:46,277
Did your mom get those
from the trash can
276
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,680
that you were born in?
[ Gasps ]
277
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:51,049
Serial killer.
278
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,850
Did you eat your hair?
279
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:54,485
Hey, Gollum,
you ever find the ring?
280
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,456
Look, it's Edward Stupidhands.
Johnny Derp.
281
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,025
Wow, you must be
Grumpy Cat's grandfather.
282
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,995
You're not even
worth insulting.
283
00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:06,197
You're like
an unfunny Jim Gaffigan.
284
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,366
Okay, that's not --
that's not funny.
285
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:11,169
You're like uh...an unfamous,
poor man's Seth Rogen.
286
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,637
I don't, I --
That is not funny.
287
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,305
That is below the belt.
And that's inappropriate.
288
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,441
-Zach Gala-fatass.
-I feel like this should stop.
20388
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