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00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
00:00:08,690 --> 00:00:11,689
So I don't think I can do those things.
2
00:00:11,690 --> 00:00:14,440
I thought the same thing
when I first joined CrossFit,
3
00:00:14,450 --> 00:00:16,279
but I bet you'll surprise yourself.
4
00:00:16,280 --> 00:00:18,079
I know you have the stamina.
5
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:23,119
Well, I have a very inspiring coach.
6
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,090
Do your best, all right.
7
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:25,669
I want this to be our thing.
8
00:00:25,670 --> 00:00:27,370
It's a lot of fun, okay?
9
00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:28,789
- Okay.
- Okay.
10
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:34,349
All right, listen up, class.
11
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,549
Today's workout is IDA.
12
00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:38,049
- I hate IDA.
- Who's Ida?
13
00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:41,389
IDA is a mean, cold-hearted bitch.
14
00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:44,439
IDA will find your weak
spots and exploit them.
15
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,979
IDA is 500 sit-ups, 200 burpees,
16
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,899
100 Olympic clean and presses,
17
00:00:48,900 --> 00:00:50,479
then the three timed heats.
18
00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:51,699
Don't worry.
19
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:53,480
It sounds worse than it actually is.
20
00:00:53,490 --> 00:00:56,149
Now, I'm required by our lawyers
to read this statement aloud.
21
00:00:56,150 --> 00:00:57,700
"This is a strenuous workout.
22
00:00:57,710 --> 00:00:59,319
"And we are not scaling in here.
23
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,570
"So if you're 40 or older,
24
00:01:00,580 --> 00:01:02,160
proceed at your own risk."
25
00:01:08,050 --> 00:01:09,579
All right, guys. Spread out.
26
00:01:10,443 --> 00:01:11,750
Burpees.
27
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:26,319
☯Synced & Corrected by Seppuku17☯
❃www.MY-SUBS.com❃
28
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,599
She-donism,
29
00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:28,899
the latest soon-to-be best seller
30
00:01:28,900 --> 00:01:31,189
by our very own Annabelle Bancroft.
31
00:01:31,190 --> 00:01:32,989
Annabelle will be doing Andy Cohen tonight
32
00:01:32,990 --> 00:01:34,359
and Hoda and Kathie Lee tomorrow
33
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,109
before heading off on her ten-city book tour.
34
00:01:36,110 --> 00:01:38,029
I just want to say I
read the book last night,
35
00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:39,199
loved it.
36
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,699
For those of you who
haven't seen the galleys,
37
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,199
the book is about three best friends,
38
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,369
all recently divorced,
39
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,249
who make a slut pact never to remarry.
40
00:01:45,250 --> 00:01:47,369
Marketing has created
t-shirts to be given away
41
00:01:47,370 --> 00:01:48,959
at point of purchase
42
00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:51,459
and at the She-donism book
launch party tomorrow night.
43
00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:52,630
Liza.
44
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,929
I'd like to bring Anton Bjornberg.
45
00:01:57,930 --> 00:02:00,380
He's alone here. His family's in Sweden.
46
00:02:00,390 --> 00:02:02,939
Also, he'd get to see what to
expect for his own launch party.
47
00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:04,219
By all means, invite him.
48
00:02:04,220 --> 00:02:05,389
Thank you.
49
00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:07,220
Just don't give him false expectations
50
00:02:07,230 --> 00:02:08,779
about his own book launch.
51
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:11,140
Not everyone can have champagne
in fur-wrapped bottles.
52
00:02:14,730 --> 00:02:17,230
I need you to double confirm the RSVP list
53
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,489
and make sure Anderson Cooper's office knows
54
00:02:19,490 --> 00:02:20,900
we will be sending a car for him
55
00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:22,239
and his hot Latin boyfriend.
56
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,909
Done and done.
57
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,829
And Annabelle insists that all
the vodka tomorrow night...
58
00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,579
Organic and gluten-free. Got it.
59
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:28,909
Are you limping? What's wrong?
60
00:02:28,910 --> 00:02:30,410
I need you not crippled right now.
61
00:02:30,420 --> 00:02:31,749
I'm sorry.
62
00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,079
I took a CrossFit class this morning,
63
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,330
and I think I tore my... Everything.
64
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:36,389
Liza, when I was your age, I could run a 10K
65
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,920
and rehydrate with White Russians.
66
00:02:41,090 --> 00:02:43,590
Oh, God, help us.
67
00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:45,399
She's smoking in my office.
68
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:50,769
Sweetie.
69
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,149
Annabelle.
70
00:02:52,150 --> 00:02:55,159
Oh, nobody told me you were here.
71
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,939
I have some concerns about tomorrow night.
72
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:58,689
I saw the media alert for the party.
73
00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:00,940
And, frankly, I'm not happy.
74
00:03:00,950 --> 00:03:03,160
Annabelle, it's going to be a fantastic event
75
00:03:03,170 --> 00:03:06,119
in one of the hottest clubs
in the Meatpacking District.
76
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,699
Which would all be just so exciting
77
00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:09,289
if this was 2003.
78
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:12,209
Why not just go all the way
and invite Paris Hilton?
79
00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:14,039
She passed...
80
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,589
because she wasn't invited.
81
00:03:15,590 --> 00:03:17,429
Sweetie, you're phoning it in.
82
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:20,260
This party should be somewhere interesting,
83
00:03:20,270 --> 00:03:22,629
like in an industrial shipping container
84
00:03:22,630 --> 00:03:24,299
or some skanky club in Brooklyn.
85
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,300
Liza lives in Brooklyn.
86
00:03:25,301 --> 00:03:26,639
- Who?
- Liza.
87
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,889
My assistant, Liza. She lives in Brooklyn.
88
00:03:28,890 --> 00:03:30,359
Uh, yes, that's right.
89
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:31,559
I... I live in Williamsburg.
90
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,309
Is that the t-shirt?
91
00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,310
Annabelle Bancroft.
92
00:03:35,311 --> 00:03:38,449
It is so nice to meet you, Liza.
93
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:40,980
Annabelle, may I just say
what a fan I am of your work.
94
00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:42,399
I've read all your books.
95
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,789
I loved Mantastic and Goldman Sex.
96
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:48,739
Liza, just what are we
gonna do about this party?
97
00:03:48,740 --> 00:03:51,079
I spent the last year like a little mouse
98
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,879
in my little mouse house typing and typing,
99
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,079
and now I just want to have a good time.
100
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,080
Of course. That's what we're here for.
101
00:03:58,090 --> 00:04:00,000
I want this party to be epic.
102
00:04:00,010 --> 00:04:02,219
I want hot men and live peacocks
103
00:04:02,220 --> 00:04:04,009
and young people that no one would ever think
104
00:04:04,010 --> 00:04:05,509
to invite to something like this,
105
00:04:05,510 --> 00:04:06,729
because they're under the radar
106
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:08,340
and much too interesting to bother.
107
00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:09,759
They're on the cusp.
108
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:11,479
Do you know what I'm saying, Liza?
109
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:13,069
Um, yes, yes, I do.
110
00:04:13,070 --> 00:04:14,730
You want cusp-ers,
111
00:04:14,740 --> 00:04:16,189
young cusp-ers.
112
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:17,939
She knows what I'm talking about.
113
00:04:17,940 --> 00:04:20,820
Liza is my secret weapon for
all things youth culture.
114
00:04:20,830 --> 00:04:22,659
She's dating a tattoo artist.
115
00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:24,529
Uh, yes, that's true.
116
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:25,909
He's pretty amazing.
117
00:04:25,910 --> 00:04:27,449
He's invited.
118
00:04:27,450 --> 00:04:29,279
Liza's going to step up
and really take charge
119
00:04:29,280 --> 00:04:32,119
of making sure this party
is fun, young, and hot.
120
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:35,259
In fact, I'm going to make her run point
121
00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:36,260
for the party tomorrow.
122
00:04:36,261 --> 00:04:37,289
Me?
123
00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:38,539
Oh, wow.
124
00:04:38,540 --> 00:04:40,929
Oh, God, please tell me
you're not one of those
125
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,260
earnest millenials who's
never had a cigarette
126
00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:45,129
and thinks her parents are heroes.
127
00:04:45,130 --> 00:04:47,270
Nope. Definitely not.
128
00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:56,479
Guess who's just been
promoted to point person
129
00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:57,559
on the She-donism party?
130
00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:58,699
What?
131
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:00,060
Diana is giving up control?
132
00:05:00,070 --> 00:05:02,569
Annabelle wants a younger vibe.
133
00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:03,980
Of course she does.
134
00:05:03,990 --> 00:05:05,739
I'm sure she also has some young intern
135
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,900
writing her tweets.
136
00:05:06,910 --> 00:05:08,400
It's really amazing to me
137
00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:10,789
the way this older generation
just totally exploits us
138
00:05:10,790 --> 00:05:11,909
to try to seem relevant.
139
00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:13,379
Uh, totally.
140
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:14,959
We should file a class-action lawsuit
141
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,329
on behalf of exploited youth.
142
00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:17,799
Right?
143
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:20,130
And then use that money to
pay for their Social Security,
144
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:22,340
which will go totally bankrupt
by the time we need it.
145
00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:29,340
Everything okay?
146
00:05:29,341 --> 00:05:31,729
Uh, I... I don't know.
147
00:05:31,730 --> 00:05:33,810
It's my ex...
148
00:05:33,820 --> 00:05:35,929
my exercise instructor.
149
00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:37,319
He's worried about me.
150
00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,269
That is so nice of him to check in on you.
151
00:05:39,270 --> 00:05:41,850
Yeah, I mean, it was a
really strenuous class.
152
00:05:41,860 --> 00:05:43,159
Um, you know what,
153
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,439
why don't you go to lunch without me.
154
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,189
I'm gonna let him know that I'm okay.
155
00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:47,110
Okay.
156
00:06:05,010 --> 00:06:06,710
David.
157
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:07,799
Liza.
158
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,680
Thanks for coming.
159
00:06:10,690 --> 00:06:11,799
You look great.
160
00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,189
- Thank you.
- Sit down.
161
00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:14,639
I can only stay for a few minutes.
162
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:15,809
Yeah.
163
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:18,139
Can we...
164
00:06:18,140 --> 00:06:20,109
So she'll have French roast, low-fat milk,
165
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:25,310
toasted scooped bagel and
a side of sliced cucumbers.
166
00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:26,150
I forgot.
167
00:06:26,151 --> 00:06:28,069
Hm, just the coffee, please.
168
00:06:28,070 --> 00:06:30,150
Yeah?
169
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,819
All right, what's the emergency, David?
170
00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:33,069
Oh, okay, so, um...
171
00:06:33,070 --> 00:06:34,289
I just have to ask you a favor.
172
00:06:34,290 --> 00:06:35,659
It's not gonna cost you a dime.
173
00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:37,159
What kind of favor?
174
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:39,499
I just want to sign over the
title of The Liza to you.
175
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,910
What? Why?
176
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:45,669
Just so we can keep it safe.
177
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:47,050
Did you gamble away the boat?
178
00:06:47,060 --> 00:06:48,469
Lo...
179
00:06:48,470 --> 00:06:50,920
A guy who hasn't fumbled in his entire career
180
00:06:50,930 --> 00:06:52,729
fumbles twice in one game.
181
00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,340
How is that even possible?
182
00:06:54,350 --> 00:06:55,759
David, what did I say when I moved out?
183
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,010
I'm not asking for money.
184
00:06:57,020 --> 00:06:58,929
It's just... It... Just some paperwork.
185
00:06:58,930 --> 00:07:00,569
Why don't you ask your girlfriend?
186
00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:05,689
She's proving to be less than sympathetic.
187
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:09,079
Does she not know about this?
188
00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,409
Liza, I hate asking you this.
189
00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:14,160
I know how difficult
I've made things for you.
190
00:07:14,170 --> 00:07:16,249
It's just, this boat means a lot to me.
191
00:07:16,250 --> 00:07:20,500
It's the last thing that I have...
192
00:07:20,510 --> 00:07:21,700
from us.
193
00:07:21,710 --> 00:07:24,039
Just... just think about it.
194
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,679
Okay. I'll think about it.
195
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,259
Oh, yeah. I got this.
196
00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,260
I got it.
197
00:07:28,261 --> 00:07:29,299
Thank you.
198
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,260
Yeah.
199
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,550
Actually, do you have a single?
200
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:41,220
I can't believe we're practically divorced,
201
00:07:41,230 --> 00:07:42,979
and he's still pulling this crap.
202
00:07:42,980 --> 00:07:46,229
Then I see him, and it's like
this old feeling kicks in,
203
00:07:46,230 --> 00:07:47,699
like I want to take care of him.
204
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:50,619
Well, I, for one, say take the boat, sell it,
205
00:07:50,620 --> 00:07:52,030
and keep the money.
206
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,119
Maggie, that boat is practically worthless.
207
00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,659
Half my memories are of the two of us
208
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:56,909
bailing the damn thing out.
209
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,409
Well, then, why does David want it?
210
00:07:58,410 --> 00:07:59,709
I don't know.
211
00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:02,299
It's like that boat is
that one connection he has
212
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:05,249
with the man he used to be
213
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,999
and I think would like to be again.
214
00:08:10,340 --> 00:08:12,139
Annabelle says she's gonna slit her wrists
215
00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:14,089
if there's any fluorescent
lighting at the party,
216
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:16,229
and she wants to approve
all the waiters' head shots.
217
00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,929
What a demanding bitch.
218
00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:19,559
Can't wait to see my gift bag.
219
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:20,649
Uh. Ow.
220
00:08:20,650 --> 00:08:21,650
Are you okay?
221
00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:22,769
Uh, yeah.
222
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:23,899
I may have ruptured my groin.
223
00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,739
It's a small price.
224
00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:27,400
See you later. Okay. Yeah.
225
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:34,490
No, no, I don't need a
peahen. I need a peacock.
226
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:36,449
Cock!
227
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,449
I need at least three of the biggest,
228
00:08:38,450 --> 00:08:40,749
most beautiful cocks you have.
229
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:41,750
Liza.
230
00:08:41,751 --> 00:08:44,089
Come in my office.
231
00:08:44,090 --> 00:08:45,590
I'm gonna have to call you back, sir.
232
00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:51,129
Liza, I hope you realize the
opportunity I'm giving you.
233
00:08:51,130 --> 00:08:52,709
- I do, Diana.
- Good.
234
00:08:52,710 --> 00:08:56,019
Because my assistants don't
stay assistants very long.
235
00:08:56,020 --> 00:08:57,719
They move up, or they move out.
236
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,519
I'm going to be following
this party very carefully...
237
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:02,390
on Twitter.
238
00:09:02,391 --> 00:09:04,059
What... you're not gonna be there?
239
00:09:04,060 --> 00:09:05,559
I have known Annabelle
240
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,690
since she was writing
sex tips for Cosmopolitan
241
00:09:07,700 --> 00:09:09,029
back when I was your age.
242
00:09:09,030 --> 00:09:10,529
- Seriously?
- Mm.
243
00:09:10,530 --> 00:09:12,619
She used to be my closest friend.
244
00:09:12,620 --> 00:09:13,949
We were wild.
245
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:15,949
She was always trying to
get us to have a three-way
246
00:09:15,950 --> 00:09:17,039
with Jay Mclnerney.
247
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:18,539
What happened?
248
00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:21,039
Well, I got serious about my career,
249
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,079
but for Annabelle, the party never stopped.
250
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,879
I've tried to get her into rehab.
251
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:27,160
There is only so much you can
do for people who need help,
252
00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:29,249
but won't get it.
253
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:31,419
Well, sometimes people need a second chance.
254
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:33,719
I don't carry deadweight well
255
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,089
in my personal life
256
00:09:35,090 --> 00:09:37,309
or in my office.
257
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:38,640
Good luck tonight.
258
00:09:58,470 --> 00:09:59,849
Laurent, I'm so sorry.
259
00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:01,180
I don't see your name on the list.
260
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:02,299
What's the last name?
261
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:04,600
It's just Laurent.
262
00:10:04,610 --> 00:10:07,720
Never mind...
263
00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:08,809
Hey.
264
00:10:08,810 --> 00:10:09,979
Oh, my gosh. You look amazing.
265
00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:11,229
Thanks. You too. How's it going?
266
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:12,449
Oh, so far, so good.
267
00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:14,060
I just wish people were tweeting more.
268
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:15,319
I really need you to post something cool,
269
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:16,449
like, every five minutes.
270
00:10:16,450 --> 00:10:17,649
Okay, but can I send it as,
271
00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,489
like, an email attachment instead?
272
00:10:19,490 --> 00:10:20,650
No.
273
00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:22,659
Uh, just go find a hot girl
with a Twitter account.
274
00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:24,489
All right, well, then, she made a list.
275
00:10:24,490 --> 00:10:27,459
Wait a second. Courtney Austin is here?
276
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,549
Yeah, she's, like, the Martha
Stewart of beauty blogs.
277
00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:31,710
Oh, yeah, I've had a thing
for that woman for years.
278
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:32,999
I mean, like, seriously,
279
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,049
vivid dreams... Absolutely filthy.
280
00:10:35,050 --> 00:10:37,389
And I hear she's finally single.
281
00:10:37,390 --> 00:10:39,469
- Excuse me.
- Okay.
282
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:41,009
- Lauren, hey.
- Hey.
283
00:10:41,010 --> 00:10:43,229
You told me to bring people.
I brought my whole list.
284
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:45,599
So you don't have to worry about your list.
285
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,179
Trust me. My list is much better.
286
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:50,849
Oh, my God. You got peacocks.
287
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,349
That is so awesome.
288
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,689
Yeah, and make sure to tweet about it
289
00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:54,690
and tag your friends,
290
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:57,859
Relax. They'll tweet.
291
00:10:57,860 --> 00:10:59,359
- Liza.
- Annabelle.
292
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,359
Are you having fun? Katie Holmes is here.
293
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:03,610
I just got the most disturbing text.
294
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:06,249
Somebody turned away my
coke dealer at the door.
295
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,169
Hey, party girl.
296
00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:10,039
Josh! Hi.
297
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,009
Uh, Annabelle, this is Josh.
298
00:11:13,010 --> 00:11:14,089
Annabelle, nice to meet you.
299
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:16,929
Okay, he is very hot.
300
00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:18,679
And it's my party,
301
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:22,019
so every hot man here is
my property for the night.
302
00:11:22,020 --> 00:11:23,719
Come on, Josh.
303
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:26,389
Let's get those tats a drink.
304
00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:29,889
Oh, is that a dolphin?
305
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:33,890
And where is that naughty
little dolphin diving to?
306
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:38,450
Hello, Flipper.
307
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:46,739
Hey, Courtney. Hi.
308
00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,579
- Maggie.
- I heard you were here.
309
00:11:48,580 --> 00:11:49,739
What a surprise.
310
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:50,740
Wow, you look beautiful.
311
00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:51,710
Thank you.
312
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,629
I'm so sorry about you and Susie.
313
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:55,749
You guys were together for so long.
314
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:56,880
Five years.
315
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:58,419
But it's all for the better, really.
316
00:11:58,420 --> 00:11:59,749
We wanted different things.
317
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:00,969
Mm.
318
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,889
So does this mean I can
finally ask you out on a date?
319
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,309
Maggie, I would love that.
320
00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:09,429
But, first, I really need to find a bathroom.
321
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:11,429
Oh, wow. You're pregnant.
322
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:12,769
Oh, I thought you knew...
323
00:12:12,770 --> 00:12:14,099
With twins!
324
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:15,269
Oh.
325
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:17,019
Don't move.
326
00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:25,829
So will I have a book party like this?
327
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:27,199
Mm.
328
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,949
Would you like a book party like this?
329
00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:30,619
Absolutely not.
330
00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,419
You look beautiful tonight.
331
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:39,289
Anton, I hope that you didn't sign with me
332
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:40,759
for the wrong reasons.
333
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,599
Do you really believe
that I would put my book
334
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,210
in the hands of anyone other
than an extraordinary editor?
335
00:12:45,220 --> 00:12:46,930
I would hope not.
336
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,889
But you cannot deny that
there is an attraction.
337
00:12:48,890 --> 00:12:52,309
No.
338
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,189
I just...
339
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:58,229
don't want us becoming confused
about what's really important.
340
00:12:58,230 --> 00:13:02,319
I believe it was Fitzgerald who said that,
341
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,649
"The test of a first-rate intelligence
342
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:07,319
"is the ability to hold two opposed ideas
343
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:08,489
in mind at the same time."
344
00:13:08,490 --> 00:13:10,289
I think it's highly possible
345
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,790
that F. Scott Fitzgerald was drunk
346
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:14,790
when he said that.
347
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,719
I wanted to say from the bottom of my heart,
348
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,169
thank you, all, so much for coming tonight.
349
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:29,059
She-donism is more than a book.
350
00:13:29,060 --> 00:13:30,809
It's a bible.
351
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,809
There's only one commandment:
352
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:33,849
Close your hearts,
353
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:36,179
and open your legs for everything
354
00:13:36,180 --> 00:13:37,849
life has to offer!
355
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,149
Ha ha, Annabelle.
356
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:42,489
Oh, your unique sense
of humor is what is sure
357
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,440
to make She-donism
358
00:13:43,441 --> 00:13:45,689
your next best seller.
359
00:13:45,690 --> 00:13:48,859
Oh, my God. I see my dealer.
360
00:13:48,860 --> 00:13:50,750
Laurent!
361
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:55,919
Oh, my God.
362
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,039
Are you okay?
363
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,040
Yeah, I'm good.
364
00:13:58,041 --> 00:13:59,539
Okay, hi, Laurent...
365
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:01,339
All right, okay, yeah. It's still glass.
366
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,959
Go around. It's okay.
367
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,179
It's okay.
368
00:14:04,180 --> 00:14:05,379
Don't tweet that.
369
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:06,930
What?
370
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,629
Maggie, have you seen Annabelle?
371
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:19,879
No, but I did find Courtney.
372
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:20,969
She's nine months pregnant.
373
00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:22,299
She wants me to take her home
374
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:23,419
so we can bang each other's brains out.
375
00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:25,219
Apparently, double the hormones,
376
00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:26,220
double the horny.
377
00:14:26,221 --> 00:14:27,439
Wow. Good for her.
378
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,059
All I cared about in my last trimester
379
00:14:29,060 --> 00:14:30,609
was fried chicken and my doughnut pillow.
380
00:14:30,610 --> 00:14:32,279
Listen, can you stay at Josh's tonight?
381
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:33,860
Sure. Are you gonna go for it?
382
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:36,229
Why not? You know, sometimes
life gives you what you ask for.
383
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:39,149
But just... it's just not
the way you pictured it.
384
00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:41,619
Besides, her tits are huge now.
385
00:14:41,620 --> 00:14:43,489
Oh, all right.
386
00:14:43,490 --> 00:14:44,410
Did you see this?
387
00:14:44,411 --> 00:14:46,629
Annabelle is a Vine.
388
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:50,379
Oh, my God.
389
00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:51,629
- How do we take that down?
- Take it down?
390
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:53,219
You can't buy this kind of publicity.
391
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:55,299
Believe me. I have tried.
392
00:14:55,300 --> 00:14:56,669
Oh, mop and bucket... I got to go.
393
00:14:56,670 --> 00:14:58,589
That's got Annabelle written all over it.
394
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:02,509
Stay.
395
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,480
Okay.
396
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,849
Oh, God. Oh, God.
397
00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:08,979
Oh...
398
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,599
Diana?
399
00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,739
I saw everything on Twitter.
This party is a disaster.
400
00:15:12,740 --> 00:15:14,519
No, no, it's not a disaster.
401
00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,939
We have thousands of
retweets, and we're a Vine...
402
00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:20,239
A trending Vine.
403
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,109
You're welcome.
404
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,199
Let's just get her out of
here before she kills herself.
405
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:27,619
Is that Diana? Dirty Diana.
406
00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:31,839
Oh, let's go to Club
Shelter and dance in a cage.
407
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:32,919
Shut up. I'm taking you home.
408
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:35,120
You used to be fun.
409
00:15:35,130 --> 00:15:38,459
I still love you, Grandma.
410
00:15:38,460 --> 00:15:42,260
Oh, okay, let's get her
out the back door quietly.
411
00:15:42,270 --> 00:15:43,799
You're a really good friend.
412
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,799
No, a good friend would stop bailing her out
413
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,139
and let her hit rock bottom.
414
00:15:47,140 --> 00:15:48,939
This is professional. She is my author.
415
00:15:48,940 --> 00:15:50,389
Now let's get her out of here
416
00:15:50,390 --> 00:15:51,970
while she still has her underwear on.
417
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:53,979
Hoist. Oh, God.
418
00:15:53,980 --> 00:15:55,899
I still have my underwear on?
419
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:58,560
This was a terrible party.
420
00:15:58,570 --> 00:16:02,819
Liza, why did so many
Amish move to Williamsburg?
421
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:04,989
They're not Amish. They're Hasidic.
422
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:06,159
But they're all wearing Prada.
423
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,489
How do they afford it?
424
00:16:07,490 --> 00:16:09,239
What do they all do for a living?
425
00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:11,079
They're not wearing Prada.
That's just how they dress.
426
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:12,379
Get her in the car
427
00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:14,210
before she chokes on her hair extensions.
428
00:16:14,220 --> 00:16:16,329
I ordered a white Town
car with beige interior.
429
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:18,130
All right, let's get you
buckled up for safety.
430
00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,549
Be careful with your hands, sweetie.
431
00:16:19,550 --> 00:16:21,300
They're a dead giveaway.
432
00:16:25,390 --> 00:16:26,839
This is your purse.
433
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:29,349
When you throw up, you
throw up straight into it.
434
00:16:29,350 --> 00:16:31,150
- Understand?
- Understand what?
435
00:16:36,940 --> 00:16:38,100
Miss Winehouse left her shoes...
436
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:39,409
Oh, that's all right.
437
00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:40,989
I'll bring them to her doorman later.
438
00:16:40,990 --> 00:16:43,239
- Okay.
- Okay.
439
00:16:43,240 --> 00:16:44,829
Club Shelter, please.
440
00:16:44,830 --> 00:16:47,500
- No.
- Whoo!
441
00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:55,999
Huh.
442
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,869
I haven't been off my feet
for the last 17 hours.
443
00:16:57,870 --> 00:17:00,669
It was fun visiting you at work, though.
444
00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,369
You are such a good sport.
445
00:17:02,370 --> 00:17:04,839
It was very entertaining.
446
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,339
Make it stop.
447
00:17:06,340 --> 00:17:07,429
I can't see it.
448
00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:08,679
It's awful.
449
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,299
You know, I figured out what her problem is.
450
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,469
What's that?
451
00:17:12,470 --> 00:17:14,549
That she won't act her age.
452
00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:16,439
I mean, she's clearly in her 40s.
453
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:18,559
She acts like she's in her 20s.
454
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:22,559
I mean, why would people do that?
455
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:26,860
I think some women feel a little...
456
00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:28,569
I don't know... Lost
457
00:17:28,570 --> 00:17:31,030
when they turn 40.
458
00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:34,119
You know, there's a lot
of pressure to be young.
459
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:37,909
I wonder what we're gonna be like in our 40s.
460
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:41,040
I think I'm gonna be a lot like I am now.
461
00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:42,749
Me too.
462
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:44,749
Ow. CrossFit.
463
00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,419
The more you do it, the less it hurts.
464
00:17:46,420 --> 00:17:47,720
Sure.
465
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,069
Did you see?
466
00:18:05,070 --> 00:18:08,689
Finally fixed the bimini top.
467
00:18:08,690 --> 00:18:11,439
I can't take the title, David.
468
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,829
Sure you can.
469
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,440
And you can use the boat whenever you want.
470
00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:16,499
They still do fireworks
out here on the Fourth.
471
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:18,529
No, I can't keep bailing you out.
472
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,030
It isn't helping you.
473
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:21,419
If I'd stopped a long time ago,
474
00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:23,369
maybe things wouldn't have gotten this bad.
475
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:24,700
Things aren't that bad.
476
00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:26,209
I just hit a rough spot. That's all.
477
00:18:26,210 --> 00:18:27,789
I'm gonna turn it around. You'll see.
478
00:18:27,790 --> 00:18:30,790
I'm not gonna take the boat, David.
479
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,009
But I'll lose her.
480
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,960
I know.
481
00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:36,469
Wow.
482
00:18:36,470 --> 00:18:40,050
It's like you turned into this
completely different person.
483
00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:46,279
Maybe I have.
484
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,190
Good luck, David.
485
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,659
- Hey.
- Hey.
486
00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:04,709
Did you get the tablet art
for the Happy Vegan Cookbook?
487
00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:06,159
Uh, yeah, I'll forward it to you.
488
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:07,379
Thanks.
489
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:11,249
So are we just not gonna
talk about Bjornberg?
490
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,139
I saw you guys last night at the party.
491
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:15,639
Oh.
492
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,759
And Diana almost saw you too.
493
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,979
Yikes. All right.
494
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:21,090
I will be more discreet.
495
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:22,849
I don't think it's discretion
496
00:19:22,850 --> 00:19:24,179
that's the issue.
497
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:26,730
I don't think I need a lecture right now.
498
00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:29,689
Kelsey, I'm only saying this
because I care about you.
499
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:30,850
And you're too smart to be known
500
00:19:30,860 --> 00:19:33,019
as the editor who sleeps with her author.
501
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:35,109
Okay, Liza, I know that you care.
502
00:19:35,110 --> 00:19:36,909
But I know what I'm doing.
503
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:40,029
And you're not my mother.
504
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:42,329
You know what, you're right.
505
00:19:42,330 --> 00:19:43,280
I'm sorry.
506
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:46,120
I am so totally not your mother.
507
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:53,209
Caitlin, hey.
508
00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:55,879
I can't believe it's been a
week since I last talked to you.
509
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,210
I heard Dad had to get rid of the boat.
510
00:19:57,220 --> 00:19:59,379
Uh, yeah, I heard about that.
511
00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:01,549
Sucks. First the house, now the boat.
512
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:03,550
It's like everything's going away.
513
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:05,219
Well, I'm not going away
514
00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:06,609
ever.
515
00:20:06,610 --> 00:20:07,720
You hear me?
516
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:10,229
Yeah.
517
00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,059
All right, so tell me
what's going on with you.
518
00:20:12,060 --> 00:20:14,060
You said you got invited to a Hindu wedding?
519
00:20:14,070 --> 00:20:16,119
Yeah, do you want the short version
520
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,069
or the long version?
521
00:20:18,070 --> 00:20:19,619
The long version.
522
00:20:19,620 --> 00:20:21,289
And start from the beginning.
523
00:20:21,290 --> 00:20:24,409
Mom, it was so beautiful and over-the-top.
524
00:20:24,410 --> 00:20:26,909
The whole village was
there... Like, 500 people.
525
00:20:26,910 --> 00:20:29,910
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