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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:04,460 --> 00:00:06,807 That's the... C-Come here. That's the Baron. 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,703 - Come on, Barry. - Come on. 3 00:00:08,728 --> 00:00:10,538 We are so high. 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:11,968 We're on drugblood. 5 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,459 Put the hat on. Oh, yeah... 6 00:00:14,484 --> 00:00:17,156 - Oh! Ugh, no. - Shit. 7 00:00:17,203 --> 00:00:19,703 - I broke his half off. - His bodies' half off. 8 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,630 No, no, no, he's just coming through the floor. 9 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:22,960 Guillermo? 10 00:00:22,985 --> 00:00:25,391 Help us! Don't just stand there. 11 00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:27,125 I don't think that's Guillermo. 12 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:28,947 - Guillermo? - No. 13 00:00:28,972 --> 00:00:31,675 N-No, Nandor, that's the StairMaster. 14 00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:33,601 The master of the stairs. 15 00:00:33,626 --> 00:00:35,695 - We fucked up. This is bad. - Where's Guiller... 16 00:00:35,853 --> 00:00:37,689 Guillermo! 17 00:00:37,831 --> 00:00:40,742 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. Oh, my God... 18 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:14,804 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 19 00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:21,023 We are gathered here tonight in our backyard 20 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:24,781 to commemorate the second death of the Baron. 21 00:01:25,205 --> 00:01:26,664 We are having a ceremony 22 00:01:26,689 --> 00:01:28,491 to commemorate the Baron's passing. 23 00:01:28,516 --> 00:01:29,671 Problem is, though, 24 00:01:29,696 --> 00:01:31,331 we don't remember how he died, 25 00:01:31,356 --> 00:01:32,591 because we were absolutely 26 00:01:32,616 --> 00:01:34,784 messed up on drugblood. 27 00:01:34,809 --> 00:01:38,257 And as a sign of respect, we have decided to bury you 28 00:01:38,282 --> 00:01:40,828 betwixt my two favorite vaginas: 29 00:01:40,853 --> 00:01:44,164 that of my wife and my mother. 30 00:01:44,768 --> 00:01:48,273 Baron, such a wonderful, filthy times 31 00:01:48,298 --> 00:01:49,265 we did have. 32 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:50,925 What a way 33 00:01:50,950 --> 00:01:52,619 to live your life after death, 34 00:01:52,644 --> 00:01:54,593 and what a way to die. 35 00:01:58,415 --> 00:01:59,783 Did we murder him? 36 00:01:59,808 --> 00:02:01,994 We, um, we might have floated the idea 37 00:02:02,019 --> 00:02:04,421 of murdering him, but we didn't do it. 38 00:02:04,446 --> 00:02:05,647 Did we? 39 00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:07,929 Oh, I think something awful happened. 40 00:02:10,665 --> 00:02:12,533 Fuck. 41 00:02:12,722 --> 00:02:14,824 Maybe we should keep this under our hats. 42 00:02:14,849 --> 00:02:16,784 If any vampires find out about this, 43 00:02:16,809 --> 00:02:18,437 then it... 44 00:02:25,697 --> 00:02:27,499 Give the Baron his last sip. 45 00:02:27,524 --> 00:02:30,148 Of course. 46 00:02:32,476 --> 00:02:34,203 So just get him in. 47 00:02:34,228 --> 00:02:35,945 - Yep. - Goodbye, Baron. 48 00:02:37,009 --> 00:02:38,779 Master, there's a raven looking at us. 49 00:02:40,110 --> 00:02:42,609 It is a bad omen. It means that 50 00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:44,375 bad luck is approaching. 51 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,624 Hey, gang. 52 00:02:45,649 --> 00:02:47,062 What's up? Oh! 53 00:02:47,087 --> 00:02:48,484 Oh, my God. 54 00:02:48,686 --> 00:02:50,359 Did-did you guys kill him? 55 00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:51,234 No! No one murdered him. 56 00:02:51,259 --> 00:02:52,510 - No! What... He was just... - We found him in there. 57 00:02:52,535 --> 00:02:53,734 I'm just giving you guff. 58 00:02:53,759 --> 00:02:56,741 And, uh, just so you know, I am feeding on you guys right now. 59 00:02:56,766 --> 00:02:58,609 You can be such a prick, Colin. 60 00:02:58,634 --> 00:03:00,288 I have heard that. 61 00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,816 Shit. The Baron's familiar. 62 00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:07,099 There's more ravens. They're giving me the shits. 63 00:03:07,124 --> 00:03:09,366 Guillermo, shield us from the ravens. 64 00:03:09,391 --> 00:03:11,225 The sky is filled with them. 65 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,805 - No, let's just go inside. - Let's go inside. 66 00:03:12,830 --> 00:03:15,429 Fill the hole. Keep filling. 67 00:03:15,454 --> 00:03:16,468 But the ravens... 68 00:03:16,493 --> 00:03:17,569 They're everywhere! 69 00:03:19,917 --> 00:03:22,509 There are ravens all over the front lawn now, too. 70 00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:24,874 They're trying to frighten us. But it won't work. 71 00:03:25,446 --> 00:03:26,913 - Aah! - What is going on? 72 00:03:26,938 --> 00:03:27,742 Master. 73 00:03:27,767 --> 00:03:28,804 - Aah! - Ay yai yai. 74 00:03:28,829 --> 00:03:30,226 There's a floating woman on the front porch. 75 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,429 She needs to talk to you. 76 00:03:36,989 --> 00:03:39,371 You have been summoned... 77 00:03:40,904 --> 00:03:44,140 to appear before the Vampiric Council 78 00:03:44,165 --> 00:03:47,317 at the Temple of Blood-Devourers. 79 00:03:48,217 --> 00:03:50,139 Could you not have just telephoned? 80 00:03:50,164 --> 00:03:52,432 We sent ravens. 81 00:03:52,457 --> 00:03:55,176 We sent 500 ravens! 82 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,280 Yes, but we have a telephone. 83 00:03:57,305 --> 00:04:00,442 I'm shocked and appalled that you didn't raven us back. 84 00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:02,268 We didn't know how. 85 00:04:02,293 --> 00:04:04,325 You just say, "Raven, we will be there. 86 00:04:04,350 --> 00:04:06,785 Thank you. Fly." 87 00:04:08,002 --> 00:04:09,754 You've been invited. 88 00:04:16,227 --> 00:04:18,239 Couldn't you just have telephoned? 89 00:04:21,489 --> 00:04:25,293 The Vampiric Council is a very ancient organization. 90 00:04:25,318 --> 00:04:28,214 Very powerful. And, apparently, 91 00:04:28,239 --> 00:04:29,809 very scary. 92 00:04:30,606 --> 00:04:33,348 They travel from all corners of the globe 93 00:04:33,373 --> 00:04:36,167 to administer supreme and final justice 94 00:04:36,192 --> 00:04:37,621 upon any vampire 95 00:04:37,646 --> 00:04:39,748 who's violated the Vampiric Code. 96 00:04:39,773 --> 00:04:42,549 Laszlo was very nearly summoned when he turned a baby 97 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,989 into a vampire, which is a big no-no. 98 00:04:45,014 --> 00:04:46,684 It's true. You're not supposed to do that. 99 00:04:46,709 --> 00:04:49,278 But, to be honest, I was bored. 100 00:04:49,612 --> 00:04:52,053 I gave it to an acquaintance in the Bronx, 101 00:04:52,078 --> 00:04:53,176 where, I believe, 102 00:04:53,201 --> 00:04:54,836 it remains to this day. 103 00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:57,254 That baby would be about 90 years old now. 104 00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:58,536 You really fucked up there. 105 00:04:58,561 --> 00:05:00,095 I certainly did. 106 00:05:00,389 --> 00:05:01,727 Maybe we should visit it. 107 00:05:01,752 --> 00:05:03,486 I'd rather not. 108 00:05:04,856 --> 00:05:06,143 Here it is. 109 00:05:06,168 --> 00:05:08,871 Okay, so, obviously, we are all on edge. 110 00:05:08,896 --> 00:05:10,465 This could be about anything, 111 00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:13,161 so we must say nothing about you-know-what. 112 00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:14,301 Obviously. 113 00:05:14,326 --> 00:05:16,807 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... 114 00:05:16,832 --> 00:05:18,834 It is that woman. 115 00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:22,967 I think she wants us to come inside. 116 00:05:22,992 --> 00:05:24,627 Hello again. 117 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,926 Follow me. 118 00:05:28,175 --> 00:05:30,111 So glad you could make it. 119 00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:37,942 Oh. 120 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:40,840 Enter. 121 00:05:40,865 --> 00:05:42,996 How did she do that? 122 00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:48,895 Oh. 123 00:05:50,114 --> 00:05:51,566 And we're here. 124 00:05:51,591 --> 00:05:53,626 And follow me. 125 00:05:53,971 --> 00:05:55,707 How does she do that? 126 00:05:57,147 --> 00:06:00,184 The Tribunal have gathered in the Chamber of Judgment, 127 00:06:00,209 --> 00:06:02,207 and there you'll be put on trial. 128 00:06:02,232 --> 00:06:04,442 Why does this hallway never end? 129 00:06:04,467 --> 00:06:07,470 Well, it's just a freaky-long hallway. 130 00:06:15,533 --> 00:06:17,602 I thought the Council was bigger than that. 131 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:19,817 - Maybe we can battle them. - Shh! 132 00:06:19,843 --> 00:06:21,020 Enter. 133 00:06:21,045 --> 00:06:22,559 Not the human. 134 00:06:22,584 --> 00:06:25,067 Vampire-only trial, Guillermo. 135 00:06:27,445 --> 00:06:29,313 What will happen to me? 136 00:06:29,338 --> 00:06:32,442 Oh, you'll see. 137 00:06:34,403 --> 00:06:35,989 Sorry, I have a... 138 00:06:36,014 --> 00:06:37,917 little blood bubble in my throat. 139 00:06:39,077 --> 00:06:40,832 You'll see... 140 00:06:40,857 --> 00:06:42,491 a room at the end of the hallway 141 00:06:42,516 --> 00:06:44,351 for the familiars. 142 00:06:44,376 --> 00:06:47,446 Ludwig will take you to the familiar lounge. 143 00:06:47,471 --> 00:06:49,743 Ludwig. Ludwig. 144 00:06:49,768 --> 00:06:51,012 Ludwig! 145 00:06:51,037 --> 00:06:52,539 I'll just do it. Follow me. 146 00:06:52,564 --> 00:06:53,865 Watch your step. 147 00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:56,059 I don't have to, I glide. 148 00:06:57,912 --> 00:07:00,754 Good evening, Your Excellencies. 149 00:07:00,779 --> 00:07:03,723 This is Vasillika the Defiler. 150 00:07:03,748 --> 00:07:05,183 Hello. 151 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:07,177 And I am... 152 00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:09,731 Garrett. 153 00:07:09,756 --> 00:07:10,942 Garrett the... 154 00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:12,356 The vampire. 155 00:07:12,381 --> 00:07:13,382 Simple. Nice. 156 00:07:13,407 --> 00:07:15,137 Hi, Garrett the vampire. 157 00:07:15,162 --> 00:07:18,051 Now, what happened with the Baron? 158 00:07:18,076 --> 00:07:19,911 - He's dead. - Oh... 159 00:07:19,936 --> 00:07:22,948 - Sorry, everyone. - It w... We didn't make him dead. 160 00:07:22,973 --> 00:07:25,051 No, it's true. It was a misunderstanding. 161 00:07:25,076 --> 00:07:28,075 Um, as a joke, we said, "Why not kill the Baron?" 162 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:29,834 And if you were there at the time, 163 00:07:29,859 --> 00:07:31,067 you, too, would have laughed. Yes. 164 00:07:31,092 --> 00:07:33,496 Now we realize that it was probably a stupid thing to say, 165 00:07:33,528 --> 00:07:35,630 and we are truly sorry, 166 00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:37,356 and we're taking this very seriously. 167 00:07:37,381 --> 00:07:38,965 And these are our serious faces. 168 00:07:38,990 --> 00:07:42,543 Serious, serious, serious. 169 00:07:42,785 --> 00:07:44,411 Follow. 170 00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,273 What are you doing? 171 00:07:48,298 --> 00:07:50,652 I'm warming my face. It's so cold in here. 172 00:07:50,677 --> 00:07:52,511 Well, it's an LED light. 173 00:07:52,536 --> 00:07:53,458 Oh. 174 00:07:53,483 --> 00:07:55,377 There's no way we could have fire. 175 00:07:55,402 --> 00:07:58,301 The fire marshals would have a fit. 176 00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:03,083 I have to say 177 00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:05,364 we are deeply moved 178 00:08:05,389 --> 00:08:07,301 by your story, and-and maybe it's just me, 179 00:08:07,326 --> 00:08:08,848 but I don't think you're guilty at all. 180 00:08:08,873 --> 00:08:09,871 - Vasillika? - Mm, no, 181 00:08:09,896 --> 00:08:11,476 I don't think you sound guilty. 182 00:08:11,501 --> 00:08:14,770 I-I think... they might let you go. 183 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:17,048 Sorry, what do you mean by "they"? 184 00:08:17,073 --> 00:08:19,356 The Vampiric Council. 185 00:08:19,381 --> 00:08:21,332 You're not the Vampiric Council? 186 00:08:21,356 --> 00:08:23,051 Oh. 187 00:08:23,076 --> 00:08:25,442 No. No, we're... 188 00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:26,635 - we're prisoners here. - No, we have 189 00:08:26,660 --> 00:08:28,695 - been imprisoned in this boring room - Oh... 190 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,887 for... 1,000 years? 191 00:08:30,912 --> 00:08:34,129 - Oh, it's really awful. - Since 1932. 192 00:08:34,154 --> 00:08:35,756 Mm. 193 00:08:36,163 --> 00:08:38,262 That's not 1,000 years. 194 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:40,629 What-what year is it? 195 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,989 It's 2019. 196 00:08:44,295 --> 00:08:46,059 We have been here for 90 years. 197 00:08:46,084 --> 00:08:47,309 - Oh, shit. - What did you do? 198 00:08:47,334 --> 00:08:50,145 Oh, me? Too much defiling. 199 00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:52,161 They say I turned a baby into a vampire 200 00:08:52,186 --> 00:08:53,988 and left it in the Bronx. 201 00:08:54,013 --> 00:08:57,239 Who would do such a thing? If I ever find out who did it, 202 00:08:57,264 --> 00:09:01,265 I will take a dagger and stab them 5,000 times 203 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,760 with this hand, switch hands, and stab them 204 00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:06,379 another 5,000 times! 205 00:09:06,404 --> 00:09:08,864 I can fill up this book 206 00:09:08,889 --> 00:09:12,973 with the ways I would torture that vampire. 207 00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:16,078 Wouldn't want to be him. 208 00:09:16,103 --> 00:09:19,551 - That poor baby. - Poor, poor baby. 209 00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:24,270 The Vampiric Council will see you now. 210 00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:27,878 - Doesn't have to be right now. - I mean, right now... 211 00:09:27,903 --> 00:09:30,239 Right now. I... They had a break, but they're ready now. 212 00:09:30,264 --> 00:09:31,387 They... 213 00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:46,314 Hey. Are you a familiar, too? 214 00:09:46,435 --> 00:09:48,142 Yes. 215 00:09:48,298 --> 00:09:50,066 Welcome. 216 00:10:02,225 --> 00:10:05,536 This is the chamber where you will be tried. 217 00:10:05,561 --> 00:10:07,697 You could hang... 218 00:10:07,722 --> 00:10:08,552 Hang? 219 00:10:08,577 --> 00:10:11,505 Here, until the trial starts. 220 00:10:11,530 --> 00:10:12,645 - I think we're ready. - No... 221 00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:14,644 - We are not ready. - Yes. We are ready. 222 00:10:14,669 --> 00:10:15,980 - No, we're not... - What? What's going... 223 00:10:16,005 --> 00:10:18,833 The spectacle of judgment begins. 224 00:10:21,155 --> 00:10:23,684 What the hell is this? 225 00:10:38,354 --> 00:10:40,490 That's very elaborate. 226 00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,321 Since this may be your last night 227 00:10:42,346 --> 00:10:44,204 of existence, the Vampiric Council 228 00:10:44,229 --> 00:10:47,120 likes to do something a little bit special. 229 00:10:47,488 --> 00:10:49,791 They rehearsed it for decades. 230 00:10:58,409 --> 00:11:00,291 This is very odd. 231 00:11:21,428 --> 00:11:24,846 What the blazes is this? 232 00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:28,526 Dark greetings of the night 233 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,648 to all the members 234 00:11:30,673 --> 00:11:33,977 of the Vampiric Council, from all the continents, 235 00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:37,120 gathered here together on... 236 00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:39,667 - Staten Island. - On St... 237 00:11:39,692 --> 00:11:41,916 O-On Staten Island. 238 00:11:41,941 --> 00:11:45,745 Welcome, vampires from near and far, 239 00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:49,487 to this here grand Vampiric Council, 240 00:11:49,512 --> 00:11:53,151 to judge over these three accused. 241 00:11:53,176 --> 00:11:55,901 Accused of what, you may ask. 242 00:11:55,926 --> 00:11:57,586 - Murder... - Vampire murder. 243 00:11:57,611 --> 00:11:59,613 - Vampire murder. - Sor... vampire murder. 244 00:12:02,916 --> 00:12:04,784 So that's why we're here. 245 00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:07,275 I'll now introduce the leaders of the council, 246 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:10,065 starting here with Tilda. 247 00:12:10,368 --> 00:12:11,970 Pretty much our leader. 248 00:12:11,995 --> 00:12:12,972 She's the one who makes - Hello. 249 00:12:12,997 --> 00:12:14,948 All the big decisions. 250 00:12:15,748 --> 00:12:17,316 Welcome, Tilda. 251 00:12:17,341 --> 00:12:21,278 I am Viago Von Dorna Schmarten 252 00:12:21,303 --> 00:12:23,672 Scheden Heimburg. 253 00:12:23,697 --> 00:12:25,649 This is Deacon Brucke. 254 00:12:25,674 --> 00:12:28,206 - Hello. - Vladislav the Poker. 255 00:12:28,231 --> 00:12:29,791 We also have 256 00:12:29,816 --> 00:12:31,696 Evan, the Immortal 257 00:12:31,721 --> 00:12:33,721 Princess of the Undead. 258 00:12:33,746 --> 00:12:35,297 You don't have to say my whole name. You can just say Evan, 259 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,924 it's fine. - VIAGO: Or just Evan. 260 00:12:36,949 --> 00:12:38,717 Who else do we have? Danny. 261 00:12:38,742 --> 00:12:41,166 Hey, Danny. With his shirt off, as usual. 262 00:12:41,191 --> 00:12:43,955 Cool Mexican tattoos all over his chest. 263 00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:47,100 - Dark greetings, everyone. - Welcome, Danny. 264 00:12:47,125 --> 00:12:48,558 We also have Paul. 265 00:12:48,583 --> 00:12:51,165 Dark greetings, everyone. Dark greetings. 266 00:12:51,190 --> 00:12:53,698 Great to be here. 267 00:12:54,155 --> 00:12:57,643 - Rob... Wh... Is Rob here? Is... - Couldn't make it. 268 00:12:57,668 --> 00:12:58,729 We couldn't get Rob? 269 00:12:58,754 --> 00:13:00,595 Uh, no, I-I talked to Rob, he didn't... 270 00:13:00,620 --> 00:13:03,344 didn't want to come. Want to... leave it behind. 271 00:13:03,369 --> 00:13:04,561 That's fine. No, he didn't want 272 00:13:04,586 --> 00:13:06,854 - to be here. Kiefer? - I don't see Kiefer. 273 00:13:06,879 --> 00:13:09,257 Kiefer said that he wanted to do it, but he couldn't come. 274 00:13:09,282 --> 00:13:11,557 - He was busy? - Tom and Brad... 275 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:12,950 - Tom, not... No. - Not interested. 276 00:13:12,975 --> 00:13:15,088 - Tom and Bra... Well... - Not into it. 277 00:13:15,113 --> 00:13:16,804 They're not committed like us. 278 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,791 It's just an availability thing. 279 00:13:18,816 --> 00:13:21,815 - Well, who is here? - Calling in via Skype, 280 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:24,729 we have Wesley over there, the day-walker. 281 00:13:24,754 --> 00:13:25,198 Wesley! 282 00:13:25,223 --> 00:13:26,221 - Hey, Wesley. - Is this working? 283 00:13:26,246 --> 00:13:28,414 - Look at him then... - Oh, God, not this fucking guy. 284 00:13:28,439 --> 00:13:31,399 He is a vampire killer! 285 00:13:31,424 --> 00:13:33,680 Hey, he is half vampire. 286 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,338 His opinion still counts. 287 00:13:35,363 --> 00:13:37,565 Yeah, well, I'm only listening to half his opinion. 288 00:13:38,754 --> 00:13:40,968 - Look at him in the sunlight. - Showing off. 289 00:13:40,993 --> 00:13:42,830 - Can you hear me? - Wesley, can you hear us? 290 00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,002 - Hey, can you hear me? - There's a lag. 291 00:13:44,027 --> 00:13:46,697 The Skype seems glitchy. 292 00:13:46,722 --> 00:13:47,557 Hello? 293 00:13:47,582 --> 00:13:49,377 - Push the mute button. - It looks like 294 00:13:49,402 --> 00:13:51,072 a little microphone, it's got a-got a ring around it. 295 00:13:51,097 --> 00:13:52,577 - I'm pushing it. - Can you hear us now? 296 00:13:52,602 --> 00:13:55,017 I can hear you. Dark greetings. 297 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:56,916 Okay. Great. 298 00:13:56,941 --> 00:13:58,851 Moving on. As is vampire law, 299 00:13:58,876 --> 00:14:01,089 we also have a local vampire here 300 00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:03,673 on the council this evening, Colin Robinson. 301 00:14:03,847 --> 00:14:05,495 Hello. 302 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,089 What the fuck are you doing here? 303 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,338 Okay, now... 304 00:14:08,363 --> 00:14:10,384 So why are we gathered on "Statee" Island? 305 00:14:10,409 --> 00:14:13,268 Because one of our brothers has passed from this world. 306 00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:17,689 Baron Afanas, also known as The Undying One. 307 00:14:17,714 --> 00:14:20,697 Well, he died. That's why we're here. 308 00:14:20,722 --> 00:14:21,956 Call the witness. 309 00:14:21,981 --> 00:14:23,869 First witness. 310 00:14:23,894 --> 00:14:25,588 - Oh, good grief. - Oh, shit. 311 00:14:25,613 --> 00:14:27,987 Where the hell did she come from? 312 00:14:28,012 --> 00:14:30,982 This is Baron Afanas' familiar. 313 00:14:31,007 --> 00:14:33,876 Witness number one, speak. 314 00:14:33,901 --> 00:14:36,871 It's okay. She doesn't speak. 315 00:14:36,896 --> 00:14:40,783 On the eve of the death of my master... 316 00:14:40,808 --> 00:14:41,916 Well, she's speaking now. 317 00:14:41,941 --> 00:14:44,556 These three vampires 318 00:14:44,581 --> 00:14:47,548 - took Baron Afanas... - She's speaking. 319 00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:51,908 And they let him partake of human food. 320 00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:57,053 We cannot eat human food. It's gross. 321 00:14:57,078 --> 00:14:58,412 The fuck is wrong with you guys? 322 00:14:58,437 --> 00:14:59,580 Earlier, 323 00:14:59,605 --> 00:15:03,485 I overheard them plotting to murder him. 324 00:15:04,894 --> 00:15:06,695 She speaks the bullshit. 325 00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,083 We simply floated the idea. 326 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:11,836 You floated the idea of murdering him? 327 00:15:11,861 --> 00:15:14,166 - Yes. - Not floated, you plotted. 328 00:15:14,191 --> 00:15:16,109 Floating and plotting are very similar. 329 00:15:16,134 --> 00:15:16,826 Wait, 330 00:15:16,851 --> 00:15:19,369 - The Baron is dead? - Oh, my God, Wesley, 331 00:15:19,394 --> 00:15:21,228 - we're past that now. - Wesley, catch up, we're past that. 332 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,151 Remove the witness. 333 00:15:22,176 --> 00:15:24,047 - Yeah. - Thanks a lot. 334 00:15:24,072 --> 00:15:26,470 - Bye, bitch. - Human food? Like-like-like 335 00:15:26,495 --> 00:15:27,979 hamburger or some-something like that? 336 00:15:28,004 --> 00:15:28,556 Wesley. 337 00:15:28,581 --> 00:15:30,033 We're over the human food thing. Shut up. 338 00:15:30,058 --> 00:15:31,880 We're not talking about that, Wesley. 339 00:15:31,905 --> 00:15:33,307 You need better Wi-Fi. 340 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:35,681 Move the computer next to your router, homes. 341 00:15:35,706 --> 00:15:38,052 Hey, hey, hey. It's not my Wi-Fi. 342 00:15:38,077 --> 00:15:40,134 I got the best Wi-Fi. Okay? 343 00:15:40,159 --> 00:15:43,462 I heard about one familiar who was made into a vampire, 344 00:15:43,487 --> 00:15:46,853 and now he has a big castle and he is really successful... 345 00:15:46,894 --> 00:15:50,398 My master says I'm gonna be a vampire in a few days. 346 00:15:50,423 --> 00:15:53,080 It's only been seven decades. 347 00:15:53,229 --> 00:15:55,352 So, have any of you 348 00:15:55,377 --> 00:15:58,815 met a familiar who's become a vampire? 349 00:16:00,619 --> 00:16:02,168 Not personally, 350 00:16:02,201 --> 00:16:04,112 never met one. 351 00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:08,635 Well, I'll be a vampire soon, and then you'll know a vampire. 352 00:16:08,660 --> 00:16:11,073 And then you can become my familiar. 353 00:16:11,098 --> 00:16:13,713 Did anyone really like The Baron, anyway? 354 00:16:13,738 --> 00:16:15,487 .Well, I... no, I didn't like him. I mean, I didn't... 355 00:16:15,512 --> 00:16:16,375 He was creepy. 356 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,370 He was loco. 357 00:16:17,395 --> 00:16:19,737 I thought he was pretty rude and a backstabber. 358 00:16:19,762 --> 00:16:21,752 - He was a bit of an asshole. - Loco. 359 00:16:21,777 --> 00:16:23,523 He was a psychotic madman. 360 00:16:23,548 --> 00:16:25,391 Aren't we all, though? A little bit? 361 00:16:25,416 --> 00:16:26,330 He was a whackjob, 362 00:16:26,355 --> 00:16:28,791 he was crazy, but rules are rules. 363 00:16:28,816 --> 00:16:30,901 - Now what? - Bring in the other witness. 364 00:16:30,926 --> 00:16:32,128 Now let us call the next witness. 365 00:16:32,153 --> 00:16:33,180 What other witness? 366 00:16:33,205 --> 00:16:34,003 Another witness. 367 00:16:34,028 --> 00:16:35,354 Witness number whatever-it-is. 368 00:16:35,379 --> 00:16:37,369 - Oh, my life. - Guillermo. 369 00:16:37,394 --> 00:16:38,828 Who's this delicious-looking thing? 370 00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:40,788 What is this? Is this-is this lunch? 371 00:16:40,813 --> 00:16:42,305 - Yes, it's lunch. - No, it's not lunch. 372 00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:43,288 It's lunch. 373 00:16:43,313 --> 00:16:45,963 This is one of their familiars, council. 374 00:16:45,988 --> 00:16:46,971 He bears witness. 375 00:16:46,996 --> 00:16:49,424 Did these vampires three 376 00:16:49,449 --> 00:16:51,557 murder The Baron? 377 00:16:51,582 --> 00:16:53,170 No, they did not. 378 00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:55,213 Did they "float" it? 379 00:16:55,238 --> 00:16:57,752 They discussed it, but they-they were just talking. 380 00:16:57,777 --> 00:16:59,799 They weren't going to really do it. 381 00:16:59,824 --> 00:17:02,660 So who murdered The Baron? 382 00:17:02,935 --> 00:17:04,510 Um... 383 00:17:08,534 --> 00:17:11,823 They... It was I. I-I killed him. 384 00:17:13,209 --> 00:17:14,678 - You did it? - Yes. 385 00:17:15,691 --> 00:17:17,193 It was I. I did it. 386 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,502 Okay. Unlikely. 387 00:17:19,527 --> 00:17:22,346 Don't take offense, but you don't seem like someone 388 00:17:22,371 --> 00:17:24,682 who would be capable of killing a vampire. 389 00:17:24,707 --> 00:17:26,409 - But I did it. - Uh, hard to believe. 390 00:17:26,434 --> 00:17:28,174 - Well, I did. - From maybe a tougher-looking guy, 391 00:17:28,199 --> 00:17:30,690 - I'd believe it, but... - I think you're lying 392 00:17:30,715 --> 00:17:32,629 - to protect your master. - Of course he is. 393 00:17:32,654 --> 00:17:34,695 This little guy couldn't kill a vampire. 394 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,002 No, it was, it was me. I opened the door and it was dawn 395 00:17:37,027 --> 00:17:38,429 and then the sun came in and... 396 00:17:38,454 --> 00:17:40,330 and then it happened. 397 00:17:40,355 --> 00:17:42,723 That sounds very made-up. 398 00:17:42,852 --> 00:17:44,153 I mean, I don't know, guys. 399 00:17:44,178 --> 00:17:45,924 None of us really liked The Baron, 400 00:17:45,949 --> 00:17:48,444 so maybe we just kill this cute little guy 401 00:17:48,469 --> 00:17:50,073 and then let the other three go. 402 00:17:50,098 --> 00:17:51,440 Send his soul to hell. 403 00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:54,156 Does anyone else feel like having 404 00:17:54,181 --> 00:17:56,653 - a cheeky little snack? - Sneaky snack? 405 00:17:56,678 --> 00:17:58,647 What do you think, Wesley? 406 00:17:58,672 --> 00:18:01,642 Who is this motherfucker now? This glasses motherfucker? 407 00:18:01,667 --> 00:18:02,924 It's lunch, Wesley. 408 00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:04,151 - Lunch. - Oh, yeah. 409 00:18:04,176 --> 00:18:05,130 No! 410 00:18:05,242 --> 00:18:06,829 I cannot abide by this. 411 00:18:06,854 --> 00:18:08,846 - Oh. - Get to the point. 412 00:18:08,871 --> 00:18:12,174 - Have you got a point to make? - Listen to me. 413 00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:14,619 - We're all listening. - You got... Everyone's listening. 414 00:18:14,644 --> 00:18:15,290 Everyone's like... 415 00:18:15,315 --> 00:18:16,805 Everyone has stopped what they were doing, 416 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,415 we were all about to chomp down on this guy, 417 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,424 and then you said, "Oh, I'm gonna say something." 418 00:18:20,449 --> 00:18:22,619 - Speak. - It was we... 419 00:18:22,644 --> 00:18:24,955 - No. - Who killed The Baron. 420 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,754 We thought that! That's what we thought. 421 00:18:26,779 --> 00:18:28,688 - We-we... - We were all discussing that. 422 00:18:28,713 --> 00:18:29,841 You have committed 423 00:18:29,866 --> 00:18:32,582 premeditated vampicide. 424 00:18:32,607 --> 00:18:34,980 Pass the judgment, Tilda. 425 00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:37,611 I pronounce these three 426 00:18:37,636 --> 00:18:38,718 guilty. 427 00:18:38,743 --> 00:18:41,051 Raise your fangs, all who agree. 428 00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:49,938 The punishment is 429 00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,380 they will be killed in the same manner 430 00:18:52,405 --> 00:18:53,723 that their victim was: 431 00:18:53,748 --> 00:18:56,184 exposed to sunlight. 432 00:18:56,209 --> 00:18:58,745 - Ooh! - Ow, Chihuahuas. 433 00:18:59,862 --> 00:19:01,564 Man, that's fucking rough. 434 00:19:01,589 --> 00:19:03,864 You gonna help us, Colin Robinson? 435 00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,668 Fuck can I do? 436 00:19:05,693 --> 00:19:08,333 Follow me to your doom. 437 00:19:08,358 --> 00:19:09,394 Don't worry. 438 00:19:09,419 --> 00:19:12,371 I've coordinated a secret escape plan. 439 00:19:13,890 --> 00:19:15,259 Bat! 440 00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:17,447 Laszlo, you fucking asshole! How could... 441 00:19:17,472 --> 00:19:19,786 - How could... - Ludwig, get him. 442 00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:23,009 Dan, get her. 443 00:19:24,903 --> 00:19:27,065 Watch the hands, Mr. Hands! 444 00:19:27,090 --> 00:19:29,727 Fucking hell! 445 00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:32,489 Release my blade. 446 00:19:32,860 --> 00:19:34,984 - Ooh. - Is it welded on there, or...? 447 00:19:35,009 --> 00:19:37,055 Well, it's for decoration, really. 448 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,051 - Thank you, Ludwig, very good. - Fuck me. 449 00:19:40,231 --> 00:19:42,033 What is that? Uh... Hey! 450 00:19:42,058 --> 00:19:44,479 He's a vampire, he couldn't get an ax off a wall. 451 00:19:44,504 --> 00:19:45,746 Well, you should see it. 452 00:19:45,771 --> 00:19:47,887 It's, like, welded on there or something. 453 00:19:50,059 --> 00:19:51,828 We have to find a way out of here. 454 00:19:51,853 --> 00:19:53,733 This is the thing where we wa... Okay, 455 00:19:53,758 --> 00:19:56,770 I broke this, turned right, and then we turned left to the... 456 00:19:58,689 --> 00:20:01,340 Stay back! 457 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,528 Oh... 458 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,988 It was an accident. 459 00:20:07,013 --> 00:20:09,248 It was an accident. It was an accident. 460 00:20:09,281 --> 00:20:11,207 It was an accident! 461 00:20:13,648 --> 00:20:16,434 So, they're being sent into a well, and, uh, 462 00:20:16,459 --> 00:20:18,661 the sun's going to slowly come up, 463 00:20:18,686 --> 00:20:21,170 - and then they'll burn to death. - It's a very horrible way to die. 464 00:20:21,195 --> 00:20:24,582 - Very dramatic way to die. - Yes. 465 00:20:38,675 --> 00:20:40,690 That's so macabre. 466 00:20:40,715 --> 00:20:42,619 They could have at least cleared them up 467 00:20:42,644 --> 00:20:44,770 before putting us in here. 468 00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:55,837 I wish I had made more of my leadership skills. 469 00:20:55,862 --> 00:20:57,762 I could have ruled many more countries 470 00:20:57,787 --> 00:21:00,200 instead of dying in a well with two perverts. 471 00:21:01,568 --> 00:21:03,739 I was Jack the Ripper. 472 00:21:03,836 --> 00:21:06,051 I've never told anyone that before. 473 00:21:06,076 --> 00:21:07,778 And I wish I'd made love more. 474 00:21:07,803 --> 00:21:10,416 Well, you did that a lot. A lot. 475 00:21:10,441 --> 00:21:13,020 - I suppose I did. - Yeah, a-a lot. 476 00:21:13,045 --> 00:21:15,481 I miss my horse John. 477 00:21:15,506 --> 00:21:19,301 I wish I was better to him. And to you both. 478 00:21:19,326 --> 00:21:22,296 That's very kind of you, Nandor, to say that, and, um, 479 00:21:22,321 --> 00:21:25,676 I know we haven't got on over the years, but, uh... 480 00:21:26,008 --> 00:21:27,981 Nope, that's it. 481 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:30,864 I hate to say it, but I think it's gonna hurt. 482 00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:34,398 - Oh, no! - Fucking Colin Robinson. 483 00:21:34,423 --> 00:21:37,121 - Oh, shit. - No! No! 484 00:21:37,146 --> 00:21:40,153 - Save me! Oh, Gregor, I love you! - No! No! 485 00:21:40,178 --> 00:21:42,012 Gregor! 486 00:21:42,037 --> 00:21:44,825 - Oh, my love, my love... - I'm burning! 487 00:21:48,748 --> 00:21:50,887 - I-It is an eclipse. - What is that? 488 00:21:50,912 --> 00:21:53,606 Hey, dudes. It's me, Colin Robinson, your roommate. 489 00:21:54,327 --> 00:21:55,582 - Colin Robinson? - Yeah, 490 00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:58,155 Guillermo's here, too. He was running around, peeing himself. 491 00:21:58,180 --> 00:21:59,504 I didn't pee myself, Master. 492 00:21:59,529 --> 00:22:01,129 - He was freaked out. - No, I wasn't. 493 00:22:01,154 --> 00:22:03,637 So, anyway, I, uh, I was walking by this hardware store 494 00:22:03,662 --> 00:22:05,590 and I says to myself, "Colin, you should go in 495 00:22:05,615 --> 00:22:08,837 and, uh, see if they have any umbrellas for the well." 496 00:22:08,862 --> 00:22:11,665 Made sure to keep the receipt, I'm gonna probably take it back. 497 00:22:11,690 --> 00:22:13,333 You can do that on non-food items. 498 00:22:13,382 --> 00:22:15,984 - Is he zapping our energy? - He's taking advantage of us. 499 00:22:16,009 --> 00:22:18,111 - Don't do that. - Shut up. 500 00:22:18,136 --> 00:22:19,938 Do you not want me to stay? I can... I'll go. 501 00:22:19,963 --> 00:22:22,614 - No, no, no, no, no! No! - No, don't do that! No! 502 00:22:22,639 --> 00:22:24,723 Just giving you guys guff. 503 00:22:24,748 --> 00:22:26,051 Yeah, I'm gonna save you. 504 00:22:26,076 --> 00:22:28,474 You guys awake? 505 00:22:28,499 --> 00:22:31,352 Hello? 506 00:22:31,674 --> 00:22:33,909 Oh, no, a roller coaster for vampires. 507 00:22:36,293 --> 00:22:39,809 - Oh, no, oh, no! Roller coaster again. - Stop it, Colin Robinson. 508 00:22:39,834 --> 00:22:42,303 And sorry about the camera crew at the bottom of the well. 509 00:22:42,328 --> 00:22:44,590 You're gonna want to get them out sooner than later. 510 00:22:44,615 --> 00:22:47,116 They're in-they're in grave danger. 511 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,954 - You had a heck of a day, too, huh? - Yeah. 512 00:22:51,027 --> 00:22:54,505 - How long have you been with us? - Ten years. 513 00:22:54,530 --> 00:22:56,668 I guess that's the whole deal, right? 514 00:22:56,693 --> 00:22:57,957 That, you know, you work for him, 515 00:22:57,982 --> 00:23:02,090 and he eventually turns you into a, uh, a vampire? 516 00:23:04,313 --> 00:23:05,911 Yeah. 517 00:23:06,131 --> 00:23:08,100 That's the deal. 518 00:23:58,004 --> 00:24:05,233 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 36611

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