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The Starving Games - Hunger Games
Spoof 2013 720p [H264-mp4] English
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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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[BIRDS CHIRPING]
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Hey, Kantmiss! [ARROW WHIZZES]
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I am the great and powerful...
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Aah!
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Dale!
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Just wanted to surprise you.
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You made me miss my shot.
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[BODY THUDS] BALLOONIST: Ow.
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Son of a bitch! My back!
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Look what I got.
13
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:21,990
Is it real?
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Ohh! Psych!
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It's gag bread!
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[SPITS] [LAUGHS]
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Look at you.
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[LAUGHS]
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Right.
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You know...
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00:01:33,136 --> 00:01:35,804
we could run away from here.
22
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We could live some place else.
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Like where?
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Anywhere that's
better than here.
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Darfur. Syria.
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New Jersey.
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Dale, that's... that's
romantic and all...
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but I can't leave my sister.
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I can't leave either.
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00:01:54,958 --> 00:01:58,927
My dear, old grandma
depends on me to feed her.
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00:02:01,531 --> 00:02:04,266
God, I am never having kids.
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00:02:04,268 --> 00:02:06,067
I mean, how can
you raise a child
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in a world where they televise
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all of life's misery and
inhumanity and then pass it off
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as some sort of twisted
entertainment?
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"The Hunger Games."
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"16 and Pregnant."
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[P.A.] Good morning,
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00:02:18,582 --> 00:02:20,282
hungry citizens of District 12.
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In today's news, we
still have no food,
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and the weather will be shitty.
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00:02:24,788 --> 00:02:25,887
Oh, and don't forget,
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today is the Gathering Ceremony,
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so, parents, please bring
your beloved children
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to the square for a
random death lottery.
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Thank you.
47
00:02:37,066 --> 00:02:39,100
I heard that some
kids are so afraid
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00:02:39,102 --> 00:02:40,469
of getting picked for the Games
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that they'll actually
try to get disqualified
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by injuring or
maiming themselves.
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That's an urban legend.
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[SQUEALS]
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Uhh! [GROANS]
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[GRUNTS]
55
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[SIGHS]
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Get in line.
57
00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,398
[MOANS]
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Oh, come on, bitch.
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[MOOS]
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Ipso facto p...
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Your movie franchise is over.
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Get back in line.
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Get back in line.
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Bloody dick.
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00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,220
Hey, no talking.
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00:03:33,689 --> 00:03:35,557
Keep it moving.
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I gotta find my sister.
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00:03:37,694 --> 00:03:38,894
Good luck.
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00:03:43,466 --> 00:03:45,200
Petunia. Kantmiss.
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Hey, Mom.
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I'm scared, Kantmiss.
I'm scared.
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Hey, hey, don't be.
I got you this.
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It's the most courageous
bird that there is...
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00:04:01,151 --> 00:04:02,717
a chicken. [CHICKEN SQUAWKS]
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00:04:02,719 --> 00:04:04,786
When you wear this, nothing
bad can happen to you.
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00:04:04,788 --> 00:04:06,221
[SCREAMS]
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00:04:06,223 --> 00:04:07,956
Shh. Shh. No, don't cry.
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00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,724
You're gonna be fine, okay?
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00:04:09,726 --> 00:04:11,426
I promise.
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00:04:14,697 --> 00:04:16,398
[GROANS]
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00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:18,066
Keep moving.
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00:04:26,342 --> 00:04:27,309
Line up!
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Girls on the right.
Boys on the left!
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00:04:34,083 --> 00:04:39,187
Welcome to the 75th
annual Starving Games.
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Oh. Oh! Ohh!
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[BOWL SHATTERS]
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Hey. Ohh!
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[CROWD GASPS]
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But that was my sausage!
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00:04:53,971 --> 00:04:57,038
And now a video from
our esteemed leader,
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President Snowballs.
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00:04:58,875 --> 00:05:01,076
[LATIN MUSIC PLAYS]
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NARRATOR: He once killed
his own mother...
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[GUNSHOT] [ALL GASP]
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Because she forgot to cut
the crust off his PB&J.
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00:05:11,688 --> 00:05:13,788
[SNICKERS] [GIGGLES]
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00:05:13,790 --> 00:05:16,691
His only Facebook
friend is Mel Gibson.
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00:05:16,693 --> 00:05:17,792
[ALL GASP]
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00:05:17,794 --> 00:05:19,060
He has an online blog
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00:05:19,062 --> 00:05:21,596
that gives away the
endings of movies
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00:05:21,598 --> 00:05:24,866
without ever using the
disclaimer "spoiler alert."
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What? He is...
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the most terrible
man in the world.
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00:05:31,173 --> 00:05:33,074
I don't always like beer,
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00:05:33,076 --> 00:05:36,678
but when I want one,
I choose Tres Equis.
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Tastes like piss water.
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Aah!
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[ALL GASP]
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Every year, I make you
watch this video,
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00:05:48,725 --> 00:05:50,992
because, well, you're dumb.
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00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:53,962
People forget how in the past
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shit really hit the fan.
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Corporations got too big,
and people lost trust.
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00:05:59,836 --> 00:06:01,436
[BOOING]
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00:06:01,438 --> 00:06:04,139
They staged sit-ins.
They rioted.
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00:06:04,141 --> 00:06:06,808
You elected Lady
Gaga as President
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00:06:06,810 --> 00:06:08,643
and her running
mate Nicki Minaj.
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00:06:08,645 --> 00:06:10,679
That's why we wear these
kooky clothes now
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00:06:10,681 --> 00:06:12,414
and have bizarre hairdos.
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[ALL GROAN]
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Then I took over
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and separated the
country into districts
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00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,753
so that stupid shit
never happened again.
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Aah!
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[BOTH LAUGHING]
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00:06:22,926 --> 00:06:24,592
You've proven that
democracy doesn't work,
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00:06:24,594 --> 00:06:26,895
and I'm here, in my sixth
self-proclaimed term,
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to ensure that all
free will is expunged,
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00:06:29,132 --> 00:06:31,266
never to rear its
ugly head again.
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[DUBBED SINISTER LAUGH]
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[NEIGHS]
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[ALL GASP]
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[BOOING]
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00:06:41,378 --> 00:06:43,745
Yes, that brings us to today.
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00:06:43,747 --> 00:06:46,915
Just to prove what a sick,
sadistic prick I am
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00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:48,483
and how you have no control...
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00:06:48,485 --> 00:06:49,584
[ALL GROAN]
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00:06:49,586 --> 00:06:51,519
And admittedly after
watching "The Running Man"
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00:06:51,521 --> 00:06:53,555
and the Japanese cult
hit "Battle Royale,"
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00:06:53,557 --> 00:06:55,056
I came up with the
Starving Games.
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Two kids from each
district are selected
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to play a game to the death
with only one survivor.
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The winner is to be
showered with a bounty,
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00:07:02,766 --> 00:07:05,233
including an old ham...
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00:07:05,235 --> 00:07:07,736
Oh, I love old ham.
146
00:07:07,738 --> 00:07:09,137
This coupon to Subway...
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00:07:09,139 --> 00:07:11,639
Buy any foot-long for
a six-inch price...
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00:07:11,641 --> 00:07:12,707
[ALL GASP] and...
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a partially eaten pickle.
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00:07:17,414 --> 00:07:19,981
[GASPING] So happy
Starving Games,
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00:07:19,983 --> 00:07:23,151
and may the odds be
never in your favour.
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[ALL BOO]
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[MOANS]
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A President Snowballs
production.
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Now let the gathering
begin! Ahem.
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00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:41,336
[HUMMING A TUNE]
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Hugh Janus.
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00:07:55,385 --> 00:07:57,719
[MURMURING] Hmm?
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00:07:57,721 --> 00:08:00,622
No? Yeah. All right.
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00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:01,890
I'll pick again. Heh.
161
00:08:04,593 --> 00:08:05,960
Phil Mahooters.
162
00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:08,129
[LAUGHING]
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00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:10,231
Please, Phil Mahooters?
164
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:16,171
Dean Gullberry.
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00:08:16,173 --> 00:08:17,405
[LAUGHING]
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00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:19,107
Everyone look around.
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00:08:19,109 --> 00:08:21,276
Check behind you for
a Dean Gullberry.
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00:08:30,419 --> 00:08:34,155
This is being televised
around the country!
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00:08:35,157 --> 00:08:36,558
You won't be laughing
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00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:38,927
when two of you are picked
and thrown into the arena
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00:08:38,929 --> 00:08:40,195
for your most certain deaths.
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00:08:40,197 --> 00:08:41,863
[CROWD QUIETS]
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Ahem.
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00:08:44,067 --> 00:08:45,667
[CHUCKLES]
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00:08:49,038 --> 00:08:50,338
It's okay.
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00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:59,781
Petunia Evershot.
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00:08:59,783 --> 00:09:02,550
[CROWD GASPING]
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00:09:06,121 --> 00:09:07,589
Whoo!
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00:09:07,591 --> 00:09:09,257
Yes! Yes!
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00:09:09,259 --> 00:09:10,625
I didn't get picked.
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00:09:10,627 --> 00:09:12,594
Hoo-whoo!
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00:09:12,596 --> 00:09:15,096
Hoo! Whoo! Yeah!
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00:09:15,098 --> 00:09:16,798
♪ I didn't get picked ♪
184
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♪ I'm 18 now ♪
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00:09:18,068 --> 00:09:19,767
♪ No mo' games ♪
♪ for me now ♪
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00:09:19,769 --> 00:09:20,902
♪ Unh, unh, suck it ♪
187
00:09:20,904 --> 00:09:22,303
Whoo! Come on! Gimme some.
188
00:09:22,305 --> 00:09:24,739
Yeah. One more. Oh! Whew.
189
00:09:31,847 --> 00:09:34,382
But I got picked.
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00:09:39,889 --> 00:09:41,623
Petunia, I am so sorry.
191
00:09:45,194 --> 00:09:47,195
Petunia, no. Not fair.
192
00:09:47,197 --> 00:09:49,330
Do not give me those
puppy-dog eyes.
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00:09:53,002 --> 00:09:55,236
[CRYING]
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00:09:55,238 --> 00:09:57,138
I volunteer!
195
00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:58,306
Oh.
196
00:09:58,308 --> 00:10:00,174
I volunteer for the
Starving Games!
197
00:10:00,176 --> 00:10:02,176
Thanks, big sis.
198
00:10:02,178 --> 00:10:04,479
Oh! If you never make
it back from the Games,
199
00:10:04,481 --> 00:10:06,314
can I eat your pet hamster?
200
00:10:06,316 --> 00:10:07,515
[SQUEALS]
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00:10:07,517 --> 00:10:08,316
What?
202
00:10:08,318 --> 00:10:09,851
[SLURPS]
203
00:10:09,853 --> 00:10:11,052
[SQUEAKS]
204
00:10:11,054 --> 00:10:13,721
[CHUCKLES] Come, dear.
205
00:10:13,723 --> 00:10:15,657
[LAUGHS]
206
00:10:15,659 --> 00:10:20,228
Now let's pick a boy to
join you in the games.
207
00:10:20,230 --> 00:10:22,163
I volunteer also!
208
00:10:22,165 --> 00:10:23,564
[ALL GASP] Who said that?
209
00:10:23,566 --> 00:10:24,966
I did.
210
00:10:24,968 --> 00:10:26,501
I'm Peter Malarkey.
211
00:10:28,237 --> 00:10:29,837
Oh.
212
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,010
Hey, Kantmiss.
213
00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:41,950
I volunteered
because I like you,
214
00:10:41,952 --> 00:10:43,217
a lot, and I... I'm sorry.
215
00:10:43,219 --> 00:10:44,252
Do I know you?
216
00:10:44,254 --> 00:10:45,653
Um...
217
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:49,157
I'm... I'm the baker's son.
218
00:10:49,159 --> 00:10:51,225
I once fed you when
you were hungry.
219
00:10:51,227 --> 00:10:53,161
Oh, right.
220
00:10:53,163 --> 00:10:55,663
You gave me that walnut bread.
221
00:10:55,665 --> 00:10:56,864
Yeah.
222
00:10:56,866 --> 00:10:58,032
Yeah.
223
00:10:58,034 --> 00:10:59,901
I have a severe nut allergy,
224
00:10:59,903 --> 00:11:00,903
and I almost died.
225
00:11:03,839 --> 00:11:07,041
Let's hear it for
our contestants!
226
00:11:07,043 --> 00:11:08,076
[LAUGHS]
227
00:11:22,024 --> 00:11:24,993
And don't forget to tune
in to the Starving Games
228
00:11:24,995 --> 00:11:28,129
after the season finale
of "Downton Abbey."
229
00:11:28,131 --> 00:11:29,230
Can't we say our goodbyes?
230
00:11:29,232 --> 00:11:30,465
Of course, dear.
231
00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:33,534
The Capital isn't
completely inhumane.
232
00:11:33,536 --> 00:11:35,003
You got 9 seconds.
233
00:11:37,439 --> 00:11:38,940
Petunia! Kantmiss!
234
00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:43,077
Don't worry. You're in
good hands with Mom.
235
00:11:50,519 --> 00:11:52,720
What's up with that Peter dude?
236
00:11:52,722 --> 00:11:53,654
What?
237
00:11:53,656 --> 00:11:55,423
I mean he's a total dork, right?
238
00:11:56,325 --> 00:11:58,026
How much do you
think he benches?
239
00:11:58,028 --> 00:11:59,093
Uh...
240
00:11:59,095 --> 00:12:00,461
Time's up!
241
00:12:03,232 --> 00:12:04,632
Dale! Yeah?
242
00:12:04,634 --> 00:12:06,367
Promise me you'll
take care of Petunia!
243
00:12:06,369 --> 00:12:09,137
I will, Kantmiss.
244
00:12:09,139 --> 00:12:10,638
I promise.
245
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,140
Wait!
246
00:12:12,142 --> 00:12:13,142
Later.
247
00:12:15,978 --> 00:12:17,845
Shit heads.
248
00:12:32,027 --> 00:12:33,094
The Nike Swoosh?
249
00:12:33,096 --> 00:12:34,495
Yes, I started selling
250
00:12:34,497 --> 00:12:35,863
advertising space on my face.
251
00:12:35,865 --> 00:12:37,665
Your willingness to sell
out and whore yourself
252
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:39,667
is the primary reason I
made you head programmer.
253
00:12:39,669 --> 00:12:40,802
Thank you, Mr. President.
254
00:12:40,804 --> 00:12:42,904
How is the big TV show looking?
255
00:12:42,906 --> 00:12:45,506
Fantastic. We've replaced Charlie
Sheen with Ashton Kutcher,
256
00:12:45,508 --> 00:12:47,575
and no one really
seems to give a shit.
257
00:12:48,710 --> 00:12:50,244
And the Starving Games?
258
00:12:50,246 --> 00:12:51,512
It's gonna be a great show.
259
00:12:51,514 --> 00:12:53,781
We have some very
interesting contestants,
260
00:12:53,783 --> 00:12:56,284
with 2 volunteers
from District 12.
261
00:12:56,286 --> 00:12:57,819
Volunteers.
262
00:12:57,821 --> 00:12:59,420
R-O-T-F-L-O-L.
263
00:12:59,422 --> 00:13:01,089
And because you made it law
264
00:13:01,091 --> 00:13:03,758
that whoever doesn't watch the
Games would be publicly flogged,
265
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:05,359
we're expecting
record high ratings.
266
00:13:05,361 --> 00:13:07,095
Well, after last years debacle,
267
00:13:07,097 --> 00:13:08,596
I really had no choice.
268
00:13:08,598 --> 00:13:11,332
"Celebrity Starving
Games" was a lousy idea.
269
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,101
No one could have anticipated
270
00:13:13,103 --> 00:13:15,069
that Oprah would eat all
the other contestants.
271
00:13:17,873 --> 00:13:20,074
I want this game to go
off without a hitch.
272
00:13:20,076 --> 00:13:21,476
I don't want some underdog
273
00:13:21,478 --> 00:13:24,846
from a poor district to enter the
Games and stir up the masses
274
00:13:24,848 --> 00:13:26,914
with her archery skills
and her brunette hair
275
00:13:26,916 --> 00:13:28,916
fashioned into a
trademark single braid,
276
00:13:28,918 --> 00:13:31,519
inspiring revolt which will not
only overthrows my presidency,
277
00:13:31,521 --> 00:13:33,654
but also spawns a successful
278
00:13:33,656 --> 00:13:35,123
four-quadrant blockbuster.
279
00:13:37,793 --> 00:13:39,894
Ohh!
280
00:13:41,396 --> 00:13:43,531
And I may need a new gardener.
281
00:13:43,533 --> 00:13:45,800
I'm Stanley Ceaserman,
and this is
282
00:13:45,802 --> 00:13:49,337
"The Starving Games
Countdown Show!"
283
00:13:49,339 --> 00:13:51,005
[CHEERING]
284
00:13:53,242 --> 00:13:55,243
[LAUGHS]
285
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,014
Tomorrow, the Games begin,
286
00:14:00,016 --> 00:14:02,450
but tonight, we're going
to meet the contestants.
287
00:14:02,452 --> 00:14:03,618
You'll get to know them
288
00:14:03,620 --> 00:14:05,086
through their touching
back stories,
289
00:14:05,088 --> 00:14:07,622
where we'll manipulate
you with heavily edited
290
00:14:07,624 --> 00:14:10,191
home video footage and
tragic testimonials.
291
00:14:10,193 --> 00:14:13,561
Then, when you're emotionally
attached to them,
292
00:14:13,563 --> 00:14:16,297
we'll send them off to
their horrific slaughter.
293
00:14:16,299 --> 00:14:18,633
[CHEERING] [LAUGHS]
294
00:14:18,635 --> 00:14:20,535
Let's meet our first contestant.
295
00:14:20,537 --> 00:14:22,436
Going in order
from District One,
296
00:14:22,438 --> 00:14:24,639
he's the odds-on favourite
to win this thing.
297
00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:26,674
He's blond. He's Waspy.
298
00:14:26,676 --> 00:14:29,177
He's the Aryan youth incarnate.
299
00:14:29,179 --> 00:14:32,613
He's Marco!
300
00:14:32,615 --> 00:14:34,882
[CHEERING]
301
00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:41,055
Yeah!
302
00:14:41,057 --> 00:14:43,558
Ahh! Yeah!
303
00:14:46,495 --> 00:14:48,596
Hello, guy.
304
00:14:48,598 --> 00:14:50,231
Tell us about yourself.
305
00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:52,867
I'm from District One.
It's a prime district.
306
00:14:52,869 --> 00:14:53,668
Who are you?
307
00:14:53,670 --> 00:14:54,936
I'm Cinnamon,
308
00:14:54,938 --> 00:14:56,604
your stylist.
309
00:14:56,606 --> 00:14:57,939
How are you holding up?
310
00:14:57,941 --> 00:14:59,440
I'm scared.
311
00:14:59,442 --> 00:15:01,242
I don't want to die.
312
00:15:01,244 --> 00:15:03,110
Ahh. I'm here to tell you
313
00:15:03,112 --> 00:15:04,512
that I believe in you.
314
00:15:04,514 --> 00:15:05,513
You can win this.
315
00:15:05,515 --> 00:15:06,948
I looked at your records,
316
00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:09,917
and you are smarter and
craftier than all of them.
317
00:15:09,919 --> 00:15:12,253
Really? You think
that I can win?
318
00:15:12,255 --> 00:15:13,955
Yes, Patricia.
319
00:15:13,957 --> 00:15:15,256
I know it.
320
00:15:15,258 --> 00:15:16,257
Who's Patricia?
321
00:15:16,259 --> 00:15:18,459
[RECORD NEEDLE SCRATCHES]
322
00:15:18,461 --> 00:15:20,494
You're not the girl
from District Three?
323
00:15:20,496 --> 00:15:22,897
No, I'm from District 12.
324
00:15:22,899 --> 00:15:24,232
[GASPS]
325
00:15:27,369 --> 00:15:28,569
[SNORTS]
326
00:15:29,705 --> 00:15:31,606
You know, this is
perfectly normal.
327
00:15:31,608 --> 00:15:34,342
You seem like you
strong... [SNORTS]
328
00:15:36,845 --> 00:15:40,948
And now, from District
12, Peter Malarkey.
329
00:15:40,950 --> 00:15:43,084
[APPLAUSE]
330
00:15:43,086 --> 00:15:46,988
So, Peter, tell us,
331
00:15:46,990 --> 00:15:50,625
is there a special
someone in your life?
332
00:15:52,928 --> 00:15:53,995
Yeah.
333
00:15:55,364 --> 00:15:56,430
Yeah, there is someone.
334
00:15:56,432 --> 00:15:58,866
Aww. Aww.
335
00:15:58,868 --> 00:16:00,668
Ohh.
336
00:16:00,670 --> 00:16:03,004
Well, do tell. [LAUGHS]
337
00:16:03,006 --> 00:16:05,373
The person's actually
here tonight,
338
00:16:05,375 --> 00:16:08,142
a person who is...
339
00:16:08,144 --> 00:16:10,378
also in the Games.
340
00:16:10,380 --> 00:16:11,679
In the Games with you?
341
00:16:11,681 --> 00:16:14,048
Aww. Aww.
342
00:16:17,286 --> 00:16:20,321
Well, go on.
343
00:16:20,323 --> 00:16:21,989
Well...
344
00:16:21,991 --> 00:16:23,891
it's a person I've been wanting
345
00:16:23,893 --> 00:16:26,227
to get closer to
for a long time.
346
00:16:26,229 --> 00:16:28,029
You son of a bitch.
347
00:16:29,197 --> 00:16:30,197
PETER: So...
348
00:16:30,199 --> 00:16:31,699
tall,
349
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:33,534
with beautiful eyes
350
00:16:33,536 --> 00:16:36,504
and a smoking hot bod, but...
351
00:16:36,506 --> 00:16:38,939
you know, more than anything,
352
00:16:38,941 --> 00:16:40,641
this person's got
a lot of heart.
353
00:16:40,643 --> 00:16:42,076
Aww. Aww.
354
00:16:42,078 --> 00:16:44,412
Well, you must tell
us. Who is it?
355
00:16:50,485 --> 00:16:52,553
It's Marco!
356
00:16:52,555 --> 00:16:54,422
[CHEERING] Me?
357
00:16:54,424 --> 00:16:55,990
Heh.
358
00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:56,791
Huh? Huh?
359
00:16:56,793 --> 00:16:57,992
[CROWD MURMURS]
360
00:16:59,861 --> 00:17:01,141
STANLEY: Let's
hear it for Peter.
361
00:17:07,336 --> 00:17:08,569
You little shit!
362
00:17:08,571 --> 00:17:11,005
I'm gonna stick a
foot in your ass!
363
00:17:11,007 --> 00:17:13,708
Ohh! Jeez.
364
00:17:13,710 --> 00:17:15,176
What the hell was that about?
365
00:17:15,178 --> 00:17:17,078
It's called building
an alliance.
366
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,412
[GASPS]
367
00:17:18,414 --> 00:17:21,515
Haven't you ever watched
"Survivor" or "Big Brother"?
368
00:17:21,517 --> 00:17:23,384
Aah! [GASPS] When's...
369
00:17:23,386 --> 00:17:26,053
When was the last time you
trimmed your toenails?
370
00:17:26,055 --> 00:17:27,888
[POPS]
371
00:17:29,524 --> 00:17:30,791
Ohh.
372
00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:35,196
And now, for our
final contestant,
373
00:17:35,198 --> 00:17:36,497
from District 12,
374
00:17:36,499 --> 00:17:38,733
Kantmiss Evershot.
375
00:17:39,534 --> 00:17:40,568
Whoo!
376
00:17:40,570 --> 00:17:42,103
Let's take a look.
377
00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:44,805
Kantmiss is the best big
sister in the world.
378
00:17:44,807 --> 00:17:48,909
She takes care of me. She
feeds me. She clothes me.
379
00:17:48,911 --> 00:17:50,945
She even reads to me.
380
00:17:53,415 --> 00:17:55,583
Ever since Dad died,
381
00:17:55,585 --> 00:17:58,152
Mom's been a little bummed out,
382
00:17:58,154 --> 00:18:02,189
but that doesn't stop the three of
us from having a whole lot of fun.
383
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,929
From the first time I
saw Kantmiss, I knew.
384
00:18:08,931 --> 00:18:11,399
I knew she was the one for me.
385
00:18:11,401 --> 00:18:13,634
She's got class.
386
00:18:13,636 --> 00:18:16,237
She's a real lady.
387
00:18:16,239 --> 00:18:18,672
[FARTS]
388
00:18:18,674 --> 00:18:20,441
Oh, my God.
389
00:18:20,443 --> 00:18:22,076
[FARTING CONTINUES]
390
00:18:22,078 --> 00:18:23,310
[LAUGHS]
391
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:24,311
[FARTING CONTINUES]
392
00:18:24,313 --> 00:18:26,781
[PANTING]
393
00:18:26,783 --> 00:18:29,383
Ohh! Oh, my God.
394
00:18:29,385 --> 00:18:31,152
[GROANS] [SPLASHES]
395
00:18:31,154 --> 00:18:32,420
Ohh! Ohh!
396
00:18:33,422 --> 00:18:34,822
Isn't that just touching?
397
00:18:34,824 --> 00:18:36,457
Aww. Aww.
398
00:18:36,459 --> 00:18:37,958
Let's bring her out, shall we?
399
00:18:39,461 --> 00:18:40,594
[LAUGHS]
400
00:18:40,596 --> 00:18:42,630
Kantmiss Evershot!
401
00:18:42,632 --> 00:18:44,765
[STANLEY LAUGHING]
402
00:18:49,237 --> 00:18:52,406
So, Kantmiss, that's
quite a dress.
403
00:18:52,408 --> 00:18:53,841
Give us a little spin.
404
00:18:53,843 --> 00:18:57,044
[APPLAUSE]
405
00:18:59,314 --> 00:19:01,282
Heh. Go on.
406
00:19:01,284 --> 00:19:02,349
Don't be shy.
407
00:19:02,351 --> 00:19:04,051
[LAUGHING]
408
00:19:07,289 --> 00:19:08,956
[APPLAUSE]
409
00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:11,459
Very nice. [LAUGHS]
410
00:19:11,461 --> 00:19:12,560
STANLEY: Oh.
411
00:19:16,264 --> 00:19:18,599
Wow, I'm getting
word that flames
412
00:19:18,601 --> 00:19:20,501
actually ignite from the dress.
413
00:19:20,503 --> 00:19:21,602
Flames?
414
00:19:21,604 --> 00:19:23,370
[GASPING]
415
00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,039
[CHEERING]
416
00:19:25,041 --> 00:19:27,675
[LAUGHING] [SCREAMING]
417
00:19:27,677 --> 00:19:29,109
Oh! [BLEEP]! Oh!
418
00:19:29,111 --> 00:19:30,644
Oh, my God. Oh, [BLEEP].
419
00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:32,480
Oh, [BLEEP]. Aah!
420
00:19:32,482 --> 00:19:33,948
[SCREAMS]
421
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:36,383
Why are you clapping,
you stupid [BLEEP]?!
422
00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:37,785
Aah!
423
00:19:37,787 --> 00:19:39,520
I'm on [BLEEP] fire!
I'm on [BLEEP] fire!
424
00:19:39,522 --> 00:19:42,790
Let's hear it for Kantmiss,
the girl on fire!
425
00:19:42,792 --> 00:19:44,525
Ah, [BLEEP]! It's on fire!
426
00:19:44,527 --> 00:19:45,893
It's on fire! It burns!
427
00:19:45,895 --> 00:19:48,262
I'm on [BLEEP] fire! [BLEEP]!
428
00:19:50,599 --> 00:19:52,132
Good morning, sport fans,
429
00:19:52,134 --> 00:19:54,869
and welcome to the 75th
annual Starving Games.
430
00:19:54,871 --> 00:19:56,504
I'm your host Bob Hylox,
431
00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:58,072
and with me is my sidekick
432
00:19:58,074 --> 00:20:00,708
and colour commentator,
Cleaver Williams.
433
00:20:00,710 --> 00:20:01,809
Cleaver, how you doing?
434
00:20:01,811 --> 00:20:03,277
Excited about today's Games?
435
00:20:05,881 --> 00:20:07,314
Fantastic.
436
00:20:07,316 --> 00:20:09,850
Cleaver is a past Games
winner, of course.
437
00:20:09,852 --> 00:20:11,919
In fact, Cleaver, why
don't you tell everybody
438
00:20:11,921 --> 00:20:13,153
in the district watching,
439
00:20:13,155 --> 00:20:15,189
how you got that
delightful nickname.
440
00:20:15,191 --> 00:20:17,892
I used a meat cleaver
to kill everyone.
441
00:20:20,862 --> 00:20:23,531
Still got the old moves.
442
00:20:24,966 --> 00:20:25,966
[DEVICE BEEPS]
443
00:20:25,968 --> 00:20:27,801
Hello, Siri.
444
00:20:27,803 --> 00:20:29,103
[URBAN ACCENT] Hello, Seleca.
445
00:20:29,105 --> 00:20:30,704
How's it hanging, boo?
446
00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:31,705
Low and to the left.
447
00:20:31,707 --> 00:20:35,042
[LAUGHS] Good one.
448
00:20:35,044 --> 00:20:36,944
All right. Looks
like the contestants
449
00:20:36,946 --> 00:20:38,078
have taken the field.
450
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,014
All right, Siri,
cut to the field.
451
00:20:55,196 --> 00:20:58,299
Say your prayers, my son,
'cause you are dead.
452
00:20:58,301 --> 00:21:00,601
[SOBS]
453
00:21:02,203 --> 00:21:04,572
And the countdown has begun.
454
00:21:04,574 --> 00:21:06,273
30,
455
00:21:06,275 --> 00:21:07,975
29...
456
00:21:07,977 --> 00:21:10,177
Oh, God. 28...
457
00:21:12,280 --> 00:21:13,414
27...
458
00:21:13,416 --> 00:21:14,448
Hmm?
459
00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,350
26...
460
00:21:17,452 --> 00:21:18,485
25...
461
00:21:18,487 --> 00:21:20,554
[CHUCKLES]
462
00:21:20,556 --> 00:21:22,623
24,
463
00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,525
23,
464
00:21:24,527 --> 00:21:27,127
22...
465
00:21:28,396 --> 00:21:29,496
21...
466
00:21:29,498 --> 00:21:30,931
Now, it's very important
467
00:21:30,933 --> 00:21:32,433
that the contestants don't move
468
00:21:32,435 --> 00:21:34,969
off the silver
circles before zero.
469
00:21:34,971 --> 00:21:36,704
Otherwise, kablammo,
470
00:21:36,706 --> 00:21:40,174
as the field is booby-trapped
with explosives.
471
00:21:40,176 --> 00:21:41,942
Don't need to remind me.
472
00:21:41,944 --> 00:21:44,545
I went too soon, and I
still can't poop right.
473
00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:48,549
How 'bout that?
474
00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,585
13,
475
00:21:51,587 --> 00:21:52,587
12...
476
00:21:54,322 --> 00:21:55,222
11... Huh?
477
00:21:55,224 --> 00:21:58,759
[TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS]
478
00:21:58,761 --> 00:22:00,160
What are you doing here?
479
00:22:00,162 --> 00:22:01,662
We were asked to perform
480
00:22:01,664 --> 00:22:02,796
at the opening ceremony.
481
00:22:02,798 --> 00:22:04,865
This is the arena.
482
00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:07,568
Oh, you're looking
for stage two.
483
00:22:07,570 --> 00:22:09,536
[MUSIC STOPS]
484
00:22:09,538 --> 00:22:11,605
Oh. Thanks. Thanks.
485
00:22:13,842 --> 00:22:15,976
[WHIMPERS]
486
00:22:17,579 --> 00:22:18,579
Oops.
487
00:22:18,581 --> 00:22:21,248
[CHEERING]
488
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:24,952
Wow! What a way to
start the Games!
489
00:22:24,954 --> 00:22:26,954
10,
490
00:22:26,956 --> 00:22:28,455
9...
491
00:22:30,158 --> 00:22:31,425
8... [GROWLING]
492
00:22:32,594 --> 00:22:34,194
7...
493
00:22:35,463 --> 00:22:37,197
6,
494
00:22:37,199 --> 00:22:39,066
5...
495
00:22:40,235 --> 00:22:41,301
4...
496
00:22:42,303 --> 00:22:43,303
3...
497
00:22:45,540 --> 00:22:46,874
2...
498
00:22:46,876 --> 00:22:48,375
1.
499
00:22:49,644 --> 00:22:51,245
[SCREAMS]
500
00:22:51,247 --> 00:22:53,647
[SCATTERED YELLING]
501
00:22:58,586 --> 00:22:59,586
[BONES CRACK]
502
00:22:59,588 --> 00:23:00,588
[SCREAMING]
503
00:23:04,626 --> 00:23:05,959
[BLADE STABS]
504
00:23:05,961 --> 00:23:07,695
Siri, more blood.
505
00:23:10,899 --> 00:23:11,899
Oh.
506
00:23:11,901 --> 00:23:13,834
[CROWD GASPS]
507
00:23:13,836 --> 00:23:15,135
Much better.
508
00:23:15,137 --> 00:23:17,504
[SCREAMING]
509
00:23:31,386 --> 00:23:32,186
Ooh! Ooh!
510
00:23:32,188 --> 00:23:34,922
[SCREAMING]
511
00:23:34,924 --> 00:23:37,925
[CHEERING]
512
00:23:37,927 --> 00:23:40,694
Yeah, Marco! Yeah!
513
00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:54,108
Let go!
514
00:23:54,110 --> 00:23:55,309
I got here first!
515
00:23:57,212 --> 00:23:59,046
Yaah! Now give it to me!
516
00:23:59,048 --> 00:24:00,380
No. I'm not letting go.
517
00:24:00,382 --> 00:24:01,949
There is a dagger in your back!
518
00:24:01,951 --> 00:24:03,617
I'm okay!
519
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:07,621
What?
520
00:24:08,923 --> 00:24:09,923
It's fine.
521
00:24:09,925 --> 00:24:12,326
It's fine? [BUZZING]
522
00:24:12,328 --> 00:24:14,094
Seriously? You're
not letting go?
523
00:24:14,096 --> 00:24:15,395
I want this backpack!
524
00:24:16,698 --> 00:24:19,233
[SCREAMS]
525
00:24:25,807 --> 00:24:28,008
I want this backpack!
526
00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:30,477
I want it. It's mine!
527
00:24:31,579 --> 00:24:32,780
I'm not letting go!
528
00:24:35,850 --> 00:24:37,551
That was my backpack!
529
00:24:45,260 --> 00:24:47,060
[CANNON BOOMS]
530
00:24:47,062 --> 00:24:48,262
What was that sound?
531
00:24:48,264 --> 00:24:49,696
It's the cannon.
They shoot it off
532
00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:51,165
to announce whenever
someone is killed.
533
00:24:51,167 --> 00:24:52,466
Nice. Looks like the odds
534
00:24:52,468 --> 00:24:53,967
just got better for me, then.
535
00:24:53,969 --> 00:24:55,202
[FLYING OBJECT WHISTLES]
536
00:24:55,204 --> 00:24:56,670
My balls!
537
00:24:58,139 --> 00:25:01,842
Oh! That has got to hurt.
538
00:25:01,844 --> 00:25:03,310
Let's see an instant replay.
539
00:25:03,312 --> 00:25:05,579
[SLOW MOTION] My balls!
540
00:25:05,581 --> 00:25:07,147
[LAUGHS]
541
00:25:07,149 --> 00:25:09,616
My balls!
542
00:25:09,618 --> 00:25:10,751
My balls!
543
00:25:10,753 --> 00:25:11,985
[LAUGHS]
544
00:25:11,987 --> 00:25:13,220
My ball...
545
00:25:13,222 --> 00:25:16,123
My ball... My... My ball...
546
00:25:16,125 --> 00:25:18,492
My ball...
547
00:25:18,494 --> 00:25:21,829
My balls!
548
00:25:23,231 --> 00:25:25,299
That makes me laugh, Bob.
549
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:53,760
Get away from me!
550
00:26:09,077 --> 00:26:10,277
Wow!
551
00:26:10,279 --> 00:26:11,445
[GROANS]
552
00:26:11,447 --> 00:26:12,579
[MURMURING] Who is this girl?
553
00:26:12,581 --> 00:26:14,248
What district is she from?
554
00:26:14,250 --> 00:26:17,818
I'm standing here in
scummy District 12,
555
00:26:17,820 --> 00:26:21,121
where people can't believe
that Peter and Kantmiss
556
00:26:21,123 --> 00:26:23,523
have actually
survived the opening.
557
00:26:23,525 --> 00:26:25,559
You can see the
excitement is high,
558
00:26:25,561 --> 00:26:29,963
as no one from this district
has won in a very long time.
559
00:26:29,965 --> 00:26:31,198
Yeah! Unh!
560
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,200
Go, Kantmiss! Whoo!
561
00:26:33,202 --> 00:26:34,268
That's my girl!
562
00:26:34,270 --> 00:26:36,436
[LAUGHS] That's my girl!
563
00:26:36,438 --> 00:26:38,105
[LAUGHING] Yeah!
564
00:26:38,107 --> 00:26:40,173
Back to you in the studio.
565
00:26:40,175 --> 00:26:41,675
I'm on TV!
566
00:26:41,677 --> 00:26:43,176
Thanks, Stanley.
567
00:26:43,178 --> 00:26:44,818
And how's the scoreboard
looking, Cleaver?
568
00:26:47,982 --> 00:26:49,616
Got a lot of people dead.
569
00:26:49,618 --> 00:26:52,119
Still, lot of people alive.
570
00:26:52,121 --> 00:26:53,553
Enlightening.
571
00:26:53,555 --> 00:26:56,023
Oh, looks like Kantmiss
is making her way
572
00:26:56,025 --> 00:26:57,891
to the outer edge of the arena.
573
00:27:00,061 --> 00:27:02,029
[BEEP] Siri, slow her down.
574
00:27:08,469 --> 00:27:09,836
Ow.
575
00:27:09,838 --> 00:27:12,673
Now let's get Kantmiss back
to the centre of the action.
576
00:27:12,675 --> 00:27:13,807
Holla!
577
00:27:13,809 --> 00:27:16,276
And cue the thrilling
action music.
578
00:27:16,278 --> 00:27:18,145
SIRI: Ooh.
579
00:27:18,147 --> 00:27:19,680
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING]
580
00:27:29,958 --> 00:27:31,491
[CROWD GASPING]
581
00:27:32,593 --> 00:27:33,627
[GASPS]
582
00:27:36,130 --> 00:27:38,966
[SCREAMING]
583
00:27:50,979 --> 00:27:51,979
Hmm.
584
00:28:05,860 --> 00:28:08,362
[CHEERING]
585
00:28:09,430 --> 00:28:11,832
Oh, you want to
play, huh? Okay.
586
00:28:11,834 --> 00:28:13,100
[BEEP] Siri.
587
00:28:13,102 --> 00:28:14,101
Yeah, what you need?
588
00:28:14,103 --> 00:28:15,135
Attack her with the latest
589
00:28:15,137 --> 00:28:16,703
technological weaponry we have.
590
00:28:21,075 --> 00:28:23,143
Whoo-hah!
591
00:28:23,145 --> 00:28:24,277
Oh, shit!
592
00:28:24,279 --> 00:28:28,015
Yah! Whee hee hee!
593
00:28:28,017 --> 00:28:29,649
Hee hee hee!
594
00:28:30,818 --> 00:28:33,553
[LAUGHTER]
595
00:28:34,789 --> 00:28:36,356
[FALLING OBJECT
WHISTLES] [GASPS]
596
00:28:37,158 --> 00:28:38,692
[CROWD GASPS]
597
00:28:59,013 --> 00:29:00,147
No.
598
00:29:00,149 --> 00:29:01,648
What? What?
599
00:29:01,650 --> 00:29:03,984
Orange you glad to see me?
600
00:29:03,986 --> 00:29:05,752
[LAUGHS] Hey, hey, hey!
601
00:29:05,754 --> 00:29:07,988
What do you get when
you cross an orange
602
00:29:07,990 --> 00:29:09,589
with Quentin Tarantino?
603
00:29:09,591 --> 00:29:11,324
"Pulp Fiction." You get it?
604
00:29:11,326 --> 00:29:13,927
[GROANING] Pulp. [LAUGHS]
605
00:29:13,929 --> 00:29:15,362
Hey, Kantmiss,
606
00:29:15,364 --> 00:29:16,830
last time I saw tits that small,
607
00:29:16,832 --> 00:29:18,999
I was staring at a
pair of kumquats.
608
00:29:19,001 --> 00:29:20,067
[LAUGHS]
609
00:29:20,069 --> 00:29:21,902
Aah!
610
00:29:21,904 --> 00:29:23,737
[CHEERING]
611
00:29:27,875 --> 00:29:29,409
Go, Kantmiss!
612
00:29:31,312 --> 00:29:32,913
[BEEP] Ooh,
613
00:29:32,915 --> 00:29:35,215
she sure showed
yo' sorry ass up!
614
00:29:35,217 --> 00:29:37,451
You... You shut up,
Siri. You shut up!
615
00:29:37,453 --> 00:29:38,652
Shit. Don't hate the player.
616
00:29:38,654 --> 00:29:40,854
You... Hate the game!
617
00:29:40,856 --> 00:29:44,391
Wow! I've never seen
anyone do that before.
618
00:29:44,393 --> 00:29:46,226
She's badass.
619
00:29:46,228 --> 00:29:47,461
Respect.
620
00:29:47,463 --> 00:29:49,496
Reminds me a little
bit of myself.
621
00:29:49,498 --> 00:29:51,865
I'll stop now before
I get too emotional.
622
00:29:51,867 --> 00:29:53,834
Eat my ass!
623
00:29:57,205 --> 00:29:58,371
[SIGHS]
624
00:29:58,373 --> 00:29:59,973
Think you're so tough?
625
00:29:59,975 --> 00:30:02,843
Well, come back
from this, bitch!
626
00:30:04,812 --> 00:30:06,813
[LAUGHS]
627
00:30:10,351 --> 00:30:11,718
[BOYS GRUNTING]
628
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:15,455
[BOY LAUGHS] [GROANS]
629
00:30:15,457 --> 00:30:16,990
[CANNON FIRES]
630
00:30:21,062 --> 00:30:23,797
Hey, guys, come on!
Let's go this way!
631
00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:26,566
GIRL: Come on. Hurry!
632
00:30:26,568 --> 00:30:27,767
BOY: Let's go!
633
00:30:44,252 --> 00:30:46,319
[GROANS]
634
00:30:46,321 --> 00:30:48,188
GIRL: When I see
her, she's mine.
635
00:30:57,798 --> 00:31:00,167
BOY: She's gotta be
around here somewhere.
636
00:31:09,777 --> 00:31:11,311
You sure Kantmiss came this way?
637
00:31:11,313 --> 00:31:12,846
PETER: Uh, I know it.
638
00:31:12,848 --> 00:31:15,248
How can we be so sure
that we can trust you?
639
00:31:15,250 --> 00:31:17,017
I mean, didn't you volunteer
to be in the games
640
00:31:17,019 --> 00:31:18,451
just so you can get
closer to Kantmiss?
641
00:31:18,453 --> 00:31:19,786
No.
642
00:31:19,788 --> 00:31:22,756
I mean, maybe at first,
643
00:31:22,758 --> 00:31:25,392
but I don't like her anymore.
644
00:31:25,394 --> 00:31:26,459
Really?
645
00:31:26,461 --> 00:31:28,461
Well, you know,
646
00:31:28,463 --> 00:31:30,864
back in District 12, she's...
647
00:31:30,866 --> 00:31:32,899
She's known as quite the whore.
648
00:31:32,901 --> 00:31:33,901
Ahh.
649
00:31:36,137 --> 00:31:37,237
There.
650
00:31:37,239 --> 00:31:38,238
Heh.
651
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:39,906
Nice work, Peter.
652
00:31:39,908 --> 00:31:41,708
Thanks.
653
00:31:41,710 --> 00:31:43,810
I'm gonna bust her
gut wide open.
654
00:31:44,946 --> 00:31:46,780
This little princess
is all mine.
655
00:31:49,517 --> 00:31:52,185
Raah! [MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYS]
656
00:31:52,187 --> 00:31:53,787
[LAUGHING]
657
00:31:57,358 --> 00:31:58,458
And there's Kantmiss!
658
00:31:58,460 --> 00:32:00,660
Oh, no. We're gonna kill you.
659
00:32:00,662 --> 00:32:02,829
Right after we eat our
delicious treats.
660
00:32:02,831 --> 00:32:04,164
Huh?
661
00:32:09,737 --> 00:32:11,671
How can you be with them?
662
00:32:11,673 --> 00:32:14,207
I don't know.
663
00:32:14,209 --> 00:32:16,776
I... I guess I just...
664
00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:19,646
really like them. [LAUGHS]
665
00:32:19,648 --> 00:32:22,148
Th-They're so
cool and popular.
666
00:32:22,150 --> 00:32:24,084
I mean, I'm in the
high school A/V club.
667
00:32:24,086 --> 00:32:27,287
I've never been able to hang
with the in crowd before.
668
00:32:27,289 --> 00:32:28,989
Mmm. Stay with us.
669
00:32:28,991 --> 00:32:29,990
So good.
670
00:32:29,992 --> 00:32:31,191
Mmm. Oh.
671
00:32:31,193 --> 00:32:34,194
Hey, they said they want
to go to prom with me.
672
00:32:34,196 --> 00:32:36,529
We're gonna rent a
limo and everything.
673
00:32:36,531 --> 00:32:37,597
Isn't that awesome?
674
00:32:37,599 --> 00:32:39,933
Peter, they are just using you.
675
00:32:39,935 --> 00:32:43,803
There can only be one winner
of the Starving Games.
676
00:32:47,475 --> 00:32:48,875
Right.
677
00:32:50,678 --> 00:32:52,679
All right, Kantmiss, game over.
678
00:32:52,681 --> 00:32:54,981
Glammer, you're up.
679
00:32:59,420 --> 00:33:00,553
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
680
00:33:00,555 --> 00:33:02,622
[WHOOPING]
681
00:33:02,624 --> 00:33:05,692
Oh! Looks like we got
ourselves a streaker.
682
00:33:05,694 --> 00:33:07,594
Happens every Game.
683
00:33:07,596 --> 00:33:10,530
What a yahoo.
684
00:33:10,532 --> 00:33:12,299
[LAUGHING]
685
00:33:12,301 --> 00:33:14,934
[LAUGHING]
686
00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:20,774
Get out of here, man.
Get out of here!
687
00:33:20,776 --> 00:33:22,676
Come back here.
Come back here.
688
00:33:24,345 --> 00:33:26,179
Give me that.
689
00:33:34,121 --> 00:33:35,689
[GASPS]
690
00:33:37,792 --> 00:33:40,260
Nice impaling. Yeah.
691
00:33:40,262 --> 00:33:41,261
He did this.
692
00:33:41,263 --> 00:33:42,262
Then it did that.
693
00:33:42,264 --> 00:33:43,463
Indeed, Cleaver.
694
00:33:43,465 --> 00:33:44,631
And that's definitely gonna be
695
00:33:44,633 --> 00:33:47,500
our Kill of the Day!
696
00:33:47,502 --> 00:33:48,768
Kill of the Day!
697
00:33:48,770 --> 00:33:51,838
Kill of the Day... Of the Day!
698
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:53,239
Our Kill of the Day
is brought to you
699
00:33:53,241 --> 00:33:54,908
by BetLife insurance.
700
00:33:54,910 --> 00:33:56,309
Because life is precious...
701
00:33:56,311 --> 00:33:58,111
BetLife.
702
00:34:01,615 --> 00:34:02,615
How are we going to kill her?
703
00:34:02,617 --> 00:34:05,018
Ahem.
704
00:34:05,020 --> 00:34:06,252
Uh...
705
00:34:07,121 --> 00:34:09,122
why don't we just take off,
706
00:34:09,124 --> 00:34:10,824
uh, go kill some other kids
707
00:34:10,826 --> 00:34:12,158
and come back later?
708
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:13,093
We'll wait.
709
00:34:13,095 --> 00:34:14,994
She has to come down
sooner or later.
710
00:34:22,903 --> 00:34:26,806
[WHISTLES A TUNE]
711
00:34:26,808 --> 00:34:30,710
[BIRD CHIRPS]
712
00:34:30,712 --> 00:34:34,180
[WHISTLES A TUNE]
713
00:34:37,585 --> 00:34:40,286
[BIRD CHIRPS]
714
00:34:44,759 --> 00:34:46,393
[SIGHS]
715
00:34:47,628 --> 00:34:49,129
Gross.
716
00:34:49,131 --> 00:34:50,330
[GROANS]
717
00:34:56,036 --> 00:34:57,971
Hey.
718
00:34:57,973 --> 00:34:59,239
Shh.
719
00:35:07,381 --> 00:35:09,416
[BEES BUZZING]
720
00:35:09,418 --> 00:35:10,483
Oh.
721
00:35:13,053 --> 00:35:15,054
Have the bees land
on their heads.
722
00:35:15,890 --> 00:35:17,357
Okay. No, shh. Shh.
723
00:35:18,359 --> 00:35:20,860
[CHAIN SAW BUZZING]
724
00:35:28,502 --> 00:35:29,969
Those are tracker bees.
725
00:35:29,971 --> 00:35:32,338
Getting stung causes
serious hallucinations.
726
00:35:32,340 --> 00:35:33,340
Or death.
727
00:35:35,743 --> 00:35:37,477
Oh!
728
00:35:37,479 --> 00:35:40,580
[SCREAMING]
729
00:35:40,582 --> 00:35:42,382
[SCREAMS]
730
00:35:42,384 --> 00:35:44,417
[BEES BUZZING]
731
00:35:44,419 --> 00:35:46,286
Ow! Ow!
732
00:35:46,288 --> 00:35:47,387
Oh! My ass! Aah!
733
00:35:47,389 --> 00:35:50,590
[COUGHS] I think I
just swallowed one!
734
00:35:50,592 --> 00:35:53,226
[SCREAMING]
735
00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:58,364
Whoa.
736
00:35:58,366 --> 00:35:59,999
Ooh.
737
00:36:02,169 --> 00:36:04,471
Whoa. Ooh.
738
00:36:05,473 --> 00:36:07,674
What... [MUTTERS]
739
00:36:07,676 --> 00:36:09,576
[PANTING, GROANING]
740
00:36:12,446 --> 00:36:14,547
Oh, my God. Oh!
741
00:36:14,549 --> 00:36:16,916
Oh. Oh.
742
00:36:16,918 --> 00:36:19,118
[SITAR PLAYING]
743
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,687
Whoo.
744
00:36:20,689 --> 00:36:23,490
Oh. [SIGHS]
745
00:36:23,492 --> 00:36:25,592
No way.
746
00:36:25,594 --> 00:36:28,228
Double rainbow.
747
00:36:29,430 --> 00:36:31,764
Whoo!
748
00:36:31,766 --> 00:36:34,701
Double rainbow! Ha!
749
00:36:34,703 --> 00:36:35,935
Oh.
750
00:36:36,904 --> 00:36:38,605
It's starting to look
751
00:36:38,607 --> 00:36:42,675
like a quadruple rainbow!
752
00:36:42,677 --> 00:36:47,680
Oh, my Gooood!
753
00:36:47,682 --> 00:36:50,250
Yes! Yes!
754
00:36:50,252 --> 00:36:52,852
Ah ha ha!
755
00:36:52,854 --> 00:36:55,588
Oh, taste the rainbow.
756
00:37:03,297 --> 00:37:05,732
[GROANING]
757
00:37:05,734 --> 00:37:07,867
Ooh.
758
00:37:07,869 --> 00:37:09,502
Oh. Oh.
759
00:37:09,504 --> 00:37:11,638
Oh. Wha?
760
00:37:13,474 --> 00:37:14,474
Oh, my...
761
00:37:14,476 --> 00:37:15,476
What is...
762
00:37:21,749 --> 00:37:22,949
Oh.
763
00:37:24,919 --> 00:37:26,853
Do not make any
sudden movements.
764
00:37:26,855 --> 00:37:27,887
What's wrong?
765
00:37:27,889 --> 00:37:29,889
[BUBBLING]
766
00:37:29,891 --> 00:37:32,191
I've never seen
this happen before.
767
00:37:34,395 --> 00:37:36,529
What are they?
768
00:37:36,531 --> 00:37:38,498
Soul keepers.
769
00:37:38,500 --> 00:37:40,099
Soul keepers!
770
00:37:40,101 --> 00:37:42,001
Ah! Oh, my God! Get
'em off! Get 'em off!
771
00:37:42,003 --> 00:37:43,570
Get 'em off! Get 'em off!
772
00:37:43,572 --> 00:37:45,305
You are not keeping my soul!
773
00:37:45,307 --> 00:37:47,440
[SQUEALS]
774
00:37:50,611 --> 00:37:52,045
[SQUEALS]
775
00:37:53,747 --> 00:37:55,014
[SQUEALS]
776
00:37:55,016 --> 00:37:56,950
[SQUEALS] Oh! Why?
777
00:37:56,952 --> 00:37:58,084
[SQUEALS]
778
00:37:58,086 --> 00:37:59,686
[SQUEALS] Right
above your head.
779
00:37:59,688 --> 00:38:00,987
No, no, no, no. [SQUEALS]
780
00:38:03,757 --> 00:38:05,258
[ZAPPING]
781
00:38:05,260 --> 00:38:07,393
[GASPING] [SQUEALING]
782
00:38:09,496 --> 00:38:10,630
Whew.
783
00:38:10,632 --> 00:38:13,499
I think I got 'em all.
784
00:38:13,501 --> 00:38:17,003
Soul Keepers hold all of the
souls of our ancient ancestors.
785
00:38:17,972 --> 00:38:19,339
There goes my sister,
786
00:38:19,341 --> 00:38:20,773
my grandma
787
00:38:20,775 --> 00:38:22,408
and my drunk Aunt Sheila.
788
00:38:22,410 --> 00:38:23,776
[WHIMPERS]
789
00:38:23,778 --> 00:38:25,912
Oops.
790
00:38:25,914 --> 00:38:27,847
Who are you?
791
00:38:27,849 --> 00:38:29,616
We are a proud and
ancient people
792
00:38:29,618 --> 00:38:32,719
created by James Cameron.
793
00:38:32,721 --> 00:38:35,855
I'm the king of the world!
794
00:38:35,857 --> 00:38:39,459
[LAUGHS]
795
00:38:41,428 --> 00:38:43,396
Here.
796
00:38:43,398 --> 00:38:45,031
Give me your hair.
797
00:38:45,033 --> 00:38:46,899
We'll join the ends
and make love,
798
00:38:46,901 --> 00:38:48,935
Na'vi style.
799
00:38:48,937 --> 00:38:50,203
Okay.
800
00:38:53,907 --> 00:38:55,875
[CRACKLING] [MOANS]
801
00:38:55,877 --> 00:38:56,943
[COOING]
802
00:38:56,945 --> 00:38:59,545
[MOANING]
803
00:38:59,547 --> 00:39:01,247
Ohh. [SHUDDERS]
804
00:39:01,249 --> 00:39:02,348
Yeah.
805
00:39:02,350 --> 00:39:04,350
Oh, yes.
806
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,021
Kantmiss.
807
00:39:08,023 --> 00:39:10,289
Kantmiss!
808
00:39:10,291 --> 00:39:11,391
Kantmiss!
809
00:39:12,459 --> 00:39:14,360
Kantmiss!
810
00:39:14,362 --> 00:39:15,628
Yes.
811
00:39:15,630 --> 00:39:17,363
Kantmiss! Kantmiss!
812
00:39:17,365 --> 00:39:19,198
Kantmiss!
813
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:21,034
Are you trying to
hook up with me?
814
00:39:23,037 --> 00:39:24,070
What? No!
815
00:39:24,072 --> 00:39:26,205
No, no, no, no. Um...
816
00:39:26,207 --> 00:39:28,274
I think that I was
just hallucinating.
817
00:39:28,276 --> 00:39:31,344
You better not
be. I'm only 12.
818
00:39:33,113 --> 00:39:35,615
The way I see it, if
we're gonna survive,
819
00:39:35,617 --> 00:39:37,016
we should work together.
820
00:39:37,018 --> 00:39:39,886
But what happens if we're
the last two standing?
821
00:39:39,888 --> 00:39:41,454
I won't hesitate.
822
00:39:41,456 --> 00:39:44,290
This competition is
kill or be killed,
823
00:39:44,292 --> 00:39:46,559
and I will kill you
where you stand,
824
00:39:46,561 --> 00:39:48,594
dead, end of story.
825
00:39:49,797 --> 00:39:51,230
Shit ain't personal,
826
00:39:51,232 --> 00:39:54,434
strictly business ya dig?
827
00:39:54,436 --> 00:39:57,303
Okay. Here's what
I was thinking.
828
00:39:57,305 --> 00:39:58,771
I could set some fires
829
00:39:58,773 --> 00:40:01,274
to flush Marco and his crew
out into the clearing,
830
00:40:01,276 --> 00:40:03,576
and if you find a bow and arrow,
831
00:40:03,578 --> 00:40:04,911
you could pick 'em off.
832
00:40:04,913 --> 00:40:07,380
No, no. That's...
That's a great idea,
833
00:40:07,382 --> 00:40:09,816
and Marco will never
see it coming.
834
00:40:09,818 --> 00:40:11,984
Hello?
835
00:40:11,986 --> 00:40:12,985
I'm right here.
836
00:40:12,987 --> 00:40:15,388
Run! Run!
837
00:40:25,032 --> 00:40:26,332
Get her!
838
00:40:35,642 --> 00:40:37,076
[LAUGHS]
839
00:40:43,650 --> 00:40:45,752
[THINKING] Shit.
840
00:40:45,754 --> 00:40:47,453
Totally outnumbered.
841
00:40:55,496 --> 00:40:57,697
What do I do? What do I do?
842
00:40:57,699 --> 00:40:59,332
Think, Kantmiss. Think.
843
00:41:06,406 --> 00:41:08,674
Haemorrhoidal irritation.
844
00:41:10,811 --> 00:41:14,180
Aggravate with a swift
kick to the posterior.
845
00:41:14,182 --> 00:41:15,515
[SLOW MOTION] Raah!
846
00:41:21,421 --> 00:41:23,189
Low-hung scrotum.
Debilitate with
847
00:41:23,191 --> 00:41:26,659
concise rabbit punch
to the testicular sac.
848
00:41:36,503 --> 00:41:40,139
Awkward metallic orthodontic
corrective device.
849
00:41:42,810 --> 00:41:45,711
Snap rubber bands to create
blunt force to the cranium.
850
00:41:52,319 --> 00:41:54,620
Rampant adolescent
acne vulgaris.
851
00:41:55,622 --> 00:41:57,156
Ah.
852
00:41:57,158 --> 00:41:59,859
Prescribe topical acne cream.
853
00:42:09,670 --> 00:42:12,004
Pubescent boy with
raging hormones.
854
00:42:12,006 --> 00:42:13,706
Disarm with natural assets.
855
00:42:13,708 --> 00:42:15,975
[BOY GASPS]
856
00:42:15,977 --> 00:42:17,643
Allow to motorboat.
857
00:42:17,645 --> 00:42:19,612
[BABBLES]
858
00:42:19,614 --> 00:42:20,780
You're pretty.
859
00:42:20,782 --> 00:42:23,416
[BONES SNAP]
860
00:42:31,425 --> 00:42:33,759
[SLOW MOTION] Raah!
861
00:42:44,605 --> 00:42:45,771
[BABBLES]
862
00:42:45,773 --> 00:42:46,806
Hee.
863
00:42:46,808 --> 00:42:47,840
[BONES SNAP]
864
00:42:50,811 --> 00:42:53,246
[BIRDS SQUAWK]
865
00:42:53,248 --> 00:42:54,714
You ready to die?
866
00:42:57,217 --> 00:42:59,552
[CROWD GASPS]
867
00:43:06,994 --> 00:43:08,461
Not really!
868
00:43:08,463 --> 00:43:10,062
I mean, kind of hoping
869
00:43:10,064 --> 00:43:11,330
I could stick around
for the sequel?
870
00:43:11,332 --> 00:43:12,531
Huh? Huh?
871
00:43:16,203 --> 00:43:17,470
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
872
00:43:18,872 --> 00:43:20,273
Mm!
873
00:43:20,275 --> 00:43:23,042
All right! We know
what that sound is.
874
00:43:23,044 --> 00:43:24,377
It's the end of the half.
875
00:43:24,379 --> 00:43:27,246
[CROWD SIGHS]
876
00:43:27,248 --> 00:43:28,247
[GRUMBLES]
877
00:43:28,249 --> 00:43:29,982
[GROANS] Ah, that sucks.
878
00:43:29,984 --> 00:43:31,250
I wanted to see her die.
879
00:43:31,252 --> 00:43:32,518
ANNOUNCER: Halftime
880
00:43:32,520 --> 00:43:35,121
with the Starving
Games cheerleaders,
881
00:43:35,123 --> 00:43:37,056
presented by Viagra.
882
00:43:37,058 --> 00:43:38,324
♪ Move Move ♪
883
00:43:38,326 --> 00:43:40,459
♪ Move Move ♪
884
00:43:40,461 --> 00:43:42,428
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
885
00:43:42,430 --> 00:43:44,463
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock, rock, rock ♪
886
00:43:44,465 --> 00:43:46,365
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
887
00:43:46,367 --> 00:43:48,467
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
888
00:43:48,469 --> 00:43:49,669
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house... ♪
889
00:43:49,671 --> 00:43:52,038
Eh, I like it, Siri,
but it's not...
890
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,040
It's not popping.
891
00:43:54,042 --> 00:43:55,341
Don't worry, boo. I got you.
892
00:43:55,343 --> 00:43:57,977
More filthy and
gratuitous T&A coming up.
893
00:43:57,979 --> 00:43:59,345
♪ [BOING] Rock, rock ♪
894
00:43:59,347 --> 00:44:00,980
♪ Feel the motion ♪
♪ as the mood changes ♪
895
00:44:00,982 --> 00:44:03,516
♪ Round and round just ♪
♪ like the moon phases ♪
896
00:44:03,518 --> 00:44:05,351
♪ This the part that keeps ♪
♪ the place blazin' ♪
897
00:44:05,353 --> 00:44:06,352
♪ Uh-huh Feel the vibe ♪
898
00:44:06,354 --> 00:44:08,020
♪ I like it, amazing ♪
899
00:44:08,022 --> 00:44:09,355
♪ We go hard, ♪
♪ overnight ball ♪
900
00:44:09,357 --> 00:44:11,424
♪ Party right, so ♪
♪ it can't be wrong ♪
901
00:44:11,426 --> 00:44:12,725
♪ My team cannot lose ♪
902
00:44:12,727 --> 00:44:15,461
♪ Here to put on ♪
♪ a show for you ♪
903
00:44:15,463 --> 00:44:16,896
♪ It's time to rock ♪
♪ the house ♪
904
00:44:16,898 --> 00:44:19,031
[CHEERING]
905
00:44:19,033 --> 00:44:20,766
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
906
00:44:20,768 --> 00:44:22,668
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock, rock, rock ♪
907
00:44:22,670 --> 00:44:24,537
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
908
00:44:24,539 --> 00:44:26,505
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
909
00:44:26,507 --> 00:44:28,040
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
910
00:44:28,042 --> 00:44:30,409
♪ Move, move It's ♪
♪ time to rock, rock ♪
911
00:44:30,411 --> 00:44:33,212
Kantmiss, what an
exciting first half.
912
00:44:33,214 --> 00:44:34,914
Tell us what you're
thinking right now.
913
00:44:34,916 --> 00:44:38,784
First off, I want to thank my
Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
914
00:44:41,421 --> 00:44:44,090
And, uh, I'm thinking
about winning, Stanley.
915
00:44:44,092 --> 00:44:45,324
I just want to win.
916
00:44:48,195 --> 00:44:49,428
Bob.
917
00:44:49,430 --> 00:44:51,831
Stanley, do you get a
sense that Kantmiss
918
00:44:51,833 --> 00:44:54,100
is aware of the frenzy
she's creating?
919
00:44:54,102 --> 00:44:55,334
I don't think so, Bob.
920
00:44:55,336 --> 00:44:56,769
She's electrifying.
921
00:44:57,904 --> 00:45:02,375
Cleaver's Electrifying
Halftime Highlights.
922
00:45:07,347 --> 00:45:08,547
[LAUGHS]
923
00:45:08,549 --> 00:45:09,549
Aah!
924
00:45:11,852 --> 00:45:13,552
♪ Yeah Go ♪
925
00:45:16,123 --> 00:45:18,724
♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! Go ♪
926
00:45:18,726 --> 00:45:20,092
[FARTS]
927
00:45:24,998 --> 00:45:27,800
Take a look at what's trending
right now on Twitter.
928
00:45:27,802 --> 00:45:32,071
Helen in District 7 tweets,
"Kantmiss gives me hope!"
929
00:45:32,073 --> 00:45:34,173
And Thomas in
District 11 writes,
930
00:45:34,175 --> 00:45:38,644
"Kantmiss rocks,
UR sooooo hot!"
931
00:45:38,646 --> 00:45:41,180
And Tyrone in the District
of Compton tweets,
932
00:45:41,182 --> 00:45:43,616
"Yo, that ho
Kantmiss is da bomb,
933
00:45:43,618 --> 00:45:45,851
she's mad blowing
up in da hood, yo!"
934
00:45:45,853 --> 00:45:48,020
Smiley face emotion.
935
00:45:48,022 --> 00:45:49,355
She is blowing up,
936
00:45:49,357 --> 00:45:50,723
and I had the chance to be
937
00:45:50,725 --> 00:45:52,892
on the ground in
Kantmiss' own district,
938
00:45:52,894 --> 00:45:56,562
where Kantmiss fever is
at an all-time high!
939
00:45:56,564 --> 00:45:58,631
STANLEY: I'm here
in District 12,
940
00:45:58,633 --> 00:46:00,666
where everyone is going nuts.
941
00:46:00,668 --> 00:46:02,601
It's the ultimate underdog
Cinderella story,
942
00:46:02,603 --> 00:46:05,237
and the po' folks
here is eating it up,
943
00:46:05,239 --> 00:46:09,208
buying up merchandise with any
and everything that has to do
944
00:46:09,210 --> 00:46:12,344
with Kantmiss or the
Starving Games.
945
00:46:12,346 --> 00:46:14,280
T-shirts, mugs,
946
00:46:14,282 --> 00:46:16,248
totes, koozies
947
00:46:16,250 --> 00:46:18,717
and bobble heads.
948
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:20,019
[BOING]
949
00:46:25,959 --> 00:46:28,694
Look at me. I'm
just like Kantmiss.
950
00:46:28,696 --> 00:46:29,995
Ohh!
951
00:46:29,997 --> 00:46:31,564
Mis Cojones.
952
00:46:31,566 --> 00:46:33,532
Yes! Direct hit!
953
00:46:33,534 --> 00:46:36,001
I'm gonna shoot him again.
954
00:46:36,003 --> 00:46:37,570
Ai! Cheese enchilada!
955
00:46:37,572 --> 00:46:39,071
Oh, that felt good.
956
00:46:41,541 --> 00:46:43,576
[SLURPING]
957
00:46:44,678 --> 00:46:46,412
That was a close one. Yeah.
958
00:46:46,414 --> 00:46:47,413
I almost got you.
959
00:46:47,415 --> 00:46:48,981
I know. I was like, "Ohh."
960
00:46:48,983 --> 00:46:50,683
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
961
00:46:54,387 --> 00:46:56,155
Take previous positions.
962
00:46:57,557 --> 00:46:58,924
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
963
00:46:58,926 --> 00:47:00,092
Game on!
964
00:47:00,094 --> 00:47:01,627
Yay!
965
00:47:04,564 --> 00:47:06,298
You ready to die?
966
00:47:06,300 --> 00:47:07,666
[GASPS]
967
00:47:11,071 --> 00:47:13,005
[SLOW-MOTION GASPING]
968
00:47:14,941 --> 00:47:17,309
[LAUGHING]
969
00:47:17,311 --> 00:47:20,146
[CHEERING]
970
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:28,454
Aah! Aah!
971
00:47:28,456 --> 00:47:29,555
You little turd!
972
00:47:29,557 --> 00:47:31,390
Hey! [SCREAMING]
973
00:47:31,392 --> 00:47:32,892
Hey!
974
00:47:32,894 --> 00:47:34,126
[SCREAMS]
975
00:47:34,128 --> 00:47:35,194
[GROANS]
976
00:47:41,301 --> 00:47:43,769
[K-POP PLAYS]
977
00:47:43,771 --> 00:47:44,803
Aah!
978
00:47:49,809 --> 00:47:51,076
[COUGHS]
979
00:47:53,346 --> 00:47:55,114
Rudy.
980
00:47:55,116 --> 00:47:56,116
Rudy.
981
00:47:57,217 --> 00:47:59,451
Sing me a lullaby.
982
00:47:59,453 --> 00:48:00,653
Okay.
983
00:48:03,089 --> 00:48:05,124
♪ La, la la la... ♪
984
00:48:05,126 --> 00:48:06,525
Not you!
985
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:08,561
Her!
986
00:48:10,697 --> 00:48:13,899
♪ Please shut your eyes ♪
987
00:48:13,901 --> 00:48:17,136
♪ Your life is fading out ♪
988
00:48:17,138 --> 00:48:18,337
Am I gonna die?
989
00:48:18,339 --> 00:48:19,572
No. No, no, no.
990
00:48:19,574 --> 00:48:21,307
Of course you're not gonna die.
991
00:48:21,309 --> 00:48:24,910
♪ Yes, you are ♪
♪ going to die ♪
992
00:48:24,912 --> 00:48:27,646
♪ And worms will ♪
♪ fill your mouth ♪
993
00:48:27,648 --> 00:48:30,616
Worms? Isn't that a
little dramatic?
994
00:48:30,618 --> 00:48:33,552
♪ Just check right now ♪
995
00:48:33,554 --> 00:48:39,625
♪ The worms are all about ♪
996
00:48:39,627 --> 00:48:41,694
Damn you, Taylor Swift.
997
00:48:41,696 --> 00:48:44,230
What an emotional and...
998
00:48:44,232 --> 00:48:46,732
moving death, Cleaver.
999
00:48:46,734 --> 00:48:49,001
It would bring a tear to my eye
1000
00:48:49,003 --> 00:48:51,570
if my tear ducts
weren't lacerated.
1001
00:48:52,372 --> 00:48:53,439
[EYE CLATTERS]
1002
00:48:53,441 --> 00:48:54,440
Ohh. Ohh.
1003
00:48:54,442 --> 00:48:56,008
[SNIFFLING]
1004
00:48:57,210 --> 00:48:58,777
I'm sorry.
1005
00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:07,152
This is bullshit.
1006
00:49:07,154 --> 00:49:09,722
The Capital can't just
treat us like pawns.
1007
00:49:09,724 --> 00:49:11,223
Yeah! Yeah!
1008
00:49:11,225 --> 00:49:13,259
Our life is our own,
1009
00:49:13,261 --> 00:49:15,494
and they can't just
make us kill each other
1010
00:49:15,496 --> 00:49:17,229
for their own sick amusement!
1011
00:49:17,231 --> 00:49:18,297
Yeah! Yeah!
1012
00:49:18,299 --> 00:49:19,331
What do you say?
1013
00:49:19,333 --> 00:49:20,566
Let's riot
1014
00:49:20,568 --> 00:49:23,602
and overthrow this
totalitarian government
1015
00:49:23,604 --> 00:49:25,604
once and for all!
1016
00:49:25,606 --> 00:49:26,605
Yeah! Yeah!
1017
00:49:26,607 --> 00:49:28,340
Whoo-hoo! [CHEERING]
1018
00:49:30,644 --> 00:49:34,013
We take a half-pound
of grade-A beef...
1019
00:49:34,015 --> 00:49:35,614
[MURMURING] and top
it with cheese.
1020
00:49:35,616 --> 00:49:36,982
[STOMACHS GURGLING]
1021
00:49:36,984 --> 00:49:40,219
Then we top it with chili...
1022
00:49:41,721 --> 00:49:44,623
and a hot dog and ribs
1023
00:49:44,625 --> 00:49:47,893
and smother it with
low-cal ranch dressing.
1024
00:49:47,895 --> 00:49:51,196
Then we top it with a
slice of pepperoni pizza,
1025
00:49:51,198 --> 00:49:53,132
with a sesame-seed bun.
1026
00:49:53,134 --> 00:49:54,333
Mmm, mmm.
1027
00:49:55,402 --> 00:49:57,770
Hey, uh... [STOMACHS GURGLING]
1028
00:49:57,772 --> 00:49:59,705
Are we still gonna riot?
1029
00:49:59,707 --> 00:50:01,774
Maybe later.
1030
00:50:01,776 --> 00:50:03,742
I'm too hungry now.
1031
00:50:03,744 --> 00:50:06,211
Then we add barbecue sauce...
1032
00:50:07,714 --> 00:50:10,115
tomato, onion and lettuce.
1033
00:50:12,786 --> 00:50:14,553
Then we add pork rinds,
1034
00:50:14,555 --> 00:50:16,855
Funyuns, broccoli, nacho cheese,
1035
00:50:16,857 --> 00:50:18,657
Spam and wings...
1036
00:50:20,193 --> 00:50:21,994
and ham hocks, chitlins.
1037
00:50:22,962 --> 00:50:24,930
Don't forget the
watermelon wedge.
1038
00:50:24,932 --> 00:50:28,567
Top it all off with two scoops
of pistachio ice cream,
1039
00:50:28,569 --> 00:50:31,503
and finish it with
another sesame-seed bun.
1040
00:50:31,505 --> 00:50:32,805
[ALL SIGH]
1041
00:50:32,807 --> 00:50:37,076
The 600,000 calorie
triple bypass burger.
1042
00:50:38,712 --> 00:50:39,812
Starbucks?
1043
00:50:39,814 --> 00:50:41,347
Got a free latte for it.
1044
00:50:48,121 --> 00:50:49,355
[SIGHS]
1045
00:50:52,092 --> 00:50:55,294
Kantmiss fever is causing
a serious problem.
1046
00:50:55,296 --> 00:50:57,396
We almost had a riot.
1047
00:50:57,398 --> 00:50:59,231
What should we do?
1048
00:50:59,233 --> 00:51:01,533
Give them more.
1049
00:51:01,535 --> 00:51:02,968
I don't understand.
1050
00:51:02,970 --> 00:51:04,803
The Starving Games is a hit.
1051
00:51:05,705 --> 00:51:06,972
Just look at the trades.
1052
00:51:11,578 --> 00:51:13,779
We could finally win an Emmy.
1053
00:51:14,914 --> 00:51:17,049
But the show's missing
one important thing.
1054
00:51:17,051 --> 00:51:18,884
What does every
successful show need
1055
00:51:18,886 --> 00:51:20,419
to bring it to the next level?
1056
00:51:21,721 --> 00:51:23,689
I know exactly what you mean.
1057
00:51:23,691 --> 00:51:25,591
A love story! A
lesbian love story!
1058
00:51:25,593 --> 00:51:27,760
Wait. Lesbian love story?
1059
00:51:27,762 --> 00:51:30,662
Who doesn't like to see
two chicks get it on?
1060
00:51:30,664 --> 00:51:33,065
I know I do, big time.
1061
00:51:33,900 --> 00:51:35,901
♪ Guh-dunh-goh ♪
1062
00:51:36,870 --> 00:51:38,837
But there aren't any other women
1063
00:51:38,839 --> 00:51:40,038
left alive in the Games.
1064
00:51:41,975 --> 00:51:42,908
Fine.
1065
00:51:42,910 --> 00:51:45,778
Do your normal
straight love story.
1066
00:51:45,780 --> 00:51:47,880
Bor-ing.
1067
00:51:50,250 --> 00:51:52,251
Oh, and, Seleca...
1068
00:51:52,253 --> 00:51:54,553
throw in a surprise
twist at the end,
1069
00:51:54,555 --> 00:51:56,755
like she dies or something.
1070
00:51:56,757 --> 00:51:58,323
I like that.
1071
00:51:58,325 --> 00:52:00,058
♪ Guh-dunh-goh ♪
1072
00:52:01,060 --> 00:52:03,328
[P.A.] Attention, contestants.
1073
00:52:03,330 --> 00:52:05,330
Attention, contestants.
1074
00:52:05,332 --> 00:52:07,933
Attention, contestants.
1075
00:52:07,935 --> 00:52:09,902
We have a rule change.
1076
00:52:11,070 --> 00:52:14,106
There can now be two winners
of the Starving Games.
1077
00:52:14,108 --> 00:52:16,108
Great. So Marco and Peter
1078
00:52:16,110 --> 00:52:17,476
can team up to kill me.
1079
00:52:17,478 --> 00:52:20,679
Uh, specifically two people
of different genders.
1080
00:52:20,681 --> 00:52:23,382
[GASPING] Oh.
1081
00:52:23,384 --> 00:52:25,451
Okay. Okay.
1082
00:52:25,453 --> 00:52:28,086
So I hook up with Marco,
1083
00:52:28,088 --> 00:52:29,521
and we kill Peter together.
1084
00:52:29,523 --> 00:52:31,290
Yes! [CHEERING]
1085
00:52:31,292 --> 00:52:33,158
Yeah. I like that.
1086
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:36,795
No, we were thinking more like
you could team up with Peter.
1087
00:52:36,797 --> 00:52:38,564
No! No!
1088
00:52:38,566 --> 00:52:40,199
No! No!
1089
00:52:40,201 --> 00:52:41,834
No, no, I, um...
1090
00:52:41,836 --> 00:52:45,304
I like the whole
Marco idea better.
1091
00:52:45,306 --> 00:52:47,539
Hey, Kantmiss, do
me a favour here,
1092
00:52:47,541 --> 00:52:49,842
and hook up with
Peter. Please.
1093
00:52:49,844 --> 00:52:51,477
I could lose my job for this.
1094
00:52:51,479 --> 00:52:54,446
And that's my problem how?
1095
00:52:54,448 --> 00:52:56,281
[DOOR OPENS] Oh, hey.
1096
00:52:56,283 --> 00:52:57,816
Heh heh. Hey, guys.
What's going on?
1097
00:52:57,818 --> 00:52:59,585
[CROWD MURMURING]
1098
00:52:59,587 --> 00:53:01,320
Nah, don't worry.
1099
00:53:01,322 --> 00:53:04,623
I got it under
control. I swear.
1100
00:53:04,625 --> 00:53:05,958
[LAUGHS] [GUN COCKS]
1101
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:07,493
W-What are you...
What are you doing?
1102
00:53:07,495 --> 00:53:10,028
[GUNSHOT] [ALL GASP]
1103
00:53:10,964 --> 00:53:13,432
[ANNOUNCER GROANS] Um...
1104
00:53:13,434 --> 00:53:15,200
Ohh! [GROANS]
1105
00:53:15,202 --> 00:53:17,669
I thought we were friends.
1106
00:53:17,671 --> 00:53:19,404
[GUN COCKS] Ah, thanks.
1107
00:53:19,406 --> 00:53:21,273
[GUNSHOT]
1108
00:53:21,275 --> 00:53:22,474
[LAUGHS]
1109
00:53:22,476 --> 00:53:26,011
But I got us backstage
passes to Justin Bieber.
1110
00:53:26,013 --> 00:53:29,681
[BARRAGE OF GUNFIRE]
1111
00:53:29,683 --> 00:53:30,883
[GROANS]
1112
00:53:30,885 --> 00:53:32,351
Oh, my God.
1113
00:53:32,353 --> 00:53:33,552
[DOOR CLOSES]
1114
00:53:34,621 --> 00:53:37,055
No. No, no, don't you do it!
1115
00:53:38,291 --> 00:53:39,725
Right.
1116
00:53:39,727 --> 00:53:44,296
Um, I'm just gonna go team
up with Peter now, so...
1117
00:53:44,298 --> 00:53:45,931
[NERVOUS LAUGH]
1118
00:53:48,801 --> 00:53:51,203
Hmm.
1119
00:54:17,830 --> 00:54:20,766
Peter, are you here?
1120
00:54:20,768 --> 00:54:22,801
PETER: I'm camouflaged.
1121
00:54:22,803 --> 00:54:23,969
Where are you?
1122
00:54:23,971 --> 00:54:26,171
I'm over here.
1123
00:54:27,073 --> 00:54:28,173
I don't see you.
1124
00:54:28,175 --> 00:54:29,641
I used my skills as a baker
1125
00:54:29,643 --> 00:54:32,177
to seamlessly blend in
to my surroundings.
1126
00:54:32,179 --> 00:54:35,247
[SIGHS] Okay, well, can
you give me a hint?
1127
00:54:38,518 --> 00:54:40,686
I'm in the cake.
1128
00:54:42,622 --> 00:54:44,623
Oh.
1129
00:54:49,896 --> 00:54:51,964
[GROANS]
1130
00:54:51,966 --> 00:54:53,632
You're injured.
1131
00:54:53,634 --> 00:54:57,035
Marco found out that I
really wasn't into him
1132
00:54:57,037 --> 00:54:59,972
and that I ultimately
was protecting you.
1133
00:55:00,807 --> 00:55:02,474
And he did this to you?
1134
00:55:02,476 --> 00:55:03,476
No.
1135
00:55:07,547 --> 00:55:10,682
I just got my back waxed.
1136
00:55:10,684 --> 00:55:12,084
[FLESH TEARS] Aah!
1137
00:55:12,086 --> 00:55:13,719
Oh, that... That looks bad.
1138
00:55:13,721 --> 00:55:14,820
I mean, it's...
1139
00:55:14,822 --> 00:55:15,954
Oh. Aah!
1140
00:55:15,956 --> 00:55:18,023
Oh, it's really
oozy. Ow. Okay.
1141
00:55:18,025 --> 00:55:19,291
Well, stop poking it!
1142
00:55:19,293 --> 00:55:20,359
[SNIFFS]
1143
00:55:20,361 --> 00:55:21,393
[WINCES]
1144
00:55:21,395 --> 00:55:23,061
Okay, well, we should
take care of you
1145
00:55:23,063 --> 00:55:25,731
before the infection
starts to take over.
1146
00:55:25,733 --> 00:55:27,232
Come on.
1147
00:55:27,234 --> 00:55:28,934
Ooh.
1148
00:55:28,936 --> 00:55:29,935
[SLAPS] Aah!
1149
00:55:29,937 --> 00:55:30,936
Sorry.
1150
00:55:30,938 --> 00:55:33,505
Stop poking it, please.
1151
00:55:33,507 --> 00:55:35,407
Okay.
1152
00:55:38,044 --> 00:55:40,112
Ah, they're cute together
1153
00:55:40,114 --> 00:55:41,947
Yeah, well, I still
want them to die.
1154
00:55:41,949 --> 00:55:44,116
Yeah. Duh!
1155
00:55:52,425 --> 00:55:53,458
Okay.
1156
00:55:53,460 --> 00:55:55,861
Marco won't find us
in here. Come on.
1157
00:55:55,863 --> 00:55:57,996
GIRL: I hope they get naked.
1158
00:55:57,998 --> 00:55:59,031
[LAUGHTER]
1159
00:55:59,033 --> 00:56:00,298
Come on!
1160
00:56:00,300 --> 00:56:01,500
Oh.
1161
00:56:05,071 --> 00:56:07,439
Night's falling. It's
gonna get freezing.
1162
00:56:12,111 --> 00:56:13,612
You've got a fever.
1163
00:56:13,614 --> 00:56:14,913
Here. I'll check my bag
1164
00:56:14,915 --> 00:56:15,947
for something for warmth.
1165
00:56:15,949 --> 00:56:19,117
Thanks, Kantmiss.
1166
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:22,421
A Snuggie!
1167
00:56:33,299 --> 00:56:35,600
[ELECTRICITY BUZZING]
1168
00:56:36,636 --> 00:56:38,637
Ah. Mmm.
1169
00:56:38,639 --> 00:56:41,139
So warm and comfy.
1170
00:56:42,008 --> 00:56:43,909
What? Huh?
1171
00:56:43,911 --> 00:56:45,110
[WHIMPERS]
1172
00:56:59,058 --> 00:57:01,393
You know...
1173
00:57:01,395 --> 00:57:03,862
I've had a crush on you
for the longest time.
1174
00:57:03,864 --> 00:57:05,664
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
1175
00:57:05,666 --> 00:57:09,167
I used to follow you home
from school every day.
1176
00:57:11,003 --> 00:57:12,337
Every day.
1177
00:57:13,172 --> 00:57:14,539
And I remember when you got
1178
00:57:14,541 --> 00:57:17,609
your first dress-up dolly
on your eighth birthday.
1179
00:57:17,611 --> 00:57:18,844
[LAUGHS]
1180
00:57:18,846 --> 00:57:19,845
[LAUGHS]
1181
00:57:19,847 --> 00:57:21,813
And when you turned 12
1182
00:57:21,815 --> 00:57:23,548
and got your first period.
1183
00:57:23,550 --> 00:57:25,817
[LAUGHS]
1184
00:57:25,819 --> 00:57:28,653
I watched you
shower every night,
1185
00:57:28,655 --> 00:57:30,489
and after you got out,
1186
00:57:30,491 --> 00:57:32,858
I would pick through the
drain and collect your hair.
1187
00:57:33,860 --> 00:57:34,860
What?
1188
00:57:39,065 --> 00:57:41,199
You made a hair doll of me?
1189
00:57:41,201 --> 00:57:42,868
Not just one.
1190
00:57:44,370 --> 00:57:45,170
Ohh.
1191
00:57:45,172 --> 00:57:49,007
That's you and me,
1192
00:57:49,009 --> 00:57:51,710
and those are our six kids.
1193
00:57:51,712 --> 00:57:53,211
And who's that?
1194
00:57:53,213 --> 00:57:55,680
That's our puppy, Alphie.
1195
00:57:55,682 --> 00:57:58,216
Woof woof!
1196
00:57:58,218 --> 00:57:59,751
Woof! Eww.
1197
00:57:59,753 --> 00:58:00,819
[LAUGHS]
1198
00:58:00,821 --> 00:58:02,988
She's the runt of the litter,
1199
00:58:02,990 --> 00:58:05,457
but we love her all the same.
1200
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:09,161
Ohh.
1201
00:58:09,163 --> 00:58:10,929
Ah, you got a hairy chick, dude.
1202
00:58:10,931 --> 00:58:12,664
[GROANS]
1203
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,901
I'm so hungry.
1204
00:58:18,838 --> 00:58:19,838
Poor baby.
1205
00:58:29,148 --> 00:58:30,348
[SIGHS]
1206
00:58:42,595 --> 00:58:44,329
Soup! What?
1207
00:58:44,331 --> 00:58:45,931
That'll definitely
make you feel better.
1208
00:58:47,667 --> 00:58:48,867
Hmm?
1209
00:58:52,905 --> 00:58:54,806
[SLURPING] What?
1210
00:59:01,280 --> 00:59:04,616
I... I think that they want
us to be more romantic,
1211
00:59:04,618 --> 00:59:08,119
and, in return, they'll send
us stuff to make you better.
1212
00:59:08,121 --> 00:59:09,354
Sounds good to me.
1213
00:59:15,294 --> 00:59:16,494
[FOOTSTEP CRUNCHES]
1214
00:59:25,705 --> 00:59:26,972
[SIGHS]
1215
00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:35,747
Sorry, Dale.
1216
00:59:37,884 --> 00:59:39,584
[CROWD GROANS] What?!
1217
00:59:39,586 --> 00:59:40,719
Really?
1218
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,755
CROWD: Ooh. Oh, come on.
1219
00:59:43,757 --> 00:59:45,357
Hey, who thinks
they're gonna do it?
1220
00:59:45,359 --> 00:59:46,358
We do! We do!
1221
00:59:46,360 --> 00:59:48,627
Screw you all!
1222
00:59:49,729 --> 00:59:50,729
[FOOTSTEP CRUNCHES]
1223
01:00:04,677 --> 01:00:05,677
What is it now?
1224
01:00:07,079 --> 01:00:09,114
All right!
1225
01:00:09,116 --> 01:00:11,249
Peter, I don't know
if I can do this.
1226
01:00:11,251 --> 01:00:14,753
Oh, my back.
1227
01:00:14,755 --> 01:00:16,288
[WINCES]
1228
01:00:17,690 --> 01:00:18,690
I'm dying.
1229
01:00:19,825 --> 01:00:21,826
I don't know how much
longer I can hang on.
1230
01:00:21,828 --> 01:00:23,495
All right. Let's...
1231
01:00:23,497 --> 01:00:24,763
give them what they want.
1232
01:00:28,100 --> 01:00:29,734
[SWALLOWS]
1233
01:00:40,112 --> 01:00:41,947
Fantastic.
1234
01:00:41,949 --> 01:00:42,981
True dat.
1235
01:00:49,989 --> 01:00:51,289
Ow. Ow!
1236
01:00:51,291 --> 01:00:53,491
Can you not grab
my butt so hard?
1237
01:00:54,560 --> 01:00:57,629
I'm not touching
your butt at all.
1238
01:00:57,631 --> 01:00:58,463
Ohh!
1239
01:00:58,465 --> 01:00:59,564
Do not be afraid.
1240
01:00:59,566 --> 01:01:02,267
I am but a kindly old wizard.
1241
01:01:02,269 --> 01:01:03,768
Get your hand off my ass!
1242
01:01:03,770 --> 01:01:04,836
Right. Well...
1243
01:01:04,838 --> 01:01:05,637
let me explain.
1244
01:01:05,639 --> 01:01:07,939
You see, we were travelling.
1245
01:01:07,941 --> 01:01:09,007
We were on... [GASPS]
1246
01:01:09,009 --> 01:01:10,175
We were on our way
1247
01:01:10,177 --> 01:01:12,711
[SQUIRTING] to the Misty...
1248
01:01:12,713 --> 01:01:14,179
The Misty Mountains, yes.
1249
01:01:14,181 --> 01:01:16,514
And then we heard a moan
1250
01:01:16,516 --> 01:01:18,283
coming from inside this cave,
1251
01:01:18,285 --> 01:01:20,418
and fearing it to be
a moan of distress
1252
01:01:20,420 --> 01:01:23,088
and being the good
Samaritans that we are,
1253
01:01:23,090 --> 01:01:25,223
we came in here to help you.
1254
01:01:25,225 --> 01:01:26,358
Get out!
1255
01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:28,426
Yes. Well. Okay.
1256
01:01:32,264 --> 01:01:35,567
I bid you adieu.
1257
01:01:37,837 --> 01:01:40,672
[SOUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1258
01:01:42,208 --> 01:01:43,208
Ooh. Ooh.
1259
01:01:43,210 --> 01:01:45,610
♪ Ooh, baby ♪
1260
01:01:45,612 --> 01:01:49,047
♪ You know what ♪
♪ we're gonna do ♪
1261
01:01:49,049 --> 01:01:51,282
♪ It's time ♪
♪ for making love ♪
1262
01:01:51,284 --> 01:01:52,484
Whoa!
1263
01:01:52,486 --> 01:01:53,651
♪ Just me and you ♪
1264
01:01:53,653 --> 01:01:54,853
♪ Just me and you ♪
1265
01:01:54,855 --> 01:01:57,155
♪ Oh, baby ♪
1266
01:01:57,157 --> 01:01:58,523
♪ You know what ♪
♪ we came to do ♪
1267
01:01:58,525 --> 01:02:00,025
[BLOWS] [LAUGHS]
1268
01:02:00,027 --> 01:02:03,561
♪ Aww. Kantmiss. It's ♪
♪ time for making love ♪
1269
01:02:03,563 --> 01:02:04,529
♪ Just me and you ♪
♪ Like that? ♪
1270
01:02:04,531 --> 01:02:07,265
Yeah, love it! I
love it! Yeah!
1271
01:02:07,267 --> 01:02:10,735
Not her first trip
to the rodeo, eh?
1272
01:02:11,904 --> 01:02:14,272
Oh, yeah! Oh, Kantmiss!
1273
01:02:14,274 --> 01:02:15,907
Yeah! Oh!
1274
01:02:15,909 --> 01:02:17,976
Wow! Whoa.
1275
01:02:17,978 --> 01:02:19,544
Ohh! Ohh!
1276
01:02:19,546 --> 01:02:21,146
Oh, Peter, yes!
1277
01:02:21,148 --> 01:02:22,147
[SQUEAKING]
1278
01:02:22,149 --> 01:02:23,782
Score! [SQUEAKING]
1279
01:02:24,817 --> 01:02:26,584
Even I don't get to do that!
1280
01:02:26,586 --> 01:02:28,353
Oh, give me your
hand. Oh, God.
1281
01:02:28,355 --> 01:02:29,354
Yes!
1282
01:02:29,356 --> 01:02:31,122
Ride the donkey. Yes!
1283
01:02:31,124 --> 01:02:32,524
Ohh! Ohh!
1284
01:02:32,526 --> 01:02:35,727
And it's even better in 3-D.
1285
01:02:35,729 --> 01:02:38,296
♪ 'Cause now ♪
♪ that you're here ♪
1286
01:02:38,298 --> 01:02:39,431
♪ I'm gonna... ♪
1287
01:02:39,433 --> 01:02:41,232
Ooh. Ooh.
1288
01:02:41,234 --> 01:02:43,501
♪ Oh, baby Yeah ♪
1289
01:02:43,503 --> 01:02:45,870
♪ PETER: District 12! You ♪
♪ know what we're gonna do ♪
1290
01:02:45,872 --> 01:02:49,741
♪ That's it! It's ♪
♪ time for making love ♪
1291
01:02:49,743 --> 01:02:50,775
Ooh. Ooh.
1292
01:02:50,777 --> 01:02:52,410
♪ Just me and you Ahh. ♪
1293
01:02:52,412 --> 01:02:54,145
♪ Whoa, oh, whoa ♪
1294
01:02:54,147 --> 01:02:55,847
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
1295
01:03:12,665 --> 01:03:14,265
Thanks again for last night.
1296
01:03:14,267 --> 01:03:15,533
Now that you're better,
1297
01:03:15,535 --> 01:03:16,901
we have to go out there.
1298
01:03:18,971 --> 01:03:22,474
We have to kill Marco so we can
both win the game and go home.
1299
01:03:23,909 --> 01:03:25,810
I... I would, but...
1300
01:03:25,812 --> 01:03:28,213
I think the infection's
starting to come back.
1301
01:03:28,215 --> 01:03:30,048
Don't push it! [SQUEALS]
1302
01:03:35,488 --> 01:03:36,688
Where do you think you're going?
1303
01:03:36,690 --> 01:03:38,790
You can't go in there!
1304
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:10,388
Whoa! Did you... Ha!
1305
01:04:10,390 --> 01:04:11,456
[CROWD MURMURING]
1306
01:04:11,458 --> 01:04:12,891
He's right there.
1307
01:04:12,893 --> 01:04:14,592
When are they gonna kill
each other already?
1308
01:04:14,594 --> 01:04:16,661
I'm getting bored. Me, too.
1309
01:04:24,370 --> 01:04:25,570
Aah!
1310
01:04:30,776 --> 01:04:32,577
It's time to end this
once and for all.
1311
01:04:32,579 --> 01:04:34,112
Siri. [BEEP]
1312
01:04:34,114 --> 01:04:35,713
Dang! What you need now?
1313
01:04:35,715 --> 01:04:37,582
Let's have a grand finale.
1314
01:04:37,584 --> 01:04:39,184
Send in the big guns.
1315
01:04:58,270 --> 01:05:00,004
Oh, shit.
1316
01:05:04,543 --> 01:05:07,145
I'll give you a war
you wouldn't believe.
1317
01:05:08,214 --> 01:05:10,181
Hasta la vista, baby.
1318
01:05:11,317 --> 01:05:12,584
Yippie-ki-yay...
1319
01:05:12,586 --> 01:05:14,786
[GASPS] Oh.
1320
01:05:14,788 --> 01:05:17,455
Damn it. I don't
have a catchphrase.
1321
01:05:17,457 --> 01:05:21,192
Ha ha ha! I have
so many of them.
1322
01:05:21,194 --> 01:05:22,327
I'll be back.
1323
01:05:22,329 --> 01:05:24,195
You know what I mean, Chuck?
1324
01:05:24,197 --> 01:05:25,496
No.
1325
01:05:25,498 --> 01:05:27,198
Because I'm Chuck Norris,
1326
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,767
and catchphrases need me!
1327
01:05:29,769 --> 01:05:31,302
Enh.
1328
01:05:31,304 --> 01:05:32,637
Why don't you shut up,
1329
01:05:32,639 --> 01:05:35,073
you smarty-pants wisenheimer
piece of shit?!
1330
01:05:35,075 --> 01:05:36,074
Let's just kill 'em.
1331
01:05:36,076 --> 01:05:37,242
[GASPS] Oh.
1332
01:05:37,244 --> 01:05:38,876
[CROWD GASPS]
1333
01:05:38,878 --> 01:05:40,478
Ready!
1334
01:05:40,480 --> 01:05:42,046
[GASPING]
1335
01:05:43,549 --> 01:05:45,016
Aim.
1336
01:05:45,018 --> 01:05:46,251
Yes!
1337
01:05:46,253 --> 01:05:48,486
Yo, Adrian!
1338
01:05:48,488 --> 01:05:50,622
Fire! [SCREAMS]
1339
01:05:50,624 --> 01:05:52,557
[GUNFIRE]
1340
01:05:52,559 --> 01:05:54,058
[GROANING]
1341
01:06:03,035 --> 01:06:04,869
[ALL SIGH]
1342
01:06:04,871 --> 01:06:05,670
Gah!
1343
01:06:05,672 --> 01:06:07,672
[SIGHS]
1344
01:06:08,974 --> 01:06:09,974
Dale?
1345
01:06:10,976 --> 01:06:12,076
Dale?
1346
01:06:12,078 --> 01:06:13,878
What's going on with
you and this guy?
1347
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:16,681
I'll talk to you about it later.
1348
01:06:16,683 --> 01:06:18,049
I saw you kiss him.
1349
01:06:18,051 --> 01:06:19,017
[CHUCKLES]
1350
01:06:19,019 --> 01:06:21,419
I am in the middle
of a death match.
1351
01:06:21,421 --> 01:06:22,620
Do you like him?
1352
01:06:22,622 --> 01:06:24,622
Dale, you are embarrassing me.
1353
01:06:24,624 --> 01:06:26,457
Go home. Nyah.
1354
01:06:26,459 --> 01:06:28,559
No! If anyone should leave...
1355
01:06:28,561 --> 01:06:29,794
he should.
1356
01:06:29,796 --> 01:06:33,364
Okay. Yeah. I-I'll leave.
1357
01:06:33,366 --> 01:06:35,266
Now, Dale! Fine.
1358
01:06:35,268 --> 01:06:36,668
Fine!
1359
01:06:36,670 --> 01:06:40,204
But I'm changing my
Facebook status to single.
1360
01:06:45,711 --> 01:06:47,412
Sorry about that.
1361
01:06:47,414 --> 01:06:49,247
He's always been really clingy.
1362
01:06:49,249 --> 01:06:51,282
That's cool.
1363
01:06:51,284 --> 01:06:53,418
[SCREAMS] [GASPS]
1364
01:06:54,586 --> 01:06:55,820
Unbelievable.
1365
01:06:55,822 --> 01:06:58,089
What are you gonna do, Kantmiss?
1366
01:06:58,091 --> 01:07:00,558
You shoot and miss,
lover boy here is dead.
1367
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:01,559
[WHIMPERS]
1368
01:07:01,561 --> 01:07:02,660
Yes!
1369
01:07:02,662 --> 01:07:03,728
[LAUGHS]
1370
01:07:03,730 --> 01:07:04,929
[SIGHS]
1371
01:07:07,399 --> 01:07:09,133
[MURMURING]
1372
01:07:09,135 --> 01:07:10,168
No, no, no, no!
1373
01:07:10,170 --> 01:07:11,669
[MURMURING]
1374
01:07:18,377 --> 01:07:19,444
Huh? Huh?
1375
01:07:25,284 --> 01:07:26,451
Yeah.
1376
01:07:27,653 --> 01:07:29,120
Yeah.
1377
01:07:32,758 --> 01:07:34,325
Oh! Oh!
1378
01:07:36,495 --> 01:07:38,329
That'll work.
1379
01:07:38,331 --> 01:07:42,300
[CHEERING]
1380
01:07:42,302 --> 01:07:44,102
How about that, Cleaver?
1381
01:07:44,104 --> 01:07:48,272
Against all odds, they've
done it. They've won.
1382
01:07:48,274 --> 01:07:49,574
Yay.
1383
01:07:49,576 --> 01:07:51,743
[CHEERING CONTINUES] Whew!
1384
01:07:52,644 --> 01:07:54,078
Peter, we won.
1385
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:56,280
We survived!
1386
01:08:00,586 --> 01:08:01,753
We're both going home.
1387
01:08:01,755 --> 01:08:03,955
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
1388
01:08:07,760 --> 01:08:09,527
[MICROPHONE FEEDBACK]
1389
01:08:09,529 --> 01:08:10,995
SELECA: Attention,
contestants.
1390
01:08:10,997 --> 01:08:14,499
There has been yet
another rule change.
1391
01:08:14,501 --> 01:08:16,334
[CHEERING QUIETS]
1392
01:08:18,470 --> 01:08:20,738
[MURMURING]
1393
01:08:20,740 --> 01:08:22,573
And if you're thinking
what I'm thinking,
1394
01:08:22,575 --> 01:08:23,841
you're right.
1395
01:08:23,843 --> 01:08:27,145
There again can be
only one winner.
1396
01:08:27,147 --> 01:08:29,547
[LAUGHS]
1397
01:08:29,549 --> 01:08:30,782
Good luck.
1398
01:08:35,421 --> 01:08:37,455
What if we don't give
'em the satisfaction?
1399
01:08:42,561 --> 01:08:44,128
What if we both kill ourselves
1400
01:08:44,130 --> 01:08:46,164
and there are no victors?
1401
01:08:46,166 --> 01:08:48,099
[SIGHS]
1402
01:08:49,001 --> 01:08:50,835
We'll ruin the Games,
1403
01:08:50,837 --> 01:08:53,571
and we'll show
th-that the Capital,
1404
01:08:53,573 --> 01:08:55,106
they can't control us!
1405
01:08:57,443 --> 01:09:00,111
I found these poisonous
berries in the woods.
1406
01:09:00,946 --> 01:09:03,981
W-We can eat them a-and die.
1407
01:09:07,386 --> 01:09:08,920
[ALL GASP]
1408
01:09:09,755 --> 01:09:11,456
Shit ain't personal,
1409
01:09:11,458 --> 01:09:14,258
strictly business, ya dig?
1410
01:09:14,260 --> 01:09:18,896
[CHEERING]
1411
01:09:20,098 --> 01:09:21,699
[LAUGHS]
1412
01:09:21,701 --> 01:09:23,968
Whaah! Whoa! [BOWL SHATTERS]
1413
01:09:28,774 --> 01:09:30,508
SIRI: Fuck me!
1414
01:09:38,016 --> 01:09:40,151
Best Starving Games ever!
1415
01:09:46,058 --> 01:09:47,959
It's a nice shot, Kantmiss.
1416
01:09:48,994 --> 01:09:50,328
What're you doing here?
1417
01:09:50,330 --> 01:09:51,562
I practically show up
1418
01:09:51,564 --> 01:09:52,697
at the end of every movie.
1419
01:09:52,699 --> 01:09:55,032
Superhero movies, yeah, but...
1420
01:09:55,034 --> 01:09:57,368
Well, that's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
1421
01:09:57,370 --> 01:09:59,770
We could use some
fresh, young blood.
1422
01:09:59,772 --> 01:10:01,706
I mean, shit!
1423
01:10:01,708 --> 01:10:04,275
Just how many sequels
to "Iron Man,"
1424
01:10:04,277 --> 01:10:07,478
"Thor" and "Captain America"
can we make, right?
1425
01:10:07,480 --> 01:10:09,614
And you're pretty handy
with that bow and arrow.
1426
01:10:09,616 --> 01:10:11,582
HAWKEYE: Ahem!
1427
01:10:11,584 --> 01:10:13,217
Uh, Nick, the, uh,
1428
01:10:13,219 --> 01:10:14,886
bow and arrow is
sort of my thing.
1429
01:10:14,888 --> 01:10:16,921
Shut your ass, Hawkeye!
1430
01:10:16,923 --> 01:10:19,156
You're lucky you even
in the Avengers!
1431
01:10:19,158 --> 01:10:20,858
Yeah, but... And
don't you think
1432
01:10:20,860 --> 01:10:22,393
for one god-damn minute
1433
01:10:22,395 --> 01:10:24,862
that Marvel is gonna
spin off your character!
1434
01:10:24,864 --> 01:10:27,365
"Hawkeye, colon,
1435
01:10:27,367 --> 01:10:30,167
The Avenger Nobody
Gives a Shit About,"
1436
01:10:30,169 --> 01:10:34,539
will definitely not be coming
soon to a theatre near you!
1437
01:10:34,541 --> 01:10:37,174
[SOBS] [LAUGHS]
1438
01:10:37,176 --> 01:10:39,844
Burn!
1439
01:10:39,846 --> 01:10:40,845
Burn. [SIZZLES]
1440
01:10:40,847 --> 01:10:41,846
Ow.
1441
01:10:41,848 --> 01:10:43,748
Oh, stop being such a cherry!
1442
01:10:43,750 --> 01:10:45,349
So what do you say, Kantmiss?
1443
01:10:45,351 --> 01:10:46,951
I'm in.
1444
01:10:48,086 --> 01:10:50,454
But, um, I'm kind of hungry.
1445
01:10:50,456 --> 01:10:52,590
Do you mind if we get
something to eat first?
1446
01:10:52,592 --> 01:10:54,525
Let's go get some shawarma.
1447
01:10:54,527 --> 01:10:57,528
[LAUGHS]
1448
01:10:57,530 --> 01:10:59,230
Avengers assemble!
1449
01:11:00,165 --> 01:11:01,499
Wait, don't step off those...
1450
01:11:07,172 --> 01:11:08,506
Oops.
1451
01:11:11,910 --> 01:11:13,044
[AIR HORN SOUNDS]
1452
01:11:13,046 --> 01:11:15,780
Oh! You know what
that sound means?
1453
01:11:15,782 --> 01:11:20,384
Bob's Post-Game Bloopers.
1454
01:11:20,386 --> 01:11:22,353
♪ Move ♪
1455
01:11:22,355 --> 01:11:23,220
♪ Move ♪
1456
01:11:23,222 --> 01:11:24,589
Aah! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1457
01:11:24,591 --> 01:11:25,890
♪ Move... ♪
1458
01:11:25,892 --> 01:11:26,891
[LAUGHTER]
1459
01:11:26,893 --> 01:11:27,892
Good.
1460
01:11:27,894 --> 01:11:29,393
Blooper reel.
1461
01:11:29,395 --> 01:11:31,996
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
1462
01:11:31,998 --> 01:11:33,230
♪ It's time to ♪
♪ rock the house... ♪
1463
01:11:33,232 --> 01:11:34,031
Ohh.
1464
01:11:34,033 --> 01:11:36,434
[SNORTS] Sorry.
1465
01:11:36,436 --> 01:11:38,536
♪ It's time to rock the ♪
♪ house Move... ♪
1466
01:11:38,538 --> 01:11:39,704
[LAUGHS]
1467
01:11:39,706 --> 01:11:41,706
[LAUGHTER]
1468
01:11:41,708 --> 01:11:43,741
Blooper reel!
1469
01:11:43,743 --> 01:11:45,309
Cutting! Yeah!
1470
01:11:45,311 --> 01:11:46,611
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house... ♪
1471
01:11:46,613 --> 01:11:47,612
Oh.
1472
01:11:47,614 --> 01:11:49,480
And the wig is down.
1473
01:11:49,482 --> 01:11:51,082
Okay. I'm sorry.
1474
01:11:51,084 --> 01:11:53,050
I gotta get more
excited about you.
1475
01:11:53,052 --> 01:11:54,885
[CHUCKLES] Let's do it.
1476
01:11:54,887 --> 01:11:56,320
Touch my leg.
1477
01:11:56,322 --> 01:11:57,321
Here we go.
1478
01:11:57,323 --> 01:11:58,322
Dude, stop.
1479
01:11:58,324 --> 01:11:59,523
[LAUGHS]
1480
01:11:59,525 --> 01:12:01,325
Prank, take one.
1481
01:12:01,327 --> 01:12:02,293
Ohh!
1482
01:12:02,295 --> 01:12:05,029
[DALE LAUGHS] Look at you!
1483
01:12:05,964 --> 01:12:09,033
Dale, that's romantic and all.
1484
01:12:09,035 --> 01:12:10,301
[LAUGHS]
1485
01:12:10,303 --> 01:12:13,571
[LAUGHTER]
1486
01:12:13,573 --> 01:12:15,906
Yes, why don't you give
me a little dance?
1487
01:12:15,908 --> 01:12:17,008
♪ Boom, chika, ♪
♪ boom, chika ♪
1488
01:12:17,010 --> 01:12:18,275
♪ Boom, chika, ♪
♪ boom, chika ♪
1489
01:12:18,277 --> 01:12:19,644
♪ Boom, chika, boom, ♪
♪ boom, chika be ♪
1490
01:12:19,646 --> 01:12:21,879
On the down, not the up.
1491
01:12:21,881 --> 01:12:23,047
♪ Be, chika, boom chik ♪
1492
01:12:23,049 --> 01:12:24,382
That's good. Now
like a penguin.
1493
01:12:24,384 --> 01:12:25,583
♪ Boom, chika, ♪
♪ boom, chika ♪
1494
01:12:25,585 --> 01:12:27,218
♪ Boom, chika, boo... ♪
1495
01:12:27,220 --> 01:12:29,687
That's the worst penguin
I've ever seen. Do it again.
1496
01:12:29,689 --> 01:12:31,088
♪ Boom, chika, ♪
♪ boom, chika ♪
1497
01:12:31,090 --> 01:12:34,158
Do you like watching Pygmies?
1498
01:12:34,160 --> 01:12:36,861
Oh, yeah. Oh. That looks good.
1499
01:12:36,863 --> 01:12:38,496
Look at that dripping.
1500
01:12:39,331 --> 01:12:40,831
I just got my back waxed.
1501
01:12:40,833 --> 01:12:42,700
[LAUGHS] I'm sorry.
1502
01:12:42,702 --> 01:12:44,135
Kick. Hah!
1503
01:12:45,570 --> 01:12:46,837
Sorry.
1504
01:12:46,839 --> 01:12:47,938
I kicked your ass.
1505
01:12:47,940 --> 01:12:49,206
No, that's fine. Don't...
1506
01:12:49,208 --> 01:12:51,475
♪ It's time to ♪
♪ rock the house... ♪
1507
01:12:51,477 --> 01:12:55,246
[LAUGHTER]
1508
01:12:55,248 --> 01:12:57,882
WOMAN: And this
is my sidekick.
1509
01:12:57,884 --> 01:12:59,650
Mother pus. What'd I say?
1510
01:12:59,652 --> 01:13:00,718
With me.
1511
01:13:00,720 --> 01:13:02,053
And this is... [LAUGHS]
1512
01:13:02,055 --> 01:13:03,554
Shh. My sidekick.
1513
01:13:03,556 --> 01:13:04,522
And this is my sidekick.
1514
01:13:04,524 --> 01:13:06,190
Yeah. That's funny.
You got one line.
1515
01:13:06,192 --> 01:13:09,226
[LAUGHS] [LAUGHTER]
1516
01:13:12,297 --> 01:13:14,265
You do.
1517
01:13:15,267 --> 01:13:17,001
Ready?
1518
01:13:17,003 --> 01:13:20,671
And I have another Tess Tickles.
1519
01:13:20,673 --> 01:13:22,106
I need to see a bi...
1520
01:13:22,108 --> 01:13:24,108
No, it's not, "I need to see."
1521
01:13:24,110 --> 01:13:26,911
Stop hiding, and show me...
1522
01:13:26,913 --> 01:13:28,879
God damn it.
1523
01:13:28,881 --> 01:13:32,116
I need a pair of Tess Tickles!
1524
01:13:33,285 --> 01:13:34,285
Shit.
1525
01:13:35,087 --> 01:13:36,520
For bug zapper.
1526
01:13:36,522 --> 01:13:38,055
Contact.
1527
01:13:38,057 --> 01:13:39,056
Contact. Contact. Contact.
1528
01:13:39,058 --> 01:13:40,391
Uh-oh.
1529
01:13:41,426 --> 01:13:43,160
Hold on.
1530
01:13:43,162 --> 01:13:44,695
♪ It's time to rock ♪
♪ the house ♪
1531
01:13:44,697 --> 01:13:46,597
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock, rock, rock ♪
1532
01:13:46,599 --> 01:13:48,432
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
1533
01:13:48,434 --> 01:13:50,601
♪ Move It's time ♪
♪ to rock the house ♪
1534
01:13:50,603 --> 01:13:52,369
[LAUGHS] I'm sorry.
1535
01:13:52,371 --> 01:13:54,739
♪ Move It's time to ♪
♪ rock, rock, rock... ♪
1536
01:13:55,741 --> 01:13:57,675
A partially eaten pickle.
1537
01:14:00,846 --> 01:14:02,246
So happy Starving Games,
1538
01:14:02,248 --> 01:14:05,449
and may the odds be
never in your favour.
1539
01:14:06,518 --> 01:14:08,853
That is the worst
pickle I've ever had.
1540
01:14:08,855 --> 01:14:10,588
[LAUGHTER]
1541
01:14:10,590 --> 01:14:13,557
We have to kill Marco
and win the games.
1542
01:14:13,559 --> 01:14:14,725
Sorry. Ahh. Sorry.
1543
01:14:14,727 --> 01:14:17,061
We have to kill Marco
so we can both go home
1544
01:14:17,063 --> 01:14:19,096
and win the ga...
God damn it. Sorry.
1545
01:14:19,098 --> 01:14:20,931
♪ Move [LAUGHING] ♪
1546
01:14:20,933 --> 01:14:22,700
♪ Move ♪
1547
01:14:22,702 --> 01:14:25,002
♪ Move It's time to ♪
♪ rock, rock, rock... ♪
1548
01:14:25,004 --> 01:14:26,904
♪ Move [SPUTTERS] ♪
1549
01:14:26,906 --> 01:14:28,139
[LAUGHTER]
1550
01:14:28,141 --> 01:14:30,674
♪ Move ♪
1551
01:14:30,676 --> 01:14:32,476
♪ Move ♪
1552
01:14:32,478 --> 01:14:34,245
[LAUGHTER]
1553
01:14:35,347 --> 01:14:36,814
Wow, that's amazing.
1554
01:14:38,216 --> 01:14:39,917
That is good. What is that?
1555
01:14:39,919 --> 01:14:41,452
It's a divine mixture
1556
01:14:41,454 --> 01:14:44,755
of fox blood and bear [BLEEP].
1557
01:14:44,757 --> 01:14:48,459
Delicious. Right?
1558
01:14:48,461 --> 01:14:50,094
Hey!
1559
01:14:50,096 --> 01:14:51,662
[LAUGHS]
1560
01:14:51,664 --> 01:14:54,698
[LAUGHTER]
1561
01:14:56,468 --> 01:14:57,601
Hey, Phil, stay down there
1562
01:14:57,603 --> 01:15:00,704
and put your finger
in his mouth.
1563
01:15:00,706 --> 01:15:03,240
Okay. We're done.
1564
01:15:03,242 --> 01:15:05,075
We're done with this.
1565
01:15:05,077 --> 01:15:07,278
[LAUGHTER]
1566
01:15:07,280 --> 01:15:08,512
Blooper reel.
1567
01:15:08,514 --> 01:15:09,847
Blooper reel.
1568
01:15:09,849 --> 01:15:10,849
Cutting!
1569
01:15:11,983 --> 01:15:12,983
♪ Move ♪
1570
01:15:12,985 --> 01:15:14,151
♪ Move, move, move ♪
1571
01:15:14,153 --> 01:15:15,519
♪ Move ♪
1572
01:15:17,956 --> 01:15:20,157
[INSTRUMENTAL PLAYING]
98776
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