All language subtitles for Suburban.Gothic.2014.720p.BluRay.x264.YIFY

♪ Fixed & Synced by
bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick ♪

-Yeah!

-Um, can I call you Ticona?

Is it all right if I call
you by your first name?

-no.

-Okay.

I came here because
I need a job.

So if you could Just type
my info into your computer,

help a brother
out, find me a job.

Something in upper
management would be great.

I'll take anything.

I am literally on the verge

of having to move back
in with my parents,

and I don't want to do that.

-Raymond, I got nothing for you.

Moving back in with
your parents right now

doesn't sound like
such a bad idea.

- It does. It really does
sound like a bad idea to me.

-I don't know how to say this

without sounding terrible,

but you're the worst
guidance counselor ever.

I-I got to go. I got to go.

Thank you for everything.

-Lose the scarf.

Freak.

-Yoo-hoo!

I made you a little something to
keep your strength up, Hector.

- Oh, my goodness.
- Alberto? Cookies?

- Uh, are those gluten-free?
- Uh, no.

-All right, now here's the rule.

I Just reseeded the lawn. -Hi.

-I planted some new flowers.

You stay away, you understand?

- I won't even look at Them, dad.
How does that sound?

- All right.
- Does that work?

- Look, and I'm sorry for
being so hard on you

on the phone the other day.

Hey, you have a thing
for black women...

-she was latino.

- You have a thing for latina
black women, I'm okay with that.

-Great.

- Your mother and I
are very open-minded.

-I've noticed.

-Good, huh?

- Evey, Raymond's home!
- Oh! oh!

I think he's here! He's here!

Oh, he's here!

Thanks for taking
care of my boy.

- I don't know him.
- He's here!

-Mom!

My beautiful son.
- My beautiful mom.

-oh, honey.

Turn around, let me look at you.

Oh, wait.

-Mom, are you serious?

- Stop.
- All right.

- Oh, so handsome.
- So beautiful.

- There is a way you can
help your mother and me

while you're here. -How?

- All those years of
education I paid for,

did you ever learn how
to speak any Mexican?

- You know, sadly, dad, I don't
know how to speak Mexican,

because nobody in the
world speaks Mexican.

Mexican people speak Spanish.

-Mexicans speak Mexican.

People from Spain speak Spanish.

- Come on in, Raymond.
- What are you doing

with that flag around your neck?
- Uh, celebrating my freedom.

Good to see you.

-oh, you too. I'm so happy.

- Well, you don't wear the
American flag on your neck.

Okay?

- Holy shit!
- Fuck!

- You scared the fucking
shit out of me.

- You scared the fucking
shit out of me.

What are you doing
in my bathroom, man?

- oh, sorry. I Just,
uh... noth... I Just...

I was Just checking
out your picture, man.

-Yeah.

- it's a little chubby guy.
Remember him?

- Yeah, he developed
an eating disorder.

- Oh.
- Thanks for bringing it up.

- Well, you look good.
- Thank you.

- I wanted to use the
porta-potty outside...

- Mm-hmm.
- But, uh, your father

keeps forgetting the
seat covers, you know?

-He's an asshole.

- You said it. I didn't.
- I know.

- Yeah? Okay?
- All right.

Have a good one. -All right.
You too.

- So, Raymond, I'm going
into town tomorrow.

Would you like to join me?

-I'm good.

- oh, honey, of
course you're good.

You're my little angel.

But... Your father
and I were wondering

if we could buy you a couple
new outfits for your stay.

Something Just a little
less alternative.

-Yes.

We really care about you, son,

and we recognize your more
European approach to fashion...

But we Just don't think it's
appropriate here in America.

In the U.S. of a.

- Well, dad, I
appreciate your concern,

and your criticism of everything
I've ever done in my life,

but I'm Gonna have to
politely disagree with you,

based mainly on the fact

that you dress
like a drug dealer.

You hear how he talks to me?
Huh?

That's pretty funny
coming from a guy

who graduated business
school six months ago

and can't find a goddamn job.

- I'm holding out for a
position in upper management.

-oh, bullshit.

- I think we're all
Just a little tired.

It's been a very big day.

- Well, you guys take
care of the dishes.

I've got the game's Gonna
start here in a minute.

Oh, and Raymond...
Take a shower, okay?

You smell bad enough
to gag a maggot.

-How do you gag a maggot?

-I don't know.

You're looking a little
thin, though, Raymond.

There.

-Aaah!

Hector. I'm Just an uncle.

Hello?

Cousin Freddy! Hey,
what are you doing here?

- Raymond, thank god. I
thought you were your dad.

Since I came out of the closet,

he's forbidden me to
enter the property.

-Congratulations.

Maybe you never have
to see him ever again.

-Well, he's an aries, so...

They're all fucking assholes.

-Hmm. I didn't know that.

-All of Them.

- I believe it. I
Just didn't know it.

So, do you and mom get to see
much of each other anymore?

-Occasionally.

You know, whenever she's
in the mood to sneak out

for a night of musical
theater, she calls me.

- Sounds nice.

-I fucking hate musical theater.

Sorry if I frightened you.

I Just... I had to pick
up some belongings.

Ooh.

Your mom let me, um,
store my car here

while I'm going through a
transformational period.

- Hey, would it be cool
if I borrowed your car?

I was actually Just about to go
to a bar and get super drunk.

-Yeah, be my guest.

-Do you want to come with me?

-no.

My peace corps application
Just came through.

I don't want to jeopardize it.

Drinking makes me, um...

Makes me do things...

That I don't remember.

-Okay.

Cool.

-Are you okay?

'Cause you seem flustered.

-Mm... Uh, not so good.

But, um, it's nothing 15 or
20 drinks won't fix, you know?

You can't drink that much.

You'd die.

-Hey.

This ain't no public restroom.

-Duly noted.

- You are not from
around here, are you?

- Born and raised, my brother,
but I have since relocated.

- What brings you
to this shit hole?

- Well, the, uh... the
lovely clientele, primarily.

And I also read somewhere

that they serve a
scrumptious Cosmopolitan.

And I myself... -holy shit!

I fucking know you.

I used to take the bus
to school with this kid.

He used to be fatter than shit.

You used to be fatter than shit.

What happened?

-Well, as you put it,
I was fat as shit...

- fatter than shit.
Fatter than shit.

- Fatter than shit. Thank
you for correcting me.

And then the weirdest
thing happened.

It's like, I moved
away from this town

and all the people that
live within this town,

and then suddenly I had
to stop using eating

as coping mechanism
for depression.

So weird. Thinned out.
Who knew?

- Are you still into
that paranormal shit?

-Not professionally.

But I do still kind of
practice it as a hobby.

I don't believe that modern
science has all the answers.

Do you guys? Anyone?

- I always figured you
Just disappeared.

You started a cult or something.

-Huh. Thanks.

Guess I've Just never
really seen myself

as being that ambitious.

What are you up to? Drugs?

I used to love

kicking the shit out
of this faggot here.

- Yeah, that was great.

That was really fun, man.
Yeah, that was really cool.

- oh, but then you
had me expelled.

-Did I, though? I don't know.

-You know what?

In fact, I think this faggot
here deserves an ass kicking.

- no, I think you're thinking
of a different faggot.

Um, I... honestly, I think
you're thinking of...

-lay off him, pope.

If you're Gonna bother my
customers, you have to leave.

- Well, I was Just
leaving anyway, Becca.

I'll be seeing you around.

Pah-pah, pah-pah, pah.

-Pah, pah.

Parents wonder why I ever left.

- Drink your beer and
stop being a bitch.

-Okay.

-You don't remember me, do you?

-Um... no, I don't.

-Becca Thompson.

We went to school together.

- guacamole. Becca Thompson.

You... wow. You... -Say it.

- You lost a lot of weight.
You look really good.

- Thanks. Looks like we
both lost a lot of weight.

Raymond. -Hmm?

- I'm Gonna have to ask you
to stop staring at my tits.

You're the only guy to come
through town in a long time

that I'd consider sleeping
with, and you're ruining it.

- I was actually admiring
the tips of your hair,

but I will not do that anymore.

I'll look you right in the eyes.

What are you still
doing in town?

- Well, most of you
assholes left,

and I figured if all of us left,

nothing around here
would ever change.

The real question is
what are you doing here?

- Hector, my friend...
- Who's this fucking asshole?

- maybe you should
start thinking about, uh,

selling your
construction company

and getting back behind a mower.

- Yeah, you really missed
your calling, Donald,

I got to tell you.

Yeah, no, I'm trying
to distance myself

from that stereotype
at the moment.

- ¿Cómo se llama?
What's your name?

- Mi nombre es... The other
Mexican that's underpaid.

- Will you get the fuck over
there with your compadres?

- Dude, where's your
sense of humor?

- Get out of here. I want to
talk to your El bosso here.

You said you were Gonna
be finished today.

- I did. But here's...
- My wife was counting on that.

She's on my ass in there. -I get it.
Here's the thing.

I've never seen, in my 20
years of doing this, Donald,

so many equipment malfunctions.

I mean, it's really
it's fucking weird.

I got to tell you.

The guys think the
property's cursed.

I'm dealing with that.

- Well, now, that's pretty
goddamn superstitious

for a Mexican who doesn't want
to fall into a stereotype.

-Yeah. It is, isn't it?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Anyways, look, here's what
I might be able to do.

You can help me out here.

I might be able to talk Them
into working through the night.

-Yeah?

- If you can sweeten
the pot a little bit.

-oh, Christ.

-How's $2,000 sound?

-$3,000 sounds better.

-$3,000 and...
-it's a deal.

-One more thing.

- "Suck my dick."

-Terrible, right?

-Mm, it's a choice.

- These lesbian bikers talked me
into joining their metal band.

"Suck my dick" was our mantra.
- Hmm.

Cool mantra. I'd love to catch
a show while I'm in town.

Are you guys playing
any time soon?

-we're on a permanent hiatus.

- Hmm. You know, I think
I might have something

that'll make you feel
better about the tattoo.

- "Trust no one"?

I'm probably not Gonna
sleep with you anymore.

-I understand.

- You Just dug yourself
a vagina grave.

-I do that a lot.

- So, you still believe in
all that paranormal stuff?

-Believe in it?

I've experienced it firsthand.

-Frank.

Frank.

Come on.

Well, there he is.

Your grandfather.

He was one real son of a bitch.

Right, daddy?

Hmm?

Aaahh!

- No shit?
- It's weird.

I used to see ghosts regularly,

and then Just
suddenly it stopped.

I feel like, as
I've grown older,

I've unfortunately become less
sensitive to the spirit world.

- Sounds like you
have an amazing gift.

Why don't you pursue a
career in the paranormal?

- oh, my dad threatened
to disown me

unless I went to
business school.

You know, I should
actually probably stop.

Alcohol interferes with my
blood-pressure medication.

-Drink it.

To parents knowing what's best.

- All right, we're working
through the night.

- What? What do you mean we're
working through the night?

-Just keep digging like I said.

I'm trying to avoid
a lawsuit, man.

Just keep digging. Please?

- You got to be
fucking kidding me.

-Well, that's hollow.

-Watch out.

- Hold up a sec.
- Hey, hey.

-What the fuck?

-Who?

-it's like a girl or something.

Will you do me a favor?
See if it's...

- hey, man, don't touch it.
Don't touch it.

-What are you talking about?

- Hey, man, we got
to report this.

-no, I'm not reporting shit.

What, five Mexicans and
a fucking dead kid?

- What?
- Cover that shit up.

- This is not okay.
- Just cover it up.

- we can't Just leave
this body here, dude.

- Fucking cover it up.

Cover it up.

I know how that story ends.

Fuck that.

- You guys suck!

- Raymond, I'm Gonna
give you a ride home.

Give me the keys.

-What's that?

-Pain-killer.

In case we get into an accident.

- Doesn't that strike you
as counterintuitive?

Nope.

-Hello?

Go see who's out there.
- You go see who's out there.

You're bigger than me.

-Jesus Christ.

Donald, man, I know it's you.

-Who's there?

I told you guys, it's...
-holy shit!

- Aaah!
- Aaaah!

-Where you going?

-I'm Gonna run!

-Get in the truck!

- Let's go.
- Alberto.

Alberto.

-Come on, let's go.

-Alberto.

Alberto, man, where
are you going?

- You shouldn't have
opened that fucking box.

- Look, it's... it's fucking
Donald playing tricks.

I told you already.
- Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh.

Mnh-mnh. it's not Donald.

-But... it's not Donald.

- Come on, come on. I
got a job to finish.

Don't take my guys away.
- Hey, finish it yourself.

-I hate you so much.

Fucking asshole.

-Hey, Hector?

-What?

-Fuck you! I quit!

-Venga, pendejo.

Come on.

I see you back there.

Oh!

What are you pulling, man?

Huh?

-That was rough.

I think I'm developing
night blindness.

- I think it might have
been the pain-killer.

So, uh, you want to...
You want to come in?

-I'm on my period.

-no, you're not.

-You know what?

I'm not.

I Just really don't want
to have sex right now.

-Neither do I.

Bye.

- Well, you'd think with all the
maid services these people run,

they'd know how to clean
up after themselves.

- What's going on?
- What's going on?

Hector and his crew ran off
in the middle of the night

without finishing the job.
That's what's going on.

- I'm Just shocked that Hector
would do something like this.

It's not like him.
- I second that.

It's not like a Mexican to
run off without getting paid.

Hey, were they still
here when you got home?

-Honey? Are you okay?

-He's hung over.

- Raymond.

Excessively drinking with
your high blood pressure?

-Raymond, you're pathetic.

Have I ever told you that?

-Mm-hmm.

- and bless this food.

- Amen.
- Amen.

-Amen. You know, dad,

for someone who doesn't
believe in ghosts,

you really do pray a lot.

Hey, mom, can you
pass the syrup?

-oh, sure, honey.

- Yes, your mother and I sent
you off to the big city,

and you came back an alcoholic.

-I'm not an alcoholic.

- Of course, if I
dressed like you,

I might have to
have a few drinks

before I walked out
of the house, too.

- oh, good, so you understand.

- You know, if I had
the hair like you,

I'd part it on the other side.

-Boys, stop it.

So, I was thinking

that I may organize a
search party for Hector.

-Hector's not missing, evey.

He's Just a lazy
Mexican piece of shit.

- Hey, mom, can I get
a ride to my car?

I left it at the bar last night.

- oh, honey, you really shouldn't
be driving that car on the road.

The tags expired years ago.

- Yeah, not to mention
the fact that that car

belonged to your mother's
cousin Freddy, the faggot.

-don't use that word, Donald.

- I also need to refill
my prescription.

- Mm. I'll let Dr.
Carpenter know.

- Thanks.
- Hey, you're not going anywhere

till you clean up that
mess in the backyard.

-Are you serious?

-don't I look serious?

-Yeah.

- It would be a nice
thing to do, Raymond.

Your father doesn't ask much.

- it's so good to
have you home, honey.

-it's great to be home.

Cool.

I'll go clean up
the yard, I guess.

- Hey.
- Aah!

Oh. What's up? -Have
you seen Hector?

- Uh, yeah. He's inside taking a
catnap and watching cable TV.

No, I haven't seen Hector!
He fucking vanished.

That's why I'm out here
doing this work, man.

-oh. Hey, nice ascot.

-Thanks. Aah! Fuck!

- don't fucking talk to
me like that, gay man.

- Sorry, man. I Just... Ow.
- Listen, I don't work for you.

I work for Hector. -Okay, I understand.
I'm sorry.

- Good. Look, you need to
get out of this place, man.

- I-I know, I hate it here.
- No, seriously, all right?

You got to get out
of this place.

There's some crazy shit
happening here, all right?

-Like what?

- Like yesterday while
we were digging,

we found a creepy
wooden box over there.

Hector... Hector, he opened it.
It wasn't me.

-What was in the box?

- It was, like, a
creepy dead girl's,

like, carcass with a nightie.

- Are you fucking kidding me now?
- No! Look...

- you found a dead girl
buried in my dad's backyard?

- I hate to break it
to you, all right?

There is an evil spirit
lurking on your property,

and I don't want to fucking
be here when it shows up,

so I'm out, all right?
- Shit, that makes sense.

Honestly, all day something's
been feeling a little bit off.

I thought I Just had a hangover.
- no, dude. Wake the fuck up!

I only came here to
fucking raid your fridge,

get my Fanny pack, and
warn you, that's it.

- Thank you, man. I
really appreciate it.

-Good luck.

-Sit down.

Right here.

Now... Here we go.

All right.

-Let's do this thing.

Good.

- Since when do you
make house calls?

- Since they gave
me the opportunity

to charge you more money.

-Fair enough.

-So, is your dad here?

-Um, he actually died today.

-Good news.

- I'm Just kidding.
He's at work.

-Bad news, 'Cause he's a dick.

Your father is a scoundrel.

He is a cheater.

And he owes me a lot of money.

- My brother, you are preaching
to the choir on that one.

Um... My thing is, I kind of stay
out of other people's business,

so maybe, if you could Just give
me my prescription, we could...

-you know what?

You don't need your
prescription anymore.

You're perfectly healthy.

Your condition has
corrected itself.

-All right, let me, uh...

Let me Just get this
straight for the record.

So, you're... you're saying that

the blood-pressure condition
I've had for the last 15 years,

and been on medication for, has
Just magically corrected itself?

-Basically, yes.

- If you're trying to
get back at my dad

by killing me, I-I don't
think it's Gonna work.

The guy... the guy
really hates me.

- Raymond, I have
been your physician

since you were born.
I circumcised you.

There's no sort of
game being played here.

You've simply outgrown
your condition.

Simple as that.

Happens all the time.

- I got to get the
fuck out of this town.

-Well, at least aerobics class

will help take my mind off
Hector's disappearance.

Oh, come to think of it, honey,

your old friend David's
mom will be there tonight.

- Mom, what are you
talking about?

- Well, once a week,
several of us get together

for a group workout.
- no, I mean, are...

Are you talking
about Dave Richards?

- Mm-hmm.
- I'm not friends with that guy.

He's a total scumbag.
- oh, honey, shush.

His mother says he's working
for the school district now.

I think teaching is
such a noble profession.

- Teaching is a noble
profession, mom.

But did his mom tell
you also about how...

And I don't like using this
language in front of you,

but he fingered a
girl who was asleep

on the back of the bus, and
she didn't even know about it.

-Allegedly fingered her.

-Ah, what are you doing?!

- Oh, stop.
- Stop! Stop, stop, stop, stop!

- It's that cute little cowlick.
- I know, it's per...

It took like an hour
to get it like this.

Don't touch it. What is this?

- we're stopping at
the school first.

Can't have your father
starving now, can we?

-God forbid.

- I don't care what
your policy is.

He signed a contract.

-You have to fucking tip him?

How's the lawn look?

- I'm having trouble
taking the exam

with all these distractions.

- Pumpkin, if you want to
start taking your exams

in the quiet room with all
the special-ed students,

I'm Gonna need to see a
note from your doctor.

- Nice pants. My sister
has the same Ones.

-Hello? Yes.

Will you slow down, please?

I can't understand
what you're saying.

Well, you tell him to call me

the second he
returns, comprende?

Gracias.

-What was that about?

Take a knee.

Hector has been missing
since last night.

- Dad, I think something
weird's going on.

One of his workers came by
this morning looking for him.

- Yeah?
- He said they found

some kind of, like, box
buried in the yard.

Do you know anything about this?
- What?

Those fucking putas.

Did you tell your
mother about this?

- No.
- Don't.

You know how she gets.

All right, get out of here.

Time's up.

Exams on the desk.

- Start where we left off?
- Sure.

Hey, how late are
you working tonight?

- Why?
- My mom and her friends

are getting together at the
house for a group workout,

and I was thinking maybe
we could hang out.

-Sounds terrible.

- Us hanging out or my mom
working out with her friends?

-Us hanging out.

-Yeah.

I agree.

Guess what... Dave Richards'
mom is Gonna be there tonight.

- Didn't he finger some girl on
the bus while she was asleep?

-Allegedly.

-Yeah.

Um... Anyway, I guess he's doing
really good for himself.

So I guess it pays to
finger girls on buses.

- Dave Richards used to go
to parties in high school

with a condom on his
dick Just in case.

- I bet that was a big
hit with the girls.

-Only me.

Listen, I've got drum
practice tonight, so...

Maybe another time.

-Cool.

- And I give the bitch
a skosh of chloroform

and all of the sudden,
I'm the bad guy.

What's up, faggot?

-Yo. What's up, dudes?

Cool shirts.

Hey, look, I-I'm really
dehydrated right now

and I don't want any trouble.
- Seriously?

Well, there's three of
us and only one of you,

and we don't give a fuck
what you want, so...

- The good news is, I'm Gonna
be in town for a while.

So if you want to take the day
off from threatening me, that...

Carl!

- Let him go. Let him go.
Let him go.

He's pretty fucked up.

-Raymond, pop the trunk.

Pop the trunk!

- I thought you shipped
off to the peace corps.

- I'm shipping out tonight.
I had to get my shit.

I'm glad I'm seeing
you 'Cause...

ever since I saw you last time,

I've had this really bad feeling
in the pit of my stomach.

- What do you mean?
- I don't know, you Just...

You seem really
distraught and confused.

You know, and I Just
want you to know...

I've been there.

-Cool. Thanks. I... thank you.

- You got to take a good,
long, honest look at yourself

in the mirror, you know,

and Just... and Just
say to yourself,

"I'm okay with this," you know?

Say, "I love myself. -I'm
o... I'm okay like this.

- It's about acceptance.
- Okay.

Can I ask you a question?
- It gets better.

- Um, I really don't know what
you're talking about right now,

but I'm agreeing with you
kind of Just to be polite.

- I get... 'Cause...
'Cause you're gay.

- N... no, I... oh.

No, I'm not. I'm not.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Not gay. Straight.
- 'Cause you seem so gay.

-I take it as a compliment.

- Anyway, what is with you?
Why are you so sad?

- If I tell you, do you promise
you won't make fun of me?

- I never know.
- You never know.

Well, ever since
I've been back home,

I've been having
these flashbacks

to, like, spirits that I
used to see when I was a kid,

coupled with, like, strange,
supernatural sensations.

- Oh, my g...
- You okay?

You okay?

-Just wait a second. Just...

I see things, too.
Don't tell anybody.

-Are you serious?

- I think you're seeing spirits
that haven't crossed over

to the other side. -no,
but I'm not seeing ghosts.

I'm not seeing anything.
I'm Just have strange...

-that doesn't matter.

From the sound of it,
you're going to see Them.

They're reaching out to
you, and when they do,

you're Gonna have to
figure out what they want.

- This sounds like a
major inconvenience.

- oh, you have no idea.
You have no idea.

Ghosts only communicate
when they want something.

And they can visit you
in any form they want.

Aah! I mean, they can
be a man, a woman.

It could be human, it could
be a horrible monster.

Get off the car.

Get off the car.
Get in the car.

Get in the car.

-Okay.

Now, this... This is
an evil-eye pendant.

Okay? it's gotten me out of
a lot of hairy situations.

I want you to use it
to protect yourself.

- Okay.
- Here.

Always use protection.

Okay?

-Yeah.

- don't Just... put
it in your pocket.

-oh, yeah.

-don't lose it.

-And lunge.

Lunge. Lunge.

And, yes, yes.

Okay.

And up. And up.

And bring it down.

And down. And down.

And down.

And, ooh, yeah.

And two. And three.

And lunge.

Lunge.

And yes, yes.

Pull it back.

-Hey, dad.

You're a total fucking creep.

And that's a fact.

-Huh!

-Raymond!

Come in. -Hi.

-Come here, honey.

Look, it's Mrs. Richards.

-Look at you!

Oh, my god, all fancy,
coming down from the big city

to grace us with your presence.

Oh, yeah, and your mom tells
me you're looking for work.

-Yep.

Looking for work.
Can't find a job.

- Mm.
- Thanks for bringing that up.

-Honey, it's networking.

- Um, you know, I can't
put my finger on it,

but Just the other day,
someone was telling me

that Dave's doing really good.

You must be proud.
- oh, I am so proud.

Hey, wait. Look at this.

Check this out. Here's
my handsome man.

-So fucking handsome.

And you know what I've always
found most handsome about him?

His thick fingers.

-Excu... excuse me?

-Very thick fingers.

I've always been envious.

-You know, he's a teacher now.

-oh, really? A teacher? Wow.

- It has given him such...
Direction, focus, purpose.

- Direction, focus, and purpose.
What more could you want?

- And, oh...
- Hold on.

Do you hear that? I got to go.

- Okay, look.
- I kn... I know...

- I know, I have to talk to you.
- I know, I know.

- There is something
wrong with him.

- He's Just really
sensitive, honey.

So, break's over, ladies.

-Okay.

- Hop to it!
- Let's go.

And, go!

And up. And do it.

Mom! Y... - Raymond! - What?

-What are you screaming about?

- There's something in the drain!
- What?

- Hey, did you eat
my ice-cream cake?

- Donald.
- Huh?

-Raymond?

-Did you?

-Yeah, I did.

-He did. He ate it.

-Yeah. Sorry.

- Yeah, he did. I knew it.
I knew it.

God damn it. -Donald...

- Raymond, you know how much
I love that ice-cream cake.

-oh... oh, Donald.

Honey, you're not even...
- what are you screaming

all over the goddamn
place for all the time?!

-Did you find anything?

- Did I not warn you not to
get your mother worked up?

- Dad, there was somebody
or something in my room.

You have to believe me.
- Something?

Somebody?

No, there's nothing!

There's nothing in this room!

- Dad, I saw it with my own eyes.
- Nothing!

There never was. -There was.

- Your mother and I are starting
to worry about you, son.

There's a history of
schizophrenia in our family.

-Who has schizophrenia?

- Well, you caught
me in a lie there.

No, there's no schizophrenia
in our family.

-Why would you make that up?

- I'm Just trying
to make a point.

You're acting like a
paranoid schizophrenic.

And I want it to stop!

You get your shit together.

-Hey.

What's wrong with the
bed in your room?

-Um...

I was kind of
uncomfortable up there,

so I thought I'd sleep down
here where it's comfortable.

-Mm.

-I think I'm Just...

I'm Just stressing myself out
with this job search, you know?

- Well, you have to learn
how to handle that.

Stress management is a
very important component

in success in business.

- It really is.
- Yeah.

Ow.

What the hell?

-What happened to your arm?

-I don't know.

Your mother must have
scratched me in her sleep.

Although I think I got
one on my scrotum, too.

She wasn't anywhere near it.

- I don't know who
or what you are,

but I'm really, really sorry
that you were disturbed.

So what I'm Gonna do is I'm
Gonna give you a proper burial.

And in return, I would
really appreciate it

if you would Just cross
over to the other side

and leave me and
my family alone.

This is a really bad
time for a haunting.

Longstreet ranch... 1860.

Well, I tried.

Aah!

Aah! What the... Fuck?!

-Thanks for coming.

- oh, man.

Aah! Fuck!

Mom, dad, I was...

masturbating.

-oh.

Be careful, darling.

-Hello?

-You know...

When your mother
worries about you,

I never hear the end of it.

And she was in such a
good mood all morning.

- Why is she in such a good mood?
- They found Hector today.

- Really? Is he okay?
What happened to him?

-Nobody knows.

He's delirious.

If you ask me, the
guy's on meth.

- What do you know
about meth, dad?

-Everything.

- Really? Everything? You
know everything about meth?

- I saw a documentary
narrated by dwart farquhar.

- Who the shit is dwart farquhar?
- Farquhar.

Very underrated actor.

- All right. I'll
look into his work.

What's your favorite
movie of his?

- "Running out of bullets."
- I'll watch that one first.

-All right. Here, I found this.

- That's not mine. But
I'll hold onto it for you.

- Yeah. All right.
And I know meth.

-How'd you get in here?

You really believe me?
- Why are you so surprised?

- I guess it's the first
ghost I've seen in a while.

I'm Just not used to
being taken seriously.

Damn, it's closed. oh, Well.

Come back tomorrow?

-Cover me.

- What are you doing?
What are you doing?

Those are really nice windows.
Don't break those.

What does that even mean?

What now?

Shh!

-Ladies first.

-All right. Longstreet...

Okay. Okay, there it is.
Longstreet.

- "Elizabeth longstreet,
died January 27, 1855.

Survived by her husband,
ambrose longstreet,

and daughter, Hannah."

- Look at this...
Ambrose longstreet

and his daughter, Hannah, died
on the same day, July 18, 1860."

-What do you think happened?

- "Last night, longstreet ranch,
the site of a terrible slaughter

carried out by the
bogden brothers."

-Are you crying?

-I'm extra sensitive.

Oh, I better not
be pregnant again.

-Okay.

Um...

Ambrose's body was found strewn
across an unmarked grave.

- That's so tragic.
- No, that's it. That's it.

She's the one haunting me.
The little girl, Hannah.

S-she wants to be returned

to where her father
buried her, probably.

-Fuckin' "a."

- So, all we got to
do is find her body,

put it back in the ground.

She'll be at rest, and then
we can be done with all this.

- Did you say "we"?
- Shit, yeah, I said "we."

You got a banana in
your ear or something?

We. You and me. What,
are you scared?

You scared? You look a little
scared, I'm Gonna be honest.

- Aren't you supposed to
communicate with the dead?

Just ask the ghost
where her body went.

I don't have all day.

-You raise an interesting point.

-Really have to wear this?

- Sh! Keep your voice down.
You're Gonna wake up my dad.

And yes, we do
have to wear this.

If you want to make contact
with the spirit world,

you have to follow
specific rules,

and everyone knows they
find white soothing.

-I look like a klan member.

-You kind of do.

Also, they're drawn
to candlelight.

Can you... can you

please show a little respect?
- What?!

- When we ask her
where her spirit is,

she shouldn't feel threatened.

She has to feel encouraged.
We have to encourage her.

- And what if she
does feel threatened?

-How fast can you run?

All right. You ready?

Give me your hand.

Hannah longstreet, hi.

My name is Raymond, and
this is my associate, Becca.

We are inhabitants
of the living world,

so please tell us
where your body is.

- That worked great.
- Shh.

Oh, you know what?

We need something
that belonged to her.

The box she was buried in.
I'll go get it.

-I'll get it.

You can wait in the
creepy room alone.

-You fucking kidding me?

Aah!

Holy shit. Becca, you're not
Gonna believe what I Just saw.

What?

Aaah! -Ah! Whoa!

- Dad!
- Whoa!

Who are you? -Dad!

-Hey! Yo...
-dad, I can explain.

- we thought there was
a burglar down here.

Hey, you bring a girl home,
you take her up to your room.

Next time you interrupt
your mother sucking my dick,

there's Gonna be hell to pay.

-Did you really Just say that?

- If I had it to do over,
I wouldn't have revealed

that last piece of information.

Where'd you get this?

Did you dig this
up out of the yard?

- How'd you know it was
buried in the yard?

Dad, where's the body?
- Drop it.

- Dad, tell me where the body is.
- Just drop it, Raymond.

- I'm warning you.
- Dad, where's the body?

-I'm telling you to drop it.

- Dad, I'm telling you...
- Drop it!

- Tell me where the body
is or I'll tell mom.

- Becca, I know
where the body is.

- I don't want to be part
of this anymore, Raymond.

- Becca, you're the first person
who's seen what I've seen.

-I've seen enough.

- Well, can I at least
get my mom's sheet back?

- You sleep here?
- Yeah.

Not everyone has parents paying
our way through business school.

- Help me bury her.
- No.

- we bury her and it's all over.
That's how this works.

Come on. How about
we put the spirit

of a murdered
little girl to rest?

Now I got you, you
little son of a bitch.

-Out of the question.

It's a historical artifact.

-True.

But it doesn't belong to you.

- Your father gave it to me.
That makes it a donation.

- And there's nothing I can
do to help persuade you?

Him. What about him?

-What about me?

- Give me a blow job and
you can have the skeleton.

- All right.
- No! Sit.

- Well, I believe we're
done here, then.

- Were you seriously Gonna
give him a blow job?

-I was thinking about it.

-Virginia...

See these young
folks out, please.

- I can't believe your dad
gave her body to that asshole.

Guess we'll have to
break in again tonight.

- How are we Gonna know where
Hannah's body is, though?

- What do you kids want with
the body of a dead girl?

- You wouldn't believe
us if we told you.

-Her spirit has returned

from beyond the
grave, hasn't it?

I've been communicating with the
spirit world my entire life.

People used to
think I was crazy.

- Holy shit. I get
that a lot myself.

Look, lady, I don't
know who you are

or what your story is,
but we need your help.

We can't put Hannah's
spirit back to rest

if we don't have her body,

and that dildo licker
won't give it to us.

- we have a storage
facility downstairs.

I will switch her remains
and meet you out back.

Cornelius is blind as a bat.
He'll never know the difference.

You have such a strong aura.

Do you know, spirits
are attracted

to people like you and I.

-Fucking weirdos.

- oh, shit!

-What the fuck?

You should probably
get that checked out.

-Should we say something?

-Yeah.

Rest in peace, Hannah. I'm
sorry that you're dead.

But hey, at least you're back
together with your family.

Amen.

- Hello.
- Well, I hope you two

managed to relegate your
activities to the bedroom.

-Donald, your manners.

Excuse him.

Raymond, is this your friend?

-I'm Becca.

- Hi. Would you like to
stay for dinner, honey?

Some of Donald's players
are coming over.

-Um... Maybe another time.

-oh, all right.

- Hey, dad?
- What are you doing here?

- Look, I know we don't always
see eye to eye on everything,

but I Just want you to know

that having a relationship
with you is...

It's really important to me.

-Raymond... You're my son.

-That's it?

- Would you mind going
down to the kitchen

and helping your mom?

Tonight is very important to me.

Fuck my life.

Every year, we have a
little get-together

for our award winners.

The best of the best.

You're my "a" squad.

And I'm proud of each
and every one of you.

This first award goes to our
fiercest defender of the year.

He's a young man I've watched
grow from a boy to a man,

and I'd like to think I taught
him everything he knows.

I love him like family.

I couldn't be more proud of him.

Archibald, come up
here and get this.

Come on.

-Love you, coach.

-With a name like Archibald,

you kind of have to
get good at sports

to avoid getting
your ass kicked.

- Raymond, please.
- Just saying.

It's, like, the worst name ever.

- now, before we get
to the second award,

I want to apologize.

My wife forgot the grape pop.

Hey, sorry.

All right. now,
our second award,

that I think is the
most improved...

Jimmy. Come on up here.

Yes.

There you go.

- Your father's Just
as proud of you

as he is of his
players, Raymond.

Sometimes he Just has a
hard time showing it.

-Thanks.

-All right. Thanks for coming.

All right.

Playoffs begin next
week, all right?

Let's be ready.

Sorry about what happened.

What the hell was that in there?
- Dad, you and mom

need to move into a hotel.
- What are you talking about?

- I know it sounds crazy,
but the house is haunted.

- Are you out of your mind?
- No, I'm not!

I'm sorry I embarrassed you
in front of your boyfriends.

- You've been an embarrassment to
me since the day you were born.

However, I've managed to lower
my expectations to a degree

that an incident
like that in there

leaves me relatively unaffected.

But what does bother me is the
state of your mental health,

because you're acting
like a fucking nut.

Now get it together!

- Why won't she leave you alone?
- I don't know.

Maybe she still has unfinished
business or something.

- we buried your body. What
are you so hung up on?

- My dad's Gonna have
me institutionalized.

- Why doesn't she Just come right
out and tell us what she wants?

- Wait a minute...
Maybe she's trying to,

and we Just don't
know how to hear her.

- oh, Christ, evey.
You saw him tonight.

- Having him committed is
not the answer, Donald.

- Yeah?
- He's going through a phase.

It will pass.

-What if it doesn't?

- we don't get to
pick our children.

All we can do is love Them.

-Mm.

We should've adopted.

Not some ethnic kid. You
know what I'm saying.

A white kid.

- Donald, your
breath is terrible.

Go brush, will you?

-Ahhhhh!

-Uh, no solicitors.

-don.

Who is it?

- We're here to see your son.
- Raymond?

- Well, whatever he's
done, I apologize.

The kid's not right in the head.
- no, let her in.

- Where in the hell
are you going?

- He's upstairs.
- What's wrong with you?

What are you...?

- oh, it's Just so good to
see Raymond making friends.

- Raymond, this is
my granddaughter.

Zelda, say hello.

-Hi, Zelda. Nice to meet you.

Okay.

What's she doing here?

- Well, Hannah's spirit
has been troubling you,

and speaking with someone her
own age will help relax her.

It's good to see you again.

What's this?

Has anything
happened to the body?

-I dropped it.

-She's been marked.

You can't stay here.

It's not safe for
you to be in here.

You must go. You
must wait outside.

-Good.

I will wait outside.

-Hi.

It's a phonautograph.

It's the earliest-known
device for recording sound.

- I have a tape recorder in my
backpack, if that's easier.

-Hannah was born in the 1800s.

Our chances of communicating
with her are far greater

using a device from
the same period.

Zelda, I'm Gonna count
from three down to one.

I want you to drift off
into the spirit world,

but I want your
mind to remain here.

Three, two, one.

Can you hear me, Zelda?

-Yes, grandma.

- How'd she do that?
- She's crossed over.

-Hannah, are you there?

Hannah, speak to us.
Tell us what you want.

-it's angry.

- Zelda, ask Hannah
why she's angry.

-it's angry. it's not Hannah.

- Zelda, did you see the spirit?
Can you describe it?

-it's ambrose longstreet.

-Who?

-Hannah's father.

-Ambrose, what do you want?

-He won't let me go.

- Ambrose, let her go and
tell us what you want.

-I want it back.

-What do you want back?

-The necklace.

- What necklace?
Who... who has it?

- The man.
- He stole it.

-The man.

-He stole it.

-The man.

-He stole it.

-What man? Who has it?

Where is the necklace, ambrose?

-He did it.

- How do you feel?
- Not so good.

- Virginia, I can't
do this without you.

- Raymond, you must. If not,
Becca's in great danger.

-What do you mean?

- If a spirit interacts
with someone

who's psychically unaware,
it turns vengeful.

You, her, your parents will
all be in great danger.

It's only Gonna get worse.
Where's the necklace?

- I don't know what necklace
he's talking about.

-Raymond, you've got to find it!

-Raymond.

All right, that's it.

That's it. You can't
stay here anymore.

- Listen, dad, you and
mom are in trouble!

- no, you listen! I've
canceled your credit cards.

I've stopped payment
on your apartment.

You are cut off, mister.
- Dad, this is serious.

- You take one step
back into that house,

I'll have you committed.

You understand? Committed!

-You look like shit.

-Thanks. I had a nightmare.

I don't think I'll
ever get over the fact

that you slept
with Dave Richards.

-Allegedly.

Your neck hurt? I've
got a pill for that.

-I have to find that necklace

before something bad
happens to my parents.

-Ahh.

- Sweetheart, something
to drink, please.

Oh.

Make it a double.

Ooh.

Whoo!

So, Raymond, the doctor called

and said your father can
come home this afternoon.

Donald's depressed, though.

It seems Archibald invited him
to the country club tonight.

- Hm. Country club.
That figures.

You know, you don't run across

a lot of poor people
named Archibald.

-You don't, do you?

Hmm.

Ooh, excuse me.

This is fun.

I like her.

- Mom, please listen to me.
The house is not safe.

Promise me you won't
go back there,

not until I can
take care of things.

- Sh! Raymond, for
heaven's sake,

what is going on with you?

I'm worried about you, honey.

- Mom, Just promise me you'll
spend the rest of the day

at the hospital with dad.
- But that's ridiculous.

It will really make
you feel better?

Okay, I will.

-Thank you.

-Hmm.

- Mom, why do you think
dad hates me so much?

- Your father doesn't
hate you, Raymond.

He Just...

He Just doesn't
understand some things.

I'm sorry.

What I want you to know

is that we both love you
very, very much, honey.

And we're proud of you.

And I want you to
always remember that.

-Thanks, mom.

- oh! I Just thought
of something...

A way that you can get back
into your dad's good graces.

And come home.

Thank you.

-Keys.

Give me your keys.

I think... I think you
might want to stay seated

for the next...
- oh, my goodness.

- few hours.

Do you have any water or coffee?
Anything?

You all right?

- oh, I think I'm
having a hot flash.

-Hi.

Excuse me.

-Why, hello, don.

Got your calls.

I was wondering how long
it was Gonna take you

before you realized Raymond
was off his antipsychotics.

Listen, give me my money,

and I will prescribe his "blood
pressure" medication again.

Okay? That's the deal.

Okeydoke.

Fucking cocksucker!

-Where's Mr. Wadsworth?

- Mr. Wadsworth is in the
hospital with a broken boner.

I've been approved to temporarily
fill in as substitute teacher

since they couldn't find anybody
else on such short notice.

-Bullshit.

- Let's start with
attendance, shall we?

-you're gay, right?

Never met a gay person before.

Being a football coach and all,

your father must
be so disappointed.

- Do you know me?
Do you know me?

I'm asking you a question.
Do you know me?

I'll tell you who I am.

I'm a fucking wizard...

Sent from the future in a
motherfucking time machine

to tell you that
you are an asshole.

You're the type of person

that makes fun of
fat, short little kids

and makes Them feel
bad about themselves

for the rest of their lives

because you think
you're so special.

Well, you know what?
You're not special.

You're not different.

You're not even
particularly interesting.

You're the same bigoted,
homophobic, redneck,

football-scoring, Martin
Luther king-assassinating,

asshole-faced
son-of-a-bitch redneck

that you have spent your
entire life rebelling against.

And I know that that
kills you inside.

Whew.

Sorry about that.

- Want to get out of here?
- Yeah.

Yeah, let's get the
fuck out of here.

Hey, fuck you guys.

All right, Becca, wait here.

Better yet, go back to the bar.
It's safer.

- oh, please. I can
take care of myself.

- You've been marked. I'm not
letting you go any further.

-You've been marked.

You saw what
happened to Virginia.

You're not going in there alone.

-Aah!

That felt good.

Ambrose.

Ambrose?

Ambrose.

Ambrose?

Ambrose.

-Whoa, check this out.

-You okay?

-Ambrose, don't kill her!

I can fix this!

Just tell me where
the necklace is.

- I'm not riding in this thing
again until you get new tags.

Do you have any idea how many
drugs I have on me right now?

- Just keep watch
while I sneak inside.

- Well, my night Just got a
whole lot more interesting.

-Dad?

Are you all right?

Did you say something?

Eve sent you a gorgeous bouquet.

I'm Gonna get you some water.

-Where's the necklace?

-Noelle.

-Get... get on the couch!

Who are you?! -I can explain.

I can expl... -who are you?

- I'm... I'm a friend of
your father's, Raymond.

He was working at
my parents' house

the night that he disappeared.

-oh, you're... you're Eve's son.

Raymond.

-Raymond.

-Jesus.

- I-is that... does that
necklace belong to you?

-Uh, no. I-I...

Well, I found it in
my father's jacket.

- I'm sorry, it's
stolen property,

and I'm Gonna have
to ask for it back.

-S-stolen?

Oh.

Sorry.

Just take it. it's not
really my thing, anyway.

It's vintage, so... -Wow.

So, um... so you're
Hector's daughter.

It's so weird our families have
known each other for so long,

yet we've never met.

- Well, I was grounded for
most of my childhood,

so there was that.

And then, uh, I run
an Internet business.

It keeps me busy. -Busty
latina Bootys, right?!

-You know my site?

-Bootylover44.

-oh, you're a kinky one.

- You're... you're Noelle!
- You're a dirty one.

- I am a dirty one.
- You are a dirty one.

- Small world.
- It is.

-Holy shit. Small world.

I can't tell you what
a pleasure it's been

masturbating to you.
- Thank you.

No, it's been a real
pleasure taking your money.

So, you want to watch
TV or something?

- No. You should probably...
- I'll leave.

-Where's my car?

-They towed it.

-You didn't stop Them?

-Fucking pigs.

Come on, my car's at the bar.

-Shouldn't we call a cab?

-Well, yeah, dude,

because they're a bunch
of liberal cocksuckers.

You... you listening
to a word we're saying?

They'll socialize that
jacket if you let Them.

Fuck. -My keys are in the back.

-oh, what you got there, bud?

Give it to me!

- Give it back, pope!
Seriously, man!

- What the fuck are you
Gonna do about it, huh?

- You know what? I'm Gonna
punch you in the face

and probably get my ass kicked.
- Prove it.

-Suck on that.

- Fellas, make sure to
tell my parole officer

this was self-defense, huh?

- Lay a hand on him and
there's Gonna be trouble.

-Stay back, Becca. Stay back.

- Stay the fuck out
of this, Becca.

I've never hit a girl, and
I'm not about to start.

I'm pretty sure I'll like it.
- I'm not scared of you, pope.

-Fine, girly.

Just remember that you
begged for it, huh?

-Ow! Fuck!

- Keys!

Whoo!

- What the hell are
you doing here?

- Mom, what happened
to your neck?

Are you okay? -The
banister broke.

Which is odd, we
Just had it replaced.

- Mom, get out of the
house right now.

- She's not going
anywhere, all right?

Did I not warn you

about stepping foot in
this house again? Huh?

- Don...
- And you...

You stop running after my boy.

You're trouble.

-Suck my dick.

- What are you Gonna
do with those shovels?

Huh?! -Wait!

Wait! Wait.

Wait.

-Stop. Stop!

Stop with the goddamn shovels.

Stop tearing up my goddamn yard!

-Hey, dad, thanks for telling me

I've been on antipsychotics
for the past 15 years.

- What?
- The blood-pressure medication

I've been on for like half my
life, it's all a freaking lie.

Dad's been getting Dr. carpenter
to prescribe me antipsychotics.

- And for good reason.

- Ever since you
started taking these,

you stopped seeing
those goddamn ghosts.

Remember how he scared
you all the time,

acting crazy like this,
like he is right now?

Stop it!

You're in big trouble, Raymond.
Big trouble.

Eve, make the call. -no.

I won't, Donald.

- All right. If you want
to do something right,

you do it your goddamn self.

-What's he doing?

-He's having you committed.

-Good.

-They're coming, Raymond.

The wagon from the nuthouse
is coming to take you away.

-Is that a dead body?

-Sleep Well, Hannah.

- it's all right.
He's got to go.

- Donald...
- Stop. Stop. Stop it.

-Come on.

What... The...

-Allow me to explain.

We Just reunited a
family in the afterlife

and spared you from the
wrath of a vengeful spirit.

So, on behalf of Becca and I,

I would Just like to
say fuck you, fuck you,

fuck you, fuck you,

and especially, fuck you.

Not you, mom. I love you.

-I love you, too.

- "F" you!

- Congratulations
on your first day.

Nervous? -Yeah, I'm nervous.

I mean, you gave up
bartending to work for me.

What if this doesn't pan out?

-I believe in you.

Ready to greet your customers?

-Yeah.

-Well, it's morning.

Most hauntings happen at night.

- I don't need you
to cheer me up.

Everyone, shut the fuck up!

Please sign in, and
we'll get to you

one at a time as fast as we can.

-Ohh.

-Thanks.

♪ Hope it helped -> bozxphd ♪