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00:00:04,877 --> 00:00:09,216
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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00:00:09,217 --> 00:00:10,550
- Mr. President!
- Mr. President!
3
00:00:10,551 --> 00:00:12,987
Wow!
Spring has sprung.
4
00:00:12,988 --> 00:00:16,190
All winter long, adult-film
stars have been hibernating,
5
00:00:16,191 --> 00:00:17,524
bellies full of fish,
6
00:00:17,525 --> 00:00:19,693
and now they're all emerging
from their caves,
7
00:00:19,694 --> 00:00:21,762
giving interviews
to Anderson Cooper.
8
00:00:21,763 --> 00:00:24,864
Sir, why haven't you refuted
the Stormy Daniels allegations?
9
00:00:24,865 --> 00:00:27,200
I'm trying to take the high road
and do everything I can
10
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,869
not to have a picture
of my penis go public.
11
00:00:29,870 --> 00:00:31,604
I mean, that thing is like a vampire ...
12
00:00:31,605 --> 00:00:33,539
bloodless, can't see it in a mirror,
13
00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:36,575
and, at first, Eastern European
women fall in love with it,
14
00:00:36,576 --> 00:00:38,945
but, eventually, they try to
drive a wooden stake through it.
15
00:00:38,946 --> 00:00:41,180
Are you having trouble hiring lawyers?
16
00:00:41,181 --> 00:00:45,617
I've got great, great lawyer.
His name is Jay Sekulow.
17
00:00:45,618 --> 00:00:47,920
He looks like the one guy in
the women-and-children lifeboat,
18
00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:49,554
and he's working hard on my case
19
00:00:49,555 --> 00:00:52,191
in the makeup chair
between cable-news appearances.
20
00:00:52,192 --> 00:00:54,092
Will you be bringing on
any other representation?
21
00:00:54,093 --> 00:00:55,393
Glad you asked.
22
00:00:55,394 --> 00:00:57,296
I'm pleased to announce
I have a new lawyer
23
00:00:57,297 --> 00:00:59,730
who's poised
to completely exonerate me
24
00:00:59,731 --> 00:01:03,034
or negotiate my secret
3:00 a.m. airlift to Moscow.
25
00:01:03,035 --> 00:01:05,136
And like any respectable law firm,
26
00:01:05,137 --> 00:01:08,139
he's got a great television
commercial. Take a look.
27
00:01:08,140 --> 00:01:10,708
When you're represented
by Jean-Luc Tannenbaum,
28
00:01:10,709 --> 00:01:12,376
you're represented by the best.
29
00:01:12,377 --> 00:01:15,078
Tannenbaum received
his degree in law crimes
30
00:01:15,079 --> 00:01:18,081
from the U.S. Virgin
Islands School of Justice,
31
00:01:18,082 --> 00:01:20,901
Nursing, & Hotel Management.
He's defended clients
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00:01:20,902 --> 00:01:23,720
from the family courts
of Northern New Jersey
33
00:01:23,721 --> 00:01:26,256
to the drunk tanks
of Southern New Jersey.
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00:01:26,257 --> 00:01:29,425
He's a pillar of his community,
a family man,
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00:01:29,426 --> 00:01:32,427
and has had sex with more
than 50 of his clients.
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00:01:32,428 --> 00:01:33,829
Not bad, huh?
37
00:01:33,830 --> 00:01:37,599
For a consultation, visit Jean-Luc
at his Washington headquarters,
38
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:40,269
with cash, preferably
before the 1st of the month.
39
00:01:40,270 --> 00:01:41,603
No cops.
40
00:01:41,604 --> 00:01:45,464
♪ Jean-Luc Tannenbaum ♪
Ding!
41
00:01:45,725 --> 00:01:48,255
1x09 - Church and State
42
00:01:48,290 --> 00:01:51,477
Shark! Oh, God, no-no!
Oh! Aah!
43
00:01:56,485 --> 00:02:00,421
So sayeth Genesis,
"When all the land of Egypt
44
00:02:00,422 --> 00:02:04,492
was famished, the people
cried out to Pharaoh for bread."
45
00:02:04,493 --> 00:02:08,195
Bread's expensive, people!
Good move by the pharaoh.
46
00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:11,031
Mr. President, would you like
to say a few words?
47
00:02:11,032 --> 00:02:12,465
Uh, totally optional, by the way.
48
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:13,666
We'd understand if you'd rather no...
49
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:16,669
Wow! Jesus never
drew a crowd this big.
50
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:19,472
Did you know he was Jewish?
You picture Hugh Jackman,
51
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,209
when Jesus actually looked like
a little orthodontist.
52
00:02:23,210 --> 00:02:25,677
How was church today?
53
00:02:25,678 --> 00:02:27,980
Uneventful.
They love me over there.
54
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:29,481
"President Satan."
55
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,617
That's what many are calling
President Trump
56
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:34,236
after he was caught on
a hot Mic committing
57
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:36,855
the biggest religious gaffe since
Reagan armed the Taliban.
58
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:39,058
Was that Joseph guy a putz, or what?
59
00:02:39,059 --> 00:02:41,492
Clearly, he wasn't taking care
of Mary's needs.
60
00:02:41,493 --> 00:02:43,995
I mean, if God knocked up my
wife, he'd never doink again.
61
00:02:43,996 --> 00:02:48,033
- I'd cut off God's penis.
- Sir, I think that's a hot Mic.
62
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,035
Mike, stop acting like a tech buff.
63
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:53,338
You think your great-grandfather
hunted dinosaurs.
64
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,307
How do grown adults
still worship Jesus?
65
00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:57,474
I mean, where was Jesus
when the Taj Mahal
66
00:02:57,475 --> 00:02:59,310
was at a standstill with the unions?
67
00:02:59,311 --> 00:03:01,345
Sometimes people need to believe
68
00:03:01,346 --> 00:03:03,414
in something bigger than themselves.
69
00:03:03,415 --> 00:03:06,016
Like how I believe
this entire experience
70
00:03:06,017 --> 00:03:09,720
is just a dream inside a giant's mind,
and when he wakes up,
71
00:03:09,721 --> 00:03:13,922
I will be back in Trump Tower
with my friends, the help.
72
00:03:16,493 --> 00:03:18,694
Sir, I'm told your
imitation of Moses' stutter
73
00:03:18,695 --> 00:03:22,098
at church was inspiring.
There's just one problem.
74
00:03:22,099 --> 00:03:25,168
You appear to have gaps
in your Bible knowledge.
75
00:03:25,169 --> 00:03:28,237
If a book doesn't have "Adventure
Dog" in the title, I haven't read it.
76
00:03:28,238 --> 00:03:30,773
Before the White House
Easter festivities,
77
00:03:30,774 --> 00:03:32,907
I think it would be wise to study up
78
00:03:32,908 --> 00:03:35,043
in Mike Pence's weekly Bible study.
79
00:03:35,044 --> 00:03:38,113
Can I still attend if I'm
in Palm Beach and golfing?
80
00:03:38,414 --> 00:03:41,583
And, uh, if you ever want to hang
out, just let me know, Ezra.
81
00:03:41,584 --> 00:03:43,918
Might be the last time without
a corrections officer listening in.
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00:03:43,919 --> 00:03:45,520
Yeah, I'm good,
but I'll get in touch
83
00:03:45,521 --> 00:03:47,922
if I ever need advice
on how to screw up my life.
84
00:03:49,124 --> 00:03:50,858
Well, it's official.
85
00:03:50,859 --> 00:03:52,860
My only human contact, our lawyer,
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00:03:52,861 --> 00:03:56,063
- is telling me not to talk to humans.
- Jared, don't give up.
87
00:03:56,064 --> 00:03:57,631
Everyone needs friends.
88
00:03:57,632 --> 00:04:00,966
I don't know what
I would do without...
89
00:04:02,437 --> 00:04:05,205
Anyways, if you don't have
friends, you don't have likes,
90
00:04:05,206 --> 00:04:07,474
and if you don't have likes,
you don't exist.
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00:04:10,911 --> 00:04:13,446
You guys don't believe
any of this Jesus stuff, right?
92
00:04:13,447 --> 00:04:14,914
Hell no!
We pray in the name of
93
00:04:14,915 --> 00:04:17,917
- the Dad, the sons...
- The sons are us, Dad!
94
00:04:17,918 --> 00:04:21,621
...and the holy spirit of tossing
chicks into swimming pools.
95
00:04:21,622 --> 00:04:22,721
- Amen!
- Amen!
96
00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:23,922
- Jinx!
- Fuck you!
97
00:04:23,923 --> 00:04:26,091
Jared, your nerd ass
is probably obsessed
98
00:04:26,092 --> 00:04:27,893
with that lame Jesus
church shit, right?
99
00:04:27,894 --> 00:04:32,464
I'm Jewish! You were at
my very Jewish wedding.
100
00:04:32,465 --> 00:04:34,099
You must have been doing
the Jewish stuff
101
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:36,235
while I was lifting
those chairs up and down.
102
00:04:37,837 --> 00:04:39,637
And one last piece of positive news ...
103
00:04:39,638 --> 00:04:42,507
the support from your
evangelical base has dropped,
104
00:04:42,508 --> 00:04:44,409
support amongst people
who toss soda bottles
105
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,677
in the air and shoot them
continues to grow.
106
00:04:46,678 --> 00:04:49,247
No way his evangelical
support dropped.
107
00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:51,582
They forgave you for the
"Access Hollywood" tape
108
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,017
and for allowing Puerto Rico
109
00:04:53,018 --> 00:04:55,420
to fester in pitch-black
darkness even to this day.
110
00:04:55,421 --> 00:04:57,521
Things always get messy
for religious types
111
00:04:57,522 --> 00:04:59,756
when you bring God's junk
into the equation.
112
00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:01,358
Mike, how do you spin it
113
00:05:01,359 --> 00:05:04,496
when you'd say you'd cut
off God's penis?
114
00:05:04,929 --> 00:05:07,197
I'll wake him up.
Two men holding hands!
115
00:05:07,198 --> 00:05:10,033
- Not in my Denny's!
- There's my little zealot.
116
00:05:10,034 --> 00:05:12,668
Sir, this is serious.
Your most devout supports
117
00:05:12,669 --> 00:05:15,471
are threatening to boycott
your Easter festivities.
118
00:05:15,472 --> 00:05:17,773
Lose their support,
and you'll lose your shot
119
00:05:17,774 --> 00:05:20,142
at that second term
you have no interest in.
120
00:05:23,713 --> 00:05:26,014
Lord President, did you know
121
00:05:26,015 --> 00:05:28,350
if you rearrange the letters
in "Donald J. Trump,"
122
00:05:28,351 --> 00:05:31,852
- it spells Jesus?
- That's not true, Stevie.
123
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,688
But you can make it true.
124
00:05:33,689 --> 00:05:37,325
If you become the holy president
the faithful yearn for,
125
00:05:37,326 --> 00:05:40,295
your power will exceed earthly bounds.
126
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:43,398
You'll be able to skip to the front
of the line of the Reptile House,
127
00:05:43,399 --> 00:05:46,401
change Oprah's name
to Jebediah ... finally,
128
00:05:46,402 --> 00:05:49,303
turn water into viscous, spicy wine,
129
00:05:49,304 --> 00:05:52,839
and smite my barber's
smarmy shampoo boy!
130
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:53,873
I don't know, Stevie.
131
00:05:57,212 --> 00:05:58,645
Also, you will be tax-exempt.
132
00:05:58,646 --> 00:06:00,847
I'm in!
Tell my three wives
133
00:06:00,848 --> 00:06:04,683
I'm going to be the most
Christian president in history!
134
00:06:04,684 --> 00:06:07,686
History! History...
135
00:06:09,389 --> 00:06:12,858
All right, churchies,
I want evangelicals so loyal
136
00:06:12,859 --> 00:06:15,161
that they give me the six-dollar
shirts off their backs.
137
00:06:15,162 --> 00:06:16,496
Let's hear ideas.
138
00:06:16,497 --> 00:06:18,598
If the Bible has taught me anything,
139
00:06:18,599 --> 00:06:20,866
it's that I should wait
for the men around me
140
00:06:20,867 --> 00:06:22,234
to explain what I've learned.
141
00:06:22,235 --> 00:06:25,036
What Betsy means is that
Jesus gained followers
142
00:06:25,037 --> 00:06:28,673
- by being a faithful servant of God.
- I'm always faithful ...
143
00:06:28,674 --> 00:06:31,109
as long as I don't meet
a younger, hotter God.
144
00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:33,378
I find the best way
to gain a following
145
00:06:33,379 --> 00:06:35,747
is to buy a street
vender's umbrella
146
00:06:35,748 --> 00:06:39,915
and twirl it in front of
pedestrians as free theater.
147
00:06:41,419 --> 00:06:44,721
Sir, to help bring the Christian
community into your embrace,
148
00:06:44,722 --> 00:06:47,191
how about I schedule
a pre-Easter appearance
149
00:06:47,192 --> 00:06:48,959
at a Houston megachurch?
150
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,262
Great idea.
Just don't bring Karen.
151
00:06:51,263 --> 00:06:54,898
Jesus was already crucified.
No need to bore him to death.
152
00:06:57,601 --> 00:06:59,469
Baruch atah Adonai.
153
00:06:59,470 --> 00:07:00,637
Eloheinu, Melech, haolam ...
154
00:07:00,638 --> 00:07:03,273
Birthday's over, Jared!
155
00:07:03,274 --> 00:07:05,441
We're gonna make you
a real Trump!
156
00:07:05,442 --> 00:07:08,244
What did I do to make you think
that I want to be a real Trump,
157
00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:11,548
- so I know never to do it again?
- Time to follow the Trump creed.
158
00:07:11,549 --> 00:07:14,149
Number one, make the Dad
look good, no matter what.
159
00:07:14,150 --> 00:07:16,552
And, two, when not making
the Dad look good,
160
00:07:16,553 --> 00:07:19,154
make the sons look cool as shit.
161
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:22,658
Don't you want to send back
an entrée for the fourth time?
162
00:07:22,659 --> 00:07:24,793
Steal your dentist's prescription pad?
163
00:07:24,794 --> 00:07:27,996
Buy size-14 shoes
when you're actually a 5 1/2?
164
00:07:27,997 --> 00:07:30,748
God, that sounds miserable.
What do you think, honey?
165
00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:33,501
I think you need to have
meaningful friendships
166
00:07:33,502 --> 00:07:37,758
to care about something bigger
than yourself. Like when I...
167
00:07:39,308 --> 00:07:41,342
Well, I've already sold
my soul to the devil.
168
00:07:41,343 --> 00:07:44,245
Might as well snort Adderall
with his cologne-drenched demons.
169
00:07:44,246 --> 00:07:47,290
Hell yeah! Now let's
get you uncircumcised.
170
00:07:47,325 --> 00:07:49,603
Ha. Good one.
171
00:07:52,119 --> 00:07:54,621
For thine is the kingdom
172
00:07:54,622 --> 00:07:56,856
and the power and the glory,
173
00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:58,157
forever and ever.
174
00:07:58,158 --> 00:08:00,159
- Amen.
- Amen.
175
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,662
I can't close my eyes.
That's when my dad appears
176
00:08:02,663 --> 00:08:05,698
and tells me only losers
close their eyes.
177
00:08:05,699 --> 00:08:08,834
Sir, for the masses to rally
behind you for eternity,
178
00:08:08,835 --> 00:08:12,538
you must seek redemption
through the sinner's prayer.
179
00:08:12,539 --> 00:08:14,973
First things first,
kneel before the Lord.
180
00:08:14,974 --> 00:08:16,975
I'd love to, Mikey,
but I haven't really
181
00:08:16,976 --> 00:08:18,677
taken my knees out of the box yet.
182
00:08:18,678 --> 00:08:21,045
I'd hate to bring down
their value by using them.
183
00:08:21,046 --> 00:08:23,514
How do you tie your shoes, sir?
184
00:08:23,515 --> 00:08:26,351
I sort of put 'em on when
I was 26, and here we are.
185
00:08:26,718 --> 00:08:28,519
Time for Trump test one.
186
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,688
Something you won't find
in your Torah
187
00:08:30,689 --> 00:08:35,491
is that humans have
Dominican over all animals.
188
00:08:35,994 --> 00:08:37,494
What the fuck?!
189
00:08:37,495 --> 00:08:39,444
- You have to kill the lion.
- What?!
190
00:08:39,479 --> 00:08:41,656
If you're gonna hang
with the Trumps, you need
191
00:08:41,657 --> 00:08:43,833
to routinely offend people
who think animals can emote.
192
00:08:43,834 --> 00:08:45,569
I'm already swimming in shit.
193
00:08:45,570 --> 00:08:48,472
I don't need to throw
a dead lion in the pool.
194
00:08:48,473 --> 00:08:50,507
Can I take this costume off?
195
00:08:50,508 --> 00:08:52,743
Just pee in the suit, Tillerson!
196
00:08:52,744 --> 00:08:55,911
You people fired me.
Can't you just let me leave?
197
00:08:55,912 --> 00:08:57,913
I miss my money so much.
198
00:08:59,015 --> 00:09:01,150
♪ And then there is the 10th ♪
199
00:09:01,151 --> 00:09:04,086
♪ Do not covet Karen Pence ♪
200
00:09:04,087 --> 00:09:06,221
♪ So heed these words ♪
201
00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:08,190
♪ Get on God's level ♪
202
00:09:08,191 --> 00:09:10,393
♪ Or spend eternity ♪
203
00:09:10,394 --> 00:09:13,060
♪ Spooning with the devil ♪
204
00:09:13,061 --> 00:09:16,431
And that informative little
ditty is how Karen and I
205
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:18,700
keep the Ten Commandments
in our hearts.
206
00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:20,702
- Now it's your turn.
- Ugh!
207
00:09:20,703 --> 00:09:24,038
Commandments 1 through 10 ...
suppress all human instincts.
208
00:09:24,039 --> 00:09:26,708
You've got it! You've never
been more ready for Houston.
209
00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:30,616
And now it's time for the Pence
family commandments ...
210
00:09:30,668 --> 00:09:33,280
- ... all 29.
- What?! What's this?
211
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,115
_
212
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,950
♪ Don't talk on first dates ♪
213
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:38,885
♪ And green grapes are nice ♪
214
00:09:38,886 --> 00:09:40,954
♪ But reds are a vice ♪
215
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,956
♪ Wash your hands before dinner ♪
216
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:44,925
♪ Billy Joel is a sinner ♪
217
00:09:47,127 --> 00:09:48,394
Hannity!
218
00:09:48,395 --> 00:09:49,862
Okay, welcome back.
Sit down!
219
00:09:49,863 --> 00:09:53,032
My next guests ...
Don Jr. and Eric Trump.
220
00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:55,868
I'd dig a penny out of their
asses if they asked me to!
221
00:09:55,869 --> 00:09:57,637
And I see you brought
a bonus Trump.
222
00:09:57,638 --> 00:09:59,305
Yeah, we're breaking him
like a show pony.
223
00:09:59,306 --> 00:10:01,441
Don't pull any punches on
the hard-hitting journalism.
224
00:10:01,442 --> 00:10:02,907
Let's get to it.
225
00:10:02,908 --> 00:10:04,609
Don't you think it's strange
that we've never seen
226
00:10:04,610 --> 00:10:07,912
Robert Mueller and El Chapo in
the same place, the same time?
227
00:10:07,913 --> 00:10:10,649
Good point, Sean.
I mean, how can we trust a guy
228
00:10:10,650 --> 00:10:13,985
who, rumor has it,
breast-fed until he was 11?
229
00:10:13,986 --> 00:10:16,955
Yeah, Sean! Who stops
breast-feeding that early?
230
00:10:16,956 --> 00:10:19,790
What about you, Jared?
Doesn't Mueller's very act
231
00:10:19,791 --> 00:10:22,793
of investigating Trump
imply an anti-Trump bias?
232
00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:24,829
You know, actually, according
to legal statute ...
233
00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:26,163
- Ah ... dit, dit, dit, dit!
- Well, duh-duh ...
234
00:10:26,164 --> 00:10:27,665
"Actually, according
to legal statute..."
235
00:10:27,666 --> 00:10:28,999
- Shut up!
- Okay, four-eyes!
236
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,769
Jared, I fucking believe in you,
you fucking idiot.
237
00:10:31,770 --> 00:10:34,572
Yeah! You're our brother because
you have sex with our sister!
238
00:10:34,573 --> 00:10:37,974
Sign in, Jared.
And add friend!
239
00:10:37,975 --> 00:10:41,778
Another Trump?!
This is the happiest day of my life
240
00:10:41,779 --> 00:10:44,414
since everybody else here
got fired for cause
241
00:10:44,415 --> 00:10:46,416
and I became the
last best white guy.
242
00:10:46,417 --> 00:10:47,984
Come on, Jared!
243
00:10:47,985 --> 00:10:50,152
I didn't tape your foreskin
back on for nothing.
244
00:10:50,153 --> 00:10:53,522
All right. Fine.
U-Uh, Robert Mueller is a ...
245
00:10:53,523 --> 00:10:56,458
a Muslim Mexican
sponsored by the deep state
246
00:10:56,459 --> 00:11:01,395
to convert Americans into...
transgendered... bathrooms?
247
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:03,599
- Whoo! There it is!
- Yeah! Awesome, Jared!
248
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,467
That's how you play ball, Jared!
249
00:11:05,468 --> 00:11:08,637
Tonight, my website is
offering you free shipping.
250
00:11:08,638 --> 00:11:11,138
Jared, throw your buddy
that promo code.
251
00:11:11,139 --> 00:11:13,173
I need a flirty look for spring.
252
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:17,909
The time has come, Mr. President.
253
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,443
Your flock awaits.
254
00:11:19,444 --> 00:11:21,078
- Ted Cruuuuz!
- Aaaah!
255
00:11:21,079 --> 00:11:23,080
This event's a great opportunity
256
00:11:23,081 --> 00:11:25,816
for me to show my piety to the Lord!
257
00:11:25,817 --> 00:11:27,784
But mostly to convince Texans
258
00:11:27,785 --> 00:11:30,486
to catatonically keep me in the Senate.
259
00:11:30,487 --> 00:11:34,357
Donald, fellowship with the
eternal is an intimate act,
260
00:11:34,358 --> 00:11:38,695
and you should never feel the
need to show off in any way.
261
00:11:41,098 --> 00:11:43,767
...sanctified in the name of Christ!
262
00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:53,125
Brothers and sisters,
263
00:11:53,126 --> 00:11:55,110
I once was in the gutter,
264
00:11:55,111 --> 00:11:58,313
stricken with countless
eradicated diseases.
265
00:11:58,314 --> 00:12:00,182
Then one day, a man
266
00:12:00,183 --> 00:12:03,785
by the name of the Reverend
Dr. Donald J. Trump,
267
00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:06,788
hallelujah,
grabbed me by my thong!
268
00:12:06,789 --> 00:12:09,824
Hallelujah!
And wedgied me into the light!
269
00:12:09,825 --> 00:12:13,962
He has saved us! Hallelujah!
Ted Cruz!
270
00:12:17,132 --> 00:12:19,967
Don't believe the dishonest media.
271
00:12:19,968 --> 00:12:22,469
I would never cut off God's penis.
272
00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:27,540
Unless God begged me like,
"Please, son! Slice off my dong!"
273
00:12:27,541 --> 00:12:29,142
Trump! Trump! Trump!
274
00:12:29,143 --> 00:12:31,411
Trump! Trump! Trump!
275
00:12:31,412 --> 00:12:32,846
They love me.
276
00:12:32,847 --> 00:12:35,982
I'm like Jesus, only with
twice as many prostitutes.
277
00:12:35,983 --> 00:12:37,583
- Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
- Kumbaya!
278
00:12:37,584 --> 00:12:39,384
Freedom! Liberty!
279
00:12:41,787 --> 00:12:45,591
Jared, I'm so excited
for your bro mitzvah.
280
00:12:45,592 --> 00:12:48,728
If your hair stays slicked back,
then you are officially a Trump
281
00:12:48,729 --> 00:12:50,096
and we can, like, hang and shit.
282
00:12:50,097 --> 00:12:52,364
But if your hair does not stay in place,
283
00:12:52,365 --> 00:12:55,266
then you go back to your
old life as a punk bitch.
284
00:12:55,267 --> 00:12:57,568
Come on, hair.
285
00:12:57,569 --> 00:13:00,204
Make sure
it gets to the root, Eric.
286
00:13:00,205 --> 00:13:01,506
Come on.
287
00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:05,910
- Yeah!
- Fuck you, Jared!
288
00:13:05,911 --> 00:13:07,211
- It stayed!
- Jared, you did it!
289
00:13:07,212 --> 00:13:09,447
You're not a friendless loser anymore!
290
00:13:09,548 --> 00:13:11,682
Religion is amazing.
291
00:13:11,683 --> 00:13:13,517
I was only gonna be
president for life,
292
00:13:13,518 --> 00:13:16,053
but now I'll soon be
savior for eternity!
293
00:13:16,054 --> 00:13:18,789
I'm glad the Lord brought you
a lasting peace in your heart.
294
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:21,425
What are you talking
about? I haven't heard
295
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:24,061
someone deify me in hours,
and I'm getting antsy.
296
00:13:24,062 --> 00:13:26,429
We could enshrine my humble
Christlike vision
297
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,031
for this nation into eternal law?
298
00:13:28,032 --> 00:13:30,700
Done. Get me some blank
executive orders.
299
00:13:30,701 --> 00:13:32,635
Make sure they have
my new address on them.
300
00:13:34,872 --> 00:13:37,306
Jared, it's our prenuptially
obligated date night,
301
00:13:37,307 --> 00:13:39,075
but something feels hashtag different.
302
00:13:39,076 --> 00:13:40,910
Yeah, it does.
I'm pretty fly now, huh?
303
00:13:40,911 --> 00:13:42,611
You know, I just got
the bathroom attendant fired
304
00:13:42,612 --> 00:13:44,245
for not having any boysenberry Altoids.
305
00:13:44,246 --> 00:13:46,748
- Hey-yo!
- 'Sup, lesbos?
306
00:13:46,749 --> 00:13:48,283
Jared, what are my
brothers doing here?
307
00:13:48,284 --> 00:13:50,385
Babe, if there's gonna
be soosh in my boosh,
308
00:13:50,386 --> 00:13:53,989
it's my fedoosh
doot to dish it with my dudes!
309
00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:55,757
- How am I doing?
- Uh, what the fuck?
310
00:13:55,758 --> 00:13:57,926
I love you.
That was art!
311
00:13:57,927 --> 00:14:00,128
Hello?! Jared?
Date night!
312
00:14:00,129 --> 00:14:01,996
Change of plans, babe.
The boys are here.
313
00:14:01,997 --> 00:14:04,498
Fine.
I'm clicking to unsubscribe.
314
00:14:04,499 --> 00:14:07,134
And I'm not giving feedback.
315
00:14:07,135 --> 00:14:11,706
Whoo-hoo! Date night!
I'll have the rock shrimp tempura!
316
00:14:11,707 --> 00:14:16,210
Today, I've signed this stack
of executive orders
317
00:14:16,211 --> 00:14:20,046
to mold our country
into Christ's beautiful image.
318
00:14:20,047 --> 00:14:21,881
That guy knew
how to keep in shape.
319
00:14:21,882 --> 00:14:24,907
Effective immediately,
no federal funds will
320
00:14:24,942 --> 00:14:26,652
- go to Planned Parenthood.
- Love it.
321
00:14:26,653 --> 00:14:29,388
Bakeries may deny service
to men with torn jeans.
322
00:14:29,389 --> 00:14:32,559
- Amen.
- People who make eye contact
323
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,060
with the camera on their ATM
324
00:14:34,061 --> 00:14:36,829
- will be investigated for prostitution.
- Great.
325
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:39,631
And death is recommended
for the following crimes ...
326
00:14:39,632 --> 00:14:41,299
- women pumping their own gas...
- Unnatural.
327
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:43,135
- ...eating meals out of order...
- Sure.
328
00:14:43,136 --> 00:14:46,205
- ...and divorce.
- Wait. What was that last one?
329
00:14:46,206 --> 00:14:47,973
Trump's new
fundamentalist policies
330
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,008
have raised the ire of the nation,
331
00:14:50,009 --> 00:14:51,743
as Democrats fight back with an emoji
332
00:14:51,744 --> 00:14:53,544
of God giving a thumbs down.
333
00:14:53,545 --> 00:14:55,880
What ha... Who can...
334
00:14:55,881 --> 00:14:58,515
Hard ... You know, I ...
You can ...
335
00:14:58,516 --> 00:15:00,417
Wow.
336
00:15:00,418 --> 00:15:02,754
And now it's time for
Lawrence O'Donnell.
337
00:15:02,755 --> 00:15:05,589
And I love that mandate
requiring every public park
338
00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:08,825
to have an 80-foot animatronic
Jesus scissor-kicking the devil!
339
00:15:08,826 --> 00:15:11,394
Oh, that Jesus thinks he's so great.
340
00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:13,830
Oh, right ...
I'm into Jesus now.
341
00:15:13,831 --> 00:15:15,999
What did you do, Donald?
I had to cancel my
342
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,835
half-birthday orgy thanks
to your stupid new policies.
343
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,371
What am I supposed to do with
all those pentagram necklaces now?
344
00:15:21,372 --> 00:15:23,339
Maybe it's time you
started living your life
345
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,408
according to God's principles, Nooch.
346
00:15:25,409 --> 00:15:27,943
I made that the law of the land.
347
00:15:27,944 --> 00:15:29,945
And now my people
can't get enough of me.
348
00:15:29,946 --> 00:15:33,082
Are you kidding me?
Money is the root of all evil,
349
00:15:33,083 --> 00:15:35,550
and I got a big root,
and I rub it on my money.
350
00:15:35,551 --> 00:15:37,977
That's a direct quote from you!
351
00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:42,024
J-Dawg, you okay?
352
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,192
Did you just find out
the Lexus 2018 LS
353
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:47,262
- doesn't come sunroof optional?
- It's Ivanka.
354
00:15:47,263 --> 00:15:50,131
She's not really, uh,
favoriting the new Jared.
355
00:15:50,132 --> 00:15:53,701
You don't need her, man!
Me and Don are like two Ivankas,
356
00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,636
except we're not allowed
to go swimming.
357
00:15:55,637 --> 00:15:57,638
In fact, let's have
a toast to your freedom.
358
00:15:57,639 --> 00:16:00,140
- Bartender, bring us 300 shots!
- Jesus!
359
00:16:00,141 --> 00:16:01,942
Don't you guys ever want a night in
360
00:16:01,943 --> 00:16:05,312
or, you know, to spend time
with your children?
361
00:16:05,313 --> 00:16:07,414
Nah, dude. My dad didn't
spend any time with me,
362
00:16:07,415 --> 00:16:08,816
and I turned out great.
363
00:16:08,817 --> 00:16:12,319
What the hell, bartender?!
Why are you ignoring me?!
364
00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:14,221
Why don't you like me?!
365
00:16:14,222 --> 00:16:18,090
Please just give me a hug, bartender!
366
00:16:18,391 --> 00:16:20,459
Screw Mnuchin.
367
00:16:20,460 --> 00:16:23,629
Embracing Christianity gave me
something even better ...
368
00:16:23,630 --> 00:16:26,065
the tender devotion of millions.
369
00:16:26,066 --> 00:16:28,251
So, when do we go visit the
people who scream my name
370
00:16:28,355 --> 00:16:31,670
- so hard, they throw up?
- Oh, today's just a quiet Bible study.
371
00:16:31,671 --> 00:16:33,072
Most of religion is just reading
372
00:16:33,073 --> 00:16:34,906
and then talking about the reading.
373
00:16:34,907 --> 00:16:36,842
And then repenting for reading.
374
00:16:36,843 --> 00:16:39,510
Let us open with a prayer.
Ben?
375
00:16:39,511 --> 00:16:43,315
Dear God, you're the tallest
being in all the land.
376
00:16:43,316 --> 00:16:46,584
You could probably
wink at airline pilots
377
00:16:46,585 --> 00:16:51,655
as if to say, "That's
some quality flying." Amen.
378
00:16:51,656 --> 00:16:53,523
Now do we talk about me?
379
00:16:53,524 --> 00:16:56,626
Religion isn't about
glorifying yourself, silly.
380
00:16:56,627 --> 00:16:59,129
It's about making yourself so small
381
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:02,867
that you can snuggle up for
a nap in the Lord's pocket!
382
00:17:02,868 --> 00:17:05,202
Some might say this is
the only 45 minutes a week
383
00:17:05,203 --> 00:17:06,803
where we don't talk about you.
384
00:17:06,804 --> 00:17:09,372
Then what the hell do you
talk about? Carl Icahn?
385
00:17:09,373 --> 00:17:12,508
Feels like this J.C. sesh
is getting tense.
386
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:15,044
So let me just say,
Mr. President, I love you.
387
00:17:15,045 --> 00:17:16,679
W-W-What are you talking about?
388
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:20,149
God rewards displays of
vulnerability and intimacy.
389
00:17:20,150 --> 00:17:22,118
- Everyone, join in.
- I love your soul.
390
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:25,387
- Our eternal love will never die.
- We are united as one with the Lord!
391
00:17:25,388 --> 00:17:27,956
His is the light
that shines through us all.
392
00:17:27,957 --> 00:17:30,292
Let us anoint
ourselves in oil and embrace.
393
00:17:30,293 --> 00:17:32,627
Cradle us in your bosom.
394
00:17:40,703 --> 00:17:42,503
And the streets will run red
395
00:17:42,504 --> 00:17:45,072
with their HPV-infected blood.
396
00:17:45,073 --> 00:17:46,673
So, happy Easter.
397
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:49,310
Now I'd like to invite up
the most God-fearing president
398
00:17:49,311 --> 00:17:52,813
this country has ever known ...
Donald J. Trump!
399
00:17:52,814 --> 00:17:55,716
Ugh! Wow!
What a service, folks.
400
00:17:55,717 --> 00:17:58,519
It's so much better than
being in the Palladium Club
401
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,687
watching Roy Cohn do blow off
every inch of Ed Koch.
402
00:18:01,688 --> 00:18:05,658
Anyway, open your stupid Bibles
and turn to the Jesus part.
403
00:18:07,028 --> 00:18:09,829
Why have you
forsaken me, Donald?!
404
00:18:09,830 --> 00:18:11,064
Who are you?!
405
00:18:11,065 --> 00:18:15,068
I am your true Lord and Savior ...
a golf cart.
406
00:18:15,069 --> 00:18:17,869
How dare you worship Christian idols!
407
00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:20,906
Right now you could be
on your 39th hole,
408
00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:23,842
trying to ride me over a baby alligator.
409
00:18:23,843 --> 00:18:25,344
God, that sounds so fun.
410
00:18:25,345 --> 00:18:27,279
No! Go away, devil!
411
00:18:34,786 --> 00:18:38,655
I was... just talking to my golf cart.
412
00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:41,259
What's it sayin'?
413
00:18:41,460 --> 00:18:44,429
Jared!
I'm worried about you!
414
00:18:44,430 --> 00:18:46,597
You got so drunk,
you missed Shabbat.
415
00:18:46,598 --> 00:18:49,033
You were flipping light
switches like it was a Tuesday.
416
00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:51,101
Yeah, I thought you
wanted me to have friends.
417
00:18:51,102 --> 00:18:54,104
Right now, my only option is
spending nights with your brothers,
418
00:18:54,105 --> 00:18:55,905
drunkenly changing White House
computer home pages
419
00:18:55,906 --> 00:18:57,540
to porn-dot websites.
420
00:18:57,541 --> 00:19:00,110
There's a reason I chose
not to marry my brothers.
421
00:19:00,111 --> 00:19:02,912
I miss my sweet, lonely Jared.
422
00:19:02,913 --> 00:19:04,554
Preferences, privacy, advanced,
423
00:19:04,555 --> 00:19:07,549
clear cache and cookies.
Apply all!
424
00:19:09,419 --> 00:19:11,454
Hey, Dad,
do you know where Jared is?
425
00:19:11,455 --> 00:19:13,722
We haven't seen him since
his 30th shot last night.
426
00:19:13,723 --> 00:19:16,058
I haven't, but sometimes
I catch him crying
427
00:19:16,059 --> 00:19:18,660
- in the janitor's closet.
- Oh, great. We'll check there.
428
00:19:18,661 --> 00:19:21,464
Wait. Do you boys
want to hang out?
429
00:19:21,465 --> 00:19:23,732
Dad, I'm not gonna lie.
I've dreamt of you
430
00:19:23,733 --> 00:19:27,002
saying those words to me
literally my whole, entire life.
431
00:19:27,003 --> 00:19:29,137
But you're kind of a
lame-ass church dork now,
432
00:19:29,138 --> 00:19:31,139
so it didn't really live up to the hype.
433
00:19:31,140 --> 00:19:33,108
Why don't you just
throw out the Christ quilt
434
00:19:33,109 --> 00:19:35,743
- and get your sac back?
- I can't.
435
00:19:35,744 --> 00:19:37,078
If I lose those Christians,
436
00:19:37,079 --> 00:19:39,680
I'll lose their love
and this awful job I hate!
437
00:19:39,681 --> 00:19:41,781
♪ Three white people on a couch ♪
438
00:19:41,782 --> 00:19:44,851
- # It's "Fox & Friends" #
- Blessed Easter, everybody!
439
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,287
We're celebrating by
counting down President Trump's
440
00:19:47,288 --> 00:19:49,656
top 10 most Christlike moments.
441
00:19:49,657 --> 00:19:52,192
Number five, imposing
worship requirements
442
00:19:52,193 --> 00:19:54,461
on our nation's Medicaid recipients.
443
00:19:54,462 --> 00:19:57,031
And later, the White House
Easter Egg Roll,
444
00:19:57,032 --> 00:19:58,764
which the President has promised
445
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:02,268
to be the most confrontationally
Christian in history!
446
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:04,837
Welcome, children-sized humans,
447
00:20:04,838 --> 00:20:06,539
to the White House Easter Egg Roll.
448
00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,607
And now my favorite Bible story.
449
00:20:08,608 --> 00:20:12,478
Elijah was going to Bethel,
and some children taunted him.
450
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,880
"Go away, bald head!"
Elijah cursed them.
451
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,015
Two bears charged
out of the underbrush
452
00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:21,885
and ripped them limb from limb!
42 children in all!
453
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:27,225
Oh, great. This again.
454
00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:30,295
- Oh! Yeah!
- Come on, Tillerson.
455
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,396
- Where are the eggs?
- Oh, man!
456
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:34,731
Jared. Quick ... punch
this bunny in the dong.
457
00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:37,301
I need both my hands
to record it on my phone.
458
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,470
Look. It's been fun
and pretty harrowing.
459
00:20:39,471 --> 00:20:42,473
But I just don't think I'm Trumpy
enough to hang with you guys.
460
00:20:42,474 --> 00:20:45,176
I-I promise I'll learn
to ride a bike soon!
461
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:48,579
- A-And then we can go on day trips!
- Don't bother, Eric.
462
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,913
Jared's exactly who we
always suspected he was ...
463
00:20:50,914 --> 00:20:53,216
a spoiled child of a disgraced
real-estate mogul
464
00:20:53,217 --> 00:20:55,685
with a total lack
of self-awareness.
465
00:20:55,686 --> 00:20:58,321
Sorry, babe. I know you
wanted me to have friends.
466
00:20:58,322 --> 00:21:00,390
You know, Jared, there's one thing
467
00:21:00,391 --> 00:21:05,428
my brothers value more than
themselves. Click to continue?
468
00:21:05,429 --> 00:21:09,731
I want to die.
Rex Tillerson wants to die.
469
00:21:09,932 --> 00:21:13,702
Yo, Pence, Daddy, I'm sick
of this religion crap!
470
00:21:13,703 --> 00:21:16,071
I want to go back to betting
on celebrity nipple sizes
471
00:21:16,072 --> 00:21:17,672
without the risk of stoning.
472
00:21:17,673 --> 00:21:19,874
So let's figure this shit out
once and for all.
473
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:23,344
Which is the true religion ...
Christianity or Trumpianity?
474
00:21:23,345 --> 00:21:26,080
The Easter egg roll to end
all Easter egg rolls.
475
00:21:26,081 --> 00:21:29,917
If Christianity is the true religion,
Jesus will help Mike Pence win.
476
00:21:29,918 --> 00:21:32,520
But if it's Trumpianity ...
which it is ...
477
00:21:32,521 --> 00:21:35,923
- then my dad will help himself win.
- Are you in, Pence?
478
00:21:35,924 --> 00:21:39,127
Or are you scared your buddy
Jesus' free ride is over?
479
00:21:39,128 --> 00:21:41,794
I believe all competition
is a prideful sin.
480
00:21:41,795 --> 00:21:44,631
But when God presents me
with a trial, I must obey.
481
00:21:44,632 --> 00:21:47,498
Get all those kids out of here!
This could get ugly!
482
00:21:48,236 --> 00:21:50,903
Please, God, guide my egg
straight and true.
483
00:21:50,904 --> 00:21:54,073
Please, egg, don't tempt me
into eating you.
484
00:21:54,074 --> 00:21:56,109
Drei, zwei, eins!
485
00:21:56,110 --> 00:21:57,443
Go!
486
00:21:58,578 --> 00:22:01,913
N-o-o-o-o-o!
487
00:22:07,287 --> 00:22:09,288
- God?
- Yes, my son.
488
00:22:09,289 --> 00:22:10,889
This game is not about winning.
489
00:22:10,890 --> 00:22:13,792
It is about putting your faith
in the power of Jesus ...
490
00:22:13,793 --> 00:22:16,461
- Aaaah!
- Winning proves your worth!
491
00:22:16,462 --> 00:22:18,062
Do what you would do!
492
00:22:18,063 --> 00:22:20,265
Go smash that loser's egg!
493
00:22:20,266 --> 00:22:24,402
I can't cheat. My supporters
want a moral man.
494
00:22:24,403 --> 00:22:27,004
They don't need you
to be moral, Donald.
495
00:22:27,005 --> 00:22:29,740
They just need you to appoint judges
496
00:22:29,741 --> 00:22:33,777
that pose with machine guns
in their Facebook photos.
497
00:22:33,778 --> 00:22:35,944
But how am I going to get up?
498
00:22:36,347 --> 00:22:39,416
- You might need God for that one.
- No chance, asshole!
499
00:22:41,286 --> 00:22:45,088
Eeeeehhyyaa!
500
00:22:45,089 --> 00:22:47,791
Thanks, Jared. I'll take
the credit from here.
501
00:22:50,927 --> 00:22:53,095
I win! Yeah, baby!
502
00:22:53,096 --> 00:22:55,964
Who's the winner?
I am! Ha ha!
503
00:22:55,965 --> 00:22:58,133
- Whoo-hoo!
- Ah-oo! Yeah! Awesome!
504
00:23:01,305 --> 00:23:04,787
- Looks like you're a Trump after all.
- Rule numero uno ...
505
00:23:04,822 --> 00:23:06,941
make the dad
look good no matter what.
506
00:23:06,942 --> 00:23:08,310
Hey, we're gonna go dress up like
507
00:23:08,311 --> 00:23:11,145
super-realistic Arab dudes
and scare McMaster.
508
00:23:11,146 --> 00:23:13,682
- Are you coming?
- I can't keep up with you guys.
509
00:23:13,683 --> 00:23:15,350
Whenever it's time for your dad
to pardon family members,
510
00:23:15,351 --> 00:23:17,485
I am definitely a Trump.
511
00:23:17,486 --> 00:23:19,554
But until then,
I'm just gonna be Jared.
512
00:23:19,555 --> 00:23:23,691
You may not be our bro, but you're
definitely our brother-in-law.
513
00:23:23,692 --> 00:23:27,328
You know, folks,
I have to stop living like Jesus
514
00:23:27,329 --> 00:23:29,830
and go back to living like God ...
515
00:23:29,831 --> 00:23:32,999
lashing out in anger,
no matter how many people drown.
516
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,736
That's why certain countries
have monsoon season.
517
00:23:35,737 --> 00:23:37,904
You people made me out
to be a Christ figure,
518
00:23:37,905 --> 00:23:39,972
but I'm more like
the opposite of Christ.
519
00:23:39,973 --> 00:23:42,742
You can call me, I don't know,
the anti-Christ.
520
00:23:42,743 --> 00:23:44,644
Oh, oh.
I like the sound of that.
521
00:23:44,645 --> 00:23:46,512
Happy Easter, kids!
522
00:23:46,513 --> 00:23:48,681
I don't know what got into me.
523
00:23:48,682 --> 00:23:50,516
I thought I was helping our country
524
00:23:50,517 --> 00:23:53,853
by bringing you closer to God.
But it turns out,
525
00:23:53,854 --> 00:23:56,255
that just makes it easier
for you to kill him.
526
00:23:56,256 --> 00:23:58,056
No kidding.
Why don't we discuss it
527
00:23:58,057 --> 00:24:00,259
over some stolen Easter candy?
528
00:24:00,260 --> 00:24:03,995
- Why steal it? You're a rich man.
- How do you think I got so rich?
529
00:24:03,996 --> 00:24:08,173
Oh, wow. Now I see you
through a glass, darkly.
530
00:24:08,174 --> 00:24:12,744
♪ Donald Trump is the president ♪
531
00:24:12,745 --> 00:24:16,414
♪ Donald Trump
is the president ♪
532
00:24:16,415 --> 00:24:18,749
♪ Is Donald Trump the president? ♪
533
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:20,251
♪ Yes, he is ♪
534
00:24:20,252 --> 00:24:23,421
♪ Yes, he is,
we elected him president ♪
535
00:24:23,422 --> 00:24:26,023
♪ Is Donald Trump the president? ♪
536
00:24:26,024 --> 00:24:27,592
♪ Yes, he is ♪
537
00:24:27,593 --> 00:24:30,560
♪ We had a vote
and elected him president ♪
538
00:24:30,561 --> 00:24:36,064
♪ Donald Trump is the president ♪
539
00:24:37,535 --> 00:24:39,202
♪ Donald Trump ♪
540
00:24:39,203 --> 00:24:42,872
♪ He is our president ♪
541
00:24:42,873 --> 00:24:46,042
♪ We made him president ♪
542
00:24:46,043 --> 00:24:48,410
♪ We did it ♪
543
00:24:48,411 --> 00:24:52,314
♪ Donald Trump is the president ♪
544
00:24:52,315 --> 00:24:55,417
♪ We elected Donald Trump ♪
545
00:24:55,418 --> 00:24:59,155
♪ Donald Trump is the president ♪
546
00:24:59,156 --> 00:25:02,724
♪ Donald Trump
is the president ♪
547
00:25:02,725 --> 00:25:05,826
♪ Yeah ♪
548
00:25:06,082 --> 00:25:07,689
Trump!
549
00:25:08,452 --> 00:25:12,977
sync & correction by f1nc0
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