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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,060 Oh, Christ. 2 00:00:41,593 --> 00:00:43,893 - Hello? - Hi! 3 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,840 Sorry to keep you waiting. I was by the pool. 4 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,000 - How was your journey? - Oh, fine. 5 00:00:50,061 --> 00:00:52,035 Bit of trouble on the M25, but... 6 00:00:52,096 --> 00:00:54,860 I was wondering where you'd got to, as I was sitting by the pool. 7 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:57,420 Oh, sorry, Jason texted Derek to let him know. 8 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,460 No, it's fine. 9 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,694 I was just worried about you, as I was sitting by the pool. 10 00:01:02,402 --> 00:01:03,602 Oh. 11 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,339 It's got a pool. 12 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,585 Right. 13 00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:11,158 Oh, sorry, love. Come on. 14 00:01:12,945 --> 00:01:14,403 Hello. 15 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:18,100 - It's amazing. - Yeah, this is incredible. 16 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,820 Thanks for inviting us, Pauline. 17 00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:22,140 Well, it's just got the three reception rooms 18 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:25,700 and the one swimming pool and the 4.5 acres of grounds, but... 19 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:26,980 it'll do! 20 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,455 This way. 21 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,806 Gravel. 22 00:01:31,386 --> 00:01:32,586 Yeah. 23 00:01:35,013 --> 00:01:36,553 Welcome. 24 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:38,500 Oh! 25 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,960 - Here's the birthday boy. - Here she is. Big sis! 26 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:46,320 Welcome to our little home for the week. 27 00:01:46,381 --> 00:01:47,710 Shoes. 28 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,620 Yep. 29 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:52,540 Wow, look at this place! 30 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,100 Shoes. 31 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,691 Yes. Not a bad life, just been sitting by a roaring fire 32 00:01:57,752 --> 00:02:00,192 and reading a newspaper. 33 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,140 Champagne, everyone? 34 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,096 Oh, wow. Uh, yeah. 35 00:02:05,157 --> 00:02:07,100 - Go on, then. - Yeah. 36 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:08,888 We've just got the 96 bottles. 37 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,540 Shall we use the plain flutes or the crystal? 38 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,340 I hate having to choose. 39 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,775 Well, I won't be having any champagne, so... 40 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,755 - I'm on antibiotics, aren't I? - Yeah. 41 00:02:22,816 --> 00:02:24,076 Are you, love? 42 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:25,540 Yeah. 43 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:28,220 I'm on antibiotics, which means I can't drink alcohol. 44 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,980 And also, I'm always tired and I can't lift anything. 45 00:02:32,227 --> 00:02:33,740 And in the mornings, I'm sick. 46 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,100 And for the rest of the day, 47 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,860 I have to keep eating and drinking water or I just keep being sick. 48 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:42,280 - And you're a little bit teary, aren't you? - Yeah. 49 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,238 Just a little bit, but I... 50 00:02:46,793 --> 00:02:48,557 Let's not talk about it. 51 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,620 They're really strong antibiotics. 52 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,380 - Shall we... - Yes. 53 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:59,168 Well, if you'd like to come this way, we'll begin the tour. 54 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,700 Oh, this hallway is nearly as big as my house. 55 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,233 Yes, but it feels bigger. 56 00:03:05,339 --> 00:03:07,059 Should you be carrying that? 57 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,491 This is the dining room. 58 00:03:11,882 --> 00:03:14,139 Oh, yeah, it's lovely. 59 00:03:14,386 --> 00:03:15,740 - Oh. - Don't. 60 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,380 Oh, wow, babe. 61 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,940 Look at the bottle. 62 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,420 That's not a bottle, babe. That's a decanter. 63 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,060 Piano, obviously. 64 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,375 Very nice. 65 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:26,809 You can play the piano, can't you? 66 00:03:28,421 --> 00:03:30,296 It's pronounced pi-ah-no. 67 00:03:30,372 --> 00:03:31,860 This is quite a good space 68 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:35,808 if you want to read a broad sheet or check the Ftse 100 index. 69 00:03:35,869 --> 00:03:37,790 Well, that's good to know. 70 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:43,060 65 inches, 4k, surround sound, Wi-Fi, Sky plus, 71 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:46,032 and if you ask it nicely, it'll make you a latte. 72 00:03:46,093 --> 00:03:47,073 Ha. 73 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,180 And if you're nice to the telly, it'll make you... 74 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:50,724 - I've done it. - Right. 75 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,166 The kitchen. It's got an island. 76 00:03:54,474 --> 00:03:56,300 Bay window. 77 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,037 Hand spray pull-out rinse. 78 00:04:02,917 --> 00:04:03,861 Wow. 79 00:04:04,130 --> 00:04:05,510 Yes. 80 00:04:05,571 --> 00:04:08,577 - Oh, wow. - Bloody hell! 81 00:04:08,671 --> 00:04:12,612 It's just got the two dishwashers, ice machine, larder through there. 82 00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:16,317 I don't suppose you've ever had a larder, have you, Cathy? 83 00:04:17,266 --> 00:04:18,286 No. 84 00:04:18,347 --> 00:04:19,549 No. 85 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,020 Well, I don't know about you guys, 86 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:24,260 - but I'm going to have a dip in the pool. - Oh, my God. 87 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,900 Derek will help you with your luggage 88 00:04:25,960 --> 00:04:27,986 and once I've dried off, I'll accompany you to your rooms. 89 00:04:28,047 --> 00:04:30,547 - Thanks, Pauline. - Thanks, Pauline! 90 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,340 Oh, it's... It's really lovely, Pauline. 91 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,461 Thanks so much for inviting us. 92 00:04:36,011 --> 00:04:37,211 It's quite all right. 93 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,466 I love a swimming pool in the spring. 94 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:52,580 So fresh! 95 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,840 Lovely and fresh. 96 00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:58,900 I'll go in later. 97 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,277 Good idea. 98 00:05:37,227 --> 00:05:41,827 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 99 00:05:55,633 --> 00:06:00,199 _ 100 00:06:01,818 --> 00:06:03,989 - Hello? - Michael! 101 00:06:05,069 --> 00:06:06,380 I'm in here, mate. 102 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,700 Sorry, just turn this off. 103 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:11,020 I've been listening to, er... 104 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,540 Radio 4. 105 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,828 Oh, OK. 106 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,384 It's a radio station, but they don't play music and you can't phone in. 107 00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,575 Yeah. I have it on in the car. 108 00:06:21,239 --> 00:06:22,439 I can see that. 109 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,900 - Thanks for coming. - Thanks for inviting me. 110 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,240 - It's quite a house. - Yeah. 111 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,300 So, you'll be residing in Chestnut, Cathy. 112 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,260 It's not one of the premier rooms, but 113 00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,200 don't worry, it's very you. 114 00:06:49,355 --> 00:06:50,755 Aw! 115 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,055 A little bed for a little Cathy. 116 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,506 Thanks, that's really thoughtful. 117 00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:58,416 Will you actually fit in that? 118 00:06:58,838 --> 00:07:00,187 Just about. 119 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,700 Aw, that's so cute. 120 00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,100 She's such a tiny person. 121 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:07,243 Only things to point out are, don't touch the Lego. 122 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:08,860 I won't. 123 00:07:09,395 --> 00:07:10,595 Promise? 124 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:14,859 - Yeah. - No smoking indoors, and... 125 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,125 - swan. - Oh, yeah. Wow. 126 00:07:19,058 --> 00:07:20,332 Never seen that before. 127 00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:22,439 Thought not. 128 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:24,695 If you'd like to follow me. 129 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,700 There's a room down here we're keeping for a party 130 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:32,206 on Saturday, so you'll be residing down in the South wing. 131 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,348 - Oh, my God. - Welcome to your room. 132 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:39,220 It's got en en-suite. 133 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,480 I'll be next door, so just give me a shout. 134 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,280 Thanks, Pauline! 135 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:53,320 - That's a nice one. - Show me. 136 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,345 - It's a nice one, isn't it? - Yeah, it is a nice one. 137 00:08:06,617 --> 00:08:07,837 It's unbelievable. 138 00:08:07,898 --> 00:08:09,899 - And that's just setting one. - Jesus. 139 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:12,039 Whereas, if you really to fuck something up... 140 00:08:15,779 --> 00:08:17,960 - Oh, my God. - It's vicious! 141 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,400 - Oh, I bet it makes a lovely dough. - What's that? 142 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,180 - I bet it makes a lovely dough. - Oh, yeah, mate. Springy as fuck. 143 00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,656 Right. 144 00:08:29,939 --> 00:08:31,139 Here it is. 145 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,082 Just a small diamond. 146 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,282 - You going to do it, then? - Yeah. 147 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,316 Cost me 8,900. 148 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,359 Deary me. Why are you spending 8,900 on a ring? 149 00:08:56,294 --> 00:08:58,138 That's how much it cost. 150 00:08:58,708 --> 00:09:01,324 - Look at the en-suite, babe. - Is there anything we can nick? 151 00:09:01,385 --> 00:09:02,900 Power shower. 152 00:09:03,178 --> 00:09:05,480 - Is it big enough? - Erm... 153 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:16,244 - That feels all right. - Little bit tight, maybe, but... 154 00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,180 No, it's all right. 155 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:19,821 What about when you wash your bum? 156 00:09:19,882 --> 00:09:21,162 Erm... 157 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,191 - Good for you? - Yeah, good for me. 158 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,817 - Good for you? - Yeah. 159 00:09:32,731 --> 00:09:34,051 Teeth? 160 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,193 Yeah, teeth should be all right. 161 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:38,960 Erm... 162 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,371 You know you don't have to wash your bum like that. 163 00:09:48,515 --> 00:09:50,460 I want to wash my bum like that. 164 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:55,422 That's quite a chandelier. 165 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,699 Yeah, I was thinking I might nick it and put it in my house. 166 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,960 It would fit right in. 167 00:10:02,989 --> 00:10:05,145 What do you think of my bedroom? 168 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,760 Oh, an astronaut. 169 00:10:12,672 --> 00:10:14,360 You do love astronauts. 170 00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:17,682 Yeah, I'm going to be one when I grow up. 171 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:20,060 But do you know what I love more than astronauts? 172 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,400 Lego? 173 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:28,684 Oh, that excites me in a way no furniture should. 174 00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:31,777 And a tiny, single bed. 175 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,639 I did ask for a matchbox, but this was all they had. 176 00:10:37,243 --> 00:10:38,443 I... 177 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,516 Oh. Yeah, thanks. 178 00:10:44,164 --> 00:10:45,424 And... 179 00:10:46,475 --> 00:10:48,060 Oh. Yep. 180 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,300 Was all a bit of a rush this morning, wasn't it? 181 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:51,644 Yeah. 182 00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,316 Did you get home before Jason got there? 183 00:10:54,377 --> 00:10:55,577 Yeah, yeah. 184 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,223 No, it was, um... 185 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,928 It was nice. 186 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,860 I mean, the film was bollocks, but... 187 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:08,973 - Yeah, they always are. - It's... 188 00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,020 nice to go to the cinema. 189 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,005 Yeah. And then... 190 00:11:14,186 --> 00:11:15,386 Yeah. 191 00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:18,935 - Afterwards. - Yeah. 192 00:11:21,282 --> 00:11:24,740 Yeah, no, we should probably do it again at some point. 193 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,092 Oh, God, yeah. 194 00:11:26,635 --> 00:11:28,715 Consider that your free trial. 195 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,460 Now I'm on permanent standby. 196 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:36,060 Anything you want to do, no matter how depraved... 197 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,020 Oh, my God... 198 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,440 I don't want Jason to... 199 00:11:40,209 --> 00:11:42,211 Oh, no, of course not. 200 00:11:42,532 --> 00:11:43,940 I'll, um... 201 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,675 I'd better get to my room. 202 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,340 I'm in Willow, apparently. 203 00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:49,060 Oh. Very nice. 204 00:11:49,408 --> 00:11:50,870 My favourite tree. 205 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,406 Tastes delicious. 206 00:11:59,373 --> 00:12:00,760 Hi, Michael. 207 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,419 - Isn't it big? - Yeah, 208 00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,121 just going to go and look for my room. 209 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:09,835 If you don't hear from me in the next hour or so, send out a search party. 210 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,240 Oh. 211 00:12:14,840 --> 00:12:16,300 Wow. 212 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,772 How funny. 213 00:12:18,758 --> 00:12:19,958 Thanks. 214 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,660 Michael just made a funny joke. 215 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,940 Oh, well done, mate. 216 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,340 Yeah. It was really witty. 217 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,140 About a search party. 218 00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:32,780 - Oh, sounds great. - Yeah. 219 00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,020 Thanks, Michael. 220 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,760 We're going to be laughing about that all afternoon. 221 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,602 - Not a bad house, is it, Jason, mate? - Yeah, it's amazing. 222 00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:45,100 I feel like Pauline must have spent a fortune hiring it... 223 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:47,323 Are you coming, Mum? They're doing champagne and nibbles. 224 00:12:47,384 --> 00:12:49,140 Yeah, in a minute. 225 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:51,112 I wonder what the nibbles are going to be. 226 00:12:51,173 --> 00:12:53,173 It's got to be, like, nuts or something. 227 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,131 What was Michael's joke? 228 00:13:33,997 --> 00:13:35,666 You can smell the cows. 229 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,520 Hundreds of them. 230 00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:49,240 - Can you smell the cows? - Take this. 231 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:53,913 - And them. - All I can smell is cows. 232 00:13:54,074 --> 00:13:57,160 Take that, a minute. And that. 233 00:13:58,240 --> 00:13:59,440 Just take them. 234 00:14:00,861 --> 00:14:02,800 What's this doing in here? 235 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,417 I didn't know if they'd have one. 236 00:14:05,560 --> 00:14:09,100 65 inches, 4k, surround sound, Wi-Fi, Sky Plus 237 00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:11,456 - and if you ask it nicely... - Nan and Grandad are here. 238 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:12,755 Oh, great. 239 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,398 - Oh, right, yeah. Well, we should, uh... - What does it do? 240 00:14:16,848 --> 00:14:18,510 Oh, nothing. Doesn't matter. 241 00:14:18,752 --> 00:14:21,101 No, go on. What does it do if you ask it nicely? 242 00:14:21,162 --> 00:14:23,472 No, it doesn't matter, mate. 243 00:14:23,533 --> 00:14:26,178 - It's a, it's a... forget about it. - Oh, go on, please. 244 00:14:28,485 --> 00:14:29,895 It, uh... 245 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,520 it makes you a latte. 246 00:14:38,942 --> 00:14:40,542 That's really funny. 247 00:14:41,644 --> 00:14:42,854 Well, thanks. 248 00:14:43,158 --> 00:14:44,358 Wow. 249 00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,740 - Did you actually find that funny? - Yeah! 250 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,194 Of course, it's hilarious! 251 00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:51,980 OK. 252 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,260 Well, I came up with it yesterday. 253 00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:56,260 The fellow who owns this place was showing us around, 254 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,072 saying what the telly can do and I just came out with it. 255 00:14:58,133 --> 00:14:59,513 - Wow! - Yeah. 256 00:14:59,611 --> 00:15:01,440 I didn't even know I was saying it. 257 00:15:02,647 --> 00:15:05,774 - That's really funny, Derek. - Thanks, Kelly. 258 00:15:05,973 --> 00:15:07,620 Oh, there's a fly now. 259 00:15:07,926 --> 00:15:09,300 Hello, Nan! Grandad! 260 00:15:09,463 --> 00:15:11,500 Hi, Reg. Hi, Maureen. 261 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:14,100 - I'm thirsty. - Oh, dear. 262 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,135 She's had too many Pringles. 263 00:15:16,196 --> 00:15:18,591 I've had too many Pringles, Cathy. 264 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,831 Stupid how many Pringles I've had. 265 00:15:20,892 --> 00:15:22,660 Hello, everyone! 266 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:27,077 - This is Kumar, the owner of the house. - Hello, welcome. 267 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,143 Hello, nice to meet you. 268 00:15:29,204 --> 00:15:31,699 - You've got such a lovely home. - Thank you. 269 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,340 But Kumar and his family are sadly residing 270 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,140 at the back of the house, aren't you? 271 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,500 Yes, just during the rental period. 272 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,860 The kids are away at boarding school, so it's just the two of us. 273 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:43,304 It's not so nice back there, is it? 274 00:15:43,624 --> 00:15:45,300 It's cosy. 275 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,900 But you need the money, don't you? From the rental? 276 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:49,164 Yeah. 277 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,900 - Should I show you the...? - Did I mention the size 278 00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,620 of my divorce settlement? 279 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:54,880 - You did, yes. - Yes. 280 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,391 - I'll show you the barbecue. - Reg. 281 00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,231 Kumar. 282 00:16:02,242 --> 00:16:04,657 - Big, isn't it? - Yeah. 283 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:09,136 - You got Wi-Fi? - We do, yes. 284 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,760 They've got Wi-Fi! 285 00:16:12,465 --> 00:16:13,711 Yeah. 286 00:16:14,466 --> 00:16:15,689 Wi-Fi. 287 00:16:20,358 --> 00:16:21,617 My God. 288 00:16:23,223 --> 00:16:25,420 Was your towel shaped like a swan? 289 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,111 - Yeah. - Yeah? 290 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,215 It's genuinely unbelievable. 291 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:34,281 I've just been getting a latte from the telly! 292 00:16:35,840 --> 00:16:38,940 - How's everything at the flat? - It's good, yeah. 293 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:43,052 There's a leak from our bath going into the flat downstairs, but... 294 00:16:43,113 --> 00:16:45,258 we're pretending it's not, so it should be fine. 295 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:47,680 Right. 296 00:16:50,521 --> 00:16:53,081 I'm OK, I just keep crying for no reason. 297 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,913 How much of it can we eat? 298 00:17:00,053 --> 00:17:02,320 All of it, just help yourselves. 299 00:17:02,498 --> 00:17:04,160 What's wrong with it? 300 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,890 There's nothing wrong with it. 301 00:17:05,951 --> 00:17:09,793 - We just got some food for everyone to share. - Why are you pawning it off on us? 302 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,980 - And how big is the pool? - It's 12m. 303 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:13,500 - 12? - Yeah. 304 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:14,942 Mm. 305 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:18,900 And it's... what? Was it 5.5 acres of land? 306 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,660 Uh, 4.5, yeah. 307 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,048 Oh, 4.5? 308 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:23,893 Ohh. 309 00:17:25,249 --> 00:17:26,449 Oh, OK. 310 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,220 Sorry, I was just leaning on my new car. 311 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,620 - I'll show you where the barbecue is. - If you could. 312 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,782 I meant to say, I was a bit late, because I had to stop for a pee. 313 00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:39,163 Of course I did. 314 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,420 How was it getting your nan across the gravel? 315 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,340 I'm really sorry, I should have helped. 316 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,234 Didn't need your help, mate. 317 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:52,500 I think I might pop upstairs and... 318 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,104 finish my unpacking. 319 00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:56,857 - Oh, it's all glamour with you. - Yeah. 320 00:17:58,313 --> 00:17:59,613 Um... 321 00:18:04,094 --> 00:18:05,518 England. 322 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,172 Yes. 323 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:08,800 It's England all right. 324 00:18:09,686 --> 00:18:11,440 You wouldn't get this in France. 325 00:18:13,584 --> 00:18:14,930 I'll tell you what, 326 00:18:14,998 --> 00:18:16,755 and this is no exaggeration, 327 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:19,700 I'd rather be dead than be French. 328 00:18:19,971 --> 00:18:22,100 - I hate the Dutch. - Oh, yeah, the Dutch. 329 00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,300 I mean, what do they even do all day? 330 00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:27,740 You know the thing about the Dutch? No manners. 331 00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,076 Is that right? 332 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:32,420 We did a house move for this Dutch bird. She offered us a cup of tea 333 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:34,134 and she never even made it. 334 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,580 - You're kidding me? - No. 335 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,296 It's in their DNA. 336 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,867 If I discovered I was even a quarter Dutch I'd be out of here. 337 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:43,819 - Really? - Yeah. 338 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:47,380 Pills, cyanide, revolver, I wouldn't take my chances. 339 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,068 I'd completely erase myself. 340 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,685 - Well, I'm sorry to hear that. - Well... 341 00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:58,834 Hm. 342 00:18:59,392 --> 00:19:01,564 Pauline's on good form, isn't she? 343 00:19:02,165 --> 00:19:04,580 I think this is going to be an interesting week. 344 00:19:04,889 --> 00:19:08,020 Oh, God, yeah. Fascinating, yeah. 345 00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:10,380 No, I'm really interested. 346 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,780 It will be really interesting to, sort of, collate all the facts 347 00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:14,500 and figures and then go from there with a view 348 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,000 to what the findings are. 349 00:19:27,403 --> 00:19:29,395 Yeah. 350 00:19:36,336 --> 00:19:39,096 I'm totally on my period at the moment. 351 00:19:40,733 --> 00:19:42,373 Oh, are you? 352 00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:45,455 Yeah. 353 00:19:49,742 --> 00:19:51,820 Apparently there's a whole other area out the back, 354 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,925 where the family who own it live while they're renting it out. 355 00:19:55,346 --> 00:19:59,052 Oh, what a place to hire for your birthday. 356 00:19:59,583 --> 00:20:03,026 - I hate to think what they paid for it. - Yeah. 357 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,925 - My dad would have loved it here. - Oh, yeah. 358 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:09,536 He would have been straight out into that swimming pool, wouldn't he? 359 00:20:09,597 --> 00:20:10,797 Um... 360 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,200 no, I don't think so, mate. 361 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,440 No? 362 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,500 Well... 363 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:21,340 your dad would have found it funny, though. 364 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,300 The chandeliers, the fancy furniture. 365 00:20:24,508 --> 00:20:27,068 No, I don't think so actually. 366 00:20:30,419 --> 00:20:31,718 Why did you come? 367 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,140 - It's Derek's birthday. - Yeah, yeah. 368 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:38,727 You know, he invited me. 369 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,840 I've moved into a more consultancy role at work, haven't I? So... 370 00:20:43,917 --> 00:20:45,637 bit easier to take time off. 371 00:20:46,855 --> 00:20:50,120 - I think they're trying to get rid of me. - Why aren't you in Spain? 372 00:20:53,571 --> 00:20:54,811 I'm just not. 373 00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,160 OK. 374 00:20:59,809 --> 00:21:03,292 - Mind if I sit by the fire? - Yeah, great. Do what you want, mate. 375 00:21:03,419 --> 00:21:04,679 Thanks. 376 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,443 And the long hours, you'd always feel like you're at work. 377 00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:31,087 And I think I'd really miss gravity. 378 00:21:31,148 --> 00:21:33,620 I'd get so hot in the space suit. 379 00:21:33,869 --> 00:21:35,518 Do you know what I mean? 380 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,760 Should we head downstairs, love? 381 00:21:38,021 --> 00:21:39,581 Um... 382 00:21:43,079 --> 00:21:45,859 one of my friends from Sainsbury's, 383 00:21:46,177 --> 00:21:48,617 who you don't know, she wasn't at my birthday... 384 00:21:49,748 --> 00:21:52,541 she's a little bit, sort of, pregnant. 385 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,314 - Oh, uh, OK. - Yeah. 386 00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:02,702 Like, just, like, six weeks, four days or something, 387 00:22:02,763 --> 00:22:04,550 something like that and she was asking me 388 00:22:04,611 --> 00:22:07,380 and I said I'd ask you, because you know everything, 389 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,420 you're basically the best person I've ever met, have I told you that? 390 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,559 - You might have mentioned it, yeah. - Yeah. 391 00:22:13,152 --> 00:22:18,223 Well, she was wondering whether, when you were as pregnant as she is, 392 00:22:18,284 --> 00:22:21,089 six weeks, four days or thereabouts... 393 00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:24,020 whether it's normal to get, like... 394 00:22:24,439 --> 00:22:26,739 little pains in your tummy? 395 00:22:29,989 --> 00:22:31,671 How little are they? 396 00:22:31,732 --> 00:22:36,620 They're just little pains, just, sort of, twinges and... 397 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,815 a few little aches down here. 398 00:22:40,959 --> 00:22:43,291 And, and do they make her dizzy? Or... 399 00:22:43,352 --> 00:22:45,990 does she have to sit down when she has them? Or...? 400 00:22:46,051 --> 00:22:47,351 Um... 401 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:53,262 no, I don't think so. They just sort of twinge a little bit. 402 00:22:56,345 --> 00:22:58,299 I think that sounds pretty normal. 403 00:22:59,627 --> 00:23:01,206 - Yeah? - Yeah. 404 00:23:01,706 --> 00:23:05,378 If they don't hurt too much or don't get any worse. 405 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:09,540 She's got all these special bits of her body 406 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,683 that she's never really used before. 407 00:23:12,042 --> 00:23:14,798 - Now they're starting to wake up. - Yeah, yeah. 408 00:23:15,236 --> 00:23:17,218 I'll tell her that, then, yeah. 409 00:23:17,721 --> 00:23:18,921 Thanks. 410 00:23:23,657 --> 00:23:24,857 How does she feel? 411 00:23:26,049 --> 00:23:29,276 Um... disgusting, yeah. 412 00:23:29,563 --> 00:23:33,140 She just, sort of, feels constantly sick I think and... 413 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:38,739 sort of like she's the tiredest and ugliest person in the universe. 414 00:23:39,235 --> 00:23:40,551 And like... 415 00:23:41,011 --> 00:23:43,560 she's always been the stupid one. 416 00:23:45,959 --> 00:23:47,839 But now it's getting like... 417 00:23:50,492 --> 00:23:51,942 I don't know. 418 00:23:55,389 --> 00:23:56,794 But is she happy? 419 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,180 Well, if your friend's got any other questions, 420 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,246 - you can always ask me for her. - Yeah. 421 00:24:09,528 --> 00:24:11,060 Thanks, yeah. 422 00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:13,020 I will do. 423 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,700 I'm just going to pop to my room and text her all that info 424 00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,527 and then I'm going to get back to dealing with my massive period. 425 00:24:18,588 --> 00:24:19,829 Lovely. 426 00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,180 How's Kumar? 427 00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,926 Boasting about the house again. 428 00:24:24,987 --> 00:24:26,420 Huh! It's not that good. 429 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,660 I know! 430 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,365 - I know. - What's it got? Like, four acres? 431 00:24:30,426 --> 00:24:31,706 4.5. 432 00:24:32,726 --> 00:24:33,980 Please. 433 00:24:34,523 --> 00:24:36,412 He never forgets the point five. 434 00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,140 He's got no self-awareness. 435 00:24:40,394 --> 00:24:41,620 Sad really. 436 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,549 We should feel sorry for him. 437 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,040 I don't feel sorry for him. 438 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,320 I want to punch his fucking face. 439 00:24:51,399 --> 00:24:53,830 Is your towel shaped like a swan? 440 00:24:53,891 --> 00:24:55,957 Of course, I insist upon it. 441 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,640 I think I'm going to start doing that at home. 442 00:25:06,677 --> 00:25:08,216 Jason been OK? 443 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,100 - Yeah, yeah we had a nice chat. - I was in such a rush this morning, 444 00:25:12,458 --> 00:25:14,300 I was worried that he might have noticed or... 445 00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:15,600 He didn't say anything. 446 00:25:18,213 --> 00:25:21,085 - You don't think he suspects anything? - Michael, mate. 447 00:25:21,146 --> 00:25:22,420 Have you seen the sofas in here? 448 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:25,077 - What's that? - They've got piping. 449 00:25:25,567 --> 00:25:28,260 - You're kidding me? - It's another world. 450 00:25:28,341 --> 00:25:30,453 Look at it, mate. Piping. 451 00:25:33,954 --> 00:25:36,774 Mum, come and have a look at the garden. There's a swing. 452 00:25:36,835 --> 00:25:38,835 Oh, lovely, yeah. 453 00:25:43,387 --> 00:25:45,140 And you just turn the gas on. 454 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,860 This actually reminds me of the third time I went to southern Brazil. 455 00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:50,146 Oh, OK. 456 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,220 Have you ever had a churrasco in southern Brazil? 457 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,260 no, I haven't, no. We've, we've been to the north. 458 00:25:57,320 --> 00:25:59,440 - Well, everyone's been to the north. - Yeah. 459 00:26:08,435 --> 00:26:09,720 Lovely loo roll. 460 00:26:11,691 --> 00:26:13,011 It's three ply! 461 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:16,048 It's three ply! 462 00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,103 How am I going to get up the stairs? 463 00:26:35,615 --> 00:26:37,820 I'll get you up the stairs. 464 00:26:38,020 --> 00:26:39,818 Here's the birthday boy! 465 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,620 Oh, bloody hell, champagne! 466 00:26:42,680 --> 00:26:44,500 It's a great house, Pauline, wow. 467 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:45,580 It'll do. 468 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,914 I was just saying to Marco how Dad would have liked it here. 469 00:26:48,975 --> 00:26:50,557 Oh, God. Yeah, he would have. 470 00:26:50,618 --> 00:26:52,460 He'd have been straight in that pool, wouldn't he? 471 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,700 He would have been straight in there with all his clothes on 472 00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,355 and we would have been stood about laughing. 473 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,060 I'd have been in there after him, wouldn't I? 474 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,931 Yeah, yeah, you would have, love. 475 00:27:04,369 --> 00:27:06,269 - Vegetable crusts. - Coming! 476 00:27:12,603 --> 00:27:17,203 Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com 33558

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