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1
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:24,759
Oh, you all right, mate? Oh, God.
2
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:27,239
Oh, come on, Josh, it's just
a bit of soap and a penis. Sorry,
3
00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:28,599
am I having an anxiety dream?!
4
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,159
You still haven't got the guts to
5
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,319
shower in the all-together? No.
6
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,639
It makes me uncomfortable.
7
00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,479
Yeah, I'd feel pretty uncomfortable
if I had a body like that, as well.
8
00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,799
I go to the gym four times a week,
thank you very much!
9
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,239
Can't be doing it properly!
10
00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:43,079
Do you want me to come with you,
show you a couple of pointers?
11
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,639
Look at what you could achieve.
Check those thighs out!
12
00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:48,519
I don't want to look at those
thighs, I know what's next to them.
13
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:50,880
Oh, go on, Josh. Treat yourself.
14
00:00:53,160 --> 00:00:56,559
How big are your thighs? Are you on
the 'roids?! Am I on the "'roids"?
15
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:59,319
What is this, an informative
episode of Saved By The Bell?
16
00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,479
Course I'm not on the 'roids.
17
00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,159
For the record, these thighs
are the result of pumping iron
18
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:05,799
and strong Welsh genes,
19
00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:08,519
which incidentally is what I need to
wear to keep them in check.
20
00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,639
Now, pass me that coconut body
butter, will you?
21
00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,520
Come and join the party.
22
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,319
The tickets are like gold dust
and I've got one.
23
00:01:20,320 --> 00:01:22,319
It's like Harry Potter,
but on stage,
24
00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:24,040
and there's a real owl in the show.
25
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,799
You know, playing the owl,
not one of the little wizards.
26
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,479
Oh, that's great, Kate.
27
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:32,479
Um, anyway, you know how Neil and
28
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,599
I really value you as a friend, and
29
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,999
we both think you've been amazing
30
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,559
with Oscar since he was born?
31
00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:40,119
All part of the service
of being a valued friend!
32
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,559
Well, we were wondering
33
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,319
if you'd like to make that role
more official.
34
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,919
Oh, my God!
35
00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:50,399
Are you making me your
best friend? No, Kate.
36
00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,159
We were wondering how you would feel
37
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,600
about becoming Oscar's godmother.
38
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:58,879
Oh, I would love to! Oh, YAY!
39
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,519
I am so touched that you
looked at me and thought,
40
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,559
"Spiritual guidance."
41
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,839
Obviously, there are duties.
Oh, I am all over it, you know?
42
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,120
Moral compass, gifts at birthdays,
I get him if both of you are...
43
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,559
Murdered?!
44
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,199
Oh... No, I didn't
mean both murdered,
45
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,999
I just meant general death.
46
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,079
Could be anything. Suicide pact?
47
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,760
Although that's normally pills,
isn't it? So that's more like...
48
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,239
Ah, it burns! Ooh, it burns!
49
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,520
Oh, I love you. Goodbye!
50
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,000
Godmothering. Go.
51
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,839
What we're thinking is not so much
raising an orphan child,
52
00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,039
as just the odd night baby-sitting.
53
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:42,639
Oh, any time you want.
54
00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:45,799
Me and the godson, chilling
out, chewing the fat.
55
00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:50,639
Putting the world to rights. You
know he can't talk? Of course! Yeah.
56
00:02:50,640 --> 00:02:52,839
Yeah, it's just good to have a
sounding board.
57
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,399
Um, don't suppose you'd be
free tomorrow?
58
00:02:55,400 --> 00:02:57,479
Do I have to provide my own nappies?
No.
59
00:02:57,480 --> 00:02:59,759
Then I am available.
Oh, that's great!
60
00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:03,280
Ah. So, um... who is
your best friend?
61
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,759
Oh, God!
62
00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:16,119
Give us a minute.
63
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,519
Is there anyone in my life that
understands the rules of public
nudity?!
64
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,399
What the hell are you doing?
65
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,719
I'll give you a clue
- it's not a sit-down wee.
66
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,799
Ah! Well, why haven't you
locked the door?
67
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,159
Came round to oil the lock.
68
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,319
I removed it but haven't replaced
it yet.
69
00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:32,239
Well, why didn't you wait
until you put the lock back on?
70
00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:35,479
Because, I spent so much time in
the toilet, I needed to go!
71
00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,439
It's like what they say about
shopping for food when you're
hungry.
72
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,239
It makes the hunger stronger.
73
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:43,199
Right, when we're done,
we need to have a chat.
74
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,799
TOILET FLUSHES
75
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:46,799
Geoff?
76
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,120
Geoff?
77
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,480
Josh, where do you keep your brush?
Oh, God!
78
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,760
I'd like to bring Raf and Lucinda
back into the boardroom.
79
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:07,239
This isn't a joke, Geoff.
We need to talk to you about how
much you've been coming round.
80
00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,119
I always have a valid reason!
81
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,199
Yesterday you came round
to check if the TV worked
82
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,399
and then watched Spartacus.
83
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,960
No, I watched Spartacus!
84
00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,839
Oh, come on. From now on, you are
banned from the premises. What?!
85
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,959
No more pointless visits. We have
legal rights. Oh, come on, guys.
86
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,800
No, we've made our decision, Geoff.
87
00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:29,960
Owen, do you agree with this?
88
00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:32,799
Well, maybe we... Yes!
89
00:04:32,800 --> 00:04:34,120
He agrees.
90
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,479
You'll want me back,
soon as there's a problem!
91
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:41,680
That isn't going to happen.
Goodbye, Geoff.
92
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,760
I'd like to thank you for the
opportunity, Lord...
93
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,760
Do you know what, I'm actually
too sad to do that.
94
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:59,999
OK. There's some expressed
milk in the fridge...
95
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,319
Actually, I'm trying to
cut down on my dairy!
96
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,039
Neil made that mistake once.
Ruined my Weetos.
97
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:09,959
Everything you need to change
Oscar is on the changing
table in the bedroom. OK.
98
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,559
Is that something he's going to
require? You know, to be changed?
99
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,359
Yeah, it doesn't stop down there.
Proper production line.
100
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:20,799
It's like the Tunnock's factory. Oh,
please, Neil! Sorry. Yes, look -
don't worry, you'll be fine.
101
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:24,399
Just remember, if he starts crying
it's cos he's hungry, or he wants
changing... Right.
102
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,079
..or he's bored, or he's tired or
he's suddenly started teething.
103
00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,639
Wait, how will I know which one?
Oh, I'm sure you'll work it out!
104
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,120
What is teething?!
105
00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:36,319
OSCAR CRIES
106
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,559
Oh, God.
107
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,279
CRYING CONTINUES
108
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:40,320
Oh!
109
00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,519
So, I start on here and I just ease
myself into the rhythm, really.
110
00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:51,999
What, of Harold Bishop's
power walk?
111
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,119
Got to warm up the muscles. You
don't want to risk a tear! Right, of
course.
112
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,959
Also, this gives me the opportunity
113
00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,440
to choose a podcast for
my workout. OK.
114
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,679
Come on, mate! Just pick one. OK!
115
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:09,959
Melvyn Bragg's In Our Time, I think.
116
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:13,479
Sharpen the mind while I sharpen the
body. Who are you, Graeme Le Saux?
117
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:18,359
Right, come on, let's pick up the
pace a bit. No, I haven't even put
my headphones in yet! Here we go.
118
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,519
Go hard or go home, Joshua. Now
we're in the calorie-burning zone.
119
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:23,960
This is more like it.
120
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,439
What?
121
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,799
You run like a toddler
going down a hill.
122
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:37,200
Mate, I'm going up an incline
of 0.5%, thank you very much.
123
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:41,319
Oh, this is funny, look,
this is funny!
124
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:45,039
Oh, look, it's Mr Bear.
"Hello, I'm Mr Bear.
125
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,159
"Stop crying, you stupid baby!"
126
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,199
Look, how have you been keeping
this up for five hours?
127
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,760
Please, Oscar, please,
please stop crying.
128
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,120
Oh! Mummy's home.
129
00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:03,999
Hi. Oh, wow! Look at this room!
Yeah, er...
130
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,919
The mess was mostly Oscar.
131
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:09,679
Aww. Oh, did you enjoy yourself?
132
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,679
Er, did I enjoy myself?
133
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:14,199
Suppose I'd have to say... yes!
134
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:16,999
Ah, he is a real character.
135
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,719
Ah, that's great news, cos I've got
something to ask you, actually.
136
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,359
Are you free tomorrow?
137
00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,360
Oh, tomorrow... I'm doing the...
138
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,719
..the, the meal out. Oh.
139
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:32,559
It's just Neil's grandad's been
rushed to hospital.
140
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,879
Oh, that's awful. So he can't
baby-sit, either?
141
00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:37,639
He was next in line!
He's not in a good way.
142
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:40,319
We really need to go and see him.
143
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,680
Wouldn't he like to see Oscar? No.
144
00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:50,279
I mean, I could look after him
if you want. Oh, thank you.
145
00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,079
You're so kind. Can you just
grab him a second? Oh, really?
146
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,560
Yeah, um... I just, um... need to
have a bath. OK.
147
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:00,759
OSCAR CRIES
148
00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:01,840
For...
149
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:09,599
Josh, you cycle like a vicar
on his way to evensong.
150
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:13,839
Oh, sorry - won't be long. Won't be
long? You've only done 47 seconds.
151
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,239
Yeah, the gym is all about
short, sharp bursts.
152
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,919
Well, in that case,
pick up the pace,
153
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:20,519
otherwise you'll never deliver
the Hovis by sunrise.
154
00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:23,919
So sorry about this, he actually
learnt to cycle on a penny-farthing.
155
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,919
Wondered whose that
was in the bike rack.
156
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,679
He's actually worse on the
treadmill,
157
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:28,919
he runs like a sausage dog!
158
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,879
I've got short legs! Well, they
haven't been worn down through
speed.
159
00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,759
I'm not a natural at the gym,
either. You know what helped me out?
160
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,279
Spin class.
161
00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:38,559
Oh, yeah? What's that?
Well, it's an hour's cycling...
162
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,159
Right. ..in the dark. Yeah.
163
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,239
Set to a soundtrack of driving
techno and funky house!
164
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,559
Absolutely not. Ooh, we'll be there!
165
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,760
That's just what he needs.
Yeah, you'll love it.
166
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,479
SHE MURMURS
167
00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,879
Berwick are the only team in
Scotland that actually play their
games in England.
168
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,879
Isn't part of Chester's
new ground IN Wales?
169
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,040
No, don't...
170
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,440
No...
171
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,360
You got poo on your hands.
172
00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:06,080
No, don't put it in your mouth!
173
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,119
SHE SNORTS
174
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,719
Ooh.
175
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,919
I'm going to guess that godmothering
wasn't as easy as you first thought?
176
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,120
Oh...
177
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:20,359
He was sick on the sofa, he trod
expressed milk into the carpet,
178
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,319
and then he managed to get
hold of my phone.
179
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,679
He smashed your phone?! No, worse.
180
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,679
He managed to delete Doodlejump.
181
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:30,319
I've lost ALL my high scores! You
back up, Kate, you ALWAYS back up.
182
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,039
After that, all I remember
is crying.
183
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,719
Firstly from him, and then for the
last hour from both of us.
184
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:40,039
Well, it's over now. No, it's not!
185
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,559
I've just been talked into going
back for round two.
186
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:43,959
Neil's grandad's in hospital.
187
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,559
I mean, what am I supposed to say,
188
00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,919
"Oh, no, you can't go and visit
your grandad on his death
189
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,679
bed cos I want to stay in and watch
the Great Pottery Throw Down"?
190
00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,839
Ooh, is that back on? Great! Ah!
191
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,799
Wonder what the main make will be.
192
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,039
I reckon, week one, stackable bowls.
Good shout.
193
00:09:57,040 --> 00:10:00,959
Then you never know, do you, cos
clay is such a versatile medium.
That's true...
194
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,239
I'm sorry, I thought we were talking
about me and my problems? Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
195
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,119
I mean, godmothering is basically
just unpaid baby-sitting.
196
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,359
Well, why don't you hire a
baby-sitter to take over from you,
then?
197
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,839
I don't think Karen's going to be
all right with Kate outsourcing her
godmothering!
198
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,959
You don't tell her. You wait for
Karen to leave and then you arrange
another baby-sitter.
199
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,999
You can then enjoy Sara Cox
criticise a wonky pot,
200
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:24,039
making sure you return to take
over before Karen gets back.
201
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:27,399
Everyone wins.
Karen gets to visit the death bed.
202
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,319
Kate gets to look like a great
godmother,
203
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:33,079
and the baby-sitter gets minimum
wage. That is brilliant!
204
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,839
What, so rather than look like a bad
godmother for the next 17 years,
205
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:37,719
you're just going to hire
a baby-sitter?
206
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,679
No! Just until Neil's grandad,
207
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,840
touch wood, dies.
208
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,679
Shower's running cold again.
209
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:53,119
Everything disappeared,
I look like a Ken doll.
210
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:57,399
My penis looked tired and
frightened. The thighs only
serve to highlight that!
211
00:10:57,400 --> 00:11:00,759
We're going to have to call Geoff.
There is no way we're calling Geoff.
212
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,399
I mean, do you really need
to shower that much?
213
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,999
I've heard after a while the body
starts cleaning itself!
214
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,639
No, that's dreadlocks.
Not an option for us, is it?
215
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,919
We find it hard enough to attract
women as it is without
216
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,879
becoming a white man with dreads.
217
00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:15,399
Well, it's fine, you can
just shower at the gym!
218
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:18,119
Well, I'm happy with that if you
are. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah?
219
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,839
What you wearing this time,
Victorian bathing costume?
220
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,799
Full wet suit? Piss off!
221
00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,120
OWEN LAUGHS
222
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,479
I'm not sure this is going
to be for me.
223
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:29,999
Can I leave if it gets too intense?
224
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,919
You're riding a bike, you're not
going on a date with Kate.
225
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,999
If I hide at the back and
need to stop pedalling,
226
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:38,199
no-one will notice, will they? Well,
they will - they lock all the doors.
227
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,199
You only get the exit code when
everyone's finished their distance.
228
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,559
Really?! No!
229
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:43,959
Listen, you'll be fine.
230
00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:45,639
No-one's ever been spun to death.
231
00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,559
But my cousin's mate Brian nearly
was.
232
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:51,879
What? Yeah, zorbed off a cliff. No!
He ruined the stag do.
233
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,359
Thankfully, he was one of those
people only the groom knew
234
00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:56,720
and he'd already been quite
annoying in the e-mail group.
235
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:04,679
Everybody here's a woman! That's not
true, me and you are here!
236
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:07,079
Right, I'm going to find
someone to buddy up with.
237
00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,479
What do you mean, buddy up?
Have you not read the blurb?
238
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:12,039
They encourage you to buddy up with
someone, so you can help
239
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,719
each other push through the burn.
Well, then, buddy up with me!
240
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,399
Mate, everyone here's a woman.
I'm not going to buddy up with you.
241
00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,879
What...? Hello!
242
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,759
Got some newbies. Welcome. Hello.
243
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:23,439
Hiya, I'm Josh, I,
um... I'm a bit nervous.
244
00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,879
Oh, don't worry, there's
no winners and losers.
245
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,679
Good. Now, I just need your spinning
246
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,320
nicknames for the leaderboard.
247
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:34,600
Kylie Minogue? Cos, er, I'm
spinning around. Fantastic! And you?
248
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,639
I don't have a nickname.
249
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,520
Oh, anything related to the word
spin usually goes down well.
250
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,719
Alastair Campbell? Sorry?
251
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,200
He was Tony Blair's director
of communications.
252
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,400
Often referred to as a spin doctor?
253
00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:54,199
I'm just going to put "Josh".
254
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:55,280
I'll see you later.
255
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,879
Hey, it's Mr Penny Farthing!
Oh, hey! Glad you made it. Oh.
256
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:05,919
Do you want to buddy up?
257
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,959
Oh, yeah. Oh, thank God you're here,
it's actually quite daunting.
258
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:11,279
The first time you did this class,
did you worry about...
259
00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:15,719
OK, girls, are we ready to spin?
ALL: Yeah! Yes, we are!
260
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:16,760
MUSIC PLAYS
261
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,400
Let's get warmed up.
262
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:23,839
Argh! Can't get my feet
in the stirrup things!
263
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,999
Come on, girls,
this is the easy bit.
264
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,199
Come on!
265
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,960
80 to 100 RPM.
266
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,439
Ooh, my inhaler!
267
00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,679
Resistance dials,
two turns to the right.
268
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,079
I can't get my foot out the...
269
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,999
How do you get your foot out the
stirrup?
270
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:43,079
Loosen the strap. I, I can't!
271
00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:45,279
Pedal 80 to 100 RPM.
272
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,079
How do I know what speed I'm going?
273
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,319
80 to 100! No, I know that!
I mean...
274
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:53,759
Resistance dials, two turns to the
right. What's the resistance dial?
275
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:57,599
Another quarter turn on the
resistance dial. And find the beat.
276
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:01,440
Find the beat?! I can't find the
resistance dial! God!
277
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,799
OK. So there's ?15. Thanks.
278
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,999
Um, just before you go,
279
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,639
Oscar didn't do anything
I should know about, did he?
280
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:13,599
Well, he can walk now.
Really?! Yeah.
281
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,440
He wandered down to Sainsbury's to
pick up some rusks.
282
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:23,319
Oh, right. Yes. Very good. Um, so
you should probably be on your way.
If that's...
283
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,559
Oh, why are there so many photos of
284
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,239
Oscar with a woman that isn't you?
285
00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:31,119
Oh, er, that is my sister. Yeah.
286
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,679
Just don't like having
photos of myself up.
287
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:35,560
I'll probably be the same
when I'm old.
288
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:39,199
Sorry?! I'm not old. I'm going to
289
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,920
see the Harry Potter play tomorrow.
290
00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,240
OK. I'll see you later.
291
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,360
DOOR OPENS
292
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:07,639
Oh! Oh! Hi, Kate. Hi, guys. How was
Oscar? Ah, sweetness and light.
293
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:08,879
OSCAR CRIES
294
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:11,239
In fact, that is the first time I've
heard him cry all day.
295
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:14,039
He cries ALL the time with us.
God, you must be a natural.
296
00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,560
Yeah, I'm really good with kids.
I'd better...
297
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:21,959
How's Neil's grandad?
It's not looking good. Yeah.
298
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:23,599
Are you free tomorrow?
299
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,120
I'm not, no.
300
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,640
Suppose we won't be able
to say goodbye, then.
301
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:36,919
I guess I can move a
couple of things around.
302
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,080
Thanks.
303
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:42,800
Great work, you are
smashing it! Double speed!
304
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:47,079
Who's that flagging at the back?
Come on, Gordon Brown!
305
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,359
If you're not pushing it,
306
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:50,680
you might as well be outside
eating a sandwich.
307
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,559
Spinning Jenny, come
on Spinning Jenny!
308
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,039
And well done, Kylie Minogue,
spinning around big time.
309
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:04,239
Next time, come in hot pants. Are we
having a good time? Woo! Yes!
310
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,479
HE COUGHS
311
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,960
HE RETCHES
312
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,919
Are you going to throw up?
313
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,480
No, the worst has passed.
314
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,999
I can't believe you came last.
315
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,599
It's actually quite an achievement.
316
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,519
It's 100% why Ellie invited me,
just so she could win.
317
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,719
But she didn't win, she came second
last. Not coming last is winning.
318
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,439
Ah, the old Olympic motto!
I mean, it all makes sense.
319
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:35,559
That's why she was such
a rubbish buddy.
320
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,199
Do you know, she didn't help me
through the burn one bit?
321
00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,119
It was incredibly good fun though,
wasn't it? No, it was awful.
322
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,679
I mean, I could hardly walk. Did
you have a particularly hard saddle?
323
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:47,199
No. I felt like I was
straddling a diamond!
324
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,879
Right. I'm off to the toilet
and then the shower.
325
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,719
The, er, colonels have earnt
themselves
326
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,680
a serving of coconut body butter!
327
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,999
Actually, that reminds me,
I need to order another tub.
328
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,480
They're thirsty girls.
329
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,680
Hey! What you doing?!
330
00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,119
No way is she on the 'roids?
331
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,359
I went into the ladies'
toilets by mistake,
332
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:19,559
and there Ellie was, clear as day,
boosting herself.
333
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,999
She's a 'roid head? Yeah! I'd stop
saying "'roids" if I was you.
334
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,719
So she's Lance Armstrong, and I'm...
335
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,559
..whoever raced against Lance
Armstrong?!
336
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:29,119
Ooh, superb analogy.
337
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,279
Well, do you know what,
now I know it's a competition,
338
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,479
I'm not going to let her win!
339
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,999
I'm going to beat her, even if she
is pumped full of cheating juice.
340
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,560
"Cheating juice"?! I think
I preferred "'roids".
341
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,679
Come on, we're going to miss
spinning!
342
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,759
That's it, I'm phoning Geoff.
Owen, no!
343
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:01,079
Well, I flushed and the water
wouldn't stop rising!
344
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,599
Felt like the tide was coming in!
345
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,639
And it was carrying a pretty
sizeable ferry. Ugh, Owen!
346
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,439
Well, we need to get Geoff round to
sort it. I will deal with it.
347
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:11,239
If you need to go, you can go at the
gym. And you can go at the theatre!
348
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:12,399
I don't need to go.
349
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,800
Well, we haven't got a working
toilet, so I would try.
350
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,239
Sorry. Where have you been?
I need to go! Yeah?
351
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,119
My mum said she'd drop me off,
and then she couldn't.
352
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,479
Never trust a Muggle!
353
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,399
Right, I need to go, for I, dear
girl, have a date with a certain
354
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,439
Harry Potter.
355
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,639
Oh, you're a Harry Potter fan.
Yeah, no, I told you.
356
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,239
You do know I'm actually friends
with Rupert Grint? No way, are you?
357
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:46,599
No. Oh. Right, yeah, good one.
358
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,519
Actually, seeing as we're bonding,
I'll let you in on a little secret.
359
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:53,239
I always take my own ice creams
to the theatre! Don't tell anyone.
360
00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,639
Who would I tell?
361
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,359
Er, the police...?
362
00:18:57,360 --> 00:18:59,400
The police? Yeah.
363
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,199
Shouldn't you be going?
364
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,800
Yeah, OK. Laters!
365
00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,639
Hey! Hey, buddy.
It's great to see you.
366
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,799
Well, you'll be seeing me
at the finish line.
367
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,119
Ooh! I'll wait for you.
368
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,599
Well, don't wait all night, because
369
00:19:19,600 --> 00:19:22,399
I'll have won... ahead of you.
370
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:23,879
Sorry? I don't follow.
371
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:26,959
You'll be following me to the
finish line.
372
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,399
I hope they've got us
those blankets made of tinfoil.
373
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,879
What, for smoking your drugs?
What?! Yeah, exactly.
374
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,839
MUSIC PLAYS
375
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,880
Come on, guys, feel the beat.
Feel the beat? I AM the beat!
376
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,520
Keep going, guys!
377
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,039
You feeling the burn? Yeah?
378
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,240
Great work. You are smashing it.
379
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,959
Doing really well.
380
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,760
Really well, just keep going!
381
00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:13,999
And five, four, three...
382
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,199
..two, one!
383
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,319
And we're done! Well done.
384
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,840
Let's take a look at the leader
board. Yes! Get in! Oh.
385
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,039
No need to be more aerodynamic now!
386
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,599
Do you want to have a
go on my inhaler?
387
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,319
Ellie?
388
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,079
Ellie, are you all right?
389
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,999
Yeah, she's fine! She just
can't deal with the burn.
390
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,159
Oh, my God. Someone get
a medic! Medic!
391
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,399
Ellie? How long's she been like
this? I don't know!
392
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,919
I was concentrating on my cycling!
393
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,479
You were supposed to be BUDDYING.
394
00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,360
Ellie! Ellie!
395
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:54,159
Oh, jeez. Hi, sorry. Ooh.
396
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,199
Got a programme. That's nice. Ooh!
397
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,720
Sorry.
398
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:00,880
Ah!
399
00:21:08,520 --> 00:21:11,080
Kate! Kate!
400
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,840
Karen! Neil! Hi.
401
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,799
What the hell are you doing here?
OK, look.
402
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,319
I can explain.
403
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,559
The thing is, I have a
ticket for Harry Potter
404
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,319
And The Cursed Child Part One.
405
00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:29,679
No shit. Kate, where is our son?!
406
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,479
OK. Don't panic. He's at home
with a baby-sitter.
407
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:35,959
YOU are the baby-sitter!
No, I am the godmother.
408
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,279
I have employed a baby-sitter.
409
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,160
And actually, while we're at it,
what the hell are you doing here?
410
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,479
Er, well, Neil surprised
me with tickets.
411
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:45,959
You know, he's a real Potterhead.
412
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:49,159
Guilty! No, I meant, aren't you
supposed to be with your grandad?
413
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,839
Ah, well, he suddenly showed some
signs of improvement. Yeah.
414
00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,559
Ooh, did he? Oh.
That's a coincidence.
415
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:58,119
On the night you had tickets to
the hottest show in town?!
416
00:21:58,120 --> 00:21:59,960
Pull the other one!
417
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,279
Well, you're going
to have to go back.
418
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,639
I'm not going back,
he's your child.
419
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,320
Neil, tell her.
420
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,639
Is she a good baby-sitter? What?!
421
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:14,000
No problem so far.
422
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:20,239
Well, you know, yeah, seeing as
423
00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,200
we're all here, and she's there...
424
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,879
..I guess it would be remiss of us
not to enjoy the play.
425
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,639
Yeah, and if you think about it,
it would be unfair
426
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:31,999
on all the people who missed out
on tickets if we didn't use our own.
427
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:35,479
Imagine being an actor and seeing
an empty seat. Yeah. Or an owl!
428
00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,439
They actually had to get rid of the
owls after the third preview.
429
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,039
One got stuck up in the rafters.
430
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,839
Oh, you're kidding me!
431
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,280
Yeah, I know, gutting.
432
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,319
Out of interest,
433
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:55,039
what time did you tell
the baby-sitter to knock off?
434
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,760
Oh, er, I said about tennish. Oh.
435
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:01,599
I can push it back a bit if you want
to go for a couple of drinks
afterwards.
436
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,680
I haven't been clubbing in ages.
I'll text her.
437
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:11,280
Oh! God! It's all
melted on my phone.
438
00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:18,599
Well, the good news is Ellie's
going to be all right.
439
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:20,359
It was an honest mistake.
440
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:21,759
You wanted to beat your buddy
441
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:24,839
so badly you overtook her after
she collapsed.
442
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:29,279
No! I just didn't notice her.
You do make it very dark in there.
443
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,199
It's so people don't feel
self conscious.
444
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:34,679
You kept shouting out my name
and saying, "Speed up, slowcoach!"
445
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,759
Anyway, I'm not going to
feel bad for her.
446
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:39,639
The only reason she invited me
was so she didn't finish last.
447
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,759
Spin class isn't a competition.
448
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,919
Well, what's that big
screen at the front, then?
449
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,039
It's a motivational tool!
450
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,559
You're a motivational tool.
451
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,479
You're not helping your case here,
mate. Right, we are done here.
452
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,079
I am revoking your membership.
453
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,719
What? No! What?
454
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,720
Tell her about the drugs.
455
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:56,759
Right. Fine.
456
00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:58,679
Well, I didn't want
it to come to this,
457
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,319
but you should know
I am not the bad egg here.
458
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:04,959
Ellie was on the 'roids. What?!
459
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,759
He means steroids. Yeah.
460
00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,079
Sorry to be the one to break
it to you, but this man saw her
461
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,519
injecting herself in the women's
changing rooms.
462
00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:16,279
I think you'll find that is why
she collapsed.
463
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,160
She's diabetic, that is
why she collapsed!
464
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:23,399
Actually, yeah, that makes sense.
Yeah.
465
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:25,799
And what were you doing in the
women's changing rooms?
466
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,480
Oh, no! Now that
was an honest mistake.
467
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,119
What? I'm not a pervert!
468
00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:34,440
Membership card. Oh, nice one.
469
00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:41,159
Ooh, actually, excuse me, sorry.
470
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,679
Before we go, could I just use
your shower, briefly?
471
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,480
Yeah, and the loo, the gents'?
472
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:54,879
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle...
473
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,079
..bag, and now I can't
switch my phone on.
474
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,439
I mean, I'm never going to see those
Cross The Road scores again. I just
unlocked the emo-goose character!
475
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,479
You back up, you always
back up, Kate.
476
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:07,159
Oh, come on!
477
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,359
We've gotta call Geoff. Fine!
478
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:10,919
Thank you. Thanks.
479
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,519
I didn't even want rum and raisin,
480
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,479
but they'd run out of
mint choc chip.
481
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,199
Heya, Geoff.
482
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,440
Yes, there is
a problem with the flat.
483
00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,119
Yeah, we do want you to come over.
484
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:23,520
Yes, you win.
485
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,160
OK. Cheers. Bye.
486
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,720
DOORBELL RINGS
487
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:32,520
Back in the game!
488
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,959
Bicycle, bicycle, bicycle, yeah
489
00:25:36,960 --> 00:25:38,079
Bicycle
490
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:39,519
I want to ride my...
491
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,279
Bicycle, bicycle, come on!
492
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:43,839
Bicycle
493
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,839
I want to ride my bicycle
494
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:49,319
I want to ride my bike
495
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:52,039
I want to ride my bicycle
496
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,400
I want to ride it where I like.
65506
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