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1
00:03:11,914 --> 00:03:13,216
Police Commissioner
Braithwaite,
2
00:03:13,249 --> 00:03:15,151
what information can you give us?
I've no comment.
3
00:03:15,184 --> 00:03:16,486
Sir Charles,
is the same gang that
4
00:03:16,519 --> 00:03:17,954
pulled off the Great Train Robbery involved?
5
00:03:17,987 --> 00:03:19,355
I'm afraid
that's confidential.
6
00:03:19,389 --> 00:03:21,224
Sir Charles,
could you tell us what came of your meeting
7
00:03:21,257 --> 00:03:22,525
with the Prime Minister
this morning?
8
00:03:22,558 --> 00:03:24,060
All I can say
at this time is that
9
00:03:24,093 --> 00:03:26,829
we are bringing in someone to take
command of the entire investigation.
10
00:03:26,863 --> 00:03:27,964
An outsider?
11
00:03:27,997 --> 00:03:30,166
Well, uh, yes.
12
00:03:30,199 --> 00:03:33,202
Isn't that rather a slap in the face for Scotland Yard?
13
00:03:33,236 --> 00:03:34,871
In an emergency of
this magnitude,
14
00:03:34,904 --> 00:03:36,839
one must overlook
such minor considerations
15
00:03:36,873 --> 00:03:38,708
as to whose nose is out of joint,
mustn't one?
16
00:03:38,741 --> 00:03:41,044
Even if it is
one's own nose?
17
00:03:41,077 --> 00:03:43,680
I don't think that calls for any comment.
Are you likely to...
18
00:03:43,713 --> 00:03:45,381
When do you expect this man to arrive,
Sir Charles?
19
00:05:39,562 --> 00:05:43,166
On flight number 3R-523...
20
00:05:43,199 --> 00:05:45,501
Inspector Clouseau?
Shh!
21
00:05:45,535 --> 00:05:47,970
I'm Weaver,
your opposite number.
22
00:05:48,004 --> 00:05:49,839
Oh, that's Shockley.
He's Special Branch.
23
00:05:49,872 --> 00:05:51,707
Hello, sir. I'm delighted...
Keep your voice down.
24
00:05:51,741 --> 00:05:53,843
You know I'm here
on a secret mission.
25
00:05:53,876 --> 00:05:56,646
Uh, yes. Well, if you'd like to come along,
we have a car waiting.
26
00:05:56,679 --> 00:05:58,347
But I've not yet
cleared customs.
27
00:05:58,381 --> 00:05:59,816
Oh, that's all
been arranged, sir.
28
00:05:59,849 --> 00:06:01,050
Standard VIP treatment,
you see.
29
00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:02,451
Ah, but I'm no vip,
30
00:06:02,485 --> 00:06:04,120
and therefore, I must
go through customs
31
00:06:04,153 --> 00:06:05,388
like any humble
French tourist.
32
00:06:05,421 --> 00:06:06,722
Honestly, sir,
I assure you...
33
00:06:06,756 --> 00:06:08,191
That is my cover,
you fool.
34
00:06:10,726 --> 00:06:12,361
Have you anything
to declare?
35
00:06:12,395 --> 00:06:15,231
No, no. I'm just you average,
typical French tourist
36
00:06:15,264 --> 00:06:17,066
on a humble English vacation.
37
00:06:17,099 --> 00:06:19,168
Good.
Can I see your passport
38
00:06:19,202 --> 00:06:20,870
and your debarking ticket?
39
00:06:20,903 --> 00:06:22,071
Yes, of course.
40
00:06:25,741 --> 00:06:27,844
I have it right here.
I never travel without...
41
00:06:31,247 --> 00:06:32,682
Come along now, sir.
42
00:06:32,715 --> 00:06:35,184
But you have not yet
seen my passport!
43
00:06:35,218 --> 00:06:36,719
I--I have this...
44
00:06:36,752 --> 00:06:38,221
Hey, look at this!
45
00:06:38,254 --> 00:06:40,756
Don't--Don't grab me
by the right arm like that!
46
00:06:45,895 --> 00:06:47,230
At the outset,
Clouseau,
47
00:06:47,263 --> 00:06:49,832
I think it only fair to...
48
00:06:49,866 --> 00:06:52,869
I think it only fair to say that your
being brought in on this case
49
00:06:52,902 --> 00:06:54,403
was not my idea.
50
00:06:54,437 --> 00:06:56,539
You are too modest.
51
00:06:56,572 --> 00:06:59,041
The Prime Minister
insisted.
52
00:06:59,075 --> 00:07:02,178
Personally, as head of the British
law-enforcing establishment,
53
00:07:02,211 --> 00:07:03,880
I can only regard
your presence here
54
00:07:03,913 --> 00:07:05,548
as a vote of no confidence.
55
00:07:05,581 --> 00:07:08,417
And I, on the other hand,
am extremely confident.
56
00:07:08,451 --> 00:07:10,019
Not overconfident, I trust.
57
00:07:10,052 --> 00:07:11,687
No, no, no.
58
00:07:11,721 --> 00:07:13,789
Not, uh,
not overconfident.
59
00:07:13,823 --> 00:07:16,058
Good. I'm glad
to hear that.
60
00:07:16,092 --> 00:07:19,395
We know that the 2.5 million pounds stolen...
61
00:07:21,731 --> 00:07:24,066
stolen in our
Great Train Robbery
62
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:26,269
are being used
as operating capital
63
00:07:26,302 --> 00:07:27,770
for a far more
ambitious crime.
64
00:07:27,803 --> 00:07:29,372
Bigger than 2.5 million?
65
00:07:29,405 --> 00:07:31,774
Well, we seem to be dealing with very greedy people.
66
00:07:31,807 --> 00:07:33,543
Greedy and ruthless.
67
00:07:33,576 --> 00:07:35,945
You are the fourth to be placed
in charge of this operation
68
00:07:35,978 --> 00:07:38,047
in the past six months.
69
00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:42,118
Well, it seems that Scotland Yard
has had a run of unfortunate luck,
70
00:07:42,151 --> 00:07:44,654
but...
Despite our unfortunate luck,
71
00:07:47,189 --> 00:07:50,493
we have managed to apprehend
a dozen of the gang,
72
00:07:50,526 --> 00:07:52,728
including three
of their top men.
73
00:07:52,762 --> 00:07:53,930
I'll show you.
74
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,803
You may well be acquainted
with some of them.
75
00:08:05,207 --> 00:08:06,809
As you know,
only yesterday
76
00:08:06,842 --> 00:08:08,411
two of these men
escaped from prison.
77
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,146
One of them
was Frenchy Lebec.
78
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:11,948
It's a familiar face.
79
00:08:12,782 --> 00:08:15,685
The other was Steve Frey.
80
00:08:15,718 --> 00:08:19,021
And the one still remaining in custody is Addison Steele.
81
00:08:19,055 --> 00:08:22,291
Perhaps I should question that
pleasant-looking Mr. Steele.
82
00:08:22,325 --> 00:08:24,927
Don't be fooled
by his looks.
83
00:08:24,961 --> 00:08:26,896
He can spot a detective
a mile away.
84
00:08:30,666 --> 00:08:33,402
But then,
you don't look much like a detective, do you?
85
00:08:34,337 --> 00:08:35,571
I try not to.
86
00:08:38,574 --> 00:08:39,642
Good.
87
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:46,349
I don't have to tell you
that in our line of work
88
00:08:48,851 --> 00:08:50,820
anonymity is a virtue.
89
00:08:50,853 --> 00:08:52,355
Any fool knows that.
90
00:08:52,388 --> 00:08:54,523
Anonymity is
next to cleanliness
91
00:08:54,557 --> 00:08:58,327
and I don't have to tell you what that's next to.
92
00:08:58,361 --> 00:09:00,830
No, but I have to tell you that
we have recently discovered
93
00:09:00,863 --> 00:09:03,499
a security leak in
this very department.
94
00:09:03,532 --> 00:09:05,501
In this very department?
95
00:09:05,534 --> 00:09:07,103
That is why you are here.
96
00:09:08,571 --> 00:09:09,739
The thought was,
97
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,078
since you couldn't be the traitor,
we can trust you.
98
00:09:16,912 --> 00:09:18,014
But you...
99
00:09:20,282 --> 00:09:22,518
But you must trust no one.
100
00:09:22,551 --> 00:09:24,687
The viper in our bosom
could be anyone.
101
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,057
Anyone. I suspect everyone.
102
00:09:28,090 --> 00:09:30,626
Good. You will report
only to me.
103
00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,632
And what makes you think
I trust you?
104
00:10:19,909 --> 00:10:21,444
Be right with you.
105
00:10:21,477 --> 00:10:22,611
Don't rush.
106
00:10:25,414 --> 00:10:27,583
Don't worry. I never do.
107
00:10:36,492 --> 00:10:37,526
There.
108
00:10:40,429 --> 00:10:41,964
Now,
109
00:10:41,997 --> 00:10:44,600
like I said,
if you just comb it out every morning,
110
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:46,836
you'll keep the line and still have plenty of movement
111
00:10:46,869 --> 00:10:48,971
round the face,
you see what I... Hmm.
112
00:10:50,206 --> 00:10:51,974
I said
I'll be right with you.
113
00:10:52,875 --> 00:10:54,710
And I said, "Don't rush."
114
00:10:55,945 --> 00:10:59,648
And I said, "Don't worry.
I never do."
115
00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:12,962
Oh, that's excellent, Steele.
116
00:11:12,995 --> 00:11:15,297
Excellent,
I like that very much.
117
00:11:19,568 --> 00:11:21,470
You know, you missed
your vocation.
118
00:11:21,504 --> 00:11:23,005
Oh, glad you like it.
119
00:11:23,038 --> 00:11:24,406
You do
a marvelous job.
120
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,510
You call that
a prison haircut?
121
00:11:27,543 --> 00:11:29,945
Special privileges.
122
00:11:29,979 --> 00:11:33,849
You might say the, um,
warden and I are as thick as thieves.
123
00:11:33,883 --> 00:11:36,785
And this favoritism,
how long has it been going on?
124
00:11:36,819 --> 00:11:38,120
For 23 years.
125
00:11:38,154 --> 00:11:40,322
You must have murdered
your pediatrician.
126
00:11:40,356 --> 00:11:41,690
Oh, they would never
have caught me
127
00:11:41,724 --> 00:11:44,059
but for my fingerprints
on the water pistol.
128
00:11:46,495 --> 00:11:47,863
I shall let that pass
129
00:11:47,897 --> 00:11:49,365
since you cannot
possibly know
130
00:11:49,398 --> 00:11:51,834
whose leg it is
that you are pushing.
131
00:11:57,206 --> 00:11:59,842
Do look after him,
won't you, Steele, old dear?
132
00:11:59,875 --> 00:12:01,710
I doubt if your razor's
sharp enough
133
00:12:01,744 --> 00:12:03,679
for the famous
Inspector Clouseau.
134
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:09,985
Smart young criminal.
135
00:12:10,019 --> 00:12:13,088
He's the warden's son.
Quite a joker.
136
00:12:27,369 --> 00:12:29,104
The warden's son, eh?
137
00:12:29,138 --> 00:12:31,707
He should have known better
than to reveal my identity
138
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,542
to a hardened criminal
like you.
139
00:12:33,576 --> 00:12:37,112
We hardened criminals follow your
career with great interest, Inspector.
140
00:12:37,146 --> 00:12:39,348
Oh, ho, ho. As I yours.
141
00:12:39,381 --> 00:12:41,717
Sit down,
I'll give you a shave.
142
00:12:41,750 --> 00:12:44,386
And now, since we are
becoming so chummy,
143
00:12:44,420 --> 00:12:47,356
perhaps you will tell me everything you
know about the Great Train Robbery, eh?
144
00:12:47,389 --> 00:12:48,757
I don't know nothing.
145
00:12:49,992 --> 00:12:52,027
He who don't
know nothing
146
00:12:52,061 --> 00:12:54,230
knows something, eh?
147
00:12:54,263 --> 00:12:57,066
Perhaps even how to
mastermind a robbery, eh?
148
00:12:57,099 --> 00:13:00,903
Well, if you want to know about the mastermind,
don't talk to me.
149
00:13:00,936 --> 00:13:02,605
Talk to Johnny Rainbow.
150
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:06,075
And, uh, who is this
Johnny Rainbow?
151
00:13:10,913 --> 00:13:13,315
Well, it's just
a code name really.
152
00:13:15,684 --> 00:13:17,920
None of us ever
met him face-to-face.
153
00:13:19,822 --> 00:13:21,991
Now, uh,
154
00:13:22,024 --> 00:13:24,893
this is going to be
a little bit hot.
155
00:13:24,927 --> 00:13:27,896
I don't mind.
In the words of Robespierre...
156
00:13:30,933 --> 00:13:33,802
Just take a few
deep breaths. That's it.
157
00:13:33,836 --> 00:13:35,571
Breathe in very deeply.
158
00:13:35,604 --> 00:13:37,906
A bit more.
159
00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:40,476
That's right. There you go.
160
00:14:04,466 --> 00:14:07,703
Well, I think you'll be pleased with
these items that you requested.
161
00:14:07,736 --> 00:14:10,039
Our chaps took some liberties with your specifications
162
00:14:10,072 --> 00:14:12,174
that I think
will delight you.
163
00:14:12,207 --> 00:14:15,978
Ah, the smoke-signal matches
that you asked for.
164
00:14:16,011 --> 00:14:19,715
Oh, yes, wonderful thing
to have them.
165
00:14:19,748 --> 00:14:21,884
Now, this you must
watch very carefully.
166
00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:23,886
Looks like an ordinary
cigarette lighter
167
00:14:23,919 --> 00:14:26,889
but it is, in fact,
a high-intensity laser-beam transmitter.
168
00:14:27,423 --> 00:14:28,691
Ingenious.
169
00:14:30,192 --> 00:14:32,995
Oh, yes. Just what
the doctor ordered. There.
170
00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:35,698
My, my.
171
00:14:35,731 --> 00:14:37,566
And what kind of
a thing is this?
172
00:14:40,569 --> 00:14:42,037
That's my razor.
173
00:14:53,682 --> 00:14:55,184
Normal cigarette case.
174
00:14:56,352 --> 00:14:58,554
Here we have
a high-frequency transmitter
175
00:14:58,587 --> 00:15:00,689
with built-in ADC.
176
00:15:00,723 --> 00:15:03,559
On the other side, an enclosed
microphone and speaker.
177
00:15:03,592 --> 00:15:04,760
Wonderful thing.
178
00:15:04,793 --> 00:15:06,528
With a self-starting
tape recorder.
179
00:15:06,562 --> 00:15:08,197
Say something.
Uh?
180
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:09,498
Just say something.
181
00:15:09,531 --> 00:15:10,933
What?
Anything you like.
182
00:15:10,966 --> 00:15:13,502
No, I... No, no,
I have a phobia for recording devices.
183
00:15:13,535 --> 00:15:14,903
No, no, please.
I just want to test...
184
00:15:14,937 --> 00:15:16,772
I really don't like
to use them.
185
00:15:16,805 --> 00:15:19,041
Why? I mean,
I'm only just trying to show you the machine, that's all.
186
00:15:19,074 --> 00:15:20,542
No, I get
embarrassed, if...
187
00:15:20,576 --> 00:15:22,878
No, don't be embarrassed.
Just say anything you like. Just...
188
00:15:22,911 --> 00:15:24,279
♪ Paris in the spring's
189
00:15:24,313 --> 00:15:26,382
♪ A wonder to behold
190
00:15:26,415 --> 00:15:30,185
♪ The streets are lined
with gold in Paris ♪
191
00:15:30,219 --> 00:15:32,287
♪ My love
jump in the Seine ♪
192
00:15:32,321 --> 00:15:34,890
♪ And it drove me insane
193
00:15:34,923 --> 00:15:37,926
♪ If I may be so bold ♪
194
00:15:38,761 --> 00:15:40,896
It's a song.
195
00:15:40,929 --> 00:15:43,065
Yes, thank you. Very good.
196
00:15:43,999 --> 00:15:46,568
I'll just wind it back.
197
00:15:51,473 --> 00:15:53,475
♪ Paris in the spring's
198
00:15:53,509 --> 00:15:55,144
♪ A wonder to behold
199
00:15:57,446 --> 00:15:59,882
♪ ...gold in Paris
200
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:03,218
♪ My love jump in the Seine,And it drove me insane ♪
201
00:16:03,252 --> 00:16:05,421
♪ If I may be so bold ♪
202
00:16:05,454 --> 00:16:07,890
Yes, not too much
bass at all.
203
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:11,760
It's just some little technical fault,
I'm sure you'll sort it out.
204
00:16:11,794 --> 00:16:15,364
Uh... Oh, yes, yes.
There was something. Uh...
205
00:16:16,832 --> 00:16:19,568
I want you to take
a good look at me.
206
00:16:19,601 --> 00:16:22,838
Have you noticed anything peculiar about me?
207
00:16:22,871 --> 00:16:25,641
No, but then you can't always tell by looking,
can you?
208
00:16:26,508 --> 00:16:28,177
I was referring
to my dress.
209
00:16:28,677 --> 00:16:30,112
Your dress.
210
00:16:30,145 --> 00:16:32,681
Now, look. Here, catch.
211
00:16:32,714 --> 00:16:35,317
Now, you are armed, correct?
You're correct.
212
00:16:35,350 --> 00:16:37,486
Let us assume that
you want to arrest me.
213
00:16:37,519 --> 00:16:40,355
Very well.
You are under arrest.
214
00:16:40,389 --> 00:16:43,525
Oh no, no, no, no.
See, play the...
215
00:16:43,559 --> 00:16:45,761
Look, let us assume
that I resist.
216
00:16:45,794 --> 00:16:48,030
Well, then you would be
a very foolish fellow
217
00:16:48,063 --> 00:16:49,965
because I'm a deadly shot
with a pistol.
218
00:16:49,998 --> 00:16:52,501
Yes, but how long
would it take you
219
00:16:52,534 --> 00:16:54,603
to reach your pistol?
Too late!
220
00:16:56,839 --> 00:16:58,507
You'd be a dead man,
Clouseau.
221
00:16:58,540 --> 00:16:59,875
Remarkable!
222
00:16:59,908 --> 00:17:01,176
No hands. But...
223
00:17:02,911 --> 00:17:04,680
Observe my belt. You see?
224
00:17:04,713 --> 00:17:07,316
Three .22s.
Miniature missiles.
225
00:17:07,349 --> 00:17:10,986
Fires with deadly accuracy up
to a distance of 500 yards.
226
00:17:11,019 --> 00:17:13,655
What a wonderful,
wonderful, uh, thing.
227
00:17:14,089 --> 00:17:15,157
Yes.
228
00:17:15,858 --> 00:17:17,493
Not bad is it, eh?
229
00:17:18,060 --> 00:17:19,995
Quite ingenious.
230
00:17:20,028 --> 00:17:23,532
It's, uh, all done
with the stomach muscles.
231
00:17:23,565 --> 00:17:25,634
Do you, uh... Do you think
you'll get the hang of it?
232
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:29,304
Yes, oh, yes. I have a photographic memory,
you know. Allow me.
233
00:17:37,079 --> 00:17:38,580
Look out for your pipe!
234
00:17:49,057 --> 00:17:52,728
Oh! That's... That's some wonderful,
wonderful underwear.
235
00:17:54,563 --> 00:17:57,566
In the event that anyone should
ever want to throw you into the sea.
236
00:17:57,599 --> 00:17:59,868
Yes, but you know,
how do you, uh...
237
00:17:59,902 --> 00:18:01,870
How do you
have it laundered?
238
00:18:01,904 --> 00:18:04,239
Well, I should recommend dry cleaning,
you stupid...
239
00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:09,244
Well, with your equipment
and my finesse,
240
00:18:09,278 --> 00:18:11,413
we're going to give those crooks
a run for their money, eh?
241
00:18:11,446 --> 00:18:13,115
Our money! Our money.
242
00:18:13,148 --> 00:18:14,716
Yes, well, of course.
You're right.
243
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:17,252
Yes, I'm always right.
It is a problem with me.
244
00:18:17,286 --> 00:18:20,122
Yes, strange. I too...
245
00:18:20,155 --> 00:18:21,523
I too have
that problem.
246
00:18:21,557 --> 00:18:25,294
Yes, we have a lot in common.
Oh, yes.
247
00:18:25,327 --> 00:18:27,796
Our lives, in the game
of crime and punishment,
248
00:18:27,829 --> 00:18:31,466
are bound like lovers
inextricably together.
249
00:18:33,936 --> 00:18:35,003
It's a poem.
250
00:18:38,307 --> 00:18:40,542
You ought to
meet my wife.
251
00:18:40,576 --> 00:18:43,412
Your queen did not bring me
here to socialize.
252
00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:45,714
I didn't mean my queen,
I meant my wife.
253
00:18:45,747 --> 00:18:48,083
I didn't mean your queen,
I meant your wife.
254
00:18:49,418 --> 00:18:50,719
You don't know my wife.
255
00:18:50,752 --> 00:18:52,921
But I'd be delighted.
Shall we say 8:00?
256
00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:57,159
Dinner?
Charmed, I'm sure.
257
00:19:07,603 --> 00:19:10,906
There he is.
Let us run him down now.
258
00:19:10,939 --> 00:19:13,442
Don't be stupid, Frenchy.
259
00:19:13,475 --> 00:19:15,143
In front of Weaver's house?
260
00:19:34,796 --> 00:19:37,165
Oh, good evening.
You must be the Inspector. Good evening.
261
00:19:37,199 --> 00:19:38,767
Yes, I must.
I am Lisa.
262
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,169
Ah, well, then you must
call me Jacques.
263
00:19:41,203 --> 00:19:43,472
And I hope you don't mind
your husband inviting me here
264
00:19:43,505 --> 00:19:45,707
on such short notice.
Oh, I'm not Mrs. Weaver.
265
00:19:45,741 --> 00:19:48,243
I'm Lisa Morell.
Haven't you been told?
266
00:19:48,910 --> 00:19:51,013
No, but, uh,
267
00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:52,981
then I like to
find out for myself.
268
00:19:53,915 --> 00:19:55,984
I must see you alone.
269
00:19:56,018 --> 00:19:58,053
Yes, well,
that's the only way.
270
00:19:58,086 --> 00:20:00,622
But this isn't
the proper place.
271
00:20:00,656 --> 00:20:02,391
Right, well,
then let's run away
272
00:20:02,424 --> 00:20:03,892
till before they know
that I'm here.
273
00:20:03,925 --> 00:20:06,795
No, I can't leave now.
Trust me.
274
00:20:06,828 --> 00:20:09,331
Yes, I do. I trust you
to the ends of the earth.
275
00:20:10,565 --> 00:20:11,600
Ah.
276
00:20:20,575 --> 00:20:22,411
Come on.
Thank you, thank you.
277
00:20:23,578 --> 00:20:25,213
Well, I see
you've met Lisa.
278
00:20:25,247 --> 00:20:28,050
Yes, I have,
you sly dog, you.
279
00:20:28,083 --> 00:20:30,052
She's our au pair.
Can I have your coat?
280
00:20:30,085 --> 00:20:32,187
Yes, of course.
281
00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:34,856
What will you have to drink?
Small sherry, perhaps.
282
00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:38,226
Lisa, would you get the Inspector
a glass of small sherry?
283
00:20:38,260 --> 00:20:40,095
If that's an example
of your maid,
284
00:20:40,128 --> 00:20:41,997
then your wife must
really be something.
285
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:45,067
Ooh!
286
00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:48,704
Could this lovely creature
be your famous French friend?
287
00:20:48,737 --> 00:20:50,172
Oh, Weaver,
how could you?
288
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:52,174
Well, I haven't,
old boy, not in years.
289
00:20:52,207 --> 00:20:53,675
What are you
muttering about, Weaver?
290
00:20:53,709 --> 00:20:55,711
Just shop talk, my love.
Just shop talk.
291
00:20:55,744 --> 00:20:57,279
Inspector, may I
present my wife.
292
00:20:57,312 --> 00:20:59,514
Yes, what a
delightful surprise.
293
00:20:59,548 --> 00:21:01,083
My wife's
a mite Scottish.
294
00:21:01,116 --> 00:21:03,118
Ah, yes,
lovely people, uh...
295
00:21:03,151 --> 00:21:06,421
Robert Burns, cashmere sweaters,
the Loch Ness monster.
296
00:21:06,455 --> 00:21:09,024
What's for dinner, dearie?
Nothing.
297
00:21:09,057 --> 00:21:11,193
Are you out of
your tiny mind?
298
00:21:11,226 --> 00:21:13,462
It's the opening of
the Highland Fair tonight
299
00:21:13,495 --> 00:21:16,231
and I am the President of the
Daughters of the Heath and Heather.
300
00:21:16,264 --> 00:21:18,200
But what about our guest?
I promised him dinner.
301
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:19,801
No, no,
don' t trouble yourself.
302
00:21:19,835 --> 00:21:21,303
I'm sure Miss Lisa
could fix me a bite.
303
00:21:21,336 --> 00:21:23,071
Oh, yes. I can do
a very good omelet.
304
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:25,707
Oh, no!
They have gorgeous goodies at the fair.
305
00:21:25,741 --> 00:21:29,344
Come along now.
I will not hear another word about it. Come along.
306
00:22:33,909 --> 00:22:36,711
D-Down! Okay, okay,
down on the ground.
307
00:22:44,686 --> 00:22:46,855
May I haveyour attention, please?
308
00:22:46,888 --> 00:22:49,791
It's time to announcethe grand door prize.
309
00:22:49,825 --> 00:22:51,226
The door prize.
310
00:22:51,259 --> 00:22:54,196
The winning ticketis number 175.
311
00:22:54,229 --> 00:22:57,232
I repeat, 175.
312
00:22:57,265 --> 00:22:58,700
Who's the lucky winner?
313
00:22:58,733 --> 00:23:01,336
Where's my ticket?
I have it!
314
00:23:01,369 --> 00:23:03,538
175. I have it!
315
00:23:03,572 --> 00:23:05,073
I won the prize!
316
00:23:14,883 --> 00:23:18,220
Oh!
Oh, good gracious me.
317
00:23:18,253 --> 00:23:20,689
Shooting may be an everyday occurrence to you,
318
00:23:20,722 --> 00:23:22,757
but it's left me
quite unstrung.
319
00:23:22,791 --> 00:23:24,492
Don't, don't.
320
00:23:24,526 --> 00:23:26,595
Don't touch my pudding.
And I suggest
321
00:23:26,628 --> 00:23:28,196
that you go upstairs
and go to bed.
322
00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:29,865
No, I've got
a better idea.
323
00:23:29,898 --> 00:23:32,033
I'll--I'll just get out
of my tweeds,
324
00:23:32,067 --> 00:23:35,537
put on something loose,
and you pour me out a wee half of whiskey.
325
00:23:35,570 --> 00:23:37,439
But that girl is going to
tell your husband.
326
00:23:37,472 --> 00:23:39,441
Oh, if I know anything
about that wee soul,
327
00:23:39,474 --> 00:23:41,076
she'll be sound asleep
in her bed.
328
00:23:41,109 --> 00:23:42,944
And Weaver'll be
hours at the morgue,
329
00:23:42,978 --> 00:23:47,883
filling in forms, etc.
Oh, well.
330
00:23:47,916 --> 00:23:51,186
I'll be down in two shakes of a donkey's tail.
331
00:23:51,219 --> 00:23:52,420
Don't rush.
332
00:23:54,322 --> 00:23:55,423
Lisa?
333
00:23:56,291 --> 00:23:57,425
Lisa?
334
00:23:57,459 --> 00:23:59,461
Here I am.
335
00:23:59,494 --> 00:24:02,397
Look. Look what I won at the fiesta.
A plum pudding.
336
00:24:02,430 --> 00:24:04,266
I thought maybe you and I
could run away
337
00:24:04,299 --> 00:24:05,901
and--and we share it
together.
338
00:24:05,934 --> 00:24:07,569
Something very important
has just come up.
339
00:24:07,602 --> 00:24:08,970
I have to leave.
Wait, wait.
340
00:24:09,004 --> 00:24:11,373
I'm going to come with you.
No, you must stay here
341
00:24:11,406 --> 00:24:13,441
and distract Mrs. Weaver.
It's important.
342
00:24:13,475 --> 00:24:16,378
I can't-- I can't stand Mrs. Weaver.
She drives me crazy.
343
00:24:16,411 --> 00:24:19,047
I've waited all evening to be here with you.
And so have I.
344
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,715
Don't be impatient, dear.
345
00:24:20,749 --> 00:24:22,550
It'll not be long now.
346
00:24:23,818 --> 00:24:26,054
That's her.
I really must go.
347
00:24:26,087 --> 00:24:27,255
Take care.
Yes.
348
00:25:04,993 --> 00:25:06,695
Oh, you bad, wee boy.
349
00:25:06,728 --> 00:25:09,264
Where's that drink you were going to pour for me?
350
00:25:09,297 --> 00:25:12,367
I looked all over for it.
I can't find any whiskey anywhere.
351
00:25:15,036 --> 00:25:17,539
Yeah, what an ingenious place to keep liquor.
352
00:25:20,842 --> 00:25:22,444
Oh, dear.
353
00:25:22,477 --> 00:25:24,245
Here we are.
354
00:25:28,249 --> 00:25:29,651
There we are.
355
00:25:30,585 --> 00:25:31,920
That's it.
356
00:25:34,723 --> 00:25:35,690
To us.
357
00:25:41,763 --> 00:25:45,567
Well, it's time for me to take my leave,
dear lady. I...
358
00:25:47,702 --> 00:25:49,204
I must get my beauty rest.
359
00:25:52,741 --> 00:25:54,376
Oh, the excitement.
360
00:25:54,409 --> 00:25:55,710
The time has come...
361
00:25:55,744 --> 00:25:57,545
Why, you're shy.
362
00:25:57,579 --> 00:26:00,648
Your husband.
You fool, you crazy idiot!
363
00:26:00,682 --> 00:26:02,417
Get away!
Good, good!
364
00:26:04,185 --> 00:26:06,021
Are you Inspector Clouseau? Yes.
365
00:26:06,054 --> 00:26:08,223
Commissioner Braithwaite
sent me to fetch you.
366
00:26:08,256 --> 00:26:09,724
What took you so long?
367
00:26:09,758 --> 00:26:11,826
Well, dear lady, it's been
a wonderful evening.
368
00:26:11,860 --> 00:26:14,229
No. But don't rush.
My only regret is that
369
00:26:14,262 --> 00:26:16,564
I can't stay around anymore.
C'est la vie.
370
00:26:18,133 --> 00:26:20,135
That's a sick lady in there.
371
00:26:21,403 --> 00:26:22,537
He's coming.
372
00:26:37,419 --> 00:26:39,154
Inspector Clouseau,
isn't it?
373
00:26:39,988 --> 00:26:41,790
Leave it. Let's get out.
374
00:26:43,158 --> 00:26:46,428
Clyde Hargreaves.
Blackpool Prison.
375
00:26:46,461 --> 00:26:48,063
Oh, yes, the son
of the warden.
376
00:26:48,096 --> 00:26:49,898
The one with
the warped sense of humor.
377
00:26:49,931 --> 00:26:52,300
And you still
need a haircut.
378
00:26:52,333 --> 00:26:56,071
I don't think you'll find many laughs in there, Inspector.
379
00:26:56,104 --> 00:26:59,040
There is a time for laughing and a time for not laughing.
380
00:26:59,074 --> 00:27:01,009
And this is
not one of them.
381
00:27:02,077 --> 00:27:03,011
Yes.
382
00:27:05,246 --> 00:27:06,247
Yes.
383
00:27:31,339 --> 00:27:33,241
What's that?
It's my plum pudding.
384
00:27:33,274 --> 00:27:35,510
I won it at a picnic.
385
00:27:35,543 --> 00:27:39,013
Yes, I heard about
your successful evening.
386
00:27:39,047 --> 00:27:42,117
Weaver telephoned me from the
mortuary and told me all about it.
387
00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:43,751
You know, well,
it was nothing, you know.
388
00:27:43,785 --> 00:27:45,687
I just had the winning ticket,
that's all.
389
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:48,523
Mmm! I can't wait to take
a bite from this thing.
390
00:27:48,556 --> 00:27:50,024
Well, never mind.
How do they make...
391
00:27:50,058 --> 00:27:51,860
Never mind.
How do they make it such a round...
392
00:27:51,893 --> 00:27:54,429
How do they... Clouseau,
don't worry about the plum pudding now.
393
00:27:54,462 --> 00:27:57,132
From what I gather,
you behaved disgracefully this evening.
394
00:27:57,165 --> 00:27:59,801
Drinking on duty,
flirting with woman after woman,
395
00:28:00,802 --> 00:28:03,972
even reciting
vulgar limericks.
396
00:28:04,005 --> 00:28:08,042
Yes, well, life is not all shoot-shoot, bang-bang,
you know.
397
00:28:08,076 --> 00:28:10,478
Nevertheless, you elected to shoot a man tonight,
didn't you?
398
00:28:10,512 --> 00:28:11,713
Yes, I did.
399
00:28:11,746 --> 00:28:13,848
Thereby
revealing your identity.
400
00:28:13,882 --> 00:28:16,151
You're correct.
401
00:28:16,184 --> 00:28:17,886
Well, I'm afraid that
the way that you work
402
00:28:17,919 --> 00:28:19,954
are not the ways that we work here at Scotland Yard.
403
00:28:19,988 --> 00:28:22,857
Well, of course not.
Uh, that's why you brought me from the Surete.
404
00:28:22,891 --> 00:28:24,692
If you could
solve your own mess,
405
00:28:24,726 --> 00:28:26,694
you wouldn't need me here,
would you?
406
00:28:26,728 --> 00:28:28,129
Allow me.
407
00:28:28,163 --> 00:28:29,964
What the devil do you
think you're doing?
408
00:28:29,998 --> 00:28:31,633
Braithwaite!
Put it out.
409
00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:33,401
Put it out, sir!
Take it away!
410
00:28:37,705 --> 00:28:39,741
Where there's a will,
there's a way.
411
00:28:44,012 --> 00:28:46,214
I've nursed this bottle
since Dunkirk.
412
00:28:48,850 --> 00:28:51,219
Now listen, Clouseau,
I've had enough of this.
413
00:28:51,252 --> 00:28:53,521
You should never
have shot Frenchy Lebec.
414
00:28:54,889 --> 00:28:57,025
You could have brought him
in for questioning
415
00:28:57,058 --> 00:29:00,094
and then we might have gained
some valuable information.
416
00:29:00,128 --> 00:29:02,697
But, oh, no, not you.
417
00:29:02,730 --> 00:29:04,399
You have to go and get yourself involved in some
418
00:29:04,432 --> 00:29:06,267
idiotic Highland shenanigan.
419
00:29:06,301 --> 00:29:09,270
It's utterly disgusting!
Do you hear me?
420
00:29:09,304 --> 00:29:12,106
I don't talk to you
when you're like this.
421
00:29:12,140 --> 00:29:14,242
I'll come back
when we can discuss this
422
00:29:14,275 --> 00:29:17,412
in an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding.
423
00:29:18,746 --> 00:29:19,914
Good evening.
424
00:29:30,825 --> 00:29:33,094
Will you take
some notes, please?
425
00:29:34,796 --> 00:29:38,900
A: What are the facts
at our disposal?
426
00:29:38,933 --> 00:29:42,403
B: Let's get down to
the facts at our disposal.
427
00:29:42,437 --> 00:29:45,740
C: We know that
there has been a robbery.
428
00:29:45,773 --> 00:29:47,909
D: We know also
that certain people
429
00:29:47,942 --> 00:29:50,378
are going to
commit this robbery.
430
00:29:50,411 --> 00:29:52,447
I think we can
safely assume that.
431
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,750
We know that there are people
going to commit this robbery,
432
00:29:55,783 --> 00:29:58,720
we know also that they must get out of the way
433
00:29:58,753 --> 00:30:00,989
the people who are
trying to prevent them
434
00:30:01,022 --> 00:30:02,624
from committing this robbery.
435
00:30:02,657 --> 00:30:04,759
And that would be you.
Me?
436
00:30:04,792 --> 00:30:06,561
What do they want
to get me for?
437
00:30:06,594 --> 00:30:08,663
Well, they have already made one attempt on your life.
438
00:30:08,696 --> 00:30:09,797
So they have.
439
00:30:10,498 --> 00:30:12,533
Hmm, well.
440
00:30:14,469 --> 00:30:17,572
You see how much we have,
uh, learned already?
441
00:30:17,605 --> 00:30:20,241
Gosh, that's marvelous!
Well, let's-- let's press on on those lines.
442
00:30:20,275 --> 00:30:22,343
Yes, let's press on that line.
443
00:30:22,377 --> 00:30:24,912
Since they've already made
an attempt at my life,
444
00:30:24,946 --> 00:30:27,015
and it has come to
no fruition whatsoever,
445
00:30:27,048 --> 00:30:28,650
Yes?
...they will try
446
00:30:28,683 --> 00:30:30,018
A more parabolic approach.
447
00:30:30,051 --> 00:30:32,520
They will attack me on the bias.
Am I correct in this?
448
00:30:32,553 --> 00:30:34,589
On the bias?
On the bias,
449
00:30:34,622 --> 00:30:36,758
which means that
they will not attack me,
450
00:30:36,791 --> 00:30:39,594
but will attack something that I love
more than anything else in the world.
451
00:30:39,627 --> 00:30:41,195
And what...
452
00:30:41,229 --> 00:30:43,364
What do I love more than anything else in the world?
What does one...
453
00:30:43,398 --> 00:30:45,700
What?
454
00:30:45,733 --> 00:30:49,037
Food!
I love food more than anything in the world.
455
00:30:49,070 --> 00:30:52,173
So they will not attack me,
they will attack...
456
00:30:52,206 --> 00:30:55,176
Devils!
They are going to get me!
457
00:30:55,209 --> 00:30:57,745
My plum...
My plum pudding!
458
00:31:07,989 --> 00:31:09,991
Sergeant,
get this gun over here.
459
00:31:15,196 --> 00:31:18,766
Wait. Wait for me.
Wait. I--I have to...
460
00:31:26,574 --> 00:31:28,009
What's all the excitement
about, eh?
461
00:31:28,042 --> 00:31:29,243
Here, let me
help you, Inspector.
462
00:31:29,277 --> 00:31:30,411
What are you doing?
463
00:31:30,445 --> 00:31:32,313
I'm saving your lives,
you fools!
464
00:31:32,347 --> 00:31:36,217
And you,
get with your-- with your loved ones and family.
465
00:31:36,250 --> 00:31:37,819
And--And all
the rest of you,
466
00:31:37,852 --> 00:31:39,887
clear out of this
neck of the woods!
467
00:31:47,528 --> 00:31:51,933
And don't-- don't break anything unless it's absolutely...
468
00:31:51,966 --> 00:31:53,868
Get back! I told...
469
00:31:53,901 --> 00:31:56,571
I don't know
how many times.
470
00:31:56,604 --> 00:31:59,874
And, I'm sorry, I say,
I--I don't want you in...
471
00:32:01,209 --> 00:32:04,545
...in this vicinity.
And I... That's what I'm...
472
00:32:04,579 --> 00:32:07,815
Aha! I have found
the bomb!
473
00:32:14,822 --> 00:32:16,257
It is still ticking.
474
00:32:23,264 --> 00:32:24,832
I have drowned the bomb.
475
00:32:37,011 --> 00:32:39,213
It is no longer ticking.
476
00:32:39,247 --> 00:32:41,215
There's no bomb in there.
There must be.
477
00:32:41,249 --> 00:32:44,085
When--When I held it up to my ears,
I distinctly heard ticking.
478
00:32:44,118 --> 00:32:45,753
Well, i-it could
have been your wristwatch.
479
00:32:45,787 --> 00:32:46,754
Ah!
480
00:32:49,590 --> 00:32:51,058
It must not be waterproof.
481
00:32:51,092 --> 00:32:53,127
It's just
not going to work, you know.
482
00:32:53,161 --> 00:32:55,563
No, not any more, it's not.
It's good of you to concern yourself
483
00:32:55,596 --> 00:32:56,898
but I can always
buy another watch.
484
00:32:56,931 --> 00:32:58,299
I wasn't talking
about that.
485
00:32:58,332 --> 00:33:00,435
That is, if we...
If we last that long.
486
00:33:16,784 --> 00:33:18,219
Come on, give it up.
Shh!
487
00:33:25,827 --> 00:33:28,362
Aha. Aha!
488
00:33:28,396 --> 00:33:30,998
A deadly transistorized
mini-bomb!
489
00:33:31,032 --> 00:33:32,533
Looks like one of those
cyanide capsules.
490
00:33:32,567 --> 00:33:34,368
Yes, yes. A cyanide capsule.
491
00:33:34,402 --> 00:33:36,637
Well, somebody certainly seems
determined to see you dead.
492
00:33:36,671 --> 00:33:38,539
Yes, but who?
493
00:33:38,573 --> 00:33:42,210
Well, I mean,
it could be anyone at that blasted Scottish hoopdeedoo.
494
00:33:42,243 --> 00:33:44,812
Yes, but I didn't let this out of my sight till I got here
495
00:33:44,846 --> 00:33:45,913
to your club.
496
00:33:47,215 --> 00:33:49,150
Weren't there any clues
on Frenchy Lebec
497
00:33:49,183 --> 00:33:50,818
that we might be
able to use?
498
00:33:50,852 --> 00:33:52,887
These matches which I found
in his coat pocket.
499
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:54,388
Let me see those.
500
00:33:54,422 --> 00:33:56,457
Bring that man in
for questioning.
501
00:33:56,491 --> 00:33:57,992
You shot him
last night.
502
00:33:58,025 --> 00:34:00,328
Oh, yes.
The Tudor Arms?
503
00:34:00,361 --> 00:34:02,563
Inspector, perhaps we ought
to have a look at this place.
504
00:34:02,597 --> 00:34:04,365
No sooner said than done.
505
00:34:18,246 --> 00:34:19,747
Hello, can I help you?
506
00:34:20,681 --> 00:34:22,250
Thank you for stopping.
507
00:34:22,283 --> 00:34:24,519
Well, what seems
to be the trouble?
508
00:34:24,552 --> 00:34:26,654
It's my new car.
I don't know what to do.
509
00:34:26,687 --> 00:34:28,523
Do you know something
about machinery?
510
00:34:28,556 --> 00:34:30,725
I don't know something
about machinery.
511
00:34:30,758 --> 00:34:32,560
I know everything
about machinery.
512
00:34:32,593 --> 00:34:34,829
Well, what do
you suppose this does?
513
00:34:34,862 --> 00:34:36,430
Oh, yes. Well, you see,
514
00:34:36,464 --> 00:34:38,599
when this is connected
in the right place,
515
00:34:38,633 --> 00:34:40,768
it makes your
automobile move.
516
00:34:40,801 --> 00:34:43,538
Now, it either goes one of two places.
Over here,
517
00:34:43,571 --> 00:34:44,739
or over here.
518
00:34:45,907 --> 00:34:47,074
Well,
519
00:34:48,109 --> 00:34:49,744
that takes care of that.
520
00:34:49,777 --> 00:34:52,413
Did you fix it?
No, it's completely ruined.
521
00:34:52,446 --> 00:34:54,215
Can I take you somewhere?
522
00:34:54,248 --> 00:34:56,050
I suppose I ought
to make a phone call.
523
00:34:56,083 --> 00:34:59,687
Now, the nearest place
would be The Tudor Arms.
524
00:34:59,720 --> 00:35:01,756
Kismet. That's exactly
where I'm going,
525
00:35:01,789 --> 00:35:02,790
Good.
526
00:35:06,594 --> 00:35:09,397
And what brings my favorite niece
out in the dead of the night?
527
00:35:09,430 --> 00:35:12,400
What do you think happened, Uncle?
My new car broke down.
528
00:35:12,433 --> 00:35:14,969
Oh, what a pity.
529
00:35:15,002 --> 00:35:17,772
Don't just stand there grinning.
Get us some food.
530
00:35:17,805 --> 00:35:19,707
What would you like?
531
00:35:19,740 --> 00:35:21,709
Oh, uh, just a light snack
for two.
532
00:35:21,742 --> 00:35:25,613
Some smoked salmon, perhaps,
a little assorted pate,
533
00:35:25,646 --> 00:35:27,548
a little roast beef, I think.
534
00:35:27,582 --> 00:35:30,985
Then, a few vegetables, uh,
petit pois, carrots.
535
00:35:31,018 --> 00:35:32,920
Then some glace,
536
00:35:32,954 --> 00:35:36,290
a little chocolate cake perhaps, and...
I'll leave it all up to you.
537
00:35:36,324 --> 00:35:38,259
Will you have it
here or upstairs?
538
00:35:38,292 --> 00:35:40,127
Upstairs sounds cozier,
doesn't it?
539
00:35:40,161 --> 00:35:41,295
Good.
540
00:36:00,815 --> 00:36:02,383
Charming room, isn't it?
541
00:36:03,451 --> 00:36:05,353
You have been here
many times before.
542
00:36:05,386 --> 00:36:07,355
What gives you
that idea?
543
00:36:07,388 --> 00:36:09,657
The innkeeper,
you greeted him as Uncle.
544
00:36:09,690 --> 00:36:11,359
Yes, he's married
to my aunt.
545
00:36:15,563 --> 00:36:17,331
It's all very suspicious.
546
00:36:20,968 --> 00:36:22,637
I think perhaps I should
547
00:36:22,670 --> 00:36:24,538
go downstairs
and have another look.
548
00:36:24,572 --> 00:36:26,173
Oh, don't let me
stop you.
549
00:36:37,351 --> 00:36:40,221
Are you trying to keep a policeman from his duty?
550
00:36:40,254 --> 00:36:41,922
Don't you want to kiss me?
551
00:36:43,658 --> 00:36:46,460
Whether or not I wish to kiss you is beside the point.
552
00:36:46,494 --> 00:36:48,362
The thing is, I'm here
on a secret mission
553
00:36:48,396 --> 00:36:49,897
that very few people
know about
554
00:36:49,930 --> 00:36:52,633
and I am not going to be
dissuaded from my duty.
555
00:36:53,834 --> 00:36:56,037
Oh. Let me have
a breather.
556
00:36:57,004 --> 00:36:58,572
All right.
557
00:37:08,416 --> 00:37:10,384
What do you think
you're doing?
558
00:37:10,418 --> 00:37:11,986
I never want to
forget this evening.
559
00:37:12,019 --> 00:37:14,088
No, put that camera down.
560
00:37:14,121 --> 00:37:16,223
We'll have none
of that, my dear.
561
00:37:16,257 --> 00:37:19,727
You don't take a picture of me
in this disheveled condition.
562
00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:21,696
There, now you can
take a picture.
563
00:37:21,729 --> 00:37:23,431
Oh, look at that
big beauty.
564
00:37:23,464 --> 00:37:24,865
Yeah.
I love to have my picture taken.
565
00:37:24,899 --> 00:37:26,567
Right.
I would be the first one to admit that.
566
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,169
Hold it.
You want the same thing like that?
567
00:37:28,202 --> 00:37:30,204
That's it. Lovely.
Profile. About face.
568
00:37:30,237 --> 00:37:32,139
Yes.
And now, a bit serious.
569
00:37:32,807 --> 00:37:34,275
You want a half-smile.
570
00:37:34,308 --> 00:37:36,377
A half-smile
from the other side.
571
00:37:36,410 --> 00:37:37,678
Mmm-hmm.
572
00:37:37,712 --> 00:37:40,748
Now, all-the-teeth-smile.
I'll give you one of that.
573
00:37:40,781 --> 00:37:43,684
And now, I'll give you
an action photograph.
574
00:37:43,718 --> 00:37:44,885
Mmm-hmm.
575
00:37:44,919 --> 00:37:47,421
And of one caught in
the act of surprise.
576
00:37:47,455 --> 00:37:48,889
Next pose.
No, you missed that.
577
00:37:48,923 --> 00:37:50,591
Take it once more.
I've got it.
578
00:37:50,624 --> 00:37:52,259
That's the kind I like.
Next.
579
00:37:52,793 --> 00:37:54,195
Lovely.
580
00:37:58,733 --> 00:38:00,067
That ought to do it. Yes.
581
00:38:00,101 --> 00:38:01,569
Lovely. Very good.
Now listen, incidentally,
582
00:38:01,602 --> 00:38:04,739
if you're making those up,
I wouldn't mind having a few of each myself.
583
00:38:04,772 --> 00:38:06,073
I'd like to see
the proofs first and then
584
00:38:06,107 --> 00:38:08,075
I'm-- I'm sure I will
order some from you.
585
00:38:08,109 --> 00:38:09,443
I've got an idea. Yes?
586
00:38:09,477 --> 00:38:12,079
So far I've only got face shots of you.
Right.
587
00:38:12,113 --> 00:38:13,714
How about full figure?
Fine, all right.
588
00:38:13,748 --> 00:38:15,282
I'll be
more than happy...
589
00:38:15,316 --> 00:38:17,551
♪ Oh, it grabs you
by the heart ♪
590
00:38:17,585 --> 00:38:20,821
♪ You never fall apart
in Paris ♪
591
00:38:20,855 --> 00:38:22,590
♪ We argued for an hour
592
00:38:22,623 --> 00:38:24,592
♪ She jumped off
the Eiffel Tower ♪
593
00:38:24,625 --> 00:38:26,927
♪ That wasn't very smart
594
00:38:26,961 --> 00:38:28,829
♪ Paris in the spring
595
00:38:28,863 --> 00:38:30,765
♪ The world is my... ♪
596
00:38:50,384 --> 00:38:51,385
Hi.
597
00:38:55,189 --> 00:38:58,526
Uh, I don't mean to intrude
598
00:38:58,559 --> 00:39:00,528
but have you seen
anything of a girl?
599
00:39:01,128 --> 00:39:03,197
Uh, not...
600
00:39:03,230 --> 00:39:06,167
Not of course to imply that that's not what you are.
601
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:07,968
I didn't mean to imply
602
00:39:08,002 --> 00:39:12,873
that, uh... Indeed, not only
are you a girl but, uh,
603
00:39:12,907 --> 00:39:15,643
yes, indeed, a very
extraordinary one at that.
604
00:39:16,410 --> 00:39:17,578
Yes, uh...
605
00:39:18,679 --> 00:39:21,182
I don't suppose that
606
00:39:21,215 --> 00:39:24,718
you've seen anything of a tall brunette in a short slip,
have you?
607
00:39:25,186 --> 00:39:26,220
No.
608
00:39:26,587 --> 00:39:27,588
Ah.
609
00:39:34,895 --> 00:39:36,063
Yes, well.
610
00:39:37,364 --> 00:39:38,499
C'est la vie.
611
00:39:52,780 --> 00:39:53,881
Beautiful.
612
00:39:53,914 --> 00:39:55,249
You did a good job.
613
00:39:57,384 --> 00:39:59,520
Oh, I love the way
you eat.
614
00:40:00,855 --> 00:40:02,256
Like a jungle animal.
615
00:40:05,392 --> 00:40:08,562
Oyster dressing
makes me passionate.
616
00:40:08,596 --> 00:40:09,663
Mmm?
617
00:40:09,697 --> 00:40:11,365
When I eat it?
618
00:40:11,398 --> 00:40:13,934
Especially
when you eat it.
619
00:40:13,968 --> 00:40:17,905
If I didn't have this heartburn,
would you see something.
620
00:40:17,938 --> 00:40:20,507
I've got something for your heartburn.
Yes?
621
00:40:20,541 --> 00:40:21,775
Yes, a little something.
622
00:40:21,809 --> 00:40:25,613
If you just lie there,
we will, uh, soon help you.
623
00:40:25,646 --> 00:40:27,381
How's that?
Ah, that's nice.
624
00:40:27,414 --> 00:40:29,583
Is that better?
Ah, very good.
625
00:40:29,617 --> 00:40:31,118
Mmm? Better?
626
00:40:31,151 --> 00:40:33,687
Flying over Ecuador with you.
That's better, is it?
627
00:40:33,721 --> 00:40:35,222
On the back
of a giant moth...
628
00:40:35,256 --> 00:40:36,891
You're having a good trip,
are you?
629
00:40:36,924 --> 00:40:38,459
Yes, it reminds me of
630
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,896
in the barbershop.
Ah, that's better.
631
00:40:41,929 --> 00:40:43,597
They're doing it again.
You'll soon be well.
632
00:40:45,399 --> 00:40:46,634
How do you feel now?
633
00:40:46,667 --> 00:40:47,568
Help.
634
00:40:51,338 --> 00:40:52,606
Take that.
635
00:40:58,812 --> 00:40:59,847
Towel.
636
00:41:02,416 --> 00:41:03,651
All right. Okay?
637
00:41:07,922 --> 00:41:10,324
Now come on,
pat it well into the face.
638
00:41:13,327 --> 00:41:14,662
Don't
miss anything.
639
00:41:14,695 --> 00:41:16,563
This stuff
hardens very quickly.
640
00:41:25,506 --> 00:41:26,674
That should do it.
641
00:41:26,707 --> 00:41:28,208
Now, easy.
642
00:41:33,514 --> 00:41:35,349
It's loose.
643
00:41:35,382 --> 00:41:37,851
It's loose.
The bull is loose,
644
00:41:38,886 --> 00:41:40,854
I don't need a picador,
645
00:41:40,888 --> 00:41:42,823
I'll do it by myself.
646
00:41:42,856 --> 00:41:46,026
I'm going to kill the bull
by myself.
647
00:41:46,060 --> 00:41:48,662
Give me--
Give me my sword
648
00:41:48,696 --> 00:41:51,198
and I will become
the...
649
00:41:51,231 --> 00:41:54,301
Here it comes.
It's free. It's loose.
650
00:41:56,370 --> 00:41:57,838
You're magnificent.
651
00:41:57,871 --> 00:41:59,974
Ole!
Come on.
652
00:42:11,986 --> 00:42:13,887
I can't believe it.
It's true, sir.
653
00:42:13,921 --> 00:42:15,889
He claims it was all part
of his master plan.
654
00:42:15,923 --> 00:42:18,359
Well, I'm sick
of his master plan.
655
00:42:18,392 --> 00:42:21,028
And I suppose the collapsing
bed was part of our equipment.
656
00:42:21,061 --> 00:42:23,330
Oh, oh, no, sir. He--He said
he brought that with him.
657
00:42:23,364 --> 00:42:25,799
I don't want to hear
any more about this idiot.
658
00:42:25,833 --> 00:42:28,535
I--I don't claim to hold with
the man's methods either, sir,
659
00:42:28,569 --> 00:42:31,338
but you--you--you must
admit he does get results.
660
00:42:31,372 --> 00:42:34,708
I prefer the sort of results that
culminate in suspects standing trial.
661
00:42:34,742 --> 00:42:37,144
I think I may have the answer to your problem, sir.
662
00:42:37,177 --> 00:42:38,712
What, drop him
from the case?
663
00:42:38,746 --> 00:42:40,981
You know perfectly well we can't afford
to offend the French government.
664
00:42:41,015 --> 00:42:43,884
No, I didn't mean that, sir.
Well, what did you mean?
665
00:42:43,917 --> 00:42:46,754
Well, I think we ought
to have a man on the spot
666
00:42:46,787 --> 00:42:48,589
speaking the language.
667
00:42:48,622 --> 00:42:50,924
What language?
French, sir.
668
00:42:50,958 --> 00:42:52,259
Mmm?
In France.
669
00:42:52,926 --> 00:42:54,728
True, sir.
670
00:42:54,762 --> 00:42:58,332
The remains of Frenchy Lebec are being
sent back to France. To Le Havre for burial.
671
00:42:58,365 --> 00:43:00,034
Remains of who?
672
00:43:00,067 --> 00:43:01,402
Frenchy Lebec,
673
00:43:01,435 --> 00:43:03,570
the man Clouseau shotat the Highland Fling.
674
00:43:03,604 --> 00:43:04,938
Oh.
675
00:43:04,972 --> 00:43:07,941
Lebec's gang's boundto be at the funeral
676
00:43:07,975 --> 00:43:11,078
and if Clouseau happenedto be there as well,
677
00:43:11,111 --> 00:43:13,981
there's no knowing whatinformation he might turn up with.
678
00:43:25,325 --> 00:43:26,427
Follow that hearse.
679
00:43:26,460 --> 00:43:27,795
Follow it yourself.
680
00:43:30,597 --> 00:43:31,765
Get out!
681
00:43:38,105 --> 00:43:40,207
How much-- How much for your-- for your motorbike?
682
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:41,308
What?
I'll buy it.
683
00:43:41,341 --> 00:43:42,576
The bike. I'll buy it.
684
00:43:42,609 --> 00:43:44,478
Oh, oui.
I'll give you this much.
685
00:43:44,511 --> 00:43:46,380
Give it a good kick, huh?
Yes, yes.
686
00:43:46,413 --> 00:43:48,749
That's what I'm...
I'm going to...
687
00:44:06,533 --> 00:44:08,001
Stop, thief!
688
00:44:08,035 --> 00:44:10,337
Did you see that?
He stole my motorcycle.
689
00:44:10,370 --> 00:44:12,639
Oh, nowadays,
you can't trust anybody.
690
00:44:12,673 --> 00:44:13,741
Gendarmes!
691
00:44:40,033 --> 00:44:41,869
Special report
to Commissioner Braithwaite
692
00:44:41,902 --> 00:44:43,537
from Inspector
Jacques Clouseau.
693
00:44:43,570 --> 00:44:46,773
Good morning.
I am sitting in a cart full of fresh fish.
694
00:44:46,807 --> 00:44:48,642
I'm going to
follow the hearse.
695
00:44:48,675 --> 00:44:49,977
I'm leaving...
696
00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:54,515
To find the body...
697
00:44:55,582 --> 00:44:56,984
To find the final
resting place.
698
00:44:57,017 --> 00:44:58,018
I'm going.
699
00:45:22,276 --> 00:45:23,744
I can't think...
700
00:45:33,020 --> 00:45:34,087
Eh! Idiot!
701
00:45:56,443 --> 00:45:58,412
Here I am
in the graveyard
702
00:45:58,445 --> 00:46:00,681
hiding behind
a small shrub.
703
00:46:00,714 --> 00:46:03,383
I am now moving into
an advance position
704
00:46:03,417 --> 00:46:05,719
where I can
continue my reconnaissance.
705
00:46:05,752 --> 00:46:08,689
This is Jacques Clouseau
signing off.
706
00:47:03,277 --> 00:47:04,611
Oh!
707
00:47:06,647 --> 00:47:08,715
Get up. Get up.
Get off.
708
00:47:16,657 --> 00:47:17,858
My hat.
709
00:47:17,891 --> 00:47:18,725
There.
710
00:47:19,293 --> 00:47:20,160
Oh, no.
711
00:47:22,296 --> 00:47:24,665
Stand there.
Put your hands.
712
00:47:24,698 --> 00:47:25,899
Yeah, like that.
713
00:48:17,351 --> 00:48:18,485
There he is!
714
00:48:18,518 --> 00:48:20,220
That's the man
who stole my motorbike.
715
00:48:20,253 --> 00:48:22,222
Come back!
Come back here!
716
00:48:22,255 --> 00:48:23,924
Hey, you! Come back!
717
00:48:23,957 --> 00:48:25,192
Come back!
718
00:48:28,462 --> 00:48:29,696
Hey!
719
00:48:29,730 --> 00:48:32,032
Get into the car,
Jacques. Quick!
720
00:48:32,065 --> 00:48:33,567
Hold on. Can you make it?
721
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:35,035
Get into the front seat.
722
00:48:35,068 --> 00:48:37,204
Yes, I'm--
I'm trying to.
723
00:49:00,894 --> 00:49:02,029
Some policewoman.
724
00:49:03,463 --> 00:49:05,932
Listen, if you don't believe
that I'm a member of Interpol,
725
00:49:05,966 --> 00:49:07,067
go in there
and ask them.
726
00:49:07,100 --> 00:49:09,736
You, a member of
the international police?
727
00:49:09,770 --> 00:49:11,371
Don't make me laugh.
728
00:49:11,405 --> 00:49:13,774
I--I arrest you
in the name of the Queen.
729
00:49:15,409 --> 00:49:18,378
This crook is
Lieutenant Morell of Interpol.
730
00:49:18,412 --> 00:49:19,980
Who the devil are you?
731
00:49:20,013 --> 00:49:23,049
I am Inspector
Jacques Clouseau
732
00:49:23,083 --> 00:49:26,586
on detached service to Scotland
Yard from the Paris Surete.
733
00:49:26,620 --> 00:49:30,424
And who are you to tell me
that this crook is no crook?
734
00:49:31,591 --> 00:49:33,560
Don't raise your voice.
735
00:49:33,593 --> 00:49:35,562
I am Prefect of Police
Geffrion
736
00:49:35,595 --> 00:49:37,063
and your superior.
737
00:49:37,097 --> 00:49:37,998
Mmm...
738
00:49:39,833 --> 00:49:41,401
Hmm.
739
00:49:41,435 --> 00:49:45,105
Well, it seems, uh, that
I owe you an apology
740
00:49:45,138 --> 00:49:47,841
and, uh, and you too,
Lieutenant.
741
00:49:47,874 --> 00:49:49,409
Oh, it's quite
all right.
742
00:49:49,443 --> 00:49:51,678
And so, now that Scotland Yard and
Interpol have made their peace,
743
00:49:51,711 --> 00:49:53,080
perhaps
a hard-working prefect
744
00:49:53,113 --> 00:49:54,948
can eat his meal
in peace, huh?
745
00:50:01,455 --> 00:50:03,356
Right.
You've got everything?
746
00:50:03,390 --> 00:50:04,691
Yes.
Mmm-hmm.
747
00:50:04,724 --> 00:50:06,760
Now, let's go
over it again.
748
00:50:06,793 --> 00:50:08,328
All right.
749
00:50:08,361 --> 00:50:09,996
This is the headset.
750
00:50:10,030 --> 00:50:11,832
Yes.
You put it on and you listen through it.
751
00:50:11,865 --> 00:50:13,433
Yes, put it on.
752
00:50:13,467 --> 00:50:17,037
This is the bow,
with the microphone lead.
753
00:50:17,070 --> 00:50:18,105
Yes.
See? There.
754
00:50:18,138 --> 00:50:19,639
Oh, yes.
755
00:50:19,673 --> 00:50:21,708
This is the arrow with the microphone.
Right.
756
00:50:21,741 --> 00:50:23,777
Now you have
to plug that in there
757
00:50:23,810 --> 00:50:27,614
and you should try and get the arrow
through that window up there.
758
00:50:27,647 --> 00:50:29,416
That's where
they all are.
759
00:51:15,362 --> 00:51:18,031
...with a queen.
Pair of aces.
760
00:51:18,064 --> 00:51:21,568
Tonight, we're gonna knock over the Dodge City Bank.
761
00:51:21,601 --> 00:51:24,504
Dodge City Bank?You must be kidding!
762
00:51:24,538 --> 00:51:25,572
I got a plan.
763
00:51:26,773 --> 00:51:29,910
In 15 minutes,Lefty and Big Red
764
00:51:29,943 --> 00:51:32,746
walk into the hotel and start shooting up the place.
765
00:51:32,779 --> 00:51:33,847
10. Pair of 10s.
766
00:51:36,416 --> 00:51:38,218
I'm only worriedabout one thing.
767
00:51:38,251 --> 00:51:40,353
I don't trust thatRingo or his partner.
768
00:51:40,387 --> 00:51:43,056
Don't worry about that now.Listen to what I'm saying.
769
00:51:43,089 --> 00:51:45,392
Meanwhile meand one-eyed Charlie
770
00:51:45,425 --> 00:51:47,027
slip into the back endof the bank.
771
00:51:47,060 --> 00:51:48,461
What aboutthe half-breed?
772
00:51:48,495 --> 00:51:49,896
Don't worryabout the half-breed.
773
00:51:49,930 --> 00:51:51,698
Yeah, don't worryabout the half-breed.
774
00:51:51,731 --> 00:51:52,766
Right.
775
00:51:55,569 --> 00:51:57,370
Who's there?
- Open up, please.
776
00:51:57,404 --> 00:51:59,272
Not until you show me
your mother.
777
00:52:01,575 --> 00:52:02,475
Okay.
778
00:52:06,279 --> 00:52:07,781
Clouseau.
- Have him!
779
00:52:11,084 --> 00:52:12,419
Please give me some air.
780
00:52:14,754 --> 00:52:15,889
Mon dieu!
781
00:52:15,922 --> 00:52:16,990
What's this?
782
00:52:17,991 --> 00:52:19,826
Hello, Steele.
783
00:52:19,859 --> 00:52:21,895
It's the warden's son.
784
00:52:21,928 --> 00:52:25,599
Man, you was a dead ringer
for Clouseau.
785
00:52:25,632 --> 00:52:29,069
Yes, just goes to show what one can
do with five bobs worth of plastic,
786
00:52:29,102 --> 00:52:32,138
a few photographs and the take
from The Great Train Robbery.
787
00:52:33,373 --> 00:52:35,075
You're Johnny Rainbow.
788
00:52:35,108 --> 00:52:36,409
Johnny Rainbow!
789
00:52:36,443 --> 00:52:38,244
How's it, fellas?
790
00:52:38,278 --> 00:52:41,281
But when we blow the vault,it's gonna wake up the whole town.
791
00:52:41,314 --> 00:52:44,351
We don'tblow the vault, stupid.
792
00:52:44,384 --> 00:52:46,353
I've bribedthe bank president.
793
00:52:47,554 --> 00:52:48,855
Great thinking!
794
00:52:51,224 --> 00:52:52,926
Bank robbery!
795
00:52:52,959 --> 00:52:54,194
You all set now?Right.
796
00:52:54,227 --> 00:52:55,362
Got the plan?Right.
797
00:52:55,395 --> 00:52:56,963
Now you twoget on the roof
798
00:52:56,997 --> 00:52:59,165
and you drill the first lawman yousee coming across to the bank.
799
00:52:59,199 --> 00:53:00,500
Right.
800
00:53:00,533 --> 00:53:02,702
Hold it just a minute now.Well, what is it?
801
00:53:02,736 --> 00:53:05,705
Now, you all know...
802
00:53:05,739 --> 00:53:08,708
Don't worry aboutthe half-breed, Ringo.
803
00:53:08,742 --> 00:53:10,877
Yeah, Ringo,don't worry about the half-breed.
804
00:53:10,910 --> 00:53:13,480
Switzerland is
the bank vault of the world,
805
00:53:13,513 --> 00:53:15,682
and on Saturday afternoon,
we're going to rob
806
00:53:15,715 --> 00:53:18,718
the biggest banks in 13 of the
biggest cities in the country.
807
00:53:19,919 --> 00:53:21,254
And who gets blamed?
808
00:53:22,255 --> 00:53:24,090
Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
809
00:53:26,059 --> 00:53:29,162
How are you going to be at 13
different banks all at the same time?
810
00:53:30,730 --> 00:53:32,399
I'm not. You are.
811
00:53:38,872 --> 00:53:40,507
Be my guest, Steele.
812
00:53:50,050 --> 00:53:51,418
Come on, that's great.
813
00:53:51,451 --> 00:53:52,719
How do the eyes look?
814
00:53:52,752 --> 00:53:54,487
Perfect, even from here.
815
00:53:54,521 --> 00:53:56,656
It's gonna work, Clyde.
816
00:53:56,690 --> 00:53:58,258
I do not like this joke.
817
00:53:59,259 --> 00:54:01,161
Count me out.
What do you mean?
818
00:54:01,194 --> 00:54:02,562
Me, too. It's dodgy.
819
00:54:04,097 --> 00:54:06,266
No hard feelings, huh?
820
00:54:06,299 --> 00:54:08,735
No, as a matter of fact,
I need a couple of bright boys
821
00:54:08,768 --> 00:54:10,870
to do another
little job for me.
822
00:54:10,904 --> 00:54:12,238
Clouseau.
823
00:54:12,272 --> 00:54:13,940
To kill Clouseau
will be my pleasure.
824
00:54:13,973 --> 00:54:15,375
But our ruin.
825
00:54:15,408 --> 00:54:17,210
Now, look. Listen.
Once we've made the haul,
826
00:54:17,243 --> 00:54:18,745
I want Clouseau
running around
827
00:54:18,778 --> 00:54:21,681
trying to explain his innocence
to all those eyewitnesses.
828
00:54:21,715 --> 00:54:23,983
No, my friend,
do not kill Clouseau.
829
00:54:25,585 --> 00:54:26,853
Kidnap him.
830
00:54:26,886 --> 00:54:28,354
...and then
while you and your--
831
00:54:28,388 --> 00:54:30,690
and your Cossacks
are holding me prisoner,
832
00:54:30,724 --> 00:54:34,728
Ringo and One-Eye and the
Half-breed are--are robbing the bank.
833
00:54:34,761 --> 00:54:37,764
And Lefty and what's-his-name
are--are--are--are
834
00:54:37,797 --> 00:54:39,632
shooting up
the hotel lobby.
835
00:54:39,666 --> 00:54:41,735
And the one
with the squeaky voice,
836
00:54:41,768 --> 00:54:44,637
the one with the squeaky voice is up on the roof
837
00:54:44,671 --> 00:54:47,440
waiting to shoot the first lawman that rides into town.
838
00:54:47,474 --> 00:54:49,075
Are you getting
all this down?
839
00:54:49,109 --> 00:54:50,877
I think so. Yes, get it,
push it down.
840
00:54:50,910 --> 00:54:52,712
And--and the bank president
is in on it, too.
841
00:54:52,746 --> 00:54:53,947
Only the bank president?
Yes.
842
00:54:53,980 --> 00:54:54,948
Not the Mayor?
No.
843
00:54:54,981 --> 00:54:56,416
Or Brigitte Bardot?
844
00:54:56,449 --> 00:54:59,386
No. Not Brigitte Bardot.
Out! Out! Throw him out!
845
00:54:59,419 --> 00:55:02,522
And wait! The...
Ringo the breed, the Half...
846
00:55:03,323 --> 00:55:04,924
Ow! Ow!
847
00:55:04,958 --> 00:55:06,960
Police brutality!
848
00:55:09,662 --> 00:55:11,264
Oh, Jacques.
849
00:55:11,297 --> 00:55:13,233
If you'd been with me
at the police station,
850
00:55:13,266 --> 00:55:14,768
maybe those fools
would have believed me.
851
00:55:14,801 --> 00:55:17,570
Oh, I knew you'd want someone
to watch the bank.
852
00:55:17,604 --> 00:55:19,973
They will not start
until the square is cleared.
853
00:55:20,006 --> 00:55:22,942
I do hope we won't have to wait too long.
I'm so cold.
854
00:55:22,976 --> 00:55:25,245
Yes. It is cold.
855
00:55:25,278 --> 00:55:26,913
Come, let's go home.
856
00:55:26,946 --> 00:55:29,082
Hey, what about the crooks?
857
00:55:29,115 --> 00:55:31,618
The crooks never sleep
and neither does Clouseau.
858
00:56:41,421 --> 00:56:43,456
That will teach you
to sneak up on me.
859
00:57:49,155 --> 00:57:51,424
All right, Stockton,
come on.
860
00:57:51,457 --> 00:57:53,359
Over to the wall.
Go on.
861
00:57:54,260 --> 00:57:55,428
Turn around.
862
00:57:56,095 --> 00:57:57,497
Hands up high.
863
00:57:59,966 --> 00:58:01,467
All right, turn around.
864
00:58:03,102 --> 00:58:05,071
Drop your hands now.
865
00:58:05,104 --> 00:58:06,472
Hey, what's up,
Weaver?
866
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:43,977
I don't
want praise, uh...
867
00:58:44,010 --> 00:58:46,145
At all times,
I always do my best.
868
00:58:46,179 --> 00:58:47,847
Anyway,
Commissioner Braithwaite
869
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:49,716
extends his
personal congratulations.
870
00:58:49,749 --> 00:58:52,385
Yesterday for killing one crook,
I am reprimanded.
871
00:58:52,418 --> 00:58:54,053
Today for killing two,
I'm complimented.
872
00:58:54,087 --> 00:58:56,522
Tell Commissioner Braithwaite to make up his mind.
873
00:58:56,556 --> 00:58:57,957
On behalf of the Paris Surete,
874
00:58:57,991 --> 00:59:00,560
allow me also to congratulate you.
It was marvelous.
875
00:59:02,762 --> 00:59:05,498
Now, Clouseau,
you're sure you've got the rail ticket? Yes.
876
00:59:05,531 --> 00:59:07,400
And the rest of the papers,
et cetera,
877
00:59:07,433 --> 00:59:09,335
we found on
the dead man last night?
878
00:59:09,369 --> 00:59:10,536
Good.
879
00:59:13,740 --> 00:59:15,575
Well, when you
get to Zurich,
880
00:59:15,608 --> 00:59:18,044
if you run into more
than you can handle, uh...
881
00:59:18,077 --> 00:59:21,114
Up to now,
I think I've done pretty well on my own, don't you?
882
00:59:22,248 --> 00:59:23,816
Yeah, see you.
Yes.
883
00:59:23,850 --> 00:59:24,884
Au revoir, Clouseau.
Au revoir.
884
00:59:24,917 --> 00:59:26,719
You are an ornament
to France.
885
00:59:26,753 --> 00:59:27,887
Merci.
886
00:59:29,389 --> 00:59:32,392
Oh, don't forget the business
of Ringo and the Half-breed.
887
00:59:32,425 --> 00:59:34,260
Clouseau, your train!
Your train!
888
00:59:56,816 --> 00:59:59,252
Do you play jacks?
889
00:59:59,285 --> 01:00:01,888
David can't get
past his threesies.
890
01:00:01,921 --> 01:00:04,057
Don't bother
the nice man, Nicole.
891
01:00:04,090 --> 01:00:06,292
The nice man
is not bothered.
892
01:00:08,094 --> 01:00:09,395
I want to go
to the toilet.
893
01:00:09,429 --> 01:00:10,563
That's nice.
894
01:00:11,497 --> 01:00:13,099
I want to go
to the toilet.
895
01:00:15,101 --> 01:00:16,569
Excuse me.
896
01:00:16,602 --> 01:00:18,271
He wants to go
to the toilet.
897
01:00:19,105 --> 01:00:20,339
Come on, David.
898
01:00:25,111 --> 01:00:26,546
Next year,
I'm staying at home
899
01:00:26,579 --> 01:00:28,481
and Daddy can
take you on holiday.
900
01:00:30,683 --> 01:00:32,618
I can do ladies
in the washhouse.
901
01:00:32,652 --> 01:00:33,886
Hmm.
902
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:36,522
Of course you'd have
to start out with babies.
903
01:00:49,302 --> 01:00:50,736
Chicken in the basket.
904
01:00:50,770 --> 01:00:53,573
Time for lunch, Nicole.
But I was showing Uncle Jacques
905
01:00:53,606 --> 01:00:55,108
cherries in the basket.
906
01:00:55,141 --> 01:00:56,209
Nicole.
907
01:00:58,444 --> 01:01:02,515
Goodbye, Uncle Jacques.
Ah, yes, goodbye. Have a good time.
908
01:01:07,520 --> 01:01:08,387
Seven in the...
909
01:01:09,155 --> 01:01:10,857
Feathers in the horse.
910
01:01:10,890 --> 01:01:12,225
Duck in the soup.
911
01:01:14,494 --> 01:01:17,864
Weaver, what are--
what are you doing here?
912
01:01:17,897 --> 01:01:20,867
What am I doing here?
Well, I thought it was an opportunity of having
913
01:01:20,900 --> 01:01:23,302
a little holiday
without my missus.
914
01:01:23,336 --> 01:01:25,371
You've got a point there.
Yeah.
915
01:01:25,404 --> 01:01:28,207
As long as you're not here
to meddle in my case.
916
01:01:28,241 --> 01:01:30,343
Oh, no, no,
wouldn't dream of it.
917
01:01:32,345 --> 01:01:34,380
Would you care to
join me in an aperitif?
918
01:01:34,413 --> 01:01:35,681
Surely, thank you.
919
01:01:37,917 --> 01:01:39,552
Um...
920
01:01:39,585 --> 01:01:41,354
Training for
the Olympics, are we?
921
01:01:41,387 --> 01:01:44,390
Oh, you think
this is child's play.
922
01:01:44,423 --> 01:01:47,793
Well, isn't it?
In the hands of a child, yes.
923
01:01:47,827 --> 01:01:50,863
But as a test of skill,
concentration and dexterity...
924
01:01:52,398 --> 01:01:55,034
Would you care for a small game until the drinks arrive?
925
01:01:55,067 --> 01:01:56,202
Surely.
926
01:01:56,235 --> 01:01:59,505
That is unless you are
afraid to take on Clouseau.
927
01:02:00,540 --> 01:02:02,642
I'm not afraid,
Monsieur.
928
01:02:02,675 --> 01:02:05,077
In fact,
I'm looking forward to it.
929
01:02:09,949 --> 01:02:11,684
Onesies. Onesies. One.
Yes, I've got it.
930
01:02:11,717 --> 01:02:12,885
I have it right here.
931
01:02:12,919 --> 01:02:13,753
Right.
932
01:02:15,254 --> 01:02:16,989
Twosies.
You didn't pick anything up.
933
01:02:17,023 --> 01:02:18,224
I did.
934
01:02:18,257 --> 01:02:20,359
You had that lot in your fingers.
No, twosies.
935
01:02:20,393 --> 01:02:22,061
I don't write them
unless you pick up.
936
01:02:22,094 --> 01:02:24,330
Twosies.
All right, twosies.
937
01:02:24,363 --> 01:02:26,232
Threesies, threesies.
Threesies.
938
01:02:31,404 --> 01:02:32,738
A miss.
939
01:02:32,772 --> 01:02:34,941
All right. All right. All right.
A veritable miss. Miss.
940
01:02:34,974 --> 01:02:36,509
All right. Yes.
941
01:02:36,542 --> 01:02:38,911
Here we go with this one now.
942
01:02:38,945 --> 01:02:42,114
That's it.
No, you can't move the jacks.
943
01:02:42,148 --> 01:02:44,917
The train hit a bump.
I tell you and when the train hits a bump...
944
01:02:44,951 --> 01:02:47,720
You're breaking all the rules.
It's my jacks and I'll do what I want to do.
945
01:02:47,753 --> 01:02:49,388
They're not your jacks. Yes.
946
01:02:49,422 --> 01:02:50,890
Yes, all right.
That's it, that's it.
947
01:02:50,923 --> 01:02:53,292
Leave them as they are.
Now throw the ball. Yes, all right.
948
01:02:53,326 --> 01:02:55,628
Throw their ball. Onesies.
Onesies, onesies.
949
01:02:55,661 --> 01:02:57,063
Twosies.
950
01:02:57,096 --> 01:02:58,197
No!
I have it, twosies.
951
01:02:58,231 --> 01:02:59,565
You rang, sir?
952
01:02:59,599 --> 01:03:02,068
Get away from me when the jacks are hot.
Get out!
953
01:03:02,101 --> 01:03:03,903
Don't bother a man.
Come on.
954
01:03:03,936 --> 01:03:05,605
Threesies.
955
01:03:16,949 --> 01:03:18,751
Here's the ball.
Your turn.
956
01:03:20,586 --> 01:03:22,388
You quit while you're ahead?
957
01:03:22,421 --> 01:03:25,057
Come back and
finish the game.
958
01:03:25,091 --> 01:03:27,260
Weaver,
come back and finish this.
959
01:03:28,594 --> 01:03:30,129
Finish the game.
960
01:03:30,162 --> 01:03:31,597
L-Listen.
961
01:03:31,631 --> 01:03:35,067
We'll finish the jacks and then
we'll have a wrestling match.
962
01:03:38,938 --> 01:03:40,539
Not the door. No.
963
01:03:41,841 --> 01:03:44,610
All right, I'll take off
20 points from my score.
964
01:03:45,945 --> 01:03:48,814
No, please! Please!
965
01:04:16,342 --> 01:04:18,044
I didn't like that man.
966
01:04:18,077 --> 01:04:20,046
He won't bother us anymore.
967
01:04:20,079 --> 01:04:21,414
Read us a story.
968
01:04:31,590 --> 01:04:33,059
"Edward Bear,
969
01:04:33,092 --> 01:04:36,362
"known to his friends as Winnie
the Pooh or Pooh for short,
970
01:04:36,395 --> 01:04:38,431
"was walkingthrough the forest one day."
971
01:04:42,268 --> 01:04:44,170
Inspector Clouseau?
Yes.
972
01:04:47,373 --> 01:04:50,209
Ah, permit me to
introduce myself.
973
01:04:50,242 --> 01:04:53,412
Director of National Security.
Hoeffler, isn't it?
974
01:04:53,446 --> 01:04:55,047
The Minister of Finance
has assembled
975
01:04:55,081 --> 01:04:56,649
the bank presidents
as you requested.
976
01:04:56,682 --> 01:04:57,683
Good.
Come.
977
01:04:59,418 --> 01:05:01,220
The car is waiting outside.
978
01:05:01,253 --> 01:05:03,589
Just a minute, Jacques.
You must be very careful. You see.
979
01:05:03,622 --> 01:05:06,058
I saw Weaver on the train and
I think he's one of the gang.
980
01:05:06,092 --> 01:05:07,560
Thank you.
I'll see you at the Tellerhof, huh?
981
01:05:07,593 --> 01:05:09,161
Yeah.
982
01:05:11,263 --> 01:05:12,932
One minute.
Of course.
983
01:05:17,603 --> 01:05:18,771
Get that girl.
984
01:05:29,248 --> 01:05:30,916
This car is at your disposal.
985
01:05:30,950 --> 01:05:33,119
The driver has
his instructions.
986
01:05:40,426 --> 01:05:42,895
How did it go?
Everything according to plan.
987
01:05:42,928 --> 01:05:45,798
Good. We'll stop
and switch clothes on the way.
988
01:06:09,922 --> 01:06:11,724
Change and get back
as quickly as you can.
989
01:06:11,757 --> 01:06:13,259
Yeah. Right away.
See you.
990
01:06:17,596 --> 01:06:19,365
...and finally Zurich.
991
01:06:21,700 --> 01:06:24,303
It is for these reasons,
gentlemen,
992
01:06:24,336 --> 01:06:27,006
that I have called you all,
993
01:06:27,039 --> 01:06:31,744
you bank presidents of Switzerland here to Zurich today.
994
01:06:31,777 --> 01:06:35,347
I, as the responsible
Minister of Finance,
995
01:06:35,381 --> 01:06:39,185
have declared this to be
a national emergency.
996
01:06:39,218 --> 01:06:42,588
And I have
pledged on your behalf,
997
01:06:42,621 --> 01:06:45,658
your fullest,
your fullest cooperation
998
01:06:46,959 --> 01:06:48,494
to Inspector Clouseau.
999
01:06:50,529 --> 01:06:51,564
Inspector.
1000
01:06:53,165 --> 01:06:55,534
Mr. Minister,
honored bank presidents.
1001
01:06:57,136 --> 01:06:59,138
After months of
meticulous police work,
1002
01:06:59,171 --> 01:07:01,340
we have managed to
piece together a picture of
1003
01:07:01,373 --> 01:07:03,876
what we think
the crooks will do.
1004
01:07:03,909 --> 01:07:06,378
The robbery will
take place tomorrow.
1005
01:07:06,412 --> 01:07:07,513
Tomorrow?
1006
01:07:07,546 --> 01:07:09,448
Saturdays
the banks close early.
1007
01:07:09,482 --> 01:07:12,017
Precisely.
Inspector Clouseau.
1008
01:07:12,051 --> 01:07:14,687
Yes?
If you are so well-informed,
1009
01:07:14,720 --> 01:07:18,023
how's it possible that you don't
know which bank they plan to rob?
1010
01:07:18,057 --> 01:07:19,692
Well, you see,
from time to time
1011
01:07:19,725 --> 01:07:21,994
the gang has had all your banks under surveillance.
1012
01:07:22,027 --> 01:07:23,362
Oh, I see.
1013
01:07:23,395 --> 01:07:26,065
Now, I want you to take
a very good look at my face.
1014
01:07:29,902 --> 01:07:33,072
When the time comes,
I shall fly by helicopter to the unlucky bank
1015
01:07:33,105 --> 01:07:36,542
and personally supervise
the transference of all funds.
1016
01:07:36,575 --> 01:07:39,044
I have with me today Inspector Weaver of Scotland Yard
1017
01:07:39,078 --> 01:07:40,479
who has a few more
remarks to make.
1018
01:07:40,513 --> 01:07:41,747
Inspector Weaver.
1019
01:07:43,115 --> 01:07:47,553
Gentlemen, under
no circumstances whatsoever
1020
01:07:47,586 --> 01:07:50,589
are you to follow any instructions from an intermediary.
1021
01:07:51,924 --> 01:07:54,326
Neither must you
accept or honor
1022
01:07:54,360 --> 01:07:58,330
any apparent radio
or telephone message
1023
01:07:58,364 --> 01:08:01,000
from either
Inspector Clouseau or myself.
1024
01:08:01,033 --> 01:08:04,203
Only that way can you be sure
that your money is safe.
1025
01:08:04,236 --> 01:08:06,805
In the hands of
Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
1026
01:08:09,441 --> 01:08:11,810
There,
now may I speak to London?
1027
01:08:13,812 --> 01:08:16,882
But that's--
that's all the change I have.
1028
01:08:16,916 --> 01:08:19,218
I've been trying to make
this c-call for an hour.
1029
01:08:19,251 --> 01:08:20,619
Wait, wait.
1030
01:08:20,653 --> 01:08:22,388
My mother has just come by.
1031
01:08:22,421 --> 01:08:24,089
Mother,
have you got any money?
1032
01:08:24,123 --> 01:08:26,592
Yes. Very good,
thank you very much.
1033
01:08:26,625 --> 01:08:29,461
Oh, luckily she had
some change with her,
1034
01:08:29,495 --> 01:08:32,765
a miraculous occurrence
that she didn't tell me about.
1035
01:08:33,666 --> 01:08:36,769
Oh, and here comes
my Uncle George.
1036
01:08:36,802 --> 01:08:40,973
Uncle George seems also to have
a little bit of change with him.
1037
01:08:41,006 --> 01:08:44,243
And here it comes into the
telephone at this very moment.
1038
01:08:45,744 --> 01:08:50,583
And here comes my sister with
another 20 centimes and 20 more.
1039
01:08:50,616 --> 01:08:52,451
Thank you very much,
dear relatives.
1040
01:08:52,484 --> 01:08:53,819
Now, uh...
1041
01:08:55,588 --> 01:08:58,257
70 centimes more
but I have no more buttons.
1042
01:08:58,290 --> 01:09:01,694
I mean, can't you trust me,
a policeman of good standing?
1043
01:09:03,429 --> 01:09:07,766
Wait, I'll-- I'll see if I can find
someone in this humble village
1044
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:11,237
that will trust a man with an honest face.
Don't go away.
1045
01:09:11,270 --> 01:09:15,174
No. Wait, I made a mistake,
don't hang up the tel-telephone.
1046
01:09:22,147 --> 01:09:23,349
Looks like rain.
1047
01:09:26,652 --> 01:09:27,987
Listen, have you...
1048
01:09:29,121 --> 01:09:31,390
Hey, can--can I borrow?
Can...
1049
01:09:43,068 --> 01:09:46,572
Ah! No, I need--
I need 70 centimes.
1050
01:09:47,706 --> 01:09:48,974
No,
I'm not one of the poor.
1051
01:09:49,008 --> 01:09:51,810
I have to make
a telephone call.
1052
01:09:51,844 --> 01:09:54,813
I have to make a phone call.
1053
01:09:54,847 --> 01:09:56,715
I'm not a thief or any...
Here.
1054
01:09:56,749 --> 01:09:59,885
I--I have a wristwatch,
a watch.
1055
01:09:59,918 --> 01:10:03,789
I will-- I will...
I'll give you my--my--my automatic,
1056
01:10:03,822 --> 01:10:07,259
slightly waterproof watch.
I'll give you trade for the money.
1057
01:10:11,430 --> 01:10:14,033
Yes. Yes, that's--
that's what I always say.
1058
01:10:18,537 --> 01:10:20,973
No, you don't!
1059
01:10:21,006 --> 01:10:23,375
Some scoundrel put his, uh,
buttons in the telephone.
1060
01:10:23,409 --> 01:10:24,410
It's kaput.
1061
01:10:27,012 --> 01:10:29,081
We've got two minutes
to get this truck moving.
1062
01:10:29,114 --> 01:10:31,550
Now, Steele, me old darling,
how's all this going, all right?
1063
01:10:31,583 --> 01:10:34,219
It's finished, do you want to see it?
Yes, certainly.
1064
01:10:38,123 --> 01:10:41,260
Oh, that's great. Marvelous.
Keep that up.
1065
01:10:41,293 --> 01:10:43,762
Well, come on you guys.
Get this thing moving.
1066
01:10:49,234 --> 01:10:50,536
I'll be back
in about 20 minutes.
1067
01:10:50,569 --> 01:10:52,438
Make sure that
everything's ready.
1068
01:11:01,046 --> 01:11:03,716
Be ready. Bank President Wulf was
warned that this might happen.
1069
01:11:03,749 --> 01:11:06,385
Yes, yes,
but when a man is having his first grandchild...
1070
01:11:06,418 --> 01:11:08,687
I order you to transfer
everything from the vault
1071
01:11:08,721 --> 01:11:10,456
to the armored car
waiting outside.
1072
01:11:10,489 --> 01:11:12,124
I shall take
full responsibility.
1073
01:11:12,157 --> 01:11:13,392
Of course,
Inspector Clouseau,
1074
01:11:13,425 --> 01:11:15,761
now that it is no longer
my responsibility.
1075
01:12:29,735 --> 01:12:30,969
I'm sorry, sir,
the bank is closed.
1076
01:12:31,003 --> 01:12:33,705
I have an-- I have an emergency.
I can't allow you.
1077
01:12:33,739 --> 01:12:36,375
Listen, I must cash
a check for three francs.
1078
01:12:36,408 --> 01:12:37,843
I have to make
a telephone call.
1079
01:12:37,876 --> 01:12:39,211
We have no money.
1080
01:12:39,244 --> 01:12:41,447
What do you mean
you have no money?
1081
01:12:41,480 --> 01:12:43,282
I told you, we have no money.
1082
01:12:43,315 --> 01:12:45,350
The Bank of Zurich
has no money?
1083
01:12:45,384 --> 01:12:47,719
W-W-Where is--
where is the concierge?
1084
01:12:47,753 --> 01:12:51,723
Hey, listen, concierge,
I have an important...
1085
01:12:51,757 --> 01:12:53,091
Inspector Clouseau!
1086
01:12:54,059 --> 01:12:55,394
You know who I am?
1087
01:12:55,427 --> 01:12:58,697
Yes, but you--you--you
just left with the money.
1088
01:12:58,730 --> 01:13:01,233
No, no, no. This fellow here
won't give me any money.
1089
01:13:01,266 --> 01:13:03,368
Yes, but surely,
I mean...
1090
01:13:03,402 --> 01:13:05,871
It's a boy! It's a boy.
1091
01:13:07,372 --> 01:13:10,209
It's a boy. It's a...
1092
01:13:10,242 --> 01:13:13,412
Inspector Clouseau!
Oh, no, no, no, not my bank.
1093
01:13:13,445 --> 01:13:16,482
It's amazing.
How is it everyone in Zurich knows who I am?
1094
01:13:16,515 --> 01:13:18,817
The Inspector took
full responsibility
1095
01:13:18,851 --> 01:13:21,420
so all our money has been
loaded into the truck.
1096
01:13:21,453 --> 01:13:23,856
That's perfectly all right.
It's part of the plan.
1097
01:13:23,889 --> 01:13:25,724
Plan? What--What plan?
Your plan.
1098
01:13:26,758 --> 01:13:28,360
No,
my plan is to cash a check
1099
01:13:28,393 --> 01:13:31,063
and make
a telephone call to London.
1100
01:13:31,096 --> 01:13:32,531
There's something
terribly wrong.
1101
01:13:32,564 --> 01:13:34,933
Well, I'm glad someone
finally agrees with me.
1102
01:13:34,967 --> 01:13:37,870
Guard! W-W-What do you mean,
"Cash a check"?
1103
01:13:37,903 --> 01:13:39,271
Take him, take him!
1104
01:13:39,304 --> 01:13:42,207
No. It's-- It's only five francs.
No need to make a fuss.
1105
01:13:51,583 --> 01:13:53,852
Come on, fellas,
let's get this thing moving.
1106
01:13:53,886 --> 01:13:56,455
Come on,
get these doors open.
1107
01:13:56,488 --> 01:13:58,357
Quickly, come on. Right.
1108
01:13:58,390 --> 01:13:59,725
Heave!
1109
01:13:59,758 --> 01:14:01,827
Come along,
we haven't got all day. Push it!
1110
01:14:02,761 --> 01:14:04,229
Come on.
1111
01:14:07,633 --> 01:14:08,667
Okay.
1112
01:16:15,761 --> 01:16:17,896
What are you doing here?
1113
01:16:17,929 --> 01:16:20,732
I let you in.
You're supposed to be watching the main gate.
1114
01:16:20,766 --> 01:16:23,602
You heard what Johnny Rain...
Inspector Clouseau said.
1115
01:16:28,573 --> 01:16:30,409
He almost gave
the whole thing away.
1116
01:16:30,442 --> 01:16:34,079
Now, for heaven's sake, man,
bolt that door and let nobody else come in.
1117
01:16:36,915 --> 01:16:38,216
How's it going?
1118
01:16:38,250 --> 01:16:41,753
Hold my slide rule
and I'll find out for you.
1119
01:16:41,787 --> 01:16:43,922
It should be all ready
in about an hour and 10.
1120
01:16:43,955 --> 01:16:45,624
Good, keep the thing going.
1121
01:16:45,657 --> 01:16:46,892
Come on, quick, man,
get this over there.
1122
01:16:46,925 --> 01:16:48,627
Watch you don't
strain yourself.
1123
01:16:48,660 --> 01:16:50,062
Come on, Steele.
1124
01:16:50,095 --> 01:16:53,532
Okay. Over there on top of that crate there,
will you?
1125
01:17:05,077 --> 01:17:07,279
Okay, swing it down.
1126
01:17:07,312 --> 01:17:09,614
Hold to your left.
Okay, now let her go.
1127
01:17:09,648 --> 01:17:12,317
Down. Come on,
go in slow.
1128
01:17:12,350 --> 01:17:14,252
Come on. Don't waste time...
1129
01:17:14,286 --> 01:17:15,821
Well, by now,
Steele, old chap,
1130
01:17:15,854 --> 01:17:19,825
they're searching airports and
railroads for our fast getaway.
1131
01:17:19,858 --> 01:17:21,560
The last thing the police
will be looking for
1132
01:17:21,593 --> 01:17:24,096
is a slow moving barge
loaded with candy.
1133
01:17:24,129 --> 01:17:26,231
Yeah, couldn't have
done better myself.
1134
01:17:26,264 --> 01:17:28,800
Now, look, I have to be
in the city in 10 minutes.
1135
01:17:28,834 --> 01:17:31,236
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
1136
01:17:31,269 --> 01:17:35,140
If we've got to take a ride on this floating time bomb,
what about him?
1137
01:17:35,173 --> 01:17:38,243
The Superintendent Weaver is the
only member of our little group
1138
01:17:38,276 --> 01:17:40,579
with a legitimate reason
for being in Switzerland.
1139
01:17:40,612 --> 01:17:43,081
While you people are taking a
pleasure-cruise down the Rhine,
1140
01:17:43,115 --> 01:17:45,851
good old Weaver's gonna be stuck at headquarters,
isn't he?
1141
01:17:45,884 --> 01:17:47,018
So that if anything
goes wrong,
1142
01:17:47,052 --> 01:17:48,620
you'll get warned,
won't you?
1143
01:17:48,653 --> 01:17:51,089
Yes, well, you know that
we're on 102 megacycles,
1144
01:17:51,123 --> 01:17:52,324
so you will keep
in contact with us.
1145
01:17:52,357 --> 01:17:53,692
You gonna take me or not?
1146
01:17:53,725 --> 01:17:55,193
Yeah, come on.
We'll meet again in Cologne.
1147
01:17:55,227 --> 01:17:56,495
Cologne.
1148
01:18:01,399 --> 01:18:05,604
News, Express.
Robbery sensation.
1149
01:18:05,637 --> 01:18:09,474
Famous French Inspector arrested.
Read all about it.
1150
01:18:11,576 --> 01:18:13,879
News, Express.
1151
01:18:13,912 --> 01:18:16,214
You're only the watchman
at the Lindt factory.
1152
01:18:16,248 --> 01:18:19,217
Mmm-hmm.
How did you get the money?
1153
01:18:19,251 --> 01:18:21,853
Well, I--I...
Perhaps we can refresh your memory.
1154
01:18:21,887 --> 01:18:23,155
Bring in Clouseau.
1155
01:18:24,322 --> 01:18:26,324
Be so kind as to
empty your pockets.
1156
01:18:26,358 --> 01:18:28,160
But I already have.
On the desk!
1157
01:18:41,106 --> 01:18:42,574
Ah, thank you, Beckman.
1158
01:18:43,942 --> 01:18:45,577
Do you recognize this man?
1159
01:18:46,444 --> 01:18:49,047
Yes, I do. Can I go now?
1160
01:18:49,080 --> 01:18:51,216
You're a teller of tales,
my friend,
1161
01:18:51,249 --> 01:18:53,185
and also you are a liar!
1162
01:18:53,218 --> 01:18:56,221
If there's one thing I despise,
it is a cop gone bad.
1163
01:18:56,254 --> 01:18:58,190
Have a care
who you're calling a cop.
1164
01:18:58,223 --> 01:18:59,724
I happen to be
a full inspector.
1165
01:18:59,758 --> 01:19:00,892
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
1166
01:19:00,926 --> 01:19:02,027
J'accuse!
1167
01:19:02,060 --> 01:19:05,330
This man threw me
from the 917 Zurich Express,
1168
01:19:05,363 --> 01:19:08,733
stole my money,
and--and I accuse him of--of cheating at jacks.
1169
01:19:08,767 --> 01:19:10,001
This fellow's ill.
Look after him.
1170
01:19:10,035 --> 01:19:12,337
Here, that's mine.
I... That's a dangerous...
1171
01:19:12,370 --> 01:19:14,039
Sayonara.
1172
01:19:14,072 --> 01:19:16,608
Here, that's mine.
You've had yours.
1173
01:19:16,641 --> 01:19:18,710
That man's a crook.
Stop that man.
1174
01:19:18,743 --> 01:19:20,011
Beckman!
That man's a crook.
1175
01:19:20,045 --> 01:19:22,047
He's had his share,
this is mine.
1176
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:24,382
Beckman, I called you.
I said to stop him, you fool.
1177
01:19:24,416 --> 01:19:25,417
Man? I saw no man.
1178
01:19:26,751 --> 01:19:27,819
I saw nobody.
1179
01:19:38,930 --> 01:19:40,632
Take his feet.
We'll get rid of the body.
1180
01:19:40,665 --> 01:19:42,033
There are two of you.
1181
01:19:42,067 --> 01:19:43,735
Come on, let's hurry it up.
1182
01:19:47,305 --> 01:19:50,976
My face!
You've stolen my face.
1183
01:19:51,009 --> 01:19:53,144
Give me back my face,
you fiend.
1184
01:20:05,257 --> 01:20:08,260
Oh, my head. Help me! Help!
1185
01:20:08,760 --> 01:20:10,028
Oh, my!
1186
01:20:11,429 --> 01:20:12,430
Thank you.
1187
01:20:17,435 --> 01:20:18,536
Hit him back.
1188
01:20:28,280 --> 01:20:31,449
And that-- And that's just the beginning,
my friend.
1189
01:20:31,483 --> 01:20:33,618
I've just--
I've just begun to fight.
1190
01:20:34,853 --> 01:20:37,188
If I had a silver bullet,
then you'd see.
1191
01:20:41,826 --> 01:20:43,028
Are you all right?
Yes.
1192
01:20:43,061 --> 01:20:45,030
Can I help you?
1193
01:20:45,063 --> 01:20:46,398
What an experience!
1194
01:20:47,632 --> 01:20:49,067
Ah, it lives!
1195
01:20:50,402 --> 01:20:52,203
Get him. Get him.
1196
01:20:52,237 --> 01:20:55,106
This person.
Get him, get him from behind.
1197
01:20:55,140 --> 01:20:56,841
He'll break my neck.
1198
01:20:58,043 --> 01:21:00,378
Hit--hit this--this...
1199
01:21:00,412 --> 01:21:02,080
I can't stand that the pain.
1200
01:21:16,361 --> 01:21:17,362
He's dead.
1201
01:21:17,896 --> 01:21:18,897
Who was he?
1202
01:21:56,101 --> 01:21:57,869
We are here waiting at the Lindt Chocolate Factory
1203
01:21:57,902 --> 01:21:59,738
to get a statement
from Inspector Clouseau
1204
01:21:59,771 --> 01:22:01,039
who's just been
released from custody
1205
01:22:01,072 --> 01:22:02,540
as a suspect
in this massive robbery.
1206
01:22:02,574 --> 01:22:05,009
Ah, here he comes. Ah, Inspector...
Latest reports tell us...
1207
01:22:05,043 --> 01:22:07,379
Hello.
...in charge of this world wide investigation.
1208
01:22:07,412 --> 01:22:09,047
Inspector Clouseau.
Yes?
1209
01:22:09,080 --> 01:22:10,548
Could you give us
a statement please?
1210
01:22:10,582 --> 01:22:13,385
Yes, chocolate makes
one very thirsty.
1211
01:22:13,418 --> 01:22:14,786
But, this is Telstar,
1212
01:22:14,819 --> 01:22:16,554
millions of people all over the world are watching.
1213
01:22:16,588 --> 01:22:18,223
Yes, listen to this.
1214
01:22:18,256 --> 01:22:20,058
Millions of people
all over the world.
1215
01:22:20,091 --> 01:22:21,593
There has been a robbery.
1216
01:22:21,626 --> 01:22:23,628
The money has been spirited
out of Switzerland
1217
01:22:23,661 --> 01:22:26,731
wrapped as innocent
little Lindt chocolate bars.
1218
01:22:26,765 --> 01:22:28,032
It could be anywhere,
1219
01:22:28,066 --> 01:22:30,702
so if your chocolate bar
has money in it,
1220
01:22:30,735 --> 01:22:32,437
be sure and contact me
and I promise you
1221
01:22:32,470 --> 01:22:34,806
not only the gratitude
of the Swiss Government
1222
01:22:34,839 --> 01:22:38,410
but a free chocolate bar
as well. Thank you.
1223
01:22:38,443 --> 01:22:40,245
Give me that! That's my money.
Get away. Get away.
1224
01:22:40,278 --> 01:22:41,880
I saw this first.
I got my hands on it.
1225
01:22:41,913 --> 01:22:44,916
I had this suit made
in Hong Kong.
1226
01:23:17,348 --> 01:23:19,951
We report the autobahnfrom Cologne's sealed off.
1227
01:23:19,984 --> 01:23:21,753
That's our final report.Over and out.
1228
01:23:21,786 --> 01:23:23,054
Roger and goodbye.
1229
01:23:28,359 --> 01:23:29,861
Is that you?
1230
01:23:31,830 --> 01:23:34,098
Yeah, of course it's me.
1231
01:23:34,132 --> 01:23:37,302
I've been trying to contact you.
Where've you been?
1232
01:23:37,335 --> 01:23:39,637
You still wearing
that ridiculous face?
1233
01:23:39,671 --> 01:23:41,106
How dare you
talk to me like that,
1234
01:23:41,139 --> 01:23:43,842
you common
prison barber, you.
1235
01:23:43,875 --> 01:23:46,044
Hey, wait a minute.
Don't touch--touch my face!
1236
01:23:46,077 --> 01:23:47,212
But you're dead, aren't you?
1237
01:23:47,245 --> 01:23:49,814
Yes, and you're under arrest.
1238
01:23:49,848 --> 01:23:52,617
What do you want, handcuffs?
Yes, that's what I'm-- I'm looking for.
1239
01:23:52,650 --> 01:23:53,885
Well, maybe you left them
in the car.
1240
01:23:53,918 --> 01:23:55,854
No, they're not in there.
I just... Here are the keys,
1241
01:23:55,887 --> 01:23:57,322
you need the keys
to the handcuffs.
1242
01:23:57,355 --> 01:23:58,656
No, that's my car keys.
1243
01:23:58,690 --> 01:24:00,625
They're over there.
They're over there, get the keys.
1244
01:24:00,658 --> 01:24:02,694
You come with me. We're both...
People are getting annoyed.
1245
01:24:02,727 --> 01:24:04,562
We're both going down...
Take a look at that traffic.
1246
01:24:04,596 --> 01:24:05,830
Quiet!
You get the keys,
1247
01:24:05,864 --> 01:24:07,065
I'll stay here.
You get the keys.
1248
01:24:07,098 --> 01:24:08,466
All right, don't--
don't go away!
1249
01:24:08,500 --> 01:24:10,568
All right, I'll stay here.
1250
01:24:10,602 --> 01:24:13,404
Where are my keys?
What have you done?
1251
01:24:13,438 --> 01:24:14,639
Where are my keys?
1252
01:24:16,241 --> 01:24:19,410
Where are they?
They're not here.
1253
01:24:53,411 --> 01:24:58,316
Don't-- Don't push that.
Don't do that. Don't start the bridge.
1254
01:26:08,019 --> 01:26:09,921
Help!
1255
01:26:17,895 --> 01:26:19,063
Ow! Ow!
1256
01:26:22,834 --> 01:26:26,638
Help! SOS for
a drowning detective!
1257
01:26:40,084 --> 01:26:42,020
Hey,
what you got there?
1258
01:26:42,053 --> 01:26:43,354
I've brought you
a little present.
1259
01:26:43,388 --> 01:26:44,689
Present?
1260
01:26:44,722 --> 01:26:45,990
Here, come on,
haul him in.
1261
01:26:46,024 --> 01:26:48,993
Don't, don't!
Don't grab me by my right arm like that.
1262
01:26:49,027 --> 01:26:50,294
Get up!
1263
01:26:50,328 --> 01:26:52,563
Oh, if I wasn't encased
in a balloon
1264
01:26:52,597 --> 01:26:54,899
you'd see some action
at this point.
1265
01:26:55,733 --> 01:26:58,670
Let--Let me go.
1266
01:26:58,703 --> 01:27:01,239
Inspector Clouseau,
welcome aboard.
1267
01:27:01,272 --> 01:27:04,375
Run for your life,
these are dangerous criminals.
1268
01:27:04,409 --> 01:27:07,078
We're all criminals,
on this boat, ain't we, Rainbow?
1269
01:27:08,112 --> 01:27:09,247
Johnny Rainbow.
1270
01:27:10,248 --> 01:27:12,050
You can't trust anybody
anymore.
1271
01:27:12,083 --> 01:27:14,652
Oh, Inspector Clouseau,
you can trust me.
1272
01:27:14,686 --> 01:27:16,087
And while we're at it,
I'd like to say
1273
01:27:16,120 --> 01:27:18,322
how very grateful
we are to you.
1274
01:27:18,356 --> 01:27:21,859
For without your cooperation
and that exquisite face,
1275
01:27:21,893 --> 01:27:24,562
I couldn't have pulled off
this entire operation.
1276
01:27:26,798 --> 01:27:28,099
Bye-bye, Superman.
1277
01:27:28,900 --> 01:27:30,601
Take him away.
1278
01:27:30,635 --> 01:27:34,672
You'll soon-- You'll soon be laughing on
the other side of my face, my friend.
1279
01:27:34,706 --> 01:27:36,207
Ow! Ow!
1280
01:27:36,240 --> 01:27:39,477
That hold was ruled illegal
at the Geneva Convention.
1281
01:27:40,078 --> 01:27:41,279
Ow! Ow.
1282
01:27:45,383 --> 01:27:48,286
Jacques, they got you too.
1283
01:27:48,319 --> 01:27:50,521
Are you all right?
You look awful.
1284
01:27:50,555 --> 01:27:52,857
What have they done to you?
1285
01:27:52,890 --> 01:27:56,594
Dragged me backwards
in the water without skis,
1286
01:27:56,627 --> 01:28:00,565
thrown me from a train,
given me drugs,
1287
01:28:00,598 --> 01:28:04,235
and worse than that,
they punctured my rubber underwear.
1288
01:28:06,104 --> 01:28:08,773
But still you're alive
and in one piece.
1289
01:28:08,806 --> 01:28:10,875
Now, let's figure some way
of getting out of here.
1290
01:28:10,908 --> 01:28:12,577
You figure it out.
1291
01:28:12,610 --> 01:28:14,746
What do you mean
I figure it out?
1292
01:28:14,779 --> 01:28:16,047
What are we going to do,
Jacques?
1293
01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:19,083
I mean that I don't know
what we're going to do.
1294
01:28:19,117 --> 01:28:21,552
But they're going to kill us.
How can you talk like that?
1295
01:28:21,586 --> 01:28:24,522
I can talk like that
because I face facts.
1296
01:28:26,924 --> 01:28:28,493
I ruin everything I touch.
1297
01:28:29,961 --> 01:28:32,563
Hey,
what's the matter with you?
1298
01:28:32,597 --> 01:28:37,201
Arrested twice.
I destroy a phone booth at the railway station,
1299
01:28:38,703 --> 01:28:40,738
I steal from a nun.
1300
01:28:40,772 --> 01:28:44,842
I don't know my own face.
A man comes up to me with my own face tied on.
1301
01:28:44,876 --> 01:28:46,544
I don't recognize who it is.
1302
01:28:47,779 --> 01:28:49,914
I don't--
I don't deserve to have
1303
01:28:49,947 --> 01:28:52,216
this autographed picture
of Sean Connery.
1304
01:28:53,050 --> 01:28:55,119
You accept defeat so easily.
1305
01:28:55,153 --> 01:28:58,589
So easily?
This defeat has taken every ounce of my strength.
1306
01:28:58,623 --> 01:29:00,792
No, everything's going
to turn out all right.
1307
01:29:00,825 --> 01:29:02,994
It's not.
They're going to kill me.
1308
01:29:03,027 --> 01:29:04,996
They're going to kill me,
I tell you.
1309
01:29:06,898 --> 01:29:09,367
Thanks. I needed that.
1310
01:29:09,400 --> 01:29:11,335
Now maybe
you can face reality.
1311
01:29:11,369 --> 01:29:13,971
Look, you got Weaver.
The worst traitor Scotland Yard's ever had.
1312
01:29:14,005 --> 01:29:15,206
That's true.
1313
01:29:15,239 --> 01:29:17,542
You killed three members of the
gang single-handed and you...
1314
01:29:17,575 --> 01:29:19,877
I don't mean to interrupt you,
it was five, you know.
1315
01:29:19,911 --> 01:29:21,479
And you helped
to find the money.
1316
01:29:21,512 --> 01:29:24,715
Helped? What do you mean, "helped"?
I did it all by myself.
1317
01:29:24,749 --> 01:29:27,151
Who do you think got the money back?
It was me.
1318
01:29:27,185 --> 01:29:28,953
We're going to bust
our way out of this tub.
1319
01:29:31,222 --> 01:29:32,757
That was not the door.
1320
01:29:44,735 --> 01:29:46,337
Okay, you two, let's go.
1321
01:30:23,908 --> 01:30:26,677
Now, this is your
last chance, Inspector.
1322
01:30:26,711 --> 01:30:30,047
Now, do you work for us or
do we have to get rid of you?
1323
01:30:30,081 --> 01:30:33,017
I don't want your money.
I have my health,
1324
01:30:33,050 --> 01:30:35,953
I have my hair,
I have an apartment with an icebox.
1325
01:30:35,987 --> 01:30:37,255
And the love of a good woman.
1326
01:30:37,288 --> 01:30:38,556
Terribly moving.
1327
01:30:38,589 --> 01:30:41,359
I wonder whether
we can help them out somehow.
1328
01:30:41,392 --> 01:30:43,060
Lash them to the tarpaulin.
1329
01:30:43,094 --> 01:30:45,863
I'll leave you with this...
Ow! Oh, the deck...
1330
01:30:45,897 --> 01:30:47,398
I leave you
with these words...
1331
01:30:47,431 --> 01:30:50,334
Oh, wait, I'm--
I'm going to leave...
1332
01:30:54,572 --> 01:30:56,908
Frey, what time do we rendezvous
with the Star of Tangiers?
1333
01:30:56,941 --> 01:30:58,709
Oh, well, owing to this fog,
my calculations...
1334
01:30:58,743 --> 01:31:00,378
I don't care about
your calculations, Frey,
1335
01:31:00,411 --> 01:31:02,713
ask the gentleman up there
how we're doing.
1336
01:31:02,747 --> 01:31:04,215
What are we going to do
with these two idiots?
1337
01:31:04,248 --> 01:31:05,483
Oh, do stop worrying, Steele.
1338
01:31:05,516 --> 01:31:08,886
By the time they find them,
we'll be miles away, I hope.
1339
01:31:08,920 --> 01:31:11,923
Hey, Fred, what time are we
going to make the rendezvous?
1340
01:31:11,956 --> 01:31:14,158
I don't know. We're having trouble.
We're losing way.
1341
01:31:14,191 --> 01:31:16,661
What did he say? There's something wrong.
We're losing way.
1342
01:31:16,694 --> 01:31:18,229
Losing way? How can...
Look, we're sinking!
1343
01:31:18,262 --> 01:31:21,599
We're sinking! For heaven's sake,
abandon ship everybody.
1344
01:31:21,632 --> 01:31:22,767
We're sinking!
1345
01:31:24,035 --> 01:31:26,938
Don't just stand there.
Keep those crates moving, men!
1346
01:31:36,447 --> 01:31:37,715
Out of my way.
1347
01:32:04,408 --> 01:32:05,609
They've gone!
1348
01:32:05,643 --> 01:32:09,313
Typical,
rats leaving a sinking ship.
1349
01:32:09,347 --> 01:32:12,350
I suggest we--we
swim to shore.
1350
01:32:12,383 --> 01:32:13,951
In which direction?
1351
01:32:13,985 --> 01:32:15,920
Well, it's a river.
In any direction.
1352
01:32:17,254 --> 01:32:18,956
Well, maybe
I ought to scream for help.
1353
01:32:18,990 --> 01:32:21,058
Yes, that's a good idea.
1354
01:32:21,092 --> 01:32:22,727
Help!
1355
01:32:22,760 --> 01:32:26,130
I don't--
I don't think they heard you.
1356
01:32:26,163 --> 01:32:30,501
To track them this far and then to lose them.
It really is too much.
1357
01:32:30,534 --> 01:32:31,869
Would you like a cigarette?
1358
01:32:31,902 --> 01:32:33,638
Yes.
1359
01:32:33,671 --> 01:32:36,574
I'll get one.
It's-- It's a menthol cigarette.
1360
01:32:36,607 --> 01:32:37,842
I--I hope you don't mind.
1361
01:32:37,875 --> 01:32:39,844
Menthol? Oh, no!
1362
01:32:39,877 --> 01:32:41,545
You don't like menthol?
No.
1363
01:32:41,579 --> 01:32:45,049
I find it has
a much cooler smoke.
1364
01:32:45,082 --> 01:32:46,250
Oh, okay.
1365
01:32:49,420 --> 01:32:50,454
What's that?
1366
01:32:52,623 --> 01:32:54,759
There's an ambulance
drawing alongside.
1367
01:33:17,748 --> 01:33:18,883
Goodbye, my darling.
1368
01:33:18,916 --> 01:33:20,117
Goodbye.
See you next week.
1369
01:33:20,151 --> 01:33:22,119
Yes, a week of loneliness,
my dear,
1370
01:33:22,153 --> 01:33:25,256
but I will have everything
ready for you when you come.
1371
01:33:25,289 --> 01:33:26,724
And you will call me tonight?
1372
01:33:26,757 --> 01:33:29,093
Yes, as soon as I get
off the plane, my dear.
1373
01:33:30,895 --> 01:33:33,431
I don't want to rush you,
but I think perhaps you...
1374
01:33:33,464 --> 01:33:35,700
Well, Braithwaite,
you old son of a gun!
1375
01:33:35,733 --> 01:33:38,069
The time has come for us to say goodbye, eh?
Yes, indeed, it has.
1376
01:33:38,102 --> 01:33:40,471
And I want to say that it's
been a wonderful, wonderful...
1377
01:33:40,504 --> 01:33:41,705
Right, exactly.
1378
01:33:41,739 --> 01:33:42,940
In every regard.
1379
01:33:42,973 --> 01:33:45,076
Naturally and so shall I.
1380
01:33:45,109 --> 01:33:47,711
And if ever again
you should happen to be...
1381
01:33:47,745 --> 01:33:51,482
And I certainly will.
And please don't hesitate to make use of my name
1382
01:33:51,515 --> 01:33:53,751
and, uh, please call me
if ever you need me.
1383
01:33:53,784 --> 01:33:54,919
Oh, no, no, no...
No, no, no, no.
1384
01:33:54,952 --> 01:33:56,454
Please, I insist.
No, really, I wouldn't...
1385
01:33:56,487 --> 01:33:57,822
I wouldn't...
I'll be more than happy to come
1386
01:33:57,855 --> 01:33:59,223
I wouldn't do it.
...at my own expense.
1387
01:33:59,256 --> 01:34:00,291
Indeed.
Yes.
1388
01:34:00,324 --> 01:34:02,426
Well, cheerio then. Yeah.
1389
01:34:05,262 --> 01:34:06,564
Goodbye, Jacques.
1390
01:34:06,597 --> 01:34:08,766
Well, goodbye.
1391
01:34:08,799 --> 01:34:11,569
Goodbye.
You can expect to hear from me shortly.
1392
01:34:11,602 --> 01:34:13,637
Yes.
1393
01:34:13,671 --> 01:34:18,275
Well, don't, uh, don't take
any wooden francs, yes.
1394
01:34:29,887 --> 01:34:31,055
Inspector?
Yes?
1395
01:34:33,457 --> 01:34:34,658
Mrs. Weaver!
1396
01:34:34,692 --> 01:34:37,828
The Widow Weaver
thanks to you, Inspector.
1397
01:34:38,996 --> 01:34:41,265
No, no, Miss. Listen,
don't do anything
1398
01:34:41,298 --> 01:34:43,534
that you'll be
sorry for...
1399
01:34:43,567 --> 01:34:47,238
For our first night alone together
in that naughty Paris of yours.105443
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