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1
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:09,210
- Previously, on "Happy!"...
- "Easter Under Siege."
2
00:00:09,220 --> 00:00:10,630
We're a hit, baby!
3
00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,509
I run the third-largest
network in the nation.
4
00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:14,009
I have everything a man could wish for.
5
00:00:14,010 --> 00:00:15,889
What about the things a
man shouldn't wish for?
6
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,480
You're firing me.
7
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:18,870
You don't give me any choice!
8
00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:20,979
There is something inside me.
9
00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:25,059
I'm done being everyone's
bitch, Dr. Reddy.
10
00:00:26,570 --> 00:00:30,060
You know you are a dead man, Blue rat.
11
00:00:30,070 --> 00:00:32,220
You, me, under the bleachers.
12
00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:36,300
No! Help me!
13
00:00:36,310 --> 00:00:37,670
You almost got hurt back there.
14
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,270
Looking for these?
15
00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:42,030
You knew I needed money
for Hailey's school.
16
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:43,210
You used me, Mer.
17
00:00:43,220 --> 00:00:44,789
- Yeah, I did.
- Yeah.
18
00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,419
This very simple "B and E" of yours,
19
00:00:46,420 --> 00:00:48,709
it turned out not to be quite so simple.
20
00:00:48,710 --> 00:00:49,880
Sonny Shine.
21
00:00:49,890 --> 00:00:52,010
- A few guards showed up.
- And?
22
00:00:52,020 --> 00:00:54,110
And I'm standing here with the tapes.
23
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,350
Proof is on these tapes.
24
00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,469
The people on these tapes protect him.
25
00:00:57,470 --> 00:00:59,679
He goes down, they go down.
26
00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,599
Holy guacamole, it's Dayglo Doug!
27
00:01:03,710 --> 00:01:06,149
Who the fuck's Dayglo Doug?
28
00:01:12,210 --> 00:01:13,770
Here we go!
29
00:01:13,780 --> 00:01:15,410
Abracadabra!
30
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,090
- Bunny!
- Ow, oh! I'm Julius Caesar!
31
00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:24,170
You can't do this to me!
32
00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:26,910
Say something sweet and
eat something sour.
33
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,120
Magic and laughs
34
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:30,790
on the "Dayglo Doug Power Hour"!
35
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,259
Yeah!
36
00:01:33,260 --> 00:01:34,759
Hey, there!
37
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,389
Uh, no, no, no, no. No applause.
38
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:38,530
No applause.
39
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:41,470
I am not worthy. Thank you.
40
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,939
- We love you!
- Yeah!
41
00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:55,210
We love you, Doug!
42
00:01:55,220 --> 00:01:57,320
And it's that love...
43
00:01:57,330 --> 00:02:00,390
that has made "The
Dayglo Doug Power Hour"
44
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,590
the top-rated cable-access kid's show
45
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,490
in the greater Toledo area.
46
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:10,400
And only a handful of shows
can make that claim.
47
00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:16,540
But...
48
00:02:17,810 --> 00:02:21,510
The time has come for old Doug...
49
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,220
to hang up his hat.
50
00:02:25,290 --> 00:02:27,330
This will be the last day I host
51
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:30,770
the "Dayglo Doug Power Hour."
52
00:02:30,780 --> 00:02:34,620
Aww, no!
53
00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,500
Before I get too emotional...
54
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:43,010
I wanna introduce you
55
00:02:43,020 --> 00:02:46,130
to the new host of the power hour,
56
00:02:46,140 --> 00:02:49,470
and your new best friend...
57
00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:51,770
Sonny Shine!
58
00:03:06,590 --> 00:03:09,710
Dayglo Doug, everybody!
59
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:12,939
His best trick?
60
00:03:12,940 --> 00:03:15,109
Vanishing from his own show.
61
00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:18,359
But seriously, Doug.
62
00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:21,200
Now you'll have plenty of
time to devote to your...
63
00:03:21,210 --> 00:03:22,500
passions.
64
00:03:23,180 --> 00:03:25,370
You may not know it, but our buddy Doug
65
00:03:25,380 --> 00:03:27,250
is quite the aficionado
on a little something
66
00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:29,030
you might have studied in school:
67
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,690
World War II.
68
00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,480
Look it up.
69
00:03:35,490 --> 00:03:37,220
But I've been thinking, Double-D.
70
00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:40,820
Will you even have time to
join us as a guest star?
71
00:03:40,830 --> 00:03:43,310
Sure, that... that'd be super.
72
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:46,460
But then I think about Episode 186.
73
00:03:46,470 --> 00:03:48,790
"Episode 186"?
74
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,559
The Band-Aid episode?
75
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:51,730
Correcto.
76
00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:53,410
Where you taught us all how
77
00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:55,310
tearing off the Band-Aid quickly was
78
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,340
really the only healthy
way to move forward.
79
00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:00,710
Isn't that right, kids?
80
00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,650
And now, let's cue the music.
81
00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:12,450
Because we'd all like to remember you...
82
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:15,390
just the way you are.
83
00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:22,010
♪ Oh, fatherland, fatherland ♪
84
00:04:22,020 --> 00:04:24,350
♪ Show us a sign ♪
85
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:29,309
♪ Your children are waiting to see ♪
86
00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:32,050
♪ The morning will come ♪
87
00:04:32,060 --> 00:04:34,070
♪ When the world ♪
88
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,670
♪ Is mine ♪
89
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:40,989
♪ Tomorrow belongs ♪
90
00:04:40,990 --> 00:04:43,310
♪ To me ♪
91
00:04:43,320 --> 00:04:44,600
Doug?
92
00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:48,900
Doug, one question for the
aficionado before you go:
93
00:04:50,220 --> 00:04:54,119
About how tall would you
say Winston Churchill was?
94
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,350
Churchill?
95
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,360
About that tall.
96
00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:58,690
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
97
00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:01,990
Imagine it: Dayglo Doug was there
98
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,330
when Sonny started.
99
00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:06,330
What's the world, uh, when
you're part of history?
100
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:08,630
- "Fossil."
- Yeah, Sax, I get it.
101
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,150
He's old. What's your point?
102
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,750
I dunno, let's see: He's
senile, wears leotards.
103
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:14,690
No, sounds like a slam-dunk witness
104
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,090
to build the foundation of your case on.
105
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:18,470
Top flight police work,
Mer, digging up this gem.
106
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,510
It's not my case. It's ours.
107
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,520
Remember?
108
00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,420
We're here.
109
00:05:31,580 --> 00:05:33,539
Cut my beard off after 9/11.
110
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:35,740
And you're here to see?
111
00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,130
Doug Thorn.
112
00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:42,330
Mr. Thorn doesn't take visitors.
113
00:05:44,150 --> 00:05:45,970
He'll make an exception.
114
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,929
Did you get that out
of a Cracker Jack box?
115
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:53,290
It was my dad's.
116
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:56,350
You really stepped in number
two with that one, Nick.
117
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,290
I'll step on you.
118
00:06:01,270 --> 00:06:02,570
What's the matter?
119
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:04,900
Old people.
120
00:06:05,570 --> 00:06:06,940
What?
121
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,310
They don't like me, I don't like them.
122
00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,970
And that whole building
is filled with them.
123
00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:11,770
You smell that?
124
00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:14,000
That's them.
125
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:18,040
Whoa, whoa. Hey, psst.
126
00:06:18,050 --> 00:06:19,290
Hey, pal, pal.
127
00:06:19,300 --> 00:06:21,270
- Hey, hey, you mind?
- For residents only.
128
00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:22,379
Yeah, I got a blood sugar thing.
129
00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:24,150
If you're hungry,
130
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,220
there's a vending machine
in the restroom.
131
00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:28,880
"The restroom"? Fuck this place.
132
00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:30,290
Geez!
133
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,100
Are you my son?
134
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,540
Dr. Kevorkian's that way.
135
00:06:40,410 --> 00:06:41,840
Thank you.
136
00:06:41,850 --> 00:06:43,630
Uh, for my next trick,
137
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,950
I would like you to look...
138
00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,110
at this hat.
139
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:49,670
What do you see inside?
140
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:50,940
Nothing, right?
141
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,770
Is that really Dayglo Doug?
142
00:06:55,780 --> 00:06:58,470
He looks different.
143
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,110
Get to the Polish jokes!
144
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,740
There's your star witness.
145
00:07:02,750 --> 00:07:04,190
I will punch you in the throat.
146
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,610
So, man comes home from work
147
00:07:06,620 --> 00:07:08,240
with a duck under his arm.
148
00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:10,070
His wife answers the door.
149
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:11,719
"This is the pig I've been fucking,"
150
00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:12,720
the man says.
151
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:15,370
The wife says, "That's
a duck, not a pig."
152
00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:18,099
The man says, "I'm not talking to you."
153
00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:24,760
I don't get it.
154
00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:27,070
I was going to close this set
155
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,260
by cutting a woman in half.
156
00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:31,530
Unfortunately...
157
00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:34,630
my assistant passed away this morning,
158
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:38,570
so I would like to
dedicate today's show...
159
00:07:38,580 --> 00:07:39,800
to Gladys.
160
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,390
She died as she lived.
161
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,070
Showing off her box for a nickel?
162
00:07:53,260 --> 00:07:55,099
Mr. Thorn?
163
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,990
May we have a few words?
164
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,460
Ugh...
165
00:08:02,070 --> 00:08:04,769
Big as a baby's arm with
an apple in its fist.
166
00:08:04,770 --> 00:08:07,390
I think the word you're
looking for is "jumbo."
167
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,100
I'm immune to flattery.
168
00:08:09,110 --> 00:08:11,029
And disease.
169
00:08:11,030 --> 00:08:13,529
Now spill it, cops. Who
violated my inner sanctum?
170
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,010
There's a loaded question.
171
00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,640
Can we talk...
172
00:08:16,650 --> 00:08:18,699
openly?
173
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,499
Dario doesn't understand
a lick of English.
174
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,150
Hold still.
175
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:28,010
TBH...
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00:08:28,020 --> 00:08:30,400
we, uh, don't have a lot to go on.
177
00:08:30,420 --> 00:08:32,410
And by that we mean "nada surf."
178
00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:35,070
And seeing as how you wiped
the whole place clean
179
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,410
before we got here...
180
00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:38,850
Well, this crime scene's
got more blood traces
181
00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:41,470
than Chicago on St. Valentine's Day.
182
00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,099
But no bodies.
183
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,140
The only witness was your wife.
184
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,670
She...
185
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:48,110
fingered the pool boy.
186
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,270
Don't remind me.
187
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:52,690
Who she says was here with
a little blue unicorn.
188
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:54,750
With wings.
189
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,330
Bebe's last coherent thought
190
00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:58,920
was during the Carter administration.
191
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:01,660
You're missing the point.
192
00:09:01,670 --> 00:09:03,959
This is not an official investigation.
193
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,650
There will be no official reports
194
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:07,900
of any stiffs on my grounds.
195
00:09:07,910 --> 00:09:09,910
There will be no official
statements taken
196
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,800
from my smoking hot wife or anyone else.
197
00:09:12,810 --> 00:09:15,010
But I do expect a very firm,
198
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:17,330
hard, unofficial look
199
00:09:17,340 --> 00:09:20,410
into who the hell effed up my effigy!
200
00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:23,330
That's why you two are
unofficially here!
201
00:09:23,340 --> 00:09:24,510
Is that clear?
202
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,090
As Mother Teresa's urine test.
203
00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,480
Ain't what I heard.
204
00:09:27,490 --> 00:09:29,350
Magnifico!
205
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:32,230
No, no!
206
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:37,560
I want it to look like the
roots of a banyan tree.
207
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,820
Sonny Shine?
208
00:09:45,940 --> 00:09:47,170
No sir-ee.
209
00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:49,010
Sorry, can't help you.
210
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:51,430
I am not gonna say one word about him.
211
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,710
"El zippo."
212
00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:55,890
We're investigating some
serious crimes, Mr. Thorn.
213
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:59,469
A child kidnapping ring,
murder, extortion.
214
00:09:59,470 --> 00:10:01,820
Yeah, that sounds like Sonny.
215
00:10:02,930 --> 00:10:05,269
You two don't look like cops.
216
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,270
We're undercover.
217
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,200
Deep cover.
218
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:10,840
I said it's deep, that's all.
219
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,260
I can tell you want to talk to me, Doug.
220
00:10:14,270 --> 00:10:15,819
What are you afraid of?
221
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:17,100
Me?
222
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,529
Everything.
223
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,600
Heights, spider plants,
224
00:10:20,610 --> 00:10:22,239
three-legged jeans.
225
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,070
He's still got it.
226
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,370
Oh, he's still got it, all right.
227
00:10:25,380 --> 00:10:27,119
I just hope you can't catch it.
228
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:30,040
Listen, I can offer you
police protection.
229
00:10:30,050 --> 00:10:31,780
A new identity.
230
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:33,570
"New identity." That's a laugher.
231
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:36,580
All I ever wanted was my old one back.
232
00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:39,259
The rat bastard stole
everything from me.
233
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,719
Yeah.
234
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,929
Yeah, yeah.
235
00:10:47,340 --> 00:10:50,210
Sure isn't like the old days, is it?
236
00:10:50,220 --> 00:10:52,630
Not like when the "Dayglo
Doug Power Hour"
237
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,410
was the number one kid's
local access show
238
00:10:55,420 --> 00:10:57,100
in the greater Toledo area.
239
00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,319
You were big, Doug.
240
00:11:00,320 --> 00:11:01,910
I was.
241
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,780
I was big, wasn't I?
242
00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:06,280
Johnny "Wadd" Holmes big.
243
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:10,940
Milton Berle big.
244
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:17,520
♪ Give me a home ♪
245
00:11:17,530 --> 00:11:20,290
♪ Where the buffalo roam ♪
246
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:25,670
♪ And the deer and the antelope ♪
247
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:28,170
♪ And seldom is heard ♪
248
00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:31,110
Shh.
249
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,330
♪ A discouraging word ♪
250
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:36,470
You know, I was there to
hear the great Caruso
251
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,949
make his professional debut.
252
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:43,750
Now I've got to listen to this shit.
253
00:11:43,760 --> 00:11:47,140
Do you not know the meaning
of "solitary confinement"?
254
00:11:48,970 --> 00:11:51,110
It's meant to be just me in here!
255
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:52,190
Mm.
256
00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:53,690
Perhaps you're confused...
257
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:56,260
which seems to happen so very easily.
258
00:11:56,270 --> 00:11:58,010
So to elucidate,
259
00:11:58,020 --> 00:12:02,000
you are trapped in this prison.
260
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:05,500
I am trapped in you.
261
00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:08,010
"Trapped"?
262
00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:10,140
Well, then, just...
263
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,950
get out.
264
00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,939
I bequeath you freedom.
265
00:12:15,940 --> 00:12:18,220
Mm, if only.
266
00:12:18,230 --> 00:12:21,110
But even the demigods are constrained
267
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:24,630
by certain earthly limitations.
268
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,100
Bloodlines and all that.
269
00:12:26,110 --> 00:12:27,120
You know.
270
00:12:27,130 --> 00:12:31,230
I did try and hop into
your charming sister.
271
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,300
Much more fun body to play around in.
272
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,600
Even came with its own television show.
273
00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:39,140
But we both know how
274
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,810
that little harlequin
art came to an end.
275
00:12:43,290 --> 00:12:46,170
This is madness!
276
00:12:46,180 --> 00:12:49,150
I gotta get out of here!
277
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,840
It's not such a bad place for us, this.
278
00:12:51,860 --> 00:12:54,820
At least until I get my strength back.
279
00:12:54,830 --> 00:12:57,860
Pottery Shop. Fun.
280
00:12:57,870 --> 00:13:01,470
And all these impressionable,
281
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:03,989
homicidal minds to sway.
282
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,570
And as I get my strength back,
283
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,710
you'll have more and more blackouts
284
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:15,030
until life is one long,
continuous blackout.
285
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,540
Now, won't that be nice?
286
00:13:17,550 --> 00:13:21,610
No more waking up like a
Kennedy, wondering...
287
00:13:21,620 --> 00:13:24,830
"Who did I sodomize?
288
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,550
Whom did I kill?"
289
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:28,140
And what'll happen then?
290
00:13:28,150 --> 00:13:31,170
By then, I'll have built an army.
291
00:13:31,180 --> 00:13:32,860
No.
292
00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:35,269
I meant what will happen to me.
293
00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:36,840
Oh.
294
00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:48,750
Uh, it's... it's a great surprise.
295
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,140
Don't get me wrong, I like
this new rebel Amanda.
296
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:54,170
This "let's get crazy and ditch work,
297
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:55,370
good girl gone bad" Amanda.
298
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:59,120
You're joking, but honestly...
299
00:13:59,130 --> 00:14:01,090
I know me.
300
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,620
And these days, I haven't
felt like her at all.
301
00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:05,190
Mm.
302
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,990
It's strange even talking about it.
303
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,430
Not at all.
304
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,560
Talking it out is the best
way to deal with stress.
305
00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:14,110
That and a little hot yoga.
306
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,100
I don't think hot yoga's gonna fix it.
307
00:14:19,060 --> 00:14:21,570
Ugh. I got fired, Simon.
308
00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:23,540
Seriously?
309
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,100
That's great.
310
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:26,910
Um...
311
00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,720
I was right out of college in Seattle
312
00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,470
when the first big dot-com boom hit.
313
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,020
I found myself one of
the first employees
314
00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:34,020
in a little books-in-the-mail startup.
315
00:14:34,030 --> 00:14:35,830
Amazon? Wow.
316
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,500
No, it was EncyclopediasInTheMail.com.
317
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:42,290
Free returns killed us.
So six months later
318
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:43,870
I'm broke, I'm unemployed.
319
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,470
Living in my mother's basement.
320
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,430
I was feeling sorry for myself.
321
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:49,200
But it forced me to do a lot
322
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:51,070
of soul-searching, Amanda, okay?
323
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,590
To figure out what I
really want in life.
324
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,010
What's really important.
325
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:56,980
I realized, for me, it's giving back.
326
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,210
Making a difference.
327
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,380
Boom.
328
00:15:00,390 --> 00:15:02,980
"Ties Without Borders" was born.
329
00:15:02,990 --> 00:15:04,520
Mm?
330
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:06,560
You feel me?
331
00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:11,960
Every setback is an opportunity?
332
00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:13,930
To learn something about yourself.
333
00:15:13,940 --> 00:15:17,000
To bring something new into this world.
334
00:15:17,850 --> 00:15:20,630
Joseph Campbell said it best:
335
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:22,170
"Follow your bliss."
336
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:24,140
He should know.
337
00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:26,740
He invented frickin' "Star Wars."
338
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,880
I like that.
339
00:15:30,990 --> 00:15:33,650
"Follow your bliss."
340
00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:40,010
Yes, yes, yes!
341
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:42,050
Simon! Yes!
342
00:15:49,310 --> 00:15:50,950
You see that?
343
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:54,100
Live long enough, there's your reward.
344
00:15:54,110 --> 00:15:56,090
Breaking a hip tripping
over your oxygen tank
345
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,600
just trying to get to your bedpan.
346
00:15:57,610 --> 00:16:00,070
Why don't more people know about this?
347
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,640
How come they never showed
it on "The Golden Girls"?
348
00:16:04,190 --> 00:16:07,390
Lesbian fairytale.
349
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,720
They are talking to him right now.
350
00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:13,470
Of course, he wasn't "Sonny" back then.
351
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:16,210
Yeah, he was... he was
still "Louis Shineberg."
352
00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:19,310
He used to come to the
show, sit in the audience.
353
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,610
He was a superfan, if
you know what I mean.
354
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:24,350
_
355
00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,120
I mean, it comes with the
territory in my business.
356
00:16:27,130 --> 00:16:28,330
Don't get me wrong,
357
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:32,390
I love my little Douglets,
but after a certain point
358
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,700
it gets, you know, a little bit...
359
00:16:35,140 --> 00:16:37,780
"Superfan-tastic"?
360
00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,730
Creepy. Skin-crawling.
361
00:16:39,740 --> 00:16:41,930
- Depressing?
- Somewhat.
362
00:16:41,940 --> 00:16:43,260
Go on.
363
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:49,530
Year after year, he'd show up.
364
00:16:49,540 --> 00:16:51,600
Most kids grew out of it.
365
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,660
Not him.
366
00:16:53,670 --> 00:16:56,150
We made friends. Sort of.
367
00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:59,790
He said he wanted to be
an entertainer, like me.
368
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,240
- But it wasn't until...
- Until what?
369
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:05,610
You're gonna think I'm
some kind of a nut job.
370
00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:08,390
We're the ones who are crazy, not you.
371
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:10,400
Go ahead, dish.
372
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,800
Those things...
373
00:17:13,830 --> 00:17:16,480
The Wishees.
374
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:19,650
I still remember the first
time he showed up with them.
375
00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:21,450
The costumes.
376
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:24,570
The big round fish eyes.
377
00:17:24,580 --> 00:17:27,310
The "fuck me" mouths.
378
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:30,810
Let's face it, Louis was just a schmuck
379
00:17:30,820 --> 00:17:33,480
until those candy-colored
abominations came along.
380
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:37,170
After that, everything changed for him.
381
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:39,840
Suddenly, he just took...
382
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,770
whatever he wanted to.
383
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:44,530
Starting with my show.
384
00:17:44,540 --> 00:17:46,300
Oh, oh, question.
385
00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,260
Um, when these, uh,
whatever you call them...
386
00:17:49,270 --> 00:17:50,880
- "Wishees," Nick.
- Sax.
387
00:17:50,910 --> 00:17:53,200
Which I am to understand
are basically, uh,
388
00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:55,240
shitheads in fuzzy outfits
389
00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:57,190
that dance around the stage
with Mr. Shineberg...
390
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:01,180
when they, as you say, "showed up"...
391
00:18:01,190 --> 00:18:04,050
are we saying, like... say, for example,
392
00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:06,040
from Cleveland?
393
00:18:06,060 --> 00:18:07,470
"Cleveland."
394
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,840
- Cleveland, Ohio.
- Yes.
395
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,570
By way of the Crab Nebula, maybe.
396
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:16,320
- Ah-ha.
- And they weren't just guys in outfits.
397
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:19,590
The big guy doesn't seem very bright,
398
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,340
so I'm gonna try to make
this as simple as I can.
399
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:24,600
Back in the Etruscan age,
400
00:18:24,610 --> 00:18:27,760
this gigantic meteor
crashes into Earth...
401
00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:29,770
All right, that's it. I'm done.
402
00:18:29,780 --> 00:18:31,990
- Enjoy your interrogation.
- Where the fuck are you going?
403
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,610
I'm simply famished, so I'm gonna find
404
00:18:33,620 --> 00:18:35,950
where they stashed those
pudding cups or die trying.
405
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:37,780
You, Trigger.
406
00:18:37,790 --> 00:18:39,580
I suggest you come along.
407
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:43,030
- Your friend is a little...
- I know.
408
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:45,960
Keep talking.
409
00:18:58,910 --> 00:19:02,510
You.
410
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:03,920
You know what they say:
411
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:06,620
"Nothing makes you believe in
Hell like Catholic school."
412
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,380
No, wait!
413
00:19:09,390 --> 00:19:11,270
Wait, Hailey.
414
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,420
I'm sorry.
415
00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:15,390
I am so, so sorry for
everything that happened.
416
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,390
- Get away from me.
- Don't... don't run off, please.
417
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,690
I'm not moving. See?
418
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,820
I'll stay perfectly still.
419
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,760
I wouldn't think of hurting you.
420
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,330
It's... it's the opposite.
421
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:26,200
I... I've been protecting
you, haven't I?
422
00:19:26,970 --> 00:19:28,330
I'm just a boy...
423
00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:30,870
standing in front of a girl
424
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,480
asking her to listen.
425
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,110
I don't blame you for being scared.
426
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:36,440
This can be very confusing.
427
00:19:37,990 --> 00:19:39,740
Should we sit?
428
00:19:39,750 --> 00:19:42,280
Would that be better?
429
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,680
I see you've got your lucky keychain.
430
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:48,130
Maybe you've been thinking about things.
431
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:50,400
Questions you have for me.
432
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,890
You're supposed to be dead.
433
00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:55,330
"Dead."
434
00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:56,540
Someone told you that?
435
00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:59,350
My parents.
436
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,530
Ah, parents.
437
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:04,860
They do like making up
stories, don't they?
438
00:20:05,780 --> 00:20:07,500
Seems that...
439
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:09,600
no one wants to tell you
the truth these days.
440
00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,090
What happened to your eye?
441
00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:21,770
You're not the only one
who knows what it's like
442
00:20:21,780 --> 00:20:23,000
to be bullied.
443
00:20:26,430 --> 00:20:29,840
What if I told you that I was
forced to do what I did?
444
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,860
There are very awful people
in this world, Hailey,
445
00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:38,070
and they can make people
do very awful things.
446
00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:42,540
Doesn't make it right,
but it's the truth.
447
00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:45,510
I was happy
448
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,810
when you children were
saved by the police.
449
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:50,710
Those very awful people?
450
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,520
Not so much.
451
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,910
As you can see.
452
00:20:58,070 --> 00:21:00,560
I'm sorry, I... I can
put my glasses back on.
453
00:21:00,570 --> 00:21:03,630
So now we're supposed to be friends?
454
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,060
I don't need friends.
455
00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:08,870
I do.
456
00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:11,970
But...
457
00:21:11,980 --> 00:21:14,440
if that's the way you feel...
458
00:21:14,450 --> 00:21:16,720
I'm just happy that you're
finally hearing the truth.
459
00:21:17,620 --> 00:21:19,640
You've been lied to since
the day you were born.
460
00:21:19,650 --> 00:21:21,050
It's about time someone finally...
461
00:21:21,060 --> 00:21:22,950
What's that supposed to mean?
462
00:21:24,730 --> 00:21:26,020
No, no.
463
00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:29,820
I'm not one to open up old wounds.
464
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,260
But you do know the whole story?
465
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:36,280
Your father lied to your mother
and then ran out on her.
466
00:21:36,290 --> 00:21:38,990
And then your mother lied
to your father about you,
467
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,830
and then to you about your father.
468
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:41,870
I'm not a shrink,
469
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,670
but that is a rough place
for any kid to start.
470
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,340
I'm going.
471
00:21:49,420 --> 00:21:51,540
Wait!
472
00:21:52,690 --> 00:21:54,130
One last thing.
473
00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:56,110
When you get home and see your mother,
474
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,750
tell her we met.
475
00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:00,720
Tell her what I said.
Be honest with her.
476
00:22:00,730 --> 00:22:02,090
See what she says.
477
00:22:02,100 --> 00:22:03,690
And if you don't want to be friends,
478
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,240
you will never see me again.
479
00:22:05,250 --> 00:22:06,860
But if you do,
480
00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:10,650
just say the word and
I'll be right there.
481
00:22:22,510 --> 00:22:24,660
While others run in fear
482
00:22:24,670 --> 00:22:27,480
from those who've declared
war for any on Easter,
483
00:22:27,490 --> 00:22:31,020
one man will unite us all...
484
00:22:31,030 --> 00:22:35,940
In bringing sexy back to Easter.
485
00:22:40,530 --> 00:22:44,490
This year, if we don't celebrate Easter,
486
00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:46,250
they win.
487
00:22:52,790 --> 00:22:54,220
Just a taste.
488
00:22:54,230 --> 00:22:56,840
A little, como se dice, flavor,
489
00:22:56,850 --> 00:22:58,390
if you will.
490
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:02,720
This ain't your grandma's
Easter, am I right?
491
00:23:04,820 --> 00:23:07,250
Well? Kap?
492
00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:10,100
What do you think?
493
00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:14,270
Go, Kap, go!
494
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:16,530
Whoo-hoo!
495
00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:22,030
I think it's fucking brilliant.
496
00:23:32,690 --> 00:23:36,380
Oh, there she is!
497
00:23:36,390 --> 00:23:37,650
Who's hungry?
498
00:23:38,390 --> 00:23:39,580
If you'd told me one day
499
00:23:39,590 --> 00:23:42,700
I'd get to see Dayglo Doug
up close and in person,
500
00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:44,540
tell the story of how he met Sonny Shine
501
00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,570
for the first time, well,
I would have said,
502
00:23:46,580 --> 00:23:48,300
"Holy guacamole, somebody pinch me
503
00:23:48,310 --> 00:23:51,140
because this is a dream come true!"
504
00:23:51,150 --> 00:23:53,010
But it's not.
505
00:23:53,020 --> 00:23:55,190
Yeah, well, if it's any consolation,
506
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:57,410
that look on your face of
soul-crushing disappointment
507
00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:59,470
has been the highlight
of this whole trip.
508
00:24:04,580 --> 00:24:06,620
Sieg Heil!
509
00:24:06,630 --> 00:24:09,460
Dickless freaking Doug.
510
00:24:09,470 --> 00:24:10,930
Some witness.
511
00:24:10,940 --> 00:24:13,440
That's what I get for trusting Mer.
512
00:24:15,430 --> 00:24:17,300
You should be the black one.
513
00:24:17,310 --> 00:24:19,370
I was black last time!
514
00:24:19,380 --> 00:24:21,640
I'm not a schwarzer!
515
00:24:21,650 --> 00:24:24,220
You be the schwarzer!
516
00:24:24,230 --> 00:24:25,810
Is that gonna be us someday, Nick?
517
00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:28,750
Frittering away our last
days in a place like this,
518
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,660
arguing over some silly game?
519
00:24:30,670 --> 00:24:31,940
Don't you worry about that, pal.
520
00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:33,780
I'll drink bleach before
I let that happen.
521
00:24:33,790 --> 00:24:35,240
Besides, what are you worried about?
522
00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:37,210
You haven't even hit the
magical "P-word" yet.
523
00:24:38,870 --> 00:24:40,590
"Puberty."
524
00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:42,860
It's Latin for "pubes."
525
00:24:42,870 --> 00:24:45,790
Six-year period where you part
your hair down the middle
526
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,530
and your body gets all
awkward and, uh, pimply.
527
00:24:48,550 --> 00:24:50,880
At the same, it wants to get
naked with other people.
528
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:53,270
But what if I don't want to grow up?
529
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,640
Well, then you're gonna
have to file that one
530
00:24:54,650 --> 00:24:55,950
under "tough shit."
531
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:00,440
Um...
532
00:25:06,290 --> 00:25:08,680
Have you noticed the
staff here is funny?
533
00:25:08,690 --> 00:25:10,750
I mean, usually the people
they hire in joints like this
534
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,790
are, um...
535
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:13,990
different.
536
00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,230
- "Different" how?
- Dominican.
537
00:25:19,340 --> 00:25:21,240
Do you smell popcorn?
538
00:25:21,250 --> 00:25:22,790
Oh, hell yeah.
539
00:25:36,790 --> 00:25:38,980
Holy sheisse.
540
00:25:42,860 --> 00:25:44,860
Hey, Mer.
541
00:25:44,870 --> 00:25:47,380
Mer. Guess what?
542
00:25:47,390 --> 00:25:49,090
Turns out this place is
a home for assholes.
543
00:25:49,100 --> 00:25:50,140
Excuse me?
544
00:25:50,150 --> 00:25:51,400
Go ahead, tell her.
545
00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:53,500
Some of the people here
are a bit colorful.
546
00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:54,940
Yeah, red, white, and black.
547
00:25:54,950 --> 00:25:56,980
We saw the tape, der fuckward.
548
00:25:56,990 --> 00:25:59,360
Look, you know Sonny's
M.O. I was set up.
549
00:25:59,370 --> 00:26:00,640
If the armband fits.
550
00:26:00,650 --> 00:26:02,570
I am a history buff.
551
00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:05,740
A collector of rare and
exotic memorabilia.
552
00:26:05,750 --> 00:26:08,370
I don't belong here with these fascists.
553
00:26:08,380 --> 00:26:10,160
Okay, can someone please explain to me
554
00:26:10,170 --> 00:26:12,380
- what the hell is going on?
- Nazis, Mer.
555
00:26:12,390 --> 00:26:14,130
The place is stinking with them.
556
00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:16,860
It wasn't enough that he stole my show.
557
00:26:16,870 --> 00:26:19,460
Then he has to twist the knife.
558
00:26:19,470 --> 00:26:21,380
You know, Sonny used to say
559
00:26:21,390 --> 00:26:22,490
that the shortest book ever written
560
00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:24,330
was the German book of humor?
561
00:26:24,340 --> 00:26:27,010
That's why he stuck me here!
562
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:29,830
Don't you think I'd leave if I could?
563
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,920
I've been bombing in
front of this Stasi scum
564
00:26:32,930 --> 00:26:34,120
for a decade.
565
00:26:34,130 --> 00:26:37,560
I mean, you gotta get
me out of this place!
566
00:26:37,570 --> 00:26:40,310
♪ I can't take another bad review ♪
567
00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:41,730
- We're going, come on.
- No, no, no.
568
00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:42,980
We're not actually taking this guy.
569
00:26:42,990 --> 00:26:44,900
You said you would
protect me if I talked.
570
00:26:44,910 --> 00:26:46,520
This adult-diaper-wearing war criminal
571
00:26:46,530 --> 00:26:47,790
is not getting in my cab.
572
00:26:47,800 --> 00:26:50,310
Hey, I resemble that last remark.
573
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,320
Hey.
574
00:26:51,330 --> 00:26:53,490
I'm not doing this with you right now.
575
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:56,200
What is it about this guy?
576
00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:01,400
Visiting time, sadly, is over.
577
00:27:01,410 --> 00:27:04,330
So we're gonna have to ask you to leave.
578
00:27:06,060 --> 00:27:08,170
It's time for your pills.
579
00:27:08,180 --> 00:27:10,370
We have some more questions
to ask him off-site.
580
00:27:10,380 --> 00:27:11,390
I'm sure you understand.
581
00:27:11,410 --> 00:27:13,510
I don't think so.
582
00:27:17,220 --> 00:27:19,390
You eye-fucking me, Nietzsche?
583
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:22,920
Uh, Nick?
584
00:27:28,570 --> 00:27:30,700
Is there a problem, young man?
585
00:27:30,710 --> 00:27:32,910
Nothing we can't handle, Herr Zimmer.
586
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,280
- Oh, boy.
- You!
587
00:27:34,290 --> 00:27:36,740
Where do you think
you're slinking off to?
588
00:27:36,750 --> 00:27:39,440
You have a show in 20 minutes.
589
00:27:50,890 --> 00:27:52,900
Sieg Heil!
590
00:27:52,910 --> 00:27:55,310
Sieg Heil!
591
00:27:55,330 --> 00:27:57,570
Sieg Heil!
592
00:27:57,590 --> 00:27:59,610
Sieg Heil!
593
00:27:59,630 --> 00:28:01,500
Sieg Heil!
594
00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:06,750
Well, actually, the show starts now.
595
00:28:07,470 --> 00:28:09,320
Blitzkrieg!
596
00:28:14,380 --> 00:28:16,740
All right, NYPD! Nobody move!
597
00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:18,370
Shit.
598
00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:21,790
Fuck!
599
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,050
Doug!
600
00:28:36,060 --> 00:28:37,970
Nick!
601
00:28:44,750 --> 00:28:46,360
That's my witness.
602
00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:49,810
Lookit, Mer!
603
00:28:49,820 --> 00:28:51,810
His bones are so brittle!
604
00:29:02,830 --> 00:29:04,830
Ah!
605
00:29:08,850 --> 00:29:10,550
Sax, stop killing people!
606
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,050
Ah, come on, Mer! They're Nazis!
607
00:29:21,870 --> 00:29:23,890
Ouch-witz!
608
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,010
Papa never loved me.
609
00:30:01,490 --> 00:30:03,550
Auf Wiedersehen, motherfucker.
610
00:30:07,150 --> 00:30:10,930
"Greatest generation" my ass.
611
00:30:24,390 --> 00:30:25,880
Oh, my God.
612
00:30:25,890 --> 00:30:27,930
Look at what they did to you.
613
00:30:27,940 --> 00:30:30,140
Get off of me! Get off of me!
614
00:30:30,150 --> 00:30:31,860
Fuck!
615
00:30:31,870 --> 00:30:33,850
Get off of me!
616
00:30:38,590 --> 00:30:39,790
Is it true?
617
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:42,330
What?
618
00:30:42,910 --> 00:30:45,190
You killed all them
Russians in the toilet.
619
00:30:47,070 --> 00:30:48,320
What if it is?
620
00:30:55,590 --> 00:30:57,690
It's like...
621
00:30:57,700 --> 00:31:00,670
It's like you're two different people.
622
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,220
One's warm and loving.
623
00:31:03,230 --> 00:31:04,890
The other's just...
624
00:31:04,900 --> 00:31:06,210
cold and cruel.
625
00:31:06,220 --> 00:31:08,400
No! No!
626
00:31:08,410 --> 00:31:10,260
Don't say that!
627
00:31:10,270 --> 00:31:12,160
I'm not two different people!
628
00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:14,900
It's just me, and I am...
629
00:31:14,910 --> 00:31:16,950
I'm Blue!
630
00:31:17,820 --> 00:31:20,270
I'm Blue!
631
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:22,880
Orcus.
632
00:31:22,890 --> 00:31:25,190
This is...
633
00:31:25,690 --> 00:31:28,420
Ow.
634
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:32,630
I'm sorry.
635
00:31:35,700 --> 00:31:37,170
I'm sorry.
636
00:31:39,740 --> 00:31:43,970
You've been so kind to me, and, um...
637
00:31:45,110 --> 00:31:46,750
I've spurned you.
638
00:31:47,650 --> 00:31:49,240
You haven't, though.
639
00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:51,910
I mean, "spurned."
640
00:31:51,920 --> 00:31:54,550
- No, I spurned you.
- You really haven't.
641
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,780
I've treated you unkindly, and...
642
00:31:59,790 --> 00:32:02,850
I'm just...
643
00:32:02,860 --> 00:32:04,570
I'm scared, Pink.
644
00:32:05,730 --> 00:32:08,150
I need you tell me that...
645
00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:12,710
That it's me, right?
646
00:32:13,270 --> 00:32:15,500
I'm Blue Scaramucci.
647
00:32:15,510 --> 00:32:19,200
T-tell me I'm Blue Scaramucci.
648
00:32:19,210 --> 00:32:21,770
Yeah. It's you.
649
00:32:23,550 --> 00:32:25,520
That's right.
650
00:32:25,530 --> 00:32:27,680
You're Blue.
651
00:32:27,690 --> 00:32:29,850
You're Blue Scaramucci.
652
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,440
Oh, you nasty little tart.
653
00:32:41,450 --> 00:32:42,480
Go on.
654
00:32:42,490 --> 00:32:45,170
Oh, tell me, tell me.
655
00:32:47,150 --> 00:32:49,460
Who am I?
656
00:32:51,430 --> 00:32:55,370
♪ Ooh, Sunny ♪
657
00:32:56,710 --> 00:32:59,770
♪ Ooh, Sunny Shine ♪
658
00:32:59,780 --> 00:33:01,120
♪ Ooh ♪
659
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:07,130
Sock it to me!
660
00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:10,450
Dad, look here!
661
00:33:11,980 --> 00:33:15,050
Dad, look!
662
00:33:15,570 --> 00:33:18,530
It's Sonny Shine's original shiny mic!
663
00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:21,300
I don't know how "original" it is.
664
00:33:21,310 --> 00:33:23,100
It says on the thing!
665
00:33:23,110 --> 00:33:25,080
I mean, when I was growing up
666
00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:27,440
it was the "Dayglo Doug Power Hour."
667
00:33:27,450 --> 00:33:30,860
All this stuff is from that show.
668
00:33:30,870 --> 00:33:33,240
I'm sure you can still
find the old clips online.
669
00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,490
Who likes selfies?
670
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:37,110
Oh, my God!
671
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,060
Let's do this! Let's do this.
672
00:33:39,070 --> 00:33:40,550
Come on. Gather around, everyone.
673
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,820
Give that to me. Okay, here we are.
674
00:33:42,830 --> 00:33:44,290
Everybody say,
675
00:33:44,300 --> 00:33:47,670
"Sonny Shine Easter Live
Bonanza Extravaganza
676
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,960
With Tony Danza!"
677
00:33:51,470 --> 00:33:53,560
All right, all right,
y'all better get going.
678
00:33:53,570 --> 00:33:56,800
The Wishee exhibit closes in
20 minutes for fumigation.
679
00:33:56,810 --> 00:33:58,580
Remember, when you post those:
680
00:33:58,590 --> 00:34:01,250
#SonnyEaster.
681
00:34:01,810 --> 00:34:04,210
Make Easter great again!
682
00:34:04,850 --> 00:34:07,010
And a MEGA day to you, too.
683
00:34:18,370 --> 00:34:22,500
So the procedure is for a
root canal on Saturday.
684
00:34:22,510 --> 00:34:25,290
And the payment's been made?
685
00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:27,120
- Hailey?
- Hi, Dr. Reddy.
686
00:34:27,130 --> 00:34:28,840
I need to tell my mother something.
687
00:34:28,850 --> 00:34:30,870
It's important.
688
00:34:30,880 --> 00:34:33,090
Hailey, your mother doesn't
work here anymore.
689
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,470
But...
690
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,340
since when?
691
00:34:37,350 --> 00:34:39,340
A few days ago.
692
00:34:39,350 --> 00:34:41,810
Sorry, I thought she
would have told you.
693
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,880
Lollipop?
694
00:34:53,530 --> 00:34:55,490
It's...
695
00:34:55,500 --> 00:34:56,820
fantastic.
696
00:34:56,830 --> 00:34:58,850
I knew you'd love it.
697
00:34:58,860 --> 00:35:02,380
It's like a 3D version of
the inside of my brain.
698
00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:03,740
I know, right?
699
00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:05,540
You really are on the level.
700
00:35:05,550 --> 00:35:08,200
You said they weren't guys in suits.
701
00:35:08,210 --> 00:35:10,410
I... I'm afraid to ask, but...
702
00:35:10,420 --> 00:35:12,460
what exactly did you mean by that?
703
00:35:12,470 --> 00:35:15,610
Afraid to ask, or afraid of the answer?
704
00:35:16,490 --> 00:35:19,050
You ever talk to one
of them face to face?
705
00:35:19,090 --> 00:35:20,760
Oh, uh, no.
706
00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:22,470
See, about that... they don't speak.
707
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,060
What do you mean?
708
00:35:24,070 --> 00:35:25,670
I mean, they don't speak.
709
00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:28,980
Like Helen Keller or like a mime?
710
00:35:28,990 --> 00:35:30,260
No, no, no.
711
00:35:30,270 --> 00:35:32,860
No, they communicate through telepathy.
712
00:35:32,870 --> 00:35:35,600
- Of course.
- Uh, only Sonny can hear them.
713
00:35:35,610 --> 00:35:39,200
They speak, it goes
straight into his brain.
714
00:35:39,210 --> 00:35:41,160
Don't think it would work
so well for you, but...
715
00:35:41,170 --> 00:35:43,280
I'm gonna be in the kitchen.
716
00:35:43,290 --> 00:35:46,250
If you got tinfoil, I can
make Doug a new hat.
717
00:35:48,630 --> 00:35:50,560
Who'd believe a guy
with a smile like that
718
00:35:50,570 --> 00:35:52,290
could be so evil?
719
00:35:54,430 --> 00:35:56,650
What, that Mr. Pussy Pants is a bad guy?
720
00:35:56,660 --> 00:35:59,660
- Welcome to the party.
- I couldn't believe it.
721
00:35:59,670 --> 00:36:02,490
Me and Hailey used to...
722
00:36:02,500 --> 00:36:04,800
But I guess that's all over now.
723
00:36:04,810 --> 00:36:06,340
It's like you said, Nick.
724
00:36:06,350 --> 00:36:08,900
People change. Everything changes.
725
00:36:08,910 --> 00:36:11,090
Uh, that's right. That goes for me, too.
726
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,840
Try and knock me off the...
727
00:36:13,850 --> 00:36:16,240
Try and knock me off the wagon.
728
00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:17,650
Will of iron, pal.
729
00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:19,740
She ain't gonna be happy
730
00:36:19,750 --> 00:36:22,140
until I've broken every promise
to Amanda and the kid.
731
00:36:22,150 --> 00:36:24,210
And for what, huh?
732
00:36:24,220 --> 00:36:26,260
On a wild goose chase
733
00:36:26,270 --> 00:36:28,940
with some incontinent Kraut-dog
734
00:36:28,950 --> 00:36:31,330
who thinks Sasquatch killed Biggie.
735
00:36:31,340 --> 00:36:33,470
What are we gonna do, Nick?
736
00:36:35,100 --> 00:36:37,280
Well, for now, I'm gonna
get this jelly open.
737
00:36:37,290 --> 00:36:39,660
I mean about Sunny
and... and the Wishees.
738
00:36:39,670 --> 00:36:41,920
Doug says...
739
00:36:41,930 --> 00:36:43,430
Let me tell you something.
740
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,260
Being a grown-up means
you've gotta learn
741
00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:49,240
that heroism comes in a
lot of different forms,
742
00:36:49,250 --> 00:36:52,510
one of them being not being a hero.
743
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:53,940
Capische?
744
00:36:53,950 --> 00:36:56,650
Nick, you don't really believe that.
745
00:37:00,870 --> 00:37:02,380
This is what I believe in.
746
00:37:02,390 --> 00:37:04,520
Being there for that kid.
747
00:37:04,530 --> 00:37:07,140
Trying to give her some
kind of normal life
748
00:37:07,150 --> 00:37:08,740
after everything she has been through.
749
00:37:08,750 --> 00:37:12,000
And, you know, we got too
many freaks in leotards
750
00:37:12,010 --> 00:37:14,760
in our lives for my taste.
751
00:37:14,770 --> 00:37:16,430
Fuck them all.
752
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:18,960
I killed it.
753
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:22,500
I know I did.
754
00:37:22,510 --> 00:37:24,180
Nothing bleeds that much and walks away.
755
00:37:24,190 --> 00:37:27,040
But when I went back, it was gone.
756
00:37:27,050 --> 00:37:28,860
Something moved the body.
757
00:37:28,870 --> 00:37:31,240
I had a feeling the place
would be wiped clean
758
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,690
before forensics got there.
What they don't know
759
00:37:33,710 --> 00:37:37,440
is I took some of whatever it was
760
00:37:37,450 --> 00:37:39,120
that came out of that thing.
761
00:37:39,130 --> 00:37:41,460
You have its blood? Where is it?
762
00:37:41,470 --> 00:37:45,060
Well, I had it in here under a lamp.
763
00:37:45,070 --> 00:37:47,620
Then it started moving, like
it was trying to get out.
764
00:37:47,630 --> 00:37:50,120
No, no, no. You're
supposed to keep it cold.
765
00:37:50,130 --> 00:37:51,400
I figured that.
766
00:37:51,410 --> 00:37:53,910
I put it in a jelly jar, I
stuck it in the fridge.
767
00:37:59,220 --> 00:38:01,660
Oh, man, I needed that.
768
00:38:01,670 --> 00:38:03,820
I tell you I got a blood sugar thing?
769
00:38:26,210 --> 00:38:28,690
Sweet boneless Jesus.
770
00:38:33,590 --> 00:38:35,940
This is Captain Turdwell.
771
00:38:35,950 --> 00:38:38,680
We are experiencing
uncontrollable explosive thrust
772
00:38:38,690 --> 00:38:39,810
in both engines!
773
00:38:39,820 --> 00:38:42,120
Prepare for water landing!
774
00:38:42,130 --> 00:38:44,320
How about a courtesy flush?
775
00:38:47,670 --> 00:38:49,420
Whoo!
776
00:39:00,430 --> 00:39:01,840
Ow!
777
00:39:16,770 --> 00:39:18,880
Sax!
778
00:39:22,100 --> 00:39:24,970
Go back to hell!
779
00:40:06,830 --> 00:40:10,730
You must be Rin Tin Tikki Tavi
780
00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:12,580
walking in here.
781
00:40:12,590 --> 00:40:14,360
If I can forgive you
782
00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,800
sending six of your chums in to kill me,
783
00:40:16,810 --> 00:40:19,070
then surely...
784
00:40:19,080 --> 00:40:20,470
surely...
785
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,020
you can forgive me for merely...
786
00:40:23,030 --> 00:40:25,030
drowning them all in the toilet.
787
00:40:26,130 --> 00:40:29,010
Besides, I'm here to make you an offer
788
00:40:29,020 --> 00:40:33,270
that you simply cannot refuse.
789
00:40:34,190 --> 00:40:37,660
There are those that would
give their right hand
790
00:40:37,670 --> 00:40:39,190
to work with me.
791
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:42,560
Just because you talk
like Liam Neeson...
792
00:40:44,070 --> 00:40:46,590
This does not make you Liam Neeson.
793
00:40:48,270 --> 00:40:50,890
In ages past, it was customary
794
00:40:50,910 --> 00:40:53,710
to sacrifice black sheep in my name.
795
00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:55,630
And then...
796
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,210
to make a lovely, big pot of stew.
797
00:40:58,220 --> 00:41:00,340
Not unlike this one.
798
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,940
_
799
00:41:12,190 --> 00:41:14,650
_
800
00:41:15,900 --> 00:41:17,570
_
801
00:41:18,700 --> 00:41:21,230
_
802
00:41:22,010 --> 00:41:23,830
_
803
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:26,720
Maybe you young pioneers
804
00:41:26,730 --> 00:41:28,480
are more familiar with the Bible
805
00:41:28,490 --> 00:41:30,640
than you are with the Roman texts.
806
00:41:32,450 --> 00:41:34,110
Yeah?
807
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:37,310
For example...
808
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:40,210
"He who fails to find me
809
00:41:40,220 --> 00:41:42,810
injures himself."
810
00:41:44,230 --> 00:41:45,910
The fuck?
811
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:50,590
"And if your hand should
cause you to sin... "
812
00:41:52,540 --> 00:41:54,630
"Cut it off.
813
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,710
Throw it away."
814
00:42:02,450 --> 00:42:04,580
And what is that other verse?
815
00:42:04,590 --> 00:42:05,790
Oh, yes.
816
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:08,210
"Beware of the dogs,
817
00:42:08,220 --> 00:42:10,880
"beware of the evil workers... "
818
00:42:13,180 --> 00:42:17,210
"And beware of false circumcision."
819
00:42:24,010 --> 00:42:26,220
_
820
00:42:28,270 --> 00:42:30,120
_
821
00:42:30,130 --> 00:42:33,380
Now, here's the Bible
almost repeating itself,
822
00:42:33,390 --> 00:42:36,760
but not quite, and the
difference is crucial.
823
00:42:36,770 --> 00:42:40,450
"If your eye... causes you to sin... "
824
00:42:41,390 --> 00:42:43,790
Eat shit, demon!
825
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:45,110
"Tear it out.
826
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:46,740
Throw it away."
827
00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:55,800
I am so taken by you guys.
828
00:42:55,810 --> 00:42:57,330
I really, really am.
829
00:42:57,340 --> 00:42:58,550
I walked in here
830
00:42:58,560 --> 00:42:59,880
and immediately I'm saying to myself,
831
00:42:59,890 --> 00:43:01,160
"Oh, yes, yes.
832
00:43:01,170 --> 00:43:04,600
Here are some proper nasty boys."
833
00:43:04,610 --> 00:43:07,920
My name is Orcus.
834
00:43:09,750 --> 00:43:11,850
Orcus.
835
00:43:16,990 --> 00:43:18,480
Anything?
836
00:43:18,490 --> 00:43:20,840
Uh, as far as the residents go,
837
00:43:20,850 --> 00:43:22,990
they're practically dead to begin with.
838
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,720
Well...
839
00:43:25,730 --> 00:43:28,630
We're nowhere on who took
the tape collection.
840
00:43:31,500 --> 00:43:34,710
But I think I might have a bead...
841
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:37,170
on who took Dayglo Doug.
842
00:43:37,180 --> 00:43:40,470
A terrorist?
843
00:43:40,480 --> 00:43:42,670
Shine's gonna want to see this.
844
00:44:33,300 --> 00:44:35,730
Mm.
845
00:44:41,350 --> 00:44:42,460
Mom?
846
00:44:42,470 --> 00:44:43,660
Oh.
847
00:44:43,670 --> 00:44:45,270
Hi, sweetheart.
848
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,370
You're home a little late.
849
00:44:48,610 --> 00:44:51,410
Yeah, work was kind of a madhouse.
850
00:44:54,150 --> 00:44:56,360
It's the busiest time of the
year down at the clinic.
851
00:44:56,370 --> 00:44:57,500
Few months after Valentine's.
852
00:44:57,510 --> 00:45:00,250
Now, how was your day?
853
00:45:00,260 --> 00:45:02,310
How was school?
854
00:45:06,410 --> 00:45:08,680
Make any new friends?
855
00:45:10,940 --> 00:45:13,330
Maybe one.
856
00:45:15,990 --> 00:45:20,990
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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