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1
00:00:08,520 --> 00:00:12,260
And... ta-da!
Congratulations!
2
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:14,836
- On what?
- Well, all the doors are now shut,
3
00:00:14,897 --> 00:00:17,340
and I just sealed the last window.
So you know what that means?
4
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:18,940
We should get a carbon monoxide alarm?
5
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:23,180
No! Well, yes. But it also means
that pigeon can't get in here.
6
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,131
Which I'd say calls for a toast.
7
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:28,180
I thought we were saving that to
celebrate the woodworm treatment.
8
00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,117
Nah, it's only prosecco.
I'll buy another bottle.
9
00:00:30,177 --> 00:00:31,577
CORK RICOCHETS
Oh!
10
00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,617
See, this is why we wait
for the woodworm treatment.
11
00:00:36,677 --> 00:00:38,700
Quick!
Block the hole before the pigeon gets...
12
00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,308
COOING
13
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:43,364
- Hmm...
- How?!
14
00:01:00,837 --> 00:01:05,437
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
15
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,868
- Mike, it won't shut with that on.
- Yeah, I'm not an idiot.
16
00:01:12,928 --> 00:01:14,620
They're just holding it
while I put the Sellotape on.
17
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,120
BARKING
18
00:01:17,654 --> 00:01:18,900
Bitches!
19
00:01:18,961 --> 00:01:21,189
Bitches!
Bitches!
20
00:01:21,528 --> 00:01:23,222
Bitches!
21
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:24,730
They don't listen.
22
00:01:24,791 --> 00:01:25,862
Women, eh?
23
00:01:25,923 --> 00:01:28,267
BOTH: Um...
- Barclay!
24
00:01:28,328 --> 00:01:29,380
Beg-Chetwynde.
25
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:30,660
Wh...
What's that?
26
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,801
That's me.
Barclay Beg-Chetwynde.
27
00:01:32,862 --> 00:01:33,980
- Oh!
- From next door.
28
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,540
- Oh!
- We have a next door?
29
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:37,242
Yes, about a mile that way.
30
00:01:37,303 --> 00:01:39,682
I own the...
You know the village?
31
00:01:39,759 --> 00:01:41,700
BOTH: Yeah.
- Yes, I own that.
32
00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:45,260
We summer in Tuscany,
but got back and saw you'd moved in.
33
00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,340
Thought I should come say how do?
34
00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,257
Right. Yeah. I'm Alison, and this is Mike.
Sorry, come in.
35
00:01:51,333 --> 00:01:52,533
Thank you.
36
00:01:52,594 --> 00:01:54,940
DOG BARKING
37
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,979
BARKING BACK
38
00:01:57,040 --> 00:02:00,020
- What you say?
- Tally! Tally!
39
00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:01,900
Must have seen a ghost.
40
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,260
Ah!
41
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,100
Didn't you know?
This place absolutely riddled with them.
42
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,740
So legend has it.
There's a lady falls from a window
43
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,723
- in the west wing.
- East wing!
44
00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,370
- Dressed in white.
- Grey!
45
00:02:14,431 --> 00:02:15,620
- Georgian.
- Edwardian.
46
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:17,773
Attractive.
Early 20s.
47
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:23,060
And a strange creature
that roams the grounds,
48
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,656
half man, half ape.
49
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:28,700
Huh?
50
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,079
- Oh! Well, I haven't seen anything.
- No.
51
00:02:32,140 --> 00:02:34,420
- No, he hasn't.
- It's probably all tosh and piffle.
52
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:38,418
Anyway, reason I called,
incepto ne desistam...
53
00:02:38,479 --> 00:02:40,740
Oh, I remember this berk!
54
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,380
Met him at a party fundraiser here
back in the day.
55
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,180
Rich as Croesus.
Loves the sound of his own voice.
56
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:50,180
Which reminds me of a very funny story
I heard once on a golf course.
57
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,380
Now, there was Brucie.
That's Brucie Forsyth...
58
00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,060
Guys!
Guys, anecdote!
59
00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,140
Anecdote alert, right in the middle of one.
60
00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:01,161
Now, it doesn't really affect
your grounds inside the gates,
61
00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:05,340
but the path outside the gates is on my deed,
62
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:09,791
so, technically, you have to cross
a strip of my land
63
00:03:09,852 --> 00:03:12,340
every time you enter your house.
64
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,340
Oh.
We had no idea.
65
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,260
It's a simple thing to sort out,
66
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:20,202
but probably worth a quick powwow
at some point.
67
00:03:20,263 --> 00:03:23,700
- Yeah, sure. Well, we'll...
- Maybe you could come to dinner some time?
68
00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:25,780
Splendid idea!
See you at eight.
69
00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:28,220
- I'm free!
- Er...
70
00:03:28,687 --> 00:03:30,860
I'll bring a Pelaverga!
71
00:03:31,762 --> 00:03:35,260
- What's a...?
- Oh, and Bunny can't eat beef.
72
00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:38,420
Well, she can, but she shouldn't,
if you know what I mean.
73
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:40,380
AWKWARD LAUGHTER
74
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,567
Right, once more unto the breach!
Come along, bitches!
75
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,180
Is that all of them?
76
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,700
Never mind.
What did you do that for?
77
00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,100
Because he's got some weird claim
over our driveway,
78
00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,980
so we should probably keep him sweet.
79
00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:55,780
Besides, he's our way in.
80
00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:59,180
- To what?
- Society, Mike. We're posh now.
81
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:00,700
We should be mixing with other poshos.
82
00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:02,780
- But he is awful!
- So?
83
00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,224
Some awful people have really nice friends.
84
00:04:05,285 --> 00:04:06,780
I mean, look at your mate Greg.
85
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:09,181
- What's wrong with Greg?
- Nothing.
86
00:04:10,588 --> 00:04:13,300
Hello, girl!
You're lovely, in't you?
87
00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,648
BARKING
88
00:04:14,709 --> 00:04:18,100
It's worth it.
Ah! Hello, girl!
89
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,740
- Yeah!
- Ohh...
90
00:04:21,158 --> 00:04:22,418
BARKING
91
00:04:22,479 --> 00:04:24,140
I can't touch any more.
92
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:27,358
HOWLING
93
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,660
HOWLING
94
00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:41,640
HE SNIFFS
95
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,580
HE GRUNTS
96
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:49,560
Um... book?
Film?
97
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,100
Five words.
The Importance Of Being Earnest.
98
00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,380
Great Expectations.
99
00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:55,620
Tootsie!
Tootsie!
100
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:57,420
Tootsie!
Tootsie! Tootsie!
101
00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,660
It's Tootsie. Tootsie!
It's Tootsie!
102
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,220
Tootsie!
Tootsie!
103
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,620
Stop saying Tootsie!
104
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,420
What be a tootsie?
105
00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:05,740
PAT: Round...
106
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:07,260
er, covering...
107
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:10,580
- Oh, it's an eclipse!
- Ah! Eclipse.
108
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:12,940
- Moonah eclipse!
- God, not this again.
109
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:16,020
- Must we humour this bull calf?
- It's absolutely asinine.
110
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:19,820
It is a wonderful group activity,
and he doesn't ask for much.
111
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,380
Well, he can't ask for much.
112
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,340
Hey!
Me speak good!
113
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,060
Well! Me speak well!
I!
114
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,740
I'm not actually free tonight,
but I could do Thursday.
115
00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,460
No.
Eclipse is tonight!
116
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,940
All right, all right, all right!
117
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,220
We'll do it, provided I can do the reading.
118
00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:35,796
Not a chance, sir!
119
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:37,460
Me always do the reading!
120
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,100
- I...
- Very well.
121
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,660
We'll put it to the vote.
122
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,492
Who would you like to hear speak more,
me or Thomas?
123
00:05:47,395 --> 00:05:49,635
Be there a third option?
124
00:05:53,016 --> 00:05:54,860
Yeah, that is pretty much what I thought.
125
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,140
Torn thing of peas and a frozen lasagne.
126
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,740
Ooh!
Make your lasagne!
127
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,973
Mike, my lasagne IS frozen lasagne.
I'm not serving them that.
128
00:06:02,034 --> 00:06:04,488
I don't want them thinking that we're
the sort of that people that we are.
129
00:06:04,548 --> 00:06:06,060
Well, what do posh people eat?
130
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,940
- Turtle soup.
- No.
131
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,500
- What?
- Turtle soup.
132
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:10,780
Oh, yeah.
No.
133
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:13,420
- Oyster rissoles?
- Oyster rissoles?
134
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,354
You don't like shellfish, and
I'm not eating anything's rissole.
135
00:06:16,415 --> 00:06:17,980
I don't think it means
what you think it means.
136
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,860
- What about pheasant?
- Oh...
137
00:06:21,245 --> 00:06:22,660
What?
138
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,604
Up a bit.
Left a bit.
139
00:06:24,665 --> 00:06:26,097
Can't we just go to the shops?
140
00:06:26,158 --> 00:06:27,580
No, we haven't got time.
Just concentrate.
141
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:29,802
Down a bit.
A bit more.
142
00:06:30,443 --> 00:06:32,780
Bit more.
Bit more...
143
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,500
- Do you want to do it?
- You lost the toss.
144
00:06:35,747 --> 00:06:37,867
- Little bit more.
- Bit more.
145
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,220
- I don't think I can do...
- Fire, fire, fire! Go!
146
00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:44,775
Ha-ha!
Gleaming bundook op from the civvy!
147
00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:47,333
We'll have him out boshing Jerry in no time!
148
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,380
- What did he say?
- No idea.
149
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,660
And then something racist.
150
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,838
There's a hare.
There's a hare! There's a hare!
151
00:06:53,859 --> 00:06:55,322
- He says, there's a hare.
- There's a hare. Pom-pom!
152
00:06:55,674 --> 00:06:58,814
This is grim.
Why did I have to pluck it?
153
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,643
HE RETCHES
154
00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:03,366
In the oven for 20 minutes.
155
00:07:03,426 --> 00:07:05,926
No, you have to de-gloves the gizzards.
156
00:07:05,986 --> 00:07:08,726
Well, it doesn't say that here
and, no offence, Mary,
157
00:07:08,786 --> 00:07:11,566
but I trust the book more than you...
Oh, my God.
158
00:07:11,626 --> 00:07:13,646
- Gizzards.
- Oh...
159
00:07:13,979 --> 00:07:15,379
HE RETCHES
160
00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:20,016
Right, you're in charge of the pheasant.
161
00:07:20,077 --> 00:07:22,085
Call me when it looks done.
162
00:07:22,146 --> 00:07:25,686
- Done.
- OK, I'm going to change into...
163
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,086
What do posh people wear?
164
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,249
- Crowns?
- I'm asking the wrong person.
165
00:07:29,310 --> 00:07:31,210
Oh, yes, yeah.
166
00:07:31,619 --> 00:07:33,379
Oof!
That smells gamey.
167
00:07:35,786 --> 00:07:38,966
STRAINING
168
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:41,926
Left a bit...
No, right a bit.
169
00:07:42,721 --> 00:07:44,966
- No, left a bit...
- It's fine!
170
00:07:45,026 --> 00:07:46,446
It's amazing, isn't it,
171
00:07:46,506 --> 00:07:49,745
to think, a sacred site right here
for all those years?
172
00:07:49,806 --> 00:07:53,547
- Your own little Stonehenge.
- No! Stonehenge copied!
173
00:07:53,608 --> 00:07:55,126
- OK. All right, all right.
- Well!
174
00:07:55,187 --> 00:07:58,246
Settle down.
Now, the eclipse itself will be at...
175
00:07:58,306 --> 00:07:59,766
Dong-dong-dong...
176
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:02,366
- ...dong-dong-dong...
- Robin!
177
00:08:02,427 --> 00:08:04,467
Yes, thank you, Robin!
178
00:08:04,528 --> 00:08:05,775
We got it the first time.
179
00:08:06,404 --> 00:08:09,486
It'll be at 2100.
Nine o'clock.
180
00:08:09,546 --> 00:08:11,788
Now, I trust everyone remembers the drill?
181
00:08:11,849 --> 00:08:15,303
- I, of course, will be doing the reading...
- Farcical. It should be I... Me!
182
00:08:15,356 --> 00:08:18,580
Based on Robin's recollection
of the original ritual.
183
00:08:18,641 --> 00:08:23,606
Er, thank be to moonah!
Good light in sky...
184
00:08:23,666 --> 00:08:26,646
Loosely based. Any questions?
Excellent.
185
00:08:26,729 --> 00:08:29,719
And, as always, our muster point
will be right...
186
00:08:30,422 --> 00:08:32,812
- here.
- Moonah stone!
187
00:08:39,466 --> 00:08:45,201
No, you heathen!
Spoon on the outside, spoon on the outside!
188
00:08:45,262 --> 00:08:46,742
Oh, I can't look.
189
00:08:48,186 --> 00:08:50,201
BOTH: Is that what you're wearing?
Me?!
190
00:08:50,262 --> 00:08:51,566
You look like Downton Abbey.
191
00:08:51,626 --> 00:08:53,006
Abbey's not a character, Mike.
192
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:56,806
And, for your information, this is
entirely appropriate evening attire
193
00:08:56,866 --> 00:08:59,846
for entertaining guests of such
refined social standing.
194
00:08:59,906 --> 00:09:02,566
BOTH: The Beg-Chetwyndes are
de-facto gatekeepers
195
00:09:02,626 --> 00:09:06,046
for the county's social calendar,
and are possessing of a very fine...
196
00:09:06,106 --> 00:09:07,386
I know what you're doing.
197
00:09:08,386 --> 00:09:09,646
Fine.
198
00:09:09,706 --> 00:09:11,926
But I am reliably informed that this
is how posh people dress,
199
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,646
so I'm sorry, but I'm not changing anything.
200
00:09:13,706 --> 00:09:15,206
I'll put on a shirt if you lose the pearls.
201
00:09:15,266 --> 00:09:16,286
Yep, OK.
202
00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:18,366
DOORBELL
Ooh!
203
00:09:18,426 --> 00:09:20,256
- Argh!
- Hurry up!
204
00:09:20,317 --> 00:09:22,686
They're here, they're here!
How do I look?
205
00:09:22,746 --> 00:09:24,126
The same, Kitty.
206
00:09:24,186 --> 00:09:26,097
And remember, don't...
Just don't.
207
00:09:26,158 --> 00:09:28,166
This is important to us.
208
00:09:29,074 --> 00:09:30,806
Ah!
Annabel!
209
00:09:30,866 --> 00:09:33,486
Alison. This is Bunny.
Bunny, this is Annabel.
210
00:09:33,546 --> 00:09:35,611
Alison.
Sorry we're early, I drove here.
211
00:09:36,786 --> 00:09:37,926
Oh, yeah.
212
00:09:37,986 --> 00:09:39,486
Michael, Bunny!
213
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,366
Bunny, Michael.
214
00:09:41,426 --> 00:09:43,766
Smashing shirt.
Who is it?
215
00:09:43,826 --> 00:09:45,246
It's me?
216
00:09:45,306 --> 00:09:48,046
And I'm Kitty!
I'm wearing what I died in.
217
00:09:48,106 --> 00:09:49,646
Splendid to welcome you.
218
00:09:49,706 --> 00:09:51,566
Please do come in on...
on in through.
219
00:09:51,626 --> 00:09:52,672
Super!
220
00:09:52,749 --> 00:09:54,571
Bunny's been so looking forward
to meeting you.
221
00:09:54,631 --> 00:09:55,951
Have I?
Ooh!
222
00:09:57,626 --> 00:10:00,526
Et voila!
Pelaverga!
223
00:10:00,586 --> 00:10:03,166
- Oh!
- Let me see! Let me see it!
224
00:10:03,226 --> 00:10:05,246
- Let me see!
- Thank you. That is most kind.
225
00:10:05,307 --> 00:10:06,646
Ooh!
226
00:10:06,706 --> 00:10:08,366
SHE GASPS
227
00:10:08,663 --> 00:10:11,806
- Oh...
- I am so sorry.
228
00:10:11,866 --> 00:10:13,766
My wife recently had a head injury,
229
00:10:13,826 --> 00:10:16,587
which has caused some of
her behaviour to be a little...
230
00:10:16,648 --> 00:10:18,788
PIGEON COOS
231
00:10:19,146 --> 00:10:21,326
Mike, why don't you pop down to the cellar
232
00:10:21,386 --> 00:10:23,529
and try and find us another bottle of wine?
233
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,146
- Er, yeah...
- And I can show our guests through.
234
00:10:26,207 --> 00:10:27,686
Do come in on.
235
00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,006
The building work is still under way,
236
00:10:30,066 --> 00:10:31,932
- so you may have to adjust your...
- Bra strap!
237
00:10:31,992 --> 00:10:33,432
Bra strap.
Expectations!
238
00:10:40,826 --> 00:10:43,827
So, indeed, they advised myself
239
00:10:43,888 --> 00:10:47,086
to just sell the house without
even seeing it, but I said...
240
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:48,977
Don't speak with your mouth full!
241
00:11:03,754 --> 00:11:05,394
But I said that...
242
00:11:06,754 --> 00:11:08,054
Sorry, it's gone.
243
00:11:08,677 --> 00:11:12,025
So, yeah, the idea is to turn it
into a hotel.
244
00:11:12,086 --> 00:11:15,089
An 'otel, eh? Mmm.
Could be a nice little earner.
245
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:17,566
- Well, it will not be easy, but...
- Elbows!
246
00:11:17,626 --> 00:11:19,686
I think we're on top of things.
247
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:20,784
SMOKE ALARM BLARES
248
00:11:20,845 --> 00:11:22,366
Me, me, me!
249
00:11:22,426 --> 00:11:24,286
What's louder, me or that?
250
00:11:24,346 --> 00:11:26,886
Me, me, me!
251
00:11:26,946 --> 00:11:31,107
Sorry, I just need to go and have
a word with my... myself.
252
00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:34,359
-
Me...
- Ssh!
253
00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:36,386
BEEPING CONTINUES
254
00:11:37,826 --> 00:11:39,206
Who's had that?
255
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:42,366
COUGHING
Mary! Didn't you smell burning?
256
00:11:42,426 --> 00:11:45,566
I always smells burning.
257
00:11:45,626 --> 00:11:48,166
BEEPING STOPS
258
00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:49,704
SIZZLING
259
00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:55,541
Would you eat that?
260
00:11:55,602 --> 00:11:59,074
Well, I hasn't eaten in 400 years,
261
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:01,606
- but no.
- Ah!
262
00:12:01,666 --> 00:12:03,206
Maybe I can salvage it?
263
00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:06,606
- That's burnt. And I'd know.
- Right.
264
00:12:06,666 --> 00:12:08,045
Ooh... ah!
265
00:12:08,106 --> 00:12:09,646
Where's the, um...?
Ah!
266
00:12:10,127 --> 00:12:12,046
Voila!
Pheasant stew.
267
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,646
Right, you watch this.
I've got to get back up there
268
00:12:14,706 --> 00:12:17,686
- and convince them I haven't lost my marbles.
- What are marbles?
269
00:12:17,746 --> 00:12:20,081
- Just call me when it's reduced.
- Right.
270
00:12:22,026 --> 00:12:23,646
Reduced to what?
271
00:12:23,706 --> 00:12:25,546
HOWLING
272
00:12:28,066 --> 00:12:29,806
Sorry about that.
273
00:12:29,866 --> 00:12:31,606
Er, cremated the pheasant.
274
00:12:31,666 --> 00:12:33,646
But all sorted now!
275
00:12:33,706 --> 00:12:37,046
So, um, let's just pretend that this
evening so far never happened,
276
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:38,646
and start right...
277
00:12:38,706 --> 00:12:40,426
WOLFLIKE HOWLING
278
00:12:41,626 --> 00:12:43,726
CHANTING: Moonah-stona!
Moonah-stona!
279
00:12:43,787 --> 00:12:46,047
Moonah-stona!
Moonah-stona!
280
00:12:47,402 --> 00:12:49,526
SLURRED: So, Alison...
281
00:12:49,586 --> 00:12:51,526
- Annabel.
- Annabel.
282
00:12:51,586 --> 00:12:53,006
Moonah-stona!
Moonah-stona!
283
00:12:53,066 --> 00:12:56,246
And now thanks be to the wondrous moon
284
00:12:56,306 --> 00:13:00,486
and the guiding light it giveth
between 2100 hours...
285
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:01,886
Dramatic pause.
286
00:13:01,946 --> 00:13:05,585
Take a breath!
Give it some light and shade!
287
00:13:05,646 --> 00:13:09,686
Oh, blessed moon as spied from the Earth.
288
00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:11,726
Bright as thine eyes.
289
00:13:11,786 --> 00:13:14,526
Round as thine eyes.
290
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,959
Yet too far apart, like thine...
291
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,726
No, I don't mean your eyes, I mean...
292
00:13:18,786 --> 00:13:20,326
Thorne!
I'm doing the reading.
293
00:13:20,386 --> 00:13:21,584
I won the vote!
294
00:13:21,645 --> 00:13:24,274
To be fair, it was very close
and entirely non-binding.
295
00:13:24,335 --> 00:13:26,215
SLURRED: wouldn't you say?
296
00:13:26,946 --> 00:13:29,361
OWL HOOTS
Mm!
297
00:13:29,422 --> 00:13:32,286
- Moonah-stona! Moonah-stona!
- Yes, I wouldn't.
298
00:13:32,346 --> 00:13:34,507
CHANTING
299
00:13:34,568 --> 00:13:35,796
Or would I?
300
00:13:37,049 --> 00:13:39,586
CHANTING
301
00:13:41,986 --> 00:13:45,246
CHANTING
302
00:13:45,306 --> 00:13:46,806
I... I was saying to Mike...
303
00:13:46,866 --> 00:13:48,446
YELLING: just this morning...
304
00:13:48,506 --> 00:13:52,486
it's been unseasonably warm
for the time of year! Bread?
305
00:13:52,546 --> 00:13:53,526
No, thank you.
306
00:13:53,586 --> 00:13:54,251
CHANTING
307
00:13:54,312 --> 00:13:57,094
A lady does not raise her voice
in polite company.
308
00:14:00,746 --> 00:14:02,806
ELECTRICITY FIZZES
309
00:14:03,334 --> 00:14:04,534
ALISON LAUGHS
310
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:08,046
Stew update!
All the water's turned to clouds.
311
00:14:08,106 --> 00:14:09,238
SHE SIGHS
312
00:14:09,299 --> 00:14:11,055
CHANTING
313
00:14:12,616 --> 00:14:13,846
Is it a bad time?
314
00:14:14,971 --> 00:14:17,606
Mike!
Bit of a problem with the old...
315
00:14:17,666 --> 00:14:21,726
electrics again. Maybe you should
show our guests THE FUSE BOX.
316
00:14:21,959 --> 00:14:23,606
Um, yeah.
317
00:14:23,905 --> 00:14:25,122
The fuse box!
318
00:14:25,183 --> 00:14:27,926
Right, fuse box. Yeah.
This way, then, guys.
319
00:14:27,986 --> 00:14:29,286
Oh, yeah.
320
00:14:29,346 --> 00:14:31,880
CHANTING
321
00:14:35,986 --> 00:14:37,006
Right!
322
00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:38,886
KITTY SINGING
323
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:40,326
I'll come back.
324
00:14:40,386 --> 00:14:43,968
Now, you listen to me! I don't know
what's going on here, but... Kitty!
325
00:14:44,029 --> 00:14:45,606
STOPS SINGING
326
00:14:45,854 --> 00:14:48,886
But it stops right now,
because I'm having a dinner party,
327
00:14:48,946 --> 00:14:51,366
which should be clear from the fact
that I'm having a dinner party!
328
00:14:51,426 --> 00:14:53,486
But this moonah eclipse very special.
329
00:14:53,546 --> 00:14:55,086
I don't care what it is!
330
00:14:55,146 --> 00:14:56,726
It stops right now.
331
00:14:56,786 --> 00:14:58,486
Now, hang on a moment.
332
00:14:58,546 --> 00:15:02,206
This is a time-honoured ritual
that means a great deal to Robin
333
00:15:02,266 --> 00:15:04,650
and, frankly, I think
he deserves a little respect.
334
00:15:04,711 --> 00:15:07,126
- Yes. Moonah is...
- Shut up, Robin!
335
00:15:07,186 --> 00:15:08,966
The point is, we were here first,
336
00:15:09,026 --> 00:15:11,686
so maybe you lot should take your leave.
337
00:15:12,027 --> 00:15:13,087
No.
338
00:15:13,148 --> 00:15:15,566
This is my house now
and I'm not going anywhere.
339
00:15:15,889 --> 00:15:18,206
Well, neither are we.
340
00:15:18,429 --> 00:15:19,789
Quite right!
341
00:15:20,746 --> 00:15:21,946
WHISPERS: Sorry.
342
00:15:23,493 --> 00:15:24,835
Wait there.
343
00:15:25,786 --> 00:15:28,206
Right.
Stand firm, everybody.
344
00:15:28,310 --> 00:15:31,326
I don't know what she has in her arsenal,
but we shall remain resolute
345
00:15:31,386 --> 00:15:33,349
against the tyranny that is...
SHE GASPS
346
00:15:36,026 --> 00:15:37,406
Ooh!
347
00:15:37,466 --> 00:15:39,902
- What in the name of St Cuthbert?
- Mm?
348
00:15:39,963 --> 00:15:41,885
It's all the colours at once!
349
00:15:42,434 --> 00:15:43,806
But what does it do?
350
00:15:43,866 --> 00:15:45,966
I'm so glad you asked.
351
00:15:46,291 --> 00:15:47,680
Come this way.
352
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:50,867
But, no, wait...
353
00:15:50,928 --> 00:15:52,823
- It's a compact disc.
- Guys!
354
00:15:53,748 --> 00:15:55,468
But it's moonah!
355
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:04,029
And last but not least, we have this one,
356
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:07,485
- which is "west wing socks."
- Sockets.
357
00:16:07,546 --> 00:16:10,646
Ah. Yeah.
That makes more sense.
358
00:16:10,706 --> 00:16:14,606
And I think that is all the fuses
I can show you.
359
00:16:14,868 --> 00:16:16,526
- Fascinating.
- Yeah.
360
00:16:16,586 --> 00:16:19,726
To be honest, there's not really
anything that fabulous down here.
361
00:16:19,786 --> 00:16:21,446
Speak for yourself.
362
00:16:21,506 --> 00:16:23,886
Ooh.
Plonk!
363
00:16:23,946 --> 00:16:27,098
- Oh! Clearly a connoisseur.
- I'll grab another bottle.
364
00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:29,246
Actually, while we've got a moment,
365
00:16:29,306 --> 00:16:32,726
perhaps we could just discuss
the whole access issue?
366
00:16:32,786 --> 00:16:34,166
- I don't...
- Splendid!
367
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:37,926
Now, the former owner and I just had
a gentleman's agreement,
368
00:16:37,986 --> 00:16:40,606
but if you're going to run this
place as a business,
369
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:44,246
you probably want something a bit
more official in place,
370
00:16:44,306 --> 00:16:46,167
- financially speaking.
- Um...
371
00:16:46,228 --> 00:16:51,386
So, what if I were to sign
over access rights to you for...
372
00:16:51,447 --> 00:16:54,766
Oh, what shall we say?
Oh, I don't know. 20?
373
00:16:54,826 --> 00:16:56,286
20?
374
00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:57,886
Oh, 20's fine!
375
00:16:57,946 --> 00:16:59,996
Wonderful.
376
00:17:00,057 --> 00:17:01,886
And since we're all friends now,
377
00:17:01,946 --> 00:17:04,966
let's call it 19,500.
378
00:17:05,026 --> 00:17:06,366
GLASS SMASHES
379
00:17:06,426 --> 00:17:07,806
Sorry!
380
00:17:07,866 --> 00:17:09,566
Less 30 quid for that.
381
00:17:09,626 --> 00:17:11,106
HE CHUCKLES
382
00:17:12,746 --> 00:17:15,606
Wow!
Look at the quality!
383
00:17:15,927 --> 00:17:17,606
Knocks the socks off of Betamax.
384
00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:19,566
It's called Friends.
It's a comedy.
385
00:17:19,626 --> 00:17:20,966
Like Vanity Fair.
386
00:17:21,026 --> 00:17:23,646
No, that's a magazine.
And this is a box set. So,
387
00:17:23,706 --> 00:17:25,029
plenty more where that came from.
388
00:17:25,089 --> 00:17:27,526
Have fun, don't leave the room and...
389
00:17:27,586 --> 00:17:29,228
Don't leave the room.
390
00:17:31,386 --> 00:17:34,886
It just appears to be five people
sitting around on a sofa.
391
00:17:35,449 --> 00:17:38,406
What's so amusing about...?
Hello!
392
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:40,106
Who is this?
393
00:17:42,136 --> 00:17:44,504
- Ah, Annabel!
- Sorry, sorry, won't be a moment.
394
00:17:44,565 --> 00:17:45,726
No hurry.
395
00:17:45,786 --> 00:17:48,770
- OK. Slight problem.
- Oh? And it was going so well.
396
00:17:48,831 --> 00:17:50,717
Yeah.
So you know the whole access thing?
397
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,406
Barclay said that we could have
the rights for 20 grand.
398
00:17:53,466 --> 00:17:55,379
Ha! Yeah!
Dream on, mate.
399
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,729
Yeah. I know, right?
The thing is, I think I shook on it.
400
00:17:58,790 --> 00:18:00,406
- Huh, what?
- Well, he held his hand out.
401
00:18:00,466 --> 00:18:02,707
What was I supposed to do?
Not shake it?
402
00:18:02,768 --> 00:18:04,846
- Yes!
- I can't do that. It's too awkward.
403
00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:06,966
If someone puts their hand out,
I always shake it.
404
00:18:07,026 --> 00:18:08,846
Can this evening get any worse?
405
00:18:08,906 --> 00:18:13,846
Right. Stew news!
I believes it has reduced.
406
00:18:13,906 --> 00:18:15,688
SIZZLING
407
00:18:16,599 --> 00:18:18,511
That is beyond reduced.
408
00:18:18,572 --> 00:18:22,033
Yeah, I've got to be honest,
I don't know what "reduced" means.
409
00:18:25,686 --> 00:18:26,978
Yeah.
410
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,681
Well, that was wonderful.
411
00:18:29,742 --> 00:18:32,806
- Yes!
- However do you get it so square?
412
00:18:32,866 --> 00:18:35,286
Secret, I'm afraid.
Old family recipe.
413
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:38,566
- Another!
- No, come on, Buns, you've had enough.
414
00:18:38,626 --> 00:18:41,286
Right, then, port and poker!
415
00:18:41,346 --> 00:18:42,594
Money on the table.
416
00:18:42,946 --> 00:18:46,166
Actually, talking of money...
About the access thing...
417
00:18:46,226 --> 00:18:49,611
Oh, that's all sorted.
Worked something out with your fella here.
418
00:18:49,672 --> 00:18:50,886
Oh, come on.
419
00:18:50,947 --> 00:18:52,526
- Wow.
- Good lad.
420
00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:55,286
Right, am I dealing everyone in?
421
00:18:55,346 --> 00:18:57,326
- Yep!
- I'm afraid we don't play.
422
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:59,109
I play. I'm a player.
423
00:19:00,689 --> 00:19:04,279
- I'm not sure you are, Mike.
- I am a player.
424
00:19:04,748 --> 00:19:05,982
OK.
425
00:19:07,299 --> 00:19:09,760
Right, well, I guess I'm getting
the port, then.
426
00:19:09,821 --> 00:19:11,061
Deal.
427
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:15,616
There we go.
That's yours...
428
00:19:22,506 --> 00:19:23,806
Oh, dear.
429
00:19:24,139 --> 00:19:25,899
I've lost 100 quid.
430
00:19:28,146 --> 00:19:31,266
- Beginner's luck, I assure you.
- Another hand?
431
00:19:37,579 --> 00:19:39,846
MUSIC AND LAUGHTER
432
00:19:39,906 --> 00:19:42,006
She is beguiling, the Lady Rachel.
433
00:19:42,066 --> 00:19:45,069
Is it her hair?
Perhaps it's her hair.
434
00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:47,093
There's something about her hair.
435
00:19:47,154 --> 00:19:50,646
I'm Phoebe.
And Lady Button's Monica.
436
00:19:50,706 --> 00:19:53,166
ALL AGREE
And the Captain's Ross.
437
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,566
What?
No! I'm clearly Chandler.
438
00:19:55,626 --> 00:19:57,021
It's a dry wit, but it's there.
439
00:19:57,082 --> 00:19:59,662
I'm sorry, did we zip our lips?
I think we zipped our lips.
440
00:19:59,723 --> 00:20:00,923
Oh.
441
00:20:11,786 --> 00:20:15,646
There'll be a light
442
00:20:15,706 --> 00:20:18,307
In the dark...
443
00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:22,514
Robin!
We're watching Friends here, mate!
444
00:20:22,575 --> 00:20:24,606
Right, I need your help.
445
00:20:24,666 --> 00:20:26,526
GHOSTS: Shh!
No, no, no. It's important.
446
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:30,646
As is this!
My empathy's hewn betwixt lovelorn Ross
447
00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:33,086
and Joey, the Veronan lothario.
448
00:20:33,146 --> 00:20:35,286
- No, you don't understand...
- No, young lady,
449
00:20:35,346 --> 00:20:36,686
you do not understand!
450
00:20:36,746 --> 00:20:40,675
You cannot banish us with one breath, and
then demand our reinforcement with the next.
451
00:20:40,736 --> 00:20:43,206
No moonah stone, no help lady!
452
00:20:43,266 --> 00:20:45,806
- Oh, come on. Surely one of you will...?
- Alison!
453
00:20:46,186 --> 00:20:50,899
Just to check,
can I stops watching the pot now?
454
00:20:52,065 --> 00:20:56,610
- I can't play gambles.
- No, no, you don't need to.
455
00:20:56,671 --> 00:20:59,206
Just look at his cards
and tell me what you see.
456
00:20:59,266 --> 00:21:00,846
- Oh...
- Yeah?
457
00:21:00,906 --> 00:21:02,746
SNORING
458
00:21:04,391 --> 00:21:05,896
Sorry.
Needed a wee.
459
00:21:05,957 --> 00:21:08,366
Better out than in.
I've dealt you a hand.
460
00:21:08,426 --> 00:21:10,206
Great.
Great, great, great.
461
00:21:10,687 --> 00:21:11,967
Hmm.
462
00:21:13,222 --> 00:21:15,767
In fact, why don't we make
this interesting?
463
00:21:16,571 --> 00:21:18,106
Double or nothing.
464
00:21:18,167 --> 00:21:20,886
If you win the game, then we you
pay double what you wanted
465
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,046
- for access to our drive.
- What?
466
00:21:23,107 --> 00:21:24,405
40,000?
467
00:21:25,426 --> 00:21:27,166
And if I lose?
468
00:21:27,881 --> 00:21:29,755
You sign it over for free.
469
00:21:30,746 --> 00:21:33,349
You're trying to bluff me!
470
00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:36,452
Nice try, but nothing gets past me,
Annabel.
471
00:21:36,513 --> 00:21:39,064
- You're on!
- Are you insane?
472
00:21:39,706 --> 00:21:40,906
Argh!
473
00:21:45,906 --> 00:21:47,206
Right.
474
00:21:48,332 --> 00:21:50,206
CLEARS THROAT
Yeah.
475
00:21:50,266 --> 00:21:53,686
There's a person whose blanket
is also a person,
476
00:21:54,032 --> 00:21:58,539
but it's upside down
and be like they've had a quarrel.
477
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,385
There's a number more than three
478
00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:04,454
but with a shape that's like a loaf,
479
00:22:04,515 --> 00:22:07,875
but it's on its side,
on the end of a wrong stick.
480
00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:12,446
Just pop a cheque in the post.
481
00:22:12,506 --> 00:22:15,098
Or a banker's draft, whatever's easier.
482
00:22:15,159 --> 00:22:17,199
Was I wearing shoes?
483
00:22:18,186 --> 00:22:21,126
Honestly.
Can't take her anywhere.
484
00:22:21,186 --> 00:22:23,806
Come on!
Silly moo.
485
00:22:23,866 --> 00:22:24,947
Ah, there you are.
486
00:22:25,008 --> 00:22:28,806
Now, it's saying to load
the next disc into the...
487
00:22:28,866 --> 00:22:31,166
We need disc two.
Where's disc two?
488
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:34,806
Forget it, OK?
Thanks to you, we just lost ?40,000!
489
00:22:34,866 --> 00:22:37,086
What?
What did we do?
490
00:22:37,146 --> 00:22:38,852
Nothing.
That's the whole point!
491
00:22:38,913 --> 00:22:41,933
40 grand?
To that gasbag?
492
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,126
What did you do, play him at poker?
493
00:22:44,186 --> 00:22:46,366
HE CHUCKLES
Oh, she did!
494
00:22:46,426 --> 00:22:49,805
Sorry, just to clarify,
that was a firm answer on disc two?
495
00:22:49,866 --> 00:22:53,486
Word of advice, never play someone
who can afford to lose.
496
00:22:53,546 --> 00:22:56,726
Not as if he needs the money either.
Unless it's for legal fees.
497
00:22:56,786 --> 00:23:00,846
Maybe they've finally found out
about that bank account in Fiji.
498
00:23:01,249 --> 00:23:02,449
Hmm?
499
00:23:05,906 --> 00:23:10,926
SLURRED: Now, keys.
- Not sure you should drive, Buns.
500
00:23:10,986 --> 00:23:13,546
Oh, no! I'm fine.
Look.
501
00:23:18,332 --> 00:23:20,325
- I stand corrected.
- Yep!
502
00:23:20,386 --> 00:23:23,806
- Thank you for a lovely evening, Annabel.
- Alison.
503
00:23:23,866 --> 00:23:27,526
And no hard feelings
about the whole, you know?
504
00:23:27,586 --> 00:23:29,686
No, no, no, no, a deal's a deal.
505
00:23:29,746 --> 00:23:32,606
- I was thinking of doing a bank transfer.
- Ooh. Very modern.
506
00:23:32,666 --> 00:23:35,126
I'll "e-mail" you my details.
507
00:23:35,186 --> 00:23:36,726
Great, great.
508
00:23:36,786 --> 00:23:39,514
And is that for your current account
or the Fiji account?
509
00:23:40,746 --> 00:23:42,535
What's the Fiji account?
510
00:23:45,614 --> 00:23:47,166
You know what?
511
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,926
What's a little card game
between friends, eh?
512
00:23:51,986 --> 00:23:56,686
Let's... Let's just forget this
silly money nonsense.
513
00:23:56,746 --> 00:23:59,498
I'll sign over the access rights to you
514
00:23:59,559 --> 00:24:03,783
gratis and pop the papers in the post
first thing.
515
00:24:03,844 --> 00:24:05,444
Come along, Bunny!
516
00:24:07,506 --> 00:24:08,806
FARTING
Oof!
517
00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:10,826
Was that lasagne beef?
518
00:24:13,906 --> 00:24:15,836
How did you know he had a...?
519
00:24:16,428 --> 00:24:17,628
Oh.
520
00:24:18,306 --> 00:24:19,486
Thank you.
521
00:24:19,546 --> 00:24:21,265
- They're not here.
- Oh.
522
00:24:21,326 --> 00:24:23,046
They're upstairs watching Friends.
523
00:24:23,106 --> 00:24:24,446
- Oh.
- Hmm.
524
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:26,406
- This place is weird.
- Yeah.
525
00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,046
Look out, Bunny, that's the gate!
526
00:24:28,106 --> 00:24:30,006
I can see it!
527
00:24:30,066 --> 00:24:32,326
Still, that's one problem sol...
PIGEON COOS
528
00:24:32,386 --> 00:24:33,566
FLUTTERING
529
00:24:33,626 --> 00:24:35,246
DOG BARKS AND GROWLS
530
00:24:35,306 --> 00:24:36,486
CRUNCH!
531
00:24:36,546 --> 00:24:37,746
BOTH: Ooh!
532
00:24:39,066 --> 00:24:45,206
Oh! I mean, I didn't like that
pigeon, but that is no way to go.
533
00:24:45,538 --> 00:24:47,485
- Better than being shot.
- Yeah.
534
00:24:47,826 --> 00:24:49,366
Oh.
535
00:24:49,426 --> 00:24:50,626
Oh...
536
00:24:51,986 --> 00:24:54,106
HE RETCHES
537
00:24:57,666 --> 00:24:59,006
No second disc, guys.
538
00:24:59,066 --> 00:25:02,546
Ugh!
Could that BE any more vexing?
539
00:25:05,826 --> 00:25:08,026
You all right, mate?
GRUNTS SOFTLY
540
00:25:10,392 --> 00:25:13,256
What is it, you know, about the moon?
541
00:25:13,605 --> 00:25:15,205
Why do you care so much?
542
00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:20,092
Before you was moonah.
543
00:25:20,546 --> 00:25:23,736
Before house was moonah.
544
00:25:24,735 --> 00:25:26,196
Everything come,
545
00:25:26,786 --> 00:25:28,192
everything go.
546
00:25:29,153 --> 00:25:30,826
But always there.
547
00:25:32,047 --> 00:25:33,607
Moonah.
548
00:25:36,351 --> 00:25:39,464
The only thing that's been here
as long as you have.
549
00:25:40,556 --> 00:25:41,916
GRUNTS SOFTLY
550
00:25:52,605 --> 00:25:54,305
Several of cubs.
551
00:25:54,366 --> 00:25:56,366
- Getting closer.
- Knock-knock.
552
00:25:57,570 --> 00:25:59,606
I say that cos I can't, erm...
553
00:25:59,666 --> 00:26:01,886
I just wanted to say sorry...
554
00:26:01,946 --> 00:26:04,392
for what happened at dinner.
From all of us.
555
00:26:04,674 --> 00:26:07,006
Well, mainly from me, because
Julian can take or leave you,
556
00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:09,646
and Lady Button's not keen,
and as for the Captain, well...
557
00:26:09,706 --> 00:26:12,166
Pat, it's fine.
I mean, well, no, it isn't.
558
00:26:12,226 --> 00:26:14,246
But we'll muddle through.
559
00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:15,886
Eight of hearts!
560
00:26:15,946 --> 00:26:17,046
Yeah!
561
00:26:17,106 --> 00:26:21,392
Yeah.
In that spirit, so to speak,
562
00:26:21,453 --> 00:26:24,453
I actually had a little favour
I wanted to ask.
563
00:26:25,439 --> 00:26:26,739
It's for Robin.
564
00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:35,886
Right, so, are you going
to get the ghosts or...?
565
00:26:35,946 --> 00:26:37,214
They're here.
566
00:26:38,062 --> 00:26:40,550
We might've missed
the ritual this year, but...
567
00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:42,232
Well...
568
00:26:42,713 --> 00:26:44,538
to old friends!
569
00:26:44,599 --> 00:26:46,574
ALL: To old friends.
- Old friends.
570
00:26:46,635 --> 00:26:48,220
God, I miss booze.
571
00:26:50,948 --> 00:26:53,155
Robin, light pollution.
572
00:26:53,889 --> 00:26:55,246
Oh, yeah.
573
00:26:55,306 --> 00:26:57,146
HE GRUNTS
574
00:27:04,848 --> 00:27:07,446
Pray tell, how you doing?
575
00:27:07,506 --> 00:27:09,386
No, don't.
HE MOUTHS
576
00:27:13,172 --> 00:27:17,772
Synced & corrected by minouhse
www.addic7ed.com
577
00:27:17,822 --> 00:27:22,372
Repair and Synchronization by
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