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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,253 --> 00:00:05,376 Unprofessional behaviour, damage to the reputation of the firm, 2 00:00:05,377 --> 00:00:09,239 using the public forum of the Lawyer of the Year Awards to call your 3 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:12,559 colleagues "a shower of shithouses". 4 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,239 Innocent office banter. 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:16,599 And he stole my yoghurt from the office fridge. 6 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,199 I didn't touch your fucking yoghurt. 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,999 I move that we suspend Ken Thompson from the firm for a period 8 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,600 of one month. 9 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:25,060 All in favour of suspension? 10 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:28,959 - Three. - All against? 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:33,879 Er... 12 00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:37,679 So, do... I make that four! 13 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:38,959 Oh, well, thanks, everyone. 14 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,639 I must say... 15 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,879 What's going on? What are you doing to my arm, Ken? 16 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,160 Shit it! 17 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,279 All right. I'll go. 18 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,080 See you all in a month. 19 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,959 Oh, and, Adrian, I did steal your yoghurt. 20 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,759 A stole it, and I ate it, and I loved it. 21 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:11,600 Subs by btsix www.addic7ed.com 22 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,160 - Your morning coffee, Rachel. - Oh. 23 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,439 Oh! Argh! 24 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:20,999 I'm good. 25 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:23,439 - In a mug's fine. - But I need the practice. 26 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,279 You have to know how to mix a cocktail 27 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,039 when you're co-owner of a cocktail bar. 28 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,759 - Yeah, can we talk about the bar? - Yes. 29 00:01:28,760 --> 00:01:31,839 And I know exactly what you're going to say. And, I agree. 30 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,839 Opening this bar with Steve was a great idea. 31 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:34,959 Not what I was going to say. 32 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,719 - Oh... - Dale, it's a terrible idea. 33 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:39,479 It's the worst idea anyone in this house has ever had, 34 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,799 and I'm including Dylan. 35 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,959 Oh, excuse me, what terrible ideas have I ever had? 36 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,520 Uh, hello, hand job at a funeral? 37 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,644 Fair enough. 38 00:01:46,646 --> 00:01:48,239 I know what will put your mind at rest. 39 00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,340 - Calling Steve? - No. 40 00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:50,399 - Getting your money back? - Mm-mm. 41 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:52,439 Going back in time and not investing your savings 42 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:54,079 - into a Lichfield cocktail bar? - No. 43 00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:56,599 I'm going to take you by the site, show you the magic. 44 00:01:56,600 --> 00:01:59,400 Once you see All Steve's Pals, you'll get it. 45 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:07,279 Lorna, any reason why our son is dressed as a girl? 46 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,559 It's what he wanted to wear. 47 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:11,039 I know, but, come on, look at him. 48 00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:13,959 Ken, you are such a dinosaur. 49 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,239 Children's clothes, their toys, they're all gender-neutral now. 50 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,959 I know, and that's broadly great, but, I mean, come on, Dylan, 51 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,239 you're with me on this, right? 52 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,239 Actually, Dad, society's moved on since the Dark Ages. 53 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:27,879 This thing called political correctness happened. 54 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,159 You might want to look it up, you big fat bender. 55 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,879 Right. OK, I haven't got time for this. 56 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,039 If you would. 57 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,679 Do not forget, the interview for the nursery's at one. 58 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:38,039 Do I have to come? 59 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,039 Yes, Ken. This nursery is the dog's doodah of nurseries. 60 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,359 There's a waiting list to get on the waiting list. 61 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,199 They bake bread every day, Ken. 62 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,319 They learn French, don't they, sweetheart? 63 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,519 French, Ken! 64 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:50,824 Good, because I've been worried sick 65 00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:52,559 about Sid's conversational vocab. 66 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,999 If Jane doesn't let you out for this... 67 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,559 It's fine. I can get out. 68 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:58,599 It'll be fine. 69 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,320 Everything at work is fine. 70 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,399 Stop with all the questions, Lorna, will you? 71 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,040 I'm late enough as it is! 72 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,840 I think you look lovely, sweetheart. 73 00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:15,600 Fuck. 74 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:21,359 Eh... 75 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:22,720 Bye. 76 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,720 Go in. There's nothing interesting to see. 77 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,919 - You're going to love it. - Uh-huh. 78 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,959 Yep. You really have to pass a lot of heroin addicts to get here. 79 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,079 I know, right? It's crazy. 80 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,519 People in this neighbourhood seem to really love heroin. 81 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,359 I don't know why. 82 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:01,720 So, what do you think? 83 00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,599 - What am I looking at? - That. 84 00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:07,399 All Steve's Pals. 85 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,999 Don't worry, it's a lot nicer inside. 86 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,119 Ta-da! 87 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,079 Go on, get out. 88 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,039 Go on, shoo, shoo. 89 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,080 There's no heroin in here. Go on, out. 90 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:21,839 Honestly... 91 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:23,719 - Howdy, business partner. - Hey. 92 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:26,199 Howdy, girlfriend slash stepmum of business partner. 93 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,199 - OK. - Glad you're here, Rachel. 94 00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,879 I need a woman's insight. 95 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,359 If you were a cocktail waitress, 96 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,439 would you rather be topless or wrestling? 97 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,919 I think I'd rather be suing. 98 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,799 Right, before the licensing meeting, 99 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,039 who fancies the latest cocktail from the production line? 100 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:44,639 I've been trying out recipes. 101 00:04:44,640 --> 00:04:46,279 Here's a sexy USP - 102 00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,479 the cocktails are all All Steve's Pals, 103 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:52,839 and are named after high-profile glamorous figures from the Midlands. 104 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,279 - Great idea, right? - Sure, it's... 105 00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:56,679 Yeah, but... 106 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:59,519 - Yeah. - This one is the Dion Dublin. 107 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:00,560 OK. 108 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:06,559 Urgh, oh, the taste of being absolutely shitfaced in the morning. 109 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,879 - How strong is that? - 75% proof. 110 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,959 You don't get 183 career goals without having a kick. 111 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:12,987 Yeah! 112 00:05:12,989 --> 00:05:15,479 Now, this one is a potent mix of gin, vodka, absinthe, 113 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,759 coffee and Ribena. 114 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,479 I call this the Julie Walters. 115 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:21,639 Tuck in. 116 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,799 Oh, no, I quite like my stomach lining, thanks. 117 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,679 Yeah, I probably shouldn't before the licensing meeting. 118 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:27,839 Don't want to screw that up. 119 00:05:27,840 --> 00:05:30,959 Can you imagine? All of a sudden, no licence, no bar, 120 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:32,600 all of our money back. 121 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:36,919 Actually, um, thinking about it, 122 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,479 if you're going to run a bar, you need to know the drinks. 123 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:42,879 - Go on. - Right, but I don't drink. 124 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:45,199 Dale! Dale! Dale! 125 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,519 Dale! Dale! 126 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,119 Oh, come on! You know I can't resist a chant. 127 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,039 Dale! Dale! 128 00:05:52,040 --> 00:05:53,239 Yeah! 129 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:54,679 Oh... 130 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:56,559 Tastes like my tongue's been attacked. 131 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,119 That's Dame Julie for you. 132 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,839 More, more, more, more! 133 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:02,879 More, more, more... 134 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,479 Yeah! 135 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,799 Woo! 136 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,319 We offer three meals a day. 137 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:09,439 Great. 138 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,159 Won't even have to bother whopping a sausage and mash on for him! 139 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:16,199 All the food here is strictly vegan and ethically sourced. 140 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,239 Oh, Sid's a vegan. 141 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,479 We all are. 142 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,639 I make a mean vegan sausage and mash with vegan sausages 143 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,680 and vegan... potatoes. 144 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,479 I'm so sorry my husband's late. 145 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,440 I'll just get the forms. 146 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:35,799 Where the hell have you been? 147 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,159 Why have you got popcorn all over your suit? 148 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:40,159 It's a lawyer thing. You wouldn't understand. 149 00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,519 Um... 150 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,519 Can we maybe get all that crap off him? 151 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,120 Leave him, he's happy in it. 152 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,239 Sorry I'm late. Hope you're not going to put me on the naughty step. 153 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,839 We prefer to not use negative labels here. 154 00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:55,119 We prefer to use positive reinforcement. 155 00:06:55,120 --> 00:06:56,919 Oh, my bad. 156 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,400 Please don't use the B-word. 157 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,360 Bet she's fun at parties. 158 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,399 OK, so we'll move on to the next question. 159 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,319 Will there be alcohol sales at the aforementioned premises? 160 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,039 Yes! Obviously! 161 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:16,999 This thing is going to be huge, let me tell you. 162 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,224 Everybody's going to be like, 163 00:07:18,226 --> 00:07:20,039 "Hey, have you been to All Steve's Pals?" 164 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,119 And they'll be like, "What's All Steve's Pals?" 165 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:24,759 And they'll be like, "Oh, jeez, only the best damn cocktail bar 166 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,119 in all Lichfield, duh!" 167 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,253 - Dale. - Yeah? 168 00:07:28,255 --> 00:07:30,239 You're coming across as drunk. 169 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:31,719 I'll field that question. 170 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:33,759 There will be alcohol. 171 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,199 Would you like a sneak preview? 172 00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:39,360 I've got a fresh bottle of Adrian Chiles. 173 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,759 No, thank you. 174 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,239 You freaking get it. 175 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:47,519 This, right here, this is what it's all about. 176 00:07:47,520 --> 00:07:49,999 Man, you... 177 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,319 You get it, Frank. 178 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,599 OK, listen, can I be frank, Frank? 179 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:55,800 "Frank, Frank"! 180 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,239 That's hilarious. 181 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,479 See, this is why you get it. Exactly. 182 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,880 Everybody else in this council, they don't get it, but, you... 183 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,079 ...you get it, yeah, yeah. 184 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,239 It says on the application that the premises will be 185 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,439 an indoor beach bar. 186 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,879 Correcto, Franco. 187 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,919 All Steve's Pals will be the ultimate 188 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:19,160 in Miami-style high-class beach bars. 189 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,999 Have you seen the video Club Tropicana? 190 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,479 It's basically going to be that, but with topless dancers. 191 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,639 So there will be entertainment on-site? 192 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,999 All Steve's Pals is all about entertainment. 193 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,119 Dancers, swing ball, duelling - it's the lot. 194 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,285 Dale! Psst... 195 00:08:36,287 --> 00:08:38,479 Yeah, yeah, carry on. Carry on. I'm listening. 196 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:39,719 I just really needed to go. 197 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:41,159 OK, I think we're done here. 198 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:42,359 Thank you. 199 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,879 All right, sorry, I'm back. 200 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:46,119 So, when do we get the licence? 201 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,999 Also, do you know what colour the licence is? 202 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,759 And do you want to get a kebab? I'm so hungry. 203 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,560 The licence has not been granted. 204 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,159 Bad move, Mr Suit and Tie. 205 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,040 The council has made a powerful enemy today. 206 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,759 There must be something we can do, anything, please. 207 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,079 Like, we just... 208 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,920 ...we really need this licence. 209 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:29,160 Perhaps if it was worth my while. 210 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:34,600 There are ways to grease the wheel. 211 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:42,120 This could go easier if I got my slice of the pie. 212 00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:47,359 Seriously. Here's my card. 213 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,079 I'm just going to write a few random letters on the back. 214 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:54,920 B-R-I-B-E. 215 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:00,799 Frank! 216 00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,959 Sorry, I just remembered the whole "Frank, Frank" thing from earlier. 217 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:07,159 Great times. 218 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:08,959 Right, um, 219 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,399 if you don't mind, I'm just, I'm going to have to go vomit, 220 00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,600 but it was really nice meeting you. 221 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,719 I'll be honest with you, 222 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,319 I'd love to find Sid a place here... 223 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:27,159 Oh, that's great! 224 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,240 We've never had a transgender child before. 225 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,400 Sorry? 226 00:10:32,402 --> 00:10:35,568 I know, strictly speaking, there aren't any places available, 227 00:10:35,569 --> 00:10:40,119 but between you and me, I've been holding back a space 228 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:43,799 for a non-cis child for the last three years. 229 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,439 OK, I think there's been a bit of a mistake... 230 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:47,879 That's great, Frances. 231 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:53,279 It's great to find a place where Sid can be who Sid wants to be. 232 00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:57,119 My daughter goes here, and I think she'd really get along with Sid. 233 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,839 They're such similar spirits. 234 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:02,079 Sid's having a birthday party tomorrow. 235 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,319 Just bring her along! 236 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,479 I'd love to. 237 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,039 Number's on the back of the card. 238 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,920 OK, Lorna, can I have a word, please, in private? 239 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,079 OK, we are not pretending that Sid is transgender. 240 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,239 - We don't know he isn't. - We're pretty sure, actually. 241 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,079 It's a really good nursery, Ken. 242 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,039 But is it this good, Lorna? 243 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,599 I'll see you tomorrow. 244 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,279 Can everyone just hold on a minute here? 245 00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:30,839 Ken! Shut this down and you will never ever 246 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,680 have sexual intercourse again in your adult life. 247 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:37,799 Right. See you tomorrow. 248 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,279 Bye. 249 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:40,919 Bye. OK, Sidney. 250 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,840 Where are you? Oh! 251 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:49,079 I wasn't sure what birthday cake really says gender fluid, 252 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,399 so I just went for plain sponge. 253 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,879 It's got no icing. 254 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,520 Maybe I should text Frances, see what she says. 255 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,079 No. She'll think we are amateurs. 256 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,999 Mental, mental amateurs. 257 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,879 Oh, I bumped into Noel from your office when I was there. 258 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,359 What? 259 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,999 You know he lies, don't you? 260 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,079 He can't be trusted. It's pathological. 261 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,359 He told me he invented the smartphone. He's a lunatic. 262 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:14,599 It was weird. He asked me to say hi to you. 263 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:16,239 That is weird. 264 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:18,079 Ah, probably best not to dwell on it. 265 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:20,639 I told him to bring Alfie over, to the party tomorrow. 266 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,039 Why would you do that? 267 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,319 Him and Sid get on. 268 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,479 They're toddlers, Lorna, of course they get on. 269 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,959 Sid gets on with the madwoman with the cats at number 14. 270 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,199 Should we invite her, too? 271 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,799 Oh, look what I got for Sid. 272 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,199 The belle of the ball. 273 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,799 OK, this is going too far, Lorna. 274 00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,480 Yeah, I know. 275 00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,199 Maybe it doesn't matter about what nursery you go to. 276 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,999 I mean, Dylan didn't go to a good nursery and he turned out fine. 277 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,439 How was your day, love? 278 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,599 Um, amazing! 279 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:50,359 I never realised they still have to pay you 280 00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:51,999 when you're using the toilet. 281 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,199 It's like, every time I'm sat on that toilet, 282 00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,479 they're actually paying me to do it. 283 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,439 I mean, I need to go for one now, 284 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,839 but there is no chance I am wasting a dump at home when someone will 285 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,479 literally pay me to shit. 286 00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,079 Ha! The daft twats! 287 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:08,439 Yeah, as you were, Lorn. Yeah. 288 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:13,319 - Everything OK? - No, bad news, guys. 289 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:15,799 The alcohol licence fell through. 290 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,919 - No cocktail bar. - Oh... 291 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:19,199 That's a shame. 292 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:22,279 And the council guy, he was saying some pretty weird things. 293 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:27,079 Something about making it worth his while and having a slice of pie. 294 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,119 - Like, what does that even mean? - I don't know. 295 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:30,799 It means he wants to bribe you, dickhead. 296 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,759 Just bung him some money, you'll get your licence. 297 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,279 You're saying if I bribe him, the bar is back on? 298 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,999 - No! - Yes! 299 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,919 What?! 300 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,040 Yes! That is the best news ever! 301 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:49,159 Oh, gosh, not in the stomach, Rach. 302 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,999 I've got a lot packed in there right now. 303 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,439 Eurgh! 304 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,719 This is so exciting. 305 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,919 My final five grand. 306 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,159 Wait, this whole bribe thing, it's all above board, right? 307 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,359 No, it's a bribe. 308 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,544 Right, yeah. 309 00:14:02,546 --> 00:14:04,559 This is how things get done in the dirty world 310 00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:05,959 of entertainments licensing. 311 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,959 We are like the Kray twins. 312 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:09,840 We don't take shit from any... 313 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,680 Oh, come on. 314 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,519 You are literally taking shit from someone. 315 00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:17,986 I'm very disappointed in you. 316 00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:19,081 I'm sorry. 317 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,677 Have a lovely day. 318 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:23,879 Stop being nice to people. 319 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:27,079 You're taking the whole fun out of this bribing trip. 320 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,120 Prick! 321 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,280 Bye. 322 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:42,319 I've managed to get Sid into the dress. 323 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,879 He says he wants to be Spider-Man. 324 00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,119 Good work. 325 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:47,559 Lorn, is it wrong that we're doing this? 326 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:49,079 It feels massively wrong. 327 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:50,799 Maybe... 328 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:55,239 Maybe, actually, by doing this, we're being great parents. 329 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,559 By helping him to overcome prejudice. 330 00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,639 Yeah. That's bollocks, though, isn't it? 331 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,679 - Noel, hi! - Lorna, 332 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,279 - how's it going?! - Hello, Noel. 333 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,759 Lorna, could you check on Sid? 334 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,879 I think he was playing with scissors in the bedroom. 335 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:13,239 - What? - Yeah. 336 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,999 How are you holding up, big guy? 337 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,799 The office isn't the same without you. 338 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,319 - Come on, then. - Yeah... 339 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,159 Yeah, can we have a moratorium on work talk? 340 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,839 Today's really about the kids, isn't it? 341 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,519 Yeah, it's awful what they've done. 342 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,999 I'm dead against the suspension, Ken, I want you to know that, 343 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,309 and I want Lorna to know the same. 344 00:15:28,311 --> 00:15:30,079 Right, OK, well, we don't need to tell her. 345 00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,425 It'll only upset her, OK? I should have tried harder to stop this. 346 00:15:32,426 --> 00:15:34,719 - Stop what? - Private conversation! 347 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,919 That's actually quite rude, thank you, Lorna. 348 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,479 In you go, Noel. Have a nice time. 349 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:43,639 - Oh! Oh! You made it! - Hello. 350 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,119 Hello. This is Jessie. 351 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,359 Hello. Hello, Jessie. 352 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:50,759 Now, you go and play with Sid, OK? 353 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,039 Aw, what a darling dress. 354 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:56,479 Yes, yes, it's his favourite. 355 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:58,679 I can't get it off him. 356 00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,359 - Not that I'd want to. - No. 357 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,959 - It's great. Come in. - Aw. 358 00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,439 Oh, this is for Sid. It matches his dress. 359 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,240 Oh! 360 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,639 This is it, the licence officer's house. 361 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:19,559 Time to make him an offer he can't refuse. 362 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:22,879 Although, technically, of course, he can. 363 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,640 I don't think he's in. 364 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:35,840 Steve? 365 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,040 Just post the bribe and let's get out of here. 366 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,279 - OK. - That's it, we're done. 367 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,519 We are bribers now. 368 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:49,279 Yeah! 369 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,999 Wait, should we still have the money? 370 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,480 What have you posted? 371 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,599 Yep. I posted the dog poo. 372 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,400 Oh, for fuck's sake. 373 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:08,880 Dale... 374 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,839 We'd already had a boy and a girl, which is so binary. 375 00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:18,399 Then Sid came along. 376 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,719 Yeah! 377 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:21,000 - Mini-burger? - Mm-hm. 378 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,439 Wow. And these are vegan? 379 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:28,639 Lorna, they're sublime. 380 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,159 Yeah, vegan. 381 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,999 Vegan beef. 382 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,759 - You'll have to give me the recipe. - Uh-huh. 383 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,639 So, Lorna, just to say, I know you're angry about it... 384 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,479 Game time, everyone! 385 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,679 Musical statues. 386 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,479 Everyone! And the adults. 387 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,279 And you, Noel. It's a party. 388 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,439 Come on. 389 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:49,600 And everybody's... dancing! 390 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,359 Are you dancing? 391 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:56,720 Come on, hold my hand. 392 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:03,919 So, yeah, as I was saying... 393 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:05,719 Er, no talking in the game, thank you, Noel. 394 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:08,719 In fact, you can leave the game. You're out. Away from Lorna. 395 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,559 Over there, please. That's it. 396 00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:11,920 Off we go. 397 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,079 Back in the fucking game, Lorna, please. 398 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,760 Still in. Off we go dancing! 399 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,799 Everyone. 400 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:26,760 That's it. 401 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,680 I can't reach it. 402 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,919 There's an open skylight on the roof. 403 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,479 There's only one thing for it. 404 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,199 I'll parkour up the side of the house, 405 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,680 flip up onto the roof and ease my way in. 406 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,600 Let's do this! 407 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,080 Huh! 408 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,880 Oh! 409 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,319 Good news is, I got the bag. 410 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,919 Bad news... 411 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,640 ...poop's still in the house. 412 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,120 There's a window open. 413 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,759 Give me a leg up. I can get in here. 414 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:23,439 Are you sure? 415 00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:25,439 Dale, I'm effectively special ops. 416 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,799 They call me The Eel. I can glide into any space. 417 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:29,600 Come on. Give me a leg up. 418 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:35,120 Oh... 419 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,439 OK. 420 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,680 Flip me over. Flip me over. 421 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,520 Flip. 422 00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:03,159 That's it. Now push. 423 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,759 Keep pushing. Keep pushing. 424 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,439 Whoa, you carry a lot of change. 425 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:11,759 I like arcades. 426 00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:14,199 Keep pushing. 427 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,599 Argh! 428 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,079 Are you OK? 429 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:21,159 It's all right, the ground broke my fall. 430 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,519 Just going to black out for a bit. 431 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:26,999 I'm in a lot of pain. 432 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,639 In a lot of... 433 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,080 ...pain. 434 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,280 Boo! You did a poo-poo? 435 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,999 - Hi, Ken. - Hi. 436 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,239 I couldn't help noticing that you only gave a prize 437 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,399 to the winner of musical statues. 438 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,599 Yeah, because they won. Hm. 439 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,319 Just worried that the others might associate themselves with failure. 440 00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:58,119 Negative reinforcement. 441 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,039 Good point. 442 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,079 I'll get some medals made up for all of them. 443 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:04,360 Great. Thanks, Ken. 444 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,479 Ken, is there somewhere I can change him? 445 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,679 Oh, yeah, just use that room at the end of the corridor. 446 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:11,679 Cheers, thanks. 447 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,359 Rachel, where's your mum? 448 00:21:13,360 --> 00:21:15,280 Oh, she's in my room, changing Sid. 449 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,119 Are going to do it now? 450 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,279 - Yeah. - Why not stay here for a bit? 451 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,719 Because my son needs changing. 452 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,119 What are you doing, Ken? 453 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:36,828 Why don't I change him for you? 454 00:21:36,829 --> 00:21:37,847 What? 455 00:21:37,849 --> 00:21:40,479 Well, no, I'd really, really like to, and it is my house, so... 456 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,959 I'll change my own son, thanks. 457 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,439 No, no, I insist. 458 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:44,879 Come on, little fella. 459 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,599 Phwoar, Jesus, what's he been eating, the fish heads? 460 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,119 Can you let go of his hand, please? 461 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:50,479 What is this? 462 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:51,919 Is it a nanny state? 463 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,240 Can't a man change another man's son's nappy? 464 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,359 - Hey... - No, he can't. 465 00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,279 - What's going on? - Ken's being weird. 466 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,999 I just offered to change his son. 467 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,239 Nothing weird. 468 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,519 You're being weird, Ken. 469 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:05,719 Look at you. 470 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,079 I know you're under a lot of pressure at work, but come on, 471 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,199 if you need to change anyone, change your own son. 472 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,279 What sort of pressure at work? 473 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,159 I think you should leave, actually, Noel. 474 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,559 You can't say that. 475 00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,879 Thinking I should change my son just because he's wearing a dress. 476 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,239 - That's not what I meant! - It's not the Dark Ages. 477 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,799 I think you should go right now. Without speaking to Lorna. 478 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,599 Personally, I think it is inspirational 479 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,559 the way Ken and Lorna have decided to raise Sid. 480 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,039 Thank you. I'm not having a go at the dress. 481 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:31,479 He can wear what he wants. 482 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,400 Daddy made me wear it for nursery. 483 00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,360 Is that true? 484 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:45,039 I can't believe you would fake a child's gender identity 485 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,160 just to get into a good nursery. 486 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:49,960 We've done a lot worse. 487 00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:53,879 Come on, Jessie. 488 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,959 Thank you for coming. 489 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:58,799 Um... Don't forget your party bags. 490 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,039 Two bunches, please. 491 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,999 And can the message say, 492 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,479 "Sorry we tried to trick you into thinking our child 493 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,159 "was transgender to gain a nursery place." 494 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,039 Yeah, maybe just, "Sorry." 495 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,079 Yeah, just, "Sorry." 496 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,560 As soon as possible, please. 497 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:26,759 We can smooth this over. 498 00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,160 Uh-huh. 499 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,799 How are we doing out there, Dale? 500 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,839 One knock for fine, two knocks for someone's coming. 501 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,319 Three knocks for Connie called you and she wants me back. 502 00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:54,399 Come on, three. 503 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,079 Ah... 504 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,280 I'll get some bog roll to wrap this up. 505 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,560 No, Dale, no more Mr Nice Guy, you're a briber now. 506 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:16,040 Oh, just as I thought I was out, they pull me back in. 507 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,519 Hi, ma'am, I'm Dale. 508 00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:20,720 Do you need some help? 509 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:24,440 Wow, you have a lot of shopping. 510 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,360 So many bags for just two people. 511 00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:39,479 Oh, you've been such a good girl today. 512 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:43,199 Oh, Mummy's got a message. 513 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:44,840 What's that, then? 514 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:48,320 Hmm... 515 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,920 Hi. Steve Chance. 516 00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,079 Don't worry about that, a dog did that. 517 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:01,760 Oh... 518 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:21,160 Delivery for you. Take care. 519 00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:28,120 Subs by btsix www.addic7ed.com 37282

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