All language subtitles for Columbo.3x07.Swan.Song

I saw the light, I saw the light

No sorrow in sight

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

What did he mean, murder?

And why am I talking to
somebody from Homicide?

I appreciate it, sir, but, uh,
my ears pop in an elevator.

As a matter of fact, I don't
even like being this tall.

You know, I'm very happy
you told me that.

Why's that?

Well, you know, that's what started
your brother-in-law thinking that...

you had something to do
with murdering his sister.

Here, I'll park the car
for you, Mr. Brown.

Thank you.

How's the box office
going for tonight?

All sold out, sir.

That's great!

Ah, thank you, sir.

I want you to check out
the sound system, Luke.

I want you to find me
an engineer.

Okay.

While I'm performing, I want you
to keep the candy hawkers...

and the picture sellers
out of the aisle.

I don't want them out there
when I'm trying to do a show.

I always do.

Yeah, you're really on the ball,
ain't you, Luke?

I try, Tommy.

I saw the light, I saw the light

No more darkness, no more night

Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

I walked in darkness
and clouds covered me

I had no idea
where the way-out could be

Then came the sunrise
and rolled back the night

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

I saw the light, I saw the light

No more darkness, no more night

Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

Just like a blind man
I wandered astray

Straight is the gate
and narrow the way

Then like the blind man
that got back his sight

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

I saw the light, I saw the light

No more darkness, no more night

Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

I saw the light, I saw the light

No more darkness, no more night

Now I'm so happy,
no sorrow in sight

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

Thank you very much. Thank you.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

- Tommy, kiss me.
- Tommy boy, kiss me.

Tommy, kiss me.

Please kiss me, Tommy.

Hmm, maybe later.

Tommy?

All right now. Do you all hear me?

You're going home.

You hear me? You all go home.

He's not coming out and he's not
asking you all in.

So please go home.

I'm asking you
nicely now, go home.

Officers, you get them.
Clear the crowd.

Hurry them along officers,
please.

Thank you.

Sis.

Yes?

When you gonna tell me
what you got on Tommy...

that makes him
toe the line like that?

Well, I'll tell you when I think
it's fit for you to know.

Shucks, Sis, if anything
ever happens to you...

Well, the good Lord
will see that it doesn't.

How about later?

Not so good.

It's coming out
the teletype now...

from our Los Angeles
weather station.

Coastal fog moving in
after midnight and, uh,

they're forecasting
zero ceiling and visibility...

in the Basin and foothills.

But you can beat it if you take off
in the next half hour.

Thanks.

I'd like to persuade you people
to come back, Mrs. Brown.

Hell, we can sell out Tommy Brown
for damn near a month here.

I don't hold with profanity,
Mr. Dodds.

Oh, I'm sorry.

To the Lost Soul Crusade,

"hell" and "damnation" are
not words to be taken lightly.

Yes, ma'am,
but what about extending?

We're booked into Los Angeles
this week.

And then we have special ceremonies
for the groundbreaking...

at the tabernacle site
on Tuesday.

Are you folks really spending
$5 million to build it?

It'll be the finest temple to the
glory of the Almighty in America.

The first $1 million
is already in escrow.

Mrs. Brown, your end
of tonight's take...

is $30,000,
we took in about $50,000.

Fine.

Will you be waiting around
for it?

Luke will.

But I'll want to check the figures
myself as soon they're ready.

Yes, ma'am. Won't be long.

When are we taking off?

I want to talk to you.

I'm listening.

Alone.

Well, now, if what you
want to talk about...

is what you're all the time
talking about,

Maryann can stay.

She's got a lot to do with it.

We got a good thing going, Edna,

and it would be crazy
to bust it up.

Bust it up?

I'm not aiming to.

I am.

You've got $1 million in escrow
to build a tabernacle...

and you can't
get the rest without me.

I know that, Tommy.

And I was thinking, maybe you
and I could compromise, Edna.

You take half the money for
the Crusade and I'll take half.

Every penny goes to the Crusade...

until that tabernacle is built.

You can push
a man too far, Edna.

I'm being used
and I don't like it.

Other singers drive around
in Ferraris, Rolls,

I don't even own a car.
It's me they come to hear, Edna.

It's my records they buy.

It was me
who got you a parole...

to get you away from that
Arkansas prison farm...

or you'd still be rotting there.

I kept my part of the deal, Edna.

I married you
and I've been faithful to you.

Because I watch you.

You are a lustful sinner,
Tommy.

I saw the expression
on your face...

when you were gonna
kiss that lost child.

If it wasn't for me
you'd be using the Crusade...

to lure her
to some motel right now,

or into the back of your car
if you had one.

If I had one.

May God forgive me...

for letting a devil
help me build a temple.

And what if your devil quits,
what are you going to do?

Why now, it would
all go down the drain,

and you and me with it.

I seem to remember
a little Bible myself, Edna.

"Vengeance is mine,
saith the Lord."

It was also written:

"The Lord works in mysterious ways,
His wonders to perform."

I am his instrument...

and I would punish you, Tommy.

Maryann and me.

Those people out there just
might not believe you and Maryann.

How about those motels...

where you register as a father
and daughter with Maryann?

How old were you then, child?

16.

16.

All those phony names,

the dark glasses that haven't been
seen through yet.

Of course, you weren't
so well-known then.

But your handwriting has got to be
on some of those registers.

And one of those clerks
could recognize Maryann,

and you, too,
if she pointed the finger.

Hasn't been
but three years, Tommy,

but I've read the law.

The statute of limitations hasn't
run out yet on the Mann Act.

Statutory rape.

Oh, no.

You won't
quit the Crusade, Tommy.

You're a sanctimonious hypocrite
of a bible-spouting blackmailer...

and I've given you
your last chance to be fair.

Your insults and threats
don't scare me.

Uh, Mr. Dodds is
ready for you, sis.

Right. I won't be long.

Take your time.
We can't fly now, anyway.

Oh. Why not?

Weather's bad in LA.

Improving after midnight.

We're not going to take a chance
on leaving until after midnight.

I'm gonna grab a couple of hours
of shut-eye.

Well, now, if you're thinking
of looking for that child...

that came to the door,
you forget it.

Because I'll be right back,

to make sure that all you're
grabbing is shut-eye.

You want me to
fly back to LA with you?

No, I want you
to ride on the bus, Luke.

There's mountains
between here and LA...

and that old crate don't climb
so good with four people on board.

Making another hint
for a new plane.

Tommy, you're
wasting your breath.

Wasting my breath when I sing, too,
considering what I get out of it.

Hey, Luke, take this guitar
on the bus with you.

You want me to put it in
with the baggage?

No, I want you to put it on
the seat right by you.

Don't put it under anything,

and don't let that guitar
get broken, Luke.

Okay, Tommy.

Hi, Mr. Brown. Mrs. Brown.

Evening.

It sure is good to see you, sir.

Are we all fuelled up?

Uh, yes, sir.
All systems go, Mr. Brown.

Sure. It's good taste
you got in music there.

Uh, yes, sir.

Oh, I sure wish
I could have gotten off...

to go to that
concert of yours tonight.

- What's your name?
- Uh, Jeff.

Well, Jeff, next time
I play Bakersfield,

I'll get you
a couple of passes.

Oh, I sure do
appreciate that, sir.

Sure, I'll be glad to it.

Oh, Mr. Brown.

All right, stow my
luggage for me, will you?

Oh, sir, right away, sir.

Now, now, hurry, will you? Please.

Hey, Jeff.

Yes, sir.

These are keys to my rent-a-car.

It's got plenty of time
left on it...

so if you'd like to drive around
awhile, go ahead.

Impress your girlfriend.

Oh, I sure do
appreciate that, sir.

All right.

You'll do no such thing.

You'll turn that car in right away
and I've checked the mileage.

Uh, yes, ma'am.

Oh, $5. I sure do
appreciate that, sir.

All right, don't...

Get a hand there.

Watch your feet. There. Ah.

Tommy, we are cold.

Heater is busted.
I got some coffee here.

Hot coffee.

Hold it for me, darling.

Tom, this is the most horrible
coffee I've ever tasted.

Well, it's better than nothing.

Sorry. You can't
come into this area.

I'm from the Los Angeles
Police Department.

Lt. Columbo.
Who's in charge here?

Mr. Pangborn.

Over there, being interviewed.

We're speaking
with Mr. Roland Pangborn...

of the air safety division of...

the National Transportation
Safety Board.

Mr. Pangborn is heading up
the investigation of this...

very tragic air crash.

Do you have an opinion as to the
cause of the crash, Mr. Pangborn?

Well, Hal, just the statement
the pilot made at the hospital.

He had a total electrical system's
failure, and his, uh,

instruments and his radio
were out.

However,
I will say, unofficially, that, uh...

Save it.

What's the matter?

This fellow's been wandering around
in this shot and...

it's getting very distracting.
Hal, I'm sorry.

Would you mind,
just for a moment, please?

I'm sorry.

I've got you in the wide shot.

I think we can pick him up
in a single.

Fine.

Uh, Mr. Pangborn,
you were about to give us...

an unofficial opinion
of the cause of the crash.

Uh, excuse me, this is
one of the big problems...

we have at these crash sites:

curiosity seekers.

Hold it for a minute, will you?

Sir!
I'll have to ask you to leave.

L.A.P.D., Lt. Columbo.

I just didn't want to identify
myself in front of the reporter.

Why not?

Well, like you were saying,

better to be unofficial
until you get the facts.

Well, just what facts
have you got?

I don't have anything, just what
I read in the morning newspaper.

I think it's a miracle
this guy got out of the plane.

You know, it was a relief
to my wife.

She's a big fan of this fellow's.
Knows all his albums.

Can you imagine getting out
of this thing alive?

It's unusual.
But not unheard of.

I'm not clear why there's...

police interest
in this crash, Lieutenant.

Ah, you see, that's what I mean,
you know.

As soon as you mention
that you're from the police,

then right away, everybody
starts speculating,

especially when you say
you're from Homicide.

Homicide?

Why is Homicide interested in this,
Lieutenant?

We got a complaint
from a member of the family,

Mrs. Brown's brother.

What do you mean, complaint?

Nothing definite.
Just suspicion of foul play.

But I heard what you
just said over there.

It was
electrical system failure.

That's what the pilot said.

And that's what you fellas
will probably call the...

probable cause?

Contributing. Yeah, I'd say.
Unofficially, though.

It'll still probably be
that old, reliable standby:

pilot error. Almost always is.

You see, Brown was not
instrument-rated...

and he flew into minimal weather
and he lost his orientation.

Got the ship into a stall
configuration and just spun in.

But that's always been
and still is,

as a matter of fact,
the number one causative factor...

in private flying accidents
of this type.

Sometimes augmented
by a blood-alcohol count.

Mr. Pangborn,
could you come back here...

just for a moment? And bring
your investigating team.

We're losing the light,
it'll just take a moment.

We'd like to get this
this film to the lab.

Fellas, just come around and
stand over on either side of me,

if you will, please.
Mr. Pangborn?

- Bring him in.
- Ready? Okay, get ready to roll.

- Okay, that's it. Rolling.
- All set? All right. Fine.

Hold it.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Look, just stand by
with the lights.

You looking
for something specific?

Uh, was that checked?

The engine?
No, but it will be.

No, I didn't mean the engine.
What you said before,

Mr. Brown's blood count
for alcohol.

At the hospital, at our request.
But no.

He was cold sober,
no drugs, nothing.

Mmm-hmm.

Listen, if the engine
went into a stall,

would that be considered
pilot error?

No, i-it's not the engine.

Lieutenant, when we
speak of a stall,

we mean stalling the wing.

Well, that's getting the ship
into too steep a climb.

And that is easy to do...

in tight weather with a
blacked-out instrument panel.

No, he just
shouldn't have been flying...

around these mountains
at low altitude...

without an instrument rating
in the kind of weather...

we had last night.

Um, Bakersfield to LA is an hour.
You know, by plane.

Couldn't he have gotten that
weather ahead of time?

Told me he did when I talked
to him at the hospital.

But he'd made the flight
lots of times...

and he felt he could
sneak through okay.

Mr. Pangborn, please,
we're losing the light.

Just for one moment, please, sir.

Why don't you finish it up,
get it over with?

All right, roll it again now.
Let's go.

- Keeping it tight.
- Mr. Pangborn.

Rolling.

As you can see, Mr. Pangborn and
his staff are very busy people...

and we have to interrupt
our interview from time to time.

However, Mr. Pangborn
has rejoined us again,

and with his permission,
we'd like to continue.

Go right ahead.

I think the public is
very interested in these...

aircraft accident investigation
techniques, Mr. Pangborn.

We'd certainly like to
follow through on this one.

Would it be possible
for our crew to cover...

some of your procedures?

Oh, I think
it could be arranged.

Now, if one of our questions
is out of line, sir,

just say the word
and we'll withdraw it.

Thank you.

I'll give you the regulation
"no comment."

That's fair enough. First,
I'd like to ask why...

you have the pilot's statement,

why is it necessary to make
any investigation at all?

Well, that's purely a routine.

There's no reflection
at all on this pilot.

As a matter of fact,

pilots are a very
special breed of artists.

You know, it's called
the art of flying.

And, uh, many of them are not really
the strong or silent types...

that are generally depicted.

Some of them are quite emotional.

They tend to blame themselves
for a crash...

even when it might have been
due to circumstances...

beyond their control, you see.

You mean there might have been
some sort of...

mechanical failure that even
the pilot was unaware of?

Oh, exactly.

We'll take all of the engine,

electronic and structural parts
of the wreckage back to our hangar,

and give it
a thorough examination.

We give it an X-ray,
chemical analysis,

microscopic metallurgical testing,
that sort of thing.

So, what we have is
the pilot's statement...

which makes our job easier.

A lot easier, and the situation
a lot clearer.

Well, thank you very much,
Mr. Pangborn.

This is Hal Fischer,
in the Los Angeles mountains.

Okay, that's a wrap.

Got it.

He's saying he felt
he could make it.

The same old story,
the same old fatal results.

Were the two women
sitting in the back?

Right.

Are these the seat-belts
for the two backseats?

Yeah.

I noticed they weren't jarred open
by the impact of the crash.

They never are.

Well, that explains it.

Explains what?

Why the pilot was thrown clear
and the two women weren't.

I'm sorry, I... I just
don't follow.

I noticed the pilot's seatbelt.

Yeah?

Not fastened.

I hadn't noticed.

My God, you're right.

It must have been open
before the crash.

Oh, you got one of those, too?

Well, I'm just gonna
make a note and ask Brown...

why his belt wasn't fastened.

All right. Gee, that reminds me,
I gotta make the same note.

In this case, it probably
saved his life.

Generally, the pi...

the passengers sitting
after the cockpit...

have a better chance of survival
in a crash of this type.

You got a minute, sir?

Yeah, sure.

Right this way.

What's this?

That's a pilot's navigation kit.
They keep their charts in it.

Uh, radio frequency, pamphlets,
lot of different things.

Gee, that's funny.

What?

No ashes.

I beg your pardon?

No ashes.

Seems empty.

Well, he could have
taken the charts out...

and laid them on the unoccupied
co-pilot's seat.

But those ashes would be
in among all those other ashes.

Ah, that would explain that.

You know something, Lieutenant,

I could use a man like you
on my team.

It's really nothing
but detective work.

Oh, no, thank you very much.
You fellas here, you have to fly.

Sure, we're all pilots.

Oh, no, not for me.
Thank you very much.

I wouldn't qualify for that.

Why? We'll teach you.

I appreciate it, sir, but, uh,
my ears pop in an elevator.

As a matter of fact,
I don't even like being this tall.

How do you do, sir?
My name is Mr. Grindell.

How do you do?

Are you a relative of Mrs. Brown?

No, I'm just here
to see a relative...

I see, you are a friend
of the family?

Oh, I'm sorry,
you are a bit late.

- You missed a lovely service.
- Excuse me, sir.

Uh, Mr. Brown sang
several popular hymns.

Rock of Ages...

I'm not a friend of the family.

Actually, I'm a policeman.
Lt. Columbo, Homicide.

I beg your pardon.

I'm here to see Mr. Luke Baskin.

Yes. He's paying
his last respects...

before the bodies are...
are shipped out to Nashville.

Uh, he's taking it
a bit hard, you know.

But, uh,
he will be out shortly.

Oh. Well, maybe
I'll just wait out here.

Fine. Fine.

Lieutenant, this is
one of my cards.

We handled all the arrangements
here. Uh...

- Excuse me.
- Thank you.

Oh.

Um, I'm a great admirer of
the police department, you know.

Uh, I didn't know,
but I'm always glad to hear that.

Why shouldn't you hear of it?

After all, you men are so ready
to give your life,

uh, to save ours.

Well, uh, let's hope
it doesn't come up too often.

Yes, yes, yes,
but it does, doesn't it?

Especially in these
violent times. Uh, it's uh...

Just this morning a-at breakfast
with my dear wife Martha,

I glanced in the papers.
And I...

I noted that the rate
of the police mortality is just...

It's shocking.
I mean it is just...

Well, you must be aware of that.

Well, we don't like to
think about it too often.

But one should think
of it, uh, shouldn't one?

Well, you know, I guess
it's the kind of thing...

that you don't do anything about
until you actually have to.

But if you need a funeral,

uh, then you are not in condition
to do anything about it, you see.

All right, I see what you mean.

Have you made plans for your own
departure from this mortal sphere?

- No.
- Huh?

No, I haven't.

Yeah. I mean,
it's not like, uh...

It's not the kind of thing
where you make a reservation...

or buy a ticket.

Yes, but yet,

a little foresight,
for your dear ones I speak,

uh... uh, would prevent,
uh, trouble... and, uh,

expense... expense.

Excuse me just a moment.

Lieutenant,
this is our brochure.

Now, from here, uh,
you could choose, uh,

anything within your own means,
uh... uh, from among a...

a large variety of plans
that we have here.

Now, this, for instance...

Well, I... I appreciate it
very much...

but my wife does all the shopping
in the family.

She'd be very upset
if I bought anything,

you know, without talking
to her about it first.

Of course. Of course.

It's very nice, husband and wife
to decide in this.

Can we, uh, make an appointment?
That'd be nice.

I couldn't talk to her
about this, Mr. Grindell.

She'd think I was working
on a dangerous case.

She cries easily.

She cries when she loses
at bowling, you know.

You're a hard sell,
Lieutenant, huh?

Well, I'm sorry. Actually,
you know, I was just here...

Oh, hi, Lieutenant.

Oh, hello, Mr. Baskin.

Did you find out anything?

Uh, thank you very much, sir.

Oh, I beg your pardon.

Gentlemen, excuse me.

Did you ever see
Mr. Brown's navigation kit?

Sure, all the time.

Were you familiar
with its contents?

Yeah, just a bunch
of maps and charts.

You've seen these maps and charts?

Yeah.

Did you see them
the day of the crash?

Uh, well, no, I didn't, uh,
open the kit that day.

You mean, you had
the kit in your hand that day?

Yeah. I carried it from
the plane to the car.

Was it heavy?

No, no more than usual.

Hmm.

Did you carry it back from the car
to the plane when they left?

No, Tommy did.

Why? You on to something,
Lieutenant?

No, I don't think so,
sir. No.

Look, I'm not very smart,

and I don't know how he did it,
I just know that somehow he did.

'Cause he hated my sister.

He never loved her.
He just used her.

Yes, sir. You've told me that.

That doesn't explain
why he would kill her.

She had something on him.

What?

I don't know.
She wouldn't tell me.

Hmm.

I believe
you're very sincere, sir.

But there's just
no proof of anything.

Look, you don't know
Tommy Brown like I do.

You've got to question him.

I'm going to do that.

But you must understand,
it's just going to be a formality.

Then do it. Do it now.
Do it today.

Yes, sir. I don't think that
today would be the right time.

It's too close...

I want you to see
what Tommy Brown's like.

I want you to talk to him.
Would you do that for me, please,

as a personal favor?
Today? Please?

Uh,

all right.

I'm coming with you.

See what I mean, Lieutenant?
He couldn't wait.

Rented this place while he was
still in the hospital.

$2,000 a month.

What?

You know, there's no law
against that, Mr. Baskin.

Listen to all that
going around out yonder.

My sister ain't even
in her grave yet.

But there's no law against that,
either, Mr. Baskin.

Maybe it's not a good idea for you
to see brother-in-law right now.

Why not? I'm still
working for him.

You know, I'll have to tell him...

you're the one
who made the complaint.

Good. I wanna see the look
on his face when...

Now, just a minute.
Now, listen to me.

When I talk to him,
I'm gonna have to talk to him alone.

That's the only right way
to do it.

And if you're
gonna cause trouble...

I won't. I promise you,
I won't do that.

Okay.

In the park I saw a daddy

With a laughin' little girl
that he was swingin'

And I stopped beside
a Sunday school

And listened to the songs
that they were singin'

That's Mr. Brown?

That's him.

And it echoed through the canyon

Like a disappearin' dream
of yesterday

On a Sunday mornin' sidewalk

I'm wishing, Lord,
that I was stoned

'Cause there's somethin'
about a Sunday

This looks good.

Help yourself.

Think it's all right?

Oh, sure.

I missed lunch.

Make yourself at home.

What is that?

Chili.

Yeah, looks good.

Have some.

Think it's all right?

Hmm.

And Sunday mornin' comin' down

Say, that's delicious. I never
tasted chili like that before.

That's a special recipe.
Made out of squirrel meat.

That good, ain't it?

Hmm.

Yeah, that explains it.

Hey, Luke. I thought you were
ridin' back with us.

Where have you been?

I've been to get the cops
to find out how you killed Edna.

You gone crazy?

You did it. You know you did it.
You killed both of them.

You're fired! Get out of here!

You crazy?
Get him out of here!

What's the matter with you?

Give me that.

You crazy?

Get him out.

Boy.

Mr. Brown, I'm terribly sorry
about this.

Who are you?

I'm Lt. Columbo,
I'm from the L.A.P.D., Homicide.

Homicide?

What's he been
telling you about me?

Well, if we could just
talk privately.

There's nothing
to get excited about.

Just wanna ask
some routine questions.

There ain't no need
for everything to stop.

I'll be right back.

Let me see that guitar.
If he's busted that guitar,

I'll bust his neck.

Come on in here.

Nothing to get
excited about, folks.

Mr. Brown will be right out.

What did he mean, murder?

And why am I talking to somebody
from Homicide?

I feel terrible about this, sir.
I mean, an awful thing that was.

And, uh, there was just
no way for me to prevent...

your brother-in-law
from coming here.

Maybe I could have anticipated...

Okay! Just tell me what's it
all about. What's he saying?

It's nothing to get excited about,
sir, believe me.

You just have to
understand that, uh,

when a member of the family
makes a complaint,

well, we just have to go through
certain formalities,

ask questions, and, uh,
make out a report...

And I guess this, all this,
looks kind of bad, huh? This...

this big house.
This party going on and everything?

No, sir. No, sir.
It's kind of refreshing.

You see, in my line of work,
homicide,

somebody is always, well, dead.

That's the only way to put it.

I mean, they don't even
call us in...

unless that's what it is,
somebody dead.

So, naturally,
I see a lot of grief.

Now look, Lieutenant,

I'm not gonna try to tell you
that Edna and I didn't quarrel.

You can't... You can't
go through a day with Edna...

without quarreling.

You didn't know Edna.

The Crusade.
I was all for the Crusade.

It's just that I thought
a little something...

ought to go to me
for what I do, you know.

I give it full,
I give it all my time.

The dirty hotel rooms...

Mr. Brown.

The stale coffee...

Mr. Brown.

I'm not here to pry
into your personal life.

My personal life is an open book.
Everybody knows I've done time.

Yes, sir.

But what you've done
since you've gotten out...

has been an inspiration
to a lot of people.

Then what are you
bugging me for?

Well, like I said,
just ask a few routine questions.

Well, I can come back another time
when you're more settled.

Go ahead. Ask your questions.

Are you sure it's all right?

Get it over with.

You don't mind?

Go right ahead.

I'll try and make it very fast.

I was up there at the crash site
and I was talking to, uh,

that fellow Mr. Pangborn,
up there.

You want some coffee?

No, thank you very much.

We were both wondering...

why your seatbelt wasn't fastened
at the time of the crash.

Oh, that?

Well,

you see, when the power went off,
the lights went out.

And I reached across
to the glove compartment...

to try to get a flashlight.

And to do that, I had to unbuckle
my seatbelt.

That's when I lost control.

Well, that explains it.

I'll tell Mr. Pangborn that...

so that he won't bother you
about it, too.

Thanks.

What else can I tell you now?

You have a pencil?

- No.
- That's all right, I'll remember.

Oh, here we are.

The navigation kit.

What about it?

There were no ashes in it, you see.

So, we were, uh, we were wondering
what happened to the charts and, uh,

and the maps that were in it.

Well, when the power went off,

the defroster quit working,
you see.

So, I slid open the window
to try to see where I was goin'...

and the suction s-s-sucked all
the maps and papers...

and everything
right out of the window.

Big suction.

I'll tell that
to Mr. Pangborn, too.

We were both wondering.

Thanks.
I... I appreciate that.

That does it.

You sure made me move,
Mr. Brown.

I never asked questions
this fast before in my life.

I always think
it's kind of impolite...

to keep firing questions
at people.

If that's your job,
that's what you ought to do.

Mmm-hmm.

Sorry about
what happened out there.

And I sure hope your guitar is
all right. It's a beauty.

Yeah.

Not another guitar in the world
with a tone like that.

It's a great guitar. Handmade.

When I take an airliner,

I get an extra seat
and sit it right beside me.

No kidding.

Yeah.

Lucky thing it wasn't on that plane
with you last night.

Yeah, I know,
that was a break, all right.

I'd been worried about that.

Worried about crashing with it?

No, about, uh,

about it coming unglued,
or cracking it...

at high altitudes
in an unpressurized plane.

Look at this guitar.
You see the...

It's put together
with a very special glue.

Different pieces of wood.

It looks like one piece,
but feel that belly.

Feel how smooth it is
on that back there.

Well, the changes
in pressure and altitude...

can affect a good guitar
like that. Ruin the tone.

So...

I told Luke to put it on the bus.

You know, I'm very happy
you told me that.

Why's that?

Well, you know, that's what
started your brother-in-law...

thinking that you had something
to do with murdering his sister.

The fact that you parted
with your guitar.

He said that was the first time
you ever did that.

Then I'm glad I told you, too.

That winds it up.

We'll probably just go along
with Mr. Pangborn's report.

Mr. Pangborn's report
will make me look bad enough.

That's a lousy
piece of flying I did.

Well, let's hope
I stumble onto something...

so it doesn't look
so much like pilot error.

And if I do, I'll let you know.

You're not finished?

Oh, just a couple of things for my
own report down at headquarters.

Nothing to worry
you about, Mr. Brown.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

I appreciate
your taking the time.

Glad to. Let me know
when I can help you.

Right this way, sir.

Just step right on that seat,
Lieutenant.

Sir.

Just step right
on the seat there, sir.

Just watch your step, sir.

You all right, Lieutenant?

Thank you, sir.

Excuse me, uh...

Uh,

excuse me.

Yes, sir.

Uh, I'm looking for someone
who might have been around...

the night Tommy Brown took off.

Who are you?

That's a good question.

Uh, police.

Yes, sir. That'd be Jeff.
He was on duty that night.

Thank you very much.

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Uh, L.A.P.D.

Yes, sir.

I'm investigating the Tommy Brown
airplane crash.

Oh, yeah.

I sure was sorry
to hear about that.

You're a fan of his?

Yes, sir. You?

Uh, well, my wife more than me,
but I'm getting there.

I was wondering,

could you give me any information
about that flight?

Oh, well, I, uh, I saw them off,

but I don't know anything
about that crash.

Right. Of course.

You know, we've got to check out
all these small little details.

They don't mean nothing.
So, uh, now what did you...

You say you saw them off.
What did you do?

Well, you know, I helped with
the luggage, uh,

pulled out the chocks,
that sort of thing.

Luggage.

What luggage?

Well, um,

the ladies had
a couple overnight bags.

And uh, Mr. Brown didn't have
nothing but his navigation kit.

Some gum?

No. Thank you very much.

You handled the luggage?

Uh, yes, sir.

Put it in the luggage compartment
back of the cabin.

Did you, uh...

You notice anything unusual
about the luggage?

Unusual?

Was it extra heavy or light,
anything like that?

Oh. Um, no.

Just luggage.

And the navigation kit,
was it heavy or light?

Oh, I don't know about that.

Mr. Brown put that aboard
himself.

In the cabin?

Yes, sir.
Um, on the co-pilot's seat.

Wouldn't do much good
in the luggage compartment...

unless you was a bird.

I guess so.

So the only thing
that was in the cabin...

was the passengers
and the navigation kit?

Yeah. That's it.

Oh, well, the thermos bottle.
That's probably nothing.

W-W-What do you mean,
thermos bottle?

Most pilots carry a thermos
of coffee aboard.

Was the thermos bottle
in the navigation kit?

Uh, no, sir. Most likely
wouldn't be enough room for it,

with all the charts and stuff.

No, Mr. Brown just, uh,
put it on the co-pilot's seat...

next to the kit.

You've been a big help.

I have?

That's nice.

Tina, I'd like you
to take the arrangements...

down to the arranger.

Be sure we get them back
in time, all right?

Then I want you to make me out
a big, long list...

of things that I can do for you
for being so nice to Tommy Brown.

You afraid of me?

Uh, no.

Every time I get close,
you start backing up.

I... I guess I'm just
afraid of myself.

Is that all?

It's just so soon about your wife.

I understand.

But do you understand that Edna
and I didn't love each other, ever?

Don't say that.

Come on in, it ain't locked.

Lt. Columbo.
Come right in, rest yourself.

I'm not
interrupting anything?

No. Come in.

Hey, Tina, you better
take care of those errands, okay?

And don't forget
the last thing on the list.

What can I get you, Lieutenant?
How about some brandy or bourbon?

No, you look more like
a beer man.

Thank you, sir, but I'm on duty.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot.

Hey, you hop around
pretty good on that.

Well, it takes more than
a busted leg to keep me down.

That lovely girl.

Who? Tina?
She really is. She's beautiful.

And she's been a great help
to me through this time.

She admires you a lot.
I could see that.

Now, come on, Lieutenant,

don't tell me
they got you back out here...

chasing after Luke's daydream.

I'm afraid so, sir.

If it was up to me,
I'd forget about it.

I'd go on to something else.

You know what the problem is?

You're a celebrity.

Because of you, my boss, he won't
let me close up this case...

until I've covered everything.

Every loose end
has got to be tied up.

It'll make you crazy.
So that's the problem.

That's a crying shame,
it really is.

A man with your talent...

Real killers loose out there.
And they got you chasing smoke.

What are you going to do?
That's the job, right?

You take the good with the bad.

Uh, that reminds me. Uh,

you could help me
clear up some things.

Sure. I'd be glad to. But...

let me get you something to eat.
You look hungry to me.

Oh, no, please. Thank you very much.
I just had lunch.

How about some coffee?

I had it with my lunch.

You're shaming me now,
Lieutenant.

You just won't let me do
anything for you.

Well, actually, sir, there is
something you can do for me.

You can answer
a few of these questions.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

First of all, uh,

the thermos.

The one you took on the plane.

What about it?

Would you mind telling me,
sir, what you had in it?

Just some coffee.

Coffee.

Why? What does that matter?

Well, they couldn't find it.
The thermos.

At the crash site, couldn't find it.
I checked with Mr. Pangborn.

So?

Well, you see, everything else
in the plane was accounted for.

Well, does it really matter
what happened to a thermos bottle?

Oh, I'm sure it doesn't
make a difference at all,

but, you see, uh,
like I was saying earlier,

see that's the kind
of loose end that, uh,

I got to tie up,
those tiny little things.

Otherwise, it won't let me
close the book on this case.

Yeah. I understand.

T-T-That's my problem.

I see what you mean.

Well, we'll just have to come up
with the right answer for them.

You know, something
to make them happy.

Yes.

I... I, uh, I just don't know
what to write.

Uh, I'll help you all I can.

Well, if you could come up
with something, sir,

I'd certainly appreciate it.

Hey, why don't you just tell them
that the thermos burned up...

in the plane crash,
like it probably did.

Well, you know,
I thought about that.

But, uh, I checked with the lab.

And, uh, you see, a thermos
wouldn't be consumed by fire.

- It's metal inside and glass.
- Yeah.

That's a tough one, all right.

Yes. I just can't come up
with an answer.

Well, you think about this.

I was thrown clear in the crash.

I got a busted leg out of the deal.
But I was thrown clear.

And something
as light as a thermos...

could be thrown hundreds of feet.

Maybe it was thrown clear.

Thrown clear?

Yeah.

Not bad.

Not bad.

Thrown clear.

I knew sooner or later,

I was going to get to
help you some way.

Not bad.

Yeah. I think they'll buy that.

Okay.

Listen. Thanks a lot.

You're welcome. Glad to help.

Yeah. You've been a big help.
Appreciate the time.

Okay.

All right.

Oh.

I don't know
what's the matter with me.

You know, the last time I was here,
I forgot to ask the question, too.

What's the matter with me? Um,

where did you first
learn how to fly?

Lieutenant, I thought you knew
my whole life history by now.

Oh, no. No, uh.

You know, people think we have
all kinds of records on microfilms.

All we got to do is
push a button and...

Well, don't you?

Yes, we do, but not everything.

Well, I learned to fly
over 20 years ago...

in the Air Force, a little.

I learned to fly a little.

A little.

Well, I got to admit.
I washed out of cadets.

Washed right flat out.

Of course, I got a civilian private
license after the Korean War.

Were you in that one?

Yeah. Were you?

Yeah. I was in that one.
But not in the Air Force.

No kidding. Let me guess
what you were in.

M.P.

K.P. mostly.

Where'd they put you after you
washed out as a cadet?

Oh, man, you know the service.
Whatever bad was going around,

that's what I got.

Picking up butts, latrine duty,

running errands for the C.O.,
whatever.

Oh, man, that service life
was something.

Anything else?

No, sir. That should
about do it. Thank you.

Go ahead. You can take that.
I'm finished. Thank you, sir.

Yeah, hello.

All right. Put him on.

Hello, Sid, this is Tommy.

No. You heard right, Sid.

We're stopping the project.

We're stopping the building
on the tabernacle.

I don't know. Can't say.

Just pay everybody off
up to date.

Tell them we'll
get back to them, okay?

Right. Bye.

Excuse me, sir.

Lieutenant, if that police career
of yours ever fizzles out,

you could always make it
as a cat burglar.

Oh, sorry.
You know what happened.

I saw this note
that I made here...

that I meant to ask you about.

Ask away, little buddy.

You know, the reason
I think I forgot was...

because it was
filed under "pilot."

You know, for pilot error.

Mmm-hmm. What about it?

Uh,

did you call in for the weather
before you made that flight?

I sure did. Every pilot does.

Well, according to
the Bakersfield Weather Bureau,

they anticipated a low ceiling
in Los Angeles.

If you'd left an hour earlier,
you would have missed it.

Well, you see, I left later
because of...

the audiences at Bakersfield.

They just wouldn't let me off-stage.
They love that music in Bakersfield.

Oh, they sure do.
I know that for a fact.

But your brother-in-law,

he told me that you took a nap.

Yeah, I always take a nap
before I fly late at night,

especially after a performance.
I was wiped out.

Lieutenant, I know those desk
jockeys downtown are about to...

drive you crazy
giving you a bad time.

I know how bad you hate
to keep asking...

all those stupid questions that
they send you out here to ask.

I want you to tell them
one thing for me.

All those loose ends
that they think...

they are tying up are going to
go nowhere, you see,

because Tommy Brown was on that
plane himself when it crashed...

and if I'd been up to no good,

I wouldn't risk
my own neck in the process.

I'm going to make that point
very clear to them, sir.

Hey, Columbo,
I want you tell those people...

down at your office
one thing for me,

that I got nothing to hide.

And I guess you overheard me
on the phone.

Overheard you on the phone?
Oh, no, sir. No.

But I knew you were
stopping the project.

I spoke to the architects
this morning.

However, it's very helpful
to know your reasoning.

Thank you.

One of ours, sir?

Colonel.

Oh, sorry.

747. I'd like to land
one of these babies.

This must be quite
a letdown for you.

What is?

R.O.T.C.

There's a job to be done, Lieutenant,
and I'm the man to do it.

Brown.

Brown.

Brown, Thomas.

Oh, sure.

Never forget the lads
who served under me.

If not by name, by face.

He's out of Vietnam,
but I remember the face.

He served in
your outfit in Korea.

Oh.

What's happened to him?

He's Tommy Brown now.

Tommy Brown.

He's a big star.

Really?
Made it in the movies, huh?

No, sir.
Country and Western music.

Entertainment. He's very big.

Oh.

Not that, uh, twist stuff?
That degenerate...

No, sir. Folk music.
Tommy Brown, he's a singer.

Good.
Just as long as he isn't a pilot.

Washed out as a cadet
as I recall.

Transferred to my outfit.

Did you read about that private
plane crash the other night?

Oh, yeah.

He was the pilot.

The guy that got thrown clear?

Yes, sir.

Never made the connection.

What did he do
in your outfit, sir?

Parachute rigging.

You mean he ran a machine
which rigged the parachute.

Not on your life, Lieutenant.

It was done by hand.

A man folds his own.

Some things in life
don't change, Lieutenant.

Yes, sir.
May I use your telephone?

Keep it short. Will you? Never know
when there might be an alert.

Absolutely.

I want the Medical
Examiner's office.

Lt. Columbo.

Columbo.

I'll wait.

It's really for official business.

Do they still make them
out of silk?

Speaking to me?

"Hit the silk." Is that just an...

It's just an expression.

The old barnstorming days.

Nylon. 60 square yards of it,

and a parachute personnel
standard M-4.

How fast does that
bring a man down?

20 feet per second. Average.

Isn't that pretty fast?

There's a proper way
to land, Lieutenant.

Hello? The Medical Examiner.

Lt. Columbo.

How big is this flag?

It's not a flag,
Lieutenant, it's a banner.

Eagles and stars
rampant on a field of blue.

The official emblem of
the United States Air Force.

How big is it?

27 square feet, why?

How much is that in square yards?

You ought to know that,
Lieutenant. Three square yards.

A parachute is 60 square yards?

Right.

20 times bigger than this?

That's elementary, Lieutenant.

Hello.

Yes, I am.

Hello?

Doctor. Yes.

This is Lt. Columbo.
I want to order an autopsy...

on two deceased, already interred.

Mrs. Edna Brown
and Miss Maryann Cobb.

Just like a blind man
I wandered astray

Straight is the gate
and narrow the way

Then like the blind man
that got back his sight

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

Hey, Columbo.

Come on in. Join the session.

I didn't ruin on the record
or anything?

There was no light on
so I just came in.

Playback. It's a concert
we did last night.

How do you like it?

Oh, good.

We were there.

At the concert?

My wife and I. We were there.

Hey! Hey! You're really
coming on, Lieutenant.

Bring it down a couple of points
there, will you, Bill?

What's the matter?

You opened your concert
with that song.

Yeah, I closed my show
with that song, too.

Number one on the charts.

Hey, there you go, Lieutenant.

You don't like it?

No, oh, it's very good,
very popular.

You know, I hear it coming
out of cars, out of storefronts.

One kid had it coming out of
his pocket. Right here.

But, uh, the sound is
different here.

And I noticed last night
at the concert...

Yeah, live audience.

That's why the different sound,
it's recorded live.

The one you've been
hearing around town...

is a studio recording we did
a while back.

Oh. Oh, that explains it.

You know, little buddy, there's
a question I'd like to ask you.

You ordered
my wife's body dug up, right?

That's correct, sir. Both bodies.

And autopsies performed?

Yes, sir.

Expecting to find what?

Mr. Brown,
I don't think this is the...

That's quite all right, Lieutenant,
if you don't mind answering that question.

Just what were you
expecting to find?

I don't know. It's not an unusual
police procedure.

After an air crash?

Very often, to find out if
the pilot had a heart attack...

or to find out if there was
any evidence of drug...

Lieutenant, I was the pilot
and I'm very much alive.

Yes, sir.

And that air safety guy,
what's his name?

Mr. Pangborn?

He ordered all kinds
of blood tests run.

Yes, sir, they were all negative
and the EKG,

your heart, that was normal.

Which should make
you feel very good.

And the autopsy
showed nothing unusual?

No, sir. Nothing unusual.

I think I could have
told you that, Lieutenant.

Of course,
when I say nothing unusual,

what I mean is that, uh,

under, you know,
normal circumstances,

there would be nothing unusual.

Just what are you
trying to say, Lieutenant?

Barbiturates, sir.

We found evidence of
barbiturates in both women.

And, uh, according to their
religious beliefs,

they were prohibited from taking
any drugs or stimulants.

That's true.
But they used to get airsick.

So they took
an airsickness pill.

Yes, sir. But these barbiturates
were sleeping pills.

Sleeping pills work...

just like airsickness pills
sometimes, Lieutenant.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, I didn't know that.

Well, that must explain that.

Tommy, gonna feed you the eight-track now.

Hey, Bill, kill it.

Anything else, Lieutenant?

No, sir.

Oh, uh...

Could I have a tape
of that concert?

Be in the stores,
a couple of months.

No, what I meant was
could I have an advance copy?

Why not?

Thank you very much.

May I...

Are your hands clean?
Let me see.

Oh, all right.

This is nylon, isn't it?

Yes. I prefer cotton.

But people today,
even our own people,

just don't want anything
that requires care.

Listen, I was wondering
if you could help me.

My name is Lt. Columbo.

I'm from the Los Angeles
Police Department.

Columbo, that's an Italian name.

Yes, ma'am, it is.

Uh, could you tell me
how much fabric...

My husband was half Italian.
And a wonderfully warm man, too.

Just the way
Italians are supposed to be.

Can you tell me, ma'am,
how many yards...

And he was
a naturally good singer, too.

Of course, he was thin...

and he had this
little blonde moustache.

But he was
half Scandinavian, so...

Lt. Columbo,
are you with the Army?

Los Angeles
Police Department.

Oh. Have we done something?

No, ma'am.
Not that I know of, no.

I'm just here... I'm just part
of an investigation.

Well, of what?
Are you with the vice squad?

I don't remember
having a good time.

No, ma'am. No, I'm not
with the vice squad.

I just wanted to ask you about
some of these lovely robes...

that you and the ladies...

You want to know how many yards
it takes to make a robe.

Listen, that depends.
Now, you take Helen there,

it takes her four yards
of material to make a robe.

It only takes me two.

What does she do? She makes
the bigger sizes, does she?

Makes mistakes,
that what she does.

The poor little thing.
Once she did two left sides...

and wondered why
it wouldn't button up.

Oh, she's a darling woman,
but she is not a good seamstress.

Let me ask you something, dear.

You think I could
take a look at this?

Well, if you're careful.

Just for a minute.

- Certainly. But be careful.
- Thank you very much.

- May I, please?
- Sure. Just go over that.

Oh, what are you doing?

How many square yards
in a roll like this?

Uh, be careful now,

don't let it go all the way
to the end or you'll soil it...

Well, you know, I'm curious
about the yardage.

You certainly are.

Could you show me what...

60 square yards
of this would look like?

In the first place, this is not
a roll, this is a bolt.

60 square yards,
wait a minute there.

That's 10 yards by 6 yards.

That's 30 feet by 18 feet.

This can't be 60 square yards.

It isn't even 20.

Do you have more?

Oh, yes, yes,
we have a reserve.

We are like the industrious ants.
You know that story.

I kept a reserve stock
against rising prices.

Just a minute,
I'll show it to you.

Dear, oh, dear,
I meant to reorder...

Do you find
yourself forgetting?

Sometimes, ma'am, yes, I do.

Could you tell me,

do you remember how much
you meant to reorder?

Oh, it's always the same.

How much is that?

Three bolts of nylon,
white, 1A-447.

And how many yards
in a bolt, 20?

No, 15.

15, so there's only
45 yards missing.

Only 45 square yards missing,
out of sheer forgetfulness.

And the prices have surely risen
four or five cents a yard.

Why do I do that?
Forget, I mean.

Is it what they say it is?

Is it old age?

No. No. It's not that.

Who knows what it is,
but it's not that. Listen.

I want to thank you
very, very much.

You're welcome.

I appreciate talking to you.

It was nice to meet you.

Oh, my.

Now, Lieutenant, let's see
that navigation kit.

It fits.

Of course, there's no harness
attached to this.

You wouldn't get it in
with a conventional chute harness.

What about an unconventional one?

What do you mean?

Something homemade.

Something homemade?
Yeah, it's possible.

What do you think?

You know as well as I do
that the diameter of...

a standard chute is
substantially larger than that.

Anybody jumping in that would...

have a much faster rate of
descent than normal.

Tight chutes in a parachute like
this, he goes down faster, right?

At least 20% faster.

Fatally faster?

Not necessarily. The guy would
probably break something,

an arm, a leg or pelvis,
or something.

Be awful risky.

So is murder.

I know what you're getting at,
but I don't see how you can ever prove...

the guy actually jumped
without finding the chute.

Neither do I.

You see?
And if it was premeditated,

he'd certainly have
destroyed the chute.

Yeah, but how you gonna
destroy a parachute?

I mean, you can't risk
burning it.

You'll see the flames
no matter where he landed.

Okay, so he hid it somewhere.

Buried it.
What are you gonna do?

Dig up that whole mountain?

Thank you very much. Come on.

Your people...

You never found that
thermos bottle, did you?

No.

Hmm.

So, it must have been thrown out
sometime during the flight.

Could be.

Mmm.

If the pilot jumped,
just before he crashed the plane,

he would land not too far
from the crash site. Right?

Right.

But there's no indication that
he even took a parachute aboard.

There is an indication,
Mr. Pangborn.

That empty navigation kit.

That wouldn't hold
a conventional chute.

How about an unconventional chute?

Well, all I can say is he'd
have to be one expert chute man.

He was. I checked
his military record.

After he washed out
as a flying cadet...

he became a parachute rigger.

Well, it will still be
an awful lot of mountain...

to search for anything
hidden or buried.

A lot of mountain.

Who could find it?

The guy that hid it.

Well, it was
the original version.

That's what I hear
coming out of the radio.

And then there's the version that
you recorded yesterday in the studio.

I saw the light

- This is the original version.
- I saw the light

No more darkness, no more night

Now this is... is the new version.

I hope I got it.

I know I had it.

I got it.

Bear with me, sir.

- I saw the light
- This is the new version.

Mmm-hmm.

No more darkness

I noticed that
the arrangement was changed.

You got a good ear for music.

Well, you know I'm Italian.

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, I spoke to your arranger.

Nick Solecanto?

Yeah, that's him.

You know, he's Italian, too.

Yeah, I know.

So I asked him...

was there a special reason
for you changing the arrangements?

He said yes.

Maryann was a soprano,
Tina is a contralto.

Well, now, I could have
told you that myself.

I know, sir. But I was afraid
that my next question...

might be a little
embarrassing to you.

I asked Mr. Solecanto:

"How long does it take to change
an arrangement like that?"

He said about a week.

And you wondered how I knew...

I was going to need
a new arrangement...

a week before Maryann
was killed, right?

Yes, sir. That was
the embarrassing question.

Not embarrassing at all, Columbo.
I knew it because I knew...

I was going to replace Maryann
with Tina.

I liked her voice better
in the solos.

That's exactly what I thought.

As a matter of fact,
I like her better myself.

But I wanted to hear
your explanation. That's it.

Finished. That definitely
closes the book on you, sir.

I'm glad to hear it.

My superiors
will have to agree...

that I've been pretty thorough
on this case.

Mmm-hmm. You really have.

Um,

there's just one other thing, sir.

What's that?

I'll explain it to you
in a minute.

May I use your telephone?

Go right ahead.

Milt? Columbo here.

Did you get in touch
with that Boy Scout troop?

Yeah, tomorrow's okay,
but they gotta start early.

How about
the Forest Ranger patrol...

on the sheriff's Mountain Squad?

They'll start tomorrow,
first thing?

Good.

Fine.

See you later.

Did that have
something to do with me?

Yes, sir. It did.

But I hesitate to mention it.

Go right ahead.

Sir,

did you drink any of that coffee
that was in that thermos bottle...

that you took on the flight?

No.

I didn't think so.

And if my hunch is correct,
you're a very lucky man.

What hunch?

The barbiturates that turned up...

in the autopsy on those two women
were a lot more...

than anyone would ever take
for airsickness.

They were almost a lethal dose...

certainly enough
to knock somebody out.

No kidding?

If they were in that coffee,

they could have been
put there by somebody...

who wanted to put you to sleep
at the controls.

Maybe somebody wanted to kill you.

Now, why would anybody
want to kill me?

Mr. Brown, I don't know.
But you are a celebrity.

And there are a lot of crackpots
in the world.

And there is just no accounting
for people's reactions.

And sometimes I even wonder
about my wife.

Not that she is a crackpot,
but, uh,

when she is listening to your records,
the way she carries on.

But not like
she wants to kill me.

No, sir, just the opposite.

It's no laughing matter.

This can be serious.

Look, the only fingerprints
that should be on that thermos...

are yours, your wife's,
and the girl's, right?

Right.

But if some guy thought
he was going to...

put you to sleep at the controls
and kill you in a plane crash,

he might have gotten careless
with his fingerprints.

He might have left them
on that thermos bottle...

when he spiked the coffee.

Lieutenant, man, you got
some kind of imagination.

You know that?

Still, when I get a hunch
down here and I ignore it,

I always regret it.

I am gonna put
a police guard on you...

until I find that thermos bottle.

You might never find that thermos.

We're gonna find it.
You might be right.

It could've been thrown
a long distance away...

when that plane crashed.

But between those Boy Scouts,
those Forest Rangers,

and the Sheriff's Squad,

we are gonna comb every inch
of that mountainside.

We'll comb it and comb it,

and then comb it some more,
till we find it.

In the meantime,

you're getting a police guard.

Now, that's nice of you.
I really appreciate that.

But it won't be necessary,
Lieutenant.

I'm leaving on a concert tour.

You're leaving, sir?

I sure am.

When are you leaving?

This afternoon.

For how long?

For months. I open tomorrow night
in San Francisco.

You are going to be gone
for months?

Mmm-hmm. I sure am.
Why, what's the matter?

Nothing, sir. No, uh...

I just wasn't prepared
for that, uh...

Well, it's surely been nice
knowing you, Lieutenant.

I've enjoyed talking with you,
and I wish you the best of luck.

Same to you, sir.

What time is your plane?

4:05.

Have a good trip, sir.

Thank you.

Where to, Lieutenant?

Just pull around
the bend and park.

He says he's going out of town.
I don't believe him.

Yeah.

I planted a seed
that has to take.

He is gonna do something
in the mountains first.

Pull around the bend and park.

All set, Tommy.

Hey, thanks a lot, Chris.
See you in San Francisco.

Take it easy.

Looks like he's going,
all right.

Hey, Columbo!

Hey, what are you
doing here? Come here.

What are you doing out here?

I followed you, sir,
to be honest with you.

You see, I told my superiors that
someone might be out to get you.

If anything happens to you
here in LA,

it's going to be my neck.

I thought it was my neck
you were interested in.

Oh, of course, yours, too.

But the fact is
I'm not going to rest easy...

until I actually see you
on the plane.

I sure do appreciate that.
That's mighty nice of you.

You must have
some metal on you, sir.

If you'll just put it
in this tray here...

and come through again.

Okay.

And the beer I had for breakfast

It wasn't bad

For dessert

Then I fumbled in the closet

Thank you, sir.

You are welcome.

Hey, Columbo.

Keep law and order
while I'm gone.

I'll try, sir.

Stumbled down the stairs
to meet the day

Hey!

Tell your wife hello for me.

On a Sunday morning sidewalk

I'm wishing, Lord,
that I was stoned

Hey, mister.

Oh,

L.A.P.D.

Did he go, sir?

He went.

That's him, in that one.

Well, you can't
win them all, Lieutenant.

I guess not.

I gotta call in.

Unit 10.

Do you want me
to drive you back?

I sent the officer
who brought me up here...

back down for dinner.

I figured you and I would be
driving back together.

Nobody followed me up here.
I made sure of that.

That's right, sir.

I was waiting for you
up there on that rock.

I gave you an hour to fly to
San Francisco on that commuter.

I gave you half an hour for a layoff,
and another hour to fly back,

and an hour to drive up here.

You knew I was coming up here?

I knew. Then I didn't know,
and then I knew.

When I planted that seed about
searching for the thermos bottle,

I called the Rangers
and the Boy Scouts,

I knew it was gonna worry you
and you'd come out here...

and look for the parachute.

But when you went to the airport,
and you got on the plane,

and when I saw that plane fly away,
I thought you were gone.

Then I heard the keys.

Little tinkle of keys.

When you emptied your pockets
at the airport,

your keys were with your pen,
your lighter and something else.

But I remembered
the keys had a tag,

that tag.

Car rental tag.

Then I knew.

A man drives a rented car,

he takes his keys with him
on an airplane,

doesn't turn them in
at the airport,

I got to figure he's coming back.

Aren't you afraid being up here
alone with a killer?

No, sir.

No, sir. I had a feeling
that sooner or later...

Praise the Lord, I saw the light

Sooner or later you would have
confessed...

even if I hadn't caught you.

Yeah, you are right, Lieutenant.
I would have...

because it was getting to me,
and I'm glad it's over.

Listen...

any man that can sing
like that can't be all bad.