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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,117 --> 00:00:07,570 Gentlemen, may I present to you the Suicide Squad. 2 00:00:07,606 --> 00:00:09,509 Hang on there, genius. You want us, your enemies, 3 00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,336 to help you bring down Commissioner Kelly? 4 00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:12,642 You guys consider me your enemy? 5 00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:13,820 You're some of my best friends. 6 00:00:13,856 --> 00:00:15,717 We haven't talked to you in, like, three years, C.J. 7 00:00:15,753 --> 00:00:17,450 Wait, yeah. I'm thinking of different guys. 8 00:00:17,486 --> 00:00:19,488 Oh, Raymond, that you came to me to ask for help 9 00:00:19,524 --> 00:00:20,919 shows how much you've matured. 10 00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:22,428 You know what else shows how much you've matured? 11 00:00:22,464 --> 00:00:23,544 Your withered face. 12 00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:26,003 Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad, 13 00:00:26,047 --> 00:00:28,752 Peralta, because I already want to kill myself. 14 00:00:28,788 --> 00:00:30,746 Why don't you wait a week? You'll probably die of old age. 15 00:00:30,782 --> 00:00:31,981 The only way I'm going to die 16 00:00:32,017 --> 00:00:34,011 is if you touch me with one of your bony fingers 17 00:00:34,055 --> 00:00:37,232 and drag me across the River Styx, you reaper. 18 00:00:37,275 --> 00:00:38,842 Ah, wonderful. Very creative. 19 00:00:38,886 --> 00:00:40,806 Look, John Kelly has to be stopped. 20 00:00:40,842 --> 00:00:42,191 He's spying on civilians. 21 00:00:42,227 --> 00:00:43,924 It's unconstitutional and it's wrong. 22 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,588 Please. Do you think any one 23 00:00:45,632 --> 00:00:47,416 of these jackals cares about what's right or wrong? 24 00:00:47,459 --> 00:00:48,678 - [whistles] I'll help. - See, sir? 25 00:00:48,722 --> 00:00:50,158 There is good in every person. 26 00:00:50,201 --> 00:00:51,769 But I want it to be known it's for selfish reasons. 27 00:00:51,805 --> 00:00:53,082 Why would you want that to be known? 28 00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:54,429 'Cause I've never met C.J. before 29 00:00:54,465 --> 00:00:55,433 and I want him to think that I'm cool. 30 00:00:55,469 --> 00:00:56,456 It's working. 31 00:00:56,492 --> 00:00:57,818 I mean, I love how you're taking over the room. 32 00:00:57,861 --> 00:00:58,993 Like that? Yeah, it's awesome. 33 00:00:59,036 --> 00:01:00,385 You know, I actually wouldn't mind 34 00:01:00,429 --> 00:01:01,604 getting rid of John Kelly either. 35 00:01:01,648 --> 00:01:02,866 That guy makes up so many dumb rules. 36 00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:04,433 He told me I couldn't eat raw chicken. 37 00:01:04,476 --> 00:01:06,000 And you think a new commissioner will... 38 00:01:06,043 --> 00:01:07,784 Yeah, he's already on board, so yes, a new commissioner 39 00:01:07,828 --> 00:01:10,004 would let you eat raw chicken for whatever reason. 40 00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:11,483 - It's healthier. - It sure is, Ceej. 41 00:01:11,527 --> 00:01:13,007 And what do you hope to get out of this, Madeline? 42 00:01:13,050 --> 00:01:15,390 Let me guess... Revenge on Dorothy for killing your sister? 43 00:01:15,426 --> 00:01:16,812 I want the same as you, Raymond... 44 00:01:16,848 --> 00:01:18,984 I think what John Kelly is doing is terrible. 45 00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:20,580 Yes, well said, Wuntch. 46 00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:22,756 So, we're all on board. This is exciting! 47 00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:25,628 Let's bring it in, huh? "Suicide Squad" on three. 48 00:01:25,672 --> 00:01:27,523 Ready? One, two... 49 00:01:27,559 --> 00:01:28,695 I don't touch other dudes' hands. 50 00:01:28,731 --> 00:01:30,198 - Whose hand is sticky? - It might be me. 51 00:01:30,241 --> 00:01:32,069 - I ate a popsicle earlier. - It's probably Madeline. 52 00:01:32,113 --> 00:01:34,071 Cockroaches release a mucus-like secretion. 53 00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:36,508 You would know about roaches, you roach. 54 00:01:36,552 --> 00:01:38,362 And three! Suicide Squad! 55 00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:41,601 [upbeat music] 56 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:46,669 ♪ 57 00:01:53,262 --> 00:01:57,262 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 58 00:01:59,163 --> 00:02:00,402 Sorry. Sorry I'm late. 59 00:02:00,445 --> 00:02:02,796 Why is Santiago here? We agreed to keep this secret. 60 00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:04,145 Well, it's hard to keep secrets 61 00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:05,755 when you're married to an ace detective. 62 00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:07,104 He told me as soon as he got home. 63 00:02:07,148 --> 00:02:09,019 I did. I'm so excited about the Suicide Squad. 64 00:02:09,063 --> 00:02:10,576 Oh, I love seeing these glimpses 65 00:02:10,612 --> 00:02:12,068 of domestic Peraltiago. 66 00:02:12,104 --> 00:02:13,138 - Now kiss. - No. 67 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,765 - You don't do it enough. - We do it all the time, 68 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,411 - just not in front of you. - It's been a year! 69 00:02:16,447 --> 00:02:17,709 We don't have time for this. 70 00:02:17,745 --> 00:02:19,486 Now, Kelly's stingrays can steal cell phone data 71 00:02:19,522 --> 00:02:20,958 from anyone, including us, so I procured 72 00:02:20,994 --> 00:02:22,801 special equipment for us to communicate with. 73 00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:25,035 Extremely old beepers? 74 00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,081 Yeah, they're analog, so the stingrays can't detect them. 75 00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:29,605 I had one of these in high school, and it was so cool. 76 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,346 You're just sitting in math class, 77 00:02:31,389 --> 00:02:32,626 and you feel that buzz, 78 00:02:32,662 --> 00:02:34,577 and it's your dad saying he loves you. 79 00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,702 The rest of the day, you're just walking on air. 80 00:02:36,738 --> 00:02:38,214 [smooch] 81 00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,310 Did you guys just kiss? 82 00:02:39,354 --> 00:02:40,385 - BOTH: Hm? - Did I miss it? 83 00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:41,553 Yes. It was very unprofessional. 84 00:02:41,589 --> 00:02:43,025 - Oh, come on! - I don't like this. 85 00:02:43,061 --> 00:02:44,715 I wouldn't wish working with Madeline Wuntch 86 00:02:44,751 --> 00:02:46,666 on my worst enemy, and my worst enemy 87 00:02:46,702 --> 00:02:48,355 is Madeline Wuntch, whom I hate. 88 00:02:48,391 --> 00:02:49,843 Look, if you wanna stop Kelly, 89 00:02:49,886 --> 00:02:51,566 she's the key to my entire plan. 90 00:02:51,602 --> 00:02:53,038 So, either you get over it, 91 00:02:53,074 --> 00:02:54,826 or we walk away from this thing right now. 92 00:02:55,766 --> 00:02:57,181 Ugh, fine. 93 00:02:57,462 --> 00:02:59,290 I will learn to trust Madeline Wuntch. 94 00:02:59,326 --> 00:03:01,590 I will never trust Madeline Wuntch. 95 00:03:01,626 --> 00:03:03,885 She's a venomous snake waiting to strike, 96 00:03:03,921 --> 00:03:05,257 and you know what we do to snakes. 97 00:03:05,293 --> 00:03:06,860 Chop their heads off. Remove the skin. 98 00:03:06,903 --> 00:03:08,078 - Turn them into boots. - Don't be absurd. 99 00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,528 Who would want Trollskin boots? 100 00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:10,558 You just said she was a snake. 101 00:03:10,594 --> 00:03:11,952 The devil comes in many forms. 102 00:03:11,995 --> 00:03:14,694 No, what I meant was I want you to follow her 103 00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:16,283 and make sure she doesn't betray us. 104 00:03:16,319 --> 00:03:18,262 And, uh, don't tell Peralta. 105 00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:20,178 Count me in. I got nothing else going on. 106 00:03:20,214 --> 00:03:22,527 Aren't you supposed to be getting ready to transfer to Staten Island? 107 00:03:22,571 --> 00:03:24,791 - Eh, that's not real. - It was pretty real last week. 108 00:03:24,834 --> 00:03:27,166 That's before I decided to pretend it wasn't. 109 00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:30,100 - I'm in denial. - Most people who are in denial 110 00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,711 don't usually say they're in denial. 111 00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,277 That's because they're in denial 112 00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:34,621 about being in denial. 113 00:03:34,858 --> 00:03:36,121 But I'm not in denial. 114 00:03:36,641 --> 00:03:37,903 I'm in denial. 115 00:03:38,065 --> 00:03:40,067 Is Jeffords' brain okay for this mission? 116 00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:43,157 Yes, sir... for this and all future Nine-Nine missions, 117 00:03:43,193 --> 00:03:44,835 which I'll definitely be a part of. 118 00:03:44,871 --> 00:03:46,007 But let's go. 119 00:03:46,595 --> 00:03:47,988 So, this apartment will be our base 120 00:03:48,031 --> 00:03:49,163 for the duration of the mission. 121 00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:50,860 Thank you to The Vulture for procuring it. 122 00:03:50,904 --> 00:03:52,470 Hey, don't thank me. Thank my boy, Billy. 123 00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:54,559 He said the place was mine while he's still in prison. 124 00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:56,039 That's not what it sounds like. 125 00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:58,608 His only crime was planning a kickass music festival. 126 00:03:58,644 --> 00:04:00,471 Are you friends with the Fyre Festival guy? 127 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,140 Best friends. He got a bum rap. 128 00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:04,439 You can learn about it when my documentary comes out. 129 00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:06,745 It points all the blame where it clearly belongs... 130 00:04:07,485 --> 00:04:08,660 with the island people. 131 00:04:08,704 --> 00:04:10,532 Wow, so many levels of terrible there. 132 00:04:10,575 --> 00:04:12,012 All right, we need to catch Kelly 133 00:04:12,055 --> 00:04:13,753 in the act of illegally spying, so here's the plan. 134 00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,798 We commit a fake crime so serious 135 00:04:15,842 --> 00:04:17,234 that he's forced to deploy the stingray. 136 00:04:17,278 --> 00:04:19,280 - What kind of crime? - We're gonna kidnap a cop. 137 00:04:19,323 --> 00:04:21,586 But not just any cop... it needs to be someone 138 00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:22,892 so high-ranking that it sends shockwaves 139 00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:24,502 through the system, but not important enough 140 00:04:24,546 --> 00:04:27,101 that their absence negatively impacts the NYPD in any way. 141 00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:32,815 Who you guys thinking? 142 00:04:32,859 --> 00:04:34,305 We're clearly all looking at you. 143 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,723 Oh, God. Am I in charge of the meeting? 144 00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:36,847 Dismissed. Dismissed. 145 00:04:36,883 --> 00:04:38,603 No. You're getting kidnapped, C.J. 146 00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:40,301 Amy, Charles, and I will be the kidnappers. 147 00:04:40,344 --> 00:04:42,813 Captain Holt is the driver. Here's how it'll go down. 148 00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,157 - Approaching the target. - All right, let's do this. 149 00:04:44,193 --> 00:04:45,204 Masks on. 150 00:04:45,596 --> 00:04:47,874 Actually, scratch that. We're not gonna use ski masks. 151 00:04:47,917 --> 00:04:49,440 We'll use cool rubber masks. 152 00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:51,355 Ooh, we should be the ladies of "The First Wives Club." 153 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,347 I call Keaton. 154 00:04:52,383 --> 00:04:53,658 We're not gonna do "First Wives Club" masks. 155 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:54,799 Just because you can't be Keaton? 156 00:04:54,835 --> 00:04:56,967 - Grow up, Jake! - No, because they don't exist. 157 00:04:57,003 --> 00:04:58,505 And also, yeah, 158 00:04:58,541 --> 00:05:00,010 Keaton is clearly the coolest one 159 00:05:00,046 --> 00:05:02,048 and I don't think it's really fair that you just "called her." 160 00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,825 Forget it. We'll wear scary gorilla masks. 161 00:05:04,107 --> 00:05:05,630 - Approaching the target. - Okay, let's do this. 162 00:05:05,674 --> 00:05:06,868 Masks on. 163 00:05:06,904 --> 00:05:08,459 When C.J. goes to get his morning coffee, 164 00:05:08,503 --> 00:05:09,939 - we will arrive and grab him. - [tires screech] 165 00:05:09,983 --> 00:05:11,022 He will pretend to struggle 166 00:05:11,058 --> 00:05:12,491 just enough to attract attention. 167 00:05:12,527 --> 00:05:14,094 Help! Help! 168 00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:15,566 [tires screech] 169 00:05:15,602 --> 00:05:17,512 I'm gonna write this down so I remember my lines. 170 00:05:17,555 --> 00:05:19,122 I can see that you already have the word "milk" 171 00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:20,863 written on your hand. I know where this is going. 172 00:05:20,907 --> 00:05:22,473 Milk! Milk! 173 00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:23,953 - Don't do that. - Too risky. 174 00:05:23,997 --> 00:05:25,868 What if you leave DNA evidence at the scene? 175 00:05:25,912 --> 00:05:27,696 Well, luckily, it's a missing person's case, 176 00:05:27,739 --> 00:05:29,959 so the lead detective will be The Vulture. 177 00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:31,134 He will arrive and... 178 00:05:31,178 --> 00:05:32,570 No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, Peralta. 179 00:05:32,614 --> 00:05:34,616 You forgot to say that I ride in on my motorcycle. 180 00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:37,706 Okay, The Vulture who rode in on his motorcycle... 181 00:05:37,749 --> 00:05:38,778 Kobe. 182 00:05:39,084 --> 00:05:40,709 Will take charge and eliminate any evidence 183 00:05:40,752 --> 00:05:41,948 we left behind. 184 00:05:41,984 --> 00:05:43,725 - There's nothing here. - Make sure the other people 185 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,284 working with you are your worst detectives. 186 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,672 I got just the guys for you. I mean, they're real duds. 187 00:05:47,716 --> 00:05:49,725 I wouldn't even trust those two to get coffee for me. 188 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,894 Gerard, tell him where we're at. 189 00:05:51,938 --> 00:05:52,915 Brooklyn. 190 00:05:52,951 --> 00:05:54,551 You know, you guys take off, all right? I got this. 191 00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,720 - All right. - Hey, you. Come here. 192 00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:58,020 You wanna tell me what you saw? 193 00:05:58,056 --> 00:05:59,535 I'll tell you what I'd like to see. 194 00:05:59,571 --> 00:06:00,703 - Your big... - Stop. 195 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,165 I'm the one describing the plan. 196 00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:03,384 What, so there's not gonna be any sex at all? 197 00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:04,478 No. The point is, 198 00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:06,169 without any good leads, Kelly will give the order 199 00:06:06,213 --> 00:06:08,215 to use the stingray... an order that we will record 200 00:06:08,258 --> 00:06:09,956 thanks to our very own Madeline Wuntch. 201 00:06:09,999 --> 00:06:12,175 Not possible. Kelly won't tell me anything. 202 00:06:12,219 --> 00:06:14,612 - He won't even meet with me. - Perhaps you can sneak in 203 00:06:14,656 --> 00:06:16,092 disguised as an old leather chair. 204 00:06:16,136 --> 00:06:19,008 Will you calm down? She works at One Police Plaza. 205 00:06:19,052 --> 00:06:20,792 All you have to do is "run into him." 206 00:06:20,836 --> 00:06:21,911 Commissioner Kelly. 207 00:06:21,947 --> 00:06:23,404 Oh, Madeline. I didn't see you there. 208 00:06:23,447 --> 00:06:25,188 I thought you were an old leather chair. 209 00:06:25,232 --> 00:06:26,842 - He's not gonna say that. - He might. 210 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,278 You're worse than The Vulture. 211 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:30,237 Anyways, give him a handshake, a pat on the back... 212 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,152 I heard your app caught a serial killer. 213 00:06:32,195 --> 00:06:34,719 - [chuckles] - HotClues strikes again. 214 00:06:34,763 --> 00:06:36,514 - Yes, indeedy. - And plant the bug. 215 00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:37,900 And that's the plan. 216 00:06:37,936 --> 00:06:40,460 That is exactly how tomorrow's gonna go. 217 00:06:40,496 --> 00:06:41,470 Got it. 218 00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:43,421 So you do or you don't want me to yell "milk"? 219 00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:48,551 - Approaching the target. - Okay, let's do this. 220 00:06:48,595 --> 00:06:49,671 Masks on. 221 00:06:49,987 --> 00:06:51,336 I thought we were getting rubber masks. 222 00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:53,338 Yeah, I couldn't find any. It's not Halloween. 223 00:06:53,382 --> 00:06:54,644 These look like they're from "Fifty Shades of Grey." 224 00:06:54,688 --> 00:06:56,298 Yeah, I got them from a sex shop, Amy, 225 00:06:56,341 --> 00:06:58,126 and we're lucky to have them. There were only three left. 226 00:06:58,169 --> 00:07:00,617 At least you're not wearing a gimp mask. 227 00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:01,872 Look, there weren't a lot of options. 228 00:07:01,908 --> 00:07:03,561 It was a very awkward retail interaction. 229 00:07:03,605 --> 00:07:05,589 Can we please just kidnap C.J. now? 230 00:07:06,347 --> 00:07:08,305 [tires screech] 231 00:07:08,349 --> 00:07:09,654 [upbeat music] 232 00:07:09,698 --> 00:07:11,569 [screams] Leave me alone! 233 00:07:11,613 --> 00:07:13,833 - Leave me alone! - What the [bleep]? 234 00:07:13,876 --> 00:07:15,858 You'll never get me alive! Help! 235 00:07:16,139 --> 00:07:17,793 Help! Somebody call the police! 236 00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,665 Here, take her. Take her instead of me. 237 00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:22,455 [grunts] No, don't hurt me. 238 00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:23,650 Don't hurt me. 239 00:07:24,495 --> 00:07:26,410 - Oh, it's you. - Yeah, it's us. 240 00:07:26,454 --> 00:07:28,108 Now, get in the van. 241 00:07:28,151 --> 00:07:29,238 Oh, okay. 242 00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,679 Help! 243 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,156 [screams] 244 00:07:37,421 --> 00:07:39,206 Hey, could we stop and get a Slushee? 245 00:07:39,249 --> 00:07:41,425 It's just that you guys kinda made me drop it back there. 246 00:07:41,469 --> 00:07:43,688 - What the hell was that, C.J.? - I'm sorry! 247 00:07:43,732 --> 00:07:44,951 I didn't know it was you. 248 00:07:44,994 --> 00:07:46,474 You were supposed to be in gorilla masks. 249 00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:47,779 Okay, so, let me get this straight. 250 00:07:47,823 --> 00:07:49,607 You thought that we were real kidnappers 251 00:07:49,651 --> 00:07:51,174 who showed up at the exact time 252 00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:52,567 that we planned a fake kidnapping? 253 00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:54,351 Exactly. You get it. He gets it. 254 00:07:54,395 --> 00:07:55,657 Nobody is following us. 255 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,832 I'm headed back to the apartment. 256 00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,529 Okay, look, that didn't go great, 257 00:07:58,573 --> 00:08:00,575 but we got away, and on the plus side, 258 00:08:00,618 --> 00:08:02,098 no more of the plan hinges on C.J. 259 00:08:02,142 --> 00:08:03,273 Oh, thank God. 260 00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,535 He pulled off your mask, Jake. 261 00:08:04,579 --> 00:08:05,500 What if someone saw you? 262 00:08:05,536 --> 00:08:07,321 That's why we have The Vulture. 263 00:08:08,061 --> 00:08:09,366 - Kobe. - Ow. 264 00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:11,586 [grunts] 265 00:08:11,629 --> 00:08:12,935 Captain Pembroke, what do you have there? 266 00:08:12,979 --> 00:08:14,763 - Did you find a hair? - Nice work. 267 00:08:14,806 --> 00:08:16,405 Let's bag it. Let's get it to the lab. 268 00:08:17,244 --> 00:08:18,549 They have my hair? 269 00:08:18,593 --> 00:08:20,247 I thought you put your two worst guys on this. 270 00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:21,552 These are my worst guys, all right? 271 00:08:21,596 --> 00:08:23,293 They're real dorks. They both wear glasses. 272 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,599 - One of them's even a woman. - Ugh. 273 00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:26,209 You said you didn't trust them to get coffee. 274 00:08:26,253 --> 00:08:28,211 Look, if you can't tell what "coffee" is code for by now, 275 00:08:28,255 --> 00:08:30,300 then you and I shouldn't be talking about this, Jake. 276 00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,475 Oh, my God. 277 00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:32,999 He put his best detectives on the case. 278 00:08:33,042 --> 00:08:35,131 Hey, my two best detectives are Sticky and Boner, 279 00:08:35,175 --> 00:08:37,220 and they definitely know how to order "coffee." 280 00:08:37,264 --> 00:08:38,613 Extra cream. Wink, wink. 281 00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:40,615 Guys, stop fighting. We did it. 282 00:08:40,658 --> 00:08:42,399 Let's just chill and play some "Madden." 283 00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:43,705 No one's playing "Madden" with you, C.J. 284 00:08:43,748 --> 00:08:45,098 - [sighs] - You know what, Peralta? 285 00:08:45,141 --> 00:08:47,709 This is all your fault. A witness saw your face 286 00:08:47,752 --> 00:08:49,667 and now there's a police sketch of you being sent around. 287 00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:51,452 Oh, please. That doesn't even look like me. 288 00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:52,888 The only thing that got right is my little curl, 289 00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:53,976 and I can just get rid of that. 290 00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:55,412 - Jake, you can't. - You're right. 291 00:08:55,456 --> 00:08:57,458 - It's worth the risk to keep it. - This is bad. 292 00:08:57,501 --> 00:08:59,025 - Our plan is collapsing. - No, it's not. 293 00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:01,592 John Kelly's gonna authorize the stingray within the hour 294 00:09:01,636 --> 00:09:02,767 and everything'll be fine... 295 00:09:02,811 --> 00:09:04,465 assuming Wuntch gets the bug in place. 296 00:09:04,508 --> 00:09:06,588 - [funky music] - _ 297 00:09:07,163 --> 00:09:09,296 - She's still standing there. - Oh, since we got time, 298 00:09:09,339 --> 00:09:10,471 you wanna talk about your good-bye party? 299 00:09:10,514 --> 00:09:11,733 Will you eat a cake, or does it have to be 300 00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:13,082 - boneless chicken breast? - Sure. 301 00:09:13,126 --> 00:09:15,219 70-year-old Terry can eat whatever he wants. 302 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,999 You are talking about my retirement party, right? 303 00:09:17,043 --> 00:09:18,261 20 years from now. 304 00:09:18,305 --> 00:09:19,828 Dude, you know I'm not talking about that. 305 00:09:19,871 --> 00:09:21,482 What do you think is gonna happen at the end of the week? 306 00:09:21,525 --> 00:09:23,614 I don't know, but I do know what's gonna happen right now. 307 00:09:23,658 --> 00:09:24,937 Topic change. 308 00:09:24,973 --> 00:09:27,060 You ever wonder where wind starts? 309 00:09:27,096 --> 00:09:28,880 I have. Wind is crazy. 310 00:09:28,924 --> 00:09:30,795 - You need to face facts. - About wind? 311 00:09:30,839 --> 00:09:32,536 I'm trying, but you won't engage. 312 00:09:32,580 --> 00:09:34,408 Why you in denial about wind, Rosa? 313 00:09:34,451 --> 00:09:35,500 Commissioner Kelly. 314 00:09:35,844 --> 00:09:37,063 Something's going on with Wuntch. 315 00:09:37,106 --> 00:09:38,803 I heard your app caught a serial killer. 316 00:09:38,847 --> 00:09:40,816 - [chuckles] - HotClues strikes again. 317 00:09:40,852 --> 00:09:42,394 Yes, indeedy. 318 00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:45,854 ♪ 319 00:09:45,897 --> 00:09:47,987 What the hell, Raymond? You were following me? 320 00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:49,292 I don't know what you're talking about. 321 00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:51,033 - I've been here the whole time. - My mistake. 322 00:09:51,077 --> 00:09:53,166 These two goons were carrying a dirty old mop 323 00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:54,689 that looked exactly like you. 324 00:09:54,732 --> 00:09:56,046 - What did you do? - She's up to something. 325 00:09:56,082 --> 00:09:57,170 - [phone dings] - I'm sure of it. 326 00:09:57,213 --> 00:09:58,693 Hey, it's Kimble and Gerard. 327 00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:00,571 Those nerds found DNA all over the scene. 328 00:10:00,607 --> 00:10:01,609 Take care of it. 329 00:10:01,652 --> 00:10:02,784 - Now? - Yes! 330 00:10:02,827 --> 00:10:04,090 You know, I know I just got here, 331 00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:05,308 but it feels like everything's falling apart. 332 00:10:05,352 --> 00:10:06,744 No, everything's going great, Rosa. 333 00:10:06,788 --> 00:10:08,529 Hey, cool. I'm not the only one 334 00:10:08,572 --> 00:10:09,965 that's in denial. It's catching on. 335 00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,575 I'm not in denial. We've had a few hiccups, 336 00:10:11,619 --> 00:10:13,925 but all that matters is that Wuntch planted the bug on Kelly. 337 00:10:13,969 --> 00:10:16,058 - No. I didn't. - What's that now? 338 00:10:16,102 --> 00:10:18,060 You don't trust me, I don't trust you. 339 00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:20,149 The mission is off. Here's your bug back. 340 00:10:20,193 --> 00:10:22,760 It's not an actual bug, so don't eat it, you lizard. 341 00:10:22,804 --> 00:10:25,594 Ha! You didn't specify the subspecies of lizard. 342 00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:26,936 I won that round! 343 00:10:26,972 --> 00:10:28,287 Oh, my God. Will you give it a rest? 344 00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:33,075 Oh, man. I can't believe this wild ride's over. 345 00:10:33,119 --> 00:10:34,294 We've changed so much. 346 00:10:34,337 --> 00:10:35,947 You know, when we started out, we were just 347 00:10:35,991 --> 00:10:38,254 Charles the jock, Amy the rebel, 348 00:10:38,298 --> 00:10:41,168 Captain Silly Pants, Talky-talky Rosa, 349 00:10:41,204 --> 00:10:44,260 Terry the stoner, and C.J. the ringleader. 350 00:10:44,304 --> 00:10:45,566 I'm not sure you're nailing these. 351 00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:47,959 Okay, I smoothed things over with Madeline, 352 00:10:48,003 --> 00:10:49,787 and she's agreed to rejoin the Suicide Squad. 353 00:10:49,831 --> 00:10:52,964 Oh, goody gumdrops. But do we even need her? 354 00:10:53,008 --> 00:10:54,270 What does she bring to the table? 355 00:10:54,314 --> 00:10:56,446 - 30 years of police experience. - I have 33. 356 00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,926 I earned a Police Combat Cross. 357 00:10:57,969 --> 00:10:59,101 I have a Medal of Honor. 358 00:10:59,145 --> 00:11:01,277 I own the record for most arrests 359 00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:03,148 as a uniformed officer in NYPD history. 360 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,412 You got me there... of course, I never spent much time in 361 00:11:05,455 --> 00:11:09,024 uniform because I was promoted to detective after one month. 362 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,721 They're not allowed to do that. It's against the rules. 363 00:11:10,765 --> 00:11:12,984 It's also against the rules to let a pile of worms 364 00:11:13,028 --> 00:11:14,638 wear a uniform, and yet here you stand. 365 00:11:14,682 --> 00:11:16,727 Okay, just stop. Look, sir, I've explained this. 366 00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:19,078 Wuntch is the only one that can get close to Kelly. 367 00:11:19,121 --> 00:11:20,553 - We need her. - Okay. 368 00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:22,429 - The worm pile stays. - Great. 369 00:11:22,472 --> 00:11:25,084 That was our last obstacle... except for one other thing, 370 00:11:25,127 --> 00:11:26,302 I promised her that you would apologize 371 00:11:26,346 --> 00:11:27,521 for everything you've ever done to her. 372 00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,610 Including the Michelle Obama incident? 373 00:11:29,653 --> 00:11:31,090 Yes, she mentioned that specifically. 374 00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:32,352 I'm very curious what happened there. 375 00:11:32,395 --> 00:11:34,031 Oh, it's nothing. But fine. 376 00:11:34,919 --> 00:11:38,401 I'm sorry, Madeline, for everything. 377 00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:40,455 - Hey. - Especially for... 378 00:11:41,839 --> 00:11:43,145 Pushing you into Michelle Obama 379 00:11:43,189 --> 00:11:44,668 from behind and then running away. 380 00:11:44,712 --> 00:11:45,887 - What? - Sir! 381 00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:48,150 - It was very funny. - Apology accepted. 382 00:11:48,194 --> 00:11:49,325 There's a Policeman's Ball tonight. 383 00:11:49,369 --> 00:11:51,327 I can plant the bug on Kelly there. 384 00:11:51,371 --> 00:11:53,242 And since you don't trust me, you can be my plus one. 385 00:11:53,286 --> 00:11:55,810 Oh, please. Everyone knows we're enemies. 386 00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:57,507 - It would raise suspicions. - Don't worry. 387 00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,466 I know just what to tell people. 388 00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:01,998 Madeline and I are now... 389 00:12:03,078 --> 00:12:04,282 lovers. 390 00:12:04,645 --> 00:12:06,777 So, we can assume Kelly authorized stingray surveillance 391 00:12:06,821 --> 00:12:09,171 and we missed it, but if we ratchet up the pressure on him, 392 00:12:09,207 --> 00:12:10,505 we might get another chance. 393 00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:12,116 How do we ratchet up pressure more than we already have? 394 00:12:12,152 --> 00:12:14,532 By making him believe that the "kidnappers" are serious, 395 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,047 and that C.J. is in real danger. 396 00:12:16,091 --> 00:12:19,050 Ooh, what if we send Kelly a severed finger in a box? 397 00:12:19,094 --> 00:12:20,704 No way! I need all my fingers. 398 00:12:20,748 --> 00:12:22,532 How else am I gonna do the hang ten sign? 399 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,055 Nobody's cutting off your fingers. 400 00:12:24,099 --> 00:12:25,709 I meant we would get one from the morgue. 401 00:12:25,753 --> 00:12:26,734 From the morgue? 402 00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:29,515 Man, we are always getting into the craziest situations. 403 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,846 If I were leaving this squad, I'd miss these moments, 404 00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:33,152 but I'm not, so I won't. 405 00:12:33,195 --> 00:12:34,631 Okay, seriously. What's going on with him? 406 00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:35,719 - It's a whole thing. - Is it gonna screw up the plan? 407 00:12:35,763 --> 00:12:37,068 It's more quietly self-destructive. 408 00:12:37,112 --> 00:12:38,873 - Sounds good. Terry, do you. - I have an idea. 409 00:12:39,245 --> 00:12:41,072 So when my dad lost his flower shop, my Aunt Bruce... 410 00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:42,726 Charles, we don't have time for a weird Boyle story 411 00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:44,119 right now. Just tell us your idea. 412 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,425 We make a scary hostage video 413 00:12:45,468 --> 00:12:46,907 where it looks like we're gonna kill C.J. 414 00:12:46,943 --> 00:12:48,382 Ooh, I love that. Wait a minute. 415 00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,325 Your dad did that to save his flower shop? 416 00:12:50,361 --> 00:12:51,449 Was your aunt the hostage? What happened? 417 00:12:51,485 --> 00:12:52,605 You said we didn't have time. 418 00:12:52,642 --> 00:12:53,860 I didn't know it was the coolest story ever. 419 00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:54,884 Oh, it is. 420 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,101 Well then, tell the whole thing and spare no detail. 421 00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:57,269 Okay, so you know how Aunt Bruce can lactate on command? 422 00:12:57,313 --> 00:12:58,792 - Of course. - Guys. 423 00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,446 Yeah, sorry. All right. So we'll make a hostage video, 424 00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,523 but I don't think we should do it here. It's too nice. 425 00:13:02,768 --> 00:13:05,495 Do we know anyone with, like, a real creepy basement? 426 00:13:05,538 --> 00:13:07,192 Yeah, it's just got one exposed light bulb 427 00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:08,498 and a couple of spent mattresses. 428 00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:09,941 "Spent"? Oh, yeah. 429 00:13:09,977 --> 00:13:11,326 - That sounds perfect. - Oh, wait. 430 00:13:11,362 --> 00:13:13,625 Before we decide... Scully, what's your basement like? 431 00:13:13,661 --> 00:13:15,141 Bunch of old Victorian wallpaper 432 00:13:15,177 --> 00:13:17,266 that came with the house. I tried to peel it off, 433 00:13:17,302 --> 00:13:18,651 but the wall underneath was covered with 434 00:13:18,687 --> 00:13:20,950 - fingernail scratches. - BOTH: Ooh. 435 00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:22,650 Hitchcock, can you top it? 436 00:13:22,686 --> 00:13:24,209 Mine has mother's hospital bed. 437 00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:25,689 - Okay, Scully? - Uh-huh, yeah. 438 00:13:25,732 --> 00:13:28,387 I got this one red door I've never been able to open 439 00:13:28,431 --> 00:13:30,694 and I hear screams behind it sometimes. 440 00:13:30,737 --> 00:13:33,128 - [ominous music] - But it's probably just the wind. 441 00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:35,583 Okay, that's actually too scary. 442 00:13:35,619 --> 00:13:36,694 Hitchcock's it is. 443 00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,833 How do we get close enough without attracting attention? 444 00:13:39,877 --> 00:13:42,009 Could dance. You must know some moves. 445 00:13:42,053 --> 00:13:44,360 You were mentioned by name in the "Monster Mash." 446 00:13:44,403 --> 00:13:46,797 Fine, but on two conditions... we stay at least 447 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,234 4 inches apart at all times, and you tuck your tail 448 00:13:49,278 --> 00:13:51,192 back into your pants so I don't trip on it. 449 00:13:51,236 --> 00:13:52,254 Deal. 450 00:13:53,369 --> 00:13:55,573 My name is Captain Jason Stentley. 451 00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:58,097 It's Friday night... I think. 452 00:13:58,417 --> 00:13:59,976 There's no windows in here. 453 00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:03,281 This morning, I was kidnapped for real... 454 00:14:03,317 --> 00:14:04,423 - Stop. - What? 455 00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:05,505 What was wrong with that? 456 00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:06,858 You said you were kidnapped "for real." 457 00:14:06,894 --> 00:14:08,395 Well, I don't want people to think I was fake kidnapped. 458 00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,563 You know? I'm selling it. [laughs] 459 00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,123 Okay, let's just do it again. 460 00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:13,161 Say you were kidnapped and nothing else. 461 00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:15,286 Now he's gonna add "nothing else." 462 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,077 - She's right. - Okay, fine, one more time. 463 00:14:17,113 --> 00:14:18,897 Take 12. Just say kidnapped. 464 00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:19,969 Okay. 465 00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:22,199 - Kidnapped. - [groans] 466 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:23,792 You move well. 467 00:14:23,828 --> 00:14:26,352 Must be all the extra legs, you crab. 468 00:14:26,388 --> 00:14:27,867 Don't you find this exhausting? 469 00:14:27,903 --> 00:14:29,296 Thinking of fresh insults? 470 00:14:29,332 --> 00:14:32,030 Not at all, you coffin cave mold beetle. 471 00:14:32,277 --> 00:14:33,539 [dramatic tango music playing] 472 00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:35,280 I meant our relationship. 473 00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:36,716 Aren't you tired of the rivalry? 474 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,545 We fight and we fight, and nothing changes. 475 00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:41,112 But we're really not so different. 476 00:14:41,155 --> 00:14:42,592 I suppose we were close once. 477 00:14:42,635 --> 00:14:44,637 Remember Brighton Beach? 478 00:14:44,681 --> 00:14:47,901 1,200 kilos of heroin in an abandoned subway tunnel. 479 00:14:47,945 --> 00:14:49,250 How could I forget? 480 00:14:49,294 --> 00:14:51,688 The largest drug bust in NYPD history 481 00:14:51,731 --> 00:14:53,690 pulled off by a most unlikely duo. 482 00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:56,083 A woman, and a gay, black detective. 483 00:14:56,127 --> 00:15:00,174 No, I meant a human and a rotted jack-o'-lantern. 484 00:15:00,218 --> 00:15:01,187 [piano flourish] 485 00:15:01,223 --> 00:15:02,529 Don't be so hard on yourself. 486 00:15:02,648 --> 00:15:04,819 You weren't all the way rotted back then. 487 00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:07,399 [gasps] There's John Kelly. 488 00:15:07,443 --> 00:15:09,183 Twirl me into him, and I'll place the bug. 489 00:15:09,227 --> 00:15:10,750 ♪ 490 00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:13,536 - Hello, John. - Right on time, Madeline. 491 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,408 Did Raymond buy it? Did he think you were bonding? 492 00:15:16,452 --> 00:15:18,541 He was smiling at me like an idiot. 493 00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,942 You've betrayed us, you coffin cave mole beetle! 494 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,285 Okay, one more take. 495 00:15:24,329 --> 00:15:26,592 Please stop saying, "Don't forget to like and subscribe." 496 00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,942 Sure, but how we gonna get followers on this thing then? 497 00:15:28,986 --> 00:15:30,509 - [sighs] - NYPD! 498 00:15:30,553 --> 00:15:31,945 - NYPD! - What's going on? 499 00:15:31,989 --> 00:15:33,338 What's going on is you're under arrest 500 00:15:33,382 --> 00:15:35,340 for the kidnapping of Jason Stentley. 501 00:15:35,384 --> 00:15:36,434 Kobe. 502 00:15:37,163 --> 00:15:39,748 But Kobe never passed. 503 00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,782 I can't go to prison. I couldn't even get through 504 00:15:44,826 --> 00:15:45,696 the scary parts of the musical, "Chicago." 505 00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:46,871 Does anyone have a good lawyer? 506 00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:48,264 I got a divorce guy, an alimony guy, 507 00:15:48,308 --> 00:15:50,741 a slip and fall guy, a pizza's too hot guy... 508 00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:53,650 Everybody just relax. We're not gonna go to prison. 509 00:15:53,693 --> 00:15:55,304 It's all gonna work out in the end. 510 00:15:55,347 --> 00:15:57,044 - Should we play Celebrity? - Come on, man. 511 00:15:57,088 --> 00:15:58,481 Yeah, come on, Terry. No one wants to play Celebrity... 512 00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,396 the best game ever made... but he does have a point. 513 00:16:00,439 --> 00:16:01,962 Nothing bad is gonna happen to us. 514 00:16:02,006 --> 00:16:03,137 Wrong! 515 00:16:03,181 --> 00:16:04,313 You turds are about to get flushed. 516 00:16:04,356 --> 00:16:06,053 Come on, Peralta. You're up first. 517 00:16:06,097 --> 00:16:07,403 - Let's go. - Oh, cool. 518 00:16:07,446 --> 00:16:09,927 So, I'm the first turd to be flushed. 519 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,668 Bye, you guys. What are you doing? 520 00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:13,713 You were gonna get promoted out of Missing Persons. 521 00:16:13,757 --> 00:16:15,062 Your plan went to hell, tough guy. 522 00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:16,934 Wuntch... she came to me with a much better one. 523 00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,892 Guess what she's giving me for betraying you? 524 00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,285 My dream job... captain of the... 525 00:16:20,329 --> 00:16:21,547 - 69th precinct. - Bingo. 526 00:16:21,591 --> 00:16:23,114 Look, you're not gonna get away with this. 527 00:16:23,157 --> 00:16:24,376 You were a part of the whole thing. 528 00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:25,812 First of all, Jake, there's no records 529 00:16:25,856 --> 00:16:27,161 that you and I teamed up together 530 00:16:27,205 --> 00:16:28,815 because you insisted that we only communicate 531 00:16:28,859 --> 00:16:30,600 - through a beeper. - Stupid beepers. 532 00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:32,253 We're right to be addicted to our phones. 533 00:16:32,297 --> 00:16:34,386 Eyewitness saw you. The DNA's all over the scene. 534 00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:37,476 And I caught you red-handed making a hostage video. 535 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:38,869 Your [bleep] is cooked. 536 00:16:38,912 --> 00:16:40,174 That's not a saying. It's "goose." 537 00:16:40,218 --> 00:16:41,350 Who cares about a goose? 538 00:16:41,393 --> 00:16:42,786 I'm talking about cooking a penis. 539 00:16:42,829 --> 00:16:44,004 All right, this is pointless. 540 00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:45,397 C.J. will just tell everyone the truth. 541 00:16:45,441 --> 00:16:47,007 No, he won't. I bought him off. 542 00:16:47,051 --> 00:16:48,400 All I gotta do is play "Madden" with him. 543 00:16:48,444 --> 00:16:50,184 - Come on, C.J. - Hey, you know what? 544 00:16:50,228 --> 00:16:51,577 I just beefed hard, so I'm gonna let you 545 00:16:51,621 --> 00:16:54,319 stew in here for a little while. I am loving it. 546 00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:57,008 [laughs] Such a loser. 547 00:16:57,366 --> 00:16:59,193 - [door slams] - And this is rock bottom. 548 00:16:59,237 --> 00:17:01,065 Oh, Raymond. This is sad. 549 00:17:01,108 --> 00:17:02,675 He's the one you think of like a son, right? 550 00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:05,156 Or are you closer to Santiago? Not that it matters. 551 00:17:05,199 --> 00:17:06,462 They're both equally going to prison. 552 00:17:06,505 --> 00:17:08,947 Oh, come on, Madeline. There's no need to gloat. 553 00:17:09,247 --> 00:17:11,075 [laughing] Though, it does feel good. 554 00:17:11,118 --> 00:17:12,337 Gloaty, gloat, gloat. 555 00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,339 I knew I never should have trusted you. 556 00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:17,386 Yes, obviously not, you dum-dum. 557 00:17:17,429 --> 00:17:19,213 John, you're gonna wanna remember this. 558 00:17:19,257 --> 00:17:20,650 Why don't you snap a photo of him? 559 00:17:20,693 --> 00:17:21,588 Oh, yeah. 560 00:17:22,478 --> 00:17:24,044 - [shutter clicks] - Yeah...[laughs] 561 00:17:24,088 --> 00:17:25,176 Why don't you get in there with him? 562 00:17:25,219 --> 00:17:26,438 Oh, why the heck not? 563 00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:28,397 My kids just got me a digital picture frame. 564 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,877 All right, everybody say, "Nine-Nine." 565 00:17:30,921 --> 00:17:32,183 - Nine-Nine. - Mm. 566 00:17:32,226 --> 00:17:34,315 Raymond, I love the scowl, 567 00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,230 but could you slump your shoulders a bit more? 568 00:17:36,274 --> 00:17:38,650 Remember... you're a man who just lost everything. 569 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,208 - And done. - [phone jingles] 570 00:17:43,934 --> 00:17:45,979 - We got it, Peralta. - Boom! 571 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,416 Are they totally shocked? 572 00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:49,243 Is Kelly like, what just happened? 573 00:17:49,287 --> 00:17:51,420 - What just happened? - You've been had, John. 574 00:17:51,463 --> 00:17:53,639 You see, when you handed me your own locked phone 575 00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:55,206 just now to snap that photo, 576 00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:57,077 I cloned it to a secure network server. 577 00:17:57,121 --> 00:17:58,601 When you handed Wuntch your locked phone... 578 00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,385 Yeah, yeah. I already said that part. 579 00:18:00,429 --> 00:18:02,213 Sorry. I can't see or hear anything. 580 00:18:02,256 --> 00:18:03,519 I'll just be quiet from now on. 581 00:18:03,562 --> 00:18:04,911 I might chime in with a, "Yeah!" here and there 582 00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:06,435 - to stay in the mix. - Great. 583 00:18:06,478 --> 00:18:08,132 The only way to get you to trust me is if you thought 584 00:18:08,175 --> 00:18:09,829 - I was betraying Holt. - Yeah! 585 00:18:09,873 --> 00:18:12,484 And now I have access to all your personal correspondence... 586 00:18:12,528 --> 00:18:13,659 All right! 587 00:18:13,703 --> 00:18:15,269 Including all stingray authorizations. 588 00:18:15,313 --> 00:18:17,446 It's over, Kelly. You're done. 589 00:18:17,489 --> 00:18:18,577 Okay. 590 00:18:18,621 --> 00:18:20,274 You may have won this round, Madeline, 591 00:18:20,318 --> 00:18:22,102 but you're gonna live to regret it. 592 00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:24,583 You are both so gonna live to regret it. 593 00:18:24,627 --> 00:18:26,455 I agree with what was just said. 594 00:18:26,498 --> 00:18:28,195 Hey, Jake? I'm just gonna hold this down. 595 00:18:28,239 --> 00:18:29,283 Yeah, sounds good. Thank you. 596 00:18:29,327 --> 00:18:30,850 When did you hatch this plan? 597 00:18:30,894 --> 00:18:32,591 Peralta thought of it when I tried to quit the mission. 598 00:18:32,635 --> 00:18:34,419 Hey, what's Holt's expression right now? 599 00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:36,290 Would you describe it as, proud daddy? 600 00:18:36,334 --> 00:18:37,478 It's hard to tell. 601 00:18:37,514 --> 00:18:39,380 He's still piecing it together. This could take a while. 602 00:18:39,424 --> 00:18:42,296 Why didn't you just tell me what was actually happening? 603 00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,646 I wanted to, sir, 604 00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,604 but it involved trusting Madeline Wuntch, 605 00:18:45,648 --> 00:18:47,606 and I just didn't think you could handle it. 606 00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:49,906 But I'm sorry that I lied to you. 607 00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:53,090 Sir? Sir? 608 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,265 Oh, no. Is he mad? 609 00:18:54,308 --> 00:18:56,354 I can't see anything. Did he storm out? 610 00:18:56,397 --> 00:19:00,010 No, I stormed in... to tell you it was a great plan. 611 00:19:00,053 --> 00:19:01,446 Nice work, Peralta. 612 00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:04,099 And there it is... the proud daddy. 613 00:19:04,362 --> 00:19:07,104 - _ - Well, well, well. Commissioner. 614 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,627 Still not used to hearing that. 615 00:19:08,671 --> 00:19:10,237 Of course, I'm only acting commissioner 616 00:19:10,281 --> 00:19:11,761 until they choose someone permanent. 617 00:19:11,804 --> 00:19:12,936 Might well be you. 618 00:19:12,979 --> 00:19:15,346 After all, you brought down John Kelly. 619 00:19:15,382 --> 00:19:16,722 Wonder what he's doing now. 620 00:19:16,766 --> 00:19:18,681 He's got a much higher-paying job in the private sector. 621 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,118 - Yes, the world is horrible. - Mm. 622 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,163 But then again, sometimes, it surprises you. 623 00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:26,384 This whole time, I thought you were up to something, 624 00:19:26,427 --> 00:19:29,169 but really, you just wanted what was right for the NYPD. 625 00:19:29,213 --> 00:19:30,349 I did. 626 00:19:30,997 --> 00:19:33,570 But also, I was up to something. 627 00:19:34,392 --> 00:19:36,046 Could I have everyone's attention? 628 00:19:36,089 --> 00:19:37,526 I know it's my last day, 629 00:19:37,569 --> 00:19:39,906 and I've been in denial about it all week. 630 00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:41,942 And I still am. 631 00:19:42,226 --> 00:19:44,010 So, I'm giving this toast for no reason. 632 00:19:44,054 --> 00:19:45,229 Here's to nothing! [laughs] 633 00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:46,404 You okay there, Ter? 634 00:19:46,447 --> 00:19:48,227 It's just that, if I wasn't in denial, 635 00:19:48,537 --> 00:19:50,321 I would be so depressed right now 636 00:19:50,364 --> 00:19:52,195 at the thought of leaving all of you. 637 00:19:52,366 --> 00:19:53,949 Yeah, we'd be depressed too... 638 00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:57,110 if anything was happening, which it isn't. 639 00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,199 Right, and I'm not gonna say that 640 00:19:59,243 --> 00:20:01,680 no matter what precinct number is on your uniform, 641 00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:03,682 you will always be part of the Nine-Nine. 642 00:20:03,726 --> 00:20:06,206 It means so much to me you aren't saying that right now. 643 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:08,252 And I wanna say I'm not gonna miss you at all, 644 00:20:08,295 --> 00:20:09,775 you piece of crap. Good riddance. 645 00:20:09,819 --> 00:20:11,560 Pretty sure you're misreading the game here, Charles. 646 00:20:11,603 --> 00:20:12,952 Yeah. I see that now. 647 00:20:12,996 --> 00:20:14,606 - To nothing. - ALL: To nothing! 648 00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:17,566 - Thanks, guys, but this sucks. - Terry, come on. 649 00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:19,089 We're still gonna see you all the time. 650 00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:20,126 I promise. 651 00:20:20,162 --> 00:20:21,732 You'll come visit me in Staten Island? 652 00:20:22,092 --> 00:20:24,010 Yeah! Or, you know, 653 00:20:24,529 --> 00:20:26,792 you can come to Brooklyn. There's seven of us, one of you, 654 00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:28,402 but we can iron out the details later. 655 00:20:28,446 --> 00:20:29,621 Nobody's going to Staten Island. 656 00:20:29,665 --> 00:20:31,536 Okay, damn, I get it. I'll come to you. 657 00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:33,625 No, you're staying here at the Nine-Nine. 658 00:20:33,669 --> 00:20:35,279 I just talked to Madeline Wuntch. 659 00:20:35,322 --> 00:20:36,672 She's making a personnel change, 660 00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:38,238 which frees up some room in the budget. 661 00:20:38,282 --> 00:20:40,197 - Really? - What kind of personnel change? 662 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,199 I told her that I'd only spent a month 663 00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,983 as a patrolman before I made detective. 664 00:20:44,027 --> 00:20:45,419 She said that's against regulations 665 00:20:45,463 --> 00:20:49,249 and has decided to rectify the situation. 666 00:20:49,293 --> 00:20:51,164 Rectify it how? 667 00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,167 - [whistle blowing] - _ 668 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,170 [Frank Sinatra's "That's Life"] 669 00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:03,263 ♪ 670 00:21:03,307 --> 00:21:06,353 - ♪ That's life ♪ - ♪ That's life ♪ 671 00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:08,921 ♪ That's what all the people say ♪ 672 00:21:08,965 --> 00:21:10,749 ♪ 673 00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:13,926 ♪ You're riding high in April ♪ 674 00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,494 ♪ Shot down in May ♪ 675 00:21:16,537 --> 00:21:19,802 ♪ But I know I'm gonna change ♪ 676 00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,631 ♪ That tune ♪ 677 00:21:22,674 --> 00:21:24,110 ♪ When I... ♪ 678 00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:28,618 Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian www.addic7ed.com 52118

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