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1
00:00:04,117 --> 00:00:07,570
Gentlemen, may I present
to you the Suicide Squad.
2
00:00:07,606 --> 00:00:09,509
Hang on there, genius.
You want us, your enemies,
3
00:00:09,552 --> 00:00:11,336
to help you bring down
Commissioner Kelly?
4
00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:12,642
You guys consider me your enemy?
5
00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:13,820
You're some of my best friends.
6
00:00:13,856 --> 00:00:15,717
We haven't talked to you in,
like, three years, C.J.
7
00:00:15,753 --> 00:00:17,450
Wait, yeah.
I'm thinking of different guys.
8
00:00:17,486 --> 00:00:19,488
Oh, Raymond, that you came
to me to ask for help
9
00:00:19,524 --> 00:00:20,919
shows how much you've matured.
10
00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:22,428
You know what else shows
how much you've matured?
11
00:00:22,464 --> 00:00:23,544
Your withered face.
12
00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:26,003
Now I know why you refer
to this as a Suicide Squad,
13
00:00:26,047 --> 00:00:28,752
Peralta, because I already
want to kill myself.
14
00:00:28,788 --> 00:00:30,746
Why don't you wait a week?
You'll probably die of old age.
15
00:00:30,782 --> 00:00:31,981
The only way I'm going to die
16
00:00:32,017 --> 00:00:34,011
is if you touch me with
one of your bony fingers
17
00:00:34,055 --> 00:00:37,232
and drag me across
the River Styx, you reaper.
18
00:00:37,275 --> 00:00:38,842
Ah, wonderful. Very creative.
19
00:00:38,886 --> 00:00:40,806
Look, John Kelly has to be stopped.
20
00:00:40,842 --> 00:00:42,191
He's spying on civilians.
21
00:00:42,227 --> 00:00:43,924
It's unconstitutional and it's wrong.
22
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,588
Please. Do you think any one
23
00:00:45,632 --> 00:00:47,416
of these jackals cares about
what's right or wrong?
24
00:00:47,459 --> 00:00:48,678
- [whistles] I'll help.
- See, sir?
25
00:00:48,722 --> 00:00:50,158
There is good in every person.
26
00:00:50,201 --> 00:00:51,769
But I want it to be known
it's for selfish reasons.
27
00:00:51,805 --> 00:00:53,082
Why would you want that to be known?
28
00:00:53,118 --> 00:00:54,429
'Cause I've never met C.J. before
29
00:00:54,465 --> 00:00:55,433
and I want him to think that I'm cool.
30
00:00:55,469 --> 00:00:56,456
It's working.
31
00:00:56,492 --> 00:00:57,818
I mean, I love how
you're taking over the room.
32
00:00:57,861 --> 00:00:58,993
Like that? Yeah, it's awesome.
33
00:00:59,036 --> 00:01:00,385
You know, I actually wouldn't mind
34
00:01:00,429 --> 00:01:01,604
getting rid of John Kelly either.
35
00:01:01,648 --> 00:01:02,866
That guy makes up so many dumb rules.
36
00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:04,433
He told me I couldn't eat raw chicken.
37
00:01:04,476 --> 00:01:06,000
And you think a new commissioner will...
38
00:01:06,043 --> 00:01:07,784
Yeah, he's already on board,
so yes, a new commissioner
39
00:01:07,828 --> 00:01:10,004
would let you eat raw chicken
for whatever reason.
40
00:01:10,047 --> 00:01:11,483
- It's healthier.
- It sure is, Ceej.
41
00:01:11,527 --> 00:01:13,007
And what do you hope
to get out of this, Madeline?
42
00:01:13,050 --> 00:01:15,390
Let me guess... Revenge on
Dorothy for killing your sister?
43
00:01:15,426 --> 00:01:16,812
I want the same as you, Raymond...
44
00:01:16,848 --> 00:01:18,984
I think what John Kelly
is doing is terrible.
45
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:20,580
Yes, well said, Wuntch.
46
00:01:20,623 --> 00:01:22,756
So, we're all on board.
This is exciting!
47
00:01:22,799 --> 00:01:25,628
Let's bring it in, huh?
"Suicide Squad" on three.
48
00:01:25,672 --> 00:01:27,523
Ready? One, two...
49
00:01:27,559 --> 00:01:28,695
I don't touch other dudes' hands.
50
00:01:28,731 --> 00:01:30,198
- Whose hand is sticky?
- It might be me.
51
00:01:30,241 --> 00:01:32,069
- I ate a popsicle earlier.
- It's probably Madeline.
52
00:01:32,113 --> 00:01:34,071
Cockroaches release
a mucus-like secretion.
53
00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:36,508
You would know about roaches, you roach.
54
00:01:36,552 --> 00:01:38,362
And three! Suicide Squad!
55
00:01:38,641 --> 00:01:41,601
[upbeat music]
56
00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:46,669
♪
57
00:01:53,262 --> 00:01:57,262
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:01:59,163 --> 00:02:00,402
Sorry. Sorry I'm late.
59
00:02:00,445 --> 00:02:02,796
Why is Santiago here?
We agreed to keep this secret.
60
00:02:02,839 --> 00:02:04,145
Well, it's hard to keep secrets
61
00:02:04,188 --> 00:02:05,755
when you're married to an ace detective.
62
00:02:05,799 --> 00:02:07,104
He told me as soon as he got home.
63
00:02:07,148 --> 00:02:09,019
I did. I'm so excited
about the Suicide Squad.
64
00:02:09,063 --> 00:02:10,576
Oh, I love seeing these glimpses
65
00:02:10,612 --> 00:02:12,068
of domestic Peraltiago.
66
00:02:12,104 --> 00:02:13,138
- Now kiss.
- No.
67
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,765
- You don't do it enough.
- We do it all the time,
68
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,411
- just not in front of you.
- It's been a year!
69
00:02:16,447 --> 00:02:17,709
We don't have time for this.
70
00:02:17,745 --> 00:02:19,486
Now, Kelly's stingrays
can steal cell phone data
71
00:02:19,522 --> 00:02:20,958
from anyone, including us, so I procured
72
00:02:20,994 --> 00:02:22,801
special equipment for us
to communicate with.
73
00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:25,035
Extremely old beepers?
74
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,081
Yeah, they're analog, so the
stingrays can't detect them.
75
00:02:27,124 --> 00:02:29,605
I had one of these in high
school, and it was so cool.
76
00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:31,346
You're just sitting in math class,
77
00:02:31,389 --> 00:02:32,626
and you feel that buzz,
78
00:02:32,662 --> 00:02:34,577
and it's your dad saying he loves you.
79
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,702
The rest of the day,
you're just walking on air.
80
00:02:36,738 --> 00:02:38,214
[smooch]
81
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:39,310
Did you guys just kiss?
82
00:02:39,354 --> 00:02:40,385
- BOTH: Hm?
- Did I miss it?
83
00:02:40,421 --> 00:02:41,553
Yes. It was very unprofessional.
84
00:02:41,589 --> 00:02:43,025
- Oh, come on!
- I don't like this.
85
00:02:43,061 --> 00:02:44,715
I wouldn't wish working
with Madeline Wuntch
86
00:02:44,751 --> 00:02:46,666
on my worst enemy, and my worst enemy
87
00:02:46,702 --> 00:02:48,355
is Madeline Wuntch, whom I hate.
88
00:02:48,391 --> 00:02:49,843
Look, if you wanna stop Kelly,
89
00:02:49,886 --> 00:02:51,566
she's the key to my entire plan.
90
00:02:51,602 --> 00:02:53,038
So, either you get over it,
91
00:02:53,074 --> 00:02:54,826
or we walk away from
this thing right now.
92
00:02:55,766 --> 00:02:57,181
Ugh, fine.
93
00:02:57,462 --> 00:02:59,290
I will learn to trust Madeline Wuntch.
94
00:02:59,326 --> 00:03:01,590
I will never trust Madeline Wuntch.
95
00:03:01,626 --> 00:03:03,885
She's a venomous snake
waiting to strike,
96
00:03:03,921 --> 00:03:05,257
and you know what we do to snakes.
97
00:03:05,293 --> 00:03:06,860
Chop their heads off. Remove the skin.
98
00:03:06,903 --> 00:03:08,078
- Turn them into boots.
- Don't be absurd.
99
00:03:08,122 --> 00:03:09,528
Who would want Trollskin boots?
100
00:03:09,563 --> 00:03:10,558
You just said she was a snake.
101
00:03:10,594 --> 00:03:11,952
The devil comes in many forms.
102
00:03:11,995 --> 00:03:14,694
No, what I meant was
I want you to follow her
103
00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:16,283
and make sure she doesn't betray us.
104
00:03:16,319 --> 00:03:18,262
And, uh, don't tell Peralta.
105
00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:20,178
Count me in.
I got nothing else going on.
106
00:03:20,214 --> 00:03:22,527
Aren't you supposed to be getting ready
to transfer to Staten Island?
107
00:03:22,571 --> 00:03:24,791
- Eh, that's not real.
- It was pretty real last week.
108
00:03:24,834 --> 00:03:27,166
That's before I decided
to pretend it wasn't.
109
00:03:28,055 --> 00:03:30,100
- I'm in denial.
- Most people who are in denial
110
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,711
don't usually say they're in denial.
111
00:03:31,754 --> 00:03:33,277
That's because they're in denial
112
00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:34,621
about being in denial.
113
00:03:34,858 --> 00:03:36,121
But I'm not in denial.
114
00:03:36,641 --> 00:03:37,903
I'm in denial.
115
00:03:38,065 --> 00:03:40,067
Is Jeffords' brain okay
for this mission?
116
00:03:40,110 --> 00:03:43,157
Yes, sir... for this and all
future Nine-Nine missions,
117
00:03:43,193 --> 00:03:44,835
which I'll definitely be a part of.
118
00:03:44,871 --> 00:03:46,007
But let's go.
119
00:03:46,595 --> 00:03:47,988
So, this apartment will be our base
120
00:03:48,031 --> 00:03:49,163
for the duration of the mission.
121
00:03:49,206 --> 00:03:50,860
Thank you to The Vulture
for procuring it.
122
00:03:50,904 --> 00:03:52,470
Hey, don't thank me.
Thank my boy, Billy.
123
00:03:52,514 --> 00:03:54,559
He said the place was mine
while he's still in prison.
124
00:03:54,603 --> 00:03:56,039
That's not what it sounds like.
125
00:03:56,083 --> 00:03:58,608
His only crime was planning
a kickass music festival.
126
00:03:58,644 --> 00:04:00,471
Are you friends with
the Fyre Festival guy?
127
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:02,140
Best friends. He got a bum rap.
128
00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:04,439
You can learn about it when
my documentary comes out.
129
00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:06,745
It points all the blame
where it clearly belongs...
130
00:04:07,485 --> 00:04:08,660
with the island people.
131
00:04:08,704 --> 00:04:10,532
Wow, so many levels of terrible there.
132
00:04:10,575 --> 00:04:12,012
All right, we need to catch Kelly
133
00:04:12,055 --> 00:04:13,753
in the act of illegally spying,
so here's the plan.
134
00:04:13,796 --> 00:04:15,798
We commit a fake crime so serious
135
00:04:15,842 --> 00:04:17,234
that he's forced to deploy the stingray.
136
00:04:17,278 --> 00:04:19,280
- What kind of crime?
- We're gonna kidnap a cop.
137
00:04:19,323 --> 00:04:21,586
But not just any cop...
it needs to be someone
138
00:04:21,630 --> 00:04:22,892
so high-ranking that it sends shockwaves
139
00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:24,502
through the system,
but not important enough
140
00:04:24,546 --> 00:04:27,101
that their absence negatively
impacts the NYPD in any way.
141
00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:32,815
Who you guys thinking?
142
00:04:32,859 --> 00:04:34,305
We're clearly all looking at you.
143
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:35,723
Oh, God. Am I in charge of the meeting?
144
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:36,847
Dismissed. Dismissed.
145
00:04:36,883 --> 00:04:38,603
No. You're getting kidnapped, C.J.
146
00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:40,301
Amy, Charles, and I
will be the kidnappers.
147
00:04:40,344 --> 00:04:42,813
Captain Holt is the driver.
Here's how it'll go down.
148
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:44,157
- Approaching the target.
- All right, let's do this.
149
00:04:44,193 --> 00:04:45,204
Masks on.
150
00:04:45,596 --> 00:04:47,874
Actually, scratch that.
We're not gonna use ski masks.
151
00:04:47,917 --> 00:04:49,440
We'll use cool rubber masks.
152
00:04:49,484 --> 00:04:51,355
Ooh, we should be the ladies
of "The First Wives Club."
153
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,347
I call Keaton.
154
00:04:52,383 --> 00:04:53,658
We're not gonna do
"First Wives Club" masks.
155
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:54,799
Just because you can't be Keaton?
156
00:04:54,835 --> 00:04:56,967
- Grow up, Jake!
- No, because they don't exist.
157
00:04:57,003 --> 00:04:58,505
And also, yeah,
158
00:04:58,541 --> 00:05:00,010
Keaton is clearly the coolest one
159
00:05:00,046 --> 00:05:02,048
and I don't think it's really fair
that you just "called her."
160
00:05:02,084 --> 00:05:03,825
Forget it.
We'll wear scary gorilla masks.
161
00:05:04,107 --> 00:05:05,630
- Approaching the target.
- Okay, let's do this.
162
00:05:05,674 --> 00:05:06,868
Masks on.
163
00:05:06,904 --> 00:05:08,459
When C.J. goes to get
his morning coffee,
164
00:05:08,503 --> 00:05:09,939
- we will arrive and grab him.
- [tires screech]
165
00:05:09,983 --> 00:05:11,022
He will pretend to struggle
166
00:05:11,058 --> 00:05:12,491
just enough to attract attention.
167
00:05:12,527 --> 00:05:14,094
Help! Help!
168
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:15,566
[tires screech]
169
00:05:15,602 --> 00:05:17,512
I'm gonna write this down
so I remember my lines.
170
00:05:17,555 --> 00:05:19,122
I can see that you already
have the word "milk"
171
00:05:19,166 --> 00:05:20,863
written on your hand.
I know where this is going.
172
00:05:20,907 --> 00:05:22,473
Milk! Milk!
173
00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:23,953
- Don't do that.
- Too risky.
174
00:05:23,997 --> 00:05:25,868
What if you leave DNA evidence
at the scene?
175
00:05:25,912 --> 00:05:27,696
Well, luckily,
it's a missing person's case,
176
00:05:27,739 --> 00:05:29,959
so the lead detective
will be The Vulture.
177
00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:31,134
He will arrive and...
178
00:05:31,178 --> 00:05:32,570
No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, Peralta.
179
00:05:32,614 --> 00:05:34,616
You forgot to say that
I ride in on my motorcycle.
180
00:05:34,659 --> 00:05:37,706
Okay, The Vulture who
rode in on his motorcycle...
181
00:05:37,749 --> 00:05:38,778
Kobe.
182
00:05:39,084 --> 00:05:40,709
Will take charge and
eliminate any evidence
183
00:05:40,752 --> 00:05:41,948
we left behind.
184
00:05:41,984 --> 00:05:43,725
- There's nothing here.
- Make sure the other people
185
00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,284
working with you
are your worst detectives.
186
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:47,672
I got just the guys for you.
I mean, they're real duds.
187
00:05:47,716 --> 00:05:49,725
I wouldn't even trust
those two to get coffee for me.
188
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,894
Gerard, tell him where we're at.
189
00:05:51,938 --> 00:05:52,915
Brooklyn.
190
00:05:52,951 --> 00:05:54,551
You know, you guys take off,
all right? I got this.
191
00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,720
- All right.
- Hey, you. Come here.
192
00:05:56,932 --> 00:05:58,020
You wanna tell me what you saw?
193
00:05:58,056 --> 00:05:59,535
I'll tell you what I'd like to see.
194
00:05:59,571 --> 00:06:00,703
- Your big...
- Stop.
195
00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,165
I'm the one describing the plan.
196
00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:03,384
What, so there's not
gonna be any sex at all?
197
00:06:03,427 --> 00:06:04,478
No. The point is,
198
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:06,169
without any good leads,
Kelly will give the order
199
00:06:06,213 --> 00:06:08,215
to use the stingray...
an order that we will record
200
00:06:08,258 --> 00:06:09,956
thanks to our very own Madeline Wuntch.
201
00:06:09,999 --> 00:06:12,175
Not possible.
Kelly won't tell me anything.
202
00:06:12,219 --> 00:06:14,612
- He won't even meet with me.
- Perhaps you can sneak in
203
00:06:14,656 --> 00:06:16,092
disguised as an old leather chair.
204
00:06:16,136 --> 00:06:19,008
Will you calm down?
She works at One Police Plaza.
205
00:06:19,052 --> 00:06:20,792
All you have to do is "run into him."
206
00:06:20,836 --> 00:06:21,911
Commissioner Kelly.
207
00:06:21,947 --> 00:06:23,404
Oh, Madeline. I didn't see you there.
208
00:06:23,447 --> 00:06:25,188
I thought you were an old leather chair.
209
00:06:25,232 --> 00:06:26,842
- He's not gonna say that.
- He might.
210
00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:28,278
You're worse than The Vulture.
211
00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:30,237
Anyways, give him a handshake,
a pat on the back...
212
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:32,152
I heard your app caught a serial killer.
213
00:06:32,195 --> 00:06:34,719
- [chuckles]
- HotClues strikes again.
214
00:06:34,763 --> 00:06:36,514
- Yes, indeedy.
- And plant the bug.
215
00:06:36,550 --> 00:06:37,900
And that's the plan.
216
00:06:37,936 --> 00:06:40,460
That is exactly how tomorrow's gonna go.
217
00:06:40,496 --> 00:06:41,470
Got it.
218
00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:43,421
So you do or you don't
want me to yell "milk"?
219
00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:48,551
- Approaching the target.
- Okay, let's do this.
220
00:06:48,595 --> 00:06:49,671
Masks on.
221
00:06:49,987 --> 00:06:51,336
I thought we were getting rubber masks.
222
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:53,338
Yeah, I couldn't find any.
It's not Halloween.
223
00:06:53,382 --> 00:06:54,644
These look like they're from
"Fifty Shades of Grey."
224
00:06:54,688 --> 00:06:56,298
Yeah, I got them from a sex shop, Amy,
225
00:06:56,341 --> 00:06:58,126
and we're lucky to have them.
There were only three left.
226
00:06:58,169 --> 00:07:00,617
At least you're not wearing a gimp mask.
227
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:01,872
Look, there weren't a lot of options.
228
00:07:01,908 --> 00:07:03,561
It was a very awkward
retail interaction.
229
00:07:03,605 --> 00:07:05,589
Can we please just kidnap C.J. now?
230
00:07:06,347 --> 00:07:08,305
[tires screech]
231
00:07:08,349 --> 00:07:09,654
[upbeat music]
232
00:07:09,698 --> 00:07:11,569
[screams] Leave me alone!
233
00:07:11,613 --> 00:07:13,833
- Leave me alone!
- What the [bleep]?
234
00:07:13,876 --> 00:07:15,858
You'll never get me alive! Help!
235
00:07:16,139 --> 00:07:17,793
Help! Somebody call the police!
236
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,665
Here, take her. Take her instead of me.
237
00:07:20,709 --> 00:07:22,455
[grunts] No, don't hurt me.
238
00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:23,650
Don't hurt me.
239
00:07:24,495 --> 00:07:26,410
- Oh, it's you.
- Yeah, it's us.
240
00:07:26,454 --> 00:07:28,108
Now, get in the van.
241
00:07:28,151 --> 00:07:29,238
Oh, okay.
242
00:07:29,460 --> 00:07:30,679
Help!
243
00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:33,156
[screams]
244
00:07:37,421 --> 00:07:39,206
Hey, could we stop and get a Slushee?
245
00:07:39,249 --> 00:07:41,425
It's just that you guys kinda
made me drop it back there.
246
00:07:41,469 --> 00:07:43,688
- What the hell was that, C.J.?
- I'm sorry!
247
00:07:43,732 --> 00:07:44,951
I didn't know it was you.
248
00:07:44,994 --> 00:07:46,474
You were supposed to be
in gorilla masks.
249
00:07:46,517 --> 00:07:47,779
Okay, so, let me get this straight.
250
00:07:47,823 --> 00:07:49,607
You thought that we were real kidnappers
251
00:07:49,651 --> 00:07:51,174
who showed up at the exact time
252
00:07:51,218 --> 00:07:52,567
that we planned a fake kidnapping?
253
00:07:52,610 --> 00:07:54,351
Exactly. You get it. He gets it.
254
00:07:54,395 --> 00:07:55,657
Nobody is following us.
255
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,832
I'm headed back to the apartment.
256
00:07:56,876 --> 00:07:58,529
Okay, look, that didn't go great,
257
00:07:58,573 --> 00:08:00,575
but we got away, and on the plus side,
258
00:08:00,618 --> 00:08:02,098
no more of the plan hinges on C.J.
259
00:08:02,142 --> 00:08:03,273
Oh, thank God.
260
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,535
He pulled off your mask, Jake.
261
00:08:04,579 --> 00:08:05,500
What if someone saw you?
262
00:08:05,536 --> 00:08:07,321
That's why we have The Vulture.
263
00:08:08,061 --> 00:08:09,366
- Kobe.
- Ow.
264
00:08:09,410 --> 00:08:11,586
[grunts]
265
00:08:11,629 --> 00:08:12,935
Captain Pembroke,
what do you have there?
266
00:08:12,979 --> 00:08:14,763
- Did you find a hair?
- Nice work.
267
00:08:14,806 --> 00:08:16,405
Let's bag it. Let's get it to the lab.
268
00:08:17,244 --> 00:08:18,549
They have my hair?
269
00:08:18,593 --> 00:08:20,247
I thought you put your
two worst guys on this.
270
00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:21,552
These are my worst guys, all right?
271
00:08:21,596 --> 00:08:23,293
They're real dorks.
They both wear glasses.
272
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,599
- One of them's even a woman.
- Ugh.
273
00:08:24,642 --> 00:08:26,209
You said you didn't trust them
to get coffee.
274
00:08:26,253 --> 00:08:28,211
Look, if you can't tell what
"coffee" is code for by now,
275
00:08:28,255 --> 00:08:30,300
then you and I shouldn't
be talking about this, Jake.
276
00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:31,475
Oh, my God.
277
00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:32,999
He put his best detectives on the case.
278
00:08:33,042 --> 00:08:35,131
Hey, my two best detectives
are Sticky and Boner,
279
00:08:35,175 --> 00:08:37,220
and they definitely
know how to order "coffee."
280
00:08:37,264 --> 00:08:38,613
Extra cream. Wink, wink.
281
00:08:38,656 --> 00:08:40,615
Guys, stop fighting. We did it.
282
00:08:40,658 --> 00:08:42,399
Let's just chill and play some "Madden."
283
00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:43,705
No one's playing "Madden" with you, C.J.
284
00:08:43,748 --> 00:08:45,098
- [sighs]
- You know what, Peralta?
285
00:08:45,141 --> 00:08:47,709
This is all your fault.
A witness saw your face
286
00:08:47,752 --> 00:08:49,667
and now there's a police sketch
of you being sent around.
287
00:08:49,711 --> 00:08:51,452
Oh, please.
That doesn't even look like me.
288
00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:52,888
The only thing that got right
is my little curl,
289
00:08:52,932 --> 00:08:53,976
and I can just get rid of that.
290
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:55,412
- Jake, you can't.
- You're right.
291
00:08:55,456 --> 00:08:57,458
- It's worth the risk to keep it.
- This is bad.
292
00:08:57,501 --> 00:08:59,025
- Our plan is collapsing.
- No, it's not.
293
00:08:59,068 --> 00:09:01,592
John Kelly's gonna authorize
the stingray within the hour
294
00:09:01,636 --> 00:09:02,767
and everything'll be fine...
295
00:09:02,811 --> 00:09:04,465
assuming Wuntch gets the bug in place.
296
00:09:04,508 --> 00:09:06,588
- [funky music]
- _
297
00:09:07,163 --> 00:09:09,296
- She's still standing there.
- Oh, since we got time,
298
00:09:09,339 --> 00:09:10,471
you wanna talk about
your good-bye party?
299
00:09:10,514 --> 00:09:11,733
Will you eat a cake,
or does it have to be
300
00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:13,082
- boneless chicken breast?
- Sure.
301
00:09:13,126 --> 00:09:15,219
70-year-old Terry
can eat whatever he wants.
302
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:16,999
You are talking about
my retirement party, right?
303
00:09:17,043 --> 00:09:18,261
20 years from now.
304
00:09:18,305 --> 00:09:19,828
Dude, you know
I'm not talking about that.
305
00:09:19,871 --> 00:09:21,482
What do you think is gonna
happen at the end of the week?
306
00:09:21,525 --> 00:09:23,614
I don't know, but I do know
what's gonna happen right now.
307
00:09:23,658 --> 00:09:24,937
Topic change.
308
00:09:24,973 --> 00:09:27,060
You ever wonder where wind starts?
309
00:09:27,096 --> 00:09:28,880
I have. Wind is crazy.
310
00:09:28,924 --> 00:09:30,795
- You need to face facts.
- About wind?
311
00:09:30,839 --> 00:09:32,536
I'm trying, but you won't engage.
312
00:09:32,580 --> 00:09:34,408
Why you in denial about wind, Rosa?
313
00:09:34,451 --> 00:09:35,500
Commissioner Kelly.
314
00:09:35,844 --> 00:09:37,063
Something's going on with Wuntch.
315
00:09:37,106 --> 00:09:38,803
I heard your app caught a serial killer.
316
00:09:38,847 --> 00:09:40,816
- [chuckles]
- HotClues strikes again.
317
00:09:40,852 --> 00:09:42,394
Yes, indeedy.
318
00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:45,854
♪
319
00:09:45,897 --> 00:09:47,987
What the hell, Raymond?
You were following me?
320
00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:49,292
I don't know what you're talking about.
321
00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:51,033
- I've been here the whole time.
- My mistake.
322
00:09:51,077 --> 00:09:53,166
These two goons were carrying
a dirty old mop
323
00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:54,689
that looked exactly like you.
324
00:09:54,732 --> 00:09:56,046
- What did you do?
- She's up to something.
325
00:09:56,082 --> 00:09:57,170
- [phone dings]
- I'm sure of it.
326
00:09:57,213 --> 00:09:58,693
Hey, it's Kimble and Gerard.
327
00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:00,571
Those nerds found DNA
all over the scene.
328
00:10:00,607 --> 00:10:01,609
Take care of it.
329
00:10:01,652 --> 00:10:02,784
- Now?
- Yes!
330
00:10:02,827 --> 00:10:04,090
You know, I know I just got here,
331
00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:05,308
but it feels like
everything's falling apart.
332
00:10:05,352 --> 00:10:06,744
No, everything's going great, Rosa.
333
00:10:06,788 --> 00:10:08,529
Hey, cool. I'm not the only one
334
00:10:08,572 --> 00:10:09,965
that's in denial. It's catching on.
335
00:10:10,009 --> 00:10:11,575
I'm not in denial.
We've had a few hiccups,
336
00:10:11,619 --> 00:10:13,925
but all that matters is that
Wuntch planted the bug on Kelly.
337
00:10:13,969 --> 00:10:16,058
- No. I didn't.
- What's that now?
338
00:10:16,102 --> 00:10:18,060
You don't trust me, I don't trust you.
339
00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:20,149
The mission is off.
Here's your bug back.
340
00:10:20,193 --> 00:10:22,760
It's not an actual bug,
so don't eat it, you lizard.
341
00:10:22,804 --> 00:10:25,594
Ha! You didn't specify
the subspecies of lizard.
342
00:10:25,630 --> 00:10:26,936
I won that round!
343
00:10:26,972 --> 00:10:28,287
Oh, my God. Will you give it a rest?
344
00:10:30,456 --> 00:10:33,075
Oh, man. I can't believe
this wild ride's over.
345
00:10:33,119 --> 00:10:34,294
We've changed so much.
346
00:10:34,337 --> 00:10:35,947
You know, when we started out,
we were just
347
00:10:35,991 --> 00:10:38,254
Charles the jock, Amy the rebel,
348
00:10:38,298 --> 00:10:41,168
Captain Silly Pants, Talky-talky Rosa,
349
00:10:41,204 --> 00:10:44,260
Terry the stoner,
and C.J. the ringleader.
350
00:10:44,304 --> 00:10:45,566
I'm not sure you're nailing these.
351
00:10:45,609 --> 00:10:47,959
Okay, I smoothed things over
with Madeline,
352
00:10:48,003 --> 00:10:49,787
and she's agreed
to rejoin the Suicide Squad.
353
00:10:49,831 --> 00:10:52,964
Oh, goody gumdrops.
But do we even need her?
354
00:10:53,008 --> 00:10:54,270
What does she bring to the table?
355
00:10:54,314 --> 00:10:56,446
- 30 years of police experience.
- I have 33.
356
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:57,926
I earned a Police Combat Cross.
357
00:10:57,969 --> 00:10:59,101
I have a Medal of Honor.
358
00:10:59,145 --> 00:11:01,277
I own the record for most arrests
359
00:11:01,321 --> 00:11:03,148
as a uniformed officer in NYPD history.
360
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,412
You got me there... of course,
I never spent much time in
361
00:11:05,455 --> 00:11:09,024
uniform because I was promoted
to detective after one month.
362
00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:10,721
They're not allowed to do that.
It's against the rules.
363
00:11:10,765 --> 00:11:12,984
It's also against the rules
to let a pile of worms
364
00:11:13,028 --> 00:11:14,638
wear a uniform, and yet here you stand.
365
00:11:14,682 --> 00:11:16,727
Okay, just stop.
Look, sir, I've explained this.
366
00:11:16,771 --> 00:11:19,078
Wuntch is the only one
that can get close to Kelly.
367
00:11:19,121 --> 00:11:20,553
- We need her.
- Okay.
368
00:11:20,862 --> 00:11:22,429
- The worm pile stays.
- Great.
369
00:11:22,472 --> 00:11:25,084
That was our last obstacle...
except for one other thing,
370
00:11:25,127 --> 00:11:26,302
I promised her that you would apologize
371
00:11:26,346 --> 00:11:27,521
for everything you've ever done to her.
372
00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,610
Including the Michelle Obama incident?
373
00:11:29,653 --> 00:11:31,090
Yes, she mentioned that specifically.
374
00:11:31,133 --> 00:11:32,352
I'm very curious what happened there.
375
00:11:32,395 --> 00:11:34,031
Oh, it's nothing. But fine.
376
00:11:34,919 --> 00:11:38,401
I'm sorry, Madeline, for everything.
377
00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:40,455
- Hey.
- Especially for...
378
00:11:41,839 --> 00:11:43,145
Pushing you into Michelle Obama
379
00:11:43,189 --> 00:11:44,668
from behind and then running away.
380
00:11:44,712 --> 00:11:45,887
- What?
- Sir!
381
00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:48,150
- It was very funny.
- Apology accepted.
382
00:11:48,194 --> 00:11:49,325
There's a Policeman's Ball tonight.
383
00:11:49,369 --> 00:11:51,327
I can plant the bug on Kelly there.
384
00:11:51,371 --> 00:11:53,242
And since you don't trust me,
you can be my plus one.
385
00:11:53,286 --> 00:11:55,810
Oh, please.
Everyone knows we're enemies.
386
00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:57,507
- It would raise suspicions.
- Don't worry.
387
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,466
I know just what to tell people.
388
00:11:59,509 --> 00:12:01,998
Madeline and I are now...
389
00:12:03,078 --> 00:12:04,282
lovers.
390
00:12:04,645 --> 00:12:06,777
So, we can assume Kelly
authorized stingray surveillance
391
00:12:06,821 --> 00:12:09,171
and we missed it, but if we
ratchet up the pressure on him,
392
00:12:09,207 --> 00:12:10,505
we might get another chance.
393
00:12:10,541 --> 00:12:12,116
How do we ratchet up pressure
more than we already have?
394
00:12:12,152 --> 00:12:14,532
By making him believe that
the "kidnappers" are serious,
395
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,047
and that C.J. is in real danger.
396
00:12:16,091 --> 00:12:19,050
Ooh, what if we send Kelly
a severed finger in a box?
397
00:12:19,094 --> 00:12:20,704
No way! I need all my fingers.
398
00:12:20,748 --> 00:12:22,532
How else am I gonna do
the hang ten sign?
399
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:24,055
Nobody's cutting off your fingers.
400
00:12:24,099 --> 00:12:25,709
I meant we would get one
from the morgue.
401
00:12:25,753 --> 00:12:26,734
From the morgue?
402
00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:29,515
Man, we are always getting
into the craziest situations.
403
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,846
If I were leaving this squad,
I'd miss these moments,
404
00:12:31,889 --> 00:12:33,152
but I'm not, so I won't.
405
00:12:33,195 --> 00:12:34,631
Okay, seriously.
What's going on with him?
406
00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:35,719
- It's a whole thing.
- Is it gonna screw up the plan?
407
00:12:35,763 --> 00:12:37,068
It's more quietly self-destructive.
408
00:12:37,112 --> 00:12:38,873
- Sounds good. Terry, do you.
- I have an idea.
409
00:12:39,245 --> 00:12:41,072
So when my dad lost his
flower shop, my Aunt Bruce...
410
00:12:41,116 --> 00:12:42,726
Charles, we don't have time
for a weird Boyle story
411
00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:44,119
right now. Just tell us your idea.
412
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:45,425
We make a scary hostage video
413
00:12:45,468 --> 00:12:46,907
where it looks like
we're gonna kill C.J.
414
00:12:46,943 --> 00:12:48,382
Ooh, I love that. Wait a minute.
415
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,325
Your dad did that
to save his flower shop?
416
00:12:50,361 --> 00:12:51,449
Was your aunt the hostage?
What happened?
417
00:12:51,485 --> 00:12:52,605
You said we didn't have time.
418
00:12:52,642 --> 00:12:53,860
I didn't know it was
the coolest story ever.
419
00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:54,884
Oh, it is.
420
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,101
Well then, tell the whole
thing and spare no detail.
421
00:12:56,137 --> 00:12:57,269
Okay, so you know how Aunt
Bruce can lactate on command?
422
00:12:57,313 --> 00:12:58,792
- Of course.
- Guys.
423
00:12:58,836 --> 00:13:00,446
Yeah, sorry. All right.
So we'll make a hostage video,
424
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:02,523
but I don't think we should do it here.
It's too nice.
425
00:13:02,768 --> 00:13:05,495
Do we know anyone with, like,
a real creepy basement?
426
00:13:05,538 --> 00:13:07,192
Yeah, it's just got
one exposed light bulb
427
00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:08,498
and a couple of spent mattresses.
428
00:13:08,541 --> 00:13:09,941
"Spent"? Oh, yeah.
429
00:13:09,977 --> 00:13:11,326
- That sounds perfect.
- Oh, wait.
430
00:13:11,362 --> 00:13:13,625
Before we decide... Scully,
what's your basement like?
431
00:13:13,661 --> 00:13:15,141
Bunch of old Victorian wallpaper
432
00:13:15,177 --> 00:13:17,266
that came with the house.
I tried to peel it off,
433
00:13:17,302 --> 00:13:18,651
but the wall underneath was covered with
434
00:13:18,687 --> 00:13:20,950
- fingernail scratches.
- BOTH: Ooh.
435
00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:22,650
Hitchcock, can you top it?
436
00:13:22,686 --> 00:13:24,209
Mine has mother's hospital bed.
437
00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:25,689
- Okay, Scully?
- Uh-huh, yeah.
438
00:13:25,732 --> 00:13:28,387
I got this one red door
I've never been able to open
439
00:13:28,431 --> 00:13:30,694
and I hear screams behind it sometimes.
440
00:13:30,737 --> 00:13:33,128
- [ominous music]
- But it's probably just the wind.
441
00:13:34,103 --> 00:13:35,583
Okay, that's actually too scary.
442
00:13:35,619 --> 00:13:36,694
Hitchcock's it is.
443
00:13:37,527 --> 00:13:39,833
How do we get close enough
without attracting attention?
444
00:13:39,877 --> 00:13:42,009
Could dance. You must know some moves.
445
00:13:42,053 --> 00:13:44,360
You were mentioned by name
in the "Monster Mash."
446
00:13:44,403 --> 00:13:46,797
Fine, but on two conditions...
we stay at least
447
00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:49,234
4 inches apart at all times,
and you tuck your tail
448
00:13:49,278 --> 00:13:51,192
back into your pants
so I don't trip on it.
449
00:13:51,236 --> 00:13:52,254
Deal.
450
00:13:53,369 --> 00:13:55,573
My name is Captain Jason Stentley.
451
00:13:56,241 --> 00:13:58,097
It's Friday night... I think.
452
00:13:58,417 --> 00:13:59,976
There's no windows in here.
453
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:03,281
This morning,
I was kidnapped for real...
454
00:14:03,317 --> 00:14:04,423
- Stop.
- What?
455
00:14:04,467 --> 00:14:05,505
What was wrong with that?
456
00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:06,858
You said you were kidnapped "for real."
457
00:14:06,894 --> 00:14:08,395
Well, I don't want people
to think I was fake kidnapped.
458
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:09,563
You know? I'm selling it. [laughs]
459
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,123
Okay, let's just do it again.
460
00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:13,161
Say you were kidnapped and nothing else.
461
00:14:13,197 --> 00:14:15,286
Now he's gonna add "nothing else."
462
00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,077
- She's right.
- Okay, fine, one more time.
463
00:14:17,113 --> 00:14:18,897
Take 12. Just say kidnapped.
464
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:19,969
Okay.
465
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:22,199
- Kidnapped.
- [groans]
466
00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:23,792
You move well.
467
00:14:23,828 --> 00:14:26,352
Must be all the extra legs, you crab.
468
00:14:26,388 --> 00:14:27,867
Don't you find this exhausting?
469
00:14:27,903 --> 00:14:29,296
Thinking of fresh insults?
470
00:14:29,332 --> 00:14:32,030
Not at all, you coffin cave mold beetle.
471
00:14:32,277 --> 00:14:33,539
[dramatic tango music playing]
472
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:35,280
I meant our relationship.
473
00:14:35,324 --> 00:14:36,716
Aren't you tired of the rivalry?
474
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,545
We fight and we fight,
and nothing changes.
475
00:14:39,589 --> 00:14:41,112
But we're really not so different.
476
00:14:41,155 --> 00:14:42,592
I suppose we were close once.
477
00:14:42,635 --> 00:14:44,637
Remember Brighton Beach?
478
00:14:44,681 --> 00:14:47,901
1,200 kilos of heroin
in an abandoned subway tunnel.
479
00:14:47,945 --> 00:14:49,250
How could I forget?
480
00:14:49,294 --> 00:14:51,688
The largest drug bust in NYPD history
481
00:14:51,731 --> 00:14:53,690
pulled off by a most unlikely duo.
482
00:14:53,733 --> 00:14:56,083
A woman, and a gay, black detective.
483
00:14:56,127 --> 00:15:00,174
No, I meant a human and
a rotted jack-o'-lantern.
484
00:15:00,218 --> 00:15:01,187
[piano flourish]
485
00:15:01,223 --> 00:15:02,529
Don't be so hard on yourself.
486
00:15:02,648 --> 00:15:04,819
You weren't
all the way rotted back then.
487
00:15:06,050 --> 00:15:07,399
[gasps] There's John Kelly.
488
00:15:07,443 --> 00:15:09,183
Twirl me into him,
and I'll place the bug.
489
00:15:09,227 --> 00:15:10,750
♪
490
00:15:10,794 --> 00:15:13,536
- Hello, John.
- Right on time, Madeline.
491
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,408
Did Raymond buy it?
Did he think you were bonding?
492
00:15:16,452 --> 00:15:18,541
He was smiling at me like an idiot.
493
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:21,942
You've betrayed us,
you coffin cave mole beetle!
494
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,285
Okay, one more take.
495
00:15:24,329 --> 00:15:26,592
Please stop saying, "Don't
forget to like and subscribe."
496
00:15:26,636 --> 00:15:28,942
Sure, but how we gonna get
followers on this thing then?
497
00:15:28,986 --> 00:15:30,509
- [sighs]
- NYPD!
498
00:15:30,553 --> 00:15:31,945
- NYPD!
- What's going on?
499
00:15:31,989 --> 00:15:33,338
What's going on is you're under arrest
500
00:15:33,382 --> 00:15:35,340
for the kidnapping of Jason Stentley.
501
00:15:35,384 --> 00:15:36,434
Kobe.
502
00:15:37,163 --> 00:15:39,748
But Kobe never passed.
503
00:15:42,258 --> 00:15:44,782
I can't go to prison.
I couldn't even get through
504
00:15:44,826 --> 00:15:45,696
the scary parts of the musical,
"Chicago."
505
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:46,871
Does anyone have a good lawyer?
506
00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:48,264
I got a divorce guy, an alimony guy,
507
00:15:48,308 --> 00:15:50,741
a slip and fall guy,
a pizza's too hot guy...
508
00:15:50,777 --> 00:15:53,650
Everybody just relax.
We're not gonna go to prison.
509
00:15:53,693 --> 00:15:55,304
It's all gonna work out in the end.
510
00:15:55,347 --> 00:15:57,044
- Should we play Celebrity?
- Come on, man.
511
00:15:57,088 --> 00:15:58,481
Yeah, come on, Terry.
No one wants to play Celebrity...
512
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,396
the best game ever made...
but he does have a point.
513
00:16:00,439 --> 00:16:01,962
Nothing bad is gonna happen to us.
514
00:16:02,006 --> 00:16:03,137
Wrong!
515
00:16:03,181 --> 00:16:04,313
You turds are about to get flushed.
516
00:16:04,356 --> 00:16:06,053
Come on, Peralta. You're up first.
517
00:16:06,097 --> 00:16:07,403
- Let's go.
- Oh, cool.
518
00:16:07,446 --> 00:16:09,927
So, I'm the first turd to be flushed.
519
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,668
Bye, you guys. What are you doing?
520
00:16:11,711 --> 00:16:13,713
You were gonna get promoted
out of Missing Persons.
521
00:16:13,757 --> 00:16:15,062
Your plan went to hell, tough guy.
522
00:16:15,106 --> 00:16:16,934
Wuntch... she came to me
with a much better one.
523
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,892
Guess what she's giving me
for betraying you?
524
00:16:18,936 --> 00:16:20,285
My dream job... captain of the...
525
00:16:20,329 --> 00:16:21,547
- 69th precinct.
- Bingo.
526
00:16:21,591 --> 00:16:23,114
Look, you're not gonna
get away with this.
527
00:16:23,157 --> 00:16:24,376
You were a part of the whole thing.
528
00:16:24,420 --> 00:16:25,812
First of all, Jake, there's no records
529
00:16:25,856 --> 00:16:27,161
that you and I teamed up together
530
00:16:27,205 --> 00:16:28,815
because you insisted that
we only communicate
531
00:16:28,859 --> 00:16:30,600
- through a beeper.
- Stupid beepers.
532
00:16:30,643 --> 00:16:32,253
We're right to be addicted
to our phones.
533
00:16:32,297 --> 00:16:34,386
Eyewitness saw you.
The DNA's all over the scene.
534
00:16:34,430 --> 00:16:37,476
And I caught you red-handed
making a hostage video.
535
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:38,869
Your [bleep] is cooked.
536
00:16:38,912 --> 00:16:40,174
That's not a saying. It's "goose."
537
00:16:40,218 --> 00:16:41,350
Who cares about a goose?
538
00:16:41,393 --> 00:16:42,786
I'm talking about cooking a penis.
539
00:16:42,829 --> 00:16:44,004
All right, this is pointless.
540
00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:45,397
C.J. will just tell everyone the truth.
541
00:16:45,441 --> 00:16:47,007
No, he won't. I bought him off.
542
00:16:47,051 --> 00:16:48,400
All I gotta do is play
"Madden" with him.
543
00:16:48,444 --> 00:16:50,184
- Come on, C.J.
- Hey, you know what?
544
00:16:50,228 --> 00:16:51,577
I just beefed hard, so I'm gonna let you
545
00:16:51,621 --> 00:16:54,319
stew in here for a little while.
I am loving it.
546
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:57,008
[laughs] Such a loser.
547
00:16:57,366 --> 00:16:59,193
- [door slams]
- And this is rock bottom.
548
00:16:59,237 --> 00:17:01,065
Oh, Raymond. This is sad.
549
00:17:01,108 --> 00:17:02,675
He's the one you think
of like a son, right?
550
00:17:02,719 --> 00:17:05,156
Or are you closer to Santiago?
Not that it matters.
551
00:17:05,199 --> 00:17:06,462
They're both equally going to prison.
552
00:17:06,505 --> 00:17:08,947
Oh, come on, Madeline.
There's no need to gloat.
553
00:17:09,247 --> 00:17:11,075
[laughing] Though, it does feel good.
554
00:17:11,118 --> 00:17:12,337
Gloaty, gloat, gloat.
555
00:17:12,381 --> 00:17:14,339
I knew I never should have trusted you.
556
00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:17,386
Yes, obviously not, you dum-dum.
557
00:17:17,429 --> 00:17:19,213
John, you're gonna wanna remember this.
558
00:17:19,257 --> 00:17:20,650
Why don't you snap a photo of him?
559
00:17:20,693 --> 00:17:21,588
Oh, yeah.
560
00:17:22,478 --> 00:17:24,044
- [shutter clicks]
- Yeah...[laughs]
561
00:17:24,088 --> 00:17:25,176
Why don't you get in there with him?
562
00:17:25,219 --> 00:17:26,438
Oh, why the heck not?
563
00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:28,397
My kids just got me
a digital picture frame.
564
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,877
All right, everybody say, "Nine-Nine."
565
00:17:30,921 --> 00:17:32,183
- Nine-Nine.
- Mm.
566
00:17:32,226 --> 00:17:34,315
Raymond, I love the scowl,
567
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,230
but could you slump
your shoulders a bit more?
568
00:17:36,274 --> 00:17:38,650
Remember... you're a man
who just lost everything.
569
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,208
- And done.
- [phone jingles]
570
00:17:43,934 --> 00:17:45,979
- We got it, Peralta.
- Boom!
571
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,416
Are they totally shocked?
572
00:17:47,459 --> 00:17:49,243
Is Kelly like, what just happened?
573
00:17:49,287 --> 00:17:51,420
- What just happened?
- You've been had, John.
574
00:17:51,463 --> 00:17:53,639
You see, when you handed me
your own locked phone
575
00:17:53,683 --> 00:17:55,206
just now to snap that photo,
576
00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:57,077
I cloned it to a secure network server.
577
00:17:57,121 --> 00:17:58,601
When you handed Wuntch
your locked phone...
578
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,385
Yeah, yeah. I already said that part.
579
00:18:00,429 --> 00:18:02,213
Sorry. I can't see or hear anything.
580
00:18:02,256 --> 00:18:03,519
I'll just be quiet from now on.
581
00:18:03,562 --> 00:18:04,911
I might chime in with a,
"Yeah!" here and there
582
00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:06,435
- to stay in the mix.
- Great.
583
00:18:06,478 --> 00:18:08,132
The only way to get you
to trust me is if you thought
584
00:18:08,175 --> 00:18:09,829
- I was betraying Holt.
- Yeah!
585
00:18:09,873 --> 00:18:12,484
And now I have access to all
your personal correspondence...
586
00:18:12,528 --> 00:18:13,659
All right!
587
00:18:13,703 --> 00:18:15,269
Including all stingray authorizations.
588
00:18:15,313 --> 00:18:17,446
It's over, Kelly. You're done.
589
00:18:17,489 --> 00:18:18,577
Okay.
590
00:18:18,621 --> 00:18:20,274
You may have won this round, Madeline,
591
00:18:20,318 --> 00:18:22,102
but you're gonna live to regret it.
592
00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:24,583
You are both so gonna live to regret it.
593
00:18:24,627 --> 00:18:26,455
I agree with what was just said.
594
00:18:26,498 --> 00:18:28,195
Hey, Jake?
I'm just gonna hold this down.
595
00:18:28,239 --> 00:18:29,283
Yeah, sounds good. Thank you.
596
00:18:29,327 --> 00:18:30,850
When did you hatch this plan?
597
00:18:30,894 --> 00:18:32,591
Peralta thought of it when
I tried to quit the mission.
598
00:18:32,635 --> 00:18:34,419
Hey, what's Holt's expression right now?
599
00:18:34,463 --> 00:18:36,290
Would you describe it as, proud daddy?
600
00:18:36,334 --> 00:18:37,478
It's hard to tell.
601
00:18:37,514 --> 00:18:39,380
He's still piecing it together.
This could take a while.
602
00:18:39,424 --> 00:18:42,296
Why didn't you just tell me
what was actually happening?
603
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,646
I wanted to, sir,
604
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,604
but it involved
trusting Madeline Wuntch,
605
00:18:45,648 --> 00:18:47,606
and I just didn't think
you could handle it.
606
00:18:47,650 --> 00:18:49,906
But I'm sorry that I lied to you.
607
00:18:51,001 --> 00:18:53,090
Sir? Sir?
608
00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,265
Oh, no. Is he mad?
609
00:18:54,308 --> 00:18:56,354
I can't see anything. Did he storm out?
610
00:18:56,397 --> 00:19:00,010
No, I stormed in...
to tell you it was a great plan.
611
00:19:00,053 --> 00:19:01,446
Nice work, Peralta.
612
00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:04,099
And there it is... the proud daddy.
613
00:19:04,362 --> 00:19:07,104
- _
- Well, well, well. Commissioner.
614
00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:08,627
Still not used to hearing that.
615
00:19:08,671 --> 00:19:10,237
Of course, I'm only acting commissioner
616
00:19:10,281 --> 00:19:11,761
until they choose someone permanent.
617
00:19:11,804 --> 00:19:12,936
Might well be you.
618
00:19:12,979 --> 00:19:15,346
After all, you brought down John Kelly.
619
00:19:15,382 --> 00:19:16,722
Wonder what he's doing now.
620
00:19:16,766 --> 00:19:18,681
He's got a much higher-paying
job in the private sector.
621
00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:21,118
- Yes, the world is horrible.
- Mm.
622
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:23,163
But then again,
sometimes, it surprises you.
623
00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:26,384
This whole time, I thought
you were up to something,
624
00:19:26,427 --> 00:19:29,169
but really, you just wanted
what was right for the NYPD.
625
00:19:29,213 --> 00:19:30,349
I did.
626
00:19:30,997 --> 00:19:33,570
But also, I was up to something.
627
00:19:34,392 --> 00:19:36,046
Could I have everyone's attention?
628
00:19:36,089 --> 00:19:37,526
I know it's my last day,
629
00:19:37,569 --> 00:19:39,906
and I've been in denial
about it all week.
630
00:19:40,691 --> 00:19:41,942
And I still am.
631
00:19:42,226 --> 00:19:44,010
So, I'm giving this toast for no reason.
632
00:19:44,054 --> 00:19:45,229
Here's to nothing! [laughs]
633
00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:46,404
You okay there, Ter?
634
00:19:46,447 --> 00:19:48,227
It's just that, if I wasn't in denial,
635
00:19:48,537 --> 00:19:50,321
I would be so depressed right now
636
00:19:50,364 --> 00:19:52,195
at the thought of leaving all of you.
637
00:19:52,366 --> 00:19:53,949
Yeah, we'd be depressed too...
638
00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:57,110
if anything was happening,
which it isn't.
639
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:59,199
Right, and I'm not gonna say that
640
00:19:59,243 --> 00:20:01,680
no matter what precinct number
is on your uniform,
641
00:20:01,724 --> 00:20:03,682
you will always
be part of the Nine-Nine.
642
00:20:03,726 --> 00:20:06,206
It means so much to me you
aren't saying that right now.
643
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:08,252
And I wanna say
I'm not gonna miss you at all,
644
00:20:08,295 --> 00:20:09,775
you piece of crap. Good riddance.
645
00:20:09,819 --> 00:20:11,560
Pretty sure you're misreading
the game here, Charles.
646
00:20:11,603 --> 00:20:12,952
Yeah. I see that now.
647
00:20:12,996 --> 00:20:14,606
- To nothing.
- ALL: To nothing!
648
00:20:14,650 --> 00:20:17,566
- Thanks, guys, but this sucks.
- Terry, come on.
649
00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:19,089
We're still gonna see you all the time.
650
00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:20,126
I promise.
651
00:20:20,162 --> 00:20:21,732
You'll come visit me in Staten Island?
652
00:20:22,092 --> 00:20:24,010
Yeah! Or, you know,
653
00:20:24,529 --> 00:20:26,792
you can come to Brooklyn.
There's seven of us, one of you,
654
00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:28,402
but we can iron out the details later.
655
00:20:28,446 --> 00:20:29,621
Nobody's going to Staten Island.
656
00:20:29,665 --> 00:20:31,536
Okay, damn, I get it. I'll come to you.
657
00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:33,625
No, you're staying here
at the Nine-Nine.
658
00:20:33,669 --> 00:20:35,279
I just talked to Madeline Wuntch.
659
00:20:35,322 --> 00:20:36,672
She's making a personnel change,
660
00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:38,238
which frees up some room in the budget.
661
00:20:38,282 --> 00:20:40,197
- Really?
- What kind of personnel change?
662
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,199
I told her that I'd only spent a month
663
00:20:42,242 --> 00:20:43,983
as a patrolman before I made detective.
664
00:20:44,027 --> 00:20:45,419
She said that's against regulations
665
00:20:45,463 --> 00:20:49,249
and has decided to
rectify the situation.
666
00:20:49,293 --> 00:20:51,164
Rectify it how?
667
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:54,167
- [whistle blowing]
- _
668
00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,170
[Frank Sinatra's "That's Life"]
669
00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:03,263
♪
670
00:21:03,307 --> 00:21:06,353
- ♪ That's life ♪
- ♪ That's life ♪
671
00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:08,921
♪ That's what all the people say ♪
672
00:21:08,965 --> 00:21:10,749
♪
673
00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:13,926
♪ You're riding high in April ♪
674
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,494
♪ Shot down in May ♪
675
00:21:16,537 --> 00:21:19,802
♪ But I know I'm gonna change ♪
676
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,631
♪ That tune ♪
677
00:21:22,674 --> 00:21:24,110
♪ When I... ♪
678
00:21:24,618 --> 00:21:28,618
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
52118
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