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1
00:00:06,422 --> 00:00:08,424
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
2
00:01:21,455 --> 00:01:22,933
INMATES: (SINGING)
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
3
00:01:22,957 --> 00:01:25,084
Jingle all the way
4
00:01:25,209 --> 00:01:29,130
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open slay, hey!
5
00:01:29,338 --> 00:01:32,717
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
6
00:01:33,217 --> 00:01:38,973
The Batmobile lost a wheel
And the Joker got away!
7
00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:45,896
(JOKER CACKLING)
8
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:56,282
Crashing through the roof
In a one-horse open tree
9
00:01:56,824 --> 00:02:00,995
Busting out I go
Laughing all the wheeeee!
10
00:02:01,078 --> 00:02:02,455
(JOKER LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
11
00:02:06,375 --> 00:02:08,544
ROBIN: Come on, Batman,
it's Christmas Eve.
12
00:02:08,836 --> 00:02:10,880
Let's kick back and get into the spirit.
13
00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:14,425
BATMAN: The Joker's escaped
from Arkham Asylum, Robin.
14
00:02:14,759 --> 00:02:17,845
And you really think he's gonna
make his move on Christmas Eve?
15
00:02:18,095 --> 00:02:20,931
Even scum spend the holidays
with their families.
16
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,267
BATMAN: He has no family.
17
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,895
Okay, I'll make a deal with you.
18
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:30,358
If we go out on patrol, and Gotham
is quiet with no sign of the Joker,
19
00:02:30,691 --> 00:02:35,237
we come back here, have Christmas dinner
and watch It's a Wonderful Life.
20
00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:39,533
You know, I've never seen that.
I could never get past the title.
21
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:41,744
It's a deal, then?
22
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,204
Deal.
23
00:03:00,888 --> 00:03:02,890
(JAZZY CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)
24
00:03:11,982 --> 00:03:13,526
(BELL RINGING)
25
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:14,610
(COINS CLINK)
26
00:03:18,989 --> 00:03:22,118
Doesn't it warm your heart to see
everyone in the spirit of Christmas?
27
00:03:29,291 --> 00:03:31,168
Bah Humbug to you, too.
28
00:03:34,338 --> 00:03:37,675
You just can't believe
there's no use for us for one night.
29
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:41,721
There.
30
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,768
Hey, lady, hold up.
31
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:50,855
You dropped this package
a couple blocks back.
32
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,608
Oh, it's for my grandson.
Thanks so much.
33
00:03:56,026 --> 00:03:57,445
Merry Christmas.
34
00:03:59,363 --> 00:04:00,948
Now can we go home?
35
00:04:04,618 --> 00:04:06,704
He could give lessons
to Scrooge.
36
00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,711
ALFRED: The Christmas goose
will be ready shortly.
37
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:17,840
You know, we really should've done
one more sweep of the city.
38
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:19,842
Now just relax, Bruce.
39
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,636
You're gonna love It's a Wonderful Life.
It's a great movie.
40
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,514
It's not relentlessly cheerful, is it?
41
00:04:26,223 --> 00:04:27,983
DICK: No, it's about how much
of a difference
42
00:04:28,058 --> 00:04:30,019
one man can make to a city.
43
00:04:30,644 --> 00:04:31,645
Sound familiar?
44
00:04:33,481 --> 00:04:35,232
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)
45
00:04:36,984 --> 00:04:39,028
Uh, wrong channel.
46
00:04:39,528 --> 00:04:41,405
Some kind of Christmas special.
47
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,248
ANNOUNCER: It's a Wonderful Life
will not be seen this year.
48
00:04:51,457 --> 00:04:53,334
In its place is the following.
49
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:58,756
Joker here.
Greetings, Gotham, and merry Christmas.
50
00:04:59,173 --> 00:05:03,761
I hope you're watching, Batman.
This one's for you.
51
00:05:03,844 --> 00:05:05,846
(CACKLING)
52
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,651
(PEDESTRIANS SCREAMING)
53
00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:24,156
JOKER:
Live from Gotham City,
54
00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,911
the show that nobody wants to see
but everyone will watch.
55
00:05:39,588 --> 00:05:44,218
Yes, it's Christmas with the Joker!
56
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:50,057
And now, let's welcome our host,
the Clown Prince of Crime,
57
00:05:50,391 --> 00:05:52,101
the Joker!
58
00:05:52,184 --> 00:05:53,227
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
59
00:05:53,310 --> 00:05:55,771
Greetings from Gotham City.
60
00:05:55,855 --> 00:06:00,359
And welcome to the first annual
Christmas with the Joker.
61
00:06:00,442 --> 00:06:01,735
(APPLAUDING CONTINUES)
62
00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:07,950
Oh, thank you, thank you.
Thank you very much.
63
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:09,243
(JOKER CHUCKLES)
64
00:06:09,326 --> 00:06:12,121
Have I got a show for you tonight.
65
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:16,876
It's loaded with surprises
and mystery guests and Christmas jeer.
66
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,628
ROBIN: Well, Batman,
you were sure right about the Joker.
67
00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,297
Any leads?
68
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:25,009
I've accessed Gotham's
electrical mainframe.
69
00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:27,803
And I'm zeroing in on the power surges
70
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,389
to pinpoint the location
of Joker's broadcast signal.
71
00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:32,683
- (BEEPING)
- That's it.
72
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:35,978
I don't know, Batman, it seems too easy.
73
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,147
BATMAN: It's never easy with the Joker.
74
00:06:38,814 --> 00:06:41,650
Oh, Batman, I hope you're watching
75
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:45,446
'cause I've got
a very special surprise for you.
76
00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:51,869
Rumor has it, Christmas is a time
to share with family.
77
00:06:51,952 --> 00:06:54,038
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
78
00:06:54,371 --> 00:06:57,082
And since I don't have one of my own...
79
00:06:57,166 --> 00:06:59,043
AUDIENCE: Aww!
80
00:06:59,668 --> 00:07:02,254
I decided to steal one.
81
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:04,340
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
82
00:07:05,215 --> 00:07:10,137
And here they are,
the awful Lawful family.
83
00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:15,893
Aren't they just the cutest
family you've ever seen?
84
00:07:18,187 --> 00:07:20,397
It's never easy with the Joker.
85
00:07:21,231 --> 00:07:24,026
Meet Daddy Lawful.
86
00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:27,446
You diseased maniac! I'll...
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)
87
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:28,781
Hmm.
88
00:07:28,864 --> 00:07:32,201
Looks like I'll have to teach
Daddy some manners.
89
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,955
And here's Mommy Lawful.
90
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:39,833
(GASPS) Help!
Somebody please help us. We...
91
00:07:39,917 --> 00:07:41,085
(MUFFLED SCREAMS)
92
00:07:41,168 --> 00:07:43,921
Ho, ho, ho. Isn't she jolly?
93
00:07:44,171 --> 00:07:47,967
And here we have little Baby Lawful.
94
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,427
Coochie, coochie, coo.
95
00:07:51,428 --> 00:07:53,931
When I get my hands on you,
I'll rip your...
96
00:07:54,014 --> 00:07:55,015
(MUFFLED SPEAKING)
97
00:07:55,516 --> 00:07:59,728
I'll bet Batman wishes
he had a family just like mine.
98
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:02,314
Personally, I think
relatives are a bore,
99
00:08:02,564 --> 00:08:07,194
so Batman can have them
if he can find them by midnight.
100
00:08:07,277 --> 00:08:08,445
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
101
00:08:08,779 --> 00:08:10,155
Otherwise...
102
00:08:10,239 --> 00:08:11,407
(IMITATES THROAT SLITTING)
103
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,994
(JOKER CACKLING)
104
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,123
Hold tight, we're almost there.
105
00:08:19,623 --> 00:08:23,419
Hi, I'm Laffy,
Joker's helpful little elf.
106
00:08:23,502 --> 00:08:28,215
I'm here to present Batman
with a very special Christmas surprise.
107
00:08:28,298 --> 00:08:30,092
Uh-oh, here it comes.
108
00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:35,431
Gee, Joker, it's sure nice of you
to get Bat Breath a present.
109
00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:38,434
Ho, ho, I'm just that kind of guy.
110
00:08:38,517 --> 00:08:39,852
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
111
00:08:39,935 --> 00:08:43,147
It's an exact replica of Gotham City.
112
00:08:43,897 --> 00:08:47,234
It has everything,
even trains and bridges.
113
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:51,030
Bridges? I just love blowing up bridges.
114
00:08:51,947 --> 00:08:53,490
Well, in that case,
115
00:08:53,574 --> 00:08:57,619
let's go live to Donner and Blitzen
at the President's Bridge.
116
00:08:58,537 --> 00:09:00,205
Greetings, Donner.
117
00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:04,084
How about singing us a merry tune
while you blow up the bridge?
118
00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:05,753
Sure, boss.
119
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:10,466
(SINGING) Jingle Bells, Batman smellsRobin laid an egg
120
00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:23,729
That was great!
121
00:09:23,812 --> 00:09:26,148
The fun has just begun.
122
00:09:26,690 --> 00:09:29,943
The 11:30 train
will be along any minute.
123
00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:33,322
(TIRES SCREECHING)
124
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:36,742
We've gotta stop that train.
125
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,953
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
126
00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:45,209
Oh, look, Laffy, Mommy Lawful
has something to say.
127
00:09:45,834 --> 00:09:47,669
What's up, Mommy?
128
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,546
My mother's on that train.
129
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:53,383
Your mother?
Well, that's different, then.
130
00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:57,429
Yeah, it'll be even
more exciting when it crashes.
131
00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:59,473
(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)
132
00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,823
You uncouple the passenger cars.
I'll get the engineer.
133
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,387
(METAL CREAKING)
134
00:11:05,914 --> 00:11:07,040
The bridge is out. Come on.
135
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:33,317
Bah Humbug.
I hate Batman and Robin.
136
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:35,652
Then let's get rid of them.
137
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,076
Oh, boy, let's build a snowman.
138
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,537
(CACKLING)
139
00:11:47,331 --> 00:11:49,208
We've isolated
the Joker's broadcast signal.
140
00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:51,793
It's coming from the observatory
on Mount Gotham.
141
00:12:06,141 --> 00:12:08,143
BATMAN: There, the radar antenna.
142
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:09,645
ROBIN: What's that?
143
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:14,816
Careful, Robin. I'm sure there's
more to this than meets the eye.
144
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:15,901
(RUSTLING)
145
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,781
JOKER: Merry Christmas, Batman.
146
00:12:20,864 --> 00:12:23,408
I'm so glad you could join us.
147
00:12:24,284 --> 00:12:25,619
What's your game, Joker?
148
00:12:25,994 --> 00:12:29,665
JOKER: Oh, just a little holiday
entertainment, Batman.
149
00:12:30,165 --> 00:12:34,586
I'm sure all the folks at home will
enjoy sharing this special occasion.
150
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:40,342
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
live from the top of Mount Gotham,
151
00:12:40,425 --> 00:12:43,512
the death of Batman.
152
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:56,525
When you care enough
to send the very blast.
153
00:12:56,900 --> 00:13:02,698
We'll return in just a moment,
but first a word from our sponsor.
154
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,920
Robin, try and get inside
the observatory.
155
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:18,422
I'll draw its fire.
156
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:34,563
Whoops. Looks like we're experiencing
technical difficulty.
157
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,983
But don't worry, folks,
we're still on the air.
158
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:42,571
Oh, no! Our cannon seems
to be out of control.
159
00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:46,283
Gotham City could be in serious danger.
160
00:13:47,451 --> 00:13:49,286
(TIRES SCREECHING)
161
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,248
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
162
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:06,428
(JOKERS CACKLING)
163
00:14:24,571 --> 00:14:26,198
Batman, Robin here.
164
00:14:32,829 --> 00:14:35,540
Robin, Operation Cause and Effect.
165
00:14:36,708 --> 00:14:37,709
Gotcha.
166
00:14:57,562 --> 00:14:58,563
Batman?
167
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:02,109
I'm fine. But we're not any closer
to finding Joker's hideout.
168
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,735
What's our next move?
169
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:06,905
To be quite honest, I don't know.
170
00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:15,247
Batman, it's almost midnight.
We have to do something.
171
00:15:15,580 --> 00:15:19,626
It's up to the Joker now.
Only a miracle can save the hostages.
172
00:15:20,043 --> 00:15:23,547
JOKER: Arrgh! Where's that Bat fella?
And that Robin fella?
173
00:15:23,630 --> 00:15:25,424
Ooh, they're gonna spoil my Christmas.
174
00:15:25,507 --> 00:15:28,927
What's the matter? Can't they figure
anything out? Time's up.
175
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,596
I'm rubbing everybody out at midnight.
176
00:15:32,597 --> 00:15:36,143
But wait, we have
another present to open.
177
00:15:37,060 --> 00:15:40,230
Let's not keep Mommy Lawful waiting.
178
00:15:41,314 --> 00:15:44,651
Too bad Batman is such a party pooper.
179
00:15:45,193 --> 00:15:47,195
Maybe he doesn't know how to get here.
180
00:15:47,487 --> 00:15:50,031
All dressed up with nowhere to go.
181
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:56,496
Well, I wonder what Mommy Lawful
is getting for Christmas.
182
00:15:57,330 --> 00:16:00,542
Ooh! The suspense is killing me.
183
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:07,966
Is it? Can it be? Oh, yes!
It's a Betty Blooper doll.
184
00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:12,262
And what do Better Blooper dolls do?
185
00:16:12,596 --> 00:16:15,265
Why, you just wind them up...
186
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:20,228
And they wreak havoc on Gotham City.
187
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,689
(CACKLING)
188
00:16:24,608 --> 00:16:26,818
I haven't seen
one of those dolls in years.
189
00:16:27,068 --> 00:16:29,029
They don't make dolls like that anymore,
190
00:16:29,362 --> 00:16:34,117
not since the Laffco toy factory
went out of business 14 years ago.
191
00:16:35,410 --> 00:16:36,953
Third and Main, downtown.
192
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,637
(TIRES SCREECHING)
193
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:13,615
Look sharp, Robin.
194
00:17:14,491 --> 00:17:16,409
(LAUGHING)
195
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,128
(CLASSICAL CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING)
196
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:34,803
Where's that music coming from?
197
00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:36,429
Good question.
198
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:38,223
(CACKLING)
199
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:47,274
BATMAN: Look out!
200
00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:12,257
Stand ready. More on the way.
201
00:18:21,182 --> 00:18:22,183
Stand clear, Robin.
202
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:44,706
They don't call you
"Batman" for nothing.
203
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,001
(GUN COCKS)
204
00:18:48,209 --> 00:18:49,210
Snipers!
205
00:19:09,105 --> 00:19:10,273
Where'd he go?
206
00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,026
There he is.
207
00:19:21,743 --> 00:19:22,952
- Huh?
- What?
208
00:19:24,954 --> 00:19:26,039
Look out!
209
00:19:26,122 --> 00:19:27,457
BOTH: Whoa!
210
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,710
TEDDY: I love you very much.
211
00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:37,133
Keep your eyes open for the Joker.
212
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,970
I'll save you the trouble, Batman.
213
00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:46,017
Come and get your Christmas present,
or the kiddies get it.
214
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:50,271
Let them go, Joker. It's me you want.
215
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,817
Merry Christmas, Batman.
216
00:19:57,362 --> 00:20:00,699
Well, go on, open it.
217
00:20:03,201 --> 00:20:04,577
Don't do it, Batman!
218
00:20:04,994 --> 00:20:06,162
Easy, Robin.
219
00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:15,755
(JOKER CACKLING)
220
00:20:21,177 --> 00:20:23,096
JOKER: Oh, I can't stand it.
221
00:20:38,194 --> 00:20:39,571
Robin, take care of 'em.
222
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:44,284
(JOKER GROANS)
223
00:20:45,910 --> 00:20:47,454
(JOKER LAUGHS)
224
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:52,041
Run, run as fast as you can.
You'll not catch me, I'm the Joker man.
225
00:20:52,917 --> 00:20:54,252
(JOKER YELPING)
226
00:20:58,882 --> 00:21:00,133
(GASPS)
227
00:21:03,762 --> 00:21:05,221
Merry Christmas, Joker.
228
00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,682
Bah Humbug.
229
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:18,693
It was nice of Commissioner Gordon
230
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:21,780
to give you that recording
of It's a Wonderful Life.
231
00:21:22,322 --> 00:21:24,449
And it is a wonderful life.
232
00:21:25,074 --> 00:21:27,786
It has its moments.
233
00:21:28,745 --> 00:21:30,246
(BELL TOLLING)
234
00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,127
(CHRISTMAS CAROL PLAYING)
235
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:39,506
(SINGING)
Don we now our gay apparel
236
00:21:39,589 --> 00:21:42,383
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
237
00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:45,303
(CACKLING)
238
00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:50,850
Merry Christmas.
239
00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:56,981
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
17852
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