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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,347 3:58! 2 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:20,452 Angela, can I get some help? 3 00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:23,288 Can't. 3:58! 4 00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,257 Angela, a little help over here? 5 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,291 3:58, damn it! 6 00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:57,289 You win again, Shapiro. 7 00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,663 Really? 8 00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,498 You watch that monkey lawyer show? 9 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,700 Juanita, the monkey is not a lawyer. 10 00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:10,269 That would be ridiculous. 11 00:01:10,271 --> 00:01:13,238 He's a paralegal. 12 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:20,240 Corrections by honeybunny Sync www.addic7ed.com 13 00:01:23,485 --> 00:01:27,385 1x08 Wingmen 14 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,288 George! Hey, George! 15 00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,424 Hey, I've been calling your name for, like, half a block, man. 16 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,660 Sorry. Headphones. 17 00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,161 Blocks out the whole city. 18 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,163 Mornings are my me time. 19 00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:39,798 Whatcha doing tonight? 20 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,867 Because down at O'Dooley's, they have this thing 21 00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,469 called trivia night, where you team up 22 00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,170 and answer questions in different categories. 23 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,772 I'm an adult male in 2012, Doug. 24 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,507 I understand the concept of trivia night. 25 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:49,779 Yeah. Right. Yeah. Duh. 26 00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:52,183 Just, I thought maybe we could check it out together. 27 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,680 There's always lots of good-looking girls down there. 28 00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:56,281 Maybe we could wingman for each other. 29 00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,417 Doug, there are no wingmen in the animal kingdom. 30 00:01:58,419 --> 00:01:59,618 What about coyotes? 31 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:01,253 They are always hunting in pairs 32 00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:02,754 when they're bringing down a deer. 33 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,289 Yes, but the coyotes are going to kill the dear, 34 00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,825 not have awkward morning-after breakfast with it. 35 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,828 - All I'm saying is I-- - Rizzo, headphones. 36 00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:17,236 Okay, so last night after much deliberation 37 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,804 and a healthy amount of pink wine, 38 00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:20,772 I finally settled on the name of my pet pig. 39 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,808 Ready? Babe! 40 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:25,177 Oh, yeah. 41 00:02:25,179 --> 00:02:27,146 After Babe Didrikson, the female golfer? 42 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,248 I love it. 43 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,316 No, after Babe from the movie. 44 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,152 Yeah, The Babe Didrikson Story. 45 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,362 No, it's about a pig. 46 00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,098 It came out 15 years ago. It was a huge hit. 47 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:39,291 Are you seriously telling me you've never heard of Babe? 48 00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:42,327 It is not my fault. My wife kept a strictly Michael bay household. 49 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,163 Okay, you know what, we are fixing this tonight. 50 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:46,298 Movie night, my place. Who's in? 51 00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,699 - Ooh, this girl! - This girl! 52 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:49,468 This girl! 53 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,606 Sabrina. 54 00:02:54,608 --> 00:02:57,709 This is the third time Horatio has been in this month. 55 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,345 And you always take such good care of him. 56 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,881 It seems he has elevated levels of Theobromine. 57 00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,251 Now, this indicates he must have ingested chocolate, 58 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:07,920 which is highly toxic to birds. 59 00:03:07,922 --> 00:03:10,322 My poor Horatio. Will he be all right? 60 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,691 We should keep him overnight for examination. 61 00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,326 But do you have any idea 62 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,928 how Horatio could have eaten chocolate? 63 00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,963 I do let him fly freely around the townhouse, 64 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,798 so it's possible he got into something. 65 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,533 He should be back to his old self in no time, 66 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,203 but no more chocolate. 67 00:03:24,205 --> 00:03:25,504 This will never happen again. 68 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:30,409 You know, it's funny. I remember when I first got Horatio 16 years ago. 69 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:33,812 It was raining that day-- no, it wasn't raining. 70 00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:36,682 It was just overcast, yes, I remember because. 71 00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:38,917 - I was wearing my raincoat... - Thanks, buddy. 72 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,354 Oh, my gosh. 73 00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:43,922 Who is the hottie in the exam room? 74 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,925 Oh, if you think she's hot, you haven't seen Cloris Leachman 75 00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,293 on the cover of Redbook. 76 00:03:48,295 --> 00:03:50,762 Oh, my God. It's that Tinsley girl. 77 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,331 I seen her on page six. 78 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,299 She's the heiress to all that French mustard money. 79 00:03:54,301 --> 00:03:56,335 Oh. 80 00:03:56,337 --> 00:03:58,237 Sabrina said her granddaughter was coming to pick her up, 81 00:03:58,239 --> 00:03:59,638 but she's so old, I calculated 82 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,607 the hotness potential for the granddaughter to be 83 00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,375 somewhere around present-day Barbara Hershey. 84 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:05,811 Well, your scale is busted, bro, 85 00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:08,847 because that girl is bangin'. 86 00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:11,016 Whoa, what are you-- what are you doing? 87 00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:12,985 Going to talk to the owner of one of my patients. 88 00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,319 No, no, you're not. I saw her first. 89 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:15,687 - I should have dibs. - Dibs? 90 00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,289 - Yeah. - She's a woman, Doug. 91 00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:19,725 Not the last ice cream sandwich. 92 00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:20,702 Ah! 93 00:04:20,703 --> 00:04:22,337 You really think you have a chance against me? 94 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,528 Oh, I think me and my banjo 95 00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:25,297 stand a pretty good chance, yeah. 96 00:04:25,299 --> 00:04:26,999 You're not-- 97 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:29,268 Bye. - See ya. 98 00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:30,636 - George! - Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 99 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:32,304 Now, you can stop all the man hugging. 100 00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:33,438 She's gone. 101 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,474 What? Well, that's great. 102 00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:38,010 That was stupid--now neither one of us gets her number. 103 00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,544 Oh, don't worry, she'll be back... 104 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:41,313 And you can wrestle for her love again tomorrow. 105 00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:43,015 - We're not gonna do that. - We're not? 106 00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:44,449 No, because I care about our friendship, 107 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,852 I'm not gonna let a woman come between us. 108 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:48,487 Tinsley should be off limits, agreed? 109 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,988 Yes, agreed. I like it. 110 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,990 Bros before hos. Men before hen. 111 00:04:51,992 --> 00:04:54,059 Docs before box. 112 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,861 Yeah. 113 00:04:57,563 --> 00:05:00,032 We may have lost it on the first go around. 114 00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:04,536 We're gonna win this thing on appeal. 115 00:05:05,706 --> 00:05:08,640 Not that kind of a peel. 116 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,512 See, I watch the show for the drama, 117 00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:16,048 but the banter is the frosting on the cupcake. 118 00:05:16,050 --> 00:05:17,683 Hey, is this that monkey lawyer show? 119 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,651 It's called Law of the Jungle, 120 00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,553 and, yes, there's a monkey in it, 121 00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:24,089 but what it's really about is the human relationships. 122 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:27,092 Ugh! What happened? 123 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,093 Oh, the cable went out! 124 00:05:28,095 --> 00:05:30,862 I swear, if I don't find out 125 00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,498 who murdered the D.A., I will freak out! 126 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:37,502 Maybe you should pick up a book. 127 00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,737 N-- 128 00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,038 Get out of here! 129 00:05:45,479 --> 00:05:46,712 You know what? 130 00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,013 That's probably overkill. 131 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,614 Ah! 132 00:05:49,616 --> 00:05:52,584 - Hey, Yamamoto, come on in. - Hi. 133 00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,486 Um, Angela's not gonna make it. 134 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,355 There was a cable emergency at the hospital. 135 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,723 Oh. Bummer. 136 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:58,790 Juanita should be here soon. 137 00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,025 Speak of the devil. 138 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,060 Okay. He has horns, he likes fire. 139 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,062 Ancient Mexicans referred to him as El Diablo. 140 00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:05,831 No, I meant that it was Juanita. 141 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,633 Oh, man, she's not gonna be able to make it either. 142 00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,102 Oh. Do you wanna cancel then? 143 00:06:10,104 --> 00:06:12,371 No, no, no, no, stay. We'll have fun. 144 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,005 Oh, good, 'cause I saw the trailer on YouTube, 145 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,741 and I've been perfecting my Babe impression. 146 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,677 "La la la. 147 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,712 I want my mother." 148 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,481 We're laughing! 149 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,683 "La la la." 150 00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,151 Can I have a cupcake? I'm really hungry. 151 00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,486 - Yeah. - Okay. 152 00:06:30,089 --> 00:06:33,091 You, uh, sure know your way around a cable box. 153 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:34,159 I should. 154 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,827 I'm a third-generation cable man. 155 00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:38,397 Wanted to be a doctor, but my father wouldn't hear of it. 156 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,432 - Oh, that's a shame. - Yeah. 157 00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:42,167 Oh, whoops! 158 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:45,070 Allow me. 159 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,039 Now that's what I call hi-def. 160 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,876 - I'm Angela, by the way. - Oh, I'm Gary. 161 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,645 So you got something special you wanted to watch? 162 00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:55,046 Oh, it's just a silly little show. 163 00:06:55,048 --> 00:06:56,715 Law of the Jungle, I don't know-- 164 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:57,749 L.O.T.J.? 165 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,017 - It's the best. - Yeah. 166 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,719 I mean, sure, it's got a monkey in it, 167 00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:01,720 but it's really... 168 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,155 About the relationships! 169 00:07:03,157 --> 00:07:04,589 I'm always saying that. 170 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,725 Yeah, me too. 171 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,859 Yeah, this is Gary. 172 00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:09,194 Cable outage, Tribeca? 173 00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:11,163 Gary's on it. 174 00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,164 - Here you go. - Thank you so much. 175 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:15,033 - Yeah. Bye. - Take care. Bye. 176 00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,068 Oh. 177 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:21,173 Sign me up for the full package, Rizzo. 178 00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:25,844 My grandmother loves this bird and this hospital. 179 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,712 Thank you for your help, Dr. Coleman. 180 00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:30,482 Please, please, call me George. 181 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,617 And, uh, if you don't mind, 182 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,187 I'd like to call you for dinner. Tonight? 183 00:07:35,189 --> 00:07:39,024 Oh, that's sweet, but I already have a date tonight. 184 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,225 Bye, Doug. 185 00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:44,062 See you tonight, Tinsley. 186 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,064 I'm sorry, man, I had to do it. 187 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:47,132 No, no, that's all right. 188 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,133 I have to do this. 189 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,569 Noaww! 190 00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:54,873 That was such a good one. 191 00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,476 So are we still on for a dinner and movie tonight? 192 00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,212 Uh, yeah, meatloaf and Mommy Dearest at 8:00. 193 00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:03,682 No wire hangers! 194 00:08:03,684 --> 00:08:06,551 So you and yams are getting along pretty good, huh? 195 00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:09,020 We're getting our movie on in a pretty significant manner. 196 00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,689 Oh, that's so cute. 197 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:11,857 He thinks you're his girlfriend. 198 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:14,059 His--seriously? 199 00:08:14,061 --> 00:08:16,661 - What would give you that idea? - Because he said, "Dorothy and I 200 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,630 - "are boyfriend and girlfriend." - What? 201 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,532 You haven't noticed how he's been acting around you? 202 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,534 Hey, girlfriend. 203 00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,636 Spaghetti's ready, girlfriend. 204 00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:26,538 You're so tense, girlfriend. 205 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,039 Oh, my God. 206 00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,608 I thought he was just being sassy. 207 00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,009 What did you expect, huh? 208 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,944 The man just got out of a marriage; He's vulnerable. 209 00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:34,779 And you keep inviting him over to watch movies. 210 00:08:34,781 --> 00:08:36,281 Oh, no, I thought we were 211 00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,116 just two friends watching The Notebook. 212 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,719 Well, congratulations, you are officially in a relationship. 213 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,988 At least according to Yamamoto's Facebook page. 214 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,589 Like. 215 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,191 Huh? I'm a romantic. 216 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,660 - That's a great picture of you. - No. Seriously. 217 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,596 So how does Horatio seem to you? 218 00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,900 Good, although I am concerned that he's back again. 219 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:57,569 So what is your granddaughter's deal exactly? 220 00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:58,670 I don't know what you mean. 221 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,772 Has she always gone for hirsute men? 222 00:09:00,774 --> 00:09:03,041 Is her father perhaps a lumberjack? 223 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,209 I don't understand you. 224 00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,177 Her father was a Princeton man. 225 00:09:06,179 --> 00:09:08,046 Horatio's Theobromine levels are high. 226 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,181 - He's had chocolate again. - That's impossible. 227 00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,551 I had the staff sweep the whole townhouse 228 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,219 and remove anything containing chocolate. 229 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,655 Could anyone be giving your cockatoo chocolate? 230 00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,858 - No, who would do that? - Well, he's getting it somehow. 231 00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:23,862 But seriously, your granddaughter, is this like some sort of performance art? 232 00:09:23,864 --> 00:09:28,300 Your honor, I would like to call a surprise witness. 233 00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:32,137 Shapiro. 234 00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,150 Come on, Rizzo, Gary just called, and he's downstairs. 235 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:46,618 You gotta take one for the team! 236 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,654 Look, when he gets here, he'll plug it back in, 237 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:50,822 I'll get his phone number, 238 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,891 and we'll be back to watching in no time. 239 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,728 I am so embarrassed. 240 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,331 A malfunction one day post-repair? 241 00:09:59,333 --> 00:10:01,232 I swear, this has never happened to me before. 242 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:02,968 God, stupid Gary! 243 00:10:02,970 --> 00:10:05,637 - Stupid, stupid-- - No, no, don't sweat it. 244 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,139 Although I bet you sweat well. 245 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:11,710 What? I don't know. 246 00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,012 Oh... 247 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:18,149 That--it looks like it's working again. 248 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:19,784 I guess I'll be off then. 249 00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:22,153 Wait, what's your rush? How about some popcorn? 250 00:10:22,155 --> 00:10:23,388 Beer? We have HBO. 251 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,023 - You're not supposed to. - Ah. 252 00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,157 In the future when you call, 253 00:10:26,159 --> 00:10:27,626 make sure something's really wrong. 254 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,828 Every minute that I'm here, another subscriber 255 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:32,197 decides to start watching TV on the Internet. 256 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:35,000 Never used it, never will. Take care. 257 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:41,806 When did you stop believing in love, Rizzo? 258 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,980 Your honor, I object! 259 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:53,151 Order! Order! Order! 260 00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,429 What's cooking, good-looking? 261 00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,131 Um, we need to talk. 262 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,666 Hold on. 263 00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,900 I was gonna bring this over tonight, 264 00:11:08,902 --> 00:11:10,168 but it just can't wait. 265 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,703 What's this? 266 00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:13,738 - Oh... - It was my grandmother's. 267 00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:15,073 She doesn't know it's missing. 268 00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:18,209 - Yamamoto, no, I, um-- - You're overwhelmed! 269 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,145 And so am I. 270 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:23,081 Here we are, just two kids having fun, 271 00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,416 trying to make sense of our feelings. 272 00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:27,352 Feelings of mutual, professional respect? 273 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:29,320 I like funny women. 274 00:11:29,322 --> 00:11:30,989 And nice women. 275 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:33,091 You never yell at me, you let me eat my snacks. 276 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,959 You're so much nicer than my wife. 277 00:11:34,961 --> 00:11:35,960 She broke my heart. Um- 278 00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,862 But piece by piece, 279 00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,698 you're putting it back together. 280 00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,933 You make me feel safe. 281 00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,868 Uh...oh. 282 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,100 Thanks, girlfriend. 283 00:11:46,101 --> 00:11:48,325 You know, I don't wanna jinx it or anything, 284 00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,974 but I think Tinsley might be the one. 285 00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:51,443 Oh, please, you've known her for a week. 286 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:54,412 Okay, well, maybe not "the one," but she's "a one." 287 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:58,316 As interesting as your romantic prognostications may be, 288 00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:00,118 I'm preparing for surgery right now. 289 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,454 Oh, all right, man, I get it, I'm sorry. 290 00:12:02,456 --> 00:12:04,723 This--this has gotta be difficult for you. 291 00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,257 - What are you talking about? - Being all happy, 292 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,193 talking about Tinsley when you wanted to date her too. 293 00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:09,461 I mean, I'm a moron. Sorry. 294 00:12:09,463 --> 00:12:11,162 I don't care that you're dating Tinsley. 295 00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:14,065 Obviously, beauty found her beast. 296 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:15,900 Oh. Oh, yeah, that's one way of looking at it. 297 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,902 Oh, and you probably just found out 298 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,370 about Dorothy dating Yamamoto. 299 00:12:19,372 --> 00:12:21,773 - What? - Yeah, I know. Right? 300 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,475 He says they're boyfriend-girlfriend. 301 00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:25,009 To go from you to Yamamoto, 302 00:12:25,011 --> 00:12:26,778 she's gotta be going through something-- 303 00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:28,947 Doug, I don't know what game you're playing, 304 00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:32,417 but I do know that I am absolutely, 100% fine with you 305 00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:35,320 dating a rich, spoiled socialite like Tinsley. 306 00:12:35,322 --> 00:12:36,521 Hold on there, buddy. 307 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:38,389 She is not that spoiled, all right? 308 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,791 She's not even that rich. 309 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:42,427 Matter of fact, her grandmother's giving all that mustard money to the cockatoo. 310 00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:45,764 Tinsley is not gonna see a dime. 311 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:47,499 Wait a minute, the bird 312 00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:49,067 is getting all the old lady's money? 313 00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,401 Yeah, it's crazy, I know. 314 00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,204 If I was her, I'd be super-pissed. 315 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,506 It's her. 316 00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:56,374 Huh? What are you talking about now? 317 00:12:56,376 --> 00:12:59,177 Tinsley is poisoning Horatio, 318 00:12:59,179 --> 00:13:01,412 so she can get her grandmother's inheritance. 319 00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:03,515 Oh, George, please. 320 00:13:03,517 --> 00:13:05,416 I think things with mustard girl 321 00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:09,988 are about to get a little spicy. 322 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:13,992 I knew something was wrong with her. 323 00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,160 I mean, she picked you over me. 324 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:18,196 Hey, my girlfriend is not poisoning her grandmother's bird. 325 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,464 Will you stop saying "girlfriend"? 326 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,999 You've been out with her, like, three times. 327 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,100 - Jealous. - Jealous? 328 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,102 Jealous? I'm jealous of the guy 329 00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,037 who swoops in after we made a gentlemen's agreement 330 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,773 - that she was off limits. - She told me you asked her out too. 331 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:30,441 She'll say anything. 332 00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,143 She's a delusional bird murderer. 333 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,912 - Hey-- - Look, this is about facts. 334 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,047 Fact: Someone is feeding the cockatoo chocolate. 335 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:39,184 Fact: Tinsley has unlimited access to the cockatoo. 336 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,219 Fact: Tinsley is the only person 337 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,021 who has the motive to get rid of it. 338 00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:45,557 Fact: You...suck! 339 00:13:47,126 --> 00:13:48,126 - Hey. - Huh? 340 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,461 Are you dating Yamamoto? 341 00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:53,131 No! Well, I don't know. 342 00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,099 It's complicated! 343 00:13:55,101 --> 00:13:57,035 Juanita. 344 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,139 Why are you wearing a big, pimped out bug on your dress? 345 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,208 Shh. 346 00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:06,144 It's from Yamamoto. 347 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,012 You were right. He thinks that we're a couple. 348 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:09,380 What if I can never break up with him? 349 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,082 What if I have to marry him and have kids with him? 350 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:12,450 I mean, sure, half-Asian babies are like 351 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:13,985 the Tyson Beckford of babies, 352 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,054 but I was not meant to be Dorothy Yamamoto, okay? 353 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,455 I was meant to be Dorothy Iglesias. 354 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,023 - Enrique? - No, Julio. 355 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,124 Respect. 356 00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,359 Juanita, what do I do? 357 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:23,328 Well, fortunately, I happen to be an expert 358 00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:24,562 in all matters of the heart. 359 00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:26,030 - Okay. - I've got you. 360 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:27,365 - All right, thank you. - All right. Relax. 361 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,067 Okay. 362 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:33,037 Hi. 363 00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,339 I love your highlights, 364 00:14:34,341 --> 00:14:36,541 but I especially love your lowlights. 365 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,877 Actually, your lowlights kind of are the highlights. 366 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,381 Oh. If you're done getting beard burn, 367 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,342 I just got Horatio's latest blood work back. 368 00:14:46,343 --> 00:14:47,402 Where's Sabrina? 369 00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:50,905 She's waiting for Horatio in the pathology lab. 370 00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:52,357 Sorry, I just got a little woozy. 371 00:14:52,359 --> 00:14:54,893 Tinsley, do you happen to have any chocolate on you? 372 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,361 - Sorry. No. - Yeah? You sure? 373 00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:57,495 I don't do chocolate. 374 00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:58,496 Because I'm a diabetic. 375 00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,064 My blood sugar's really low. 376 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:02,033 - I have some Tic Tacs. - I don't want Tic Tacs! 377 00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,277 - Where's the chocolate? - I'll run and get you some orange juice. 378 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,604 Mm-hmm, that's a great idea, Tinsley. Thank you. 379 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:09,908 Oh... 380 00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:11,943 Oh ho ho! Oh, bravo. 381 00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,345 Impressive performance, George. 382 00:15:14,347 --> 00:15:16,147 I told you, she's not the one poisoning the bird. 383 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,016 Well, I'm not giving up that easily. 384 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,984 You know, you really should 385 00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,920 have taken her up on that Tic Tac. 386 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:24,088 Easy for you to judge. 387 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:27,992 Your son's still alive! 388 00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:30,995 What are you doing? 389 00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:35,099 No, no, no, I can quit any time! 390 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,204 No. 391 00:15:40,206 --> 00:15:43,007 I'm sorry, Rizzo. It's just too depressing. 392 00:15:43,009 --> 00:15:46,544 I can't watch this show anymore without thinking of Gary. 393 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,113 Not to mention his goldilocks ass. 394 00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:54,118 Not too big, not too small, just right. 395 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,120 I think I'm gonna go and think 396 00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:59,424 about all the good times Gary and I had. 397 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:08,066 Oh. 398 00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,101 Rizzo! In the middle of your show. 399 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:11,102 Thanks, buddy. 400 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,671 I'm calling Gary now. 401 00:16:20,012 --> 00:16:21,612 ♪ Her lowlights are the highlights ♪ 402 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:24,515 Okay, I got her purse. 403 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:27,051 - Whose? - Tinsley's! 404 00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:31,155 Are you insane? She just told you she doesn't do chocolate, man. 405 00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:33,358 I think she does. I think she does lots and lots of chocolate. 406 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,759 Open her purse. Prove me wrong. 407 00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:35,760 I already know you're wrong. 408 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:36,591 - Do ya? - Yep. 409 00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,729 If there's no chocolate in there, I'll stop. 410 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:42,292 You can canoodle with the non-cockatoo-poisoning socialite 411 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,235 - in peace. - No, I'm not gonna do that. 412 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:46,037 - Then I will. - No, George, you're not do-- 413 00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,605 put the pur-- 414 00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,440 Chocolate! 415 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,775 - Nah! - Oh, my God. 416 00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,143 Oh, my sweet, sweet Tinsley. 417 00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,745 What do you think you're doing? 418 00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:54,945 Ah! Mystery solved. 419 00:16:54,965 --> 00:16:57,033 How could you poison your grandmother's bird? 420 00:16:57,117 --> 00:16:58,449 What are you talking about? 421 00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:00,518 I'm talking about chocolate, lady. 422 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,020 Lots and lots of chocolate. 423 00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,221 Way too much chocolate 424 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,089 for someone who doesn't do chocolate. 425 00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:08,659 You idiot, that's my grandmother's purse! 426 00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,261 Okay, listen. Some things were said-- 427 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,296 You actually thought I would try to poison 428 00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,098 my grandmother's bird? 429 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:15,733 We're over! 430 00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,302 Aha! Mystery solved! 431 00:17:18,304 --> 00:17:19,771 It was Sabrina. Good work. Good work. 432 00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:21,072 Tinsley, wait, wait, wait, wait. 433 00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:23,641 I'm so, so sorry. 434 00:17:23,643 --> 00:17:26,077 I just gave him a little, not enough to really hurt him. 435 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:29,723 Many people took such good care of us every time we came in. 436 00:17:29,724 --> 00:17:31,758 I just wanted a reason to keep coming back. 437 00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:34,640 Munchausen by proxy! Of course. 438 00:17:34,902 --> 00:17:38,538 You were making Horatio sick in order to bask in the attention 439 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,091 that the hospital gave you. 440 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:41,492 Well, yes, that's what I just said. 441 00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:44,162 You know I can't let you leave with Horatio. 442 00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:45,296 I won't do it again. 443 00:17:45,298 --> 00:17:46,731 Please don't take him from me. 444 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:48,733 Tell you what I'll do. I'll release him to Tinsley, 445 00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,768 and then you can see him 446 00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:52,403 - whenever you want. - Thank you. 447 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,473 And if you ever get lonely, you can always just come and visit us. 448 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:58,142 Not me, but, you know, there's a woman named Dorothy here 449 00:17:58,144 --> 00:17:59,811 who won't stop talking. 450 00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,270 - Hey, Yamamoto. - Hey. 451 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:07,852 I got our next meal and movie: Spaghetti and meatballs and Meatballs. 452 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,621 Aha! I knew I'd find you in here. 453 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,090 That's right, we're together. 454 00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,124 You got a problem with that? 455 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,859 Oh, no, you got the problem. 456 00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,260 Trying to steal my man. 457 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,728 What man? Me man? 458 00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,230 Juanita, you're into me too? 459 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,865 That's right, and she knew it. 460 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:24,802 When we found out that you were single again, I called dibs. 461 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,804 You mean like Doug and his last ice cream sandwich? 462 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,107 But I had to have you, I mean, I couldn't contain myself. 463 00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:31,876 - Who could? - Many. Historically. 464 00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:32,810 Look at us. 465 00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,445 Juanita, look at us. 466 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:35,646 What are we doing? 467 00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,914 We're letting a guy come in between us? 468 00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,250 We are way too good of friends for that. 469 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,651 No, you're not. You guys are, like, work acquaintances. 470 00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:41,937 We can't let our friendship suffer. 471 00:18:41,938 --> 00:18:45,562 Let's just agree that Yamamoto is off limits. 472 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,258 No matter how hard it is, 473 00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,860 neither one of us can date him ever. 474 00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:51,195 Even if the other one dies. 475 00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:52,497 Aw. 476 00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,165 Whoa, whoa, whoa! We can work something out. 477 00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:56,734 Dorothy, I can date you on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. 478 00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:59,272 And, Juanita, I can date you on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. 479 00:18:59,273 --> 00:19:01,797 Sundays is Breaking Bad, but we could work something out. 480 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,742 Sorry, Yamamoto. It's gonna be hard, 481 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,911 but we're just gonna have to quit you. 482 00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:08,379 But, ladies. 483 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,148 That'll do, pig. 484 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:13,151 That'll do. 485 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,696 Tinsley...won't even talk to me. 486 00:19:25,698 --> 00:19:27,765 I definitely do not wanna talk to you. 487 00:19:27,767 --> 00:19:29,367 I don't wanna talk to you either. 488 00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,835 Good. 489 00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,538 I just took this chocolate from Sabrina. 490 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,806 Seems a shame to let it go to waste. 491 00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:37,208 That is so lame, man. 492 00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,209 No, it's free candy. 493 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:39,410 It's the opposite of lame. 494 00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:40,878 I mean, it's lame for you 495 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,847 to come into my office and not say you're sorry. 496 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,917 Does the candy not convey that? 497 00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:49,420 Why can't you just admit that a beautiful, sane woman 498 00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:51,956 chose me over you? 499 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:53,457 Fine. Congratulations. 500 00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:55,793 You won. Happy? 501 00:19:58,830 --> 00:20:00,865 Getting there. 502 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:04,936 So I was thinking, uh, trivia night next week. 503 00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,938 You could be my wingman? 504 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:08,706 Yeah, maybe you can be my wingman. 505 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,208 All right, fine. 506 00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:13,211 Whatever the traditional wingman process is. 507 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,812 Sweet bird, girlfriend. 508 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,914 Thanks. What's your name? 509 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,551 You're pretty. 510 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,587 Thank you. 511 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,488 Yeah, there's definitely something wrong with that girl. 512 00:20:24,490 --> 00:20:25,923 - There really is. - Yeah. 513 00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,661 Shapiro, I'm sorry. 514 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:35,733 When I hid your bananas, I was angry. 515 00:20:35,735 --> 00:20:37,835 When I told you you were out of order, 516 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,004 well, that was just wrong. 517 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:44,008 The only thing out of order around here is, um... 518 00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:46,510 Is my heart. 519 00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:12,603 Thanks for fixing the box, Gary. 520 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:16,807 It's moments like this that make my job worthwhile. 521 00:21:25,208 --> 00:21:35,208 Corrections by honeybunny Sync www.addic7ed.com 38184

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