All language subtitles for catch.22.s01e01.web.h264-tbs

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian Download
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian Download
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian Download
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic Download
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean Download
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese Download
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian Download
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish Download
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,533 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:03,814 [sirens blaring] 3 00:00:03,816 --> 00:00:05,536 [breathing heavily] 4 00:00:05,538 --> 00:00:07,458 MAN: Hey, can somebody help me here? 5 00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,620 Help him! Help him! 6 00:00:09,622 --> 00:00:11,061 Oh, shit! 7 00:00:11,063 --> 00:00:12,663 [dramatic music] 8 00:00:12,665 --> 00:00:15,466 [multiple voices shouting indistinctly] 9 00:00:15,468 --> 00:00:17,348 ♪ ♪ 10 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:20,831 [shouting continues] 11 00:00:20,833 --> 00:00:22,753 [gunfire, sirens blaring] 12 00:00:22,755 --> 00:00:27,158 [shouting continues, sirens blaring] 13 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,121 ♪ ♪ 14 00:00:30,123 --> 00:00:31,722 MAN: Don't worry. I'm turning-- 15 00:00:31,724 --> 00:00:34,725 [multiple voices shouting indistinctly] 16 00:00:34,727 --> 00:00:38,369 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,971 MAN: There's something wrong with the plane! 18 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,773 [airplane engines roaring] 19 00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:44,055 ♪ ♪ 20 00:00:44,057 --> 00:00:45,937 MAN: Man, just got to keep going. 21 00:00:45,939 --> 00:00:47,658 MAN 2: So you're helping the boys on the ground after all. 22 00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:50,301 MAN 3: I hope you die! MAN 4: Got to jump, Yossarian! 23 00:00:50,303 --> 00:00:52,063 YOSSARIAN: No, come back! 24 00:00:52,065 --> 00:00:53,144 MAN 4: I'm right behind you. I've got to get it out... 25 00:00:53,146 --> 00:00:55,148 [screams] 26 00:00:56,830 --> 00:00:59,070 SCHEISSKOPF: You goddamn spastics think I'm gonna let 27 00:00:59,072 --> 00:01:02,994 you prance around here like a Busby Berkeley chorus line, 28 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,156 then you've got another think coming to you. 29 00:01:05,158 --> 00:01:08,520 I make you practice marching more than any other squadron 30 00:01:08,522 --> 00:01:09,801 so you'll be better for the Sunday parades, 31 00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,122 and what happens? 32 00:01:11,124 --> 00:01:12,203 We look worse. 33 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:13,204 SCHEISSKOPF: You look worse. 34 00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,806 Just meet me halfway. 35 00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,768 Don't I always meet you more than halfway? 36 00:01:16,770 --> 00:01:18,772 That may be why we never meet at all. 37 00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:22,494 Is it my fault? 38 00:01:22,496 --> 00:01:25,497 Is any of this my fault? I want to be told. 39 00:01:25,499 --> 00:01:27,979 I won't punish the man who tells me the truth. 40 00:01:27,981 --> 00:01:29,741 I swear. Oh, yes, he will. 41 00:01:29,743 --> 00:01:33,184 I would be thankful to the man who tells me the truth. 42 00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:35,347 Why can you not walk a straight line? 43 00:01:35,349 --> 00:01:37,509 Why can you not turn a 90-degree angle 44 00:01:37,511 --> 00:01:39,191 after 11 weeks? 45 00:01:39,193 --> 00:01:42,754 Why do you not seem to care that we are nine days 46 00:01:42,756 --> 00:01:46,078 from the Inter-Squadron Parade Jamboree? 47 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:49,161 What the fuck are you staring at? 48 00:01:49,163 --> 00:01:53,365 SCHEISSKOPF: How can we finally, finally--I beg you-- 49 00:01:53,367 --> 00:01:56,208 find a way of getting this thing right? 50 00:01:56,210 --> 00:01:57,569 I actually know the answer to this. 51 00:01:57,571 --> 00:01:59,291 No, you don't. Oh, my God, Clevinger. 52 00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,572 No, really, I was looking at the parade manual... 53 00:02:00,574 --> 00:02:02,094 Shut up. 54 00:02:02,096 --> 00:02:03,815 About breaking us into smaller groups to start. 55 00:02:03,817 --> 00:02:06,018 You really need to shut up. And the $100 question-- 56 00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,660 why is it so hard to restrict the swing of your arms 57 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:10,943 to a maximum seven-inch lateral pendulum arc 58 00:02:10,945 --> 00:02:13,505 with a maximum four-inch distance from wrist to thigh? 59 00:02:13,507 --> 00:02:15,509 Peele, if you please! 60 00:02:18,152 --> 00:02:19,752 Seven-inch lateral pendulum arc, 61 00:02:19,754 --> 00:02:21,673 four-inch distance wrist to thigh. 62 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:24,276 Thank you, Peele! Yes, sir! 63 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,280 Why is that so hard? 64 00:02:28,562 --> 00:02:30,242 Why is that so hard? 65 00:02:30,244 --> 00:02:33,325 Seven-inch swing, four-inch gap. 66 00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,968 Then we look tight. 67 00:02:35,970 --> 00:02:37,930 Then we look fierce. 68 00:02:37,932 --> 00:02:42,054 Then we stand out from all the goddamn free-swinging arms 69 00:02:42,056 --> 00:02:44,136 that seem to be the goddamn fashion these days. 70 00:02:44,138 --> 00:02:48,100 Then we win the goddamn pennant because your goddamn hands 71 00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:50,142 ought never move more than three and a half inches 72 00:02:50,144 --> 00:02:52,024 in either direction, north or south, 73 00:02:52,026 --> 00:02:53,866 from the center of your thigh! 74 00:02:53,868 --> 00:02:56,188 But apparently we're all a bunch of mongoloids. 75 00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:58,110 He's talking about you, Clevinger. 76 00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,114 Reprobates! 77 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:05,358 And I've been staying up at night. 78 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,401 I've been saying to myself... 79 00:03:08,403 --> 00:03:11,884 "How are we gonna win this thing, boys?" 80 00:03:11,886 --> 00:03:14,006 And you know what'd do it? 81 00:03:14,008 --> 00:03:16,209 I got a friend in the sheet-metal shop, 82 00:03:16,211 --> 00:03:18,171 and he'd make me little pegs of nickel alloy, 83 00:03:18,173 --> 00:03:20,693 and I could sink each one of them into your thigh bones 84 00:03:20,695 --> 00:03:22,895 and connect it to your wrists with strands of copper wire 85 00:03:22,897 --> 00:03:24,737 with exactly three and a half inches of play, 86 00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:27,182 because apparently we're all a bunch of pansies! 87 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:33,266 So I'm asking you, somebody tell me, 88 00:03:33,268 --> 00:03:36,829 what is it that I am doing wrong? 89 00:03:36,831 --> 00:03:38,831 Somebody, anybody tell me, 90 00:03:38,833 --> 00:03:41,875 where have I failed? 91 00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:43,796 No, it's a rhetorical question. 92 00:03:43,798 --> 00:03:46,559 Sir! He-- 93 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,282 Soldier? Jesus Christ. 94 00:03:49,284 --> 00:03:51,244 Well, sir, I've actually been thinking about this. 95 00:03:51,246 --> 00:03:53,807 And, you see, I think it's quite a simple solution. 96 00:03:53,809 --> 00:03:55,368 What's your name, soldier? 97 00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:56,770 Clevinger, sir. 98 00:03:56,772 --> 00:03:59,212 Air Corps Cadet Timothy Clyde Clevinger. 99 00:03:59,214 --> 00:04:01,014 So I was thinking, the problem lies 100 00:04:01,016 --> 00:04:02,656 in the relationship between the synchronization 101 00:04:02,658 --> 00:04:04,217 of the whole unit and synchronization 102 00:04:04,219 --> 00:04:05,779 of the individual lines, you see? 103 00:04:05,781 --> 00:04:07,300 You start small rather than big, 104 00:04:07,302 --> 00:04:09,142 you divide the unit into practice groups, 105 00:04:09,144 --> 00:04:11,104 say six to ten men, well, it's just human nature 106 00:04:11,106 --> 00:04:13,867 to take in information more concretely in smaller groups. 107 00:04:13,869 --> 00:04:15,909 So, sir, I would suggest your error-- 108 00:04:15,911 --> 00:04:17,511 Clevinger, stop fucking talk-- 109 00:04:17,513 --> 00:04:20,554 ♪ [Glenn Miller's "Tuxedo Junction"] 110 00:04:20,556 --> 00:04:22,115 ♪ ♪ 111 00:04:22,117 --> 00:04:24,878 YOSSARIAN: This group small enough for you? 112 00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,120 CLEVINGER: I still can't understand it. 113 00:04:27,122 --> 00:04:29,282 What is there to understand? 114 00:04:29,284 --> 00:04:31,164 They hate you. 115 00:04:31,166 --> 00:04:33,246 They hate you before you got here. 116 00:04:33,248 --> 00:04:35,008 They hate you while you're here, 117 00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,811 and they're gonna keep on hating you after you leave. 118 00:04:37,813 --> 00:04:40,374 ♪ ♪ 119 00:04:40,376 --> 00:04:41,775 I'm sorry, buddy. 120 00:04:41,777 --> 00:04:45,058 ♪ ♪ 121 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:48,061 [airplane engines roaring overhead] 122 00:04:48,063 --> 00:04:55,111 ♪ ♪ 123 00:04:58,034 --> 00:05:00,874 MAN OVER RADIO: As the lead bombardier in the squadron, 124 00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:03,477 everyone else is following your cues. 125 00:05:03,479 --> 00:05:07,641 So, with this practice run, set your sighting angle 126 00:05:07,643 --> 00:05:09,003 to 70 degrees. 127 00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:12,326 [airplane engine rumbling] 128 00:05:12,328 --> 00:05:16,412 Now, clutch in, turn your rate and motor switch on. 129 00:05:18,654 --> 00:05:21,175 The rate and motor runs within five RPMs 130 00:05:21,177 --> 00:05:22,737 of the chosen speed. 131 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,378 Here they come, Nately. It's the Red Baron. 132 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,701 Take him down. [mimics gunfire] 133 00:05:26,703 --> 00:05:29,383 MAN: You know what's happening to your rate index? 134 00:05:29,385 --> 00:05:33,547 You're trying to find just one point on that scale. 135 00:05:33,549 --> 00:05:35,269 But watch the indices. 136 00:05:35,271 --> 00:05:37,231 That's the only way you keep track of where you are. 137 00:05:37,233 --> 00:05:38,833 So get in the habit now. 138 00:05:38,835 --> 00:05:44,519 So, you're lined up. What's next? 139 00:05:44,521 --> 00:05:46,080 Open bomb bay doors. 140 00:05:46,082 --> 00:05:47,802 Okay, go ahead. 141 00:05:47,804 --> 00:05:49,363 YOSSARIAN: Opening bomb bay doors. 142 00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,805 [wind howling] 143 00:05:50,807 --> 00:05:53,047 [airplane engines roaring] 144 00:05:53,049 --> 00:05:55,009 MAN: Level carefully so you can keep 145 00:05:55,011 --> 00:05:56,491 the vertical reference line. 146 00:05:56,493 --> 00:05:59,974 Every calculation must be precise. 147 00:05:59,976 --> 00:06:02,377 And next? 148 00:06:02,379 --> 00:06:03,778 Bombs away? 149 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,782 Correct. 150 00:06:08,224 --> 00:06:09,264 Bombs away. 151 00:06:09,266 --> 00:06:12,028 [wind howling] 152 00:06:17,154 --> 00:06:20,197 [airplane engines roaring] 153 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,639 [man and woman laughing] 154 00:06:24,641 --> 00:06:25,680 WOMAN: Whoo! 155 00:06:25,682 --> 00:06:27,762 [laughter continues] 156 00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:28,883 [grunts] 157 00:06:28,885 --> 00:06:30,565 [laughing] 158 00:06:30,567 --> 00:06:34,369 Oh, God. Oh, God. 159 00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:36,651 [both laughing] 160 00:06:36,653 --> 00:06:39,174 [both breathing heavily] 161 00:06:39,176 --> 00:06:40,815 YOSSARIAN: You know, I bet I could name two things 162 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,577 to be miserable about for every one you can name 163 00:06:42,579 --> 00:06:43,979 to be thankful for. 164 00:06:43,981 --> 00:06:46,461 MARION: Mmm, be thankful you're healthy. 165 00:06:46,463 --> 00:06:48,343 YOSSARIAN: Be bitter you're not gonna stay that way. 166 00:06:48,345 --> 00:06:49,905 Be glad you're even alive. 167 00:06:49,907 --> 00:06:51,306 YOSSARIAN: Be furious how you're gonna die. 168 00:06:51,308 --> 00:06:53,068 MARION: Things could be much worse. 169 00:06:53,070 --> 00:06:54,950 Yeah, well, things could be one hell of a lot better. 170 00:06:54,952 --> 00:06:56,431 You're naming only one thing. You said you could name two. 171 00:06:56,433 --> 00:06:58,673 Mmm. And don't tell me that God 172 00:06:58,675 --> 00:07:00,075 works in mysterious ways. 173 00:07:00,077 --> 00:07:01,596 There's nothing mysterious about it. 174 00:07:01,598 --> 00:07:02,918 He's not working at all. 175 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,960 You know, He's playing. Mm-hmm. 176 00:07:04,962 --> 00:07:06,561 Or else He's forgotten all about us. 177 00:07:06,563 --> 00:07:08,964 He is a brainless, conceited hayseed. 178 00:07:08,966 --> 00:07:10,686 [laughs] I mean, how mu-- 179 00:07:10,688 --> 00:07:12,648 how much reverence can you have for a supreme being 180 00:07:12,650 --> 00:07:15,130 who finds it necessary to rob old people of the power 181 00:07:15,132 --> 00:07:17,493 to control their bowel movements, hmm? 182 00:07:17,495 --> 00:07:18,734 Why the hell did He create pain? 183 00:07:18,736 --> 00:07:20,255 Pain is useful. 184 00:07:20,257 --> 00:07:22,417 Pain is a warning to us of bodily dangers. 185 00:07:22,419 --> 00:07:24,179 And who created the dangers? 186 00:07:24,181 --> 00:07:25,901 Yeah, He was certainly being-- He was certainly being 187 00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:27,703 charitable when He gave us pain. 188 00:07:27,705 --> 00:07:30,466 Why couldn't He have used a-a doorbell to let us know? 189 00:07:30,468 --> 00:07:31,787 [both laughing] 190 00:07:31,789 --> 00:07:34,430 Or one of--Or one of His celestial choirs? 191 00:07:34,432 --> 00:07:36,432 You know, when you think about the chance that He had 192 00:07:36,434 --> 00:07:38,274 to do something good, and then you look at the stupid 193 00:07:38,276 --> 00:07:39,995 ugly mess that He made of it instead, 194 00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:41,677 His incompetence is staggering. 195 00:07:41,679 --> 00:07:43,359 Better be careful what you say about Him, honey. 196 00:07:43,361 --> 00:07:44,640 He might punish you. 197 00:07:44,642 --> 00:07:46,362 Like He doesn't punish me already. 198 00:07:46,364 --> 00:07:47,923 Mm-hmm. 199 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,645 You know, one day I'm gonna make Him pay. 200 00:07:49,647 --> 00:07:52,928 One day I'm gonna grab that little yokel by His neck. 201 00:07:52,930 --> 00:07:54,970 You're gonna be in so much trouble. 202 00:07:54,972 --> 00:07:57,693 [laughing] 203 00:07:57,695 --> 00:07:59,455 I thought you didn't believe in God. 204 00:07:59,457 --> 00:08:00,976 I don't. 205 00:08:00,978 --> 00:08:03,739 But the God I don't believe in is a good God. 206 00:08:03,741 --> 00:08:07,423 Not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be. 207 00:08:07,425 --> 00:08:09,185 I'm not making Him out to be anything. 208 00:08:09,187 --> 00:08:11,789 Mm-hmm. I'm just reporting the facts. 209 00:08:14,192 --> 00:08:16,194 [laughs] 210 00:08:20,919 --> 00:08:24,440 ♪ [Jan Garber Orchestra's "Apache Dance" playing] 211 00:08:24,442 --> 00:08:27,443 MAN: [laughs] MAN 2: Take it easy, McWatt. 212 00:08:27,445 --> 00:08:29,565 Get in the goddamn bunk. It's almost lights out. 213 00:08:29,567 --> 00:08:31,207 Hey, what time's the parade drill tomorrow? 214 00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:32,809 0600. DUNBAR: Fuck, great. 215 00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:35,131 Fucking meaningless. They have a meaning. 216 00:08:35,133 --> 00:08:36,973 YOSSARIAN: They're meaningless. That's not true, Yo-Yo. 217 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,374 YOSSARIAN: Tell me one thing 218 00:08:38,376 --> 00:08:39,776 that's not meaningless about parades. 219 00:08:39,778 --> 00:08:41,217 Discipline, chain of command, 220 00:08:41,219 --> 00:08:43,740 working together as a unit, geometry. 221 00:08:43,742 --> 00:08:45,822 DUNBAR: Bullshit, Clevinger. Yo-Yo, you're right. 222 00:08:45,824 --> 00:08:47,183 There ain't one thing he can name. 223 00:08:47,185 --> 00:08:48,705 MAN: Lights out! 224 00:08:48,707 --> 00:08:50,106 Cohesion. 225 00:08:50,108 --> 00:08:51,227 Now you're just repeating yourself. 226 00:08:51,229 --> 00:08:52,348 CLEVINGER: No, I'm not. 227 00:08:52,350 --> 00:08:53,950 No, you're out of your mind. 228 00:08:53,952 --> 00:08:55,391 Parades aren't designed to teach us anything. 229 00:08:55,393 --> 00:08:57,073 They're designed to humiliate us. 230 00:08:57,075 --> 00:08:59,436 They're designed to make us suffer the indignity 231 00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,518 of doing something entirely pointless 232 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,319 so that sadistic fuck Scheisskopf 233 00:09:03,321 --> 00:09:04,961 can demonstrate he has power over us, 234 00:09:04,963 --> 00:09:08,525 'cause apparently that's how sadists get their kicks. 235 00:09:08,527 --> 00:09:10,367 The more pointless the activity, 236 00:09:10,369 --> 00:09:12,729 the greater our humiliation, and the more power he feels. 237 00:09:12,731 --> 00:09:15,652 And we can sit here and pretend all we want that there must be 238 00:09:15,654 --> 00:09:17,894 some more noble war-effort-type purpose 239 00:09:17,896 --> 00:09:20,257 to all this walking around in fucking rectangles, 240 00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:22,018 but there isn't one. 241 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:24,781 We do parades so Scheisskopf can feel like a tough guy. 242 00:09:24,783 --> 00:09:26,303 That's what parades are for. 243 00:09:26,305 --> 00:09:28,745 DUNBAR: Yeah, that's what parades are for. 244 00:09:28,747 --> 00:09:30,187 They disgust me. 245 00:09:30,189 --> 00:09:32,671 Make me feel sick in the stomach. 246 00:09:36,555 --> 00:09:39,196 Yeah, me too, buddy. Sick... 247 00:09:39,198 --> 00:09:41,200 in my stomach. 248 00:09:43,722 --> 00:09:45,442 DANEEKA: Feel this? YOSSARIAN: Yeah. 249 00:09:45,444 --> 00:09:47,404 Ah, God, that hurts. DANEEKA: Mmm, how about here? 250 00:09:47,406 --> 00:09:48,886 YOSSARIAN: Ah, yeah. 251 00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:50,447 DANEEKA: And what about when I tap here? 252 00:09:50,449 --> 00:09:52,169 How does that feel? YOSSARIAN: Ooh, rough. 253 00:09:52,171 --> 00:09:54,371 DANEEKA: How does this feel? YOSSARIAN: Mm, it hurts. 254 00:09:54,373 --> 00:09:55,893 DANEEKA: And here? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 255 00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:57,574 DANEEKA: What about this? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 256 00:09:57,576 --> 00:09:59,416 DANEEKA: And how about here? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 257 00:09:59,418 --> 00:10:01,018 DANEEKA: Here? YOSSARIAN: [groans] 258 00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,499 DANEEKA: When I tap here? [groans] 259 00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,061 DANEEKA: Mm-hmm. 260 00:10:04,063 --> 00:10:05,502 There's nothing wrong with your appendix. 261 00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:07,064 Are you sure? 262 00:10:07,066 --> 00:10:08,305 Next time say it's your liver. 263 00:10:08,307 --> 00:10:09,426 Something wrong with your liver, 264 00:10:09,428 --> 00:10:10,948 I can keep you here for weeks. 265 00:10:10,950 --> 00:10:12,630 There's something wrong with my liver. 266 00:10:12,632 --> 00:10:14,391 Nice try. There's nothing wrong with your liver. 267 00:10:14,393 --> 00:10:17,034 That shows how much you don't know. 268 00:10:17,036 --> 00:10:19,236 So how does a doctor end up here, anyway? 269 00:10:19,238 --> 00:10:21,478 Did you sign up for this shit? 270 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,521 Why aren't you off somewhere doing regular doctoring? 271 00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,282 Believe me, I don't want to be here. 272 00:10:25,284 --> 00:10:27,084 I examined myself pretty thoroughly 273 00:10:27,086 --> 00:10:28,806 and found that I was unfit for service. 274 00:10:28,808 --> 00:10:31,248 Now, you'd think my word would be enough, but, no. 275 00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,451 They send some guy from the draft board to look me over. 276 00:10:33,453 --> 00:10:35,413 Starts disputing my Four-F. 277 00:10:35,415 --> 00:10:37,294 You know, John, we live in a-- in an age 278 00:10:37,296 --> 00:10:39,176 of deteriorating spiritual values. 279 00:10:39,178 --> 00:10:42,259 It's really a--it's a terrible thing when--when even the word 280 00:10:42,261 --> 00:10:44,702 of a licensed small-town physician is questioned 281 00:10:44,704 --> 00:10:46,624 by the country he loves. 282 00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:48,666 What's a Four-F? I just told you-- 283 00:10:48,668 --> 00:10:51,269 it's my fitness for military service. 284 00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,990 I can't do these goddamn parades, Doc. 285 00:10:52,992 --> 00:10:54,832 They're gonna kill me. Parades never killed anyone. 286 00:10:54,834 --> 00:10:56,514 YOSSARIAN: I bet they have. Not many. 287 00:10:56,516 --> 00:10:58,316 Come on, Doc. DANEEKA: I'll tell you what. 288 00:10:58,318 --> 00:11:01,199 I'll help you out when I know it can do you some good. 289 00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:04,562 In the meantime, choose your battles. 290 00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,966 Parades are the least of your worries. 291 00:11:15,095 --> 00:11:17,137 [sighs] 292 00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:23,741 ♪ ["The U.S. Air Force" playing] 293 00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:26,704 [man shouting indistinctly] 294 00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:33,713 ♪ ♪ 295 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,601 [man continues shouting] 296 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:50,611 ♪ ♪ 297 00:11:53,293 --> 00:11:56,615 [man continues shouting] 298 00:11:56,617 --> 00:12:02,302 ♪ ♪ 299 00:12:07,468 --> 00:12:10,469 [militaristic percussion] 300 00:12:10,471 --> 00:12:17,518 ♪ ♪ 301 00:12:26,407 --> 00:12:27,926 Hey. 302 00:12:27,928 --> 00:12:33,814 ♪ ♪ 303 00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,976 [whispering] Clevinger, are you okay? 304 00:12:37,978 --> 00:12:42,661 ♪ ♪ 305 00:12:42,663 --> 00:12:43,983 Hey. 306 00:12:43,985 --> 00:12:46,625 ♪ ♪ 307 00:12:46,627 --> 00:12:48,147 Clevinger. 308 00:12:48,149 --> 00:12:49,508 [people gasp] 309 00:12:49,510 --> 00:12:51,150 PEELE: Stumbling without authority, 310 00:12:51,152 --> 00:12:53,472 breaking formation while in formation, 311 00:12:53,474 --> 00:12:56,075 indiscriminate behavior, mopery, 312 00:12:56,077 --> 00:12:57,436 provoking-- 313 00:12:57,438 --> 00:12:59,158 Do you want me to keep going, sir? 314 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,601 And his friend? Uh, that'd be, uh-- 315 00:13:02,603 --> 00:13:04,924 That'd be aiding and abetting all of the above, sir. 316 00:13:04,926 --> 00:13:06,806 As to these charges, how do you plead? 317 00:13:06,808 --> 00:13:08,167 Not guilty. 318 00:13:08,169 --> 00:13:11,450 And what makes you think we care? 319 00:13:11,452 --> 00:13:12,852 You're here because you're trouble 320 00:13:12,854 --> 00:13:14,894 and nobody likes trouble. Do you? 321 00:13:14,896 --> 00:13:17,016 Do I like trouble? You think this is funny? 322 00:13:17,018 --> 00:13:19,018 In 60 days, you're gonna be fighting the Hun, 323 00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:20,780 and you think this is a big, fat joke? 324 00:13:20,782 --> 00:13:22,261 I don't think it's a joke-- Don't interrupt me. 325 00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:23,783 And say "sir" when you do. Yes, sir. 326 00:13:23,785 --> 00:13:24,944 Didn't I just tell you not to interrupt me? 327 00:13:24,946 --> 00:13:26,666 But I didn't interrupt, sir. 328 00:13:26,668 --> 00:13:28,467 Are you mentally retarded, son? 329 00:13:28,469 --> 00:13:30,069 No, sir. I'm just innocent. 330 00:13:30,071 --> 00:13:31,551 I'm innocent until proven guilty. 331 00:13:31,553 --> 00:13:32,712 Says who? Everyone, sir. 332 00:13:32,714 --> 00:13:33,953 The Bill of Rights. Yeah. 333 00:13:33,955 --> 00:13:35,475 The Declaration of Independence. 334 00:13:35,477 --> 00:13:36,916 You believe all that crap? Yes, sir. 335 00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:38,838 I'm a free citizen in a free country-- 336 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,520 You are nothing of the kind. You are a prisoner at my dock. 337 00:13:40,522 --> 00:13:42,281 So you stand here, and you keep your mouth shut! 338 00:13:42,283 --> 00:13:44,285 Yes, sir! 339 00:13:46,087 --> 00:13:47,607 Now, what did you mean 340 00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:50,290 when you said that we couldn't punish you? 341 00:13:50,292 --> 00:13:51,811 When, sir? I'm asking the questions. 342 00:13:51,813 --> 00:13:53,373 You're answering them. CLEVINGER: Yes, sir. 343 00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:54,614 SCHEISSKOPFF: You think we brought you here 344 00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:55,895 so that you could ask me questions 345 00:13:55,897 --> 00:13:57,657 and I would answer them? No, sir. 346 00:13:57,659 --> 00:13:59,259 Then what the hell did you mean when you said 347 00:13:59,261 --> 00:14:00,820 that we could not punish you? I'm sorry, sir. 348 00:14:00,822 --> 00:14:02,422 I never said that you couldn't punish me. 349 00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:04,023 Now you're telling us when you did say it. 350 00:14:04,025 --> 00:14:05,625 I'm asking you to tell us when you didn't say it. 351 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,187 When didn't you say we couldn't punish you? 352 00:14:07,189 --> 00:14:08,708 I always didn't say you couldn't punish me. 353 00:14:08,710 --> 00:14:10,230 That a bare-faced lie! 354 00:14:10,232 --> 00:14:11,951 You whispered that we couldn't punish you 355 00:14:11,953 --> 00:14:13,593 to that dumb son of a bitch standing right there! 356 00:14:13,595 --> 00:14:14,874 Oh, no, sir, I whispered to him 357 00:14:14,876 --> 00:14:15,915 that you couldn't find me guilty. 358 00:14:15,917 --> 00:14:17,317 Well, I must be stupid, 359 00:14:17,319 --> 00:14:18,838 because the distinction escapes me! 360 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:19,960 You're a windy son of a bitch, aren't you? 361 00:14:19,962 --> 00:14:21,441 No, sir. No, sir? 362 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:22,602 You're calling me a liar now? No, sir. 363 00:14:22,604 --> 00:14:24,124 No, what, sir? No, what-- 364 00:14:24,126 --> 00:14:26,128 No, what? What, sir? 365 00:14:28,770 --> 00:14:31,531 Read me back the last line. "Read me back the last line." 366 00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:33,695 Not my last line. Somebody else's. 367 00:14:35,257 --> 00:14:38,018 "Read me back the last line." That's my last line again. 368 00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:39,900 Oh, no, sir. That's my last line. 369 00:14:39,902 --> 00:14:42,022 I read it to you just a moment ago. 370 00:14:42,024 --> 00:14:43,583 [grunts] 371 00:14:43,585 --> 00:14:46,586 ♪ [Tommy Dorsey's "Song of India"] 372 00:14:46,588 --> 00:14:49,149 ♪ ♪ 373 00:14:49,151 --> 00:14:50,991 [breathing heavily] 374 00:14:50,993 --> 00:14:52,993 I'm sorry, buddy. 375 00:14:52,995 --> 00:14:56,276 ♪ ♪ 376 00:14:56,278 --> 00:14:58,879 MARION: Do you sleep with me because you like me 377 00:14:58,881 --> 00:15:01,361 or because you hate my husband? 378 00:15:01,363 --> 00:15:02,683 [chuckles] 379 00:15:02,685 --> 00:15:05,966 A bit of both. [chuckles] Hmm. 380 00:15:05,968 --> 00:15:08,208 I could ask you the same question. 381 00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:12,573 Mm, you know, I'd say you're not allowed 382 00:15:12,575 --> 00:15:15,175 to hate him so much. 383 00:15:15,177 --> 00:15:17,978 You should leave that to me. 384 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:19,780 Besides, you're leaving tomorrow. 385 00:15:19,782 --> 00:15:22,024 You'll never have to see him again. 386 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:26,387 You know why I joined the Air Corp? 387 00:15:26,389 --> 00:15:28,349 Mm-mm. 388 00:15:28,351 --> 00:15:30,431 'Cause I knew that I'd be dragged into this shit 389 00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,273 one way or another. 390 00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:34,555 And I knew that bomber crews required more training 391 00:15:34,557 --> 00:15:36,157 than anybody else in the military, 392 00:15:36,159 --> 00:15:39,800 so I just figured war would be over 393 00:15:39,802 --> 00:15:42,083 by the time my training finished. [scoffs] 394 00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:44,325 Well, that was wishful thinking, hon. 395 00:15:44,327 --> 00:15:46,047 Mm. 396 00:15:46,049 --> 00:15:48,851 Yeah, I'm beginning to realize I may have been wrong. 397 00:15:50,493 --> 00:15:53,494 [distant explosions] 398 00:15:53,496 --> 00:15:55,937 [dramatic music] 399 00:15:55,939 --> 00:15:57,979 [airplane engines roaring] 400 00:15:57,981 --> 00:15:59,901 [booming] 401 00:15:59,903 --> 00:16:03,304 [men shouting indistinctly over radio] 402 00:16:03,306 --> 00:16:05,907 ♪ ♪ 403 00:16:05,909 --> 00:16:07,708 All right, time to target? 404 00:16:07,710 --> 00:16:09,831 MAN OVER RADIO: 30 seconds to the run, 30 seconds. 405 00:16:09,833 --> 00:16:11,392 Compression. 406 00:16:11,394 --> 00:16:13,314 MAN OVER RADIO: All right, pay attention, boys. 407 00:16:13,316 --> 00:16:16,357 MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Okay, steady. Hold steady! 408 00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,920 Holding steady, three-four-nine. 409 00:16:18,922 --> 00:16:20,962 Three-four-nine at 9,000 feet. 410 00:16:20,964 --> 00:16:22,644 MAN OVER RADIO: Roger that, holding at 9,000. 411 00:16:22,646 --> 00:16:24,165 MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Yossarian, we're approaching. 412 00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:25,647 Are you on a steady heading? 413 00:16:25,649 --> 00:16:28,169 YOSSARIAN: Yes, I'm on a steady heading. 414 00:16:28,171 --> 00:16:29,771 MAN: We're getting hammered back here! 415 00:16:29,773 --> 00:16:31,132 MAN 2: "Yankee Doodle," what's your status? 416 00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:32,854 YOSSARIAN: Opening bomb bay doors. 417 00:16:32,856 --> 00:16:34,215 MAN: Let's go. Open them up. 418 00:16:34,217 --> 00:16:35,777 Open them up! 419 00:16:35,779 --> 00:16:37,899 MAN 2: Hey, McWatt, reading at oh-four-two, 420 00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:39,260 holding at 5,000. 421 00:16:39,262 --> 00:16:41,222 MCWATT: Oh-four-two at 5,000. 422 00:16:41,224 --> 00:16:44,065 MAN OVER RADIO: They're gonna have to get up a little higher. 423 00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,947 Let's just hold it steady right there. 424 00:16:45,949 --> 00:16:47,669 [booming] 425 00:16:47,671 --> 00:16:49,991 MAN: How we looking here? We're holding. 426 00:16:49,993 --> 00:16:51,753 MAN: Come on, let's drop them! Just drop them! 427 00:16:51,755 --> 00:16:53,154 Here we go. 428 00:16:53,156 --> 00:16:55,437 MAN: Adjusting for drift, three degrees. 429 00:16:55,439 --> 00:16:57,399 MAN 2: Three degrees, roger that. 430 00:16:57,401 --> 00:16:58,880 MAN 3: On your left! 431 00:16:58,882 --> 00:17:00,402 MAN 4: Oh, it's too strong! 432 00:17:00,404 --> 00:17:01,963 [shouting indistinctly] 433 00:17:01,965 --> 00:17:04,125 MAN 5: How do I know? I can't see anything! 434 00:17:04,127 --> 00:17:06,127 [rattling] 435 00:17:06,129 --> 00:17:08,089 We almost there, Yo-Yo? 436 00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:11,133 Steady. 437 00:17:11,135 --> 00:17:14,096 Closing in on target, fellas. 438 00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:15,497 [gunfire] 439 00:17:15,499 --> 00:17:17,139 Holy fuck! 440 00:17:17,141 --> 00:17:18,820 MAN OVER RADIO: Yo-Yo, come on. Where are they? 441 00:17:18,822 --> 00:17:20,542 Holding steady. 442 00:17:20,544 --> 00:17:22,264 MAN OVER RADIO: Can you hurry the fuck up up there? 443 00:17:22,266 --> 00:17:24,106 We're dying back here! Holding... 444 00:17:24,108 --> 00:17:25,988 MAN OVER RADIO: Come on! And... 445 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,950 MAN: Drop them already, Yo-Yo. MAN 2: Let's go! Drop them! 446 00:17:27,952 --> 00:17:29,952 Bombs away! 447 00:17:29,954 --> 00:17:33,235 [suspenseful music] 448 00:17:33,237 --> 00:17:35,077 MAN: They're away! They're away! 449 00:17:35,079 --> 00:17:37,039 And we're off! YOSSARIAN: All right! 450 00:17:37,041 --> 00:17:38,480 Over to you, McWatt! Get us out of here! 451 00:17:38,482 --> 00:17:40,122 We're done! 452 00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:43,205 MCWATT: All right, getting us out of this shit. 453 00:17:43,207 --> 00:17:44,446 MAN OVER RADIO: We're still getting strikes! 454 00:17:44,448 --> 00:17:45,607 We got to go! 455 00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:47,449 Jesus Christ! 456 00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:48,891 MAN: You all right up there? 457 00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:51,133 McWatt, are you okay? 458 00:17:51,135 --> 00:17:52,614 Fuck. 459 00:17:52,616 --> 00:17:54,737 MAN: We got you, we got you. You're okay. 460 00:17:54,739 --> 00:17:58,220 ♪ ♪ 461 00:17:58,222 --> 00:18:01,343 [groaning] 462 00:18:01,345 --> 00:18:03,666 ♪ ♪ 463 00:18:03,668 --> 00:18:05,347 Christ. 464 00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:07,351 Oh, Christ. 465 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,040 MAN: ♪ A buzzard took a monkey for a ride in the air ♪ 466 00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:20,322 ♪ The monkey thought that everything was on the square ♪ 467 00:18:20,324 --> 00:18:23,205 ♪ The buzzard tried to throw the monkey off of his back ♪ 468 00:18:23,207 --> 00:18:26,649 ♪ The monkey grabbed his neck and said, "Now listen, Jack" ♪ 469 00:18:26,651 --> 00:18:28,611 CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 470 00:18:28,613 --> 00:18:30,012 ♪ ♪ 471 00:18:30,014 --> 00:18:31,774 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 472 00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:33,175 ♪ ♪ 473 00:18:33,177 --> 00:18:35,538 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 474 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:39,302 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 475 00:18:39,304 --> 00:18:42,225 ♪ Ain't no use in diving ♪ 476 00:18:42,227 --> 00:18:45,308 ♪ What's the use of jiving? ♪ 477 00:18:45,310 --> 00:18:47,910 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 478 00:18:47,912 --> 00:18:50,753 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 479 00:18:50,755 --> 00:18:54,277 MAN: ♪ The buzzard told the monkey, "You are choking me ♪ 480 00:18:54,279 --> 00:18:57,200 ♪ Release your hold, and I will set you free" ♪ 481 00:18:57,202 --> 00:18:58,881 ♪ The monkey looked the buzzard ♪ 482 00:18:58,883 --> 00:19:00,603 ♪ Right dead in the eye and said ♪ 483 00:19:00,605 --> 00:19:02,245 ♪ "Your story's so touching ♪ 484 00:19:02,247 --> 00:19:04,367 ♪ But it sounds just like a lie" ♪ 485 00:19:04,369 --> 00:19:07,170 CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 486 00:19:07,172 --> 00:19:10,053 ♪ Straighten up and stay right ♪ 487 00:19:10,055 --> 00:19:12,856 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 488 00:19:12,858 --> 00:19:15,779 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 489 00:19:15,781 --> 00:19:22,828 ♪ ♪ 490 00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:26,589 [bell dings] 491 00:19:26,591 --> 00:19:32,475 ♪ ♪ 492 00:19:32,477 --> 00:19:35,759 [indistinct radio chatter] 493 00:19:35,761 --> 00:19:38,802 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 494 00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:41,885 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 495 00:19:41,887 --> 00:19:44,768 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 496 00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:47,411 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 497 00:19:47,413 --> 00:19:49,252 [airplane engines roaring overhead] 498 00:19:49,254 --> 00:19:51,655 MAN: It is time to support the war effort. 499 00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,256 Buy war bonds. 500 00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,058 Buy them until we turn back Tojo 501 00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:57,541 and there's a white flag over Japan. 502 00:19:57,543 --> 00:19:59,743 And what's more, keep those bonds. 503 00:19:59,745 --> 00:20:01,785 Hold them for your future. 504 00:20:01,787 --> 00:20:03,347 This is Ed Davey signing off. 505 00:20:03,349 --> 00:20:06,069 CHORUS: ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 506 00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:09,713 ♪ Straighten up and stay right ♪ 507 00:20:09,715 --> 00:20:11,955 ♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪ 508 00:20:11,957 --> 00:20:15,919 ♪ Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top ♪ 509 00:20:15,921 --> 00:20:17,521 ♪ ♪ 510 00:20:17,523 --> 00:20:19,525 ♪ Fly right ♪ 511 00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,810 Hey. How'd it go? 512 00:20:26,812 --> 00:20:29,173 Oh, we took some flak. 513 00:20:29,175 --> 00:20:32,096 I bet you did. 514 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:33,737 Fellas, hi. 515 00:20:33,739 --> 00:20:36,901 This is Mudd. Henry Mudd. He's your new bunkmate. 516 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,462 I think there's been a mistake. 517 00:20:38,464 --> 00:20:40,064 I think there's been a mistake. 518 00:20:40,066 --> 00:20:41,425 I'm fairly certain there's been a mistake. 519 00:20:41,427 --> 00:20:43,908 Well, it says right here he's-- 520 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:47,191 Well, he's bunking down with you and Orr. 521 00:20:47,193 --> 00:20:50,634 Right, well, I'll leave you men to it. 522 00:20:50,636 --> 00:20:52,757 Hey, Milo. MILO: Hi, Reverend! 523 00:20:52,759 --> 00:20:54,118 Yo-Yo. 524 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:56,160 Oh, hi. I'm Milo Minderbinder. 525 00:20:56,162 --> 00:20:58,122 YOSSARIAN: This is Mudd. Henry Mudd. 526 00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:02,326 Well, Henry, you've arrived at precisely the right time. 527 00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,168 I'd say there's plenty more where these came from, 528 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:05,570 but there isn't. 529 00:21:05,572 --> 00:21:07,291 That's how special these two are to me. 530 00:21:07,293 --> 00:21:08,853 Oh. Go on. Take a few. 531 00:21:08,855 --> 00:21:11,618 Now we're talking. MILO: You too, Henry. 532 00:21:15,061 --> 00:21:17,183 Come on, one for later. 533 00:21:19,746 --> 00:21:21,305 Beautiful. 534 00:21:21,307 --> 00:21:23,307 All right, gentlemen, I'm doing the rounds. 535 00:21:23,309 --> 00:21:27,352 If anyone asks, these are going two for a dime. 536 00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:29,796 Good to meet you, Henry Mudd. 537 00:21:35,402 --> 00:21:37,404 You can drop your bags. 538 00:21:52,619 --> 00:21:56,381 Uh, they told me to check in at the administration tent. 539 00:21:56,383 --> 00:21:58,303 YOSSARIAN: Well, that's what you should do, then. 540 00:21:58,305 --> 00:22:00,425 Do you know where it is? 541 00:22:00,427 --> 00:22:02,267 Well, you follow this path up here, 542 00:22:02,269 --> 00:22:04,069 and when you hit the latrines, you take a left, 543 00:22:04,071 --> 00:22:06,671 and the Administrations is the second tent on the right. 544 00:22:06,673 --> 00:22:08,753 Thanks. 545 00:22:08,755 --> 00:22:10,555 I'll be right back. 546 00:22:10,557 --> 00:22:12,559 Yeah. 547 00:22:18,085 --> 00:22:21,849 Great. That's fucking great. 548 00:22:25,172 --> 00:22:28,053 Oh, fuck. Third tent! 549 00:22:28,055 --> 00:22:30,658 It's the third tent on the right! 550 00:22:36,103 --> 00:22:37,663 [groans] 551 00:22:37,665 --> 00:22:40,708 [indistinct chatter] 552 00:22:56,444 --> 00:22:58,484 KORN: All right, I want you to pay particular attention 553 00:22:58,486 --> 00:23:00,165 to this right here. 554 00:23:00,167 --> 00:23:02,448 The heaviest flak is supported right here and here. 555 00:23:02,450 --> 00:23:05,250 Yes? MUDD: Sir, I'm here to report-- 556 00:23:05,252 --> 00:23:07,293 Are you the gunner? MUDD: I'm a gunner, yes, sir. 557 00:23:07,295 --> 00:23:08,934 Crosby, your tail gunner's here! 558 00:23:08,936 --> 00:23:10,856 Hurry up, then! We're going up in four minutes! 559 00:23:10,858 --> 00:23:13,579 Now, this has been cleared last week as another squadron-- 560 00:23:13,581 --> 00:23:16,302 Uh, sir, I'm a side gunner, not a--I don't-- 561 00:23:16,304 --> 00:23:18,466 Go, go, go! Yes, sir. 562 00:23:24,312 --> 00:23:27,713 [jazz music] 563 00:23:27,715 --> 00:23:34,722 ♪ ♪ 564 00:24:24,453 --> 00:24:26,132 YOSSARIAN: What? DUNBAR: Knife? 565 00:24:26,134 --> 00:24:27,814 YOSSARIAN: I'm not your mother, Dunbar, but here. 566 00:24:27,816 --> 00:24:30,539 [indistinct chatter] 567 00:24:43,071 --> 00:24:45,272 What's your name? 568 00:24:45,274 --> 00:24:47,594 Major. 569 00:24:47,596 --> 00:24:50,797 You're not a major. No, no. That's my name. 570 00:24:50,799 --> 00:24:52,839 Well, I'm not calling you Major. 571 00:24:52,841 --> 00:24:55,322 What's your Christian name? Major. It--it's Major. 572 00:24:55,324 --> 00:24:56,763 No, your--your Christian name. 573 00:24:56,765 --> 00:24:58,485 He means what's your first name. 574 00:24:58,487 --> 00:25:00,847 That's what I'm saying. My first name is Major, too. 575 00:25:00,849 --> 00:25:04,131 You're kidding me. [laughs] You serious? 576 00:25:04,133 --> 00:25:05,772 It's a funny story. 577 00:25:05,774 --> 00:25:07,574 My--my mother was rather exhausted from giving birth 578 00:25:07,576 --> 00:25:09,216 to me-- she had lost a lot of blood. 579 00:25:09,218 --> 00:25:11,778 Uh, my father filled in the forms. 580 00:25:11,780 --> 00:25:14,381 And he calls you Major? It's my middle name, too. 581 00:25:14,383 --> 00:25:15,863 DUNBAR: Let me get this right. 582 00:25:15,865 --> 00:25:19,186 Your father named you Major Major Major? 583 00:25:19,188 --> 00:25:21,388 He came back into the ward, and he said to my mother, 584 00:25:21,390 --> 00:25:23,350 "I've named him Caleb in accordance with your wishes." 585 00:25:23,352 --> 00:25:26,193 But--but he was lying. [laughs] 586 00:25:26,195 --> 00:25:28,275 You're Sergeant Major Major Major? 587 00:25:28,277 --> 00:25:30,758 Uh, yeah. I've--I've made peace with it. 588 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,720 Tell me this. Have you had a tough life? 589 00:25:32,722 --> 00:25:34,641 [laughs] 590 00:25:34,643 --> 00:25:37,044 You can call me Caleb. Even just Cal would be okay. 591 00:25:37,046 --> 00:25:38,485 DUNBAR: Hey, fellas! 592 00:25:38,487 --> 00:25:42,209 This guy's name is Major Major Major. 593 00:25:42,211 --> 00:25:45,214 [laughter] 594 00:25:49,579 --> 00:25:52,582 [indistinct chatter] 595 00:25:54,423 --> 00:25:57,867 Sir. [chatter fades] 596 00:26:07,236 --> 00:26:09,279 [liquid sloshing] 597 00:26:12,602 --> 00:26:15,403 What is this nonsense? It's meat, sir... 598 00:26:15,405 --> 00:26:18,406 and vegetables, I think. 599 00:26:18,408 --> 00:26:21,169 God, abominable. 600 00:26:21,171 --> 00:26:24,252 I will have sardines on toast in my tent. 601 00:26:24,254 --> 00:26:26,256 Of course, sir. 602 00:26:27,977 --> 00:26:30,098 ORR: Did you hear about that plane this afternoon? 603 00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:31,619 YOSSARIAN: What plane? 604 00:26:31,621 --> 00:26:34,222 That plane went down that the kid was on. 605 00:26:34,224 --> 00:26:36,664 What kid? Mudd. 606 00:26:36,666 --> 00:26:39,909 Who's Mudd? The kid from our tent. 607 00:26:42,152 --> 00:26:43,431 Oh, shit. 608 00:26:43,433 --> 00:26:44,832 He didn't even unpack his kit. 609 00:26:44,834 --> 00:26:47,275 [dramatic music] 610 00:26:47,277 --> 00:26:50,158 He went down? He's gone. 611 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,639 Done and dusted. 612 00:26:51,641 --> 00:26:56,044 ♪ ♪ 613 00:26:56,046 --> 00:26:57,525 Poor guy. 614 00:26:57,527 --> 00:27:04,534 ♪ ♪ 615 00:27:24,955 --> 00:27:27,956 [laughter] 616 00:27:27,958 --> 00:27:30,719 ♪ ♪ 617 00:27:30,721 --> 00:27:32,200 [laughter] 618 00:27:32,202 --> 00:27:33,562 Oh! [whoosh] 619 00:27:33,564 --> 00:27:34,923 [all shouting] 620 00:27:34,925 --> 00:27:37,526 MAN: Oh, fuck! There goes the hot water. 621 00:27:37,528 --> 00:27:38,847 MAN 2: Oh! 622 00:27:38,849 --> 00:27:40,729 ♪ ♪ 623 00:27:40,731 --> 00:27:43,772 Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's, uh--it's a type of oil valve. 624 00:27:43,774 --> 00:27:45,814 I actually know how to modify that. 625 00:27:45,816 --> 00:27:48,817 ♪ ♪ 626 00:27:48,819 --> 00:27:51,860 [indistinct chatter] 627 00:27:51,862 --> 00:27:58,389 ♪ ♪ 628 00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:02,551 I'm not sure I can take this shit. 629 00:28:02,553 --> 00:28:06,075 DUNBAR: A little cold water never hurt nobody, Yo-Yo. 630 00:28:06,077 --> 00:28:07,796 No, I can't fly more missions. 631 00:28:07,798 --> 00:28:09,558 CLEVINGER: We're winning this thing, Yossarian. 632 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,400 You've already flown 16 missions. 633 00:28:11,402 --> 00:28:13,042 25 and we can go home. 634 00:28:13,044 --> 00:28:15,044 Yeah, I can't do nine more. 635 00:28:15,046 --> 00:28:16,645 NATELY: Well, we're winning this war. 636 00:28:16,647 --> 00:28:18,167 That's what they say, anyways. 637 00:28:18,169 --> 00:28:20,049 You know, Rome is about to fall, 638 00:28:20,051 --> 00:28:21,570 and the Germans are toast. 639 00:28:21,572 --> 00:28:23,172 The Germans are toast. Exactly. 640 00:28:23,174 --> 00:28:25,494 No more planes. Ground troops only. 641 00:28:25,496 --> 00:28:27,136 And they're all retreating. 642 00:28:27,138 --> 00:28:28,978 So why the hell are we still flying missions? 643 00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:30,499 'Cause we got to-- we got to polish them off. 644 00:28:30,501 --> 00:28:32,341 YOSSARIAN: Well, you can polish them off. 645 00:28:32,343 --> 00:28:35,426 I don't want to be the one who dies showing them the door. 646 00:28:50,081 --> 00:28:51,400 YOSSARIAN: There's something wrong with my liver. 647 00:28:51,402 --> 00:28:52,802 DUCKETT: What's wrong with it? 648 00:28:52,804 --> 00:28:54,363 Well, it hurts. Where does it hurt? 649 00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:55,685 In my liver. Will you show me exactly? 650 00:28:55,687 --> 00:28:57,689 Uh... 651 00:28:58,690 --> 00:29:00,852 That's not your liver. YOSSARIAN: Are you sure? 652 00:29:03,495 --> 00:29:05,334 Well, well, well... 653 00:29:05,336 --> 00:29:07,216 YOSSARIAN: Doc! Let me guess. 654 00:29:07,218 --> 00:29:08,778 Liver? 655 00:29:08,780 --> 00:29:10,580 Thank you, Sue Anne. 656 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:11,901 Do I need to call the priest? What are you doing here? 657 00:29:11,903 --> 00:29:13,423 I asked myself the same question. 658 00:29:13,425 --> 00:29:15,265 I go where they tell me to go. 659 00:29:15,267 --> 00:29:17,627 So... 660 00:29:17,629 --> 00:29:19,028 are you actually sick this time? 661 00:29:19,030 --> 00:29:20,590 I feel sick. Yeah, but are you sick? 662 00:29:20,592 --> 00:29:21,711 I honestly feel sick. So do I. 663 00:29:21,713 --> 00:29:23,513 But that doesn't mean I am. 664 00:29:23,515 --> 00:29:26,676 Look, I've flown 16 missions. The mission quota's 25. 665 00:29:26,678 --> 00:29:29,199 I have nine left to fly. They're entirely pointless. 666 00:29:29,201 --> 00:29:31,241 I mean, the Germans are on the run, right? 667 00:29:31,243 --> 00:29:33,443 So I figure I just wait it out in here, 668 00:29:33,445 --> 00:29:35,285 if that's okay with you. 669 00:29:35,287 --> 00:29:37,407 So the Germans fold, and then what do you think happens? 670 00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:39,369 Then I go home. 671 00:29:39,371 --> 00:29:41,251 You do realize we're fighting a war in the Pacific right now? 672 00:29:41,253 --> 00:29:43,213 And as soon as Europe is done, if you haven't already been 673 00:29:43,215 --> 00:29:44,934 formally discharged, they're gonna ship you 674 00:29:44,936 --> 00:29:48,498 straight out there, and you do not want to go there. 675 00:29:48,500 --> 00:29:50,300 They got malaria there. Yeah. 676 00:29:50,302 --> 00:29:52,062 They got fungus. They got two kinds of fungus. 677 00:29:52,064 --> 00:29:54,704 They got a fungus that gets in your brain and eats it. 678 00:29:54,706 --> 00:29:56,506 They got parasites. They got leeches. 679 00:29:56,508 --> 00:29:59,311 I'd fly your nine missions, if I was you. 680 00:30:03,355 --> 00:30:06,396 ♪ [Johnny Hodges' "Good Queen Bess"] 681 00:30:06,398 --> 00:30:13,445 ♪ ♪ 682 00:30:15,487 --> 00:30:18,530 [indistinct chatter] 683 00:30:22,214 --> 00:30:29,261 ♪ ♪ 684 00:30:30,262 --> 00:30:33,784 Hello, sir? [knocks on door] 685 00:30:33,786 --> 00:30:35,185 Major de Coverley, sir? 686 00:30:35,187 --> 00:30:38,591 [metallic clanking] 687 00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:44,795 [Jeep engines revving] 688 00:30:44,797 --> 00:30:47,838 [classical music playing] 689 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:54,847 ♪ ♪ 690 00:30:58,411 --> 00:31:00,331 [horseshoe clinks] 691 00:31:00,333 --> 00:31:03,494 ♪ ♪ 692 00:31:03,496 --> 00:31:05,055 Hello, sir. 693 00:31:05,057 --> 00:31:07,098 ♪ ♪ 694 00:31:07,100 --> 00:31:08,779 Sorry to interrupt, sir. 695 00:31:08,781 --> 00:31:11,702 But I think you're gonna want to see this. 696 00:31:11,704 --> 00:31:17,788 ♪ ♪ 697 00:31:17,790 --> 00:31:20,791 What? Where'd you get these? 698 00:31:20,793 --> 00:31:23,554 From the highlands of Scotland, sir. 699 00:31:23,556 --> 00:31:25,556 ♪ ♪ 700 00:31:25,558 --> 00:31:27,438 Is that so? Yes, sir. 701 00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:29,240 These are highland lamb chops. 702 00:31:29,242 --> 00:31:34,205 ♪ ♪ 703 00:31:34,207 --> 00:31:37,048 These lambs--oh, they're fed on the richest, 704 00:31:37,050 --> 00:31:39,690 greenest clover in all of Great Britain all day long. 705 00:31:39,692 --> 00:31:42,453 I have a friend at the RAF base in Donibristle 706 00:31:42,455 --> 00:31:44,495 who manages to clear a little space for an icebox 707 00:31:44,497 --> 00:31:45,937 on one of the courier planes. 708 00:31:45,939 --> 00:31:47,979 I could have these for you every week, sir. 709 00:31:47,981 --> 00:31:49,580 Donibristle. 710 00:31:49,582 --> 00:31:52,824 Sunday lamb chops, we could call them. 711 00:31:52,826 --> 00:31:54,586 Walk with me. 712 00:31:54,588 --> 00:31:56,908 ♪ ♪ 713 00:31:56,910 --> 00:31:59,030 MILO: They're not the easiest things to come by. 714 00:31:59,032 --> 00:32:00,832 If our friend in Scotland is sending us a steady supply 715 00:32:00,834 --> 00:32:02,433 of lamb chops-- Okay. 716 00:32:02,435 --> 00:32:04,275 Give me another one of these. Of course, sir. 717 00:32:04,277 --> 00:32:05,917 If our friend in Scotland is sending us a steady supply 718 00:32:05,919 --> 00:32:07,398 of lamb chops, 719 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,880 I really should be giving him something in return. 720 00:32:08,882 --> 00:32:10,962 Now, don't get me wrong. He's a lovely man. 721 00:32:10,964 --> 00:32:12,804 But the lamb chop situation-- 722 00:32:12,806 --> 00:32:15,847 [airplane engines roaring overhead] 723 00:32:15,849 --> 00:32:18,650 As we all know, sir, ours is a mercantile world. 724 00:32:18,652 --> 00:32:20,171 It's a world of give and take. 725 00:32:20,173 --> 00:32:21,853 Our friend in Scotland, for instance, 726 00:32:21,855 --> 00:32:24,496 has a fondness for Sicilian olives, which I can get. 727 00:32:24,498 --> 00:32:26,818 Now, if I was Mess Officer, I'd have control 728 00:32:26,820 --> 00:32:28,580 of the flight manifests of the cargo planes-- 729 00:32:28,582 --> 00:32:30,061 the outgoings, the incomings, 730 00:32:30,063 --> 00:32:31,943 and so on and so forth. 731 00:32:31,945 --> 00:32:33,905 Our friend in Scotland would be happy in the northern mists 732 00:32:33,907 --> 00:32:35,307 with his olives. 733 00:32:35,309 --> 00:32:37,349 You'd be happy with your lamb chops. 734 00:32:37,351 --> 00:32:40,232 I could devote my full attention to such matters, 735 00:32:40,234 --> 00:32:42,434 and it's not just Donibristle we're talking about. 736 00:32:42,436 --> 00:32:45,197 Do you like strudel, sir? 737 00:32:45,199 --> 00:32:47,079 Everybody likes strudel, son. 738 00:32:47,081 --> 00:32:48,720 That's exactly right, sir. 739 00:32:48,722 --> 00:32:51,163 And when was the last time you had strudel, sir? 740 00:32:51,165 --> 00:32:52,764 Not recently. Me neither. 741 00:32:52,766 --> 00:32:54,086 I miss it. I miss it, too. 742 00:32:54,088 --> 00:32:55,247 As do I. Me too. 743 00:32:55,249 --> 00:32:56,648 Well, it needn't be this way. 744 00:32:56,650 --> 00:32:58,650 We shouldn't have to miss strudel, sir. 745 00:32:58,652 --> 00:33:01,533 If I was Mess Officer, I could fix it. 746 00:33:01,535 --> 00:33:03,175 What's your name, son? 747 00:33:03,177 --> 00:33:06,498 I'm Milo Minderbinder, sir. I'm 27 years old. 748 00:33:06,500 --> 00:33:09,541 ♪ [Benny Goodman's "Sing, Sing, Sing"] 749 00:33:09,543 --> 00:33:16,590 ♪ ♪ 750 00:33:27,842 --> 00:33:32,565 [engines rumbling] 751 00:33:32,567 --> 00:33:39,614 ♪ ♪ 752 00:33:54,028 --> 00:33:55,988 MAN OVER RADIO: Clear sailing today, fellas. 753 00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:57,790 MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Like a day in the country. 754 00:33:57,792 --> 00:33:59,512 Clear skies up ahead. 755 00:33:59,514 --> 00:34:01,194 Beautiful day for a milk run, boys. 756 00:34:01,196 --> 00:34:03,276 MAN OVER RADIO: Blue skies. Cloud nine. 757 00:34:03,278 --> 00:34:04,957 Holding steady at two-four-eight. 758 00:34:04,959 --> 00:34:08,281 Two-four-eight, 70,200. 759 00:34:08,283 --> 00:34:10,042 MAN: Got to be on top of it. Where we at? 760 00:34:10,044 --> 00:34:13,166 MAN 2: Closing in on target. 30 seconds to run. 761 00:34:13,168 --> 00:34:14,367 MAN 3: Copy that. 30 seconds. 762 00:34:14,369 --> 00:34:16,249 MAN 4: Yo-Yo, you ready? 763 00:34:16,251 --> 00:34:19,172 MAN 5: Yo-Yo, drop them, and let's get the fuck out of here. 764 00:34:19,174 --> 00:34:21,014 YOSSARIAN: Holding steady. 765 00:34:21,016 --> 00:34:22,455 MAN: Oh, shit! [gunfire] 766 00:34:22,457 --> 00:34:24,017 Oh, hold on! We got it! Hold on! 767 00:34:24,019 --> 00:34:26,019 [man shouts indistinctly over radio] 768 00:34:26,021 --> 00:34:27,860 MAN: Look out! Will you hurry the fuck up? 769 00:34:27,862 --> 00:34:29,302 Jesus Christ. 770 00:34:29,304 --> 00:34:31,064 Shit. Not a milk run anymore, fellas. 771 00:34:31,066 --> 00:34:32,665 Here we go again. Hold steady. 772 00:34:32,667 --> 00:34:34,227 MAN: Harvey, where we at? 773 00:34:34,229 --> 00:34:36,910 HARVEY: Hey, McWatt, bring her to 066. 774 00:34:36,912 --> 00:34:38,071 MCWATT: Roger that. 775 00:34:38,073 --> 00:34:39,873 HARVEY: Steady! Steady! 776 00:34:39,875 --> 00:34:41,514 All right, boys, we're approaching. 777 00:34:41,516 --> 00:34:44,117 Yossarian, what's your heading? 778 00:34:44,119 --> 00:34:46,559 Hey, Yossarian, you got to get above me. 779 00:34:46,561 --> 00:34:49,604 [gunfire, bullets ricocheting] 780 00:34:53,769 --> 00:34:55,328 Hey, Yossarian, you hear me? 781 00:34:55,330 --> 00:34:58,732 Yo-Yo, what the fuck is going on down there? 782 00:34:58,734 --> 00:35:00,894 Yossarian. 783 00:35:00,896 --> 00:35:02,936 Oh! HARVEY: Holy shit! 784 00:35:02,938 --> 00:35:04,337 What the fuck was that? 785 00:35:04,339 --> 00:35:06,580 [screaming] 786 00:35:06,582 --> 00:35:08,862 [suspenseful music] 787 00:35:08,864 --> 00:35:11,585 Oh! MAN: Holy fuck! 788 00:35:11,587 --> 00:35:12,906 HARVEY: What happened to Dunbar? 789 00:35:12,908 --> 00:35:14,388 MAN: Was he wearing his chute? 790 00:35:14,390 --> 00:35:18,151 [groaning loudly] 791 00:35:18,153 --> 00:35:19,353 HARVEY: We're getting close! 792 00:35:19,355 --> 00:35:21,715 MAN: Hold steady. Seven-six. 793 00:35:21,717 --> 00:35:23,437 Uh... MAN: Here I go! 794 00:35:23,439 --> 00:35:25,198 Okay. [groans] 795 00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:26,480 HARVEY: You there, Yo-Yo? 796 00:35:26,482 --> 00:35:27,721 MAN 2: Steady! Hold steady! 797 00:35:27,723 --> 00:35:29,283 HARVEY: Drop them, Yo-Yo. 798 00:35:29,285 --> 00:35:31,124 Go, goddamn it! Nately, we're holding! 799 00:35:31,126 --> 00:35:32,646 Shut up! 800 00:35:32,648 --> 00:35:34,368 Yossarian, we're approaching. You got that? 801 00:35:34,370 --> 00:35:35,809 I got it, I got it! 802 00:35:35,811 --> 00:35:37,651 MAN: Ten seconds. 803 00:35:37,653 --> 00:35:39,413 YOSSARIAN: Steady. 804 00:35:39,415 --> 00:35:40,894 MAN: Oh, shit! 805 00:35:40,896 --> 00:35:41,975 And... 806 00:35:41,977 --> 00:35:43,016 MAN: Drop them! 807 00:35:43,018 --> 00:35:44,418 Okay, bombs away! 808 00:35:44,420 --> 00:35:47,301 Okay, uh, McWatt, get us out of here! 809 00:35:47,303 --> 00:35:50,264 Get us the goddamn fuck out of here! 810 00:35:50,266 --> 00:35:52,626 Oh, shit! 811 00:35:52,628 --> 00:35:54,788 Oh, fuck! 812 00:35:54,790 --> 00:35:57,791 [dramatic music] 813 00:35:57,793 --> 00:36:04,840 ♪ ♪ 814 00:36:13,529 --> 00:36:15,850 His face... 815 00:36:15,852 --> 00:36:19,053 it was right there. 816 00:36:19,055 --> 00:36:22,056 And it was one of those moments when... 817 00:36:22,058 --> 00:36:24,538 you know... 818 00:36:24,540 --> 00:36:26,901 It couldn't have been more than half a second--less than that. 819 00:36:26,903 --> 00:36:28,905 But he was... 820 00:36:30,346 --> 00:36:32,468 I can see everything. 821 00:36:33,630 --> 00:36:37,193 Every hair in his nostril, that crooked tooth. 822 00:36:38,595 --> 00:36:40,354 And his eyes... 823 00:36:40,356 --> 00:36:43,798 there was no life flashing before them or any of that. 824 00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:45,802 It's just terror. 825 00:36:47,243 --> 00:36:49,245 That's all it was. 826 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,169 Shit. 827 00:36:54,611 --> 00:36:56,733 Yo-Yo, that ain't right. 828 00:37:20,997 --> 00:37:22,317 Gentlemen. [indistinct chatter] 829 00:37:22,319 --> 00:37:24,919 Gentlemen! [chatter continues] 830 00:37:24,921 --> 00:37:26,964 Gentlemen! 831 00:37:28,845 --> 00:37:30,887 Gentlemen! 832 00:37:34,851 --> 00:37:37,372 What's gotten into you fellas today, huh? 833 00:37:37,374 --> 00:37:38,894 [chatter continues] 834 00:37:38,896 --> 00:37:41,897 [chuckles] Come on, guys! 835 00:37:41,899 --> 00:37:43,418 Because-- 836 00:37:43,420 --> 00:37:44,579 [gunshot] 837 00:37:44,581 --> 00:37:46,583 [chatter stops] 838 00:37:54,511 --> 00:37:57,112 What is this, ladies' night out? 839 00:37:57,114 --> 00:37:58,553 Hmm? 840 00:37:58,555 --> 00:38:00,155 Is this ladies' night out, by any chance, 841 00:38:00,157 --> 00:38:03,200 Lieutenant Colonel Korn? No, sir, it is not. 842 00:38:04,481 --> 00:38:06,483 Are you ladies settled? 843 00:38:09,246 --> 00:38:11,328 All right, then. 844 00:38:12,650 --> 00:38:14,810 I'm Colonel Cathcart, and as of now, 845 00:38:14,812 --> 00:38:19,016 I'm in charge of you sorry-ass bunch of homosexuals. 846 00:38:20,938 --> 00:38:25,381 Now, I understand that you were very fond of Colonel Copeland. 847 00:38:25,383 --> 00:38:27,983 Well, guess what. Boo-hoo. I know Jerry Copeland. 848 00:38:27,985 --> 00:38:29,465 He's an outstanding commander, 849 00:38:29,467 --> 00:38:31,066 and he is an upstanding American. 850 00:38:31,068 --> 00:38:32,708 And guess what. 851 00:38:32,710 --> 00:38:34,910 Nothing changes, gentlemen. 852 00:38:34,912 --> 00:38:37,273 Oh, the faces may change. 853 00:38:37,275 --> 00:38:39,595 But our purpose and our resolve remain the same. 854 00:38:39,597 --> 00:38:43,118 We keep doing things the same way we've been doing them 855 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:47,443 because we are the United States Army Air Force. 856 00:38:47,445 --> 00:38:49,447 And what is our purpose? 857 00:38:53,651 --> 00:38:55,973 Anybody. 858 00:38:57,615 --> 00:38:59,415 Unbelievable. Soldier. 859 00:38:59,417 --> 00:39:02,778 To defeat the enemy, sir. To defeat the enemy. 860 00:39:02,780 --> 00:39:06,862 Now, some of us--some of us are making the ultimate sacrifice 861 00:39:06,864 --> 00:39:08,664 on land, on sea, and in the air, 862 00:39:08,666 --> 00:39:10,586 while others of us apparently think 863 00:39:10,588 --> 00:39:13,549 we are at the Ladies' Auxiliary fucking Fund-raiser! 864 00:39:13,551 --> 00:39:15,271 You are American officers! 865 00:39:15,273 --> 00:39:17,593 And the officers of no other army in the world 866 00:39:17,595 --> 00:39:19,235 can make that statement! 867 00:39:19,237 --> 00:39:21,239 You think about that. 868 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:25,922 Now, let's get down to brass tacks. 869 00:39:25,924 --> 00:39:29,005 I am gonna toughen you ladies up. 870 00:39:29,007 --> 00:39:31,489 And here's where I'm gonna start. 871 00:39:32,811 --> 00:39:35,932 I have decided to raise the mission count from 25 to 30. 872 00:39:35,934 --> 00:39:39,215 That's exciting, isn't it? You're goddamn right it is! 873 00:39:39,217 --> 00:39:41,337 30 missions effective immediately. 874 00:39:41,339 --> 00:39:43,139 We're winning this thing, gentlemen. 875 00:39:43,141 --> 00:39:45,141 We're beating the bastards. 876 00:39:45,143 --> 00:39:47,904 So three cheers for us. 877 00:39:47,906 --> 00:39:49,506 Hip, hip! 878 00:39:49,508 --> 00:39:51,588 A FEW VOICES: Hooray. 879 00:39:51,590 --> 00:39:52,589 Hip, hip! 880 00:39:52,591 --> 00:39:54,030 ALL: Hoorah! 881 00:39:54,032 --> 00:39:55,552 Hip, hip! ALL: Hoorah! 882 00:39:55,554 --> 00:39:57,754 [all shouting] 883 00:39:57,756 --> 00:40:00,957 You're goddamn right hoorah! 884 00:40:00,959 --> 00:40:03,960 [dramatic music] 885 00:40:03,962 --> 00:40:11,009 ♪ ♪ 886 00:40:13,692 --> 00:40:15,532 Doc, look, you got to help me. 887 00:40:15,534 --> 00:40:16,893 Let's forget about the liver. 888 00:40:16,895 --> 00:40:18,775 You can ground me if I'm crazy, right? 889 00:40:18,777 --> 00:40:20,897 Oh, sure, I have to. I have to ground anyone who's crazy. 890 00:40:20,899 --> 00:40:22,459 Then ground me. I'm crazy. 891 00:40:22,461 --> 00:40:24,461 You're not crazy. But I am! Ask anyone. 892 00:40:24,463 --> 00:40:25,542 They'll tell you how crazy I am. 893 00:40:25,544 --> 00:40:26,703 Yeah, but they're crazy. 894 00:40:26,705 --> 00:40:28,185 Then why don't you ground them? 895 00:40:28,187 --> 00:40:29,586 Why don't they ask me to ground them? 896 00:40:29,588 --> 00:40:30,907 'Cause they're crazy. That's why. 897 00:40:30,909 --> 00:40:32,389 Of course they're crazy. 898 00:40:32,391 --> 00:40:33,870 I just told you they're crazy, didn't I? 899 00:40:33,872 --> 00:40:35,712 And you can't have crazy people decide 900 00:40:35,714 --> 00:40:37,354 whether you're crazy or not. 901 00:40:37,356 --> 00:40:40,237 Is Orr crazy? Oh, he sure is. 902 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:41,718 Can you ground him? I sure can. 903 00:40:41,720 --> 00:40:43,440 But first he has to ask me to. 904 00:40:43,442 --> 00:40:46,203 Then why doesn't he ask you? Because he's crazy. 905 00:40:46,205 --> 00:40:48,685 You'd have to be crazy to want to keep flying combat missions. 906 00:40:48,687 --> 00:40:51,368 Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to. 907 00:40:51,370 --> 00:40:53,210 And that's all he has to do to be grounded? 908 00:40:53,212 --> 00:40:55,092 That's it. Just let him ask. 909 00:40:55,094 --> 00:40:57,214 And then you can ground him? No, then I can't ground him. 910 00:40:57,216 --> 00:40:59,456 Why not? Catch-22. 911 00:40:59,458 --> 00:41:02,539 Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy. 912 00:41:02,541 --> 00:41:06,263 Catch-22 specifies that a concern for one's own safety 913 00:41:06,265 --> 00:41:08,305 in the face of danger-- real and immediate-- 914 00:41:08,307 --> 00:41:10,427 is the process of a rational mind. 915 00:41:10,429 --> 00:41:11,909 What? 916 00:41:11,911 --> 00:41:14,031 Orr's crazy, and therefore he can get out 917 00:41:14,033 --> 00:41:16,273 of flying combat missions-- all he has to do is ask. 918 00:41:16,275 --> 00:41:19,156 But as soon as he asks, he's no longer crazy, 919 00:41:19,158 --> 00:41:20,838 and so he has to fly more missions. 920 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,520 What? 921 00:41:22,522 --> 00:41:24,562 Orr would be crazy to want to fly more missions 922 00:41:24,564 --> 00:41:26,363 and sane if he didn't, but if he's sane, 923 00:41:26,365 --> 00:41:28,205 then he has to fly them. 924 00:41:28,207 --> 00:41:29,647 If he flies them, then he's crazy, 925 00:41:29,649 --> 00:41:31,168 and so he doesn't have to. 926 00:41:31,170 --> 00:41:33,290 But if he doesn't want to, then he's sane, 927 00:41:33,292 --> 00:41:35,295 and so he has to. 928 00:41:41,581 --> 00:41:44,141 That's some catch, that Catch-22. 929 00:41:44,143 --> 00:41:46,145 It's the best there is. 930 00:41:50,430 --> 00:41:52,432 [door closes] 931 00:41:56,076 --> 00:41:59,077 [explosions] 932 00:41:59,079 --> 00:42:00,718 MAN: It's getting hot up here, fellas. 933 00:42:00,720 --> 00:42:02,480 MAN 2: Oh, shit! 934 00:42:02,482 --> 00:42:04,482 MAN 3: All right, boys, just hold it steady right here. 935 00:42:04,484 --> 00:42:06,404 Hold steady! Holy fuck. 936 00:42:06,406 --> 00:42:09,487 Closing in on target. 30 seconds to run. 937 00:42:09,489 --> 00:42:11,569 MAN: Okay, that's 30 seconds to run. 938 00:42:11,571 --> 00:42:13,771 30 seconds, fellas! 939 00:42:13,773 --> 00:42:17,815 [indistinct chatter] [bullets thudding] 940 00:42:17,817 --> 00:42:19,417 Hold steady. 941 00:42:19,419 --> 00:42:21,259 MAN 2: Okay, copy that! 942 00:42:21,261 --> 00:42:24,262 [gunfire, bullets ricocheting] 943 00:42:24,264 --> 00:42:27,307 [airplane engine rumbling] 944 00:42:31,631 --> 00:42:34,634 [air whooshing] 945 00:42:38,318 --> 00:42:39,878 [glass squeaking] 946 00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:41,800 MAN: ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 947 00:42:41,802 --> 00:42:45,243 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 948 00:42:45,245 --> 00:42:48,406 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 949 00:42:48,408 --> 00:42:50,408 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 950 00:42:50,410 --> 00:42:53,371 ♪ Take a trip to the moon on high ♪ 951 00:42:53,373 --> 00:42:56,134 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 952 00:42:56,136 --> 00:42:58,777 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 953 00:42:58,779 --> 00:43:01,540 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 954 00:43:01,542 --> 00:43:04,142 ♪ Dreaming, dreaming ♪ 955 00:43:04,144 --> 00:43:06,385 ♪ Watching the clouds roll by ♪ 956 00:43:06,387 --> 00:43:11,069 ♪ I'd be scheming, happy in the bright blue sky ♪ 957 00:43:11,071 --> 00:43:12,831 ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 958 00:43:12,833 --> 00:43:16,595 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 959 00:43:16,597 --> 00:43:19,358 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 960 00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,000 ♪ Get the angels swinging on the hops for me ♪ 961 00:43:22,002 --> 00:43:24,443 [scatting] 962 00:43:24,445 --> 00:43:26,485 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 963 00:43:26,487 --> 00:43:29,448 ♪ Take a trip to the moon on high ♪ 964 00:43:29,450 --> 00:43:32,211 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 965 00:43:32,213 --> 00:43:34,853 ♪ With a tra la, la, la, a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪ 966 00:43:34,855 --> 00:43:36,895 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 967 00:43:36,897 --> 00:43:38,777 ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 968 00:43:38,779 --> 00:43:42,741 ♪ I'd fly, fly, fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 969 00:43:42,743 --> 00:43:44,863 [drum solo] 970 00:43:44,865 --> 00:43:46,866 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 971 00:43:46,868 --> 00:43:50,069 ♪ Take a trip to the moon, oh, the moon on high ♪ 972 00:43:50,071 --> 00:43:53,112 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 973 00:43:53,114 --> 00:43:55,074 [drum solo] 974 00:43:55,076 --> 00:43:58,557 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 975 00:43:58,559 --> 00:44:00,720 [scatting] 976 00:44:00,722 --> 00:44:03,322 ♪ Watching those clouds roll by ♪ 977 00:44:03,324 --> 00:44:05,524 ♪ I'd be scheming ♪ 978 00:44:05,526 --> 00:44:07,486 ♪ I'm happy in the bright blue sky ♪ 979 00:44:07,488 --> 00:44:10,529 ♪ If I only had wings, wings, wings, wings ♪ 980 00:44:10,531 --> 00:44:13,332 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 981 00:44:13,334 --> 00:44:17,577 [drum solo] 982 00:44:17,579 --> 00:44:20,339 [scatting] 983 00:44:20,341 --> 00:44:22,341 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 984 00:44:22,343 --> 00:44:24,223 ♪ If I only had wings ♪ 985 00:44:24,225 --> 00:44:28,588 ♪ I'd fly, fly, fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 986 00:44:28,590 --> 00:44:30,550 [drum solo] 987 00:44:30,552 --> 00:44:32,512 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 988 00:44:32,514 --> 00:44:35,875 ♪ Take a trip to the moon, oh, the moon on high ♪ 989 00:44:35,877 --> 00:44:39,158 ♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪ 990 00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,361 [drum solo] 991 00:44:41,363 --> 00:44:44,764 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 992 00:44:44,766 --> 00:44:46,926 [scatting] 993 00:44:46,928 --> 00:44:49,449 ♪ Watching those clouds roll by ♪ 994 00:44:49,451 --> 00:44:51,931 ♪ I'd be scheming ♪ 995 00:44:51,933 --> 00:44:54,134 ♪ I'm happy in the bright blue sky ♪ 996 00:44:54,136 --> 00:44:57,137 ♪ If I only had wings, wings, wings, wings ♪ 997 00:44:57,139 --> 00:44:59,899 ♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪ 998 00:44:59,901 --> 00:45:04,784 [drum solo] 999 00:45:04,786 --> 00:45:07,187 [scatting] 1000 00:45:07,189 --> 00:45:09,269 ♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪ 1001 00:45:09,271 --> 00:45:13,435 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a pair of wings for me ♪ 1002 00:45:13,437 --> 00:45:18,437 Subtitles by explosiveskull 73815

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.