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*THE SIMPSONS*
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Season 30 Episode 19
Episode Title: "Girl's in the Band"
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D'oh!
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00:00:38,151 --> 00:00:39,118
Each year,
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00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,774
one graduate receives
the prestigious.
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00:00:41,862 --> 00:00:44,970
Golden Baton Award
for the most impressive
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00:00:45,058 --> 00:00:46,048
future conductor.
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00:00:46,136 --> 00:00:50,392
But this year,
we have two worthy recipients.
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Two?
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00:00:52,464 --> 00:00:53,524
That's right.
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00:00:53,659 --> 00:00:57,392
Gustavo Dudamel and
local wunderkind,
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00:00:57,488 --> 00:01:00,651
Mr. Dewey Largo.
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00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:05,253
I'm sure you will each achieve
tremendous renown.
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00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,183
No, wait.
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I believe that one of you will.
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And the other will fail
and have a horrible life
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00:01:13,190 --> 00:01:15,956
as a public school
music teacher.
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Oh... Dudamel.
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00:01:23,159 --> 00:01:26,157
Dudamel.
Yo-Yo Ma!
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00:01:26,245 --> 00:01:28,242
Oh, Dewey, my pouty poppet.
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00:01:28,330 --> 00:01:30,071
You're having
that dream again?
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00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:32,719
Oh, it's so cruel
that my only triumph
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has become
my recurring nightmare.
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Oh, darling, you're cursed
with the memory of an elephant.
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00:01:37,580 --> 00:01:39,602
And the wrinkles to match.
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00:01:39,690 --> 00:01:41,930
Can't you just wake me
with a slice of melon
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00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:43,313
and a drop of affection?
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00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:46,213
Whatever you say, Lord Grumpy
of the Morning Breath.
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00:01:53,268 --> 00:01:55,596
Now, Petal, don't forget
to call the dog walker.
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00:01:55,684 --> 00:01:56,705
Tell him to come early.
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00:01:56,793 --> 00:01:58,557
And easy on the leash.
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00:01:58,645 --> 00:01:59,948
Oh, it's on my list.
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00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,612
Also, don't forget to call
someone about the water bill.
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I suspect a sputtering spigot.
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00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:07,557
You know,
you are home all day.
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00:02:07,812 --> 00:02:09,125
Hence my annoyance.
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00:02:09,228 --> 00:02:11,768
Now, if you'll excuse me,
Pinterest awaits.
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00:02:13,870 --> 00:02:15,745
Oh, shut up, Sir Winston,
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00:02:15,833 --> 00:02:17,815
or there'll be
no cigar for you.
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Dear Mr. Largo,
I am the musical director
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of the Capital City
Philharmonic.
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I've heard you've got talent.
Big talent, major chops,
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00:02:32,692 --> 00:02:34,323
the goods.
Aah!
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00:02:35,635 --> 00:02:37,893
So I'll be attending
your concert tomorrow night.
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00:02:37,981 --> 00:02:40,588
Intriguingly yours,
Victor Kleskow.
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00:02:44,545 --> 00:02:46,760
P.S. I will be bringing
an outside beverage.
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Large, icy, nonalcoholic.
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Okay, gang.
49
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:54,579
Our recital's tomorrow,
and we're gonna be ready.
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00:02:54,667 --> 00:02:57,184
And if you play the way
I know you're capable of,
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00:02:57,272 --> 00:02:59,018
you'll never see me again.
52
00:03:01,489 --> 00:03:03,739
You have hidden talent
bubbling inside you,
53
00:03:03,827 --> 00:03:05,942
and this baton will pop it right out.
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00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:09,501
Sherri, more fortissimo.
Terri, more pianissimo.
55
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,635
Milhouse, don't forget to tune your...
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What the heck are you playing?
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No one really knows.
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00:03:14,997 --> 00:03:17,073
Well, then, wear it on your head.
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00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,534
Here we go.
I'm gonna do something
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00:03:20,622 --> 00:03:23,338
I've never done as a teacher
before: actually try.
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00:03:23,465 --> 00:03:25,432
One, two, three, four.
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00:03:58,783 --> 00:04:00,892
Are you sure
we're at the right school?
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00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:03,712
I mean,
they sound good.
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00:04:04,852 --> 00:04:07,493
Oh, my gosh,
it's bearable.
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00:04:16,583 --> 00:04:18,248
Sir? Did it move you?
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00:04:18,336 --> 00:04:21,018
Skinner,
didn't I ask for a buffer chair
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00:04:21,106 --> 00:04:23,303
between you and me
at all of these events?
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00:04:23,391 --> 00:04:25,155
Uh-uh. Buffer.
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00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,642
Brilliant.
How did you manage it?
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00:04:30,878 --> 00:04:32,068
It was good,
wasn't it?
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00:04:32,156 --> 00:04:34,748
Let's just say I separated
the wheat from the chaff.
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00:04:34,925 --> 00:04:37,154
I'm in the F hole.
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00:04:39,244 --> 00:04:41,655
Oh, Salieri,
patron saint of losers,
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00:04:41,743 --> 00:04:43,490
runners-up
and also-rans,
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00:04:43,578 --> 00:04:45,626
please let this Garfunkel
become a Simon,
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00:04:45,714 --> 00:04:47,295
this Pepsi become
a Coke,
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00:04:47,383 --> 00:04:50,123
and this ugly duckling
conduct Swan Lake.
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00:04:52,001 --> 00:04:53,497
Hi. Victor Kleskow.
We're conductors,
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00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:55,260
so don't shake hands;
just a friendly wave
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00:04:55,348 --> 00:04:56,779
on the beat of four,
three, two and done.
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00:04:56,866 --> 00:04:58,129
I'm honored, maestro.
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00:04:58,217 --> 00:04:59,174
Let's cut to the chase.
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That was good...
middle school good.
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00:05:00,598 --> 00:05:02,878
Tonight, I witnessed
a once-in-a-semester talent
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00:05:02,966 --> 00:05:05,003
that I must add to
my organization.
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00:05:05,091 --> 00:05:06,378
- Dewey...
- Uh-huh.
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00:05:06,466 --> 00:05:09,415
Have to keep talking,
or can I meet Lisa Simpson?
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00:05:09,562 --> 00:05:11,065
But-but-but
she's a child.
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00:05:11,153 --> 00:05:13,245
Yes, I'm scouting talent
for our youth philharmonic.
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00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,159
Surely, you didn't think
I wanted you?
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00:05:15,382 --> 00:05:16,846
No, no, of course not.
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00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:18,073
Lisa's right over there.
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00:05:18,161 --> 00:05:19,862
Red dress,
intelligent expression.
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00:05:19,950 --> 00:05:21,221
Can't miss her.
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00:05:25,413 --> 00:05:27,917
Mr. Largo, he picked me.
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00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:29,815
Uh, I'm sorry.
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00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,335
I'm really glad
you get to represent us.
98
00:05:32,423 --> 00:05:35,378
It's like a little piece of me
is taking a baby practice step.
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00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:37,447
That is so generous.
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00:05:37,568 --> 00:05:41,073
Yes, yes, there is an upside
to having a broken spirit.
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00:05:41,961 --> 00:05:44,438
Mr. Kleskow said
my articulation
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00:05:44,526 --> 00:05:46,225
was the best
he's ever heard.
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00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:49,987
He said I sounded like a young
Cannonball Adderley.
104
00:05:50,075 --> 00:05:52,839
Ooh, is that the raccoon
on Saturday morning cartoons?
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00:05:52,927 --> 00:05:55,324
I'm talking about
the famous jazz musician.
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00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:57,572
I don't know
who you're talking about.
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00:05:57,679 --> 00:06:00,441
The guy I'm thinking of
would make himself into a ball
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00:06:00,529 --> 00:06:02,473
and knock
over all the crows.
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00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:06,787
Homie, this class is
30 miles each way.
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00:06:06,897 --> 00:06:07,996
We can do it!
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00:06:08,084 --> 00:06:09,831
I'll practice in the car.
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00:06:09,922 --> 00:06:12,371
60 miles in the car
with Lisa practicing.
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00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,486
I've got a symphony
for you.
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00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,152
♪ Sucks to be you ♪
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00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,332
♪ Sucks to be you,
sucks to be you ♪
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00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:20,349
♪ Sucks to be you,
sucks to be you. ♪
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00:06:21,608 --> 00:06:24,451
We can't afford a babysitter
every day.
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00:06:24,539 --> 00:06:26,087
Bart will have to come
along.
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00:06:26,293 --> 00:06:27,591
And Maggie, too.
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00:06:27,679 --> 00:06:28,959
Well, I got to ask.
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00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:33,359
Should we really sacrifice
everything for a gifted child?
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00:06:33,455 --> 00:06:35,701
We'll always regret it
if we don't.
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00:06:35,789 --> 00:06:38,270
- Okay.
- I wanted you to argue with me.
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00:06:38,358 --> 00:06:41,951
Youth orchestra
costs $200 a month.
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00:06:42,039 --> 00:06:43,826
Where's that money gonna
come from?
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00:06:43,971 --> 00:06:46,795
Well, I have an idea,
but you might not like it.
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00:06:46,883 --> 00:06:48,646
Remember the show Breaking Bad?
128
00:06:48,796 --> 00:06:51,357
About a dad
who was desperate for money?
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00:06:51,490 --> 00:06:53,021
Homer, no.
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00:06:53,109 --> 00:06:54,607
Marge, yes,
I can do it.
131
00:06:54,695 --> 00:06:56,375
I can sell my box set.
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00:06:56,463 --> 00:06:58,912
We haven't even listened
to the commentaries.
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00:06:59,042 --> 00:07:00,191
Okay, not that.
134
00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:01,880
I could always switch to
a double shift
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00:07:01,968 --> 00:07:03,349
and work nights
at the plant.
136
00:07:03,437 --> 00:07:05,232
Isn't that dangerous
to your health?
137
00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,735
You think
I'm in danger?
138
00:07:06,823 --> 00:07:09,576
I am the danger.
I'm the one who knocks.
139
00:07:09,668 --> 00:07:11,249
Well, that's so protective.
140
00:07:11,352 --> 00:07:13,537
It's also a quote from Breaking Bad.
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00:07:15,357 --> 00:07:17,216
You are really far behind.
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00:07:31,976 --> 00:07:33,755
And Jesus said
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00:07:33,843 --> 00:07:35,787
unto the Samaritan woman...
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00:07:42,427 --> 00:07:44,388
Good, good.
When the Spanish station
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00:07:44,476 --> 00:07:47,888
overpowers the Christian one,
we're getting close to the city.
146
00:07:47,999 --> 00:07:49,521
Why do I have to be here?
147
00:07:49,609 --> 00:07:51,576
I specifically
didn't get good at anything
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00:07:51,664 --> 00:07:53,420
to avoid drives like this.
149
00:07:53,508 --> 00:07:56,607
If you were me,
would you trust you home alone?
150
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,201
Hmm.
151
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,302
- Who's the new girl?
- What does she play?
152
00:08:09,389 --> 00:08:10,552
Too small for a tuba.
153
00:08:10,646 --> 00:08:13,196
- Too big for a flute.
- Well, maybe it's her lunch.
154
00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,396
- Hi. I'm Lisa Simpson.
- Shh.
155
00:08:15,484 --> 00:08:17,154
He might hear you.
156
00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:20,724
- Are you okay?
- Don't tell him I'm sick.
157
00:08:20,812 --> 00:08:22,740
The sick are left to die.
158
00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:27,341
Wow, even the violas
are tense.
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00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:30,769
Everyone, say hello to
Lisa Simpson.
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00:08:30,857 --> 00:08:32,886
She's an actual musician,
so she will be
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00:08:32,974 --> 00:08:35,357
a strange and wonderful creature
to the rest of you.
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00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:36,915
We'll start with
one of the classics.
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00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:39,662
Theme from Knight Rider,
second movement, bar 47.
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00:08:39,750 --> 00:08:41,720
One, two, three, four.
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00:08:46,201 --> 00:08:47,599
I may have misspoken.
166
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:49,522
Miss Simpson, was that an F sharp
167
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,623
or a G flat that you played?
168
00:08:51,711 --> 00:08:53,154
Well, that's a trick question,
169
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:55,357
because they're the same.
170
00:08:55,445 --> 00:08:57,995
Oh, we have a music scholar
in our midst.
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00:08:58,083 --> 00:09:00,076
You're right,
they are the same.
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00:09:00,216 --> 00:09:03,375
And if only you had played
either one of them!
173
00:09:04,082 --> 00:09:05,301
Sorry?
174
00:09:05,398 --> 00:09:06,740
No, no, no. It's my fault.
175
00:09:06,828 --> 00:09:08,248
I've been too soft on you,
Lisa.
176
00:09:08,351 --> 00:09:10,772
I've been letting you coast
for almost two minutes.
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00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:13,916
That ends now. Lisa alone,
theme from Moonlighting,
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00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:15,796
second movement, andante!
179
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:23,315
Ow. Ow. Ow.
180
00:09:23,403 --> 00:09:25,015
- Ow. Ow.
- Bart.
181
00:09:25,103 --> 00:09:27,278
- Bart.
- Just killing time.
182
00:09:27,366 --> 00:09:29,249
Ow. Ow. Ow.
183
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:30,866
Ow. Ow.
184
00:09:31,616 --> 00:09:32,740
Lisa.
185
00:09:32,828 --> 00:09:34,632
Lisa, sweetie, are you okay?
186
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:37,944
He yelled at me, humiliated me
in front of everyone.
187
00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:38,983
And then...
188
00:09:39,165 --> 00:09:42,015
I never played better!
189
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:45,147
Aw, so we're doing this
every day?
190
00:09:45,235 --> 00:09:47,350
- I guess so.
- Oh, man.
191
00:09:47,438 --> 00:09:49,354
I've already got
seat cushion butt.
192
00:09:49,593 --> 00:09:51,366
Look. I sat on a nickel.
193
00:09:51,454 --> 00:09:52,874
You can see the date.
194
00:09:52,962 --> 00:09:55,530
Uh!
That's a buffalo nickel.
195
00:09:55,618 --> 00:09:57,140
It's really valuable.
196
00:09:57,228 --> 00:09:58,280
Threw it in the gutter.
197
00:09:58,368 --> 00:10:00,311
Coins are boring.
198
00:10:07,748 --> 00:10:10,577
Hey, welcome to the night shift.
What are you in for?
199
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,171
Because I hit the jackpot.
200
00:10:12,259 --> 00:10:15,308
My kid's got a big future
with the jazz.
201
00:10:15,396 --> 00:10:18,145
Oh, I hear you, you'll do
anything for your kids.
202
00:10:18,233 --> 00:10:19,448
Then they turn on you.
203
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:22,304
Well, I am through.
Happily estranged.
204
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,406
Is that my kids?
Oh, boy.
205
00:10:25,681 --> 00:10:27,262
Steam valve.
206
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:28,733
It's never them.
207
00:10:28,821 --> 00:10:31,327
It's pretty dark in here.
Can we turn on some more lights?
208
00:10:31,415 --> 00:10:33,725
Uh, no. The company
can't afford the power.
209
00:10:33,813 --> 00:10:35,428
Aren't we a power company?
210
00:10:35,516 --> 00:10:38,061
Never get high
on your own supply.
211
00:10:42,853 --> 00:10:45,358
Uh, Mom, I think Maggie
wants to go home.
212
00:10:45,446 --> 00:10:47,929
Maggie,
is that what you want?
213
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,343
Let's go home! Let's go home!
214
00:10:53,504 --> 00:10:56,167
I'm sorry, is this annoying you?
215
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:59,077
Ma'am, day care is happy
to watch your son.
216
00:10:59,165 --> 00:11:00,811
Bart Simpson,
well-behaved child.
217
00:11:00,899 --> 00:11:02,046
Please don't Google me.
218
00:11:02,134 --> 00:11:04,038
In you go!
219
00:11:04,861 --> 00:11:07,876
Who are you losers, and why am I
locked in here with you?
220
00:11:07,964 --> 00:11:09,413
We're the siblings.
221
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:11,936
Our brothers and sisters
are the talented ones.
222
00:11:12,024 --> 00:11:15,505
Do you know what it's like being
second banana to a third chair?
223
00:11:15,593 --> 00:11:17,272
Shut up, Miles.
224
00:11:18,777 --> 00:11:20,788
Hey, I don't belong here.
225
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,465
You're one of us.
226
00:11:25,749 --> 00:11:29,452
One of us. One of us.
227
00:11:29,540 --> 00:11:32,024
- Afterthought.
- Also-ran.
228
00:11:32,112 --> 00:11:33,358
Second string.
229
00:11:33,454 --> 00:11:35,483
Unwanted child.
230
00:11:39,577 --> 00:11:41,991
You're pretty well-dressed for a kid.
231
00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:43,108
I'm a parent.
232
00:11:43,196 --> 00:11:46,155
A prize-winning novelist
with no musical talent.
233
00:11:48,061 --> 00:11:49,461
All right, first order of business,
234
00:11:49,548 --> 00:11:50,788
do we have
any chair challenges?
235
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:52,999
Excuse me, what's a chair chall...
236
00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:55,327
Great, our first volunteer,
out for blood.
237
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:57,913
Lisa versus Brian,
winner gets first chair.
238
00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:01,108
- Lisa, how could you?
- No, I didn't mean to.
239
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:04,113
Go, go, go, or I'll call you
both Ubers back to Loser Town.
240
00:12:04,270 --> 00:12:06,952
Damn it, surge pricing.
I'll call it in later. Go!
241
00:12:12,248 --> 00:12:13,364
I've heard enough.
242
00:12:13,452 --> 00:12:16,606
Brian, that was perfect...
for second chair.
243
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:18,124
Lisa, you have his spot.
244
00:12:18,212 --> 00:12:20,495
- I had a good run.
- No, you didn't.
245
00:12:20,583 --> 00:12:22,497
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
246
00:12:22,612 --> 00:12:24,473
Never apologize for talent.
247
00:12:24,561 --> 00:12:27,205
Did Mozart apologize?
I don't know. I wasn't there.
248
00:12:27,293 --> 00:12:29,228
And even if I was,
I'd have been pushing a plow.
249
00:12:29,377 --> 00:12:31,504
You think everyone gets
to hang out with Mozart?
250
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,931
Whoo-hoo! First chair.
251
00:12:41,085 --> 00:12:43,322
Well, I'm off to the night shift.
252
00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:46,932
I'll miss you most of all,
prime-time TV.
253
00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:50,336
- Dad, do my feelings matter?
- Of course they do.
254
00:12:50,424 --> 00:12:52,951
We just don't have
as much time for them as usual.
255
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,846
Go ahead, tell me
what you're thinking.
256
00:12:55,039 --> 00:12:57,288
- Well, I...
- I hear you, I understand you,
257
00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:59,090
- and I love you.
- But I...
258
00:12:59,177 --> 00:13:01,259
Just put the rest
on my Father's Day card.
259
00:13:01,346 --> 00:13:03,361
Mwah.
I'll see you at breakfast.
260
00:13:05,006 --> 00:13:07,268
There's nothing worse
than being the parent
261
00:13:07,356 --> 00:13:09,360
of a kid with promise.
262
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:13,504
Oh, gosh.
I've been so selfish.
263
00:13:13,592 --> 00:13:16,308
That's right. The only one
who should monopolize
264
00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:18,577
this family's time
and attention is me,
265
00:13:18,664 --> 00:13:20,391
because I could go
at any moment.
266
00:13:20,479 --> 00:13:21,746
Unless I keep talking.
267
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,543
Talking, talking, talking.
268
00:13:23,631 --> 00:13:26,432
That's what keeps
the grim reaper at bay.
269
00:13:28,135 --> 00:13:31,666
I saw quite a bit of the
grim reaper back in the war.
270
00:13:31,768 --> 00:13:35,027
Back then, we called him
The Ticket Out of Germany.
271
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:38,502
But the seating was cramped
and the food was lousy.
272
00:13:38,590 --> 00:13:41,611
And that was the start
of American Airlines.
273
00:13:45,234 --> 00:13:47,565
¿Accidentes? No problema.
274
00:13:47,653 --> 00:13:51,111
Teléfono ocho-ocho-ocho ocho-ocho...
275
00:13:51,533 --> 00:13:53,954
Maggie, what are you doing?
276
00:13:54,838 --> 00:13:56,620
I'll help her, Mom.
277
00:13:57,454 --> 00:13:58,935
Help! Help!
278
00:13:59,023 --> 00:14:02,368
I was promised ice cream
50 miles ago.
279
00:14:03,649 --> 00:14:04,804
We're here.
280
00:14:10,044 --> 00:14:11,290
Homie?
281
00:14:11,735 --> 00:14:14,380
Everything's breakfast
all the time.
282
00:14:14,468 --> 00:14:17,336
Eggs.
All I'm eating are eggs.
283
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:20,047
I think it's turning my skin yellow.
284
00:14:20,186 --> 00:14:23,069
Homie, are we sacrificing
our family's happiness
285
00:14:23,157 --> 00:14:25,038
for the sake of one member?
286
00:14:25,186 --> 00:14:27,443
When Lisa's
making millions of dollars
287
00:14:27,531 --> 00:14:30,429
playing for the Utah Jazz,
it'll be worth it.
288
00:14:30,517 --> 00:14:33,434
The Jazz is a basketball team.
289
00:14:33,522 --> 00:14:34,867
No, it's...
290
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:44,234
Oh, my God,
what have we done?
291
00:15:13,106 --> 00:15:14,960
Okay, listen up,
you guys want to be
292
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,630
in your siblings' shadows
your whole life?
293
00:15:16,717 --> 00:15:17,831
Yes.
294
00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:19,637
It's cool in the shadow.
295
00:15:19,725 --> 00:15:21,508
Well, I'm gonna tell you
how to get attention.
296
00:15:21,595 --> 00:15:23,885
- Are you sure?
- That sounds risky.
297
00:15:23,973 --> 00:15:25,458
I don't know about that.
298
00:15:25,546 --> 00:15:27,638
Here's what you do:
misbehave.
299
00:15:27,726 --> 00:15:29,362
Call your dad by his first name.
300
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:30,926
If it's sticky, spill it.
301
00:15:31,021 --> 00:15:32,528
Make a shirttail wiener.
302
00:15:33,369 --> 00:15:34,942
- Yes!
- I'll do it!
303
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,057
Yeah!
304
00:15:36,145 --> 00:15:37,434
Simpson, a word?
305
00:15:37,541 --> 00:15:40,746
About your time with this band,
I am afraid it's almost up.
306
00:15:40,834 --> 00:15:41,989
Are you kicking me out?
307
00:15:42,077 --> 00:15:44,215
I wish. Ending people's
musical careers
308
00:15:44,309 --> 00:15:45,604
is why I got into music.
309
00:15:45,692 --> 00:15:47,455
But no, your sin
is having a birthday soon.
310
00:15:47,543 --> 00:15:49,404
You have to audition to move up
to the next group.
311
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,371
- How old are they?
- Nine to 14.
312
00:15:51,459 --> 00:15:53,040
And then what's the group after that?
313
00:15:53,171 --> 00:15:55,186
Fame, fortune,
an affair with Hans Zimmer.
314
00:15:55,274 --> 00:15:58,053
Well, sir, I'm ready
for all but the last one.
315
00:15:58,141 --> 00:15:59,838
You think you're ready?
In nine to 14,
316
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,413
we play notes
you've never heard of.
317
00:16:01,501 --> 00:16:04,686
M-flat, J-sharp, V, cursive G,
Frank, Frank Natural.
318
00:16:04,873 --> 00:16:06,390
And those are just
the ones you can hear.
319
00:16:06,477 --> 00:16:08,475
I know you're playing
mental games with me,
320
00:16:08,655 --> 00:16:10,100
and I take it as flattery.
321
00:16:10,188 --> 00:16:12,913
Smart. Always smart.
Well, this isn't a game!
322
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:14,519
It'll cost your parents
more money,
323
00:16:14,606 --> 00:16:16,621
and it's a half hour
farther from everywhere.
324
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:19,991
Oh, well, I guess I better
talk to my family, then,
325
00:16:20,108 --> 00:16:22,639
and tell them the,
uh... the good news.
326
00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:24,905
Auditions are Tuesday.
I sense you're conflicted.
327
00:16:24,993 --> 00:16:27,442
I was conflicted once.
Band leader or prison guard?
328
00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,834
I chose the one
where I could be more cruel.
329
00:16:31,976 --> 00:16:35,060
So tired and irritable.
330
00:16:35,249 --> 00:16:38,045
Shut up. You shut up.
331
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:21,013
The usual, sir?
332
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,252
Thank you, Lloyd.
333
00:17:22,340 --> 00:17:23,857
And let me say,
no one enables
334
00:17:23,945 --> 00:17:26,027
a descent into madness
better than you.
335
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,393
I understand the family's
336
00:17:27,481 --> 00:17:29,404
getting to be a bit of a problem.
337
00:17:29,492 --> 00:17:31,724
Yeah, but what are
you gonna do?
338
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:35,591
I hear radiation poisoning
is a painless way to go.
339
00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:39,404
Maybe sprinkle a little
plutonium in the salad.
340
00:17:39,565 --> 00:17:42,048
- I don't eat salad.
- Exactly.
341
00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:44,943
I see.
342
00:17:46,677 --> 00:17:48,716
- No, I don't.
- Kill your family.
343
00:17:48,826 --> 00:17:51,182
- How do I do that?
- With the plutonium.
344
00:17:51,269 --> 00:17:53,552
- Well, where do I put it?
- In the salad.
345
00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:57,216
- To what end?
- To kill your family!
346
00:17:57,304 --> 00:17:59,986
Just what are you driving at?
347
00:18:11,649 --> 00:18:13,137
Simpson, what the hell
are you doing?
348
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,489
Get back to your post.
349
00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:16,200
Geez, I nearly went insane
350
00:18:16,348 --> 00:18:19,278
just to put my kid
in an after-school music class.
351
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,231
I'm beginning to think
it's not worth it.
352
00:18:21,329 --> 00:18:23,878
- Please, don't fire me.
- Oh, don't worry.
353
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:26,590
What happens on the night shift
stays on the night shift.
354
00:18:26,678 --> 00:18:28,593
I'm not gonna hurt you.
355
00:18:28,681 --> 00:18:31,997
I'm just gonna
bash your brains in.
356
00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:35,176
There's our head
of human resources now.
357
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:40,239
Well, this is it.
358
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,723
If she makes it, it's five more
years at least of driving.
359
00:18:43,855 --> 00:18:47,028
I gave Maggie a Sketch 'n' Etch
to calm her down.
360
00:18:47,496 --> 00:18:49,817
Oh, my God, she has talent, too.
361
00:18:49,948 --> 00:18:52,485
- What are you looking at?
- Uh, nothing.
362
00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:55,449
Make something else.
363
00:18:58,621 --> 00:19:01,184
I'm doing it.
I'm gonna make it.
364
00:19:01,339 --> 00:19:04,457
Oh, but if I keep being this good,
365
00:19:04,545 --> 00:19:08,137
it'll mean more practice
and more driving
366
00:19:08,296 --> 00:19:11,340
and more resentful looks
from the baby.
367
00:19:11,428 --> 00:19:13,444
Wonder what I'm gonna do.
368
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,239
Ugh, I hate defining moments.
369
00:19:22,372 --> 00:19:23,668
Stop! That's it, you failed.
370
00:19:23,756 --> 00:19:25,185
Have fun playing
for nickels on the street
371
00:19:25,272 --> 00:19:26,454
at the corner of Good
But Not Great
372
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:27,822
and Disappointment Boulevard.
373
00:19:27,910 --> 00:19:29,390
You don't exist for me
anymore.
374
00:19:29,634 --> 00:19:31,549
You're pretty mean
for a teacher.
375
00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,874
Yeah. You should see me
as a father.
376
00:19:34,585 --> 00:19:36,285
So, guess this is the last time
377
00:19:36,375 --> 00:19:37,996
we're doing this drive.
378
00:19:38,084 --> 00:19:40,034
Lisa, are you okay?
379
00:19:40,122 --> 00:19:42,301
Sure. Fine.
Never been better.
380
00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:45,364
Hmm. You weren't crazy enough
to fail on purpose
381
00:19:45,496 --> 00:19:47,866
just to make life better
for the rest of us?
382
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,134
I'm fine.
Probably, if I'd gotten it,
383
00:19:50,221 --> 00:19:53,305
all that work would have
killed my love for music.
384
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:56,606
Or I think you would have gotten
better and loved it more.
385
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:58,532
I know I loved that.
386
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:00,821
And I love that
I drove you to violence.
387
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,182
Don't make me
come back there!
388
00:20:04,269 --> 00:20:05,584
You wouldn't fit, fatso.
389
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:07,140
Oh, wouldn't I?
390
00:20:12,670 --> 00:20:14,719
Maggie, are we good?
391
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,180
Oh, wow.
392
00:20:18,048 --> 00:20:20,437
Sync corrections by srjanapala
393
00:20:30,581 --> 00:20:33,362
Why does this car
always smell of cheese puffs?
394
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,977
Is someone sad-snacking
when he drives alone?
395
00:20:36,065 --> 00:20:38,313
It's not like I have anyone
making me breakfast.
396
00:20:38,453 --> 00:20:40,242
But we're almost home,
so close your eyes.
397
00:20:40,330 --> 00:20:42,203
There's a big surprise.
Come on, close them.
398
00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:43,351
This is silly.
399
00:20:43,439 --> 00:20:45,609
- Close them!
- Oh, Petal.
400
00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:47,992
Surprise.
401
00:20:48,466 --> 00:20:50,070
A man, for me?
402
00:20:50,158 --> 00:20:52,921
No. I changed the locks,
and I'm kicking you out.
403
00:20:53,009 --> 00:20:55,765
But-But who gets Sir Winston?
404
00:20:56,353 --> 00:20:58,476
His name is Poochini.
405
00:20:58,566 --> 00:21:00,421
Very well.
Poochini it is.
406
00:21:01,503 --> 00:21:05,156
That's all I ever wanted.
I love you.
30035
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