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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,467 --> 00:00:03,668 ♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 2 00:00:03,736 --> 00:00:06,671 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪ 3 00:00:06,739 --> 00:00:10,142 ♪ travel down the road and back again ♪ 4 00:00:10,209 --> 00:00:12,077 ♪ your heart is true ♪ 5 00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:16,948 ♪ you're a pal and a confidante ♪ 6 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,419 ♪ and if you threw a party ♪ 7 00:00:20,486 --> 00:00:24,389 ♪ invited everyone you knew ♪ 8 00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:26,224 ♪ you would see ♪ 9 00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,893 ♪ the biggest gift would be from me ♪ 10 00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:30,995 ♪ and the card attached would say ♪ 11 00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,331 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪ 12 00:00:33,399 --> 00:00:35,367 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪ 13 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:41,039 ♪ thank you for bein' a friend ♪♪ 14 00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:48,646 Captioning made possible by witt/thomas/harris productions, cbs television network, 15 00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:51,649 And 1992 nci caption club/ grantsmanship 16 00:00:59,992 --> 00:01:02,894 Man, this is my least favorite time of year-- 17 00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:04,929 Spring break. It's the worst. 18 00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:07,999 People drunk everywhere. Orgies in the streets. 19 00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,034 Kids running around in togas. 20 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,905 It's not even like miami. It's like ancient rome. 21 00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:15,907 Ancient rome was never like that. 22 00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:19,511 Now and then we'd get a bad emperor, but... 23 00:01:20,679 --> 00:01:24,116 I'm showing my age, aren't I? 24 00:01:24,183 --> 00:01:26,618 This year I'm ready for these college kids. 25 00:01:26,685 --> 00:01:30,122 If they try sneaking beer in, they'll have to go by me. 26 00:01:30,189 --> 00:01:32,957 Try sneaking a friend in, they'll have to go by me. 27 00:01:33,025 --> 00:01:35,793 Or try skinny-dipping in the pool, they'll-- 28 00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:37,295 Have to go by me. 29 00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,566 Boys, I'll show you up to your rooms. 30 00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:45,970 Hey, hey, hey! No more than five guys at a time. 31 00:01:46,038 --> 00:01:48,373 Don't overload the elevator either. 32 00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,408 Sophia, these are children. 33 00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:53,378 I have made it abundantly clear to these gentlemen 34 00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,914 That I'm a trained working professional of this hotel, 35 00:01:56,982 --> 00:01:59,884 And I'm only here to provide professional services. 36 00:01:59,952 --> 00:02:01,419 In spite of your insinuations, 37 00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:03,988 I'm neither a tart nor a floozy. 38 00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,991 I'm a massage technician. 39 00:02:08,994 --> 00:02:11,929 You know, when kids look at people my age, 40 00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:14,032 They have certain expectations. 41 00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:17,135 You feel an obligation to be mature and wise. 42 00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,137 No, mean. Mean as sin. 43 00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,940 Old people scare the hell out of 'em. 44 00:02:23,008 --> 00:02:26,244 Hey, you. No running indoors. 45 00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,313 What a rush. 46 00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:32,450 Can I help you? 47 00:02:32,518 --> 00:02:35,453 Hi, my name's benson. I'm checking in. 48 00:02:35,521 --> 00:02:38,456 O.K. Benson. You're in room 201. 49 00:02:38,524 --> 00:02:41,459 What do you got in the trunk... Benson? 50 00:02:41,527 --> 00:02:42,460 Clothes. 51 00:02:42,528 --> 00:02:45,163 Let me tell you who you're dealing with. 52 00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:48,099 I'm roland wilson. I know every trick in the book. 53 00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:51,035 You've got a friend here you're sneaking in. 54 00:02:51,103 --> 00:02:52,437 No, I don't. Honest. 55 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,573 Let's have a look-see inside. 56 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,907 There's no need-- 57 00:02:55,974 --> 00:02:57,175 Open it, benson. 58 00:03:00,979 --> 00:03:04,482 Look. I just want to check in to...Room 201! 59 00:03:05,984 --> 00:03:08,253 All right. You're clean... 60 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:11,256 But I'm going to be watching you. 61 00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:16,695 College kids, huh? 62 00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,496 Yeah, but I'm up to them. 63 00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:20,965 I had my party days with my frat. 64 00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:22,701 Me, the stooge, creeper, snake-- 65 00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:24,703 Man, we had some great times. 66 00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,904 Stooge, creeper, and the snake? 67 00:03:26,972 --> 00:03:30,942 Yeah. Guys in a frat together give each other these great nicknames. 68 00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:32,744 It's kind of a tradition. 69 00:03:32,811 --> 00:03:34,279 Oh, yeah, what was yours? 70 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,714 Roland. 71 00:03:37,916 --> 00:03:39,984 Hey, where'd you go to college? 72 00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:41,486 Me? I didn't, man. 73 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,489 In the sixties, the government had this alternative program 74 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,091 For minorities who couldn't afford college. 75 00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:49,628 What was it? Oh, yeah. Vietnam. 76 00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:53,431 Before shipping out, me and my buddies 77 00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:55,734 Had our own spring break. 78 00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:58,403 We partied all night, met a girl, 79 00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,505 Built a 43-foot burrito. 80 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:05,109 It was almost a world record, 81 00:04:05,177 --> 00:04:08,613 Except we ate it before getting the guinness people there. 82 00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,516 Man, I wish I had another shot at that. 83 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,386 Why would you build a 43-foot burrito? 84 00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:17,756 Same reason picasso painted noses on the sides of faces. 85 00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:19,190 Because he was a great artist? 86 00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,693 Is that why he did that? 87 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,497 Wow! I did that burrito because I was wasted. 88 00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,602 Hello, grandma. 89 00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:34,105 Charlene, oh, honey. 90 00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,608 Am I glad to see you. 91 00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:40,111 I brought you a copy of the st. Olaf news. 92 00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:42,079 Oh, thank you, sweetheart. 93 00:04:42,147 --> 00:04:44,115 It's so nice to see comics 94 00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:47,185 On the front page where they belong. 95 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,622 Oh, we'll have such good times. 96 00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:51,889 We'll have tea parties 97 00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,625 And braid each other's hair. 98 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:57,128 Actually, grandma, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, rick. 99 00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,096 He'll be staying here this weekend. 100 00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:02,133 Oh, silly me. You brought a boy with you. 101 00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:04,101 Well, you know what? 102 00:05:04,169 --> 00:05:07,138 I think his hair will braid up just fine. 103 00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:11,008 Actually, grandma, we thought we'd go jet-skiing this afternoon. 104 00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:12,410 That sounds exciting. 105 00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,479 And tonight maybe check out some clubs. 106 00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:15,513 Sounds fun. 107 00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,281 We could share a room. 108 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,552 Sounds like a cold day in hell. 109 00:05:22,621 --> 00:05:22,686 Ld it. 110 00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:26,356 Ld it. - Come here. 111 00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:27,858 Come, come, come here. 112 00:05:27,926 --> 00:05:29,393 Open the coat. 113 00:05:29,461 --> 00:05:31,896 What? I don't have no beer in this. 114 00:05:31,963 --> 00:05:33,597 Just open the coat. 115 00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:36,867 Aha. 116 00:05:36,935 --> 00:05:39,403 Ha ha. Just as I thought. 117 00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:42,473 Well, mr. Sneaky... 118 00:05:43,975 --> 00:05:47,144 Guess you're not as sneaky as you thought you were. 119 00:05:47,211 --> 00:05:49,212 Are you, mr. Sneaky? 120 00:05:50,214 --> 00:05:52,583 I'm sorry. I just wanted a sip. 121 00:05:52,651 --> 00:05:54,552 You know, get that crazy feeling. 122 00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:56,086 Pretty irresponsible, aren't I? 123 00:05:56,154 --> 00:06:00,190 No. I just don't want that kind of thing happening in this hotel. 124 00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:02,059 I was stupid to even try. 125 00:06:02,126 --> 00:06:04,094 You bet you were. 126 00:06:05,096 --> 00:06:08,899 Hey, sorry about that mr. Sneaky crack. 127 00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:10,133 Forgotten. 128 00:06:10,201 --> 00:06:11,469 All right. 129 00:06:13,438 --> 00:06:16,907 Blanche, I'd like you to reconsider this giant burrito. 130 00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:18,275 The answer is no. 131 00:06:18,343 --> 00:06:23,013 Doesn't the idea of a 43-foot burrito excite you? 132 00:06:30,455 --> 00:06:33,357 I must be getting jaded. No. 133 00:06:35,961 --> 00:06:38,896 Grandma, can I talk to you for a second? 134 00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:40,464 Sure you can, honey. 135 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,235 It's funny, but of all the people I know, 136 00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:48,372 You're the only one I can really open up to. 137 00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:51,876 I feel I can tell you anything and not be judged. 138 00:06:51,943 --> 00:06:54,879 I'm always here for you. What's on your mind? 139 00:06:54,946 --> 00:06:58,582 Rick and I have been dating for a year now, 140 00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:00,818 And, oh, I really like him. 141 00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:02,853 And, well, I'm not sure, 142 00:07:02,921 --> 00:07:05,823 But I'm thinking about having sex with him. 143 00:07:08,426 --> 00:07:10,360 I see, um...Charlene, 144 00:07:10,428 --> 00:07:13,363 Remember that little song I used to sing to you 145 00:07:13,431 --> 00:07:16,800 Whenever you had trouble deciding the right thing to do? 146 00:07:16,868 --> 00:07:19,336 ♪ he knows when you are sleeping ♪ 147 00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:21,171 ♪ he knows when you're awake ♪ 148 00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:22,339 Grandma. 149 00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:24,642 ♪ he knows when you've been bad or good ♪ 150 00:07:24,709 --> 00:07:26,677 ♪ so be good for goodness' sake ♪ 151 00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,412 Everybody, sing. 152 00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:29,813 ♪ you better not cry ♪ 153 00:07:29,881 --> 00:07:30,881 ♪ you better watch-- ♪ 154 00:07:30,949 --> 00:07:31,882 Grandma! 155 00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:33,316 ♪ you better-- ♪♪ 156 00:07:33,384 --> 00:07:34,818 Grandma, this is serious. 157 00:07:34,886 --> 00:07:37,855 I really, really need some advice. 158 00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:39,890 Well, back in st. Olaf, 159 00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:43,393 When girls get thoughts like ones you're having now, 160 00:07:43,461 --> 00:07:47,397 The clergy would have us pave the little dirt road outside the church 161 00:07:47,465 --> 00:07:50,100 Until the thoughts just went away. 162 00:07:50,168 --> 00:07:53,537 I don't remember any dirt road. 163 00:07:53,605 --> 00:08:02,179 You know it as the minneapolis turnpike. 164 00:08:02,246 --> 00:08:03,146 What's up? 165 00:08:03,214 --> 00:08:05,415 Hey, man, can you believe this place? 166 00:08:05,483 --> 00:08:07,417 They got no security at all. 167 00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:09,920 Man, when I leave, I'm taking the ashtrays, 168 00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:11,922 The towels, maybe even my dresser. 169 00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,657 What are you going to take? 170 00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:17,260 I wouldn't put this ugly stuff in my house. 171 00:08:17,328 --> 00:08:20,064 Hey, man, they got some nice stuff. 172 00:08:20,131 --> 00:08:21,565 Well, be careful. 173 00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:24,034 There's always some undercover cop passing as a guest. 174 00:08:24,102 --> 00:08:26,536 It's usually the lope who's trying real hard 175 00:08:26,605 --> 00:08:29,506 To look young and hip but can't quite cut it. 176 00:08:29,574 --> 00:08:31,675 Thanks for the tip, officer. 177 00:08:31,743 --> 00:08:32,743 Officer? 178 00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:34,511 Man, I ain't no cop. 179 00:08:34,579 --> 00:08:36,013 Oh, what's the use? 180 00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,481 Roland, what's the matter? 181 00:08:37,548 --> 00:08:39,750 These kids are wrecking the hotel, 182 00:08:39,818 --> 00:08:41,251 But I can't catch them. 183 00:08:41,319 --> 00:08:43,253 I can't wait till they leave. 184 00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:44,755 We can't afford losing them. 185 00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:46,256 We can't afford having them. 186 00:08:46,324 --> 00:08:47,725 You haven't see the damage. 187 00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:49,793 [thunder] 188 00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:54,231 Weather report says it'll storm all weekend. 189 00:08:54,298 --> 00:08:57,267 Maybe we should hit key west where it's sunny. 190 00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:59,069 Let's go! - Yeah! 191 00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:00,604 Roland, we need their business. 192 00:09:00,672 --> 00:09:02,606 We're going to lose a fortune. 193 00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:05,843 There must be something fun they can do indoors. 194 00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:08,278 We could still go for that world's record. 195 00:09:08,346 --> 00:09:09,780 Chuy, for the last time, 196 00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:13,483 I will have nothing to do with a 43-foot burrito. 197 00:09:13,551 --> 00:09:15,519 [thunder] 198 00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:18,522 All right! Let's get that giant burrito moving! 199 00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:22,292 Slowly I'll cook, bean by bean, 200 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,795 Tortilla by tortilla... 201 00:09:24,863 --> 00:09:28,866 And soon I shall stand in front of my greatest creation-- 202 00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:30,567 The 43-foot burrito! 203 00:09:30,635 --> 00:09:33,370 Bet you can't eat just one. 204 00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:37,174 Blanche, have you seen charlene? 205 00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:39,609 Oh, yes. We had a nice little chat. 206 00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:41,178 Really, about what? 207 00:09:41,245 --> 00:09:43,681 This and that. That and this. 208 00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:45,482 Sex. 209 00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:46,583 You didn't. 210 00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:48,085 Charlene needed guidance 211 00:09:48,153 --> 00:09:49,586 And you wouldn't give it, 212 00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:52,089 So I gave her a little advice. 213 00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:56,560 I told her to approach her budding sexuality the same way I did. 214 00:09:56,627 --> 00:10:00,230 Blanche, you're crazy if you think I'm going to let charlene 215 00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:03,801 Paint a bull's-eye on any part of her body. 216 00:10:08,807 --> 00:10:10,240 Charlene, open up. 217 00:10:10,308 --> 00:10:13,177 Tell me you didn't listen to blanche. 218 00:10:14,645 --> 00:10:16,580 Oh, no. I'm too late. 219 00:10:20,318 --> 00:10:21,752 You are in big trouble. 220 00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:24,755 No, no, grandma. You got it all wrong. 221 00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:26,423 We have a snorkeling lesson. 222 00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:27,891 Look at his equipment. 223 00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:29,492 I will not. 224 00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:32,830 I'll be downstairs. 225 00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:36,700 How could you embarrass me like that? 226 00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:38,202 This is all blanche's fault. 227 00:10:38,269 --> 00:10:42,305 This was going to be a wonderful week till she ruined it. 228 00:10:42,373 --> 00:10:45,209 I just wanted to spend some time with you. 229 00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:47,745 No, grandma. You want to spend some time 230 00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:50,247 With a little girl who's not here anymore. 231 00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:53,751 And if you can't see me for who I am, 232 00:10:53,818 --> 00:10:56,787 Then I can't stay here. 233 00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:58,756 Oh, charlene, no. 234 00:10:58,823 --> 00:10:59,757 C-char, come back. 235 00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:00,824 I-- 236 00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:05,763 I'm just trying to protect your reputation. 237 00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,831 [knock on door] 238 00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,533 Charlene ready? 239 00:11:10,601 --> 00:11:13,336 , no. Word's gotten out already. 240 00:11:23,146 --> 00:11:25,080 All right, boil that rice. 241 00:11:25,148 --> 00:11:26,816 Come on, grate that cheese. 242 00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:28,250 Hey, stir those beans. 243 00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:30,353 Hitler, stalin, and now you. 244 00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:34,490 Are you saying that I've turned into a dictator? 245 00:11:34,558 --> 00:11:36,792 No. I was thinking how much younger 246 00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:40,295 The three of you would look without the mustache. 247 00:11:40,364 --> 00:11:41,930 This burrito thing's a kick. 248 00:11:41,998 --> 00:11:43,932 This isn't just a burrito, sophia. 249 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,802 This record is my shot at immortality. 250 00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:49,271 By the time I'm done with this burrito, 251 00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,806 It'll be limber, yet firm... 252 00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:54,009 Taut, yet soft and supple to the touch. 253 00:11:54,077 --> 00:11:57,079 All the curves in all the right places. 254 00:11:58,382 --> 00:12:00,383 Man, I need a woman. 255 00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:03,586 All right, everybody. Take a break. 256 00:12:05,756 --> 00:12:07,322 Any word from charlene? 257 00:12:07,391 --> 00:12:08,824 No. 258 00:12:08,892 --> 00:12:10,826 Oh, I'm so furious. 259 00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:12,795 This is all blanche's fault 260 00:12:12,863 --> 00:12:16,699 That she's out there somewhere in the rain, with no place to stay. 261 00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:20,936 Rose nylund, open this door and let me in. 262 00:12:21,004 --> 00:12:23,873 God only knows where charlene is. 263 00:12:25,308 --> 00:12:28,611 I was only doing what I thought best. 264 00:12:28,678 --> 00:12:30,312 I don't want to talk about it. 265 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:33,382 Rose, surely this must've come up with your daughters. 266 00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:35,384 Things were different back then. 267 00:12:35,452 --> 00:12:37,286 Nobody would consider having sex 268 00:12:37,353 --> 00:12:41,290 In the same building with a parent. 269 00:12:41,357 --> 00:12:43,325 People were more discreet back then. 270 00:12:43,393 --> 00:12:47,129 No. We all drove really big cars. 271 00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:51,033 You know, it's not easy for fathers 272 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,835 Once their daughters start dating. 273 00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:54,670 Oh, tell me about it. 274 00:12:54,738 --> 00:12:56,305 There was always one kid 275 00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:59,308 Who scared the hell out of all the daddies, 276 00:12:59,375 --> 00:13:00,810 Who wouldn't think twice 277 00:13:00,877 --> 00:13:03,813 About climbing in the bedroom window late at night, 278 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,816 Pretending to run out of gas on a lonely road, 279 00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:10,319 Or getting somebody drunk in order to have their way. 280 00:13:10,386 --> 00:13:12,855 I had quite a bag of tricks. 281 00:13:14,357 --> 00:13:16,291 Hey, guys, listen to this. 282 00:13:16,359 --> 00:13:18,794 There's this kid in the lobby 283 00:13:18,862 --> 00:13:20,529 Being really loud and obnoxious. 284 00:13:20,597 --> 00:13:24,032 Just as I'm about to tell him to knock it off, 285 00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,502 This strange voice came out of me. 286 00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:29,705 We have a ventriloquist here at the hotel? 287 00:13:32,275 --> 00:13:36,545 No, rose. It occurred to me that I sound just like my dad. 288 00:13:36,613 --> 00:13:41,383 I was going to yell at this kid like my dad used to yell at me. 289 00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:42,918 Weird, man. I'm getting old. 290 00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:44,987 Roland, aren't you being silly? 291 00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:48,056 No. Something is making me old before my time. 292 00:13:48,124 --> 00:13:49,892 Wish I knew what it was. 293 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,560 I don't know. 294 00:13:51,628 --> 00:13:53,562 It's anybody's guess. 295 00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:55,163 Beats me. 296 00:13:56,366 --> 00:13:57,566 Tums? 297 00:14:06,476 --> 00:14:09,244 What you're feeling isn't all that unusual. 298 00:14:09,312 --> 00:14:12,280 Even I on occasion worry about growing older. 299 00:14:12,348 --> 00:14:14,483 Get out of here. 300 00:14:14,551 --> 00:14:18,253 Yes. Menopause was very difficult for me. 301 00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:19,722 I don't want to hear this. 302 00:14:19,789 --> 00:14:21,524 Tell him about your hot flashes. 303 00:14:21,591 --> 00:14:26,361 They were faster than a strobe light at a gay disco. 304 00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:31,133 I really don't want to hear this. 305 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,035 The change hit me overnight. 306 00:14:33,102 --> 00:14:36,005 I went to bed one night, young and beautiful, 307 00:14:36,072 --> 00:14:39,008 The next morning I looked like a barbie doll 308 00:14:39,075 --> 00:14:41,544 Somebody left on the radiator. 309 00:14:41,611 --> 00:14:43,913 But you don't want to hear this. 310 00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:47,583 Oddly enough. That one I didn't mind too much. 311 00:14:47,651 --> 00:14:49,552 Good thing you didn't mind it, 312 00:14:49,619 --> 00:14:51,319 Because it happens to everybody. 313 00:14:51,387 --> 00:14:53,055 People grow. 314 00:14:53,122 --> 00:14:54,557 They change. 315 00:14:54,624 --> 00:14:57,059 I mean, nobody can be expected to stay 316 00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:59,862 At the same stage throughout their life. 317 00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:01,063 Really. 318 00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,966 Isn't that what you're asking charlene to do? 319 00:15:07,136 --> 00:15:08,571 I guess I am. 320 00:15:14,778 --> 00:15:16,211 Give me a second? 321 00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,412 Yeah. 322 00:15:19,082 --> 00:15:20,683 Hi, grandma. 323 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,851 Charlene, honey, are you o.K.? 324 00:15:22,919 --> 00:15:24,019 Yeah. I'm fine. 325 00:15:24,087 --> 00:15:26,354 I'm sorry I didn't call last night. 326 00:15:26,422 --> 00:15:28,691 Rick and I stayed at another hotel. 327 00:15:28,758 --> 00:15:32,027 No...Before you tell me about last night, 328 00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:34,029 I want to apologize. 329 00:15:34,097 --> 00:15:36,531 You came to me with a problem, 330 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,333 And I wasn't there for you. 331 00:15:38,401 --> 00:15:40,502 But I want you to know 332 00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:44,740 That whatever decision you've reached, I'll accept. 333 00:15:44,808 --> 00:15:47,743 Rick and I didn't sleep together last night. 334 00:15:47,811 --> 00:15:50,813 Oh, you're a good girl. 335 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,749 You're a good, clean girl! 336 00:15:53,817 --> 00:15:56,551 Ohh...Ho ho. 337 00:15:56,620 --> 00:16:00,055 Last night I was too upset about what happened 338 00:16:00,123 --> 00:16:02,224 That I didn't get to decide. 339 00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:06,061 But I don't know what I'm going to do about tonight. 340 00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:08,897 So, do you think now we can talk? 341 00:16:08,965 --> 00:16:10,933 Well, honey, the uth is 342 00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,836 I can't make that decision for you. 343 00:16:13,903 --> 00:16:15,971 Only you can. 344 00:16:16,039 --> 00:16:18,974 But I can tell you what I did. 345 00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,977 I waited until after I was married. 346 00:16:22,045 --> 00:16:25,814 That doesn't make me better or somebody else worse. 347 00:16:27,851 --> 00:16:30,686 Anyway, when the time is right, you'll know. 348 00:16:30,754 --> 00:16:32,688 I can tell you this. 349 00:16:32,756 --> 00:16:36,424 You're going to enjoy it a lot more if you're in love. 350 00:16:36,492 --> 00:16:39,394 That's funny. That's exactly what blanche said. 351 00:16:43,599 --> 00:16:45,200 Blanche told you to wait? 352 00:16:45,268 --> 00:16:46,268 Uh-huh. 353 00:16:46,335 --> 00:16:49,004 Our blanche, blanche devereaux... 354 00:16:49,072 --> 00:16:50,773 Told you to wait? 355 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,743 Yeah. She said I would know when the time was right. 356 00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:56,745 That doesn't sound like blanche. 357 00:16:56,813 --> 00:17:01,516 Actually she said I would know when the many, many times were right. 358 00:17:01,584 --> 00:17:04,553 The many, many, many times... 359 00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:08,490 Oh, yeah. That sounds like blanche. 360 00:17:10,093 --> 00:17:12,995 Honey, I'm sorry I was so hard to talk to. 361 00:17:13,063 --> 00:17:15,497 I think I just miss the little girl 362 00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:18,500 I used to color with and play dolls with. 363 00:17:18,568 --> 00:17:21,003 Actually, grandma, we never played together. 364 00:17:21,071 --> 00:17:23,572 I just sort of watched you. 365 00:17:26,076 --> 00:17:28,077 Well, I miss the company. 366 00:17:29,579 --> 00:17:32,047 Have you plans for the rest of the day? 367 00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:35,217 I thought we'd do some sightseeing, catch a movie. 368 00:17:35,284 --> 00:17:36,885 Rick will enjoy that. 369 00:17:36,953 --> 00:17:40,589 No, grandma. I thought I'd do that with you. 370 00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:43,826 Oh, honey. 371 00:17:45,128 --> 00:17:47,629 Let's go get you a snack. 372 00:17:49,165 --> 00:17:50,565 Hey, what gives? 373 00:17:50,633 --> 00:17:53,102 Who put the padlock on my door? 374 00:17:53,169 --> 00:17:54,669 Party's over, sneaky. 375 00:17:54,738 --> 00:17:56,404 What are you talking about? 376 00:17:56,472 --> 00:17:58,073 Face it, sneaky. You've been outsnucked. 377 00:17:58,141 --> 00:18:00,575 You've been hiding extra kids in your room. 378 00:18:00,643 --> 00:18:03,879 They're locked in till you cough up the extra dough. 379 00:18:03,947 --> 00:18:05,080 I don't-- 380 00:18:05,148 --> 00:18:06,949 Save it, sneaky man. 381 00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:09,584 You may have fooled me once. 382 00:18:09,652 --> 00:18:12,587 You may have fooled me twice. 383 00:18:12,655 --> 00:18:15,590 But this time I'm way ahead of you. 384 00:18:15,658 --> 00:18:17,059 So look... 385 00:18:17,127 --> 00:18:19,094 We're going to go to your room, 386 00:18:19,162 --> 00:18:22,597 And every extra kid I find you'll pay for, right? 387 00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:23,665 Fair enough. 388 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,869 All right, sneaklings, you're busted. 389 00:18:33,609 --> 00:18:35,443 Sophia! 390 00:18:35,511 --> 00:18:36,478 What? 391 00:18:36,545 --> 00:18:38,680 Ohhh! 392 00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,092 And now... We measure it. 393 00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:54,129 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 394 00:18:54,197 --> 00:18:55,831 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 395 00:18:55,899 --> 00:18:57,365 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 396 00:18:57,433 --> 00:18:58,867 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 397 00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,869 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 398 00:19:00,937 --> 00:19:02,570 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 399 00:19:02,638 --> 00:19:04,372 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 400 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,276 43 feet, 2 inches. Did you hear that? 401 00:19:07,343 --> 00:19:09,077 43 feet, 2 inches! 402 00:19:09,145 --> 00:19:10,478 A new world's record! 403 00:19:10,546 --> 00:19:12,580 Whoo! Yay! - Yeah! 404 00:19:12,648 --> 00:19:14,482 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 405 00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,185 Chuy! Chuy! - Chuy! Chuy! 406 00:19:16,252 --> 00:19:19,721 Oh, chuy, what a cute little burrito. 407 00:19:19,789 --> 00:19:22,224 Blanche, we just set a new world's record. 408 00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:23,658 Oh, that's nice. 409 00:19:23,726 --> 00:19:27,162 Nice? Have you any idea how big it is? 410 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:29,597 Um...43 feet, 2 inches? 411 00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:31,900 Blanche! Blanche! Blanche! Blanche! 412 00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:34,736 Blanche! Blanche! Blanche! Blanche! 413 00:19:34,804 --> 00:19:37,306 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Can I say something? 414 00:19:37,373 --> 00:19:39,474 Chuy, after seeing how hard you've worked, 415 00:19:39,542 --> 00:19:42,110 How important this burrito is to you, 416 00:19:42,178 --> 00:19:43,946 I feel compelled to tell you. 417 00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:45,613 What is it, sophia? 418 00:19:45,681 --> 00:19:47,983 I can't find my watch and I'm going in. 419 00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:49,617 Whoa, whoa, stop! Wait, sophia. 420 00:19:49,685 --> 00:19:53,121 In an hour, the guys from the record book get here. 421 00:19:53,189 --> 00:19:55,891 I've waited 24 years. Nothing can stop me now. 422 00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:57,092 Listen, everybody, 423 00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,627 They've just issued a flash flood warning. 424 00:19:59,695 --> 00:20:02,097 They want all businesses to use whatever necessary 425 00:20:02,165 --> 00:20:04,499 To keep water damage at a minimum. 426 00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:07,135 We'll get sandbags from the fire department. 427 00:20:07,203 --> 00:20:08,570 We haven't time for that. 428 00:20:08,637 --> 00:20:11,073 We have to use everything around here 429 00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:14,642 That could soak up lots and lots of water. 430 00:20:16,913 --> 00:20:20,015 Oh, no! No, no, no, no! No, no, no! 431 00:20:20,083 --> 00:20:21,483 Chuy, it's our only chance. 432 00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,517 Forget it. 433 00:20:22,585 --> 00:20:24,619 We have to make some kind of sacrice. 434 00:20:24,687 --> 00:20:27,389 We'll throw the old lady into the volcano. 435 00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:31,360 How can that help? 436 00:20:31,427 --> 00:20:33,428 How can it hurt? 437 00:20:35,098 --> 00:20:37,099 Ohh, o.K. 438 00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:39,434 But can I save 3 feet of it? 439 00:20:39,502 --> 00:20:40,435 Why? 440 00:20:40,503 --> 00:20:41,970 To break the record. 441 00:20:42,038 --> 00:20:45,173 The old record is 2 feet, 11 inches. 442 00:20:47,676 --> 00:20:49,945 Kill chuy! - Kill chuy! 443 00:20:50,013 --> 00:20:52,014 Kill chuy! - Kill chuy! 444 00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:54,249 Kill chuy! - Kill chuy! 445 00:20:54,317 --> 00:20:56,751 Kill chuy! - Kill chuy! 446 00:20:56,819 --> 00:20:59,854 Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc. 447 00:21:01,656 --> 00:21:03,591 They got past t me last yea. 448 00:21:03,658 --> 00:21:06,060 They got past me this year. 449 00:21:06,128 --> 00:21:09,097 But from now on, no other kid leaves this hotel 450 00:21:09,164 --> 00:21:10,664 Without paying their bill. 451 00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:13,234 Good evening. 452 00:21:13,302 --> 00:21:15,236 Have a nice evening, sir. 453 00:21:15,304 --> 00:21:16,337 We will. 454 00:21:18,007 --> 00:21:20,608 You see, I've got like this radar. 455 00:21:20,675 --> 00:21:23,177 Which allows me to hone in on, um... 456 00:21:26,681 --> 00:21:32,020 Captions copyright 1993 touchstone pictures and television 32956

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