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1
00:00:01,467 --> 00:00:03,668
♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
2
00:00:03,736 --> 00:00:06,671
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,739 --> 00:00:10,142
♪ travel down the road
and back again ♪
4
00:00:10,209 --> 00:00:12,077
♪ your heart is true ♪
5
00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:16,948
♪ you're a pal
and a confidante ♪
6
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,419
♪ and if you threw
a party ♪
7
00:00:20,486 --> 00:00:24,389
♪ invited everyone
you knew ♪
8
00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:26,224
♪ you would see ♪
9
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:28,893
♪ the biggest gift
would be from me ♪
10
00:00:28,961 --> 00:00:30,995
♪ and the card attached
would say ♪
11
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:33,331
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,399 --> 00:00:35,367
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:41,039
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪♪
14
00:00:45,044 --> 00:00:48,646
Captioning made possible by
witt/thomas/harris productions,
cbs television network,
15
00:00:48,714 --> 00:00:51,649
And 1992 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
16
00:00:59,992 --> 00:01:02,894
Man, this is my least
favorite time of year--
17
00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:04,929
Spring break.
It's the worst.
18
00:01:04,997 --> 00:01:07,999
People drunk everywhere.
Orgies in the streets.
19
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,034
Kids running around
in togas.
20
00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,905
It's not even like miami.
It's like ancient rome.
21
00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:15,907
Ancient rome
was never like that.
22
00:01:15,975 --> 00:01:19,511
Now and then we'd get
a bad emperor, but...
23
00:01:20,679 --> 00:01:24,116
I'm showing my age,
aren't I?
24
00:01:24,183 --> 00:01:26,618
This year I'm ready
for these college kids.
25
00:01:26,685 --> 00:01:30,122
If they try sneaking beer in,
they'll have to go by me.
26
00:01:30,189 --> 00:01:32,957
Try sneaking
a friend in, they'll
have to go by me.
27
00:01:33,025 --> 00:01:35,793
Or try skinny-dipping
in the pool, they'll--
28
00:01:35,861 --> 00:01:37,295
Have to go by me.
29
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:41,566
Boys, I'll show you up
to your rooms.
30
00:01:41,634 --> 00:01:45,970
Hey, hey, hey!
No more than five guys
at a time.
31
00:01:46,038 --> 00:01:48,373
Don't overload
the elevator either.
32
00:01:48,441 --> 00:01:50,408
Sophia, these are children.
33
00:01:50,476 --> 00:01:53,378
I have made it abundantly
clear to these gentlemen
34
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,914
That I'm a trained working
professional of this hotel,
35
00:01:56,982 --> 00:01:59,884
And I'm only here to provide
professional services.
36
00:01:59,952 --> 00:02:01,419
In spite
of your insinuations,
37
00:02:01,487 --> 00:02:03,988
I'm neither a tart
nor a floozy.
38
00:02:05,158 --> 00:02:06,991
I'm a massage technician.
39
00:02:08,994 --> 00:02:11,929
You know, when kids look
at people my age,
40
00:02:11,997 --> 00:02:14,032
They have certain
expectations.
41
00:02:14,099 --> 00:02:17,135
You feel
an obligation to be
mature and wise.
42
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,137
No, mean.
Mean as sin.
43
00:02:19,205 --> 00:02:22,940
Old people scare the hell
out of 'em.
44
00:02:23,008 --> 00:02:26,244
Hey, you.
No running indoors.
45
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,313
What a rush.
46
00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:32,450
Can I help you?
47
00:02:32,518 --> 00:02:35,453
Hi, my name's benson.
I'm checking in.
48
00:02:35,521 --> 00:02:38,456
O.K. Benson.
You're in room 201.
49
00:02:38,524 --> 00:02:41,459
What do you got
in the trunk...
Benson?
50
00:02:41,527 --> 00:02:42,460
Clothes.
51
00:02:42,528 --> 00:02:45,163
Let me tell you who
you're dealing with.
52
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:48,099
I'm roland wilson.
I know every trick
in the book.
53
00:02:48,167 --> 00:02:51,035
You've got a friend here
you're sneaking in.
54
00:02:51,103 --> 00:02:52,437
No, I don't. Honest.
55
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,573
Let's have
a look-see inside.
56
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,907
There's no need--
57
00:02:55,974 --> 00:02:57,175
Open it, benson.
58
00:03:00,979 --> 00:03:04,482
Look. I just want to check
in to...Room 201!
59
00:03:05,984 --> 00:03:08,253
All right.
You're clean...
60
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:11,256
But I'm going
to be watching you.
61
00:03:15,494 --> 00:03:16,695
College kids, huh?
62
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,496
Yeah, but I'm up
to them.
63
00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:20,965
I had my party days
with my frat.
64
00:03:21,033 --> 00:03:22,701
Me, the stooge,
creeper, snake--
65
00:03:22,768 --> 00:03:24,703
Man, we had some
great times.
66
00:03:24,770 --> 00:03:26,904
Stooge, creeper,
and the snake?
67
00:03:26,972 --> 00:03:30,942
Yeah. Guys in a frat
together give each other
these great nicknames.
68
00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:32,744
It's kind of
a tradition.
69
00:03:32,811 --> 00:03:34,279
Oh, yeah,
what was yours?
70
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:35,714
Roland.
71
00:03:37,916 --> 00:03:39,984
Hey, where'd you
go to college?
72
00:03:40,052 --> 00:03:41,486
Me? I didn't, man.
73
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,489
In the sixties,
the government had this
alternative program
74
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,091
For minorities who
couldn't afford college.
75
00:03:47,159 --> 00:03:49,628
What was it?
Oh, yeah. Vietnam.
76
00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:53,431
Before shipping out,
me and my buddies
77
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:55,734
Had our own spring break.
78
00:03:55,801 --> 00:03:58,403
We partied all night,
met a girl,
79
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,505
Built a 43-foot burrito.
80
00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:05,109
It was almost
a world record,
81
00:04:05,177 --> 00:04:08,613
Except we ate it
before getting
the guinness people there.
82
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,516
Man, I wish I had
another shot at that.
83
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:14,386
Why would you build
a 43-foot burrito?
84
00:04:14,453 --> 00:04:17,756
Same reason picasso painted
noses on the sides of faces.
85
00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:19,190
Because he was
a great artist?
86
00:04:19,258 --> 00:04:21,693
Is that why he did that?
87
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,497
Wow! I did that burrito
because I was wasted.
88
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:30,602
Hello, grandma.
89
00:04:30,670 --> 00:04:34,105
Charlene, oh, honey.
90
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,608
Am I glad to see you.
91
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:40,111
I brought you a copy
of the st. Olaf news.
92
00:04:40,179 --> 00:04:42,079
Oh, thank you,
sweetheart.
93
00:04:42,147 --> 00:04:44,115
It's so nice
to see comics
94
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:47,185
On the front page
where they belong.
95
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,622
Oh, we'll have
such good times.
96
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:51,889
We'll have
tea parties
97
00:04:51,957 --> 00:04:53,625
And braid each
other's hair.
98
00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:57,128
Actually, grandma,
I'd like you to meet
my boyfriend, rick.
99
00:04:57,196 --> 00:04:59,096
He'll be staying here
this weekend.
100
00:04:59,164 --> 00:05:02,133
Oh, silly me. You
brought a boy with you.
101
00:05:02,201 --> 00:05:04,101
Well, you know what?
102
00:05:04,169 --> 00:05:07,138
I think his hair will
braid up just fine.
103
00:05:07,206 --> 00:05:11,008
Actually, grandma,
we thought we'd go
jet-skiing this afternoon.
104
00:05:11,076 --> 00:05:12,410
That sounds exciting.
105
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,479
And tonight maybe check
out some clubs.
106
00:05:14,547 --> 00:05:15,513
Sounds fun.
107
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,281
We could share a room.
108
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,552
Sounds like
a cold day in hell.
109
00:05:22,621 --> 00:05:22,686
Ld it.
110
00:05:24,923 --> 00:05:26,356
Ld it.
- Come here.
111
00:05:26,425 --> 00:05:27,858
Come, come, come here.
112
00:05:27,926 --> 00:05:29,393
Open the coat.
113
00:05:29,461 --> 00:05:31,896
What? I don't have
no beer in this.
114
00:05:31,963 --> 00:05:33,597
Just open the coat.
115
00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:36,867
Aha.
116
00:05:36,935 --> 00:05:39,403
Ha ha.
Just as I thought.
117
00:05:39,471 --> 00:05:42,473
Well, mr. Sneaky...
118
00:05:43,975 --> 00:05:47,144
Guess you're not
as sneaky as you
thought you were.
119
00:05:47,211 --> 00:05:49,212
Are you, mr. Sneaky?
120
00:05:50,214 --> 00:05:52,583
I'm sorry.
I just wanted a sip.
121
00:05:52,651 --> 00:05:54,552
You know,
get that crazy feeling.
122
00:05:54,619 --> 00:05:56,086
Pretty irresponsible,
aren't I?
123
00:05:56,154 --> 00:06:00,190
No. I just don't want
that kind of thing
happening in this hotel.
124
00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:02,059
I was stupid
to even try.
125
00:06:02,126 --> 00:06:04,094
You bet you were.
126
00:06:05,096 --> 00:06:08,899
Hey, sorry about that
mr. Sneaky crack.
127
00:06:08,967 --> 00:06:10,133
Forgotten.
128
00:06:10,201 --> 00:06:11,469
All right.
129
00:06:13,438 --> 00:06:16,907
Blanche, I'd like you
to reconsider
this giant burrito.
130
00:06:16,975 --> 00:06:18,275
The answer is no.
131
00:06:18,343 --> 00:06:23,013
Doesn't the idea
of a 43-foot burrito
excite you?
132
00:06:30,455 --> 00:06:33,357
I must be getting jaded.
No.
133
00:06:35,961 --> 00:06:38,896
Grandma, can I talk
to you for a second?
134
00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:40,464
Sure you can, honey.
135
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:45,235
It's funny, but of all
the people I know,
136
00:06:45,303 --> 00:06:48,372
You're the only one
I can really open up to.
137
00:06:48,439 --> 00:06:51,876
I feel
I can tell you anything
and not be judged.
138
00:06:51,943 --> 00:06:54,879
I'm always here for you.
What's on your mind?
139
00:06:54,946 --> 00:06:58,582
Rick and I have been
dating for a year now,
140
00:06:58,650 --> 00:07:00,818
And, oh,
I really like him.
141
00:07:00,886 --> 00:07:02,853
And, well, I'm not sure,
142
00:07:02,921 --> 00:07:05,823
But I'm thinking about
having sex with him.
143
00:07:08,426 --> 00:07:10,360
I see, um...Charlene,
144
00:07:10,428 --> 00:07:13,363
Remember that little song
I used to sing to you
145
00:07:13,431 --> 00:07:16,800
Whenever you had
trouble deciding
the right thing to do?
146
00:07:16,868 --> 00:07:19,336
♪ he knows when you
are sleeping ♪
147
00:07:19,404 --> 00:07:21,171
♪ he knows when
you're awake ♪
148
00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:22,339
Grandma.
149
00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:24,642
♪ he knows when you've
been bad or good ♪
150
00:07:24,709 --> 00:07:26,677
♪ so be good
for goodness' sake ♪
151
00:07:26,745 --> 00:07:28,412
Everybody, sing.
152
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:29,813
♪ you better not cry ♪
153
00:07:29,881 --> 00:07:30,881
♪ you better watch-- ♪
154
00:07:30,949 --> 00:07:31,882
Grandma!
155
00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:33,316
♪ you better-- ♪♪
156
00:07:33,384 --> 00:07:34,818
Grandma,
this is serious.
157
00:07:34,886 --> 00:07:37,855
I really, really
need some advice.
158
00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:39,890
Well, back in st. Olaf,
159
00:07:39,958 --> 00:07:43,393
When girls get thoughts
like ones you're having now,
160
00:07:43,461 --> 00:07:47,397
The clergy would have us
pave the little dirt road
outside the church
161
00:07:47,465 --> 00:07:50,100
Until the thoughts
just went away.
162
00:07:50,168 --> 00:07:53,537
I don't remember
any dirt road.
163
00:07:53,605 --> 00:08:02,179
You know it as
the minneapolis turnpike.
164
00:08:02,246 --> 00:08:03,146
What's up?
165
00:08:03,214 --> 00:08:05,415
Hey, man, can you
believe this place?
166
00:08:05,483 --> 00:08:07,417
They got no security
at all.
167
00:08:07,485 --> 00:08:09,920
Man, when I leave,
I'm taking the ashtrays,
168
00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:11,922
The towels,
maybe even my dresser.
169
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,657
What are you
going to take?
170
00:08:13,725 --> 00:08:17,260
I wouldn't put this ugly
stuff in my house.
171
00:08:17,328 --> 00:08:20,064
Hey, man, they got
some nice stuff.
172
00:08:20,131 --> 00:08:21,565
Well, be careful.
173
00:08:21,633 --> 00:08:24,034
There's always
some undercover cop
passing as a guest.
174
00:08:24,102 --> 00:08:26,536
It's usually the lope
who's trying real hard
175
00:08:26,605 --> 00:08:29,506
To look young and hip
but can't quite cut it.
176
00:08:29,574 --> 00:08:31,675
Thanks for the tip,
officer.
177
00:08:31,743 --> 00:08:32,743
Officer?
178
00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:34,511
Man, I ain't no cop.
179
00:08:34,579 --> 00:08:36,013
Oh, what's the use?
180
00:08:36,081 --> 00:08:37,481
Roland,
what's the matter?
181
00:08:37,548 --> 00:08:39,750
These kids are
wrecking the hotel,
182
00:08:39,818 --> 00:08:41,251
But I can't
catch them.
183
00:08:41,319 --> 00:08:43,253
I can't wait
till they leave.
184
00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:44,755
We can't afford
losing them.
185
00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:46,256
We can't afford
having them.
186
00:08:46,324 --> 00:08:47,725
You haven't
see the damage.
187
00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:49,793
[thunder]
188
00:08:51,830 --> 00:08:54,231
Weather report says
it'll storm all weekend.
189
00:08:54,298 --> 00:08:57,267
Maybe we should hit key west
where it's sunny.
190
00:08:57,335 --> 00:08:59,069
Let's go!
- Yeah!
191
00:08:59,137 --> 00:09:00,604
Roland,
we need their business.
192
00:09:00,672 --> 00:09:02,606
We're going to lose
a fortune.
193
00:09:02,674 --> 00:09:05,843
There must be something fun
they can do indoors.
194
00:09:05,910 --> 00:09:08,278
We could still go
for that world's record.
195
00:09:08,346 --> 00:09:09,780
Chuy,
for the last time,
196
00:09:09,848 --> 00:09:13,483
I will have
nothing to do with
a 43-foot burrito.
197
00:09:13,551 --> 00:09:15,519
[thunder]
198
00:09:15,586 --> 00:09:18,522
All right!
Let's get that giant
burrito moving!
199
00:09:18,589 --> 00:09:22,292
Slowly I'll cook,
bean by bean,
200
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,795
Tortilla by tortilla...
201
00:09:24,863 --> 00:09:28,866
And soon
I shall stand in front
of my greatest creation--
202
00:09:28,933 --> 00:09:30,567
The 43-foot burrito!
203
00:09:30,635 --> 00:09:33,370
Bet you can't
eat just one.
204
00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:37,174
Blanche,
have you seen charlene?
205
00:09:37,241 --> 00:09:39,609
Oh, yes. We had
a nice little chat.
206
00:09:39,678 --> 00:09:41,178
Really, about what?
207
00:09:41,245 --> 00:09:43,681
This and that.
That and this.
208
00:09:43,748 --> 00:09:45,482
Sex.
209
00:09:45,550 --> 00:09:46,583
You didn't.
210
00:09:46,651 --> 00:09:48,085
Charlene needed guidance
211
00:09:48,153 --> 00:09:49,586
And you wouldn't give it,
212
00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:52,089
So I gave her
a little advice.
213
00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:56,560
I told her to approach
her budding sexuality
the same way I did.
214
00:09:56,627 --> 00:10:00,230
Blanche, you're crazy
if you think I'm going
to let charlene
215
00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:03,801
Paint a bull's-eye
on any part of her body.
216
00:10:08,807 --> 00:10:10,240
Charlene, open up.
217
00:10:10,308 --> 00:10:13,177
Tell me you didn't
listen to blanche.
218
00:10:14,645 --> 00:10:16,580
Oh, no.
I'm too late.
219
00:10:20,318 --> 00:10:21,752
You are in big trouble.
220
00:10:21,820 --> 00:10:24,755
No, no, grandma.
You got it all wrong.
221
00:10:24,823 --> 00:10:26,423
We have
a snorkeling lesson.
222
00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:27,891
Look at his equipment.
223
00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:29,492
I will not.
224
00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:32,830
I'll be downstairs.
225
00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:36,700
How could you
embarrass me like that?
226
00:10:36,768 --> 00:10:38,202
This is all
blanche's fault.
227
00:10:38,269 --> 00:10:42,305
This was going
to be a wonderful week
till she ruined it.
228
00:10:42,373 --> 00:10:45,209
I just wanted to spend
some time with you.
229
00:10:45,276 --> 00:10:47,745
No, grandma. You want
to spend some time
230
00:10:47,812 --> 00:10:50,247
With a little girl
who's not here anymore.
231
00:10:50,314 --> 00:10:53,751
And if you can't see me
for who I am,
232
00:10:53,818 --> 00:10:56,787
Then I can't stay here.
233
00:10:56,855 --> 00:10:58,756
Oh, charlene, no.
234
00:10:58,823 --> 00:10:59,757
C-char, come back.
235
00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:00,824
I--
236
00:11:02,827 --> 00:11:05,763
I'm just trying to
protect your reputation.
237
00:11:05,830 --> 00:11:07,831
[knock on door]
238
00:11:09,333 --> 00:11:10,533
Charlene ready?
239
00:11:10,601 --> 00:11:13,336
, no. Word's
gotten out already.
240
00:11:23,146 --> 00:11:25,080
All right, boil that rice.
241
00:11:25,148 --> 00:11:26,816
Come on,
grate that cheese.
242
00:11:26,883 --> 00:11:28,250
Hey, stir those beans.
243
00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:30,353
Hitler, stalin,
and now you.
244
00:11:31,788 --> 00:11:34,490
Are you saying
that I've turned
into a dictator?
245
00:11:34,558 --> 00:11:36,792
No. I was thinking
how much younger
246
00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:40,295
The three
of you would look
without the mustache.
247
00:11:40,364 --> 00:11:41,930
This burrito
thing's a kick.
248
00:11:41,998 --> 00:11:43,932
This isn't just
a burrito, sophia.
249
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,802
This record is my shot
at immortality.
250
00:11:46,870 --> 00:11:49,271
By the time I'm done
with this burrito,
251
00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:50,806
It'll be limber,
yet firm...
252
00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:54,009
Taut, yet soft
and supple to the touch.
253
00:11:54,077 --> 00:11:57,079
All the curves
in all the right places.
254
00:11:58,382 --> 00:12:00,383
Man, I need a woman.
255
00:12:01,551 --> 00:12:03,586
All right, everybody.
Take a break.
256
00:12:05,756 --> 00:12:07,322
Any word
from charlene?
257
00:12:07,391 --> 00:12:08,824
No.
258
00:12:08,892 --> 00:12:10,826
Oh, I'm so furious.
259
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:12,795
This is all
blanche's fault
260
00:12:12,863 --> 00:12:16,699
That she's out there
somewhere in the rain,
with no place to stay.
261
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:20,936
Rose nylund, open this door
and let me in.
262
00:12:21,004 --> 00:12:23,873
God only knows
where charlene is.
263
00:12:25,308 --> 00:12:28,611
I was only doing
what I thought best.
264
00:12:28,678 --> 00:12:30,312
I don't want
to talk about it.
265
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:33,382
Rose, surely this
must've come up
with your daughters.
266
00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:35,384
Things were different
back then.
267
00:12:35,452 --> 00:12:37,286
Nobody would consider
having sex
268
00:12:37,353 --> 00:12:41,290
In the same building
with a parent.
269
00:12:41,357 --> 00:12:43,325
People were more
discreet back then.
270
00:12:43,393 --> 00:12:47,129
No. We all drove
really big cars.
271
00:12:48,665 --> 00:12:51,033
You know, it's not
easy for fathers
272
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,835
Once their daughters
start dating.
273
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:54,670
Oh, tell me about it.
274
00:12:54,738 --> 00:12:56,305
There was always one kid
275
00:12:56,372 --> 00:12:59,308
Who scared the hell out
of all the daddies,
276
00:12:59,375 --> 00:13:00,810
Who wouldn't think twice
277
00:13:00,877 --> 00:13:03,813
About climbing
in the bedroom
window late at night,
278
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,816
Pretending to run
out of gas on a lonely road,
279
00:13:06,883 --> 00:13:10,319
Or getting somebody drunk
in order to have their way.
280
00:13:10,386 --> 00:13:12,855
I had quite a bag of tricks.
281
00:13:14,357 --> 00:13:16,291
Hey, guys,
listen to this.
282
00:13:16,359 --> 00:13:18,794
There's this kid
in the lobby
283
00:13:18,862 --> 00:13:20,529
Being really loud
and obnoxious.
284
00:13:20,597 --> 00:13:24,032
Just as I'm about
to tell him to knock
it off,
285
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:26,502
This strange voice
came out of me.
286
00:13:26,570 --> 00:13:29,705
We have a ventriloquist
here at the hotel?
287
00:13:32,275 --> 00:13:36,545
No, rose. It occurred
to me that I sound
just like my dad.
288
00:13:36,613 --> 00:13:41,383
I was going to yell
at this kid like my dad
used to yell at me.
289
00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:42,918
Weird, man.
I'm getting old.
290
00:13:42,986 --> 00:13:44,987
Roland,
aren't you being silly?
291
00:13:45,054 --> 00:13:48,056
No. Something
is making me old
before my time.
292
00:13:48,124 --> 00:13:49,892
Wish I knew
what it was.
293
00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,560
I don't know.
294
00:13:51,628 --> 00:13:53,562
It's anybody's guess.
295
00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:55,163
Beats me.
296
00:13:56,366 --> 00:13:57,566
Tums?
297
00:14:06,476 --> 00:14:09,244
What you're feeling
isn't all that unusual.
298
00:14:09,312 --> 00:14:12,280
Even I on occasion
worry about growing older.
299
00:14:12,348 --> 00:14:14,483
Get out of here.
300
00:14:14,551 --> 00:14:18,253
Yes. Menopause was
very difficult for me.
301
00:14:18,321 --> 00:14:19,722
I don't want
to hear this.
302
00:14:19,789 --> 00:14:21,524
Tell him about
your hot flashes.
303
00:14:21,591 --> 00:14:26,361
They were faster
than a strobe light
at a gay disco.
304
00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:31,133
I really don't
want to hear this.
305
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,035
The change hit me
overnight.
306
00:14:33,102 --> 00:14:36,005
I went to bed one night,
young and beautiful,
307
00:14:36,072 --> 00:14:39,008
The next morning I looked
like a barbie doll
308
00:14:39,075 --> 00:14:41,544
Somebody left
on the radiator.
309
00:14:41,611 --> 00:14:43,913
But you don't
want to hear this.
310
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:47,583
Oddly enough. That one
I didn't mind too much.
311
00:14:47,651 --> 00:14:49,552
Good thing
you didn't mind it,
312
00:14:49,619 --> 00:14:51,319
Because it happens
to everybody.
313
00:14:51,387 --> 00:14:53,055
People grow.
314
00:14:53,122 --> 00:14:54,557
They change.
315
00:14:54,624 --> 00:14:57,059
I mean, nobody can be
expected to stay
316
00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:59,862
At the same stage
throughout their life.
317
00:14:59,930 --> 00:15:01,063
Really.
318
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:03,966
Isn't that
what you're asking
charlene to do?
319
00:15:07,136 --> 00:15:08,571
I guess I am.
320
00:15:14,778 --> 00:15:16,211
Give me a second?
321
00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,412
Yeah.
322
00:15:19,082 --> 00:15:20,683
Hi, grandma.
323
00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,851
Charlene, honey,
are you o.K.?
324
00:15:22,919 --> 00:15:24,019
Yeah. I'm fine.
325
00:15:24,087 --> 00:15:26,354
I'm sorry I didn't call
last night.
326
00:15:26,422 --> 00:15:28,691
Rick and I stayed
at another hotel.
327
00:15:28,758 --> 00:15:32,027
No...Before you tell me
about last night,
328
00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:34,029
I want to apologize.
329
00:15:34,097 --> 00:15:36,531
You came to me
with a problem,
330
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,333
And I wasn't there
for you.
331
00:15:38,401 --> 00:15:40,502
But I want you to know
332
00:15:40,570 --> 00:15:44,740
That whatever decision
you've reached,
I'll accept.
333
00:15:44,808 --> 00:15:47,743
Rick and I didn't sleep
together last night.
334
00:15:47,811 --> 00:15:50,813
Oh, you're a good girl.
335
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,749
You're a good,
clean girl!
336
00:15:53,817 --> 00:15:56,551
Ohh...Ho ho.
337
00:15:56,620 --> 00:16:00,055
Last night I was too upset
about what happened
338
00:16:00,123 --> 00:16:02,224
That I didn't get to decide.
339
00:16:02,291 --> 00:16:06,061
But I don't know
what I'm going to do
about tonight.
340
00:16:06,129 --> 00:16:08,897
So, do you think
now we can talk?
341
00:16:08,965 --> 00:16:10,933
Well, honey,
the uth is
342
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,836
I can't make
that decision
for you.
343
00:16:13,903 --> 00:16:15,971
Only you can.
344
00:16:16,039 --> 00:16:18,974
But I can tell you
what I did.
345
00:16:19,042 --> 00:16:21,977
I waited until
after I was married.
346
00:16:22,045 --> 00:16:25,814
That doesn't make me
better or somebody
else worse.
347
00:16:27,851 --> 00:16:30,686
Anyway, when the time
is right, you'll know.
348
00:16:30,754 --> 00:16:32,688
I can tell you this.
349
00:16:32,756 --> 00:16:36,424
You're going
to enjoy it a lot more
if you're in love.
350
00:16:36,492 --> 00:16:39,394
That's funny.
That's exactly
what blanche said.
351
00:16:43,599 --> 00:16:45,200
Blanche told you
to wait?
352
00:16:45,268 --> 00:16:46,268
Uh-huh.
353
00:16:46,335 --> 00:16:49,004
Our blanche,
blanche devereaux...
354
00:16:49,072 --> 00:16:50,773
Told you to wait?
355
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,743
Yeah. She said I would know
when the time was right.
356
00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:56,745
That doesn't sound
like blanche.
357
00:16:56,813 --> 00:17:01,516
Actually she said
I would know when the many,
many times were right.
358
00:17:01,584 --> 00:17:04,553
The many, many,
many times...
359
00:17:04,620 --> 00:17:08,490
Oh, yeah. That sounds
like blanche.
360
00:17:10,093 --> 00:17:12,995
Honey, I'm sorry I was
so hard to talk to.
361
00:17:13,063 --> 00:17:15,497
I think I just miss
the little girl
362
00:17:15,565 --> 00:17:18,500
I used to color with
and play dolls with.
363
00:17:18,568 --> 00:17:21,003
Actually, grandma,
we never played together.
364
00:17:21,071 --> 00:17:23,572
I just sort of watched you.
365
00:17:26,076 --> 00:17:28,077
Well, I miss
the company.
366
00:17:29,579 --> 00:17:32,047
Have you plans for
the rest of the day?
367
00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:35,217
I thought we'd do
some sightseeing,
catch a movie.
368
00:17:35,284 --> 00:17:36,885
Rick will enjoy that.
369
00:17:36,953 --> 00:17:40,589
No, grandma.
I thought I'd do that
with you.
370
00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:43,826
Oh, honey.
371
00:17:45,128 --> 00:17:47,629
Let's go get you
a snack.
372
00:17:49,165 --> 00:17:50,565
Hey, what gives?
373
00:17:50,633 --> 00:17:53,102
Who put the padlock
on my door?
374
00:17:53,169 --> 00:17:54,669
Party's over, sneaky.
375
00:17:54,738 --> 00:17:56,404
What are you
talking about?
376
00:17:56,472 --> 00:17:58,073
Face it, sneaky.
You've been outsnucked.
377
00:17:58,141 --> 00:18:00,575
You've been hiding
extra kids in your room.
378
00:18:00,643 --> 00:18:03,879
They're locked in
till you cough up
the extra dough.
379
00:18:03,947 --> 00:18:05,080
I don't--
380
00:18:05,148 --> 00:18:06,949
Save it, sneaky man.
381
00:18:07,016 --> 00:18:09,584
You may have fooled
me once.
382
00:18:09,652 --> 00:18:12,587
You may have fooled me twice.
383
00:18:12,655 --> 00:18:15,590
But this time
I'm way ahead of you.
384
00:18:15,658 --> 00:18:17,059
So look...
385
00:18:17,127 --> 00:18:19,094
We're going to go
to your room,
386
00:18:19,162 --> 00:18:22,597
And every extra kid I find
you'll pay for, right?
387
00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:23,665
Fair enough.
388
00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,869
All right, sneaklings,
you're busted.
389
00:18:33,609 --> 00:18:35,443
Sophia!
390
00:18:35,511 --> 00:18:36,478
What?
391
00:18:36,545 --> 00:18:38,680
Ohhh!
392
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:50,092
And now...
We measure it.
393
00:18:52,095 --> 00:18:54,129
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
394
00:18:54,197 --> 00:18:55,831
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
395
00:18:55,899 --> 00:18:57,365
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
396
00:18:57,433 --> 00:18:58,867
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
397
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,869
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
398
00:19:00,937 --> 00:19:02,570
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
399
00:19:02,638 --> 00:19:04,372
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
400
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:07,276
43 feet, 2 inches.
Did you hear that?
401
00:19:07,343 --> 00:19:09,077
43 feet, 2 inches!
402
00:19:09,145 --> 00:19:10,478
A new world's record!
403
00:19:10,546 --> 00:19:12,580
Whoo! Yay!
- Yeah!
404
00:19:12,648 --> 00:19:14,482
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
405
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,185
Chuy! Chuy!
- Chuy! Chuy!
406
00:19:16,252 --> 00:19:19,721
Oh, chuy,
what a cute little burrito.
407
00:19:19,789 --> 00:19:22,224
Blanche, we just set
a new world's record.
408
00:19:22,292 --> 00:19:23,658
Oh, that's nice.
409
00:19:23,726 --> 00:19:27,162
Nice? Have you any idea
how big it is?
410
00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:29,597
Um...43 feet, 2 inches?
411
00:19:29,665 --> 00:19:31,900
Blanche! Blanche!
Blanche! Blanche!
412
00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:34,736
Blanche! Blanche!
Blanche! Blanche!
413
00:19:34,804 --> 00:19:37,306
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can I say something?
414
00:19:37,373 --> 00:19:39,474
Chuy, after seeing
how hard you've worked,
415
00:19:39,542 --> 00:19:42,110
How important
this burrito is to you,
416
00:19:42,178 --> 00:19:43,946
I feel compelled
to tell you.
417
00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:45,613
What is it, sophia?
418
00:19:45,681 --> 00:19:47,983
I can't find my watch
and I'm going in.
419
00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:49,617
Whoa, whoa, stop!
Wait, sophia.
420
00:19:49,685 --> 00:19:53,121
In an hour, the guys
from the record book
get here.
421
00:19:53,189 --> 00:19:55,891
I've waited 24 years.
Nothing can stop me now.
422
00:19:55,959 --> 00:19:57,092
Listen, everybody,
423
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:59,627
They've just issued
a flash flood warning.
424
00:19:59,695 --> 00:20:02,097
They want
all businesses to use
whatever necessary
425
00:20:02,165 --> 00:20:04,499
To keep water damage
at a minimum.
426
00:20:04,567 --> 00:20:07,135
We'll get sandbags
from the fire department.
427
00:20:07,203 --> 00:20:08,570
We haven't time
for that.
428
00:20:08,637 --> 00:20:11,073
We have to use
everything around here
429
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:14,642
That could soak up lots
and lots of water.
430
00:20:16,913 --> 00:20:20,015
Oh, no!
No, no, no, no!
No, no, no!
431
00:20:20,083 --> 00:20:21,483
Chuy, it's our
only chance.
432
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,517
Forget it.
433
00:20:22,585 --> 00:20:24,619
We have to make
some kind of sacrice.
434
00:20:24,687 --> 00:20:27,389
We'll throw the old lady
into the volcano.
435
00:20:29,725 --> 00:20:31,360
How can that help?
436
00:20:31,427 --> 00:20:33,428
How can it hurt?
437
00:20:35,098 --> 00:20:37,099
Ohh, o.K.
438
00:20:37,166 --> 00:20:39,434
But can I save
3 feet of it?
439
00:20:39,502 --> 00:20:40,435
Why?
440
00:20:40,503 --> 00:20:41,970
To break the record.
441
00:20:42,038 --> 00:20:45,173
The old record
is 2 feet, 11 inches.
442
00:20:47,676 --> 00:20:49,945
Kill chuy!
- Kill chuy!
443
00:20:50,013 --> 00:20:52,014
Kill chuy!
- Kill chuy!
444
00:20:52,081 --> 00:20:54,249
Kill chuy!
- Kill chuy!
445
00:20:54,317 --> 00:20:56,751
Kill chuy!
- Kill chuy!
446
00:20:56,819 --> 00:20:59,854
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
447
00:21:01,656 --> 00:21:03,591
They got past t me last yea.
448
00:21:03,658 --> 00:21:06,060
They got past me
this year.
449
00:21:06,128 --> 00:21:09,097
But from now on, no other
kid leaves this hotel
450
00:21:09,164 --> 00:21:10,664
Without paying their bill.
451
00:21:12,167 --> 00:21:13,234
Good evening.
452
00:21:13,302 --> 00:21:15,236
Have a nice evening, sir.
453
00:21:15,304 --> 00:21:16,337
We will.
454
00:21:18,007 --> 00:21:20,608
You see,
I've got like this radar.
455
00:21:20,675 --> 00:21:23,177
Which allows me to hone
in on, um...
456
00:21:26,681 --> 00:21:32,020
Captions copyright 1993
touchstone pictures
and television
32956
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