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1
00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:03,792
We're still short-staffed
so if you happen
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00:00:03,793 --> 00:00:05,927
to be walking through the
parking lot at night
3
00:00:05,928 --> 00:00:08,715
and there's a loose cart,
maybe just grab it
4
00:00:08,716 --> 00:00:10,416
and stick it in the corral.
5
00:00:10,418 --> 00:00:13,452
Gotta round up those
doggies, yee-haw...
6
00:00:13,454 --> 00:00:15,688
That's the saddest "yee-haw"
I've ever heard.
7
00:00:15,690 --> 00:00:17,590
Yeah, I... I bailed on it. Carol?
8
00:00:17,592 --> 00:00:21,451
I hate to even bring this up,
but should Sandra be here?
9
00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:23,262
I thought she was fired.
10
00:00:23,264 --> 00:00:24,730
Yes. She was.
11
00:00:24,732 --> 00:00:27,600
Until she started talking about unions.
12
00:00:27,602 --> 00:00:29,635
Apparently firing someone
for trying to unionize
13
00:00:29,637 --> 00:00:32,037
is considered retaliation.
I would accompany
14
00:00:32,039 --> 00:00:33,806
that statement with a vigorous
jerking-back-and-forth
15
00:00:33,808 --> 00:00:36,296
hand gesture,
but that's also prohibited.
16
00:00:36,611 --> 00:00:38,577
Okay. Now for the rest of you cowpokes,
17
00:00:38,579 --> 00:00:40,179
let's saddle up and git!
18
00:00:40,181 --> 00:00:41,747
- Oof.
- The Western thing
19
00:00:41,749 --> 00:00:43,682
is just not in your wheelhouse.
20
00:00:43,684 --> 00:00:45,885
Amy, could I say a few words?
21
00:00:45,887 --> 00:00:47,405
Um, okay.
22
00:00:48,556 --> 00:00:50,033
Screw management!
23
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,192
- Okay.
- Once we clock out
24
00:00:53,194 --> 00:00:55,427
Amy can't make us do a damn thing.
25
00:00:55,428 --> 00:00:57,470
If you see a loose cart
in the parking lot,
26
00:00:57,471 --> 00:00:59,665
you can kick it over
or shove it into traffic.
27
00:00:59,667 --> 00:01:01,634
Seems like just as much work?
28
00:01:01,636 --> 00:01:04,904
Also, managers can't
give us polygraph tests.
29
00:01:04,906 --> 00:01:07,373
I wasn't planning on giving
anyone a polygraph test.
30
00:01:07,487 --> 00:01:08,398
Well, good.
31
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,668
'Cause we ain't taking one, Amy.
32
00:01:11,345 --> 00:01:13,178
- Mm-hmm.
- Stay strong, people.
33
00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:16,015
Whoo! [Claps]
34
00:01:16,017 --> 00:01:19,018
[upbeat music]
35
00:01:19,020 --> 00:01:20,719
♪
36
00:01:20,721 --> 00:01:23,522
We have a right to healthy air quality
37
00:01:23,524 --> 00:01:26,667
and adequate airflow.
Do you feel any airflow?
38
00:01:26,668 --> 00:01:28,127
'Cause I don't feel any airflow.
39
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,062
You thinks he actually cares
about any of this stuff
40
00:01:30,064 --> 00:01:31,797
or is it just about getting attention?
41
00:01:31,799 --> 00:01:34,800
I mean, it's definitely the attention.
42
00:01:34,802 --> 00:01:37,069
A week ago she was eating lunch
by herself in the bathroom
43
00:01:37,071 --> 00:01:40,239
and now, well, she's
the AOC of Store 1217.
44
00:01:40,241 --> 00:01:43,279
It's crazy how she can just
go with it when this is all
45
00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,144
based on tweets that we wrote.
46
00:01:45,146 --> 00:01:46,512
Do you think all great leaders
47
00:01:46,514 --> 00:01:48,380
are just sociopaths living a lie?
48
00:01:48,382 --> 00:01:49,448
Um...
49
00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:50,883
Yeah, probably.
50
00:01:50,885 --> 00:01:52,484
I mean, even Obama had those guys
51
00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:54,653
who made him feel "good" at basketball.
52
00:01:54,655 --> 00:01:56,455
[Bob Marley's "Jamming" playing]
53
00:01:56,457 --> 00:01:57,923
♪ 'Cause every day we pay the price ♪
54
00:01:57,925 --> 00:01:59,558
♪ With a little sacrifice ♪
55
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,528
♪ Jammin' till the jam is through ♪
56
00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:04,897
Yo, those dressing rooms are trashed.
57
00:02:04,899 --> 00:02:06,674
It's like "The Leftovers" in there.
58
00:02:09,937 --> 00:02:12,137
You know, like that show
where everybody disappears
59
00:02:12,139 --> 00:02:14,191
and all that's left
is the pile of their clothes?
60
00:02:14,575 --> 00:02:15,941
You're a terrible person.
61
00:02:16,644 --> 00:02:19,341
- Okay?
- Dina told us about the birds.
62
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:20,919
- Oh.
- Oh?
63
00:02:21,015 --> 00:02:22,348
Is that what it's called
64
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,650
when you let someone's birds escape
65
00:02:24,652 --> 00:02:26,352
and then let her think it's her fault
66
00:02:26,354 --> 00:02:29,922
and you go to her place
and you put your filth in her?
67
00:02:29,924 --> 00:02:31,824
Look, guys, I feel really bad about it.
68
00:02:31,826 --> 00:02:34,793
You know, I used to think
that you were a nice guy
69
00:02:34,795 --> 00:02:36,996
who just said mean things
to people to be funny,
70
00:02:36,998 --> 00:02:40,432
but now I feel like maybe
you're just a mean person.
71
00:02:40,434 --> 00:02:42,234
I'm so disappointed in you, Garrett.
72
00:02:42,236 --> 00:02:45,571
- Glenn, I... you gotta...
- Oh! And by the way,
73
00:02:45,573 --> 00:02:47,714
have you ever even seen
"The Leftovers"?
74
00:02:48,075 --> 00:02:50,142
The clothes disappear too, dick.
75
00:02:51,545 --> 00:02:53,635
Everybody's acting
like I killed their birds.
76
00:02:53,848 --> 00:02:55,681
Not that I killed Dina's birds.
77
00:02:55,683 --> 00:02:57,549
I mean, they could still be
alive, as far as we know.
78
00:02:57,551 --> 00:02:59,118
Yeah, I mean, it's only been
79
00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:01,620
a few months and one of the
coldest winters on record,
80
00:03:01,622 --> 00:03:03,522
they could be barely clinging
to life somewhere.
81
00:03:03,524 --> 00:03:05,524
I mean, even Glenn
thinks I'm a bad person,
82
00:03:05,526 --> 00:03:06,992
and he sees the good in everyone.
83
00:03:06,994 --> 00:03:08,827
And when that warehouse guy
on meth choked him out?
84
00:03:08,829 --> 00:03:11,225
Glen apologized for looking
too much like a dragon.
85
00:03:11,699 --> 00:03:13,565
He was on meth?
I thought it was bath salts.
86
00:03:13,567 --> 00:03:15,134
Man, how is that relevant
to the conversation?
87
00:03:15,136 --> 00:03:17,036
I don't know. I don't know
where it's going yet.
88
00:03:17,038 --> 00:03:20,835
Look all I'm saying is maybe
Dina's the bad person here.
89
00:03:21,442 --> 00:03:22,741
She kept birds in cages.
90
00:03:22,743 --> 00:03:24,210
Birds are supposed to be free.
91
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,779
So you're actually a hero.
92
00:03:27,449 --> 00:03:28,466
Cool take.
93
00:03:28,489 --> 00:03:29,848
You know what? I saw you eating
94
00:03:29,850 --> 00:03:30,849
a chicken sandwich yesterday.
95
00:03:30,851 --> 00:03:32,251
You're not better than me.
96
00:03:33,788 --> 00:03:35,354
It was a turkey wrap.
97
00:03:35,356 --> 00:03:36,629
Still a bird!
98
00:03:37,224 --> 00:03:38,957
So, Amy, I hear there's some talk
99
00:03:38,959 --> 00:03:41,460
of unionizing down there?
100
00:03:41,462 --> 00:03:43,062
No, no! God, no.
101
00:03:43,064 --> 00:03:45,264
I mean, I wouldn't even call it "talk."
102
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,799
It's just... it's Sandra.
103
00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:49,334
Okay. Amy, this is a big deal.
104
00:03:49,336 --> 00:03:52,104
They're looking at shutting
down some of the stores.
105
00:03:52,106 --> 00:03:54,907
- What?
- Am I a puppy again?
106
00:03:54,909 --> 00:03:56,175
- I'm sorry, one second.
- No, it's fine.
107
00:03:56,177 --> 00:03:57,609
Jeff, it's fine.
108
00:03:57,611 --> 00:04:00,012
Just... what stores
are they shutting down?
109
00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:01,980
- Jeff, leave it!
- Okay. Fine, sorry.
110
00:04:01,982 --> 00:04:03,649
Just... can you keep this between us?
111
00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:05,584
- Yes! Of course.
- We're converting some of
112
00:04:05,586 --> 00:04:07,753
the brick and mortars
into distribution centers
113
00:04:07,755 --> 00:04:10,026
And one of those stores is going
to come from your district.
114
00:04:10,027 --> 00:04:12,565
So if they hear you're
talking about unionizing,
115
00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:14,486
it's going to make
their decision a lot easier.
116
00:04:14,487 --> 00:04:16,015
So you need to squash this.
117
00:04:16,764 --> 00:04:18,764
[Erasure's "A Little Respect" playing]
118
00:04:18,766 --> 00:04:20,899
♪ I hear you calling ♪
119
00:04:20,901 --> 00:04:25,838
♪ Oh baby please ♪
120
00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:26,872
♪ Give a little re... ♪
121
00:04:26,874 --> 00:04:28,540
Look. All we have to do
122
00:04:28,542 --> 00:04:30,476
is keep her from talking about unions.
123
00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:31,478
Yes.
124
00:04:31,745 --> 00:04:33,645
- What?
- Uh, just feels weird.
125
00:04:33,647 --> 00:04:35,681
Isn't that like literally
union-busting?
126
00:04:35,683 --> 00:04:37,282
- No!
- What would you call it?
127
00:04:37,284 --> 00:04:38,984
I don't know. It's not like we're
128
00:04:38,986 --> 00:04:41,587
crushing a movement.
We're just trying to...
129
00:04:41,589 --> 00:04:42,855
Send her a message?
130
00:04:42,857 --> 00:04:44,157
That sounds like
we're breaking her legs.
131
00:04:44,158 --> 00:04:44,928
We just want to...
132
00:04:44,929 --> 00:04:47,493
Neutralize the threat, uh,
get rid of the problem, uh,
133
00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:49,135
let her know she's messing
with the wrong people.
134
00:04:49,136 --> 00:04:51,163
- Something in that ballpark.
- It just feels like a red flag
135
00:04:51,165 --> 00:04:52,826
that everything you say
makes us sound like villains.
136
00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:54,500
Look, we're just trying to stop
137
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:57,836
one lonely desperate lunatic
from running her mouth
138
00:04:57,838 --> 00:04:59,605
and costing everybody their jobs.
139
00:04:59,607 --> 00:05:01,940
- We're the good guys.
- I guess.
140
00:05:01,942 --> 00:05:04,674
We just want Sandra to do what's
best for her fellow workers.
141
00:05:05,446 --> 00:05:06,449
Or else.
142
00:05:07,081 --> 00:05:08,981
As soon as I said it, I heard it.
143
00:05:08,983 --> 00:05:10,282
It's... it's a problem.
144
00:05:11,588 --> 00:05:12,888
[playful music]
145
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:15,057
♪
146
00:05:16,347 --> 00:05:18,447
Ooh, hey, Myrtle.
You look a little chilly.
147
00:05:18,449 --> 00:05:19,516
Thought you might need this.
148
00:05:19,517 --> 00:05:22,084
- Oh, thank you!
- Yeah, it's no problem.
149
00:05:22,086 --> 00:05:23,701
This is great!
150
00:05:24,322 --> 00:05:25,754
- Thank you so much!
- Hey. Actually, you know what?
151
00:05:25,756 --> 00:05:26,726
Could you give it back
to me real quick?
152
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,282
Hey! You can't take my shawl back!
153
00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:29,681
I just... it's just that I want...
154
00:05:29,682 --> 00:05:31,660
Help! He's stealing my shawl!
155
00:05:31,662 --> 00:05:32,991
- Give her back her shawl!
- No, no, no!
156
00:05:32,992 --> 00:05:34,430
I brought it to her!
I brought it to her!
157
00:05:34,432 --> 00:05:37,016
I'll get you your own shawl, okay?
158
00:05:38,369 --> 00:05:40,145
Here. There you go, sweetie.
159
00:05:40,805 --> 00:05:43,105
- So... cold...
- Yeah, I know, I know.
160
00:05:43,107 --> 00:05:45,592
But everything's okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.
161
00:05:46,077 --> 00:05:47,177
Rise up.
162
00:05:48,446 --> 00:05:50,640
Stand up for your rights.
Power to the people.
163
00:05:51,581 --> 00:05:52,677
Cute top!
164
00:05:52,983 --> 00:05:56,251
Hey, Sandra. Um, handing
out some flyers?
165
00:05:56,253 --> 00:05:57,591
Yeah, do you want one?
166
00:05:58,022 --> 00:06:01,429
Sandra says "no" to hate
and "yes" to freedom.
167
00:06:02,093 --> 00:06:03,992
Seems uncontroversial.
168
00:06:03,994 --> 00:06:05,260
I'm not a hero.
169
00:06:05,262 --> 00:06:07,896
So, um, Sandra, I-I need you
170
00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:11,667
to stop talking about
all this union stuff.
171
00:06:11,669 --> 00:06:13,435
You're not allowed
to restrict my speech.
172
00:06:13,437 --> 00:06:15,070
It's for your own good.
173
00:06:15,209 --> 00:06:16,235
Wow.
174
00:06:16,236 --> 00:06:18,580
So now you've got your muscle
trying to threaten me?
175
00:06:18,581 --> 00:06:20,008
Jonah? The muscle?
176
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,543
I mean... okay.
177
00:06:21,545 --> 00:06:23,312
Seems like a weird thread to pull.
178
00:06:23,314 --> 00:06:24,733
Did everyone hear that?
179
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:28,055
Amy is now telling me that
I can't even talk about unions.
180
00:06:28,319 --> 00:06:30,340
- No...
- Amy, is that true?
181
00:06:30,341 --> 00:06:32,121
I don't think you're
allowed to do that.
182
00:06:32,123 --> 00:06:34,523
I was just saying
that while she's at work...
183
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:37,897
This is my work now.
The work of justice.
184
00:06:38,195 --> 00:06:39,928
The only work that matters.
185
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:42,498
Where are you ge...
is this from a play?
186
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:43,836
- No.
- Sandra, look.
187
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,251
I get that this is fun.
188
00:06:45,536 --> 00:06:47,520
But corporate is taking this seriously.
189
00:06:47,938 --> 00:06:49,238
You hear that, everyone?
190
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,407
Corporate is taking us seriously.
191
00:06:51,409 --> 00:06:53,137
No! What I mean is that
192
00:06:53,138 --> 00:06:55,411
corporate is viewing this as a threat.
193
00:06:55,413 --> 00:06:57,264
And they view us as a threat!
194
00:06:57,265 --> 00:06:59,214
You maybe want to think
of your phrasing before
195
00:06:59,216 --> 00:07:00,449
so that you don't twist your words...
196
00:07:00,451 --> 00:07:01,583
Yeah. No, I'm getting that,
197
00:07:01,585 --> 00:07:03,152
Wait, what are you doing?
198
00:07:03,154 --> 00:07:05,320
Can you please not get up on the...
199
00:07:05,322 --> 00:07:07,256
- Okay.
- No, if you could just, San...
200
00:07:07,258 --> 00:07:09,909
Management is trying to silence us.
201
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,761
But our voices will be heard.
202
00:07:12,763 --> 00:07:15,497
No, nobody was trying
to silence anybody.
203
00:07:15,499 --> 00:07:16,999
She was somewhat.
204
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,700
- Glenn!
- What? You were.
205
00:07:18,702 --> 00:07:22,510
Well, if we can't talk here
then we will talk elsewhere.
206
00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:26,487
Union meeting, tonight! Location, TBD.
207
00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:30,524
Time, TBD. Refreshments, T-B-D!
208
00:07:30,525 --> 00:07:35,818
[scattered applause]
209
00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:38,620
[applause]
210
00:07:38,622 --> 00:07:41,723
I just wonder if a union
will lead to more rules.
211
00:07:41,725 --> 00:07:43,091
Like, what if they start making us
212
00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:44,893
wear gloves when we clean the toilets?
213
00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:46,795
You don't wear gloves
when you clean the toilets?
214
00:07:46,797 --> 00:07:48,797
No way. I need my fingernails
215
00:07:48,799 --> 00:07:50,332
to chip away at the caked-on parts.
216
00:07:50,334 --> 00:07:51,934
- Ugh.
- Ugh.
217
00:07:51,936 --> 00:07:53,223
What are you guys talking about?
218
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,706
- Feces.
- Horses.
219
00:07:55,078 --> 00:07:57,666
- Unions.
- Unions? Huh.
220
00:07:58,709 --> 00:08:01,443
Well, you can't talk in here.
The break room is closed.
221
00:08:01,445 --> 00:08:02,459
Wait, why?
222
00:08:03,747 --> 00:08:05,343
Because of the radon problem.
223
00:08:05,344 --> 00:08:07,749
- Too much or too little?
- I think you know.
224
00:08:07,751 --> 00:08:09,548
But where are we supposed to eat lunch?
225
00:08:09,549 --> 00:08:11,820
That doesn't matter to me
as long as you're not together.
226
00:08:11,822 --> 00:08:14,126
So you don't...
cross-contaminate each other.
227
00:08:14,592 --> 00:08:16,391
Um, just go eat in your
cars or something.
228
00:08:16,393 --> 00:08:17,793
I don't have a car.
229
00:08:17,795 --> 00:08:20,095
Fine, then you can go down
to the sub-basement.
230
00:08:20,097 --> 00:08:22,464
Didn't the building inspector
say there was radon there, too?
231
00:08:22,466 --> 00:08:23,966
Of course he did but truthfully
232
00:08:23,968 --> 00:08:26,301
radon is the least
of your worries down there.
233
00:08:26,303 --> 00:08:28,103
Greetings, shoppers!
234
00:08:28,105 --> 00:08:30,818
Check out our great deals on...
235
00:08:31,128 --> 00:08:32,206
Low battery.
236
00:08:34,245 --> 00:08:36,378
Now I heard they're
having a union meeting?
237
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:37,467
It's nothing, Jeff.
238
00:08:37,469 --> 00:08:38,882
I swear I've got it under control.
239
00:08:38,883 --> 00:08:39,869
It's too late!
240
00:08:39,870 --> 00:08:41,500
They're making their plans right now.
241
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:43,472
I mean, yours is one of the
branches they're getting rid of.
242
00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:44,853
What? No!
243
00:08:44,855 --> 00:08:46,630
No, Jeff, no! Wha...
244
00:08:46,631 --> 00:08:49,224
What if I come down there and
I-I-I can talk to them myself?
245
00:08:49,226 --> 00:08:51,660
- It's a five-hour drive!
- Well, then you have
246
00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:54,329
to keep them in that meeting
for five hours, Jeff.
247
00:08:54,331 --> 00:08:55,764
Okay. Well, what if I schedule
248
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,332
a new meeting for five hours from now?
249
00:08:57,334 --> 00:08:59,902
Okay, well, I didn't realize
that was an option.
250
00:08:59,904 --> 00:09:01,703
- Yes, do that.
- Okay, listen.
251
00:09:01,705 --> 00:09:03,906
I can't ask people
to stay all night. So we...
252
00:09:03,908 --> 00:09:06,108
Have I been a koala bear
this whole time?
253
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,676
Yes!
254
00:09:07,678 --> 00:09:09,044
- You're leaving now?
- Yeah.
255
00:09:09,046 --> 00:09:10,646
We have a five-hour drive ahead of us.
256
00:09:10,648 --> 00:09:12,915
Hey, do you think
we'll take 55 over to 72
257
00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:14,883
or shoot up 70 all the way to 57?
258
00:09:14,885 --> 00:09:16,585
- Whatever's faster.
- It's just...
259
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:18,186
a lot of my anecdotes
are location-dependent.
260
00:09:18,188 --> 00:09:19,922
You don't want to hear
a Litchfield story in Mattoon.
261
00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:21,490
What exactly are you
planning to do once
262
00:09:21,492 --> 00:09:22,824
- you get to corporate?
- I don't know.
263
00:09:22,826 --> 00:09:23,625
I guess we'll figure it out on the way.
264
00:09:23,626 --> 00:09:25,448
Are you sure you don't want
me to come with you?
265
00:09:25,449 --> 00:09:27,596
No, I need you to
go to this union meeting
266
00:09:27,598 --> 00:09:29,131
and just make sure
it doesn't get out of hand.
267
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,033
So now we're infiltrating
meetings and trying to take
268
00:09:31,035 --> 00:09:33,368
down groups from the inside?
That's who we are now?
269
00:09:33,370 --> 00:09:34,803
[huffs] Oh, anyone can make something
270
00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,438
- sound bad if they try.
- Yeah, Jonah.
271
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,040
It's like, are you donating money
272
00:09:38,042 --> 00:09:40,442
to charity or are you
bribing them to help orphans?
273
00:09:40,444 --> 00:09:42,177
That's a pretty terrible analogy.
274
00:09:42,179 --> 00:09:43,845
Jonah, we can discuss this later.
275
00:09:43,847 --> 00:09:46,077
But can you please
just do this, for me?
276
00:09:46,891 --> 00:09:48,257
Thank you.
277
00:09:48,259 --> 00:09:49,625
And don't call
while we're on the drive.
278
00:09:49,694 --> 00:09:51,560
This is kind of me and Amy time, okay?
279
00:09:58,108 --> 00:09:59,900
I'm sorry we had to do this
in the store but it's the end
280
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:01,990
of little league season
so everywhere was booked.
281
00:10:01,991 --> 00:10:03,947
- Did you try IHOP?
- Yes, it was booked.
282
00:10:03,949 --> 00:10:05,278
The one on Delmar?
283
00:10:05,584 --> 00:10:07,337
It's... it's too late now.
284
00:10:08,220 --> 00:10:09,653
Anyway, I want to introduce
285
00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:11,555
Robin Green from Retail Workers United.
286
00:10:11,557 --> 00:10:14,406
When I googled
"labor organizer St. Louis"
287
00:10:14,586 --> 00:10:16,828
hers was the first name that came up.
288
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:20,317
[polite applause]
289
00:10:21,234 --> 00:10:25,256
So, like Sandra said
I'm with RWU, and I'm here
290
00:10:25,257 --> 00:10:26,376
to talk to you guys about next steps
291
00:10:26,377 --> 00:10:28,137
and answer any questions you may have.
292
00:10:28,140 --> 00:10:30,507
- Yes?
- Yeah, I was just wondering,
293
00:10:30,509 --> 00:10:32,810
How much our dues were gonna be?
294
00:10:32,812 --> 00:10:34,711
Oh, I think we're getting
a little ahead of ourselves.
295
00:10:34,713 --> 00:10:37,514
Oh, oh, okay. Yeah, I just think
296
00:10:37,516 --> 00:10:38,949
it's a little weird that you
297
00:10:38,951 --> 00:10:41,154
won't tell us how much it's gonna cost.
298
00:10:41,155 --> 00:10:42,486
But... go on.
299
00:10:42,488 --> 00:10:44,138
I will get to that.
300
00:10:44,590 --> 00:10:46,690
Why don't we start with an overview
301
00:10:46,692 --> 00:10:49,226
of how the union process works.
The union...
302
00:10:49,228 --> 00:10:50,318
Marcus?
303
00:10:51,797 --> 00:10:54,131
Hey. What are you guys doing here?
304
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:57,378
- It's a union meeting.
- What are you doing here?
305
00:10:58,471 --> 00:10:59,819
Union meeting.
306
00:11:00,145 --> 00:11:01,738
Why are you in your underwear?
307
00:11:02,174 --> 00:11:03,190
'Cause...
308
00:11:03,609 --> 00:11:05,907
I didn't know what the dress code was.
309
00:11:08,147 --> 00:11:10,347
They weren't thrilled
about staying late
310
00:11:10,349 --> 00:11:12,282
so it's gonna be a tough crowd.
311
00:11:12,284 --> 00:11:13,984
Oh. Okay. Great.
312
00:11:13,986 --> 00:11:16,186
Hey, Amy! Look, it's Chief Saves-a-lot!
313
00:11:16,188 --> 00:11:18,889
- Oh, yeah.
- The original Cloud 9 mascot?
314
00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:20,691
Look he's even got
his cute little piece pipe
315
00:11:20,693 --> 00:11:21,996
with the cloud coming out.
316
00:11:21,997 --> 00:11:23,894
They probably shouldn't still
have that up there.
317
00:11:23,896 --> 00:11:25,362
- Huh.
- Yeah, so...
318
00:11:25,364 --> 00:11:27,097
Claudia Lankow is the person you're
319
00:11:27,099 --> 00:11:29,766
going to want to impress.
SVP of Operations.
320
00:11:29,768 --> 00:11:32,112
She's into dog shows. Breeds pinschers.
321
00:11:32,376 --> 00:11:34,898
- Okay. So I'll work that in?
- Ah!
322
00:11:35,174 --> 00:11:37,007
The first ever issue of
"Stratus Magazine!"
323
00:11:37,009 --> 00:11:40,177
Dina, so sorry, I'm just...
I'm trying to save the branch.
324
00:11:40,179 --> 00:11:41,445
Don't bring me on a safari
and then tell me
325
00:11:41,447 --> 00:11:42,604
not to look at the zebras.
326
00:11:42,605 --> 00:11:44,073
Shoot, look, we've got to get in there.
327
00:11:44,074 --> 00:11:45,983
Are you ready for this?
You can do this.
328
00:11:45,985 --> 00:11:48,423
- Do you really think so?
- I mean, honestly?
329
00:11:48,921 --> 00:11:50,821
It's unlikely.
Once they make a decision,
330
00:11:50,823 --> 00:11:52,156
usually an inertia sets in.
331
00:11:52,158 --> 00:11:54,158
But, nothing to lose!
332
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,693
There are a lot of preconceived notions
333
00:11:56,695 --> 00:11:58,328
of what a union is or isn't,
334
00:11:58,330 --> 00:12:01,198
so I like to start
with a little exercise.
335
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,066
When you think of the word "union,"
336
00:12:03,068 --> 00:12:04,756
what other words come to mind?
337
00:12:07,439 --> 00:12:08,554
- Me?
- Yes.
338
00:12:11,754 --> 00:12:12,709
Um...
339
00:12:12,711 --> 00:12:14,144
Just right off the top of your head.
340
00:12:14,146 --> 00:12:15,855
I say union, you think...
341
00:12:16,048 --> 00:12:17,058
Union.
342
00:12:17,142 --> 00:12:19,142
Okay. Okay, good.
343
00:12:19,251 --> 00:12:22,286
Uh, but we've already
got that one, so...
344
00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,254
It's okay, Glenn.
I would've said union, too.
345
00:12:24,256 --> 00:12:26,390
- You don't have to rub it in.
- I wasn't.
346
00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:28,458
- You're such a dick.
- I...
347
00:12:28,460 --> 00:12:30,527
- What else?
- Organized crime.
348
00:12:30,529 --> 00:12:32,896
Crime. Okay, sure.
349
00:12:32,898 --> 00:12:36,667
I guess there is some history
of that in the past.
350
00:12:36,669 --> 00:12:38,635
It also makes me think
of the Haymarket Riots
351
00:12:38,637 --> 00:12:40,240
and all the lives that were lost.
352
00:12:40,296 --> 00:12:42,997
- So, riots.
- Yeah.
353
00:12:42,999 --> 00:12:43,813
All right!
354
00:12:43,815 --> 00:12:45,275
- Laughter.
- Laughter?
355
00:12:45,277 --> 00:12:47,017
Yeah, like a laugh riot.
356
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,546
Oh, okay. So, um...
357
00:12:49,548 --> 00:12:53,317
These should come from union.
It's not like a word chain.
358
00:12:53,319 --> 00:12:54,985
Oh. Okay, pass.
359
00:12:54,987 --> 00:12:57,421
- Benefits.
- Benefits, good.
360
00:12:57,423 --> 00:12:59,423
- Very good.
- Unionization.
361
00:12:59,425 --> 00:13:01,358
[buzzes] Can't say the word.
362
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,726
This isn't Taboo.
363
00:13:02,728 --> 00:13:03,961
- Incest.
- What?
364
00:13:03,963 --> 00:13:06,563
It's taboo in every culture.
365
00:13:06,565 --> 00:13:08,198
- No, it's just...
- No, it is.
366
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,259
And the Bible.
367
00:13:10,161 --> 00:13:11,258
Incest.
368
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,467
Yes! On the board.
369
00:13:14,883 --> 00:13:17,975
Nobody at Store 1217
is talking about unionizing.
370
00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:20,811
It is just one single employee
371
00:13:20,813 --> 00:13:22,312
- who is...
- An idiot.
372
00:13:22,314 --> 00:13:25,474
A total complete idiot
with no redeeming qualities.
373
00:13:25,884 --> 00:13:28,418
Well, I was gonna say "harmless."
374
00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:29,470
She's harmless.
375
00:13:29,471 --> 00:13:32,010
But idiot also works.
376
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,332
Listen, even if
377
00:13:33,333 --> 00:13:37,294
Ms. Kaluiokalani
were to disappear tomorrow...
378
00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:38,929
Ooh! Love that. Keep talking.
379
00:13:38,931 --> 00:13:40,297
Brick and mortar sales are down.
380
00:13:40,299 --> 00:13:42,466
- That's not your fault.
- No, it's not.
381
00:13:42,468 --> 00:13:45,502
You don't blame the breeder,
you blame the handler.
382
00:13:45,504 --> 00:13:46,582
Right, Claudia?
383
00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,227
I don't know.
384
00:13:48,907 --> 00:13:50,340
Look, it was down to a coin flip
385
00:13:50,342 --> 00:13:51,942
between you guys
and the Bel-Ridge store.
386
00:13:51,944 --> 00:13:54,511
Oh, well close Bel-Ridge.
They're awful.
387
00:13:54,513 --> 00:13:56,713
Yeah, they have a very bad reputation.
388
00:13:56,715 --> 00:13:58,715
Well, of course you guys
are gonna say that.
389
00:13:58,717 --> 00:14:00,050
No, it's true.
390
00:14:00,052 --> 00:14:01,718
A couple of their employees
391
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,388
actually vandalized our store recently.
392
00:14:04,390 --> 00:14:06,590
Totally unprovoked. Just ugliness.
393
00:14:06,592 --> 00:14:08,158
- Mm-hmm.
- And they're also rude
394
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,626
- to the customers.
- Very rude.
395
00:14:09,628 --> 00:14:10,761
Yeah, they've been known to...
396
00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:12,229
shame overweight children.
397
00:14:12,231 --> 00:14:15,265
And a lot of their employees
smoke while they work
398
00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:18,468
so when you walk in
it's just a haze of smoke.
399
00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:22,272
- It's like Beijing.
- Which is weird, because
400
00:14:22,274 --> 00:14:26,323
a lot of them have outdated
views on Chinese people.
401
00:14:27,646 --> 00:14:30,147
[profound silence]
402
00:14:30,149 --> 00:14:33,083
I'm going to be passing out
some union authorization...
403
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:35,946
- I-I'll do it.
- Sure.
404
00:14:36,388 --> 00:14:38,288
Sandra is going to be passing out
405
00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,791
some union authorization cards.
406
00:14:40,793 --> 00:14:41,858
Can I keep mine in my wallet?
407
00:14:41,860 --> 00:14:43,660
Oh, sorry. I should clarify
408
00:14:43,662 --> 00:14:46,897
that filling these out
is actually the first step
409
00:14:46,899 --> 00:14:49,499
in establishing a union.
So after you sign,
410
00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:51,968
I file them with the
National Labor Relations Board.
411
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,403
I'm going to laminate mine.
412
00:14:53,405 --> 00:14:56,807
Uh, no. Again, I do need those back.
413
00:14:56,809 --> 00:14:58,408
But will we ever see them again?
414
00:14:58,410 --> 00:14:59,626
You don't n...
415
00:15:01,547 --> 00:15:03,146
Yes. You will all see
416
00:15:03,148 --> 00:15:05,515
your cards again at some point.
But no one should feel
417
00:15:05,517 --> 00:15:07,784
like they're being coerced
into signing.
418
00:15:07,786 --> 00:15:09,486
I don't think I'm coercing anyone.
419
00:15:09,488 --> 00:15:12,967
No, not consciously.
But your tone was intimidating.
420
00:15:13,424 --> 00:15:15,959
- What is up with you lately?
- Yeah, you used to be
421
00:15:15,961 --> 00:15:18,328
all "rah-rah
unions are awesome" and now
422
00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:20,297
it seems like you don't
even want to do this anymore.
423
00:15:20,299 --> 00:15:21,765
Maybe it was because back then
424
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:23,300
he wasn't sleeping with the manager.
425
00:15:23,302 --> 00:15:25,402
All: Oh!
426
00:15:25,404 --> 00:15:27,871
- Wait, is that true?
- Yes, because back then
427
00:15:27,873 --> 00:15:29,239
I was the manager.
428
00:15:29,241 --> 00:15:31,468
But I would never cheat on my wife.
429
00:15:31,577 --> 00:15:33,076
And certainly not with Jonah.
430
00:15:33,078 --> 00:15:35,558
I'd do it with her friend Diane.
431
00:15:36,749 --> 00:15:38,648
I'm saying if you are dating the boss,
432
00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:41,852
well then that explains
why you're so anti-labor.
433
00:15:41,854 --> 00:15:43,220
No! That has nothing to do...
434
00:15:43,222 --> 00:15:44,654
Yeah, you can't be pro-labor
435
00:15:44,656 --> 00:15:47,124
when you're having sex
with the boss all the time.
436
00:15:47,126 --> 00:15:48,158
All: Oh!
437
00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:49,693
Guys, I'm not anti-labor, okay?
438
00:15:49,695 --> 00:15:50,909
I'm just saying...
439
00:15:52,731 --> 00:15:54,317
retail is dying.
440
00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:57,000
And we're already being
replaced by machines
441
00:15:57,002 --> 00:15:59,489
that can do our jobs
better and faster than us.
442
00:15:59,738 --> 00:16:03,206
And-and most of us have no education,
443
00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:06,843
no skills, and are
just generally terrible.
444
00:16:06,845 --> 00:16:07,848
No offense.
445
00:16:08,211 --> 00:16:12,649
So maybe we should just be
happy with what we've got.
446
00:16:12,651 --> 00:16:17,532
You know? Because for most of us this
is as good as it's ever gonna get.
447
00:16:22,995 --> 00:16:25,782
That said, I'm generally pro-labor.
448
00:16:27,099 --> 00:16:29,733
[phone trilling]
449
00:16:29,735 --> 00:16:31,450
Could I take a couple pens?
450
00:16:31,451 --> 00:16:32,527
Sure.
451
00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:37,588
[phone trilling]
452
00:16:38,844 --> 00:16:40,437
- [click]
- Hello?
453
00:16:40,946 --> 00:16:44,014
Hi, Laurie, it's Claudia and Dan.
454
00:16:44,016 --> 00:16:45,342
And Jeff. Sutton!
455
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,673
- And Jeff.
- Hey, guys!
456
00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:49,687
- What's going on?
- Hi, listen.
457
00:16:49,688 --> 00:16:51,288
We're shutting down one of the stores
458
00:16:51,290 --> 00:16:52,823
in your district, and it's between
459
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:55,769
Bel-Ridge and Ozark Highlands.
Do you have any thoughts?
460
00:16:56,128 --> 00:16:58,795
That's easy.
I can't stand the manager at...
461
00:16:58,797 --> 00:17:00,764
Oh!
462
00:17:00,766 --> 00:17:02,833
So sorry! Sorry, hi!
463
00:17:02,835 --> 00:17:05,168
Laurie, it's Amy Sosa. I'm here too.
464
00:17:05,170 --> 00:17:08,138
I-I apologize.
I'm just a little bit jittery.
465
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:11,141
I had five Cokes on my
way over here and, uh,
466
00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:14,945
I've tried to kick the habit
but I just can't seem to do it.
467
00:17:14,947 --> 00:17:18,260
- I'm a Coke fiend.
- That's... fine.
468
00:17:18,717 --> 00:17:20,126
Laurie, you were saying?
469
00:17:21,453 --> 00:17:22,886
[inhales] Bel-Ridge.
470
00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:24,821
- I would close Bel-Ridge.
- Oh.
471
00:17:24,823 --> 00:17:26,656
Okay, thank you. Very helpful.
472
00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:28,409
Thank you so much, Laurie! Bye!
473
00:17:30,996 --> 00:17:32,822
Well, there you have it.
474
00:17:33,432 --> 00:17:37,400
So going forward do we talk
once a day or twice a day?
475
00:17:37,402 --> 00:17:39,269
Oh, let's just see how it goes.
476
00:17:39,271 --> 00:17:41,757
Great. So should we meet
for breakfast in the morning?
477
00:17:42,474 --> 00:17:45,203
It doesn't look like the
union's going to happen, huh?
478
00:17:45,644 --> 00:17:49,536
Um, I don't know. Maybe not now, but...
479
00:17:50,249 --> 00:17:51,982
hopefully some time down the line.
480
00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:54,751
Yeah. It's too bad.
481
00:17:55,220 --> 00:17:59,270
In my 30 years here, this is
the closest we ever got.
482
00:17:59,691 --> 00:18:01,091
[yawns]
483
00:18:01,093 --> 00:18:03,159
All right, got a long
drive ahead of me.
484
00:18:03,161 --> 00:18:05,634
- See you tomorrow.
- Night, Marcus.
485
00:18:08,066 --> 00:18:11,067
[playful music]
486
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:18,397
The hand dryers in the
seventh floor ladies room
487
00:18:18,399 --> 00:18:20,566
are deafening.
It's like a jet taking off.
488
00:18:21,188 --> 00:18:23,125
If you're ever at corporate
do yourself a favor.
489
00:18:23,126 --> 00:18:24,709
Did you see those business ladies
490
00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:27,034
who wear skirts and
sneakers at the same time?
491
00:18:27,035 --> 00:18:29,546
No, they change into pumps
at the office.
492
00:18:29,547 --> 00:18:31,913
The sneakers are for running
into the street yelling,
493
00:18:31,914 --> 00:18:32,948
"Taxi!"
494
00:18:33,173 --> 00:18:34,439
Oh.
495
00:18:34,469 --> 00:18:36,079
Oh, can I have one of these pens?
496
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,392
Absolutely not.
497
00:18:40,429 --> 00:18:41,637
These are my pens.
498
00:18:48,958 --> 00:18:51,730
So, how's baby Rose doing?
Any new teeth coming in?
499
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:54,189
Why, so you can pluck
them out with your pliers?
500
00:18:55,043 --> 00:18:56,649
Stay away from my daughter.
501
00:18:56,650 --> 00:18:58,424
Come on. Look, I do one bad thing?
502
00:18:58,425 --> 00:19:01,067
That doesn't negate all the good
things I've done in my life.
503
00:19:01,123 --> 00:19:02,814
Name one good thing that you've done.
504
00:19:02,815 --> 00:19:04,076
I don't know. A lot of stuff.
505
00:19:04,178 --> 00:19:06,003
I mean, how do you define "good"?
506
00:19:06,153 --> 00:19:07,582
What's a good thing you've done?
507
00:19:07,583 --> 00:19:10,609
I donated one of my kidneys
to a total stranger.
508
00:19:10,611 --> 00:19:12,076
Okay, yeah. All right.
509
00:19:12,077 --> 00:19:14,179
Well, sure. That's good.
510
00:19:14,181 --> 00:19:15,960
I mean you did that, like, anonymously?
511
00:19:16,177 --> 00:19:17,843
Of course, anonymously.
512
00:19:18,382 --> 00:19:22,244
Good people don't need credit
when they do good things.
513
00:19:22,526 --> 00:19:23,548
Well...
514
00:19:24,634 --> 00:19:25,651
Me too.
515
00:19:25,673 --> 00:19:28,854
I've done a lot of anonymous stuff too.
516
00:19:28,855 --> 00:19:29,893
Yeah, right.
517
00:19:31,889 --> 00:19:32,932
Have you?
518
00:19:33,937 --> 00:19:35,558
Shh.
519
00:19:36,387 --> 00:19:38,542
You little devil.
520
00:19:44,128 --> 00:19:46,128
[line trilling]
521
00:19:46,263 --> 00:19:49,005
Jerusha, I told the kidney lie again.
522
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,188
And then I had to sit
in the lobby for 20 minutes
523
00:19:52,189 --> 00:19:53,504
while Dina had sex with the waiter
524
00:19:53,505 --> 00:19:54,903
from Michael Jordan's Steak House.
525
00:19:55,442 --> 00:19:57,157
That sounds like quite an adventure.
526
00:19:57,521 --> 00:19:59,083
So, tell me more about the meeting.
527
00:19:59,084 --> 00:20:00,343
I already told you everything.
528
00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:01,171
I did what I could.
529
00:20:01,177 --> 00:20:02,580
No, but like, tell me more.
530
00:20:02,581 --> 00:20:04,919
Like, like, who was the most into it?
531
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,804
What, like you want, like, names?
532
00:20:06,805 --> 00:20:08,606
Yeah. So I can keep an eye on them.
533
00:20:09,081 --> 00:20:10,754
I'm not going to tell you that.
534
00:20:10,755 --> 00:20:13,586
Jonah, why are you being
so weird about this?
535
00:20:13,587 --> 00:20:15,437
Me? You're the one who said
536
00:20:15,439 --> 00:20:17,146
to keep the union thing under control,
537
00:20:17,147 --> 00:20:18,682
and now you want me to give you names?
538
00:20:18,683 --> 00:20:19,517
Who are you?
539
00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:21,457
I'm trying to save
everybody their jobs.
540
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:23,490
You're trying to save somebody's job.
541
00:20:26,402 --> 00:20:27,543
That's not fair.
542
00:20:29,117 --> 00:20:30,877
I'm sorry. I jus... it just...
543
00:20:30,878 --> 00:20:33,121
There was actually some
momentum to finally
544
00:20:33,528 --> 00:20:35,528
get this thing done an I - I...
545
00:20:39,335 --> 00:20:40,338
I'm sorry.
546
00:20:43,297 --> 00:20:44,343
Welcome back.
547
00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:50,414
And the first ten employees
who sign these cards
548
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,608
get to be a part of "Sandra's Angels."
549
00:20:52,610 --> 00:20:56,360
It's a club that meets at my house
to watch TV and eat sliders.
550
00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:57,449
Hey.
551
00:20:58,956 --> 00:20:59,956
I'm in.
552
00:21:01,569 --> 00:21:02,656
Let's do this
553
00:21:05,369 --> 00:21:06,369
Thank you!
554
00:21:07,836 --> 00:21:09,836
Is your mobile also your home phone?
555
00:21:10,156 --> 00:21:12,802
I need to know if your
mobile's also your home phone!
556
00:21:14,715 --> 00:21:15,715
Johna!
41057
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