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1
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,214
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:14,148 --> 00:00:16,050
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,654
* Get a feeling like you need
4
00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:22,490
* Some kind of change
5
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,461
* No matter what
the odds are this time
6
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,930
* Nothing's going
to stand in my way
7
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,465
* This flame in my heart
8
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,234
* Like a long-lost friend
9
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:34,835
* Gives every dark street
10
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:37,371
* A light at the end
11
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:41,275
* Standing tall
12
00:00:41,342 --> 00:00:44,312
* On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:48,082
* Rise and fall
14
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:51,852
* On the wings of my dream
15
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:53,387
* Through the rain and thunder
16
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,089
* The wind and haze
17
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:57,525
* I'm bound for better days
18
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,228
* It's my life
19
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:01,795
* And my dream
20
00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,832
* And nothing's
gonna stop me now *
21
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,084
This is very exciting.
22
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,687
An article by Larry Appleton
23
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,456
on the front page
of the Chronicle.
24
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:30,558
Well, actually,
it's by Marshall and Walpole
25
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:35,028
but they'll mention
that I worked on it.
26
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:41,735
Well, here it is.
27
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:43,437
Nifty title, Larry.
28
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,873
Well, actually, Marshall
thought of the title.
29
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,375
But I put in the punctuation.
30
00:01:49,543 --> 00:01:51,812
Cousin, question.
When they launder money...
31
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:55,416
do they have to wash the tens
and the twenties separately?
32
00:01:57,285 --> 00:01:59,953
No, Balki, money laundering
is taking money
33
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:02,022
that's been made illegally
and funneling it
34
00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,825
through a legitimate business
so that it's not traceable
35
00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,093
to the illegal source.
36
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,062
Oh, I get it. I...
37
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:11,865
So is static cling a problem?
38
00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:19,573
Not if they use
a fabric softener.
39
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,844
Larry, I don't see
your name here.
40
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,846
Well, it wouldn't be
on the front page.
41
00:02:25,913 --> 00:02:28,582
But at the end of the article
42
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,351
who contributed to the story.
43
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:36,156
Oh, cousin! Cousin!
Cousin, I see something!
44
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:40,528
I see something!
(GASPING)
45
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,396
-Italics.
-No, it's English.
46
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:47,701
"The Chronicle's
investigative reporting team
47
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:48,969
"of Marshall and Walpole
48
00:02:49,036 --> 00:02:51,239
"has won two Pulitzer prizes."
49
00:02:54,041 --> 00:02:55,343
That's it?
50
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,478
No "Research by Larry Appleton?"
51
00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:03,617
No "We would have been lost
without Larry Appleton"?
52
00:03:03,684 --> 00:03:05,686
Cousin, slow down.
What was that last one?
53
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:06,687
Oh, forget it!
54
00:03:06,754 --> 00:03:08,889
They didn't mention me at all.
55
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,493
Oh, cousin.
56
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:15,929
Don't be too bummed out.
57
00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:19,333
Your time will come.
You just have to be patient.
58
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,702
JENNIFER: Balki is right.
59
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:23,237
Larry, I've been
a flight attendant
60
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:26,073
for the last five years.
61
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,809
Then yesterday, they made me
head of my own flight crew.
62
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:31,645
Congratulations.
63
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,447
Well, that's wonderful.
64
00:03:37,285 --> 00:03:39,520
Well, I was waiting
for the right time.
65
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,923
I worked just as hard
as you have
66
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,225
and I'm only head
of beverage service,
67
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:50,831
Um, maybe we'd better go.
68
00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,800
Uh, I'll talk to you
tomorrow, Larry.
69
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,235
-Bye.
-Bye.
70
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:56,504
I was going to tell you.
71
00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:01,975
When? At 30,000 feet
72
00:04:02,042 --> 00:04:03,677
Can you believe that?
73
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,347
No, I can't.
74
00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:09,517
That second-hand smoke
can be pretty nauseating.
75
00:04:13,153 --> 00:04:14,555
do a five-page story
76
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,824
and they don't
give me any credit.
77
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:17,958
Now, listen, cousin.
78
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,030
know how hard you
worked on that article.
79
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,633
And you can bet they are going
to give you credit.
80
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,769
They're going to give you
so much credit
81
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,305
you won't have to carry
cash for a year!
82
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,843
Well, I'd be happy
with a few pats on the back
83
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:42,182
for a job well done.
84
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,418
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
85
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,428
Well, Balki,
86
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:57,931
And I've heard
a lot of compliments
87
00:04:57,998 --> 00:04:59,800
for Marshall and Walpole
88
00:04:59,867 --> 00:05:03,337
but I'm still waiting
for my first pat on the back.
89
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,473
Well, uh, cousin,
you know, remember?
90
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,975
Sorry, my second
pat on the back.
91
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:12,546
Balki, I'm gonna
to take these books
92
00:05:12,613 --> 00:05:13,614
back to the archives
93
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,549
and then we can get out of here.
94
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,425
Excuse me.
95
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,461
Uh, I'm looking
for Marshall and Walpole.
96
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:29,129
Oh, they're not here.
97
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:30,698
They went to the TV station
98
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,200
to be on Nightline
with Ted Koppel
99
00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,803
live from Chicago via cellulite.
100
00:05:39,473 --> 00:05:41,775
But I have to talk to somebody.
101
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:45,979
It's about that money
laundering article.
102
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,482
He's one of the Chronicle's
top reporters
103
00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:50,518
and not many people know this.
104
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,420
In fact, nobody seems to know it
105
00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:56,590
but, if it wasn't
for Cousin Larry
106
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:59,893
that article
would never have been written.
107
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,366
Come on, Balki,
let's hit the road.
108
00:06:06,434 --> 00:06:08,436
Cousin. Cousin.
Cousin, this nice man
109
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:16,143
wants to talk to you
110
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,846
Yeah. Yeah, I know.
111
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,348
Another Pulitzer prize
for Marshall and Walpole.
112
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,950
-Thanks for dropping by.
-Cousin?
113
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,352
Well, uh, you may think
it's wonderfully written
114
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:26,420
but I don't.
115
00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:30,123
I've never seen an article
116
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,759
How about that!
117
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:34,562
Cousin, people are
starting to notice!
118
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,532
Well, maybe you should
get your eyes examined
119
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,333
because I personally checked
120
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,636
and double-checked
every fact myself.
121
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,238
Is he good or what?
122
00:06:45,305 --> 00:06:47,107
Well, then, you should have
triple-checked them
123
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,510
because that article
was filled with half-truths
124
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:52,412
fabrications and downright
misrepresentations.
125
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:54,915
Wow, cousin.
126
00:06:54,982 --> 00:06:57,585
Sounds like you've
got yourself a fan.
127
00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,589
Alright, now. Wait a minute.
128
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,491
I broke my back on that article.
129
00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,758
I worked nights, weekends
130
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,594
I haven't had lunch for a month!
131
00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:09,196
-I don't believe this!
-I don't either!
132
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,267
I spend all day waiting for any
kind of acknowledgment
133
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,904
and my first pat on the back
is a slap in the face.
134
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:20,440
Um, second pat on the back...
135
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:22,510
Thank you, so very, very much.
136
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:25,813
Now, get out of here
before I throw you out.
137
00:07:25,879 --> 00:07:28,181
Well, I'm not leaving
until I get satisfaction.
138
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,718
Oh, fine. You stay.
We're leaving.
139
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:34,321
Well, uh, actually,
nobody is going anywhere.
140
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,723
Oh, really?
141
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,157
And how are you
going to stop us?
142
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,292
With this.
143
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,094
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
144
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:43,964
Oh, my Lord.
145
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,884
You know, actually
I didn't really have
146
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:07,621
that much to do
with the article.
147
00:08:07,688 --> 00:08:09,557
was done by people
much higher up than I am.
148
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,659
I just handled the spelling.
149
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:14,995
Don't you listen to him.
150
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,397
Cousin Larry's
just being modest.
151
00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,866
The truth of the matter is
152
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:20,801
if it hadn't
have been for Cousin Larry
153
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:23,170
that article would never
have been printed.
154
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,575
Could you tape his mouth?
155
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:35,248
That's not too tight, is it?
156
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:37,685
But you know, next time
you might want to think about
157
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:39,519
using a sheep shank knot.
158
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:43,523
It allows some freedom
of movement
159
00:08:43,591 --> 00:08:45,025
with a minimum of chafing.
160
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,729
I can do a sheep shank.
161
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:52,265
Get out of the city!
162
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:53,934
You know a sheep shank knot?
163
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,639
He's not going
for a merit badge.
164
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:02,409
He's threatening to blow us up.
165
00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,544
Well, how would he do that?
166
00:09:08,682 --> 00:09:10,918
-Twenty four.
-24 sticks of dynamite,
167
00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:19,793
They're not purely decorative?
168
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,934
No, they're not
purely decorative.
169
00:09:30,437 --> 00:09:32,072
Well, then,
170
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:35,909
uh, that would
constitute a bomb.
171
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,747
Yes. Yes, it would.
172
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,918
This man could blow us up.
173
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,822
We should never have let him
174
00:09:48,889 --> 00:09:50,590
tie us to this chair.
175
00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,799
Who are you?
Why are you doing this?
176
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:01,635
-Who am I?
-And why are you doing this?
177
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:05,038
And why am I doing this?
(SCOFFS)
178
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,907
Some fine reporter you are.
179
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:09,342
You don't even know
who Marvin Berman is?
180
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,747
that's the story of my life.
181
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,117
takes all the credit.
182
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:22,656
I need to be recognized.
I need to be acknowledged!
183
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,658
I need my own place in the sun!
184
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,960
Sounds like you need
a Club Med vacation.
185
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:32,199
You're foreign, aren't you?
186
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:45,112
Bartokomous, play "Cowboys
and Indians" on your own time.
187
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:49,382
And you? You don't
even work here. Take a hike.
188
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,553
Gorpley, don't antagonize him.
189
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,355
He's got a bomb.
190
00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:56,623
A bomb?
191
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,759
(CHUCKLING)
Yeah. Right.
192
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,861
A bomb.
(CHUCKLING)
193
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,396
(GASPS)
A bomb.
194
00:11:04,765 --> 00:11:07,300
Oh, my God. He's got a bomb.
195
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:11,972
Please, please,
you've got to let me go.
196
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:14,842
I've got four kids
and a pregnant wife at home.
197
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,145
Mr. Gorpley!
198
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:21,248
This must have been
some whirlpool romance!
199
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,786
Just this morning
you were single.
200
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:28,956
Shouldn't you tape his mouth?
201
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,660
Okay, okay. How about this?
202
00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:36,730
I've got my whole life
ahead of me.
203
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,799
-I've already got hostages.
-Oh.
204
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:42,803
But you...
205
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:46,840
Oh, I can do that.
206
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,141
and if I don't get what I want
207
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,543
I'm blowing this building
to kingdom come.
208
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:52,846
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
209
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:57,017
(SIREN WAILING)
210
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:00,954
Alright, listen, lieutenant,
the next time this phone rings
211
00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:03,656
it better be the publisher.
212
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:04,724
or I am blowing this building up
213
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:07,194
and I am setting the timer, now.
214
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:11,498
Oh, hey! Uh, Marvin.
Marvin, question here.
215
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:12,732
What is it?
216
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:13,801
(STAMMERING)
Just out of...
217
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,302
Just out of idle curiosity,
218
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:18,438
(STAMMERING)
what is it that you want?
219
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:24,444
(SIGHS)
Well, alright.
220
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,379
Excuse me. Excuse me, Marvin.
221
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,949
Before you get
bogged down in the details
222
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,650
aren't you forgetting something?
223
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:31,985
No, I don't think so.
224
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:35,122
Yes. You were about
to set your timer.
225
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,861
(SIGHS)
226
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,330
Thanks. Where is my head?
227
00:12:45,833 --> 00:12:48,235
(DIGITAL BEEPS)
228
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,572
Why did you tell him
to set the timer?
229
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,843
Because if he doesn't
set the timer...
230
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,110
(GASPING)
231
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,185
Bad move, huh?
232
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:10,557
Marvin, why are you doing this
233
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,792
over a silly article?
234
00:13:12,860 --> 00:13:13,861
Because it gave all the credit
235
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,228
to that idiot boss of mine.
236
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:17,130
When the real mastermind
237
00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:18,565
behind the money
laundering scheme
238
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:20,700
was me.
239
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,269
-You?
-Yes.
240
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,706
I set up the fake bank accounts.
241
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:28,375
I picked out
the office furniture.
242
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:32,412
Why haven't I ever heard of you?
243
00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:33,847
I've been roommates
for three years...
244
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:36,449
Not you! Not you!
245
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:40,120
Him! Why haven't I
ever heard of him?
246
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,891
Well, how should I know?
247
00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:45,558
Marvin, could you enlighten us?
248
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,461
Because I'm just the accountant.
249
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,797
And no one pays any attention
to the accountant
250
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:54,667
but they will now.
251
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:57,604
I'm gonna make the Chronicle
print a retraction.
252
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,239
A retraction? A retraction!
253
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,008
Good idea.
Now that's constructive!
254
00:14:01,074 --> 00:14:04,177
But what kind of retraction?
255
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,913
Marvin! Marvin! Marvin!
256
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,749
You should know
exactly what you want
257
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,284
before the publisher
calls because
258
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,686
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
we don't have a lot of
259
00:14:13,753 --> 00:14:14,955
time here.
260
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,392
You know,
you're absolutely right!
261
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,361
I didn't think this far ahead.
262
00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:23,463
Well, I've been kind of busy.
263
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,999
I had to go all the way
to Skokie to get the timer.
264
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,403
to Sal's Hardware
on Lincoln Avenue.
265
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:33,206
They got everything.
266
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:38,678
You know what they say
267
00:14:38,745 --> 00:14:40,247
Marvin, listen.
268
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,582
You should write down
your demands.
269
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,317
Why don't you just take
a few moments,
270
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,419
you know, private moments
for yourself
271
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:49,656
away from all this hustle
and this bustle.
272
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,959
You know, there's
a private office back there.
273
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:54,761
That's a good idea.
274
00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:56,663
Alright, um, I'll be right back.
275
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,634
Come on, Balki.
Let's get out of here.
276
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:02,902
Head for the loading dock.
277
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:08,675
Hey, guys.
278
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,548
Can I run this by you?
279
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,450
What do you think
I should call myself?
280
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,220
Criminal mastermind
or diabolical genius?
281
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:23,423
Diabolical genius.
282
00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:26,393
I don't know.
It's a little too Batman.
283
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:29,963
Marvin, listen.
284
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,565
You know, I think
this whole bomb thing
285
00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:34,201
is the wrong way to go.
286
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,702
I mean, even if they
print a retraction
287
00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,071
I don't see how
you can avoid going to jail.
288
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,407
Well, he could turn
state's evidence.
289
00:15:40,473 --> 00:15:42,609
-State's evidence?
-Yes!
290
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:45,212
That way you could tell
your side of the story
291
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,680
get the recognition
you so richly deserve
292
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,717
participate in the federal
witness protection program
293
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:53,220
and avoid a lengthy prison term.
294
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,055
Balki, where did you learn
about state's evidence?
295
00:15:55,122 --> 00:15:56,589
On the all new Columbo.
296
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:01,294
Marvin,
297
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:03,596
Balki is right.
If you turn yourself in
298
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:09,169
testify against your boss
299
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:10,903
-Me?
-LARRY: Yes.
300
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,505
-A hero?
-Absolutely.
301
00:16:19,046 --> 00:16:20,247
People magazine?
302
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,617
And talk shows.
Maybe even a book.
303
00:16:24,684 --> 00:16:25,685
I'd help you write it!
304
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:30,457
The sooner you untie us
305
00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:31,524
I'll do it!
306
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:36,229
Oh, and, you know, Marvin,
307
00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:37,997
uh, you also might want to
308
00:16:38,065 --> 00:16:39,532
turn off your bomb.
309
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:44,604
You know, I never really meant
it to go this far anyway.
310
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,975
(DIGITAL BEEPS)
311
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,443
I hate these digital clocks.
312
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,146
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
313
00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:55,715
Guys. Guys, it won't turn off.
314
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:57,517
Oh.
315
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,787
(DIGITAL BEEPING)
316
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,289
Well, you should have
gone to Sal's.
317
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,690
I'm not going to say it again.
318
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,295
Marvin! Do something!
319
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,929
Don't rush me!
320
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:13,466
I'm not good under pressure.
321
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:16,636
So, I just have to
pull the red wire.
322
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:17,704
Or is it the white one?
323
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:22,041
I don't know!
324
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,443
Oh, guys.
325
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,245
Guys, I'm no good in the field.
326
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:29,082
Whoa!
327
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:33,720
Oh, I feel kind of sick.
328
00:17:33,786 --> 00:17:37,224
-No! No! No! No!
-I am! I am!
329
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:39,826
Marvin? Marvin?
You all right? Okay?
330
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,161
Okay. Okay.
331
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:42,662
Whoa, I'm okay.
332
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,734
Oh, my God!
333
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:48,901
He's out cold.
334
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,470
Balki, we've only got a minute!
335
00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:51,738
Let's get out of here!
336
00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:56,343
Balki!
337
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:58,178
Cousin, I can't leave him
like this.
338
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,980
I've got to try to turn off
the bomb. Go ahead without me.
339
00:18:01,047 --> 00:18:03,283
(SIGHS WEARILY)
I hate when you do this.
340
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,621
Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!
341
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,223
Red wire, white wire,
uh, red light at night
342
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:13,926
sailor's delight.
343
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:17,164
A green wire!
344
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,065
Marvin! Marvin!
345
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:21,901
What about
the green wire, Marvin?
346
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,137
Tell us about the green wire!
347
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,872
Cousin. Cousin! Cousin!
348
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:30,677
I'm going to try the red one.
349
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,246
No, Balki, don't.
What if we make a mistake?
350
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,482
Well, Cousin, we've got
five seconds left!
351
00:18:35,548 --> 00:18:37,217
What's the worst
that could happen?
352
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,452
(RAPID DIGITAL BEEPING)
353
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:40,520
Do it!
354
00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:43,156
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
355
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,194
You did it!
We're alive! We're alive!
356
00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:51,764
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
357
00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:57,837
"Police took Marvin Berman
358
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,005
"to Chicago General
359
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:00,307
"where he is being held
360
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,409
"for psychiatric observation."
361
00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:07,314
Oh, Larry, your first
front page story.
362
00:19:16,122 --> 00:19:17,324
Oh, Balki,
363
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,828
your first bomb defusing.
364
00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:24,797
I'm so proud of you.
365
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,712
Well, uh, we'd better get going.
366
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,585
I have to be in at work by 7:00.
367
00:19:45,652 --> 00:19:47,587
I thought we didn't
have to be at work until 10:00.
368
00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:51,791
Well, the head
of the flight crew
369
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:53,426
has to get in early.
370
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:55,695
Oh, throw it in my face,
why don't you?
371
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,798
What is your problem,
you acted the same way
372
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,933
when I was elected
class treasurer?
373
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,435
You were elected
class treasurer?
374
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,304
Another thing you never told me!
375
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,675
Mary Anne, you were
my campaign manager.
376
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,279
Oh, right!
377
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,284
Cousin, look at this.
378
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:19,486
Here's another article
about Marvin.
379
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:21,688
Really?
380
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:24,457
"Marvin Berman, self-confessed
criminal mastermind..."
381
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,759
Oh, I'm glad he went
with criminal mastermind.
382
00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:32,732
"has opted to do a book
telling his side of the story
383
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,601
"with Pulitzer prize winning
journalists
384
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:36,336
"Marshall and Walpole."
385
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,373
Are those guys
on a roll or what?
386
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:45,978
I don't believe it.
That book was my idea.
387
00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,514
When am I gonna get a break?
388
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:51,351
Cousin, wait a minute.
Are you listening to yourself?
389
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,723
Well, so did Marvin Berman.
390
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,558
And look what happened to him.
391
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:02,862
Cousin, yesterday all you wanted
392
00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,465
was your name
in little tiny letters
393
00:21:05,532 --> 00:21:08,435
at the end of a very
long article.
394
00:21:08,501 --> 00:21:12,505
And today you got your name
in big black letters
395
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:15,007
on the front page
396
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,776
and you're still not happy.
397
00:21:18,311 --> 00:21:20,647
If you ask me, you can't see
398
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,749
DeForest Kelley for the trees.
399
00:21:27,987 --> 00:21:29,989
I guess things are going
pretty well, aren't they?
400
00:21:30,056 --> 00:21:32,625
Well, isn't that
the undergarment of the year?
401
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:39,899
Balki, don't you wanna
read my article?
402
00:21:39,966 --> 00:21:41,968
Why cousin?
You already read it to us.
403
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:44,003
And very well, I might add.
404
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:47,340
Well, you might at least, uh,
take a look at the very end.
405
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:56,383
"Balki Bartokomous contributed
to this article."
406
00:22:02,288 --> 00:22:03,823
My name in the paper.
407
00:22:05,257 --> 00:22:07,093
Wait until mama sees this.
408
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,164
Thank you, cousin.
409
00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:13,666
You're welcome.
410
00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:16,403
Listen, cousin, maybe someday
411
00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:19,372
the team of Bartokomous
and Appleton
412
00:22:19,439 --> 00:22:21,007
will win a Pulitzer prize.
413
00:22:26,413 --> 00:22:28,881
-Appleton and Bartokomous.
-You're absolutely right. Yeah.
414
00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:34,487
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
29094
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