Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,881
* Sometimes the world
looks perfect
2
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,384
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,620
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:23,791
* Like you need some
kind of change
5
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:27,295
* No matter what
the odds are this time
6
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,597
* Nothing's going
to stand in my way
7
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:33,301
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
8
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:38,339
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:41,242
* Standing tall
10
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:45,213
* On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,048
* Rise and fall
12
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:51,985
* On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,421
* The rain and thunder
14
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,089
* The wind and haze
15
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:58,526
* I'm bound for better days
16
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,895
* It's my life and my dream
17
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:05,433
* Nothing's gonna stop me now
* Nothing's gonna stop me
18
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:08,602
* It's my life and my dream
19
00:01:08,669 --> 00:01:12,173
* Nothing's gonna stop me now
20
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:22,450
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
21
00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:52,746
That's the last one.
22
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:55,549
Darn. One more and we would've
had a perfect pyramid.
23
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:58,018
Why don't we use this one?
No, Balki, no.
24
00:01:58,085 --> 00:02:00,354
What? Perfect.
25
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:05,293
Obviously, you don't know
the first thing about physics.
26
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:10,898
Morning, gentlemen.
And I use the word incorrectly.
27
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:13,601
Good morning,
Mr. Twinkacetti.
28
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,835
Ha.
29
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:19,540
Oh, look what you got,
you lucky son of a goat.
30
00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:23,744
It's my driver's license.
I just got it renewed.
31
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,746
Congratulations.
32
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,482
Oh, to get an official
document like that
33
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,918
must make you so aroused.
34
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:39,893
Oh, it's a wonderful thing,
a driver's license.
35
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,396
I don't have
a driver's license.
36
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:44,298
And I want to thank you both
37
00:02:44,365 --> 00:02:48,001
for letting me hang out
with you anyway.
38
00:02:48,068 --> 00:02:51,239
What are you talking about?
Your driver's license.
39
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:54,408
Your membership card
to the American dream.
40
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,477
Balki, it's only
a driver's license.
41
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:59,380
Only a driver's license?
42
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,750
Is the Lincoln Memorial
only a building?
43
00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:07,187
Is Mount Rushmore
only a chunk of stone?
44
00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:11,259
Is Merv Griffin
only a talk show host?
45
00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:15,796
Well, it's hard to argue
when you put it like that.
46
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,266
Didn't you have a driver's
license back in Mypos?
47
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,200
Well, we only had one car.
48
00:03:20,268 --> 00:03:24,438
My family only had one car.
My country only had one car.
49
00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:28,909
Which is a good thing
50
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:32,012
Come on, Twinkacetti, Balki
could get a driver's license.
51
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:38,652
I could?
Sure.
52
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,288
That doesn't
make any difference.
53
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,923
You can still get
a driver's license.
54
00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,893
You're teasing Balki.
No. It's no big deal.
55
00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:49,597
All you need is someone
to teach you how to drive.
56
00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,899
Will you teach me?
Well, sure.
57
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,601
I'm your friend.
58
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,102
In your car?
59
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,137
Uh, in my car?
60
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,907
Uh, Balki, I don't think
that's a good idea.
61
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:04,945
Why not?
62
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:07,548
I mean, my car
is very special to me.
63
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:11,452
I spent years saving nickels
and dimes so that I could...
64
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:15,456
I mean, it's not that
I don't trust you.
65
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:18,992
It's just that, uh...
Well, see, uh...
66
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:23,196
How can I say this?
67
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,998
That's it.
68
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:30,103
Well, that's not entirely it.
69
00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:33,140
Well, that's not true.
Fifty bucks says he can't.
70
00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:35,409
I'm not even gonna
dignify that with a response.
71
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:40,013
Translated, that means your pal
doesn't think you can do it.
72
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:45,753
Put your money
where your mouth is.
73
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:49,156
All right, you got a bet.
And I'll teach him in my car.
74
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:50,624
You will?
Did I say it?
75
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:52,893
Yes.
Damn.
76
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,763
You're on.
77
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,432
It's gonna be like
taking candy from a baby.
78
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,968
I haven't done that
in a while either.
79
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,372
My very own driver's license.
80
00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,307
I can't wait to hit the highway.
81
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,514
I volunteered my car.
82
00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:16,684
Please, God,
tell me I didn't make a mistake.
83
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:23,524
Was that a yes or a no?
84
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:36,003
Cousin Larry, I have been
looking at the manuel.
85
00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:38,205
The manuel?
The driving manuel.
86
00:05:38,271 --> 00:05:41,675
The driving manuel. Well, you
can't study that too much.
87
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,344
I read every day for a week.
That's good.
88
00:05:44,412 --> 00:05:47,648
You said when I have read the
manual and memorized the rules,
89
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,484
you would give me my lesson
in front of the wheel.
90
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,919
That's behind the wheel.
And see?
91
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:56,657
That's what I'm talking about.
92
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,827
But you promised to teach me.
93
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:03,664
I know, I know.
94
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:06,834
At least until my car
depreciates another year.
95
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,038
Okay. A promise
is a promise.
96
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:13,073
All right, come on.
97
00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:16,444
Okay.
98
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:19,913
Now, let's pretend
that this is my car.
99
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,015
Oh, poh-poh.
100
00:06:23,584 --> 00:06:26,319
You don't trust me
in a real car?
101
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:27,988
I think we should
get some practice
102
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:30,323
before we get into
an actual moving
103
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,126
life-threatening motor vehicle.
104
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,563
Now, get in the car.
105
00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:44,705
Don't you ever,
ever do that again.
106
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,843
What?
You slammed the door.
107
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,918
Well, it's a little
hard to remember
108
00:06:57,985 --> 00:07:00,688
when you're driving
a coffee table.
109
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:03,691
Okay. Now.
110
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:04,958
You got your steering wheel
111
00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:07,761
your brake, gear shift,
accelerator.
112
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,598
Make sure it's in park
and start it up.
113
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,534
Cousin,
there's nothing here.
114
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,236
Don't you think it would
be easier in your car?
115
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,772
Easier for you,
not for me.
116
00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:22,309
All right, look, I'll build you
a little driving simulator.
117
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,045
This is your gear shift.
118
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,881
The frozen broccoli
is your accelerator.
119
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:32,586
And the grapefruit
is your brake.
120
00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,795
Did you give me the key?
121
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,839
What are you doing?
Sunglasses.
122
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:59,012
Buckle up.
Start the car.
123
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,551
Okay. Now, put your foot
on the brake.
124
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:06,453
On the brake,
the grapefruit. Good.
125
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,822
Now, put it in drive
126
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:12,693
and slowly, slowly,
give it a little broccoli.
127
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:16,930
And just pull out
into traffic.
128
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,431
Okay. Good.
129
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,601
Now, we're cruising
down the street.
130
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,536
A little broccoli,
a little broccoli.
131
00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:24,437
Okay, not so fast.
Not so fast.
132
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,739
There's a lot of traffic.
133
00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,241
This window
too much on you?
134
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,212
It's fine.
135
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:33,681
Now, what I'm gonna do is
136
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,717
throw a few emergency
situations your way, okay?
137
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,385
Is that all right? Good.
138
00:08:38,451 --> 00:08:40,520
Look out!
Ahhh!
139
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:44,124
Now, that's rule number one.
140
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,895
The driver
never ever covers his eyes.
141
00:08:49,429 --> 00:08:53,033
Why you did that?
142
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:58,005
I didn't see it.
143
00:08:58,071 --> 00:09:01,742
Well, I was busy avoiding
the runaway baby carriage.
144
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:08,481
What runaway baby carriage?
145
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,953
All right.
146
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,855
there's no point
in teaching you.
147
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:17,725
I'll do better.
Okay.
148
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:25,398
around the living room before
the accelerator defrosts.
149
00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:29,202
And if you don't hit anything,
we'll, uh...
150
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:35,008
Oh, thank you, Cousin Larry.
Don't worry, I'll be careful.
151
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:48,021
Okay.
152
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:51,158
Next time, buckle up.
It's the law.
153
00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,399
SUSAN:
Balki, what happened?
154
00:09:59,466 --> 00:10:02,369
I had an accident
in Cousin Larry's car.
155
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,404
Oh, no. Was anybody hurt?
156
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:07,040
Unfortunately, I lived.
157
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:12,913
...seven, eight, nine, 10.
Larry, what happened?
158
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,615
Not now, I'm counting
to a thousand.
159
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:16,984
What happened?
LARRY: What happened?
160
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,419
What happened?
He is what happened.
161
00:10:19,486 --> 00:10:21,354
We were practicing parking
at the supermarket
162
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,824
when all of a sudden this
runaway shopping cart
163
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,893
came hurtling across
the lot right at us.
164
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,229
A shopping cart?
A hurtling shopping cart.
165
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:32,332
I told you to hit the brake.
Yes, but you confused me.
166
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:35,335
You keep shouting, "Hit the
grapefruit! Hit the grapefruit!"
167
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:38,471
And I cannot remember is it
brake or gas, the grapefruit.
168
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:41,174
Couldn't remember?
It's the brake. It's the brake.
169
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:46,379
Grapefruit is the brake.
Who doesn't know that?
170
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:50,217
The point is the cart plowed
right into my front fender.
171
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:52,986
Oh, cousin, l know you
never can forgive me.
172
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:56,556
I was a fool to think that
ever I could have a license
173
00:10:56,623 --> 00:11:01,895
like a real American.
174
00:11:01,962 --> 00:11:03,997
Balki.
175
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:09,269
No. I am the lowest
form of life.
176
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,940
I am a car butcher.
177
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:18,245
According to Mypos custom,
I have to go far away
178
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:21,314
and cover my face
in shame.
179
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,284
Goodbye.
180
00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,191
I hate these old customs.
181
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:10,430
Balki. Balki.
182
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,399
Balki, I'm sorry.
183
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:16,269
It's just that it's my car
and it's your fault.
184
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:20,473
No, no, no. I mean,
I didn't mean to say that.
185
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:25,145
I-I overreacted. I owe you
an apology. I'm sorry.
186
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:29,382
I was more concerned
about my car than your feelings.
187
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,184
No, you were right.
188
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:35,455
I am a lowly immigrant
who dared to dream.
189
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:39,259
Don't talk like that.
190
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,228
I don't deserve
a driver's license.
191
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,464
I don't even deserve
a library card.
192
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,837
I would probably be arrested
for speed reading.
193
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,107
Things don't always come easy.
194
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:57,477
It wasn't easy for you
to pack up and come to America.
195
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,312
You found me.
You found a job.
196
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,149
You found a place to live.
That was tough.
197
00:13:02,215 --> 00:13:05,418
And you're not a quitter.
You know why?
198
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,521
I give up. Why?
199
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,399
* For amber waves of grain...
200
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:24,704
Because you were born with the
desire to make yourself better.
201
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,374
That's why you came to America.
202
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,478
Hanging in there is part of what
the American spirit is about.
203
00:13:31,544 --> 00:13:35,082
Yes.
204
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:40,453
* America
America *
205
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:43,256
When you fall off that horse,
you've to climb back
206
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:47,627
and show it who's boss.
207
00:13:47,694 --> 00:13:49,329
Never say die.
208
00:13:49,396 --> 00:13:53,366
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try again.
209
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:58,238
You mean, if I live in a glass
house, I must not throw stones.
210
00:13:58,305 --> 00:13:59,639
Yeah, uh...
211
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:02,509
You can fool some of
the sheep all of the time
212
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:07,080
but you can't fool some of
the sheep all of the time.
213
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:11,251
Yes, yes, yes.
Whatever works for you.
214
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:14,922
The point is I don't want you
to lose your confidence.
215
00:14:14,988 --> 00:14:16,456
I believe in you.
216
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,993
And to prove it, I want you
to go out there this afternoon
217
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:23,163
and use my car
to take that test.
218
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:26,533
Cousin Larry, you'll
let me use your car again?
219
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:29,302
Yes.
220
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:34,074
Cousin Larry,
Dimitri,
221
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:40,480
if you trust me
that much, I'll do it.
222
00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:41,949
Great.
223
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:45,218
I'll get back on that horse.
You bet ya.
224
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:48,721
I'll show it who's boss.
That's the spirit.
225
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:50,290
Cousin Larry?
What?
226
00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:54,094
Let go the key.
I'm trying. I'm really trying.
227
00:15:13,846 --> 00:15:15,983
Nervous?
228
00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:19,119
Of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.
229
00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,692
Backwards?
It's a figure of speech.
230
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,795
There's one question I have
to ask you about the manuel.
231
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,864
If four persons come to a
four-way stop at the same moment
232
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:35,535
and the man on my right has the
right of way, who goes first?
233
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:38,638
Because everybody
has somebody on his right.
234
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,543
That's why you buy insurance.
Thank you.
235
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:48,848
I'm very nervous.
236
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:50,583
Next.
237
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:54,487
Well, come on.
I don't have all day.
238
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,624
Hey, you lucked out.
You got a good one.
239
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:02,695
Okay, your first name
is spelled B-A-L-K--
240
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,231
K-I. K-I.
241
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:06,633
Balki Bartokomous.
242
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:10,270
Current address, 6--
627 Lincoln Boulevard.
243
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:15,842
Your place of birth?
244
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,445
Who's this, your ventriloquist?
245
00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:22,315
No, this my Cousin Larry.
246
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,253
You, see the eye chart?
247
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:30,390
Yes, I see it.
Boy, that was an easy test.
248
00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,027
Cover the left eye,
please.
249
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:37,130
Your left or my left?
250
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,632
Your left. My right.
251
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:47,407
Take your hand off my face.
252
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,777
Read the first line.
253
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:53,713
BALKI: "E."
254
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,449
Cover the other eye.
255
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,021
Uncover the left eye.
256
00:17:08,095 --> 00:17:10,597
What's the last line
you can read?
257
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:15,368
"Copyright 1963. Printed
in Hicksville, New York."
258
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,638
By somebody named
Pat Pending.
259
00:17:22,509 --> 00:17:24,444
Okay. I'll give that to you.
260
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,546
You see, Larry?
I passed the eye test.
261
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:29,449
See? All that
studying paid off.
262
00:17:29,516 --> 00:17:32,585
Here's your written test.
Over there.
263
00:17:38,125 --> 00:17:40,960
All right, now take your time.
264
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:45,998
Uh, excuse me. Cousin Larry,
you're getting on my nerves.
265
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:48,668
I'm sorry, it's just that
getting a driver's license
266
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:52,539
is very important to him.
267
00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:56,476
Yes, right. No problem. I know
you live with a lot of stress.
268
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,582
What's the matter?
269
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:07,487
Nothing. I have finished.
270
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:10,923
I think my friend here may
have made a hasty act here.
271
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:14,594
Cousin, relax. I may be nervous,
but I know my Gs and Us.
272
00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:17,664
That's Ps and Qs.
I didn't know that.
273
00:18:17,730 --> 00:18:19,432
Okay, one wrong.
274
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,335
One wrong? One wrong,
Balki, that's great.
275
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,637
I got one wrong?
Only one. That's fantastic.
276
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:28,175
I got one wrong?
It's okay. You passed.
277
00:18:28,241 --> 00:18:34,181
You must have made a mistake.
278
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,448
I demand a recount.
279
00:18:35,515 --> 00:18:38,485
No, Balki.
Balki, let it go.
280
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,826
I knew I was right.
281
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:49,529
I'm sorry. All out
of little gold stars.
282
00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:52,599
What about a little happy face?
283
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:59,206
Balki, you've gotta
be nice to these people.
284
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:01,140
If that man was your
driving examiner,
285
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,009
you'd be in
a lot of trouble.
286
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,844
Let's go.
287
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,282
On this part of the test, you're
only allowed three mistakes.
288
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:11,484
Where's your car?
In front.
289
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:14,821
In the red zone?
That's one.
290
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:32,372
I told you
all sales are final.
291
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:39,912
Listen, sister, look behind
your TV. Do you see me there?
292
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,450
There's your answer.
293
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:47,420
Those nuns are so pushy.
294
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:51,023
Is Balki here?
I can't find him.
295
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,493
He went for his driver's test
two hours ago
296
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,463
and never came back.
297
00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:00,166
You lost your car?
You lost the bet. Pay me.
298
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,101
He could be lying out
there injured.
299
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:03,736
How can you think of money?
300
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:07,474
Easy, I'm not a nice person.
Now, pay me.
301
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,743
Balki, you're alive.
302
00:20:10,810 --> 00:20:13,446
Yes, I think so.
I have to sit down.
303
00:20:13,513 --> 00:20:17,417
Get the man a chair.
What happened? I was worried.
304
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,552
I tried to call you
from the hospital,
305
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:21,254
but the phones were being used.
306
00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:23,323
The hospital?
You were in the hospital?
307
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:27,394
I didn't want to get on the
expressway, but I got confused.
308
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,762
You're not supposed to be
on the expressway.
309
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:33,966
I know, but I said to him,
"You want to take a left?"
310
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,603
And he said, "Right." So...
311
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,240
Frank and me were
on the expressway
312
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,775
in the middle of rush hour.
313
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,244
I don't know why
they call it rush hour
314
00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:47,246
because nothing moves.
315
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:48,915
Who is Frank?
316
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,319
That grumpy guy from
the driver's license store.
317
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,987
The one who had
a heart attack.
318
00:20:55,054 --> 00:20:56,923
Frank had a heart attack?
319
00:20:56,989 --> 00:21:00,793
Well, no. It turns out
what he had was a bad lunch.
320
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:05,698
A salami sandwich, French fries
and two chili dogs.
321
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:09,402
Nice guy, but he had
more gas than Exxon.
322
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:16,809
You're breaking
my heart, eh?
323
00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:19,211
You're really enjoying
this, aren't you?
324
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,514
Human suffering is my thing.
325
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:23,783
Suffer this.
326
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,288
You got it?
You got it?
327
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,860
You got it!
328
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,295
Frank was so happy
he wasn't dead
329
00:21:36,363 --> 00:21:38,765
that he gave me
my driver's license.
330
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,604
Excuse me a moment.
331
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,444
Hey, but we had fun, didn't we?
332
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,146
Uh, Mr. Twinkacetti.
333
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:56,849
All right, the money. Okay.
334
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:03,723
So my kid misses Christmas.
335
00:22:06,593 --> 00:22:09,128
Balki, you did it.
I'm proud of you.
336
00:22:09,195 --> 00:22:12,298
Thank you,
Cousin Larry.
337
00:22:12,365 --> 00:22:15,702
when I was ready
to throw up the towel.
338
00:22:15,768 --> 00:22:19,171
Beautifully put. But you're
the one who passed the test.
339
00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:21,574
Yes, but I was ready
to be a quitter
340
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:24,343
and give up my part
of the American dream.
341
00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:26,078
But you wouldn't let me.
342
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,614
Instead, you had faith in me
343
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,116
and you trusted me
with your car.
344
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:33,653
Well, trust is what
friendship is all about.
345
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:35,822
And you didn't even
worry about your car.
346
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:39,358
I never gave it a thought. Did
you put on the parking brake?
347
00:22:39,426 --> 00:22:42,762
Of course I did.
Don't be ridiculous.
348
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:51,771
Larry Appleton,
you are the best friend
349
00:22:51,838 --> 00:22:55,007
this Mediterranean
sheepherder ever had.
350
00:22:56,042 --> 00:22:57,444
Thanks.
351
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,779
What do you say
we go out and celebrate?
352
00:22:59,846 --> 00:23:02,749
It's on Twinkie.
Where are the car keys?
353
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:06,653
Oh, they're nice and safe.
I locked them in the car.
26146
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
