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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,707 --> 00:00:06,237 What does it take to save a child in Africa? 2 00:00:06,356 --> 00:00:08,606 To save them from the violence? 3 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:13,796 To save them from becoming a child soldier? 4 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:18,365 What if I told you that all it took 5 00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,068 was just one beard? 6 00:00:21,153 --> 00:00:23,332 For the price of one costume beard, 7 00:00:23,392 --> 00:00:26,406 you can save a child from becoming another statistic, 8 00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:28,542 another warlord's pawn. 9 00:00:29,161 --> 00:00:30,282 Be safe. 10 00:00:34,695 --> 00:00:36,583 That's right. 11 00:00:36,719 --> 00:00:38,265 Just one beard. 12 00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:41,782 And for a little more, you can get him a cane. 13 00:00:42,808 --> 00:00:45,342 (inspirational music) 14 00:00:45,427 --> 00:00:46,426 (music stops) 15 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:51,815 (door closes) 16 00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:53,100 We are here for the children! 17 00:00:53,235 --> 00:00:56,153 (suspenseful music) 18 00:00:56,272 --> 00:00:59,273 19 00:01:01,277 --> 00:01:04,278 (upbeat jazz music playing) 20 00:01:14,089 --> 00:01:15,289 These are all old people. 21 00:01:15,424 --> 00:01:17,291 We are wasting our time. 22 00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:19,793 Wait! 23 00:01:21,297 --> 00:01:24,181 (dramatic music) 24 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:28,054 25 00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:39,479 (whistles) 26 00:01:39,615 --> 00:01:41,031 (engine starts) 27 00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:43,450 Go, go! 28 00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:46,403 (inspirational music) 29 00:01:46,488 --> 00:01:50,290 30 00:01:50,376 --> 00:01:52,042 Call today. 31 00:01:52,161 --> 00:01:59,499 32 00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:03,887 (haunting Western music) 33 00:02:04,006 --> 00:02:07,273 34 00:02:22,611 --> 00:02:26,315 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 35 00:02:29,882 --> 00:02:33,466 There was one time I was in my choir at school. 36 00:02:33,552 --> 00:02:35,468 - Mm-hmm. - My chorus teacher goes, 37 00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:37,504 "All right, so now we're gonna-- for this next number, 38 00:02:37,589 --> 00:02:39,422 "we're gonna need somebody to play the tambourine." 39 00:02:39,508 --> 00:02:40,924 Oh, no. 40 00:02:41,009 --> 00:02:43,677 And, uh... it was very clear he gave it to me and was like 41 00:02:43,762 --> 00:02:46,346 you know, all right, Jordan, this black kid, 42 00:02:46,481 --> 00:02:48,265 he's gonna be fine with this tambourine. 43 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:49,683 I don't know, Keegan, man. I'm just not-- 44 00:02:49,768 --> 00:02:51,068 You could not get it in there. 45 00:02:51,175 --> 00:02:52,519 The white half of me 46 00:02:52,604 --> 00:02:55,071 was just rocking that tambourine. 47 00:02:55,190 --> 00:02:56,823 And you were on the two and the four. 48 00:02:56,909 --> 00:02:58,491 And, like, I think by the end of the class, 49 00:02:58,577 --> 00:03:00,660 I was ashamed I was half white. 50 00:03:00,746 --> 00:03:01,945 You just couldn't get it going, huh? 51 00:03:01,963 --> 00:03:02,837 I still am. 52 00:03:02,908 --> 00:03:04,245 You're still ashamed that you're half white? 53 00:03:04,299 --> 00:03:05,311 Yeah. 54 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:07,021 I hope your mom isn't watching this episode. 55 00:03:07,108 --> 00:03:08,023 No, she's fine. 56 00:03:08,064 --> 00:03:10,009 She's probably ashamed of it, too. 57 00:03:10,088 --> 00:03:11,371 (laughs) 58 00:03:13,592 --> 00:03:14,708 One, two... 59 00:03:14,793 --> 00:03:16,293 (scats) 60 00:03:16,378 --> 00:03:20,764 (all) There goes the girl who owns my heart 61 00:03:20,882 --> 00:03:25,385 I knew she was the one right from the start 62 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,604 - Ooh-wah - Our love is here to stay 63 00:03:27,723 --> 00:03:30,023 - Ooh-wah - Each and every day 64 00:03:30,108 --> 00:03:33,226 We know that we will never part 65 00:03:33,312 --> 00:03:36,613 (scats) 66 00:03:36,732 --> 00:03:38,231 Oh, wow. 67 00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:39,649 Great work, everybody. 68 00:03:39,735 --> 00:03:42,285 Troy, I love that little Motown outro thing. 69 00:03:42,404 --> 00:03:43,737 Super soulful. 70 00:03:43,822 --> 00:03:45,071 Cool. Thanks, Lyle. 71 00:03:45,157 --> 00:03:48,325 Yeah, it just, uh, came to me, so I went with it. 72 00:03:48,410 --> 00:03:50,210 Wow. That's crazy. 73 00:03:50,295 --> 00:03:52,462 Hey, is this where the a cappella group meets? 74 00:03:52,470 --> 00:03:53,700 - Oh, hey, Mark. - Hey, Lyle. 75 00:03:53,749 --> 00:03:54,622 What's going on, buddy? 76 00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:55,773 - Mark, get over here. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 77 00:03:55,794 --> 00:03:56,883 Guys, this is my buddy, Mark. 78 00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:58,501 He just transferred from Minnesota. 79 00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:00,670 I thought he could sit in on a few practices. 80 00:04:00,756 --> 00:04:01,972 I don't know, maybe join the group? 81 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:03,256 Maybe. (chuckles) 82 00:04:03,325 --> 00:04:04,210 All right, guys. 83 00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:05,809 Let's do "Always Been My Girl" again, from the top. 84 00:04:05,927 --> 00:04:07,811 - "Always Been My Girl," okay. - And... Mark? 85 00:04:07,929 --> 00:04:09,396 - Show us your stuff. - You got it, man. 86 00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:10,561 All right, guys. Ready? 87 00:04:10,609 --> 00:04:12,893 - One, two... - (scats) 88 00:04:13,268 --> 00:04:15,268 (all) There goes the girl 89 00:04:15,354 --> 00:04:17,904 Who owns my heart 90 00:04:17,990 --> 00:04:22,609 I knew she was the one right from the start 91 00:04:22,744 --> 00:04:24,911 - Ooh wah - Our love is here to stay 92 00:04:24,997 --> 00:04:27,197 - Ooh wah - Each and every day 93 00:04:27,282 --> 00:04:29,866 We know that we will never part 94 00:04:29,951 --> 00:04:32,702 (scats) 95 00:04:32,788 --> 00:04:37,290 Ooh-wee-ee-ooh 96 00:04:37,426 --> 00:04:38,958 (all laugh and clap) 97 00:04:39,094 --> 00:04:40,377 You got to be kidding me. 98 00:04:40,462 --> 00:04:42,295 Mark, that was out of this world. 99 00:04:42,431 --> 00:04:44,347 Oh, gosh, okay, well, hey, it just came to me, 100 00:04:44,466 --> 00:04:46,299 so I just went with it. 101 00:04:46,435 --> 00:04:48,101 Great. Well, keep going with it. 102 00:04:48,186 --> 00:04:50,637 Guys, have a safe weekend, all right? 103 00:04:50,772 --> 00:04:53,306 - See you on Monday. - Nice to meet you guys, man. 104 00:04:53,392 --> 00:04:55,025 - That was awesome. - Isn't he the best? 105 00:04:55,143 --> 00:04:56,192 Cool, guys. Great practice. 106 00:04:56,311 --> 00:04:57,394 - Troy, good effort. - All right. 107 00:04:57,479 --> 00:04:58,611 (Troy laughs) 108 00:04:58,697 --> 00:05:00,730 Yeah, check you later, guys. 109 00:05:00,816 --> 00:05:02,899 See you later, alligators. 110 00:05:05,537 --> 00:05:08,455 (ominous music) 111 00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:12,377 112 00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:19,402 The [bleep] you think you doing, [bleep]? 113 00:05:20,302 --> 00:05:23,303 I'm doing my thing, [bleep]. 114 00:05:23,388 --> 00:05:24,721 The [bleep] you doing? 115 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,639 See... 116 00:05:26,725 --> 00:05:30,477 this is my seven white boys, [bleep]. 117 00:05:30,562 --> 00:05:32,345 - (scoffs) - You need to back 118 00:05:32,481 --> 00:05:34,314 the [bleep] up. 119 00:05:34,399 --> 00:05:37,400 [bleep] that, [bleep]. 120 00:05:37,519 --> 00:05:39,319 I'm 'bouts to get mine. 121 00:05:39,404 --> 00:05:42,072 Do you have any idea how long it took 122 00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:45,775 for me to infiltrate this group, [bleep]? 123 00:05:47,245 --> 00:05:49,028 25 minutes. 124 00:05:50,665 --> 00:05:52,282 You think I'm gonna roll over 125 00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:54,784 for some falsetto-ass mother[bleep]? 126 00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:57,670 (scoffs) 127 00:05:57,756 --> 00:05:59,689 Well, you know what, [bleep]? 128 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:03,456 White boys is gonna do what white boys is gonna do. 129 00:06:04,463 --> 00:06:05,595 And if they want to run 130 00:06:05,714 --> 00:06:08,570 with a high-ass-singing falsetto [bleep], 131 00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:11,806 then that's on them. 132 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,080 Oh, that's on them, then? 133 00:06:13,121 --> 00:06:14,354 Oh, that's on them, then. 134 00:06:14,389 --> 00:06:15,805 Okay, so it's like that? 135 00:06:15,891 --> 00:06:17,524 Oh, it's so like that. 136 00:06:17,609 --> 00:06:18,808 Well, watch your back, [bleep]! 137 00:06:18,894 --> 00:06:20,872 - Okay. - Watch your back, [bleep]! 138 00:06:20,906 --> 00:06:23,123 'cause you [bleep] with my [bleep], 139 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:25,308 I'll [bleep] with your [bleep], [bleep]! 140 00:06:25,951 --> 00:06:27,434 (echoing) 141 00:06:28,858 --> 00:06:30,691 And improvise. 142 00:06:30,777 --> 00:06:32,897 Oh, it's so cold out, and it's going to be dark soon. 143 00:06:32,906 --> 00:06:34,372 Oh, my God. Yeah, we should build a fire. 144 00:06:34,454 --> 00:06:36,727 Right, yeah, um, like... 145 00:06:36,862 --> 00:06:38,478 Oh! Fire! Fire! 146 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,896 Freeze! 147 00:06:41,066 --> 00:06:42,703 Oh, no. It's a black cat. 148 00:06:43,569 --> 00:06:44,451 Hey, man. 149 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:47,154 Why the cat got to be black? 150 00:06:47,416 --> 00:06:49,716 (laughter) 151 00:06:49,716 --> 00:06:50,631 Freeze! 152 00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:53,726 (dramatic music) 153 00:06:53,812 --> 00:06:55,428 154 00:06:55,442 --> 00:06:58,309 Man, I guess I got to put my dick away. 155 00:06:58,517 --> 00:07:01,518 (laughter) 156 00:07:02,938 --> 00:07:05,822 (suspenseful music) 157 00:07:05,941 --> 00:07:09,496 158 00:07:31,794 --> 00:07:33,232 Like a legitimate date 159 00:07:33,351 --> 00:07:35,128 in the definition of a date in the dictionary, 160 00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:37,248 I feel like I've been on four dates in my whole life. 161 00:07:37,263 --> 00:07:40,823 The problem with dating is, like, if I start to date, 162 00:07:40,908 --> 00:07:44,410 I'm trying to do what I think you're supposed to do on a date. 163 00:07:44,529 --> 00:07:46,912 So it's like, we're about to see a movie, right? 164 00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,080 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 165 00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:50,142 And then, look, this is how you be a sexy date. 166 00:07:50,186 --> 00:07:51,534 You be like, "You know what?" 167 00:07:51,619 --> 00:07:52,868 - Screw it. - Screw this. 168 00:07:53,004 --> 00:07:54,724 "Let's go take a walk by the canal." 169 00:07:54,814 --> 00:07:56,252 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 170 00:07:56,308 --> 00:07:57,409 You almost there, you go, 171 00:07:57,454 --> 00:07:59,404 "You know what? Let's get out of here. 172 00:07:59,961 --> 00:08:01,377 "Let's go to my place." 173 00:08:01,401 --> 00:08:03,585 On the way to your place, do you throw another one in there? 174 00:08:03,610 --> 00:08:04,713 You know what? Screw this. 175 00:08:04,849 --> 00:08:06,265 Screw this. Let's go skip in the fountain. 176 00:08:06,384 --> 00:08:08,601 - Come on. Why not? - Pick up some chroners, or... 177 00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:09,893 And then after you get out of the fountain? 178 00:08:09,937 --> 00:08:11,561 You know what? Screw it. Let's hit the cinema. 179 00:08:11,604 --> 00:08:13,689 Let's go to a movie. And then you're soaking wet. 180 00:08:13,714 --> 00:08:15,204 Right. Yeah. And, of course, you know-- 181 00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:17,226 - Watching some god-awful film. - You see a bad film. 182 00:08:17,249 --> 00:08:18,997 Also the fact that it's air conditioned in there. 183 00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:20,563 - Yeah. - Give yourself a chill. 184 00:08:23,651 --> 00:08:26,152 (laughter) 185 00:08:26,237 --> 00:08:28,287 God, the moment I saw you last night in the club, 186 00:08:28,406 --> 00:08:29,989 totally had to ask you out. 187 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:31,574 Are you kidding me? Like, the moment? 188 00:08:31,659 --> 00:08:33,626 - Oh, yeah. - That's so sweet. 189 00:08:33,744 --> 00:08:35,877 And I was actually afraid that you were going to be, like, 190 00:08:35,987 --> 00:08:38,187 one of those high-maintenance chicks, you know? 191 00:08:38,883 --> 00:08:40,166 - What? - Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 192 00:08:40,251 --> 00:08:43,169 I don't know. Control freak or-- I don't even know. 193 00:08:43,254 --> 00:08:45,504 Oh, my God. That's so funny. 194 00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:46,555 Isn't it? 195 00:08:46,641 --> 00:08:48,439 Is it? Is it funny? Is it funny? 196 00:08:48,519 --> 00:08:51,927 No. I'm, like, I totally just like to be just easygoing. 197 00:08:52,013 --> 00:08:53,262 - Yeah, yeah. - Hi, I'm Wayne. 198 00:08:53,286 --> 00:08:54,873 - I'll be your waiter. - It's been five minutes 199 00:08:54,877 --> 00:08:57,433 and we're just now getting our menus? 200 00:08:58,678 --> 00:09:00,211 Oh, I'm sorry. 201 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:01,604 Don't be sorry. 202 00:09:01,739 --> 00:09:04,657 Be better. 203 00:09:04,775 --> 00:09:06,275 Right. Okay. I'll be better. 204 00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:07,526 At your job. 205 00:09:07,612 --> 00:09:09,445 (tense music) 206 00:09:09,530 --> 00:09:11,280 Thank you. 207 00:09:13,251 --> 00:09:15,618 So, yeah, my philosophy is pretty much like, 208 00:09:15,703 --> 00:09:16,952 keep it chill. 209 00:09:17,088 --> 00:09:18,454 Right, yeah, yeah. 210 00:09:18,539 --> 00:09:19,788 You know what I like about you? 211 00:09:19,924 --> 00:09:21,606 - No, what? - It's like you're not afraid 212 00:09:21,642 --> 00:09:24,293 to be, like, brainy and respectful. 213 00:09:24,378 --> 00:09:25,461 Right. Thanks. 214 00:09:25,546 --> 00:09:26,735 I really like your boobs. 215 00:09:26,776 --> 00:09:27,880 (chuckles) 216 00:09:27,965 --> 00:09:29,610 I think we really complement each other well. 217 00:09:29,634 --> 00:09:30,850 We just did it right there. 218 00:09:30,968 --> 00:09:33,435 And, uh, I pretty much go with the flow. 219 00:09:33,521 --> 00:09:34,386 Right, right. 220 00:09:34,472 --> 00:09:37,640 What the [bleep] is wrong with you? 221 00:09:37,725 --> 00:09:38,782 Excuse me? 222 00:09:38,877 --> 00:09:40,927 Do I look like Mad Max to you? 223 00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:42,311 I-I'm sorry? 224 00:09:42,446 --> 00:09:45,197 Do I look like Mel Gibson with a mullet? 225 00:09:45,316 --> 00:09:46,398 I... 226 00:09:46,484 --> 00:09:47,867 no, not at all. 227 00:09:47,985 --> 00:09:49,535 Does he look like a feral child 228 00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:51,203 with a boomerang in his hand? 229 00:09:51,322 --> 00:09:52,488 No. 230 00:09:52,623 --> 00:09:55,427 Then why the [bleep] is water a rare commodity here? 231 00:09:55,459 --> 00:09:56,992 It's-- It's not. I'm just, uh-- 232 00:09:57,078 --> 00:09:58,980 (fake laughing) 233 00:09:59,086 --> 00:10:00,579 I'm sorry. I'm just really slammed. 234 00:10:00,603 --> 00:10:01,964 No, you'll know when you're slammed 235 00:10:02,049 --> 00:10:03,411 because your nuts will be on the table 236 00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:05,334 and my fists will be covered in your blood. 237 00:10:05,469 --> 00:10:08,337 (dramatic music) 238 00:10:08,472 --> 00:10:10,923 239 00:10:13,010 --> 00:10:14,358 Um... 240 00:10:15,785 --> 00:10:17,118 You were, uh... 241 00:10:17,914 --> 00:10:20,065 like, kind of harsh to that guy. 242 00:10:20,184 --> 00:10:21,567 Oh, him? 243 00:10:21,686 --> 00:10:23,352 - Yeah. - No. 244 00:10:23,437 --> 00:10:25,460 I was a hostess at a restaurant. 245 00:10:25,490 --> 00:10:27,489 In the industry, that's how we talk to each other. 246 00:10:27,575 --> 00:10:29,244 I'll show you. Hey! 247 00:10:29,694 --> 00:10:31,379 Uh, hey. 248 00:10:32,096 --> 00:10:33,078 What do you see there? 249 00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:34,079 That's your water. 250 00:10:34,198 --> 00:10:35,915 No, no, no, no, no, no. Down. 251 00:10:36,033 --> 00:10:37,249 Down? 252 00:10:37,368 --> 00:10:39,515 Down, boy. Get on your knees. 253 00:10:39,554 --> 00:10:41,870 Okay, I have other tables that I have... 254 00:10:42,253 --> 00:10:44,123 What does that look like to you? 255 00:10:44,146 --> 00:10:45,859 Yes, there's a little lipstick on your glass. 256 00:10:45,876 --> 00:10:47,126 - Okay. - But it... 257 00:10:47,151 --> 00:10:48,377 Megan, it's your-- it's yours-- 258 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:49,698 This is what I want you to do. 259 00:10:49,796 --> 00:10:51,846 I want you to take this glass into the back. 260 00:10:51,882 --> 00:10:53,349 I want you to break it, 261 00:10:53,434 --> 00:10:56,101 take the biggest shard you can find, and bring it to me. 262 00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:57,803 I'm... 263 00:10:58,072 --> 00:10:59,995 Then I want to slit your gullet. 264 00:11:00,358 --> 00:11:02,435 All right, I'm just-- I'll get you another water-- 265 00:11:02,473 --> 00:11:05,811 I'm going to slit your throat and watch you bleed out, 266 00:11:05,896 --> 00:11:07,687 and I'm going to shower in your blood. 267 00:11:07,729 --> 00:11:09,898 All right, I'll... I'll get another water. 268 00:11:10,034 --> 00:11:12,484 Well, that would be great. Thank you. 269 00:11:12,570 --> 00:11:14,903 But as I was saying, like, 270 00:11:15,039 --> 00:11:17,278 I just feel like it's like do unto others. 271 00:11:17,371 --> 00:11:19,625 Megan! 272 00:11:19,744 --> 00:11:22,077 It was your lipstick on the glass. 273 00:11:22,213 --> 00:11:25,080 (dramatic music) 274 00:11:25,166 --> 00:11:26,956 What the hell is that? What are you doing? 275 00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:29,885 Wait. Wait, no, no, no, no. 276 00:11:29,971 --> 00:11:33,088 Oh, man. 277 00:11:33,224 --> 00:11:35,007 Let me just tell you, 278 00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:38,310 no one's ever talked to me like that in my life. 279 00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:40,145 I'm just saying that your lipstick-- 280 00:11:40,264 --> 00:11:42,931 You have his back? 281 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:44,183 Who does that? 282 00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,352 It was your lipstick on the glass. 283 00:11:46,437 --> 00:11:49,822 He's just a waiter. 284 00:11:49,940 --> 00:11:51,607 You know what? Take his side. 285 00:11:51,633 --> 00:11:52,932 - I'm not-- - And I hope you have 286 00:11:52,977 --> 00:11:55,694 a very happy life together. 287 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,363 Megan. 288 00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,281 What's going on right now? 289 00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:00,385 What are you...? 290 00:12:00,418 --> 00:12:03,285 (dramatic music) 291 00:12:03,421 --> 00:12:07,411 292 00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:09,625 - Seriously, Megan-- - No! 293 00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:10,793 No. 294 00:12:10,878 --> 00:12:12,845 Megan! You left your jacket! 295 00:12:12,963 --> 00:12:16,432 - Hey, you left your jacket! - Hey. Hey, hey. 296 00:12:16,517 --> 00:12:17,883 Don't do it. 297 00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:20,850 Man, I just hurt her feelings, and then she left her jacket. 298 00:12:20,850 --> 00:12:22,794 The least I could do is give her back her jacket. 299 00:12:22,818 --> 00:12:23,972 Don't do it. Don't do it. 300 00:12:24,018 --> 00:12:26,010 - She [bleep] needs this jacket. - She does not need it. 301 00:12:26,036 --> 00:12:27,856 It's 87 degrees out. You know she doesn't need it. 302 00:12:27,919 --> 00:12:30,562 In your heart of hearts you know she doesn't need that jacket. 303 00:12:30,648 --> 00:12:31,897 Don't do it. 304 00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,530 I think she's going to need her jacket. 305 00:12:35,530 --> 00:12:36,817 No, she's not going to need it. She's not gonna need it. 306 00:12:36,821 --> 00:12:38,704 Megan, you left your jacket, though! 307 00:12:38,823 --> 00:12:42,207 308 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,575 Seemed like a nice guy. 309 00:12:51,012 --> 00:12:52,527 If you were a villain, 310 00:12:53,245 --> 00:12:56,163 like, what would you do to make your villain memorable? 311 00:12:56,248 --> 00:12:58,498 I would be called The Puppeteer. 312 00:12:58,584 --> 00:13:00,579 - Of course you would. - I'd be a super villain. 313 00:13:00,703 --> 00:13:02,333 You could be my number-one henchman. 314 00:13:02,401 --> 00:13:04,705 Yeah, can I be the Crackin? Just like--I just want-- 315 00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:06,006 because then you could say, 316 00:13:06,091 --> 00:13:08,959 "Come on, y'all, release the Crackin." 317 00:13:08,986 --> 00:13:10,519 And then I would just be like... (makes squeaking noise) 318 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,096 And I just come out the side door with, like, a hood. 319 00:13:13,252 --> 00:13:15,966 - Release the Crackin, James. - No, I wouldn't do that. 320 00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:17,884 And James would be your-- your butler. 321 00:13:17,943 --> 00:13:19,260 - Nope. I don't... - And he'd be sitting down there 322 00:13:19,305 --> 00:13:20,220 next to you, saying-- 323 00:13:20,306 --> 00:13:21,391 James is not a good... 324 00:13:21,465 --> 00:13:23,357 Okay, Jeeves, you could call him. 325 00:13:23,442 --> 00:13:25,058 "Hey, Jeeves, go down to the cellar 326 00:13:25,194 --> 00:13:26,560 and release the Crackin." 327 00:13:26,695 --> 00:13:29,146 So I'm the mastermind, so I probably should... 328 00:13:29,231 --> 00:13:33,033 just, like, figure out what the words are and what-- 329 00:13:33,118 --> 00:13:36,203 "Well, I'll--I'll be. There's the Crackin." 330 00:13:36,288 --> 00:13:38,622 My supervillain doesn't need input. 331 00:13:41,910 --> 00:13:44,745 (East Indian music) 332 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:47,581 Okay, there is your hero fusion burger, sir. 333 00:13:47,666 --> 00:13:48,749 Thank you. 334 00:13:48,884 --> 00:13:51,335 And, sir, if you could just wait for one moment. 335 00:13:51,420 --> 00:13:53,453 We are very, very busy today. I'm so sorry. 336 00:13:53,555 --> 00:13:55,756 Another great day of business, Brother Ibrahim. 337 00:13:55,841 --> 00:13:57,090 Oh, my gosh. Are you kidding me? 338 00:13:57,226 --> 00:13:59,092 Look, we are raking in the money. 339 00:13:59,178 --> 00:14:00,510 Praise Allah. I know. 340 00:14:00,596 --> 00:14:02,429 I have just bought a flat screen television. 341 00:14:02,514 --> 00:14:04,398 - Really? - High definition. 342 00:14:04,483 --> 00:14:06,099 We should watch some of the American films on the screen. 343 00:14:06,235 --> 00:14:07,601 Come, come. I have the La-Z-Boy. 344 00:14:07,736 --> 00:14:10,103 - I have the La-Z-Boy sofa. - Oh, my God, we could-- 345 00:14:10,239 --> 00:14:12,656 Salam alaykum. 346 00:14:12,775 --> 00:14:15,776 Brother Ibrahim, Brother Osman. 347 00:14:15,911 --> 00:14:18,528 Wa-alaikum-salaam, Brother Mustafa. 348 00:14:18,614 --> 00:14:20,305 Wa-alaikum-salaam, Brother Mustafa. 349 00:14:20,406 --> 00:14:23,333 What are you doing here in United States? 350 00:14:23,452 --> 00:14:25,752 - A joyous surprise. - Yes, absolutely. 351 00:14:25,838 --> 00:14:28,338 I was just checking on your progress. 352 00:14:28,457 --> 00:14:29,790 Of course. 353 00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:34,044 This is a very good front for your sleeper cell. 354 00:14:34,129 --> 00:14:35,095 (chuckles) 355 00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:37,798 The Americans will never see it coming. 356 00:14:37,883 --> 00:14:40,384 They are totally fooled, Brother Mustafa. 357 00:14:40,469 --> 00:14:42,666 They think that we are just two immigrants 358 00:14:42,773 --> 00:14:45,806 who are in love with the amazing amounts of money 359 00:14:45,891 --> 00:14:47,808 that you can make being entrepreneurs. 360 00:14:47,893 --> 00:14:50,360 I mean, this food truck is, like, just printing money. 361 00:14:50,479 --> 00:14:52,729 It's a little crazy, to be honest with you. 362 00:14:52,815 --> 00:14:54,731 It's like a bottomless pit of money. 363 00:14:54,817 --> 00:14:56,233 You can just reach in, pull it out... 364 00:14:56,318 --> 00:14:59,202 Well, in reality, Brother Ibrahim. 365 00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:01,638 Yes, well, in reality, we-- we-- we want to destroy 366 00:15:01,757 --> 00:15:03,924 as many of the imperialist infidels as possible. 367 00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:06,760 Right. 368 00:15:08,364 --> 00:15:11,415 But what I don't understand is... 369 00:15:11,415 --> 00:15:13,395 you have your target, 370 00:15:13,395 --> 00:15:16,069 you have your explosives. 371 00:15:16,155 --> 00:15:19,940 Why not just put the bomb on the truck 372 00:15:20,025 --> 00:15:22,160 and then drive it straight into the building, 373 00:15:22,228 --> 00:15:25,529 killing as many infidels as you can? 374 00:15:25,614 --> 00:15:27,737 No. So, the thing... 375 00:15:28,950 --> 00:15:29,999 is... 376 00:15:30,029 --> 00:15:31,785 That we are already doing it. 377 00:15:31,870 --> 00:15:33,699 How is that possible? 378 00:15:34,957 --> 00:15:37,340 You see, Brother Mustafa, 379 00:15:37,459 --> 00:15:43,213 these sandwiches are loaded with cholesterol. 380 00:15:43,298 --> 00:15:46,716 Slowly, the infidels, they grow fat, 381 00:15:46,802 --> 00:15:48,435 and their arteries start to clog-- 382 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,187 Stop it! 383 00:15:50,305 --> 00:15:54,975 I'm beginning to doubt your dedication to the cause. 384 00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:56,393 - No, no, no, no. - Hey, guy? 385 00:15:56,478 --> 00:15:58,728 Can I just order a fusion burger? I'm in a hurry. 386 00:15:58,814 --> 00:16:01,134 Uh, yes... $9 please. 387 00:16:02,841 --> 00:16:06,626 Our leaders will be very displeased. 388 00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:09,102 Did you say $9 for one? 389 00:16:10,292 --> 00:16:11,541 Uh, yes. Yes. 390 00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:15,712 One dollar extra for crazy, rockin' hummus dip. 391 00:16:15,831 --> 00:16:17,464 How much do they cost to make? 392 00:16:17,549 --> 00:16:21,468 - $1.50. - $1.50. 393 00:16:21,553 --> 00:16:22,836 Pretty good margins. 394 00:16:22,971 --> 00:16:25,472 - Yes. - Yes, yes, yes. 395 00:16:25,557 --> 00:16:27,140 How many do you sell a day? 396 00:16:27,226 --> 00:16:29,392 I don't know, I don't know. Maybe 100? 397 00:16:29,511 --> 00:16:31,511 - 100? - Yes, sometimes two. 398 00:16:31,597 --> 00:16:33,346 On a good day, maybe two. 399 00:16:33,482 --> 00:16:35,815 What? 400 00:16:35,901 --> 00:16:37,517 So 200 is a big day. 401 00:16:38,711 --> 00:16:40,570 But you are ignoring your mission! 402 00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:41,771 (dramatic music) 403 00:16:41,857 --> 00:16:44,407 You will pay the ultimate price! 404 00:16:44,429 --> 00:16:46,346 No, no, no, no. No, Mustafa. 405 00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,103 We are still pure. 406 00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:51,248 (suspenseful music) 407 00:16:51,366 --> 00:16:57,370 408 00:16:59,708 --> 00:17:01,124 Okay, that sounds good. 409 00:17:01,210 --> 00:17:04,544 Your order will be right up. That'll be $9, please. 410 00:17:05,631 --> 00:17:07,005 All right, thank you. 411 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,652 My friends! 412 00:17:08,713 --> 00:17:11,267 You must try Mustafa-kebab! 413 00:17:11,386 --> 00:17:13,019 Only $5. 414 00:17:13,105 --> 00:17:16,690 And one rock and roll baba ghanoush, $1 extra. 415 00:17:16,775 --> 00:17:18,141 Come on. 416 00:17:18,227 --> 00:17:19,559 No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 417 00:17:19,645 --> 00:17:21,978 - Your hero fusion burger. - You... 418 00:17:26,034 --> 00:17:27,234 - No, okay. Sorry. - Sorry. 419 00:17:31,127 --> 00:17:32,944 I'll tell you, we still got it, Otis. 420 00:17:33,046 --> 00:17:34,746 Oh, yeah. Yes, we do. 421 00:17:34,831 --> 00:17:36,798 - True that, Walden. - Mm-hmm. 422 00:17:36,917 --> 00:17:38,249 - All right. - We here, ain't we? 423 00:17:38,335 --> 00:17:41,085 Oh, yeah. Hey, we hittin' it in business right now. 424 00:17:41,171 --> 00:17:44,756 (both croak loudly) 425 00:17:44,841 --> 00:17:47,058 (both sigh) 426 00:17:47,143 --> 00:17:49,894 We out here, straight hitting the bricks, as it were. 427 00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:51,364 Hey, hey, I'm gonna tell you right now, 428 00:17:51,398 --> 00:17:53,916 I got a pocket full of nickels, and I'm ready to get loose. 429 00:17:53,934 --> 00:17:55,099 All right! (laughs) 430 00:17:55,235 --> 00:17:56,411 Okay. 431 00:17:56,465 --> 00:17:58,433 Can I, uh... get another round, please? 432 00:17:58,532 --> 00:18:01,105 (hip-hop music playing) 433 00:18:01,241 --> 00:18:02,156 - Here we go. - Oh, yeah. 434 00:18:02,275 --> 00:18:04,609 (both mumbling) 435 00:18:04,744 --> 00:18:06,591 You guys like Drake? 436 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,196 - Drink? - A drink? 437 00:18:08,281 --> 00:18:09,664 We got--we got drinks. 438 00:18:09,682 --> 00:18:11,505 - All sorted out on the... - We got 'em, young buck. 439 00:18:11,529 --> 00:18:12,917 drink front there, Tiny Tim. 440 00:18:13,003 --> 00:18:14,085 Drake. 441 00:18:14,170 --> 00:18:16,037 Like Drake, the rapper. He's a musician. 442 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,892 Like, "Started from the bottom, now we here." 443 00:18:17,924 --> 00:18:18,840 Drake. 444 00:18:19,059 --> 00:18:20,625 Drink? You saying "drink." 445 00:18:20,659 --> 00:18:22,010 You know a musician called Drink? 446 00:18:22,128 --> 00:18:23,428 Okay, you know what? Never-- Never mind. 447 00:18:23,593 --> 00:18:25,430 Uh, you guys are awesome. 448 00:18:25,515 --> 00:18:27,348 449 00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:28,349 (both scoff) 450 00:18:28,468 --> 00:18:29,601 - Drink. - Awesome. 451 00:18:29,686 --> 00:18:31,052 He over here talking about Drake. 452 00:18:31,056 --> 00:18:32,791 - "You guys are awesome." - I don't know about no Drake. 453 00:18:32,806 --> 00:18:34,283 I don't know nothing about no Drake. 454 00:18:34,307 --> 00:18:35,690 I'll tell you another thing, 455 00:18:35,809 --> 00:18:37,223 I'm trying to watch my calorie intake. 456 00:18:37,277 --> 00:18:38,478 Ain't worried about no Drink. 457 00:18:38,521 --> 00:18:40,695 Concerned about digesting my steak. 458 00:18:40,814 --> 00:18:42,530 - Talk about Drake. - Talking about Drake. 459 00:18:42,569 --> 00:18:44,438 I'm having a hard enough time staying awake. 460 00:18:44,451 --> 00:18:46,941 I can't be concerning myself with Drake. You know. 461 00:18:46,987 --> 00:18:48,514 Poured orange juice on my corn flakes. 462 00:18:48,538 --> 00:18:49,787 Yeah. 463 00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:51,789 He talking about Drake. Trying to talk about Drake. 464 00:18:51,875 --> 00:18:55,326 I need five breaths to blow out my birthday cake. 465 00:18:55,412 --> 00:18:56,995 I ain't concerned about no Drake. 466 00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:58,212 - Drake. - You want to be 467 00:18:58,231 --> 00:19:00,294 concerned about Drake, that's on your time, brother. 468 00:19:00,333 --> 00:19:02,884 Shoot, man. Lost my teeth in a lake. 469 00:19:03,003 --> 00:19:04,836 I'm over here like a 1930s cartoon 470 00:19:04,971 --> 00:19:06,588 hitting my head when I step on a rake. 471 00:19:06,673 --> 00:19:07,589 (mimics slap) Whoo! 472 00:19:07,674 --> 00:19:09,173 (mimics birds flying) 473 00:19:09,309 --> 00:19:10,642 I don't know no Drake. 474 00:19:10,727 --> 00:19:13,344 Over here talking about Drake. You concerned about Drake. 475 00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:14,956 I'm gonna tell you what I'm concerned about. 476 00:19:15,015 --> 00:19:17,243 Making it to the john without making a bathroom mistake. 477 00:19:17,267 --> 00:19:18,516 My left eyeball is a fake. 478 00:19:18,602 --> 00:19:20,351 Sperm, my testicles do not make. 479 00:19:20,389 --> 00:19:21,815 I woke up this morning and my booty hole ache. 480 00:19:21,888 --> 00:19:23,771 - Drake. Drake. - Drake. Drake. 481 00:19:23,857 --> 00:19:25,275 I ain't give a [bleep] about no Drake. 482 00:19:25,312 --> 00:19:26,524 You know all about Drake. 483 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:28,359 (speaking gibberish) Drake. 484 00:19:28,445 --> 00:19:32,363 Drake. 485 00:19:32,449 --> 00:19:33,414 (scoffs) 486 00:19:33,533 --> 00:19:35,166 Oh, hey, now. Look at them. 487 00:19:35,251 --> 00:19:37,452 Look at these two old-timers over here. 488 00:19:37,537 --> 00:19:39,203 (both chuckling) 489 00:19:39,339 --> 00:19:41,289 Now, take it easy on them, Walden. 490 00:19:41,374 --> 00:19:42,874 (both laughing) 491 00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:43,925 I will, Otis. I will, brother. 492 00:19:44,044 --> 00:19:44,926 I will. 493 00:19:45,045 --> 00:19:46,260 (both chuckling) 494 00:19:46,379 --> 00:19:48,528 Hey! Hello, gentlemen. 495 00:19:49,215 --> 00:19:50,715 Y'all like Drake? 496 00:19:50,850 --> 00:19:52,050 Drake? 497 00:19:52,703 --> 00:19:53,718 Hell, yes. 498 00:19:53,853 --> 00:19:55,520 "Started from the bottom, 499 00:19:55,605 --> 00:19:57,522 "now the whole team [bleep] here." 500 00:19:57,607 --> 00:20:00,191 Y'all like Tyler, the Creator? 501 00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:02,443 502 00:20:04,948 --> 00:20:06,898 Do you know what it means when people say, 503 00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:10,201 "Man, I got my shirt all fleek right now?" 504 00:20:10,286 --> 00:20:11,235 Fleek? 505 00:20:11,371 --> 00:20:13,071 (scoffs) (laughs) 506 00:20:13,156 --> 00:20:14,337 You ain't heard about that? On fleek? 507 00:20:14,342 --> 00:20:15,208 That's not real. 508 00:20:15,208 --> 00:20:16,791 On fleek, man. 509 00:20:16,910 --> 00:20:18,076 What? 510 00:20:18,161 --> 00:20:20,745 It means just looking to upset fresh. 511 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,080 - I like that. - Mm-hmm. 512 00:20:22,215 --> 00:20:23,831 I like that. I'm going to start saying it. 513 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:25,133 I don't care how stupid I look. 514 00:20:25,135 --> 00:20:27,552 What about "jump in full dingle?" 515 00:20:27,637 --> 00:20:28,553 That's not real. 516 00:20:28,638 --> 00:20:29,921 That's a thing. Full dingle. 517 00:20:30,006 --> 00:20:32,724 Trust me, if we go-- if we go dance somewhere 518 00:20:32,809 --> 00:20:34,195 and you jump in talking about, 519 00:20:34,220 --> 00:20:36,094 "I'm gonna jump in this party full dingle," 520 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:38,220 and you just tell everybody, you will be the coolest person. 521 00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:40,148 Jordan, is that real? 522 00:20:40,486 --> 00:20:42,767 "On fleek" is real, though. "On fleek" is real. 523 00:20:42,852 --> 00:20:44,769 So dingle's not real? It's not real! 524 00:20:44,854 --> 00:20:46,020 (laughter) 525 00:20:46,106 --> 00:20:47,554 Full dingle is not real! 526 00:20:47,635 --> 00:20:49,635 It is now, though. 527 00:20:49,696 --> 00:20:50,799 (laughter) 528 00:20:50,799 --> 00:20:52,993 'cause that's a groundbreaking show up in this bitch. 529 00:20:53,054 --> 00:20:53,912 (laughs) 530 00:20:53,912 --> 00:20:56,015 I'm gonna do my one line here 531 00:20:56,015 --> 00:20:57,893 Oh, yeah! 532 00:20:57,943 --> 00:21:02,493 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37143