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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,153 --> 00:00:03,633 Gentlemen, it has been a pleasure 2 00:00:03,686 --> 00:00:06,621 and an honor to meet you and your-- your people. 3 00:00:06,689 --> 00:00:10,607 The U.S. Government supports you in every possible way. 4 00:00:10,642 --> 00:00:13,110 Ideologically, of course. 5 00:00:13,145 --> 00:00:16,279 However, we cannot offer any military aid at this time. 6 00:00:16,315 --> 00:00:18,148 With all due respect, Ambassador, 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:19,816 we need more than that. 8 00:00:19,902 --> 00:00:22,614 We are dealing with terrorism on a daily basis. 9 00:00:22,679 --> 00:00:24,488 Oh, that's so unfortunate. 10 00:00:24,573 --> 00:00:26,490 Warlords overrun villages. 11 00:00:26,575 --> 00:00:27,908 Yes, that's regrettable. 12 00:00:27,993 --> 00:00:31,828 Rapes, tortures, all manner of human atrocity. 13 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:34,164 That's really sad, but the U.S. Military 14 00:00:34,249 --> 00:00:35,832 is simply spread too thin. 15 00:00:35,918 --> 00:00:39,803 We can't afford another intervention at this time. 16 00:00:39,838 --> 00:00:42,639 But what we could use your help with really 17 00:00:42,674 --> 00:00:44,891 is protecting our vulnerable, plentiful, 18 00:00:44,977 --> 00:00:47,928 and newly-discovered oil reserves. 19 00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:51,231 Oil? Excuse me one second. 20 00:00:51,316 --> 00:00:53,650 Operation Golden Eagle is a go. 21 00:00:59,775 --> 00:01:01,608 Welcome to democracy. 22 00:01:07,699 --> 00:01:10,117 Uh, we also have natural gasses! 23 00:01:10,202 --> 00:01:12,869 Oh, yes, a lot. Lots of it. 24 00:01:12,921 --> 00:01:15,922 (haunting western music) 25 00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:18,282 26 00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:37,748 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 27 00:01:38,147 --> 00:01:39,896 (groaning loudly) 28 00:01:39,948 --> 00:01:42,699 How's your back doing? Your back okay? 29 00:01:42,734 --> 00:01:45,068 You need to get an adjustment from the chiropracticals? 30 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,705 Oh, can you do-- can you do chiro-- can you do chiropractor? 31 00:01:48,740 --> 00:01:52,742 Just get this. Get this. 32 00:01:52,795 --> 00:01:54,578 - Just relax it? - Yeah, relax it. 33 00:01:54,663 --> 00:01:56,913 Give it to me and let me do the work. 34 00:01:56,999 --> 00:01:59,049 It's nice to be able to just relax my arm, 35 00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:01,968 but I don't know that I feel the-- Whoa, whoa, 36 00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:03,503 - whoa, whoa, what? - What happened? What? 37 00:02:03,589 --> 00:02:05,005 I wasn't doing-- What, what? 38 00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:06,973 - You made me touch your dick. - No, I didn't. 39 00:02:07,059 --> 00:02:09,259 - It scuffed your crotch, man. - You didn't come in-- 40 00:02:09,344 --> 00:02:10,894 Your fingers did not touch my crotch. 41 00:02:10,929 --> 00:02:12,479 No, it touched something down there, man. 42 00:02:12,564 --> 00:02:14,598 You didn't get anywhere near my crotch. 43 00:02:14,683 --> 00:02:16,817 We have to agree it was a Ouija board situation. 44 00:02:16,902 --> 00:02:18,151 - It was a Ouija board situation. - It was-- No, 45 00:02:18,237 --> 00:02:20,937 No, it was a "Jordan board" situation. 46 00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:24,307 I wake up next to this guy, 47 00:02:24,376 --> 00:02:29,112 and as usual I don't even know his name. 48 00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:31,804 I'm trying to get dressed quickly and get out of there 49 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:33,618 before he wakes up, but... 50 00:02:34,849 --> 00:02:37,120 I can't find my underwear. 51 00:02:37,923 --> 00:02:41,260 I look everywhere, but I just can't find them, 52 00:02:42,794 --> 00:02:45,128 and then it hits me. 53 00:02:45,214 --> 00:02:48,837 I had left them at another guy's apartment earlier that night, 54 00:02:50,052 --> 00:02:52,692 and that's when I knew I had a problem. 55 00:02:58,277 --> 00:03:00,413 Thanks for sharing, Scotty. 56 00:03:01,363 --> 00:03:04,940 Well, I notice a lot of new faces this evening, 57 00:03:05,317 --> 00:03:07,284 and I'm so glad you all came, 58 00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:11,988 and I want you to know that this is a safe place to share. 59 00:03:12,074 --> 00:03:14,491 So if you want to tell us your story, 60 00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:16,121 there'll be no judgment. 61 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,030 Sure, I'll go. 62 00:03:21,884 --> 00:03:23,133 Hi, y'all. 63 00:03:23,168 --> 00:03:25,252 Name's Wendell, 64 00:03:25,337 --> 00:03:28,798 and I am in fact 65 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,904 a sexual addict. 66 00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:32,926 (all) Hi, Wendell. 67 00:03:33,011 --> 00:03:35,679 And what brings you here, Wendell? 68 00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:39,015 Well, you know, my life, 69 00:03:39,101 --> 00:03:42,769 sexually speaking, is crazy, 70 00:03:42,854 --> 00:03:44,571 and I just want to find 71 00:03:44,656 --> 00:03:48,515 one single solitary person 72 00:03:49,478 --> 00:03:51,194 to spend the rest of my life with. 73 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,364 Just one, just one. 74 00:03:54,416 --> 00:03:56,750 So do you feel like your addiction is 75 00:03:56,835 --> 00:03:58,418 too much to handle right now? 76 00:03:58,503 --> 00:03:59,920 Duh. 77 00:04:00,005 --> 00:04:03,206 I mean, it's been crazy, y'all. 78 00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:06,710 With me, the nastier the better. 79 00:04:06,795 --> 00:04:08,511 I'm a dirty dog. 80 00:04:08,547 --> 00:04:12,549 Try everything, all the fixings. 81 00:04:12,601 --> 00:04:16,186 Tantric, much like Sting. 82 00:04:16,221 --> 00:04:17,819 All the bells and whistles. 83 00:04:17,846 --> 00:04:20,588 You name it, I've donst it. 84 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,061 And when would you say you hit rock bottom, Wendell? 85 00:04:25,113 --> 00:04:27,280 When it got slippery outside my shower, 86 00:04:27,366 --> 00:04:29,482 on the floor outside my shower. 87 00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,785 Oh. 88 00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:36,957 I hit rock bottom sexually-- 89 00:04:37,042 --> 00:04:39,125 Oh, it was probably last night, last night. 90 00:04:39,211 --> 00:04:41,828 Do you think that you could tell us what happened, Wendell? 91 00:04:41,913 --> 00:04:44,247 Yeah, let's see. 92 00:04:44,299 --> 00:04:46,166 It was just like any other night. 93 00:04:46,251 --> 00:04:48,218 I had ordered a large pie, 94 00:04:48,253 --> 00:04:51,054 pepperoni, pineapple, cheesy crust, 95 00:04:51,089 --> 00:04:54,227 some cheesy bread on the side. 96 00:04:55,644 --> 00:04:59,211 Cut to 30 "min" later, 97 00:04:59,765 --> 00:05:05,435 Pizza Parlor sent over a delicious lady delivery person. 98 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,272 Body ten, face ten. 99 00:05:09,358 --> 00:05:11,941 That's my weakness. 100 00:05:11,994 --> 00:05:13,933 So I invited her inside, 101 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:17,739 opened up the box. It was hot. 102 00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:22,955 Devoured the first slice lickety-split, crust first. 103 00:05:23,372 --> 00:05:26,122 Second slice didn't stand a chance. 104 00:05:26,174 --> 00:05:27,874 Ate the tip of that bitch first, 105 00:05:27,959 --> 00:05:31,628 washed it down with a pop. 106 00:05:31,713 --> 00:05:33,763 Then I got nasty with the cheesy bread. 107 00:05:33,799 --> 00:05:37,634 My heart started pounding harder than usual, ker-slunk, 108 00:05:37,719 --> 00:05:39,302 ker-slunk. 109 00:05:39,388 --> 00:05:41,021 - Moved on to the third slice-- - What-- 110 00:05:41,106 --> 00:05:42,605 What-- What about the girl? 111 00:05:42,641 --> 00:05:44,140 What girl? Oh, the girl. 112 00:05:44,226 --> 00:05:47,277 Yeah, she was there too. 113 00:05:47,312 --> 00:05:52,816 I invited her into my boudoir, aka "the stabbin' cabin." 114 00:05:52,901 --> 00:05:54,891 We disrobed one another. 115 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:57,104 I touched her on her genitalia. 116 00:05:57,306 --> 00:06:01,166 She touched me on my man-italia, and that's when I hit it. 117 00:06:02,127 --> 00:06:05,161 Sexually, of course, 118 00:06:05,213 --> 00:06:08,164 Upstairs, downstairs, all around the town stairs, 119 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,166 as you do, 120 00:06:10,218 --> 00:06:15,055 and by then it was just another night, 121 00:06:15,140 --> 00:06:19,726 and I mean oil everywhere, and... 122 00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:22,345 sauce all over me. 123 00:06:23,443 --> 00:06:25,098 S-Sauce? 124 00:06:25,183 --> 00:06:28,985 Oh, yeah, that's my word for... 125 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,852 ejaculate. 126 00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:34,525 Anyhoo, I'm so distraught 127 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,405 because I feel vulnerable, 128 00:06:36,445 --> 00:06:37,861 and I don't know. 129 00:06:39,147 --> 00:06:41,388 I just feel like anyone 130 00:06:42,147 --> 00:06:44,000 could take advantage of me right now, 131 00:06:44,069 --> 00:06:47,871 a-ny-one. 132 00:06:47,923 --> 00:06:50,352 'kay, let's see what the blondes have to say first. 133 00:06:50,876 --> 00:06:52,292 Well, thank you, Wendell. 134 00:06:52,377 --> 00:06:55,512 Thank you for sharing. It's actually our time today. 135 00:07:02,337 --> 00:07:03,836 How about them unny-funny people? 136 00:07:03,922 --> 00:07:05,054 - (laughs) - We have the-- 137 00:07:05,095 --> 00:07:06,005 We talk about funny people all the-- 138 00:07:06,057 --> 00:07:07,340 Let's talk about some unfunny-- 139 00:07:07,392 --> 00:07:09,308 - We are blessed with the power of laughter. 140 00:07:09,451 --> 00:07:11,677 Remember San Francisco? This woman was, like-- 141 00:07:11,729 --> 00:07:12,845 She's wasted, and she's like, 142 00:07:12,931 --> 00:07:15,231 "Tell me a joke." some guy was like, 143 00:07:15,316 --> 00:07:18,584 "I don't got a joke for you, baby, that's not my thing." 144 00:07:18,653 --> 00:07:19,819 - Yeah. - I don't know, dude. 145 00:07:19,854 --> 00:07:21,187 What the [bleep] she do for a living? 146 00:07:21,239 --> 00:07:22,522 - "Are-- Are you an accountant?" - "You an accountant?" 147 00:07:22,607 --> 00:07:23,901 "Ring some numbers up for me." 148 00:07:23,954 --> 00:07:26,275 - Oh, [bleep]. 149 00:07:26,361 --> 00:07:29,852 You said that to that mythological woman... 150 00:07:30,698 --> 00:07:32,698 - With all the bravado. - But in real life, though, 151 00:07:32,750 --> 00:07:34,867 I'd be-- I'd be, like, "Um, um, 152 00:07:34,953 --> 00:07:37,787 chicken crossed the road." 153 00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:42,341 All right, man. Good to see you. 154 00:07:42,377 --> 00:07:44,210 Good to see you, okay. 155 00:07:44,262 --> 00:07:48,213 All right, everybody, just let's settle down and settle in 156 00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:51,384 and, like, totally let's get our math on, okay? 157 00:07:51,436 --> 00:07:54,971 All right, guys, so-- 158 00:07:55,056 --> 00:07:57,390 Yeah, oh! 159 00:07:57,442 --> 00:07:59,225 All right, Jimmy, 160 00:07:59,310 --> 00:08:02,979 someone's got a little extra energy from Phys Ed, right? 161 00:08:05,254 --> 00:08:07,533 Jimmy, buddy, hey, buddy, let's-- okay, let's-- 162 00:08:07,602 --> 00:08:10,786 let's knock it off, okay? Okay. 163 00:08:10,872 --> 00:08:12,071 He wanted me to knock it off... 164 00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:13,406 You got me. He got me, right, guys? 165 00:08:13,458 --> 00:08:15,074 So I knocked it off. 166 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,660 Jimmy, dude, all right, let's take our seat. 167 00:08:17,745 --> 00:08:20,880 Take our seat. Well, hey, hey. 168 00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:23,799 That's great. That's great. 169 00:08:23,885 --> 00:08:25,501 - That's great. - (robot noises) 170 00:08:25,587 --> 00:08:27,637 Very good. Bravo, Jimmy. 171 00:08:27,722 --> 00:08:31,841 - You guys can clap. - Yay! 172 00:08:31,926 --> 00:08:34,060 That was awesome. Oh, I thank you. 173 00:08:34,095 --> 00:08:35,595 I thank you for the entertainment, man. 174 00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:38,731 (gibbering) 175 00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:41,184 Jimmy-- Let's go, man. 176 00:08:41,269 --> 00:08:43,736 Hey, buddy-- I don't want to harsh your vibe, man, but-- 177 00:08:43,771 --> 00:08:45,855 Ah, eureka. 178 00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:47,106 I'm gonna be honest with you. 179 00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:49,309 You're really pushing my buttons now, Jimmy. 180 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:51,577 (beeping electronically) 181 00:08:51,613 --> 00:08:52,862 You're driving me crazy, man. 182 00:08:52,947 --> 00:08:54,664 (zooming) 183 00:08:54,749 --> 00:08:58,701 (imitating a car) 184 00:08:58,786 --> 00:08:59,952 That's enough. 185 00:09:00,038 --> 00:09:03,456 You want me to write your name on the board? 186 00:09:03,541 --> 00:09:06,125 (yells) 187 00:09:06,177 --> 00:09:07,760 Home alone, home alone, home alone. 188 00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:10,213 Okay, Jimmy, do you want me to call Principal Martel? 189 00:09:10,298 --> 00:09:11,297 (gasping) 190 00:09:11,382 --> 00:09:13,716 That wouldn't be bitchin', wouldn't it? 191 00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:16,018 - (chattering) - Okay. 192 00:09:16,104 --> 00:09:18,187 You know what, Jimmy? You know what? 193 00:09:18,273 --> 00:09:20,523 Why don't you come up and teach the class, man? 194 00:09:20,608 --> 00:09:21,557 Hmm? 195 00:09:21,643 --> 00:09:23,476 Wouldn't that be awesome? 196 00:09:23,561 --> 00:09:25,394 Moi? 197 00:09:30,735 --> 00:09:32,702 Okay, good. 198 00:09:32,787 --> 00:09:34,487 No, and then you know what I'm gonna do, Jimmy? 199 00:09:34,572 --> 00:09:36,656 I'll just sit here. How 'bout that, Jimmy, 200 00:09:36,708 --> 00:09:38,040 And we can all watch how you're being disruptive-- 201 00:09:38,126 --> 00:09:39,325 (speaks nonsense) 202 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:42,411 Oh, I see. That's supposed to be me. 203 00:09:42,497 --> 00:09:45,131 Right, all right, Jimmy, okay, I see. 204 00:09:45,166 --> 00:09:46,749 I get it's supposed to be me. 205 00:09:46,834 --> 00:09:49,252 It's time to be done, Jimmy. Don't you dare, Jimmy. 206 00:09:49,337 --> 00:09:51,137 What the-- (scissors snip) 207 00:09:56,844 --> 00:09:58,511 Oh, yeah? 208 00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:00,479 Oh, yeah? 209 00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:03,566 Oh, yeah? 210 00:10:03,651 --> 00:10:07,770 (unintelligible scream) 211 00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:11,357 Well, this is you, Jimmy! 212 00:10:11,409 --> 00:10:17,413 (screaming nonsense) 213 00:10:17,498 --> 00:10:21,167 I'm you, Jimmy! (screams nonsense) 214 00:10:21,202 --> 00:10:25,204 (growling and screaming) 215 00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:26,455 How 'bout that, Jimmy, huh? 216 00:10:26,541 --> 00:10:27,873 "Oh, I'm gonna slap five! 217 00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:30,343 "Give me five!" Give me-- Give me five! 218 00:10:30,378 --> 00:10:32,094 Huh, how 'bout that, huh? 219 00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:33,296 That's you, Jimmy! 220 00:10:33,381 --> 00:10:35,548 "I'm Jimmy. 221 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,551 "I'm Jimmy, and I need attention! 222 00:10:38,636 --> 00:10:42,054 "Yeah, I'm Jimmy! I'm Jimmy! 223 00:10:42,106 --> 00:10:43,889 "Oh, lookie here. I'm a baby boy. 224 00:10:43,941 --> 00:10:45,141 "That's the funniest thing 225 00:10:45,226 --> 00:10:48,227 "that ever happened in the whole world! 226 00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:50,980 "I'm Jimmy! I want attention! 227 00:10:51,065 --> 00:10:52,281 "Wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy, wiggy! 228 00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:53,316 "I'm Jimmy! I'm Jimmy!" 229 00:10:53,401 --> 00:10:55,117 (high-pitched gibberish) 230 00:10:55,203 --> 00:10:57,069 Mr. Friar! 231 00:10:57,121 --> 00:10:59,038 Principal Martel! No, what? 232 00:10:59,073 --> 00:11:01,207 No, no, no, no, no, it was Jimmy. 233 00:11:01,242 --> 00:11:02,908 It was Jimmy, Principal Martel. 234 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,377 No, Jimmy-- 235 00:11:04,412 --> 00:11:06,128 It was Jimmy! 236 00:11:06,214 --> 00:11:10,049 It was Jimmy! 237 00:11:15,223 --> 00:11:17,590 Whoo! (all cheering) 238 00:11:17,658 --> 00:11:21,260 Jimmy! 239 00:11:21,346 --> 00:11:26,065 (all) Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, 240 00:11:26,134 --> 00:11:31,437 Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, 241 00:11:31,522 --> 00:11:35,078 Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy, (cheering) 242 00:11:45,803 --> 00:11:47,469 Contextualize the whole thing. 243 00:11:47,554 --> 00:11:49,971 They're a step ahead of us every single time. 244 00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:51,857 - Oh, absolutely. - A step ahead every-- 245 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,533 Dicknanigans. 246 00:11:57,601 --> 00:12:00,636 (somber ambient music) 247 00:12:00,705 --> 00:12:04,475 248 00:12:27,364 --> 00:12:30,566 (honks car horn) (crash) 249 00:12:30,651 --> 00:12:32,735 No. 250 00:12:37,241 --> 00:12:40,292 (both) Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 251 00:12:40,377 --> 00:12:42,327 (whispering) Dicknanigans. 252 00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:44,830 It's amazing. 253 00:12:44,915 --> 00:12:48,417 (indistinct chatter) 254 00:13:13,694 --> 00:13:15,360 Worms! 255 00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:18,447 (somber ambient music) 256 00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:19,865 257 00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:22,084 Dicknanigans. 258 00:13:22,119 --> 00:13:23,919 It's a dialogue without dialogue. 259 00:13:23,954 --> 00:13:26,455 Absolutely. I feel like they're in my head. 260 00:13:31,212 --> 00:13:33,962 (Debussy's Clair de lune playing) 261 00:13:34,048 --> 00:13:37,049 (gentle piano music) 262 00:13:37,134 --> 00:13:41,105 263 00:14:08,215 --> 00:14:09,464 (imitating a metal spring) 264 00:14:12,169 --> 00:14:14,002 (gasping in appreciation) 265 00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:18,891 Dicknanigans. 266 00:14:18,976 --> 00:14:20,489 Wow. 267 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,763 (whimpering) Poop. 268 00:14:24,849 --> 00:14:27,266 Dicknanigans. 269 00:14:27,351 --> 00:14:28,567 Frisbees. 270 00:14:28,652 --> 00:14:30,352 Dicknanigans. 271 00:14:30,404 --> 00:14:32,521 So-- (guttural sounds) 272 00:14:32,606 --> 00:14:34,656 Dicknanigans. 273 00:14:34,692 --> 00:14:37,693 Solange. 274 00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,611 Dicknanigans! 275 00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,199 Oh. 276 00:14:57,848 --> 00:14:59,681 (audience cheering) 277 00:15:07,224 --> 00:15:10,058 Gentlemen, 278 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,659 "exploded nuts syndrome" is a condition 279 00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:16,016 indicated by the presence of exploded nuts, 280 00:15:16,052 --> 00:15:18,251 which yours are. 281 00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:22,237 By the way, I saw your show last night. 282 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,906 Amazing. 283 00:15:33,292 --> 00:15:37,261 What if we did a scene where we're standing there 284 00:15:37,296 --> 00:15:39,797 and our dicks are out. 285 00:15:39,882 --> 00:15:41,215 We don't blur it, nothing. 286 00:15:41,300 --> 00:15:47,054 Just--show open, our [bleep] next to each other. 287 00:15:47,139 --> 00:15:49,356 What is the story that the dicks are telling? 288 00:15:49,441 --> 00:15:50,774 Well, that's what we-- Okay, now we're talking. 289 00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:51,942 Now we're brainstorming. 290 00:15:51,977 --> 00:15:54,611 So I'm thinking it's that-- 291 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,929 - they're neighbors. - Okay. 292 00:15:56,015 --> 00:15:57,147 - Okay. - Yes. 293 00:15:57,182 --> 00:16:00,384 So they come out of their houses... 294 00:16:00,452 --> 00:16:01,701 - Okay, mm-hmm. - in the-- 295 00:16:01,737 --> 00:16:03,604 - in the beginning of the day... - Right, right. 296 00:16:03,989 --> 00:16:05,656 And, you know, my dick would be like 297 00:16:05,708 --> 00:16:07,741 "Hey, Johnson." You know, something like that. 298 00:16:07,827 --> 00:16:10,661 Right, and mine-- mine would be named-- "Hi, I'm Willy." 299 00:16:10,746 --> 00:16:12,713 Right, right-- so already we're gold. 300 00:16:12,798 --> 00:16:14,498 The jokes will write themselves, man. 301 00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:17,000 How many dick puns are there? 302 00:16:17,052 --> 00:16:19,002 A myriad amount of dick puns. 303 00:16:19,054 --> 00:16:20,685 Okay, "let's go out and play ball." 304 00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:22,256 - Okay, you know what I'm saying? - Okay, right, I got you. 305 00:16:22,341 --> 00:16:24,057 - I hear you. - "I'm gonna go in for a second 306 00:16:24,143 --> 00:16:28,145 "and eat my breakfast, some scrote-meal." 307 00:16:28,180 --> 00:16:30,013 God, "scrote-meal" alone is almost worth it. 308 00:16:30,099 --> 00:16:31,014 Absolutely. 309 00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:33,016 We open with "scrote-meal." 310 00:16:37,809 --> 00:16:39,898 What's wrong with you, boy? You keep your hands off my woman! 311 00:16:39,941 --> 00:16:42,558 - Your woman? I saw her first. - Don't you talk like that, dipshit. 312 00:16:42,594 --> 00:16:44,043 Don't you put your hands on her. 313 00:16:44,148 --> 00:16:44,821 That's my woman! 314 00:16:44,863 --> 00:16:46,033 (jazz music) (audience applause) And now... 315 00:16:46,074 --> 00:16:48,019 for the scat stylings of 316 00:16:48,071 --> 00:16:50,218 Rex "The Bone Daddy" Ronson 317 00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:53,116 and Teddy "12 Combs" Lewis. 318 00:17:02,252 --> 00:17:05,253 (both) Zoo do dweep bodo dwape, zoodo dweep 319 00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:11,226 Zodo ba datin wop wop wa wop wow 320 00:17:11,261 --> 00:17:15,096 Butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt, butt 321 00:17:15,182 --> 00:17:17,015 Hoppy geebo derpa day 322 00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,433 Your breath smells like a butt 323 00:17:18,518 --> 00:17:20,402 Your bop bop, booty bop 324 00:17:20,437 --> 00:17:24,207 Your whole mouth smells like an open ass 325 00:17:25,066 --> 00:17:27,471 Butt, poop, poo 326 00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:33,198 Way we vwee vway, fat, fat, wat dway 327 00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:35,951 Fatty used to chewby doo you're fat 328 00:17:36,003 --> 00:17:38,453 You're a fat, fat fat, fay, fay, ba boo fatty 329 00:17:38,538 --> 00:17:41,006 Fah boo bah, fe, fi, fo fum 330 00:17:41,091 --> 00:17:44,292 What do I smell but some fat next to me 331 00:17:44,344 --> 00:17:45,594 That's the man, fatty mm 332 00:17:45,629 --> 00:17:51,099 Potty foo fay fe, fo, fat 333 00:17:51,134 --> 00:17:54,135 Hiddle bit little bit dibbidy dobbidy doo la la da 334 00:17:54,187 --> 00:17:56,972 Teenily weenily hoddily hiddily littla bittla 335 00:17:57,024 --> 00:17:58,641 Baby penis 336 00:17:59,309 --> 00:18:02,944 337 00:18:02,980 --> 00:18:07,032 Feel free to suck it 338 00:18:07,117 --> 00:18:08,483 Suck it and suck it and suck it 339 00:18:08,568 --> 00:18:10,118 And suck it and suck it and suck it 340 00:18:10,153 --> 00:18:11,486 Feel free to suck it 341 00:18:11,538 --> 00:18:14,122 Feel free to suck it feel free to suck it 342 00:18:14,157 --> 00:18:15,824 Feel free to suck it you can suck it 343 00:18:15,909 --> 00:18:18,960 And put it in in your mouth 344 00:18:18,996 --> 00:18:22,330 Stop, mop 345 00:18:22,382 --> 00:18:24,833 Your face, your face, your face 346 00:18:24,885 --> 00:18:26,835 Looks like a ball sack 347 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:29,838 No wrinkle dinkle doos sticky doop 348 00:18:29,923 --> 00:18:32,928 Ba dee do, wrinkle dinkle dee dee ball sack 349 00:18:34,428 --> 00:18:37,395 (scatting) 350 00:18:37,481 --> 00:18:39,681 Tellenum, tellenum, ten oh, ten, you a taint, you a taint 351 00:18:39,733 --> 00:18:41,016 You're a taint you're a taint 352 00:18:41,101 --> 00:18:43,018 The space between the butt and balls 353 00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:47,056 Taint face, you tainty taint your face is a taint, taint 354 00:18:48,162 --> 00:18:50,001 Taint, taint 355 00:18:50,034 --> 00:18:51,409 Take it back 356 00:18:51,495 --> 00:18:53,361 - No, I won't - Take it back 357 00:18:53,447 --> 00:18:55,363 - I never will - Take it back 358 00:18:55,415 --> 00:18:57,165 - No, I won't, never will - Take it back, take it back 359 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,533 - Take it back - No, I won't 360 00:18:58,585 --> 00:18:59,868 (both) 'cause you're a son of a, son of a 361 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,504 Son of a, son of a bitch, bitch, bitch 362 00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:06,507 Son of a, son of a, son of a, son of a bitch, bitch, bitch 363 00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:10,762 (cheers and applause) 364 00:19:19,407 --> 00:19:22,284 You don't need to fight over me 365 00:19:22,832 --> 00:19:25,896 There's plenty of the va-ga- 366 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,865 (scatting) 367 00:19:28,913 --> 00:19:30,452 Gina 368 00:19:30,953 --> 00:19:34,060 Vagina 369 00:19:34,895 --> 00:19:38,433 There's plenty of, of, of 370 00:19:38,862 --> 00:19:40,862 You know what I'm talking about, right? 371 00:19:40,957 --> 00:19:42,957 (laughs) Y'all know what I'm talking about. 372 00:19:57,007 --> 00:20:00,172 Don't you-- Do you know what R&B is? 373 00:20:00,244 --> 00:20:02,143 Do you know some really good modern R&B? 374 00:20:02,186 --> 00:20:04,108 I've been listening to it longer than rock 'n' roll. 375 00:20:04,156 --> 00:20:05,310 That modern [bleep]. 376 00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,881 I'm not talking about old school R&B. 377 00:20:06,962 --> 00:20:09,766 I'm talking about that: Come on, let me get-- 378 00:20:10,401 --> 00:20:13,215 I'm gonna hit it from the back 379 00:20:13,261 --> 00:20:15,695 That's what they're talking about nowadays in R&B. 380 00:20:15,838 --> 00:20:17,139 That's what they're talking about? 381 00:20:17,139 --> 00:20:19,810 I'm not talking about like I want to court you 382 00:20:19,859 --> 00:20:21,261 I'm not talking about that stuff. 383 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:23,001 Ain't it stuff where I'm gettting right into the 384 00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:24,574 "Where I put this thing inside your body?" 385 00:20:24,574 --> 00:20:26,328 - Yes. - I don't listen 386 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:27,698 - to that kind of music. - It's-- It's-- 387 00:20:27,714 --> 00:20:31,212 R&B these days is like a literal description 388 00:20:31,278 --> 00:20:33,660 of sexual intercourse. It's like... 389 00:20:33,705 --> 00:20:37,443 My penis will go in your vagina 390 00:20:37,523 --> 00:20:40,856 No, it's not. No, it... Really? 391 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,000 Semen will come out 392 00:20:43,066 --> 00:20:44,013 Mmmm... 393 00:20:44,053 --> 00:20:47,041 I must say too we might have a baby 394 00:20:48,021 --> 00:20:49,395 (laughs) 395 00:20:49,934 --> 00:20:52,180 - Really? - That's how far it's come. 396 00:20:52,229 --> 00:20:54,229 I'm gonna do my one line here 397 00:20:54,327 --> 00:20:56,327 Oh, yeah! 398 00:20:56,459 --> 00:21:00,272 Sync & corrections by dwigt addic7ed.com 399 00:21:00,322 --> 00:21:04,872 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 28456

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