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1
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There's gotta be another
human being out there.
2
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:30,250
Somewhere.
3
00:00:39,751 --> 00:00:43,948
It's been 173 days
since the undoing.
4
00:00:47,072 --> 00:00:50,670
Today, I may be
the last man alive.
5
00:00:52,227 --> 00:00:55,150
However,
if there is another,
6
00:00:55,712 --> 00:00:57,458
I will find them.
7
00:00:58,377 --> 00:01:00,766
The loneliness
is more than I can...
8
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,082
Whoo-hoo!
9
00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:08,961
Yeah! Whee!
10
00:01:09,807 --> 00:01:11,352
Ha ha!
11
00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:14,649
Whoo-hoo. There you go.
12
00:01:14,854 --> 00:01:17,022
Ahh.
Let me get some of that.
13
00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:21,344
Mm. Mmm.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
14
00:01:22,855 --> 00:01:24,067
Oh, yeah!
15
00:01:24,150 --> 00:01:25,882
That's my jam right there!
16
00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:27,680
Whoo!
17
00:01:29,212 --> 00:01:30,397
Hazzah!
18
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,194
Wah, shakikah!
Wah, shaslikah!
19
00:01:33,459 --> 00:01:35,270
Ooh, y'all don't know
nothin' about that.
20
00:01:35,353 --> 00:01:37,542
Mm, mm.
Ptt-ptt-ptt-ptt.
21
00:01:37,626 --> 00:01:39,524
Oh, hey baby,
how you doing?
22
00:01:40,951 --> 00:01:42,140
Yeah!
23
00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:44,493
What,
all day, baby!
24
00:01:46,763 --> 00:01:47,813
Yeah!
25
00:01:52,111 --> 00:01:53,897
Whoa, hey!
Dude!
26
00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:56,298
Um, hey, I'll...
I'll come over there.
27
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:58,068
Dude! Hey!
28
00:01:58,549 --> 00:02:00,133
I'll come to you, man.
29
00:02:15,517 --> 00:02:18,610
There's got to be another
human being out there...
30
00:02:20,248 --> 00:02:21,893
somewhere.
31
00:02:37,396 --> 00:02:42,285
Sync & corrections by dwigt
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:02:42,353 --> 00:02:44,054
Resync BluRay by LeRalouf
33
00:02:51,035 --> 00:02:52,302
Thank you so much.
34
00:02:52,452 --> 00:02:54,626
- I am Keegan-Michael Key.
- I am Jordan Peele.
35
00:02:54,709 --> 00:02:56,349
We are Key and Peele.
Welcome to the show.
36
00:03:03,749 --> 00:03:04,927
So, uh...
37
00:03:05,184 --> 00:03:07,170
- I didn't really know my father.
- Mm-hmm, yes.
38
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:08,571
Didn't really know...
never really knew my father.
39
00:03:08,654 --> 00:03:09,839
I was raised by my mother,
single mom.
40
00:03:09,922 --> 00:03:11,908
- Single moms in the house!
- Single moms!
41
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,053
Single moms are not
in the house, because they're...
42
00:03:14,136 --> 00:03:16,256
They're at home with
their kids... raising their kids.
43
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:18,281
Thank you.
Thank you for playing anyway.
44
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:21,366
They seldom...
seldom get out of the house. Sorry...
45
00:03:21,463 --> 00:03:23,033
Well I had one of those dads
who was, like,
46
00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:24,500
apparently just
one of those dudes
47
00:03:24,596 --> 00:03:27,677
Had about 54 children in the
span of two years, you know?
48
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:29,486
- It was a Temptations thing.
- All across America?
49
00:03:29,569 --> 00:03:31,246
Papa was a rollin' stone.
Yes, he was.
50
00:03:31,329 --> 00:03:33,830
He must've just gone
on a bus tour and, like,
51
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:37,000
sticked his penis
out the window, just every...
52
00:03:37,083 --> 00:03:39,836
every city he was in.
"There you go.
53
00:03:39,919 --> 00:03:42,272
"There's one of me
for you guys.
54
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,701
"One of me for you guys.
55
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,341
"Syracuse.
56
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,711
- "Tampa."
- Bu... wow.
57
00:03:48,794 --> 00:03:51,037
That is a
hell of a lot of gas.
58
00:03:51,330 --> 00:03:54,230
But this, right here,
this is a hypothetical meeting.
59
00:03:54,313 --> 00:03:57,466
Like a hypothetical meeting
of Jordan and his father.
60
00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:15,086
Um, hi.
Are you Earl Peele?
61
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,452
Who the hell want to know?
62
00:04:19,358 --> 00:04:21,837
I think I'm your son,
Jordan Peele.
63
00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:24,122
Oh, okay, I see.
64
00:04:25,953 --> 00:04:27,620
Come on in here for a minute.
65
00:04:28,182 --> 00:04:30,212
- Close the door on the way in.
- All right.
66
00:04:34,189 --> 00:04:35,768
All right, man, go ahead
and sit down.
67
00:04:35,851 --> 00:04:37,374
I'm gonna explain something
to you.
68
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:38,444
Okay.
69
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:45,633
I ain't your dad.
70
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:47,946
All right,
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
71
00:04:48,029 --> 00:04:49,933
but that's
the situation, brother.
72
00:04:50,918 --> 00:04:53,278
Are you...
you see what's happening?
73
00:04:54,434 --> 00:04:56,145
- Huh?
- We're doing the same thing.
74
00:04:56,228 --> 00:04:59,482
I-I always do this. I always scratch
the back of my neck like this
75
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:01,698
whenever I'm in
an uncomfortable situation.
76
00:05:02,596 --> 00:05:05,710
Scratch my neck, man.
Everybody scratch their neck.
77
00:05:06,111 --> 00:05:09,298
I breathe in and out too, man.
Now everybody my kid?
78
00:05:09,381 --> 00:05:10,648
Okay, look at this.
79
00:05:10,910 --> 00:05:12,861
That's a picture of me when
I was a baby.
80
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:14,867
That's my father.
81
00:05:16,631 --> 00:05:17,718
That ain't me.
82
00:05:18,084 --> 00:05:20,335
Man, look, look, man,
look at that dude's afro.
83
00:05:20,418 --> 00:05:22,472
Look, I got this
going on, man.
84
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:25,058
My hair is gray,
he got black hair.
85
00:05:25,141 --> 00:05:28,653
I mean, he handsome as hell,
but I ain't nobody's daddy.
86
00:05:34,317 --> 00:05:35,334
I'm sorry.
87
00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:38,855
I've just been looking
for him everywhere.
88
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:40,701
Yeah, yeah.
I'm sure you have.
89
00:05:40,790 --> 00:05:43,248
It's just,
I got my own TV show now.
90
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:49,899
I don't know,
I just...
91
00:05:49,982 --> 00:05:53,681
I know that wherever he is,
he... he would be proud.
92
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:55,972
Y-you got your own TV show,
huh?
93
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,251
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
94
00:05:57,334 --> 00:05:59,802
Yeah,
I'm producing and acting.
95
00:05:59,898 --> 00:06:02,397
Mm, oh, you, oh,
you producing and acting!
96
00:06:02,495 --> 00:06:05,649
Right, okay, yeah, that...
oh, that... that's my boy.
97
00:06:06,743 --> 00:06:08,727
Yeah, look at that, man,
we doing the same thing.
98
00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:11,264
What is that?
Holy [bleep].
99
00:06:11,348 --> 00:06:13,783
That's genes right there, man.
'cause you can't do that
100
00:06:13,866 --> 00:06:15,664
unless you sharing mad genes
with somebody.
101
00:06:15,747 --> 00:06:17,258
It's got to be in your DNAs.
102
00:06:18,249 --> 00:06:19,823
- Oh!
- All right.
103
00:06:19,907 --> 00:06:21,842
- You my son.
- No.
104
00:06:21,925 --> 00:06:23,781
- My baby boy!
- Thanks for your time.
105
00:06:23,864 --> 00:06:24,933
You come back home, man.
106
00:06:25,016 --> 00:06:26,871
- I missed you so much, little man!
- Okay, hey, stop it.
107
00:06:26,954 --> 00:06:27,815
Stop... get off, get off!
108
00:06:27,898 --> 00:06:30,604
- Just get off... get off!
- Get off, wha... oh, hey.
109
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:31,923
Oh.
110
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:39,066
When I first came to your door,
you wouldn't even acknow...
111
00:07:02,621 --> 00:07:03,873
- Okay.
- Okay.
112
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,390
You know what?
When I first came in here...
113
00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:07,004
- I first came in here...
- Stop that!
114
00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:11,408
When I first came in here,
you wouldn't even acknowledge
115
00:07:11,491 --> 00:07:13,316
that I could possibly
be your son.
116
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:15,485
But now,
only after I tell you
117
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:17,605
that I have my own show
on Comedy Central...
118
00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:20,179
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Comedy Central?
119
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,075
Get the [bleep]
out of my house!
120
00:07:28,904 --> 00:07:30,033
So, uh,
121
00:07:30,656 --> 00:07:33,261
Keegan and I are...
we're fans of gay people.
122
00:07:33,344 --> 00:07:35,208
- We love gay people.
- Our gay brothers and sisters.
123
00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:36,302
Yep, where are
my gay people?
124
00:07:36,385 --> 00:07:37,729
- In the house.
- Oh, here's...
125
00:07:37,812 --> 00:07:39,286
You guys need
one of these too.
126
00:07:39,369 --> 00:07:40,867
- There he is, okay.
- You guys need one of the...
127
00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:42,042
Maybe that one?
128
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,649
You... you deserve one.
129
00:07:43,732 --> 00:07:46,457
You know, gay people say
you're born gay, you know, you...
130
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:47,791
- It's not a choice.
- Right.
131
00:07:47,874 --> 00:07:49,671
I believe that, but,
you know, some... you know,
132
00:07:49,754 --> 00:07:52,212
you're not born gaaay!
133
00:07:52,296 --> 00:07:54,148
- You're not born doing that.
- That's true.
134
00:07:54,231 --> 00:07:55,683
You're not born doing that.
135
00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:57,385
That's training.
136
00:07:57,468 --> 00:07:58,886
That's conditioning
and training.
137
00:07:58,969 --> 00:08:01,161
No one was giving birth
and [bleep] jazz hands came out.
138
00:08:01,244 --> 00:08:03,658
There was no...
139
00:08:04,530 --> 00:08:07,461
That doesn't happen.
You have to learn some things.
140
00:08:07,544 --> 00:08:09,407
Oh, man.
It doesn't.
141
00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:11,381
- Here, check that...
- Check this out.
142
00:08:16,308 --> 00:08:18,326
I'm going to be honest
with you, Samuel.
143
00:08:18,535 --> 00:08:20,540
Adoption can be
a long, difficult process.
144
00:08:20,624 --> 00:08:23,253
I'm sorry, we should
probably wait for my partner.
145
00:08:23,355 --> 00:08:24,623
- Okay.
- He should be here any second.
146
00:08:24,706 --> 00:08:26,696
We havin' a baby!
147
00:08:26,779 --> 00:08:28,910
We havin' a baby!
148
00:08:28,993 --> 00:08:32,334
We gonna raise it,
and feed it, and change it
149
00:08:32,418 --> 00:08:34,989
And dress it up
like a peapod
150
00:08:35,073 --> 00:08:36,412
Hello, Sammy.
151
00:08:36,863 --> 00:08:38,112
You must be LaShawn.
152
00:08:38,196 --> 00:08:40,113
Ooh!
You must be "LeCorrect."
153
00:08:41,411 --> 00:08:45,234
Okay, well, we were just discussing
your options for adoption.
154
00:08:45,317 --> 00:08:47,835
And how difficult it is
to actually be approved.
155
00:08:47,917 --> 00:08:49,569
Oh, well you can just put
us on the list
156
00:08:49,653 --> 00:08:51,945
with a gold star and a check
and a "A+"
157
00:08:52,028 --> 00:08:55,362
because we want this baby, like,
yester-doodle.
158
00:08:55,445 --> 00:08:57,244
Well, as I told your husband,
159
00:08:57,327 --> 00:08:59,222
it can be an extremely long
waiting period.
160
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:02,710
Right, right. And it's even hard
for straight couples to adopt, so...
161
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:06,126
Well, you tell them baby people
that we are going to be
162
00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:07,321
the best parents ever.
163
00:09:07,404 --> 00:09:09,390
Because we gonna be strict,
but also fun.
164
00:09:09,473 --> 00:09:11,625
Like, for instance,
everybody gonna have to clean up
165
00:09:11,708 --> 00:09:13,360
after Tuesday night
Dress-up Parade.
166
00:09:13,566 --> 00:09:15,506
I... do not know
what that is.
167
00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:16,397
I...
168
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:18,046
Oh, every day gonna have
a different theme.
169
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,451
- Is it?
- So, for instance,
170
00:09:19,535 --> 00:09:21,618
Monday, that's gonna be
"Under the Sea" day.
171
00:09:21,701 --> 00:09:23,654
Tuesday, that's gonna be
"Dress-up Parade."
172
00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:26,073
Wednesday gonna be based
on the Chinese calendar.
173
00:09:26,156 --> 00:09:28,709
Thursday gonna be
"Sing What Ya Doing" day.
174
00:09:28,792 --> 00:09:30,346
- Okay, and you know, actually...
- And then Friday...
175
00:09:30,429 --> 00:09:33,374
It might be very difficult when
you actually have kids, LaShawn.
176
00:09:33,457 --> 00:09:35,850
Kids? Do you want
to adopt more than one child?
177
00:09:35,933 --> 00:09:39,335
- Absolutely not!
- Absolutely-tutely!
178
00:09:39,419 --> 00:09:40,837
It can speed things up
179
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,134
if you're willing
to adopt siblings together.
180
00:09:43,506 --> 00:09:45,365
- Sammy, we can get a set.
- Why?
181
00:09:45,808 --> 00:09:48,927
- Sammy, we can get a set!
- We're not getting a set.
182
00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:50,490
Ooh!
(clicks tongue)
183
00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:52,600
We could dress them up
like companion objects.
184
00:09:52,683 --> 00:09:54,535
Like a bat and a ball,
or a kite in the wind.
185
00:09:54,618 --> 00:09:56,423
See?
LaShawn gets carried away, so...
186
00:09:56,506 --> 00:09:58,606
If you really want
to expedite the process,
187
00:09:58,689 --> 00:10:00,397
you could adopt
a special needs baby.
188
00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,476
- Miss, you are killing me here!
- Yes!
189
00:10:02,559 --> 00:10:05,322
Yes, that's what we want.
A special needs kid,
190
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:07,781
preferably one with white eyes
and can tell the future.
191
00:10:07,864 --> 00:10:09,761
Okay, so now we're getting
a special needs kid.
192
00:10:09,844 --> 00:10:11,351
Uh, LaShawn,
there's a lot of extra cost
193
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,859
When you get a disabled child,
194
00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:14,204
because that's what, actually,
"special needs" means.
195
00:10:14,287 --> 00:10:16,372
Come on. We ain't never gonna have
to worry about money again!
196
00:10:16,455 --> 00:10:17,513
How is that possible?
197
00:10:17,596 --> 00:10:18,825
'Cause we gonna start
a family band,
198
00:10:18,908 --> 00:10:20,261
Called
"LaShawn and the Sam-Sations."
199
00:10:20,344 --> 00:10:23,553
And, ooh! How many times
can you change a child's name?
200
00:10:23,715 --> 00:10:25,000
Because I have this system.
201
00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:26,901
And it's a little bit
of an out-there idea,
202
00:10:26,984 --> 00:10:29,539
but I think if you really
set up a system
203
00:10:29,623 --> 00:10:32,254
where if you do something good,
you get a better name.
204
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,151
So if your name is Allister
one day,
205
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,154
you do something good,
your name could be Popeye.
206
00:10:37,047 --> 00:10:38,261
And that's what
we here to say,
207
00:10:38,345 --> 00:10:41,165
Is that we are the New
Black Panther Party.
208
00:10:41,248 --> 00:10:43,623
What's the biggest problem
facing the movement?
209
00:10:44,117 --> 00:10:46,370
Well, you know,
we supposed to be in this era
210
00:10:46,453 --> 00:10:48,738
of so-called
"post-racial harmony",
211
00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,874
with all people in America.
212
00:10:50,957 --> 00:10:54,015
But us blacks are being murdered
all over the place,
213
00:10:54,098 --> 00:10:57,481
and we get the same treatment
time and time again.
214
00:10:57,564 --> 00:10:59,483
We're not even
second-class citizens.
215
00:10:59,566 --> 00:11:03,120
We third-class.
Stand up, black America,
216
00:11:03,203 --> 00:11:05,157
and declare to white America
217
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,025
that we aren't gonna take this
no more, okay?
218
00:11:08,108 --> 00:11:10,376
- Why come out now and say this?
- You know what?
219
00:11:10,460 --> 00:11:14,431
You had 400 years
to get it right, America.
220
00:11:14,514 --> 00:11:16,467
But you don't know how
to treat your people.
221
00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:19,236
All people.
It's time to stand up.
222
00:11:19,319 --> 00:11:23,175
It's time to take back.
It's time for us to fight back.
223
00:11:23,523 --> 00:11:25,723
And we don't take
your phony words anymore.
224
00:11:25,806 --> 00:11:28,766
We're not gonna do it.
We want concrete results.
225
00:11:29,196 --> 00:11:31,255
You know, you... you hear
what we're saying to you,
226
00:11:31,349 --> 00:11:33,517
"United Snakes of America"?
227
00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,453
What are you supposed to do when
the whole world is watching
228
00:11:36,536 --> 00:11:38,737
And no-one
is saying anything?
229
00:11:39,029 --> 00:11:41,425
We will not be silent.
230
00:11:41,508 --> 00:11:44,230
Okay, you, sir.
Anything you wanted to say?
231
00:11:45,445 --> 00:11:46,933
Oh, me?
No, I'm good.
232
00:11:57,924 --> 00:11:59,633
Oh, damn!
233
00:12:01,828 --> 00:12:03,638
Check that [bleep] out.
234
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:10,254
- What is that?
- Whoo!
235
00:12:10,337 --> 00:12:11,884
I didn't know
they made 'em like that.
236
00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:16,072
I don't even understand
what I'm seeing.
237
00:12:16,156 --> 00:12:18,495
Mm. Whoo-whoo!
238
00:12:19,179 --> 00:12:20,980
I would love to see
what's under there.
239
00:12:21,271 --> 00:12:24,486
I am really curious
about that.
240
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,036
Yeah, dog, yeah.
241
00:12:27,545 --> 00:12:31,574
- I mean, I have no idea.
- Well, you know, we, uh...
242
00:12:31,658 --> 00:12:34,798
We obviously have some idea,
you know?
243
00:12:36,263 --> 00:12:37,607
I don't.
244
00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:41,912
Well, you know, it's, uh...
you know, it's a coochie, baby.
245
00:12:42,903 --> 00:12:45,421
Yeah.
Or something.
246
00:12:46,171 --> 00:12:48,906
Uh, no, no, no, man.
247
00:12:48,990 --> 00:12:51,995
It's... It's definitely
her lady parts. (laughs)
248
00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:55,431
Or, maybe
it's just more skin.
249
00:12:56,449 --> 00:12:59,151
Nope.
It... it's a vagina.
250
00:12:59,315 --> 00:13:00,416
Yeah.
251
00:13:00,802 --> 00:13:04,261
Or, maybe it's
a little face under there.
252
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:06,575
Uh, no.
253
00:13:06,685 --> 00:13:09,926
No, it's... it's
definitely gonna be a vagina.
254
00:13:10,242 --> 00:13:11,397
Why?
255
00:13:11,849 --> 00:13:15,067
Be... because she's a girl,
and girls have vaginas, man.
256
00:13:15,626 --> 00:13:18,166
What is that?
257
00:13:18,552 --> 00:13:20,039
What is a vagina?
258
00:13:20,412 --> 00:13:22,647
It's a woman's
reproductive organ.
259
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:25,052
Wha... are you being serious
right now?
260
00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:33,905
Thank you.
That is all I require.
261
00:13:36,890 --> 00:13:38,424
Oh!
262
00:13:40,439 --> 00:13:43,344
There's aliens!
There's a alien down there.
263
00:13:48,823 --> 00:13:50,527
Something I've always enjoyed
in African American culture
264
00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:51,943
- is the barbershop.
- Oh, yeah.
265
00:13:52,027 --> 00:13:54,113
The barbershop is
a very big part of our culture.
266
00:13:54,197 --> 00:13:55,882
I haven't been to one
in quite some time.
267
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:57,117
But, um...
268
00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:58,718
- The black barbershop is...
- Mm-hmm.
269
00:13:58,801 --> 00:14:00,720
That's the social cent...
the core...
270
00:14:00,803 --> 00:14:03,506
Of a community, very often.
Certainly for the men.
271
00:14:03,589 --> 00:14:05,074
- Yeah.
- And what's so bad is that I wish
272
00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:07,427
just... I just wish other businesses
could get in on the fun.
273
00:14:07,510 --> 00:14:11,569
Yeah. So we sympathize with, uh,
businesses in the black community
274
00:14:11,652 --> 00:14:12,821
that aren't the barbershop.
275
00:14:12,904 --> 00:14:15,224
The barbershop is always
the most enviable business, so...
276
00:14:15,307 --> 00:14:17,276
- Yes. Here we go.
- Yes, we take you here.
277
00:14:24,894 --> 00:14:26,179
- Hey, Uncle Ted.
- Ah!
278
00:14:26,262 --> 00:14:27,681
Oh, geez.
Whoo!
279
00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:30,250
- Sorry, Uncle Ted, man.
- Oh, Keith.
280
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,651
- I got you, didn't I?
- Yeah, you got me, man.
281
00:14:32,734 --> 00:14:34,487
- You got me pretty good.
- Oh.
282
00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:35,822
So what's going on today?
283
00:14:35,905 --> 00:14:38,549
Oh, just the usual,
young buck.
284
00:14:38,633 --> 00:14:40,949
Just another day
at the laundromat.
285
00:14:41,032 --> 00:14:42,932
- Yeah.
- Why, people come in,
286
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,379
they do their laundry,
287
00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:48,032
we chat it up about
some of the topics of the day.
288
00:14:48,997 --> 00:14:52,694
That's just another day
hanging at the 'mat.
289
00:14:57,126 --> 00:14:59,412
I wonder what's going on
in the barbershop today?
290
00:14:59,635 --> 00:15:01,980
Sure looks like
they're having fun over there.
291
00:15:05,351 --> 00:15:07,225
Forget all that, kid.
292
00:15:07,687 --> 00:15:09,929
Come on, we got
our own assortment
293
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:12,691
of colorful characters
right here in the 'mat!
294
00:15:13,058 --> 00:15:13,910
Come on.
295
00:15:13,993 --> 00:15:16,579
Hey, there.
You need any more quarters?
296
00:15:16,662 --> 00:15:17,683
Nope.
297
00:15:20,339 --> 00:15:23,520
Okay.
Okay, hilarious.
298
00:15:23,603 --> 00:15:26,402
Oh! Hey there,
Ms. Demetrius.
299
00:15:26,486 --> 00:15:28,050
You need some more quarters?
300
00:15:29,609 --> 00:15:31,828
Oh-ho, she didn't hear me.
301
00:15:31,911 --> 00:15:33,644
That's part of the problem,
Uncle Ted.
302
00:15:34,247 --> 00:15:37,033
You know, all that noise up in
here from the machines running,
303
00:15:37,116 --> 00:15:38,597
and it's kind of hot.
304
00:15:39,512 --> 00:15:43,035
Loud and hot?
Sound like my old lady.
305
00:15:52,098 --> 00:15:53,783
Billy Dee Williams
is in there now.
306
00:15:53,866 --> 00:15:55,518
He's Lando Calrissian.
307
00:15:55,601 --> 00:15:57,020
He runs Cloud City.
308
00:15:57,103 --> 00:15:58,888
Oh!
309
00:15:58,971 --> 00:16:01,394
- Yeah, baby!
- All right!
310
00:16:02,644 --> 00:16:06,395
But, uh, damn it, Keith!
What I tell ya?
311
00:16:06,479 --> 00:16:09,777
We got it going on right here
at the 'mat, baby!
312
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,753
Uncle Ted,
I gotta tell you something.
313
00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:18,193
I got my own
washer and dryer months ago.
314
00:16:19,029 --> 00:16:20,480
I just keep hanging out here
315
00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,173
'cause I didn't want you
to feel bad.
316
00:16:23,571 --> 00:16:25,756
Oh, you didn't want me
to feel bad.
317
00:16:26,832 --> 00:16:29,328
Got your own washer and dryer.
All right.
318
00:16:30,236 --> 00:16:33,894
Oh, you're big-timing me now.
Okay, I see how it is.
319
00:16:33,978 --> 00:16:35,992
Hey, well,
your shirt ain't clean,
320
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,571
Your pants ain't clean.
321
00:16:39,245 --> 00:16:42,672
You can't get a good wash on one
of them home washer-and-dryers.
322
00:16:42,755 --> 00:16:45,407
Uncle Ted.
I'm... I'm going.
323
00:16:46,118 --> 00:16:48,110
Uh, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
324
00:16:48,194 --> 00:16:50,405
Let's have some fun.
Let's have some fun!
325
00:16:50,489 --> 00:16:52,630
We... you can get in
one of the laundry carts
326
00:16:52,713 --> 00:16:54,043
and I can push you around!
327
00:16:54,126 --> 00:16:56,904
Nope.
I'm out of here.
328
00:16:58,397 --> 00:17:00,923
No I... Wait...
wait, wait, wait.
329
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,110
Hold on there, Keith.
Keith!
330
00:17:04,804 --> 00:17:07,772
And if that don't work,
then you do a little tap dance.
331
00:17:07,856 --> 00:17:10,547
And then you go,
I'm your man.
332
00:17:10,631 --> 00:17:12,233
I'm your man!
333
00:17:14,069 --> 00:17:15,162
All right.
334
00:17:15,245 --> 00:17:17,000
Welcome to the barbershop,
young man.
335
00:17:17,083 --> 00:17:19,758
- You're Billy Dee Williams.
- Yeah, yeah, how you doing?
336
00:17:19,841 --> 00:17:21,109
I'm good,
thank you so much, man.
337
00:17:21,192 --> 00:17:22,210
All right,
could you do me a favor?
338
00:17:22,293 --> 00:17:23,821
- Yeah.
- Could you let go of my hand?
339
00:17:25,858 --> 00:17:29,811
Okay.
Oh, thanks, man.
340
00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:31,899
Oh, how you doing, man?
341
00:17:44,857 --> 00:17:46,538
I have a friend... I have
a friend that, literally,
342
00:17:46,622 --> 00:17:48,271
like, he'll go into a room
and it's like...
343
00:17:48,354 --> 00:17:49,846
He... he's getting ready
for an hour.
344
00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:51,730
And he comes out,
he's got on a white t-shirt,
345
00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:53,665
jeans, and a hat.
346
00:17:54,368 --> 00:17:56,173
What the [bleep] were you doing
for an hour?
347
00:17:56,256 --> 00:17:57,507
Oh, yeah?
348
00:17:58,072 --> 00:17:59,409
- It's... you know what I mean?
- Yeah.
349
00:17:59,492 --> 00:18:01,178
It takes me, like,
15 minutes to get a suit on.
350
00:18:01,261 --> 00:18:02,884
- That's right.
- He's just in there going...
351
00:18:02,967 --> 00:18:05,844
Some dudes... some brothers are vain.
Some brothers are vain.
352
00:18:05,927 --> 00:18:08,185
They're all, "Oh, [bleep], man,
some dust got on my shoes.
353
00:18:08,268 --> 00:18:10,353
"There are ruined!
Oh, these are ruined.
354
00:18:10,436 --> 00:18:12,814
"Gotta go get some more sneakers
right now."
355
00:18:13,908 --> 00:18:14,758
- So, yeah.
- But that's what
356
00:18:14,841 --> 00:18:15,892
the scene is about... style.
357
00:18:15,975 --> 00:18:17,406
- It's about style, yeah.
- Yeah.
358
00:18:19,518 --> 00:18:21,114
In what universe
is The Family Circus
359
00:18:21,197 --> 00:18:23,339
better than Dilbert?
For instance... Oh.
360
00:18:23,422 --> 00:18:25,184
Yo, what's up, man?
How you...
361
00:18:25,919 --> 00:18:28,405
- been?
- Oh, you know, cuz.
362
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,413
Keepin' it straight.
363
00:18:43,817 --> 00:18:46,336
- You know.
- All right, cool.
364
00:18:46,420 --> 00:18:48,955
Well, I guess
I'll check you later.
365
00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:50,498
All right, dog.
366
00:18:58,753 --> 00:19:00,587
What you should have seen
was Rain People,
367
00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:03,033
with James Caan
and Shirley Knight.
368
00:19:03,117 --> 00:19:03,875
Yo.
369
00:19:06,993 --> 00:19:08,453
Uh, what's up, man?
370
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,547
You got something to say?
371
00:19:15,952 --> 00:19:17,358
Yeah, man, um...
372
00:19:20,438 --> 00:19:21,424
How's Denise?
373
00:19:21,507 --> 00:19:24,304
Oh, yeah, Denise.
She good, she good, she good.
374
00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:28,064
Anyway, guess I'll catch you
on the flip.
375
00:19:28,147 --> 00:19:30,000
Yeah, dog, yeah.
Ain't no thing.
376
00:19:30,083 --> 00:19:31,333
Come on, stick it.
377
00:19:31,416 --> 00:19:32,527
- I'm in there, dog.
- Come on.
378
00:19:32,610 --> 00:19:33,904
No, I'm in there, dog.
I'm in there.
379
00:19:33,987 --> 00:19:35,377
- Tuck it.
- I'm in there.
380
00:19:35,461 --> 00:19:36,905
- Tuck it.
- I'm tuckin' it in, brother.
381
00:19:36,995 --> 00:19:39,352
I'm in there, dog.
I'm in there, dog. I'm in there, dog.
382
00:19:40,026 --> 00:19:41,438
You know.
All right.
383
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:08,530
Oh.
384
00:20:10,223 --> 00:20:12,309
Huh, anyway, you know,
you gotta come real,
385
00:20:12,392 --> 00:20:14,842
come correct, when you coming
at all, you know?
386
00:20:16,025 --> 00:20:17,514
That's basically how I roll.
387
00:20:17,597 --> 00:20:20,006
If you ain't got...
388
00:20:22,602 --> 00:20:25,761
Oh, my God.
That's my [bleep].
389
00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:31,127
Come here.
Get this.
390
00:20:31,210 --> 00:20:32,696
- He's having problems.
- He's having problems.
391
00:20:32,779 --> 00:20:34,698
- He is having problems.
- We gotta get this brother...
392
00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:35,999
- This brother is weeping.
- He's weeping.
393
00:20:36,082 --> 00:20:37,233
- Are you okay?
- He's weeping.
394
00:20:37,316 --> 00:20:39,836
This mother[bleep] is...
395
00:20:41,888 --> 00:20:43,617
Come back to us!
396
00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:47,098
My man is...
My man is crying.
397
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,668
- Oh.
- Oh, my...
398
00:20:48,751 --> 00:20:50,208
Thank you guys so much
for everything.
399
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,642
Thanks for coming out,
everybody!
400
00:20:58,376 --> 00:21:01,145
I'm gonna do
my one line here
401
00:21:01,434 --> 00:21:03,290
Oh, yeah.
402
00:21:03,374 --> 00:21:05,350
Sync & corrections by dwigt
Resync BluRay by LeRalouf www.addicted.com
403
00:21:05,434 --> 00:21:08,004
Matthew McConaughey from
Days and Confused is here.
404
00:21:08,088 --> 00:21:09,808
Right here. He's sitting right there.
405
00:21:10,473 --> 00:21:11,886
Keep rockin' that look!
406
00:21:11,965 --> 00:21:13,808
That guy's on acid right now.
407
00:21:15,570 --> 00:21:18,546
"I once saw that show there were
two crows on stage."
408
00:21:18,596 --> 00:21:23,146
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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