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1
00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:07,940
Okay, this is it.
Any questions?
2
00:00:12,670 --> 00:00:14,497
Everybody knows
what they're doing, right?
3
00:00:15,355 --> 00:00:17,495
'Cause we got one shot
at this.
4
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:21,700
There's no dumb questions,
you guys.
5
00:00:23,870 --> 00:00:25,817
Did you have a question?
No?
6
00:00:26,173 --> 00:00:29,683
So all you guys know
exactly what your job is.
7
00:00:30,916 --> 00:00:33,246
Okay, so, on my count.
8
00:00:33,816 --> 00:00:36,990
Three, two, one.
9
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,637
Go, go, go, go!
10
00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,146
Whoa!
11
00:00:48,773 --> 00:00:49,883
Yah!
12
00:00:50,439 --> 00:00:51,509
Unbelievable.
13
00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:09,438
Sync & corrections by dwigt
www.addic7ed.com
14
00:01:09,516 --> 00:01:11,217
Resync BluRay by LeRalouf
15
00:01:14,602 --> 00:01:17,414
Whoo! Hello!
16
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,680
Hello
17
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:26,496
Thanks for coming out.
I'm Keegan-Michael Key.
18
00:01:26,580 --> 00:01:28,237
- I'm Jordan Peele.
- And we are Key and Peele.
19
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:29,906
Welcome.
20
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,690
Thank you so much.
21
00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:35,307
So...
22
00:01:35,390 --> 00:01:37,507
- Sometimes I get the giggles.
- You get the giggles?
23
00:01:37,590 --> 00:01:38,847
I get the giggles
when we're doing this.
24
00:01:38,930 --> 00:01:40,547
Brother, you were
born with the giggles, man.
25
00:01:40,630 --> 00:01:41,627
I came out of the womb...
26
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,210
giggling.
27
00:01:43,630 --> 00:01:45,840
- Giggling.
- It's hilarious in there!
28
00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:49,297
The best laughter
and the hardest to not laugh
29
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,527
is when you're
not supposed to laugh.
30
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:51,847
Right, exactly.
That's like...
31
00:01:51,930 --> 00:01:54,257
And you guys be just laughing
just in church for no reason.
32
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:55,740
Church is a deathtrap.
33
00:01:57,123 --> 00:01:59,286
Or the worst is when
you're getting the giggles...
34
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,672
And the wor... is when the priest
or the minister says this...
35
00:02:01,756 --> 00:02:04,852
"Because the Lord
is inside of you."
36
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:07,817
He'll go,
"why are you laughing?"
37
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:09,677
- Don't laugh. Yeah.
- I'm sorry.
38
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:10,657
It's wor... it's the worst.
39
00:02:10,740 --> 00:02:13,377
Are you... are you the type
of guy who... you cry at a movie?
40
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:16,097
- I cry buckets at movies.
- At like...
41
00:02:16,180 --> 00:02:17,617
- At comedies I cry.
- No, no...
42
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:19,327
'cause I...
"I could've got that job."
43
00:02:19,410 --> 00:02:21,063
So, your wife...
44
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:24,437
So, you just cry out in the open
if you're sitting next to your wife.
45
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,897
Oh yeah... If I'm... if I... if a tear
is about to come down my face,
46
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,040
I'm at a sad movie,
47
00:02:29,227 --> 00:02:31,827
I'll just be using gravity
on this mother-[bleep] to spill it out.
48
00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,577
What? Sir, are you having
a hard time hearing the film?
49
00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:38,587
No, I-I was looking 'cause
you got a beautiful ceiling.
50
00:02:38,670 --> 00:02:40,127
- Oh, thank you very much.
- Craftsmanship up there.
51
00:02:40,210 --> 00:02:41,337
I appreciate it,
yeah, yeah.
52
00:02:41,420 --> 00:02:42,717
I'm sorry, baby,
hold on a second, baby,
53
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,000
Hold on a second, baby,
I'm just looking at the ceiling.
54
00:02:45,605 --> 00:02:47,383
Carvell thanks you for coming.
55
00:02:48,992 --> 00:02:50,900
First order of business,
I'm sure you all
56
00:02:50,984 --> 00:02:53,371
heard that Twigs got pulled
out the river this morning.
57
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:54,945
It ain't no secret
58
00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:57,516
that he and Carvell
grew up in the hood together.
59
00:02:58,257 --> 00:02:59,757
So listen up.
60
00:02:59,841 --> 00:03:02,234
'Cause Carvell
about to say some words.
61
00:03:11,461 --> 00:03:12,570
Okay, you know what?
62
00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:15,130
Don't none of you
look at them tears
63
00:03:15,214 --> 00:03:16,904
and think that [bleep]
is funny.
64
00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:21,230
Because it takes a big [bleep]
man to cry in front of his crew.
65
00:03:23,530 --> 00:03:24,932
Go ahead, Carvell.
66
00:03:28,602 --> 00:03:30,555
Y'all know Twigs was my boy.
67
00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:34,626
Back in the day,
68
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:38,710
we used to pretend
the sofa cushions was a fort.
69
00:03:39,030 --> 00:03:40,855
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
70
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,687
And we used to pretend
that the floor was molten lava.
71
00:03:44,996 --> 00:03:46,056
Oh...
72
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:49,899
Okay, you know what,
though?
73
00:03:50,870 --> 00:03:53,797
There ain't nothing funny
'bout that.
74
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:56,157
Of course this man is crying.
75
00:03:56,524 --> 00:04:00,697
'Cause he and Twigs
was kids together. Okay?
76
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:01,997
You know what I mean?
77
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,813
They was best friends
forever and [bleep].
78
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:07,321
Go ahead, Carvell.
79
00:04:09,079 --> 00:04:10,967
We used to play Care Bears.
80
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,657
Mmm-hmm.
Hmm-hmm.
81
00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:19,137
Twigs and I would spend
the good part of an afternoon
82
00:04:19,220 --> 00:04:23,140
trying to figure out
which C-C-Care Bear we was.
83
00:04:23,224 --> 00:04:26,368
Oh, oh...
84
00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:28,457
Oh...
85
00:04:28,540 --> 00:04:30,751
I wish one of y'all
mother-[bleep]
86
00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,597
Would just start laughing,
87
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,947
'cause you all know
you think this [bleep] is funny.
88
00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:39,990
Carvell over here, blubbering
and talking 'bout Care Bears.
89
00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:42,165
But you know what?
90
00:04:46,258 --> 00:04:47,274
But you...
91
00:04:52,969 --> 00:04:55,940
Those are manly tears!
Okay?
92
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:58,837
Those some manly-ass tears
93
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,740
right there that you lookin' at!
94
00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:03,540
Go ahead, Carvell.
95
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,467
And then...
96
00:05:06,550 --> 00:05:10,150
And then... and then...
and then... and... and... and...
97
00:05:12,707 --> 00:05:13,817
Mm, I'm sorry, man.
98
00:05:13,900 --> 00:05:15,937
That was a weird-ass sneeze
I just did right there.
99
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:16,657
God damn it.
100
00:05:16,740 --> 00:05:19,136
Can a brother get some [bleep]
claritin up in here?
101
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:26,548
Go ahead, Carvell.
102
00:05:27,899 --> 00:05:30,497
Twigs always
fancied himself Share Bear.
103
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,689
Mm...
104
00:05:34,828 --> 00:05:35,758
I always...
105
00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,560
I always thought...
thought of myself
106
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,637
thought of myself
as more of a Funshine Bear.
107
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:41,797
Mm... okay.
108
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:45,637
Okay, all you [bleep] need
to respect that right there!
109
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,720
Okay? Y'all need to listen
to Funshi...
110
00:05:56,850 --> 00:05:58,987
I'm so... I'm sorry, man.
111
00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:01,549
You a Funshine Bear, man.
I'm sorry, that...
112
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:04,072
That is some funny [bleep].
113
00:06:06,938 --> 00:06:08,663
Whoa, whoa.
114
00:06:12,408 --> 00:06:14,408
All right.
Let's go sell some crack.
115
00:06:20,620 --> 00:06:22,360
Jahari, my friend.
116
00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:24,647
There are a lot of beautiful
women out here today.
117
00:06:24,730 --> 00:06:25,747
Yeah.
118
00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:28,230
Karim, my friend,
you speak the truth.
119
00:06:28,314 --> 00:06:29,689
Well, I do what I can.
120
00:06:30,860 --> 00:06:32,347
- Ooh.
- Oh...
121
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:33,237
- Wow.
- Right?
122
00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,837
- Ha-ha.
- Blip.
123
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,547
Sha-bloimps.
124
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:39,377
You know, I caught a little
glimpse of her foot nut.
125
00:06:40,111 --> 00:06:41,317
You saw ankle bone?
126
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,177
Well...
127
00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:44,357
Got some ankle cleavage,
you dirty devil, huh?
128
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,314
- You saw?
- God, I saw.
129
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,550
Very good, very good...
130
00:06:58,060 --> 00:06:59,760
Mm.
131
00:07:00,310 --> 00:07:02,097
- Hmm-hmm.
- Oh...
132
00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:04,016
Dude, did you see
the bridge on that nose?
133
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,127
I mean, if it is
any indication...
134
00:07:06,210 --> 00:07:08,807
- Wow.
- Hhh-holy garbanzo beans.
135
00:07:08,890 --> 00:07:11,747
I'll tell you what.
That is a bridge I'd like to cross.
136
00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:17,010
This is my boy.
This is my boy.
137
00:07:17,472 --> 00:07:18,887
This is my boy.
138
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:21,830
Oh.
139
00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:27,859
Hmm.
140
00:07:29,724 --> 00:07:31,854
- Not a lot to go on there.
- Not really. Not really.
141
00:07:32,258 --> 00:07:33,316
- Good height.
- Good height.
142
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,992
- Good height.
- Crazy tall.
143
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:37,260
Yeah, like 5'9".
144
00:07:37,404 --> 00:07:39,114
Heh...
145
00:07:39,847 --> 00:07:43,196
Come on. Come on. Come on.
146
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,737
Come on. She's tall.
She's tall. She's tall.
147
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:47,847
That's right. She's tall.
There's nothing to be done.
148
00:07:47,930 --> 00:07:49,330
Getting wet. Let me see...
149
00:07:49,430 --> 00:07:51,703
Let me see it from behind.
Let me see it from behind.
150
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:53,947
That's how you hit it.
That's how you hit it.
151
00:07:54,030 --> 00:07:56,027
Jahari, can I tell you something
in confidence right now?
152
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:57,226
Okay.
153
00:07:57,513 --> 00:07:58,406
I'm a virgin.
154
00:08:03,580 --> 00:08:06,050
I went down to Georgia
a couple years ago,
155
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:07,940
and I was just... oh...
156
00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:09,207
It's not funny, it's just...
157
00:08:09,290 --> 00:08:11,927
- That's...
- just... just a fact.
158
00:08:12,010 --> 00:08:14,195
It's just what happened.
159
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,984
Trying to get
to the funny part.
160
00:08:17,100 --> 00:08:19,230
White people come up to you.
"Hey.
161
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,930
"So, you like Darius, huh?
You like Darius?"
162
00:08:24,310 --> 00:08:26,137
"What the [bleep]? Darius?
What are you talking to me..."
163
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:28,317
- "You like Darius?"
- Darius Rucker?
164
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,697
"Hootie, man. Hootie.
165
00:08:29,780 --> 00:08:30,757
Hootie, man.
Don't you love Hootie?
166
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:31,987
He's huge down there.
167
00:08:32,070 --> 00:08:33,767
He's enormous.
As a country star.
168
00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:34,977
Darius Rucker.
Huge down there.
169
00:08:35,060 --> 00:08:36,850
There's only like three ever.
Charley Pride,
170
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,450
Darius Rucker...
171
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:40,727
There's only two.
172
00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:41,980
There's two of 'em.
173
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:47,105
Ladies and gentlemen,
Darius Rucker.
174
00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:03,257
Don't go out
with my friends no more
175
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:05,776
Don't wanna
hold your hand no more
176
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,747
Hootie, Hootie...
177
00:09:07,830 --> 00:09:09,127
Hootie, Hootie, Hootie...
178
00:09:09,210 --> 00:09:10,367
And I don't wanna
be with you
179
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,150
Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, Hootie...
180
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,350
- No, no.
- Hootie, Hootie...
181
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:16,970
No, no, no, no.
182
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,000
I'm not in Hootie
and the Blowfish anymore, y'all.
183
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:21,580
Doing my own thing.
184
00:09:21,664 --> 00:09:23,571
What do you mean "in Hootie"?
185
00:09:23,655 --> 00:09:25,498
Because you are Hootie, man!
186
00:09:25,592 --> 00:09:28,467
- Come on, everybody!
- Hootie, Hootie...
187
00:09:28,550 --> 00:09:31,147
- Hootie, Hootie, Hootie...
- No, no...
188
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:33,630
No, no, no, all right,
now... now... now stop it, stop it.
189
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:38,000
I'm not Hootie.
I'm Darius Rucker. All right?
190
00:09:38,430 --> 00:09:39,810
I used to be the front man
191
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,230
for a band called
Hootie & the Blowfish.
192
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,280
All right,
but I was never Hootie.
193
00:09:44,630 --> 00:09:46,207
There was never a Hootie.
194
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,817
Just... if I may...
if I may ask,
195
00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,750
where are the Blowfish at,
right, guys?
196
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,247
Come on, everybody!
Blowfish!
197
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:54,060
Blowfish, Blowfish, Blowfish...
198
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,830
No, no, no! The...
199
00:09:55,920 --> 00:09:59,379
There are no people known
as "the Blowfish," y'all.
200
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:00,560
Okay?
201
00:10:00,700 --> 00:10:03,550
The whole band was just called
Hootie & the Blowfish. That's it.
202
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,330
It was a nonsense name.
203
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:08,200
Like Hoobastank.
Or Toad the Wet Sprocket.
204
00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:09,520
Oh.
205
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,267
Don't go out
with my friends no more
206
00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:22,140
Don't wanna
hold your hand no more
207
00:10:23,010 --> 00:10:23,997
Oh! Oh!
208
00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,647
What? What is it, man?
209
00:10:25,730 --> 00:10:27,723
I see. I get it now.
I understand.
210
00:10:27,807 --> 00:10:29,510
Hey, we gotta pick, y'all!
211
00:10:29,594 --> 00:10:31,211
- We gotta choose between...
- No, no...
212
00:10:31,295 --> 00:10:33,276
Hootie or the Blowfish!
213
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:36,343
So, who wants to see
the Blowfish?
214
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,160
There's no Blowfish.
215
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:44,710
And who wants
to see Hootie?
216
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,489
Hey.
217
00:10:52,370 --> 00:10:54,427
Hey, that... that hurts
my feelings, y'all.
218
00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:55,967
Yeah, but you said
you weren't Hootie.
219
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:57,757
No, I'm not, sir.
220
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,327
But in the question
you just asked the audience,
221
00:11:00,410 --> 00:11:01,736
I-I was clearly Hootie.
222
00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:03,697
- So you are Hootie!
- I'm not, though.
223
00:11:03,780 --> 00:11:05,567
He is Hootie!
Yeah!
224
00:11:05,650 --> 00:11:06,550
No...
225
00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,000
Hootie, Hootie...
226
00:11:09,120 --> 00:11:12,827
Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, Hootie,
227
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:14,730
Hootie, Hootie,
228
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:18,627
Hootie, Hootie, Hootie, Hootie,
229
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:22,545
Hootie, Hootie, Hootie...
230
00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,007
Hootie, Hootie, Hootie...
231
00:11:26,090 --> 00:11:28,640
I'm Hootie!
232
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,970
I'm Hootie! Aah!
233
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,350
I...
234
00:12:02,650 --> 00:12:04,160
am your substitute...
235
00:12:07,490 --> 00:12:09,190
Mr. Nostrand.
236
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:13,660
But that might as well say,
"No nonsense,"
237
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,480
because I...
238
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:18,400
do not...
play.
239
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,440
Now, today will not be
a day off.
240
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:26,360
In fact, today,
you will work harder than...
241
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:44,260
Somebody call
a Code Brown up in here.
242
00:12:45,380 --> 00:12:47,210
See you later,
Mr. Pootstrand!
243
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:55,157
Jordan and I
love action movies.
244
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,987
We love, you know, movies
where people are trying to...
245
00:12:57,070 --> 00:12:58,327
you know, smuggle contra...
246
00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,027
Like, Breaking Bad's
like our favorite show.
247
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:01,961
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
248
00:13:02,851 --> 00:13:04,922
Also like The Wire
and New Jack City.
249
00:13:05,005 --> 00:13:06,312
Yeah,
like that kind of stuff.
250
00:13:06,395 --> 00:13:07,862
- And anything that like...
- It intrigues us, yeah.
251
00:13:07,945 --> 00:13:10,348
Yeah, portrays African-Americans
as criminals.
252
00:13:10,431 --> 00:13:11,167
In the worst possible light.
253
00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,212
We just...
254
00:13:12,295 --> 00:13:15,165
- We love that. We love that.
- So, shame on us.
255
00:13:15,260 --> 00:13:17,117
But something
that always cracks me up.
256
00:13:17,201 --> 00:13:19,968
I love when you see cops
and DEA agents when they bust...
257
00:13:20,052 --> 00:13:21,896
You know, they bust
a whole bunch of cocaine.
258
00:13:21,980 --> 00:13:22,967
- Oh, yeah.
- And I lo...
259
00:13:23,050 --> 00:13:25,328
This is my favorite thing.
It's like, "Give it here."
260
00:13:25,649 --> 00:13:26,531
Like, come on.
261
00:13:26,615 --> 00:13:28,290
"That's 100% pure."
262
00:13:29,710 --> 00:13:32,002
I want to become a cop
just so I can go to that class.
263
00:13:32,085 --> 00:13:33,577
I just want to
go to that class
264
00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:35,352
where the cop's
just supposed to go...
265
00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:36,797
- "Get in there..."
- Yeah.
266
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:38,637
"I don't know if it's pure.
Hold on."
267
00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,067
"Let me just
crack that up in there.
268
00:13:41,150 --> 00:13:42,537
"Make sure that...
269
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:45,327
"I'm not sure yet if it's pure.
Hold on a second.
270
00:13:45,641 --> 00:13:48,238
'This could be only 80% pure.
Aah..."
271
00:14:11,262 --> 00:14:14,014
Eight kilos.
100%.
272
00:14:14,126 --> 00:14:17,066
Pure grade Afghani heroin.
273
00:14:32,211 --> 00:14:34,741
$100,000 U.S. dollars.
274
00:14:37,882 --> 00:14:39,239
Hold up.
275
00:14:39,757 --> 00:14:41,426
We should count it first.
276
00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:42,541
Mm. Mm-hmm.
277
00:14:45,522 --> 00:14:47,098
Be my guest.
278
00:15:01,244 --> 00:15:03,365
You know, we gonna do
a straight count on this right now.
279
00:15:03,449 --> 00:15:04,854
- Count it... count it?
- Yeah. Just...
280
00:15:04,938 --> 00:15:06,029
- Good idea.
- Mm-hmm.
281
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:06,969
Should probably do it fast
282
00:15:07,053 --> 00:15:08,893
so we don't make
our friends here wait.
283
00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:10,471
Mm-hmm. Okay.
284
00:15:10,898 --> 00:15:14,780
20, 40, 60, 80,
285
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:19,244
100, 20, 40, 60,
286
00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:21,127
80, 200...
287
00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:22,973
Hey, you know what? I'm fast.
Let me just do it.
288
00:15:23,057 --> 00:15:24,434
- You want... okay.
- I'll take care of that.
289
00:15:24,518 --> 00:15:25,956
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9...
290
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:27,925
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9...
291
00:15:28,038 --> 00:15:29,585
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
6, 7, 8, 9...
292
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:30,971
Hey, why... why are you
doin' piles of nine?
293
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,542
- It's faster than 10s.
- Oh, really?
294
00:15:32,626 --> 00:15:35,878
I do my nines 10 times, and
then I do an extra pile of 10.
295
00:15:35,962 --> 00:15:37,979
Fast. Okay. Yeah, yeah.
296
00:15:38,063 --> 00:15:39,579
You know, we... we should
probably both be counting.
297
00:15:39,663 --> 00:15:41,045
Oh, well, let's get to it.
298
00:15:41,129 --> 00:15:42,854
That's dou... double trouble.
All right.
299
00:15:42,938 --> 00:15:45,029
- And, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...
- 20, 40, 60...
300
00:15:45,113 --> 00:15:47,134
- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9...
- 80, 100, 20, 40,
301
00:15:47,218 --> 00:15:49,352
1, 2, 3, 4... Wait.
302
00:15:49,436 --> 00:15:50,493
Okay, I'm sorry, can you...
could you ple...
303
00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:52,041
Could you do something
like over there?
304
00:15:52,124 --> 00:15:53,757
- Yup. I'm gonna take.
- Please, it's a little distracting.
305
00:15:53,840 --> 00:15:54,964
- Oh, you know what?
- What's that?
306
00:15:55,047 --> 00:15:56,096
I got it.
We could time me.
307
00:15:56,179 --> 00:15:56,749
Okay.
308
00:15:56,832 --> 00:15:59,087
Okay, we time me
counting out 1,000.
309
00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:00,357
We take that time,
and then
310
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:04,341
we just count money
for that time times 100.
311
00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:08,572
No! I g... I got it.
This is it right here.
312
00:16:08,656 --> 00:16:12,340
I'm gonna do a web search
for a picture of $100,000.
313
00:16:12,424 --> 00:16:13,197
- Okay?
- Okay.
314
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:15,261
Then, you know, we'll know
what it's supposed to look like
315
00:16:15,344 --> 00:16:16,962
and then we can
arrange our money
316
00:16:17,045 --> 00:16:18,244
to look exactly like it.
317
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,869
And see... here. Hey. Here we go.
Right here, look.
318
00:16:21,288 --> 00:16:22,492
I mean, damn, that looks...
319
00:16:22,575 --> 00:16:24,267
That looks just like...
a lot like our money.
320
00:16:24,549 --> 00:16:26,355
I think we got
$100,000 here, folks.
321
00:16:26,439 --> 00:16:28,049
- I think we made it.
- No, that is our money.
322
00:16:28,218 --> 00:16:30,255
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, do...
Earlier...
323
00:16:30,339 --> 00:16:30,962
Yeah.
324
00:16:31,045 --> 00:16:33,256
When we were counting,
I took a picture of our money
325
00:16:33,339 --> 00:16:34,921
so I could upload it
on Yahoo! Answers.
326
00:16:35,004 --> 00:16:36,107
- Oh, damn.
- That's right.
327
00:16:36,190 --> 00:16:37,556
'Cause I just wanted to see
if anyone could verify
328
00:16:37,639 --> 00:16:39,071
- what $100,000 looked like.
- [bleep]!
329
00:16:39,154 --> 00:16:40,271
- Oh, you got it.
- What was I thinking?
330
00:16:40,354 --> 00:16:41,471
- You got it.
- I got it, man.
331
00:16:41,554 --> 00:16:42,878
- Go, go, go, go.
- I got it, I got it.
332
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:44,287
What the hell
are you doing, man?
333
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,290
I th... you know,
I was gonna try to Rain Man it.
334
00:16:46,469 --> 00:16:47,956
- Oh, that's a plan right there.
- That's right.
335
00:16:48,039 --> 00:16:49,861
- Okay, yeah, here we go.
- We can do that.
336
00:16:50,018 --> 00:16:51,309
Okay.
337
00:16:57,724 --> 00:16:59,546
Yup, yup. I got that.
I got that.
338
00:16:59,629 --> 00:17:01,499
20, 40, 60...
339
00:17:04,095 --> 00:17:06,083
99,980.
340
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,967
You guys ever hear...
You guys know the old standard,
341
00:17:38,050 --> 00:17:40,397
Uh, "It's Co..." is it called,
"It's Cold Outside?"
342
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,677
- "Baby, It's Cold Outside."
- "Baby, It's Cold Outside."
343
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:43,167
You know this old standard?
Right, yeah.
344
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:44,787
'30s and '40s.
345
00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:46,037
And so many people
have covered it.
346
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,027
It was written in like 1939
or something like that.
347
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:51,518
It's funny, when you listen
to the lyrics of the song, uh...
348
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:52,977
It's kinda rapey.
349
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:54,227
- It's a little rapey.
- It's a little rapey.
350
00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:55,583
It's like...
351
00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:57,627
It's true.
352
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,591
She said
she wanted to leave...
353
00:18:00,820 --> 00:18:02,360
You told her
it was cold outside.
354
00:18:02,830 --> 00:18:05,705
It's winter. She's very aware of
the fact that it's cold outside.
355
00:18:06,340 --> 00:18:07,627
She's not stup...
you know what I'm saying?
356
00:18:07,710 --> 00:18:09,127
- Yeah.
- "No" means no. Right?
357
00:18:09,210 --> 00:18:10,147
- Oh, yeah.
- You know?
358
00:18:10,230 --> 00:18:12,177
And this was... I got...
I got creeped out...
359
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:14,037
'cause I dr... I... In this scene
you're about to watch,
360
00:18:14,120 --> 00:18:15,160
I dressed up like a woman.
361
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,537
Lot of brothers like, "Man,
he dress up like a woman a lot."
362
00:18:17,737 --> 00:18:19,088
I'm just...
363
00:18:19,869 --> 00:18:22,595
just in touch
with my feminine side.
364
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,228
- Whoo! Thank you, girls.
- Yes.
365
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:27,320
But no, this one was confusing
for me because I was...
366
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:29,506
I... fir... I'm hot.
I'm hot.
367
00:18:29,589 --> 00:18:30,397
And so it's creepy.
368
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,628
You don't want
to look in the mirror
369
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,579
and be attracted to yourself.
Be like the...
370
00:18:34,454 --> 00:18:37,130
dude from Silence of the Lambs.
"I'd [bleep] me."
371
00:18:37,213 --> 00:18:38,670
You don't want that.
372
00:18:38,753 --> 00:18:39,823
Ah!
373
00:18:50,375 --> 00:18:52,385
Would you look at the time?
374
00:18:52,468 --> 00:18:54,379
You should just stay here tonight
375
00:18:54,463 --> 00:18:56,379
I've had too much wine
376
00:18:56,463 --> 00:18:58,223
You will leave
at first light
377
00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:00,453
It isn't that far
378
00:19:00,536 --> 00:19:01,975
Baby, just stay where you are
379
00:19:02,059 --> 00:19:03,374
Back to my place
380
00:19:03,457 --> 00:19:06,257
You can't escape
from my embrace
381
00:19:06,637 --> 00:19:09,153
I really had a very nice time
382
00:19:09,237 --> 00:19:11,051
Let me just refill that wine
383
00:19:11,135 --> 00:19:13,496
But I really need
to just say good-bye
384
00:19:13,580 --> 00:19:15,267
I would love to see you try
385
00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:16,703
Please unlock this door
386
00:19:16,786 --> 00:19:18,676
It's locked from the outside
387
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:22,113
-
Babe, you're mine tonight
-
I cannot stay tonight
388
00:19:22,826 --> 00:19:24,443
Look, I really have to go
389
00:19:24,526 --> 00:19:26,423
No, you really have to stay
390
00:19:26,506 --> 00:19:28,252
Hey, "no" means no
391
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,522
That is what they all say
392
00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:32,180
You're hurting my arm
393
00:19:32,263 --> 00:19:33,950
I won't cause you any harm
394
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,549
Let go of me
395
00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:38,613
We can make this hard
or just easy
396
00:19:38,697 --> 00:19:41,463
A woman always
comes prepared
397
00:19:41,546 --> 00:19:42,772
Ooh, I'm really scared
398
00:19:42,855 --> 00:19:44,742
I said this is not what I want
399
00:19:44,825 --> 00:19:46,481
Why you have to be such a...
400
00:19:46,564 --> 00:19:48,481
I know self-defense
401
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,504
I dare you to try it
402
00:19:50,625 --> 00:19:52,712
I don't want to fight
403
00:19:52,795 --> 00:19:57,165
Bitch,
you are mine tonight
404
00:20:10,936 --> 00:20:13,014
Please, just please go away
405
00:20:13,097 --> 00:20:15,314
I thought that you
wanted me to stay
406
00:20:15,397 --> 00:20:17,224
Well... well,
I just changed my mind
407
00:20:17,307 --> 00:20:19,563
Think I'll just
stay and unwind
408
00:20:19,646 --> 00:20:21,842
How did this all switch?
409
00:20:21,925 --> 00:20:24,642
Now you are...
410
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:26,595
My...
411
00:20:26,782 --> 00:20:28,185
Bitch
412
00:20:28,269 --> 00:20:30,186
Please just be kind tonight!
413
00:20:30,269 --> 00:20:32,713
Now you're mine...
414
00:20:32,796 --> 00:20:34,813
To...
415
00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:37,893
Night
416
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:54,709
- Good night!
- Good night!
417
00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:58,400
Sync & corrections by dwigt
www.addic7ed.com
418
00:20:58,489 --> 00:21:01,245
I'm gonna do my one line here
419
00:21:02,113 --> 00:21:03,448
Oh, yeah!
420
00:21:03,634 --> 00:21:05,335
Resync BluRay by LeRalouf
421
00:21:05,727 --> 00:21:07,312
All these ladies in the front row
422
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,140
with you short skirts talking 'bout.
423
00:21:13,562 --> 00:21:14,890
Here's this guy right here
424
00:21:14,961 --> 00:21:17,342
he's having a great time
he's just like.
425
00:21:17,602 --> 00:21:20,051
Like the best beer-pong player ever.
426
00:21:20,101 --> 00:21:24,651
Repair and Synchronization by
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