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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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Sorry.
3
00:00:53,626 --> 00:00:55,429
- It's okay.
- Yeah.
4
00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,599
Hey, Nate, we're leaving.
5
00:01:02,436 --> 00:01:03,671
Okay.
6
00:01:04,904 --> 00:01:05,804
Can I just put it in?
7
00:01:05,806 --> 00:01:07,938
No, put a condom on.
8
00:01:07,940 --> 00:01:11,378
- Michelle, I don't think it's...
- Nate, put a condom on.
9
00:01:13,146 --> 00:01:14,845
You know what? It's fine.
I'll just go down on you.
10
00:01:14,847 --> 00:01:18,649
No, it's fine,
just stop shaking.
11
00:01:18,651 --> 00:01:19,653
I'm not shaking.
12
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Okay, right.
13
00:01:27,761 --> 00:01:29,494
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
14
00:01:31,431 --> 00:01:32,833
Wake up. We are going.
15
00:01:34,168 --> 00:01:34,734
Fucking...
16
00:01:36,836 --> 00:01:37,703
I think as I fingered you,
17
00:01:37,705 --> 00:01:38,937
my hands are, like,
super slippery.
18
00:01:38,939 --> 00:01:40,905
- Just give it to me.
- Okay.
19
00:01:42,175 --> 00:01:43,741
Only these stupid free ones they
give you at the health center
20
00:01:43,743 --> 00:01:45,676
are impossible to open.
21
00:01:45,678 --> 00:01:47,913
Oh, okay, thanks.
22
00:01:47,915 --> 00:01:48,782
Okay.
23
00:01:49,949 --> 00:01:51,750
All right.
24
00:01:51,752 --> 00:01:52,651
Okay.
25
00:01:57,890 --> 00:01:59,791
Yo, Nate, you awake?
26
00:01:59,793 --> 00:02:00,792
What?
27
00:02:00,794 --> 00:02:02,597
We're going to breakfast.
You wanna come?
28
00:02:03,529 --> 00:02:05,530
No. Well...
29
00:02:05,532 --> 00:02:07,899
- You wanna have breakfast?
- No.
30
00:02:07,901 --> 00:02:10,001
- No, we're good.
- All right.
31
00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:11,606
Yeah.
32
00:02:12,539 --> 00:02:13,604
I'm just...
33
00:02:13,606 --> 00:02:14,605
Nate,
do you have it?
34
00:02:14,607 --> 00:02:15,877
Yeah, almost, yeah.
35
00:02:18,611 --> 00:02:19,680
Come on, fuck it.
36
00:02:21,449 --> 00:02:22,784
Hey, did I leave
my bong in there?
37
00:02:23,550 --> 00:02:26,884
No, there's no fucking bongs
in here, man.
38
00:02:26,886 --> 00:02:29,523
All right, dude.
Fuck.
39
00:02:45,671 --> 00:02:46,905
What?
40
00:02:56,650 --> 00:02:58,018
What do you think
the problem is?
41
00:03:00,987 --> 00:03:03,457
I don't know. It's...
It's not like physical or...
42
00:03:04,857 --> 00:03:08,062
I don't know, it's so stupid.
It's like fucking stupid.
43
00:03:08,962 --> 00:03:10,694
Okay, are...
44
00:03:10,696 --> 00:03:12,797
Are you nervous or...?
45
00:03:12,799 --> 00:03:14,902
No, I'm not nervous.
I just... I don't...
46
00:03:25,312 --> 00:03:27,014
Maybe it's just...
47
00:03:30,283 --> 00:03:31,650
I don't know,
maybe you're just not
48
00:03:31,652 --> 00:03:33,020
the right girl for me.
49
00:03:35,321 --> 00:04:06,164
What?
50
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,366
Yeah, I don't know, maybe...
51
00:04:09,368 --> 00:04:11,134
Maybe that's all it is, just...
52
00:04:11,136 --> 00:04:13,069
I don't know.
53
00:04:15,806 --> 00:04:16,841
Are you serious?
54
00:04:18,710 --> 00:04:20,110
Uh...
55
00:04:20,112 --> 00:04:22,178
Wait, um, I don't know. Uh...
56
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:23,583
You don't know?
57
00:04:24,750 --> 00:04:26,651
Okay. Oh, shit.
58
00:04:32,424 --> 00:04:33,690
What?
59
00:04:33,692 --> 00:04:36,959
I cannot believe that you are
blaming me for your problems.
60
00:04:36,961 --> 00:04:38,863
I'm not the right girl for you?
61
00:04:39,798 --> 00:04:41,734
No, I'm not blaming anyone,
I'm just...
62
00:04:42,668 --> 00:04:43,666
- I'm just... I don't know...
- What?
63
00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:44,201
A lot of people
aren't right for each other.
64
00:04:44,203 --> 00:04:45,335
It's not a big deal.
65
00:04:45,337 --> 00:04:47,670
Okay, so what? You wanna
stop seeing me? Is that it?
66
00:04:47,672 --> 00:04:49,004
No, of course not.
67
00:04:49,006 --> 00:04:51,874
Wow, you are an asshole, Nate.
68
00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:53,742
Just because you are
skinny and awkward
69
00:04:53,744 --> 00:04:55,145
that doesn't make you
a nice guy, okay?
70
00:04:55,147 --> 00:04:56,780
You're a fucking asshole.
71
00:04:56,782 --> 00:04:59,982
Well, you were kind
of pressuring me.
72
00:04:59,984 --> 00:05:01,917
I am so sorry that I wanted you
to do something
73
00:05:01,919 --> 00:05:04,119
other than go down on me
for once.
74
00:05:04,121 --> 00:05:06,056
I thought girls like that.
75
00:05:06,058 --> 00:05:07,627
Not when you're bad at it.
76
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,203
So, can I call you later or...
77
00:05:32,784 --> 00:05:33,482
Hello?
78
00:05:33,484 --> 00:05:35,884
Yo, Nate, it's Kahji.
79
00:05:35,886 --> 00:05:37,953
Hey, Kahji, what's up, dude?
80
00:05:37,955 --> 00:05:40,725
I just wanted to make sure you
and Alec were all set for today.
81
00:05:41,859 --> 00:05:43,193
Today?
What do you mean?
82
00:05:43,195 --> 00:05:45,929
Today is my wedding, dawg.
Did you forget?
83
00:05:45,931 --> 00:05:48,034
Shit.
84
00:05:50,869 --> 00:05:52,936
No, of course not, man, I...
85
00:05:52,938 --> 00:05:54,871
We'll be there.
It's been on my calendar.
86
00:05:54,873 --> 00:05:55,905
Sweet.
87
00:05:55,907 --> 00:05:58,006
I'll text you the address
and information again
88
00:05:58,008 --> 00:05:59,109
to make sure you have it.
89
00:05:59,111 --> 00:06:01,076
Stoked to see you, boys.
90
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:02,946
Stoked to see you, too, buddy.
91
00:06:02,948 --> 00:06:04,684
Keep it chinchilla.
92
00:06:11,088 --> 00:06:12,891
Kahji is getting married today.
93
00:06:24,503 --> 00:06:25,971
Fuck me.
94
00:06:57,268 --> 00:06:58,804
Hello.
95
00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:02,138
Hey, puppies.
96
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,139
- Hi.
- Hi!
97
00:07:04,141 --> 00:07:06,141
Oh, my gosh, you made
such good time.
98
00:07:06,143 --> 00:07:08,278
There's no traffic.
It was the craziest thing.
99
00:07:08,280 --> 00:07:11,146
- Hey, how's it going?
- Oh, look at you!
100
00:07:11,148 --> 00:07:12,148
Hey.
101
00:07:13,018 --> 00:07:14,984
- Hey.
- You are taller.
102
00:07:14,986 --> 00:07:16,085
- Really?
- I think you're...
103
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:17,153
I feel taller, yeah.
104
00:07:17,155 --> 00:07:19,222
Hey, did you like the sign
I put on the front door?
105
00:07:19,224 --> 00:07:21,160
I did, yeah.
Did you make that today?
106
00:07:22,893 --> 00:07:24,828
I texted you like two hours ago
that I was coming home.
107
00:07:24,830 --> 00:07:26,562
Yeah, and I ran to the store
and got all your favorites.
108
00:07:26,564 --> 00:07:28,767
Orange juice, Goldfish,
Gatorade, everything.
109
00:07:29,333 --> 00:07:30,467
- Sweet.
- Yes.
110
00:07:30,469 --> 00:07:32,335
So what do you wanna do?
Do you wanna watch a movie?
111
00:07:32,337 --> 00:07:33,302
Do you wanna go to a movie?
112
00:07:33,304 --> 00:07:34,871
We could hike with the dogs.
113
00:07:34,873 --> 00:07:36,271
We could also
go play putt-putt or...
114
00:07:36,273 --> 00:07:37,439
You're making a face.
115
00:07:37,441 --> 00:07:39,943
Yeah, I'm actually busy today,
I'm going to a wedding.
116
00:07:39,945 --> 00:07:41,376
I meant to tell you,
but I forgot.
117
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:42,879
- Oh, you are?
- Yes.
118
00:07:42,881 --> 00:07:43,980
Uh...
119
00:07:43,982 --> 00:07:45,148
It was a super
last-minute thing,
120
00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:47,217
but, yeah, I got to go,
I'm going to be busy all day.
121
00:07:48,453 --> 00:07:51,254
Oh, that's... well, that's kind
of neat going to a wedding.
122
00:07:51,256 --> 00:07:52,155
That's fun.
123
00:07:52,157 --> 00:07:54,189
- Yeah.
- Great.
124
00:07:54,191 --> 00:07:55,828
Well, good.
125
00:07:56,927 --> 00:07:58,061
- Yeah.
- It's good to see you, though.
126
00:07:58,063 --> 00:07:59,295
- So great you're home.
- I'm so excited.
127
00:07:59,297 --> 00:08:00,295
Do you have...
Is the breakfast ready?
128
00:08:00,297 --> 00:08:01,931
I'm starving.
129
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:06,302
I don't understand why are you
going to this guy's wedding
130
00:08:06,304 --> 00:08:08,203
if you aren't really
friends with him.
131
00:08:08,205 --> 00:08:10,109
Thank you, gracias.
132
00:08:10,909 --> 00:08:11,908
I mean,
we were friends with him.
133
00:08:11,910 --> 00:08:12,811
He was just like...
134
00:08:13,746 --> 00:08:14,912
He was just, like,
this really weird friend
135
00:08:14,914 --> 00:08:18,114
that we hung out with in
the high school, I don't know.
136
00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:20,383
Alec and I are kind of going
as a joke more than anything.
137
00:08:20,385 --> 00:08:21,951
Alec is going?
138
00:08:21,953 --> 00:08:23,352
Uh-huh.
Yeah, it's me and him.
139
00:08:23,354 --> 00:08:24,390
Oh.
140
00:08:26,224 --> 00:08:28,090
What?
141
00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:30,128
I don't know, I just thought
maybe you and Alec grew apart.
142
00:08:30,996 --> 00:08:33,396
Why do you still think
Alec is such a bad kid?
143
00:08:33,398 --> 00:08:36,032
Remember Susan Miller's son
who had to transfer schools
144
00:08:36,034 --> 00:08:38,070
because Alec
used to call him a faggot?
145
00:08:38,636 --> 00:08:40,872
Mom, that was
like eight years ago.
146
00:08:42,073 --> 00:08:43,639
And that kid used to tuck
his pants into his socks.
147
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:46,311
That is no reason
to call someone a faggot.
148
00:08:47,345 --> 00:08:48,944
It's just a hate speech, Nate.
149
00:08:48,946 --> 00:08:50,646
Might I remind you,
you have a gay uncle.
150
00:08:50,648 --> 00:08:52,114
I know.
151
00:08:52,116 --> 00:08:53,650
- Hey, Nate.
- Hey, Dad.
152
00:08:53,652 --> 00:08:55,854
- Jesus.
- Allegedly gay.
153
00:08:59,424 --> 00:09:00,389
Dad, he's gay.
154
00:09:00,391 --> 00:09:01,392
- He's gay.
- Yeah.
155
00:09:02,393 --> 00:09:03,358
Whatever.
156
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,929
Jim, Nate was just telling me
157
00:09:05,931 --> 00:09:08,968
that he has a girlfriend
he's seeing at school.
158
00:09:09,935 --> 00:09:12,035
Yeah, I mean, she's not, like,
my girlfriend.
159
00:09:12,037 --> 00:09:13,435
We're just sort of seeing
each other.
160
00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:15,338
Well, I looked her up
on Facebook,
161
00:09:15,340 --> 00:09:18,174
and she is cute as a button.
162
00:09:18,176 --> 00:09:19,943
Mom, don't look her up
on Facebook.
163
00:09:19,945 --> 00:09:21,678
That makes me
super uncomfortable.
164
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:24,012
I just picked her out
in a couple group shots
165
00:09:24,014 --> 00:09:25,714
and read a little bit
about her "About Me,"
166
00:09:25,716 --> 00:09:27,317
and then I liked
one group photo.
167
00:09:27,319 --> 00:09:28,418
- That was it.
- You liked a photo?
168
00:09:28,420 --> 00:09:30,152
It was a group shot.
169
00:09:30,154 --> 00:09:31,487
Oh, shit.
170
00:09:31,489 --> 00:09:32,288
Do you follow her?
171
00:09:32,290 --> 00:09:33,588
She'll think
I'm somebody's aunt.
172
00:09:33,590 --> 00:09:37,260
No, We have the same last name.
She's going to know it's you.
173
00:09:37,262 --> 00:09:40,329
Don't like any photos.
No social media.
174
00:09:40,331 --> 00:09:41,698
Delete your accounts.
175
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:43,232
You don't need Facebook.
176
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:44,032
I don't do the Facebook.
177
00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:44,934
I don't have time
for the Facebook.
178
00:09:44,936 --> 00:09:46,703
Okay, I will go in
and unlike it.
179
00:09:46,705 --> 00:09:48,271
She will never...
I did it like eight minutes ago.
180
00:09:48,273 --> 00:09:49,338
Don't unlike it.
181
00:09:49,340 --> 00:09:50,073
She'll notice that you liked it
and unliked it.
182
00:09:50,075 --> 00:09:52,040
Just don't...
I don't know how...
183
00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:55,047
Just please delete
your accounts, please.
184
00:09:56,447 --> 00:09:58,982
And what the hell is going on
with your car, anyway?
185
00:09:58,984 --> 00:10:00,449
I looked inside,
there's fast-food bags,
186
00:10:00,451 --> 00:10:01,251
there's cups everywhere,
187
00:10:01,253 --> 00:10:03,185
you can't even see
the damn floor.
188
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:04,721
I mean, it's kind
of disrespectful to us,
189
00:10:04,723 --> 00:10:05,822
Nate, seriously.
190
00:10:05,824 --> 00:10:08,024
Dad, how many times I told you
to get me a beater.
191
00:10:08,026 --> 00:10:09,358
I didn't want
a car that nice.
192
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:10,528
You knew I was going
to trash it.
193
00:10:11,729 --> 00:10:12,996
What did we do wrong?
194
00:10:12,998 --> 00:10:15,100
I mean, what teenager complains
about driving a Range Rover?
195
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,367
When I was a kid, my parents
didn't have the money
196
00:10:17,369 --> 00:10:18,767
to buy me a goddamn thing.
197
00:10:18,769 --> 00:10:20,402
You know where I slept
when I was a baby?
198
00:10:20,404 --> 00:10:22,204
I do, please tell me again.
199
00:10:22,206 --> 00:10:25,141
In a drawer, in their dresser
200
00:10:25,143 --> 00:10:26,309
that they stuffed blankets in
201
00:10:26,311 --> 00:10:27,979
'cause they couldn't afford
a crib.
202
00:10:29,147 --> 00:10:31,079
Dad, what difference does that
make to you if you're a baby?
203
00:10:31,081 --> 00:10:32,314
You have no memories
when you're a baby.
204
00:10:32,316 --> 00:10:33,318
That makes no sense.
205
00:10:34,319 --> 00:10:35,421
I got memories, kid.
206
00:10:37,455 --> 00:10:38,958
It's ready.
207
00:10:43,027 --> 00:10:44,261
Thank you.
208
00:10:44,263 --> 00:10:46,094
The drawer thing is getting
a little stale, honey, just...
209
00:10:46,096 --> 00:10:47,362
I'm just trying
to make a point, babe.
210
00:10:47,364 --> 00:10:48,798
All right, guys.
211
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,032
It's good to see you.
212
00:10:50,034 --> 00:10:51,267
- You're leaving already?
- Yeah.
213
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:54,503
I told Alec I'd meet up with him
before 12:00, so I gotta go.
214
00:10:54,505 --> 00:10:56,104
- It's good seeing you, Dad.
- All right, kid.
215
00:10:56,106 --> 00:10:58,540
- Bye.
- Honey, you just got here.
216
00:10:58,542 --> 00:11:00,311
I know, I'll come home more,
I promise.
217
00:11:01,513 --> 00:11:02,478
Thank you so much for breakfast,
218
00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,546
Isabelle, thank you so much
for breakfast.
219
00:11:04,548 --> 00:11:05,550
Love you guys, bye.
220
00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:07,450
Bye.
221
00:11:07,452 --> 00:11:10,121
You are gonna be sober
at this wedding, right?
222
00:11:11,822 --> 00:11:12,921
What?
223
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,457
I just know how crazy
Alec can get when he drinks.
224
00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:15,994
I don't want you
to get in trouble.
225
00:11:17,829 --> 00:11:19,098
We won't, I promise.
226
00:11:21,432 --> 00:11:22,433
Okay.
227
00:11:24,134 --> 00:11:25,801
All right.
Love you, guys. Bye.
228
00:11:25,803 --> 00:11:27,305
- Bye.
- Bye.
229
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,540
He's not gonna be sober.
230
00:11:52,596 --> 00:11:54,032
- Hmm...
- Hey, Val.
231
00:11:56,066 --> 00:11:59,434
Well, look who's here,
the college boy.
232
00:11:59,436 --> 00:12:01,139
Yeah. Oh, sorry.
233
00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:06,608
So how are you liking school?
234
00:12:06,610 --> 00:12:08,644
It's good, I like it a lot.
It's a lot of fun.
235
00:12:08,646 --> 00:12:10,246
Oh, I bet.
236
00:12:10,248 --> 00:12:12,615
I'm sure the girls got
their hands all over you.
237
00:12:13,518 --> 00:12:14,485
Uh, I don't know.
238
00:12:15,486 --> 00:12:17,188
Well, I can't say I blame them.
239
00:12:21,191 --> 00:12:22,190
What?
240
00:12:22,192 --> 00:12:23,092
Yo.
241
00:12:23,094 --> 00:12:24,493
- Hey, what's up buddy?
- What's up, dude?
242
00:12:24,495 --> 00:12:25,529
Good to see you, man.
243
00:12:25,531 --> 00:12:28,264
Good to see you too, man.
What the fuck is this?
244
00:12:28,266 --> 00:12:29,565
You a vest guy now?
245
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,467
Is this all the frat guys are
wearing at rich kid university?
246
00:12:31,469 --> 00:12:33,169
Stop touching me.
It's a nice vest.
247
00:12:33,171 --> 00:12:34,569
No, it's beautiful.
I'm just fucking with you, man.
248
00:12:34,571 --> 00:12:37,341
Hey, Mom, could you make us
some snacks?
249
00:12:38,442 --> 00:12:40,211
What do you expect me to make?
250
00:12:40,878 --> 00:12:43,382
You know, just some snacks.
251
00:12:44,382 --> 00:12:45,615
Like what kind of snacks?
252
00:12:45,617 --> 00:12:47,415
We have the... the...
the pizza,
253
00:12:47,417 --> 00:12:49,519
the bagels with the pizza on it
in the freezer.
254
00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:52,487
I don't know how to make fucking
pizza bagels, just...
255
00:12:52,489 --> 00:12:54,357
God, go to the Quick Mart.
256
00:12:54,359 --> 00:12:55,527
All right, Mom, forget it.
257
00:12:56,561 --> 00:12:57,628
Fuck.
258
00:13:05,335 --> 00:13:07,536
Oh, bam, dude.
Fuck, yes.
259
00:13:07,538 --> 00:13:08,603
How do you shoot it
like that?
260
00:13:08,605 --> 00:13:10,640
You just gotta push
your joystick.
261
00:13:10,642 --> 00:13:11,907
This one,
you're flicking left.
262
00:13:11,909 --> 00:13:13,242
Why are there two...
This one?
263
00:13:13,244 --> 00:13:14,709
It's the right joystick,
tard.
264
00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:15,646
Oh.
265
00:13:16,648 --> 00:13:18,514
Dude, you know,
I was thinking about tonight
266
00:13:18,516 --> 00:13:20,382
and I really don't wanna go
to Kahji's wedding.
267
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:21,617
I say we don't go.
268
00:13:21,619 --> 00:13:23,452
- Don't go to Kahji's wedding?
- I say we blow it off, dude.
269
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:24,719
Just go get fucked up
or something.
270
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,289
No, no, no, dude, we have to go.
271
00:13:26,291 --> 00:13:27,723
That'll break his heart
if we don't go.
272
00:13:27,725 --> 00:13:28,991
No, it won't.
273
00:13:28,993 --> 00:13:30,726
We weren't even really friends
with him in high school, dude.
274
00:13:30,728 --> 00:13:32,531
I haven't seen him
since graduation.
275
00:13:33,364 --> 00:13:35,298
We could do something fun,
like go to a bar.
276
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:36,665
What bar is going to let us in?
277
00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,700
Dude, don't worry about it,
I got plenty of spots.
278
00:13:38,702 --> 00:13:40,937
Dude, stop. You don't have
any fucking spots.
279
00:13:40,939 --> 00:13:43,939
Every time you say,
"Oh, I know some bouncer.
280
00:13:43,941 --> 00:13:45,741
I know some guy
who's going to let us in,"
281
00:13:45,743 --> 00:13:47,376
You fucking don't,
282
00:13:47,378 --> 00:13:49,511
and we always end up
getting fucked up for no reason.
283
00:13:49,513 --> 00:13:51,213
Let's just go to the wedding.
284
00:13:51,215 --> 00:13:52,615
Dude, I really
don't wanna see Kahji,
285
00:13:52,617 --> 00:13:54,416
and his weird fucking family,
286
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:57,285
and his mom
who's strangely hot.
287
00:13:57,287 --> 00:13:58,753
I mean, I think
it's going to be fucking lame.
288
00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:00,756
Plus, you know, what if his mom
is looking really good,
289
00:14:00,758 --> 00:14:02,525
and I drink
a little too much and...
290
00:14:02,527 --> 00:14:03,525
I end up wanting to fuck her?
291
00:14:03,527 --> 00:14:04,461
I won't be able
to control myself at that point.
292
00:14:04,463 --> 00:14:06,429
Yeah, you're right.
No, she'll be down.
293
00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:07,997
No, I see the face,
I see the face,
294
00:14:07,999 --> 00:14:09,064
you're super fucking pretty,
dude.
295
00:14:09,066 --> 00:14:10,632
She'll be down for sure.
We really shouldn't go.
296
00:14:10,634 --> 00:14:11,534
- You know what?
- You're right.
297
00:14:11,536 --> 00:14:13,236
Make fun of me now, dude,
but you won't
298
00:14:13,238 --> 00:14:15,338
when you walk in on me
fucking her doggy style
299
00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:16,374
like it's my job.
300
00:14:20,545 --> 00:14:22,777
Do you know this is going to be
his first kiss?
301
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,679
The fuck are you talking about,
dude?
302
00:14:24,681 --> 00:14:26,716
Today at the wedding,
it's going to be the first time
303
00:14:26,718 --> 00:14:27,717
Kahji has ever kissed a girl.
304
00:14:27,719 --> 00:14:28,650
I swear to God.
305
00:14:28,652 --> 00:14:29,986
That's bullshit.
306
00:14:29,988 --> 00:14:31,154
Swear to God,
that's what he told me.
307
00:14:31,156 --> 00:14:33,455
Him and this girl he's dating
are both super religious,
308
00:14:33,457 --> 00:14:34,591
so they wanted to wait
until the priest says,
309
00:14:34,593 --> 00:14:36,726
"You may now kiss the bride"
to have their first kiss.
310
00:14:36,728 --> 00:14:38,560
It's what he told me.
Swear to God.
311
00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:39,996
That's the stupidest
fucking thing
312
00:14:39,998 --> 00:14:41,197
I've ever heard in my life.
313
00:14:41,199 --> 00:14:42,998
Yeah, but think about how funny
it's going to be to watch.
314
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,133
Let's just go, man.
315
00:14:44,135 --> 00:14:45,603
There's nothing else to do
around here, anyway, please.
316
00:14:46,503 --> 00:14:47,569
Please.
317
00:14:47,571 --> 00:14:49,405
Please, please, please,
it'll mean so much to him.
318
00:14:49,407 --> 00:14:50,606
All right, fine.
Fuck.
319
00:14:50,608 --> 00:14:52,507
We'll go the wedding, man.
320
00:14:52,509 --> 00:14:53,575
Thank you.
321
00:14:58,715 --> 00:15:00,686
I actually might fuck
his mom, though.
322
00:15:05,422 --> 00:15:06,756
Dude, you want me to drive?
323
00:15:06,758 --> 00:15:08,657
Oh, yeah, sure.
324
00:15:08,659 --> 00:15:09,758
Knock yourself out.
325
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:11,294
Oh shit, hold on.
326
00:15:11,296 --> 00:15:12,328
What?
What? What? What?
327
00:15:12,330 --> 00:15:13,128
Nothing, my neighbor's
just outside, man.
328
00:15:13,130 --> 00:15:15,399
I don't... I don't want him
to see me.
329
00:15:16,633 --> 00:15:18,300
Why not?
330
00:15:18,302 --> 00:15:20,670
I don't know dude,
he's just an asshole.
331
00:15:20,672 --> 00:15:21,538
Fuck, all right, come on.
332
00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:23,606
Just be quick.
Maybe he won't see us.
333
00:15:23,608 --> 00:15:24,575
Okay.
334
00:15:29,747 --> 00:15:31,414
Dude, what the fuck,
where's the hole?
335
00:15:31,416 --> 00:15:32,448
It's a button, dude.
It's a button.
336
00:15:32,450 --> 00:15:33,716
All right. Shh.
337
00:15:33,718 --> 00:15:34,650
Shit.
338
00:15:34,652 --> 00:15:36,618
Hey, Alec.
339
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,788
Fuck.
340
00:15:39,657 --> 00:15:41,259
Hey, Tommy.
341
00:15:43,661 --> 00:15:45,497
Goddamnit.
342
00:15:51,802 --> 00:15:53,468
You know, we're
in a pretty serious drought.
343
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:55,771
I think your grass might be
green enough there, Tommy.
344
00:15:55,773 --> 00:15:57,772
What are you, a landscaper now?
345
00:15:57,774 --> 00:15:59,708
No, I'm an environmentalist.
346
00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:00,678
Do me a favor, okay?
347
00:16:01,546 --> 00:16:03,545
Can you stop openly trying
to avoid me?
348
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:04,512
It's insulting.
349
00:16:04,514 --> 00:16:05,381
I'm not trying to avoid you.
350
00:16:05,383 --> 00:16:06,582
I just think you're
the kind of guy
351
00:16:06,584 --> 00:16:08,619
that maybe appreciate your space
more than most, you know?
352
00:16:10,488 --> 00:16:13,389
When am I going to get the money
for my car, Alec?
353
00:16:13,391 --> 00:16:14,623
It's been two weeks already.
354
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,692
Tommy, I'm going to get you
your money for your car, okay?
355
00:16:16,694 --> 00:16:17,660
I promise.
356
00:16:17,662 --> 00:16:19,428
You know how annoying it is
not to be able
357
00:16:19,430 --> 00:16:20,496
to open my front door?
358
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:21,764
Every time I wanna get in,
359
00:16:21,766 --> 00:16:22,765
I got to climb in
through the window
360
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:23,734
like I'm in the fucking
"Dukes of Hazzard."
361
00:16:26,436 --> 00:16:27,670
Dude, what the fuck are
The Dukes of Hazzard?
362
00:16:27,672 --> 00:16:29,572
Don't be a smartass, Alec.
363
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:31,439
I know you think you can weasel
your way out of this somehow,
364
00:16:31,441 --> 00:16:32,842
but you can't.
365
00:16:32,844 --> 00:16:36,112
If I don't get that money
by noon tomorrow,
366
00:16:36,114 --> 00:16:37,545
I'm gonna walk over
to your house
367
00:16:37,547 --> 00:16:39,548
and tell your mother
that you backed into it
368
00:16:39,550 --> 00:16:40,882
while you were drunk.
369
00:16:40,884 --> 00:16:44,322
Don't, man, I'm going to get you
your money, okay?
370
00:16:45,489 --> 00:16:47,490
You better hope so, Alec.
371
00:16:47,492 --> 00:16:48,760
You better fucking hope so.
372
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,901
Goddamnit, dude.
What is this shit?
373
00:16:59,903 --> 00:17:01,937
Why do you trash this car, man?
374
00:17:01,939 --> 00:17:03,572
- I don't know.
- Why do you do it?
375
00:17:03,574 --> 00:17:04,609
I'm sorry.
376
00:17:05,475 --> 00:17:06,842
What happened
with your neighbor?
377
00:17:06,844 --> 00:17:08,479
Oh...
378
00:17:09,846 --> 00:17:12,714
I fucking backed up
into his car the other night
379
00:17:12,716 --> 00:17:14,416
when I was super fucked up.
380
00:17:14,418 --> 00:17:16,684
Dude, you need to stop drinking
and driving, man.
381
00:17:16,686 --> 00:17:17,589
I know.
382
00:17:18,523 --> 00:17:20,155
I owe that dude three grand
for his car.
383
00:17:20,157 --> 00:17:21,623
It's fucking ridiculous.
384
00:17:21,625 --> 00:17:22,660
Fuck.
385
00:17:25,662 --> 00:17:27,798
Yo, is there any way you can,
like, loan me the money?
386
00:17:28,766 --> 00:17:30,936
I mean, I'll pay you back
as soon as I can.
387
00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:33,803
No, I mean, I would,
388
00:17:33,805 --> 00:17:36,972
but, like, my parents they check
my credit card accounts, so...
389
00:17:36,974 --> 00:17:38,640
I can call them
and explain the situation-
390
00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:39,709
I mean, they might...
391
00:17:39,711 --> 00:17:40,510
Maybe they'll
help you out, I don't know.
392
00:17:40,512 --> 00:17:42,677
No, I don't want
your mom hating me
393
00:17:42,679 --> 00:17:44,515
any more than she already does.
394
00:17:45,683 --> 00:17:46,682
Whatever, let's just go.
395
00:18:03,935 --> 00:18:07,502
Dude, I mean, the fucking idiot
was parked on the curb.
396
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:08,636
That's fucking illegal, okay?
397
00:18:08,638 --> 00:18:09,738
There's...
No wonder I would've...
398
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,674
I would have fucking
hit it if I was sober.
399
00:18:12,676 --> 00:18:14,876
Dumbass drug dealer.
He's a fucking drug dealer.
400
00:18:14,878 --> 00:18:17,546
I didn't tell you that,
he's a fucking drug dealer.
401
00:18:17,548 --> 00:18:19,781
And he makes me feel
like I'm the bad guy.
402
00:18:19,783 --> 00:18:20,951
It's ridiculous.
403
00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:23,485
Dude, every...
404
00:18:23,487 --> 00:18:24,653
what are you fucking doing?
405
00:18:24,655 --> 00:18:25,753
- Hey.
- Huh?
406
00:18:25,755 --> 00:18:26,891
What are you doing?
407
00:18:27,824 --> 00:18:30,225
I'm posting a video
on my Snap story.
408
00:18:30,227 --> 00:18:31,226
Dude, don't do that, man.
409
00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:32,994
That's just a fucking tool
the government uses
410
00:18:32,996 --> 00:18:34,696
to constantly survey us.
411
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:37,700
Little camera on the front?
It's not just for selfies.
412
00:18:37,702 --> 00:18:39,768
Delete the app, okay?
413
00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:41,703
I can't dude,
I'm already addicted.
414
00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:43,505
Plus, my pledge bros and I
are trying to streak a hundred.
415
00:18:43,507 --> 00:18:44,839
We're super-close.
416
00:18:44,841 --> 00:18:45,910
Pledge bros?
417
00:18:47,078 --> 00:18:49,578
Yeah, pledge bros, they're
the guys that you pledge with
418
00:18:49,580 --> 00:18:50,782
before you get initiated.
419
00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:53,551
It's a fraternity thing,
it's hard to explain.
420
00:18:54,284 --> 00:18:57,685
Yeah, dude, sounds
super bro-ey and awesome.
421
00:18:58,955 --> 00:19:00,055
When are you going
to invite me up, man?
422
00:19:00,057 --> 00:19:02,524
- I wanna meet these pledge bros.
- I will, man.
423
00:19:02,526 --> 00:19:03,893
Uh...
424
00:19:03,895 --> 00:19:04,996
When?
425
00:19:06,664 --> 00:19:08,297
Soon, man, I'm...
426
00:19:08,299 --> 00:19:09,868
I just been
like crazy busy, you know?
427
00:19:11,601 --> 00:19:12,835
How are the girls?
428
00:19:12,837 --> 00:19:14,669
- Super hot.
- Fuck.
429
00:19:14,671 --> 00:19:16,739
Do you remember Machelle Lone
from high school?
430
00:19:16,741 --> 00:19:17,705
- Yeah.
431
00:19:17,707 --> 00:19:18,776
Me and her are kind of dating.
432
00:19:20,677 --> 00:19:21,876
What? Really?
433
00:19:21,878 --> 00:19:22,746
Yeah.
434
00:19:24,849 --> 00:19:25,982
That's...
435
00:19:25,984 --> 00:19:27,816
I didn't even know you guys
went to the same school.
436
00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:28,951
She's your girlfriend?
437
00:19:28,953 --> 00:19:32,691
I don't know if you'd say
boyfriend-girlfriend, but...
438
00:19:33,623 --> 00:19:35,290
Yeah, I mean, no,
she's my girlfriend.
439
00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:36,992
Yeah, she's my girlfriend
for sure.
440
00:19:36,994 --> 00:19:38,594
Why?
441
00:19:38,596 --> 00:19:39,529
What do you mean why?
442
00:19:39,531 --> 00:19:41,030
Why would you have
a girlfriend in college?
443
00:19:41,032 --> 00:19:42,798
That's like...
444
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,069
It's a rookie mistake,
my friend.
445
00:19:44,901 --> 00:19:46,335
Well, fuck, dude,
I thought you'd be stoked.
446
00:19:46,337 --> 00:19:48,037
Machelle was really cool
in high school.
447
00:19:48,039 --> 00:19:50,039
Dude, hookah bars were cool
in the high school, man.
448
00:19:50,041 --> 00:19:52,010
But you don't see us
doing that shit anymore.
449
00:19:53,811 --> 00:19:55,677
Come on, you're never thinking
about all the girls
450
00:19:55,679 --> 00:19:57,916
you could be getting down with
at these frat parties?
451
00:19:58,782 --> 00:19:59,848
I mean, not really,
to be honest, dude.
452
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:02,521
Like, she's
pretty fucking cute.
453
00:20:03,353 --> 00:20:04,486
Let me ask you something.
454
00:20:04,488 --> 00:20:07,021
Do you have any specific
memories of brushing your teeth?
455
00:20:07,023 --> 00:20:07,889
Of brushing my teeth?
456
00:20:07,891 --> 00:20:09,157
Brushing
your fucking teeth.
457
00:20:09,159 --> 00:20:12,094
Yeah, I have plenty of memories
of brushing my teeth, Alec.
458
00:20:12,096 --> 00:20:14,629
No, I'm talking
about one specific memory
459
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,100
of brushing your teeth.
Can you think of one?
460
00:20:17,033 --> 00:20:18,770
- I don't know, I guess not.
- Exactly.
461
00:20:19,637 --> 00:20:21,669
Because it's something
you do every day.
462
00:20:21,671 --> 00:20:22,771
Your brain gets so used to it
463
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:25,674
that it doesn't make
any new memories from it, right?
464
00:20:25,676 --> 00:20:26,809
- Right.
- Okay.
465
00:20:26,811 --> 00:20:30,011
So, therefore, having sex
with the same girl every day
466
00:20:30,013 --> 00:20:31,680
over and over and over again
467
00:20:31,682 --> 00:20:33,318
isn't gonna make
any new memories either,
468
00:20:34,349 --> 00:20:34,817
and you're gonna regret it
when you're old
469
00:20:34,819 --> 00:20:36,087
that you didn't
take advantage of being young.
470
00:20:37,053 --> 00:20:39,687
Change is a good thing, my man.
471
00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,790
You can't make every day
become the same cycle,
472
00:20:41,792 --> 00:20:42,994
or it's all
gonna be forgotten.
473
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:46,060
Unless you save it all
on your Snap story.
474
00:20:46,062 --> 00:20:47,829
Right, just like every other
fucking retard
475
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,732
in our generation.
476
00:20:51,135 --> 00:20:53,101
So where are we going?
What are we doing right now?
477
00:20:54,405 --> 00:20:55,874
We're going to smoke.
478
00:20:57,875 --> 00:20:58,907
You can if you want, man.
479
00:20:58,909 --> 00:21:00,776
I haven't really been smoking
that much lately.
480
00:21:00,778 --> 00:21:02,845
Well, that's too bad
'cause I just bought an eighth
481
00:21:02,847 --> 00:21:05,013
of the dankest weed
I've ever smoked in my life.
482
00:21:06,850 --> 00:21:07,649
Dude, what are you doing
buying weed
483
00:21:07,651 --> 00:21:08,651
when you owe
your neighbor money?
484
00:21:08,653 --> 00:21:10,418
Oh don't worry, man.
I'm gonna pay him back.
485
00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:11,753
I just thought that,
you know,
486
00:21:11,755 --> 00:21:12,954
we can fucking
get high together.
487
00:21:12,956 --> 00:21:13,989
I haven't seen you
in months, dude.
488
00:21:13,991 --> 00:21:15,193
This is going to be fun.
489
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,127
What kind of weed is it?
490
00:21:19,129 --> 00:21:20,665
Oh, I don't know.
Let me check, man.
491
00:21:21,398 --> 00:21:24,133
Purple Mountain Donkey Cock.
492
00:21:25,436 --> 00:21:26,868
What, dude?
493
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,436
No, I don't fucking know
what it's called.
494
00:21:28,438 --> 00:21:30,105
It's just smokey, come on.
495
00:21:30,107 --> 00:21:31,040
Come on, dude.
496
00:21:31,042 --> 00:21:33,078
All right, all right, fine,
fine, fuck.
497
00:21:34,911 --> 00:21:36,779
We're going to the spot?
498
00:21:36,781 --> 00:21:38,180
Oh, yeah.
499
00:21:38,182 --> 00:21:39,918
we're going to the spot.
500
00:21:45,022 --> 00:21:47,188
Dude, I forgot
how sketchy this spot is, man.
501
00:21:47,190 --> 00:21:48,757
What are you talking
about, man?
502
00:21:48,759 --> 00:21:49,457
This is great.
503
00:21:49,459 --> 00:21:50,559
There's joggers everywhere.
504
00:21:50,561 --> 00:21:52,961
Look at this fucking view, dude.
This is ridiculous.
505
00:21:52,963 --> 00:21:54,730
Where are you gonna find
a view like this?
506
00:21:54,732 --> 00:21:56,898
You know, I used
to fuck Kelly here,
507
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:59,233
like, all the time
in high school.
508
00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,739
No, no, no, Bridget.
That was Bridget.
509
00:22:02,907 --> 00:22:03,975
No...
510
00:22:05,208 --> 00:22:06,841
Yeah, that was Kelly.
511
00:22:06,843 --> 00:22:07,745
Right here.
512
00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:13,014
Dude, what the fuck?
You're barely lighting it.
513
00:22:13,016 --> 00:22:14,753
Come on, get big
and snap the bowl.
514
00:22:16,454 --> 00:22:18,052
There you go.
515
00:22:18,054 --> 00:22:19,855
Wow.
516
00:22:19,857 --> 00:22:20,889
That's a big boy.
517
00:22:20,891 --> 00:22:22,491
That's big boy move.
518
00:22:22,493 --> 00:22:23,559
Oh fuck, dude, fuck.
519
00:22:23,561 --> 00:22:25,927
Put that shit down.
Put it down, put it down.
520
00:22:25,929 --> 00:22:27,995
Oh, no.
Okay, swallow it.
521
00:22:27,997 --> 00:22:30,965
Dude, look at me right now.
Fucking swallow the smoke, dude.
522
00:22:30,967 --> 00:22:32,670
I can't have smoke in this car.
523
00:22:34,071 --> 00:22:36,105
Oh no.
524
00:22:36,107 --> 00:22:38,072
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
525
00:22:38,074 --> 00:22:40,075
Listen, man, you really
shouldn't have smoked in here.
526
00:22:40,077 --> 00:22:41,109
What?
527
00:22:41,111 --> 00:22:42,211
Give me the fucking bowl.
Give it to me give me.
528
00:22:42,213 --> 00:22:43,848
Shit.
529
00:22:44,514 --> 00:22:46,280
Give me the lighter, too.
Give me the lighter, hurry.
530
00:22:46,282 --> 00:22:47,915
All right.
531
00:22:47,917 --> 00:22:49,184
Oh, God, no.
532
00:22:49,186 --> 00:22:50,955
Shh.
533
00:22:57,261 --> 00:22:59,228
All right, we should be good.
We should be good.
534
00:22:59,230 --> 00:23:01,129
Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.
535
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:01,963
All right, just let me do
all the talking.
536
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:02,732
Just let me do
all talking.
537
00:23:02,734 --> 00:23:04,066
- Oh, shit.
- We'll be fine.
538
00:23:04,068 --> 00:23:05,501
Oh, shit.
539
00:23:05,503 --> 00:23:06,801
Oh, shit.
540
00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:07,837
He is coming, man.
541
00:23:07,839 --> 00:23:08,971
Fucking get your head
in the game, all right?
542
00:23:08,973 --> 00:23:10,172
Let me do the talking.
543
00:23:10,174 --> 00:23:11,242
Let me do the talking.
544
00:23:14,078 --> 00:23:16,145
Hey there, officer,
how's it going?
545
00:23:16,147 --> 00:23:18,012
It's illegal to park a car here.
546
00:23:18,014 --> 00:23:19,248
You guys are going
to have to move.
547
00:23:19,250 --> 00:23:21,082
Okay, I'm sorry,
I didn't know that.
548
00:23:21,084 --> 00:23:22,986
We'll get out of your hair.
549
00:23:24,988 --> 00:23:26,725
Why are his eyes so red?
550
00:23:28,826 --> 00:23:29,791
Oh...
551
00:23:29,793 --> 00:23:31,159
Uh...
552
00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:32,961
He's in a frat.
553
00:23:32,963 --> 00:23:35,129
So they, like,
farted on his pillow
554
00:23:35,131 --> 00:23:36,898
'cause he's, like, pledging,
and so he got...
555
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:39,070
He got pinkeye
in both of his eyes.
556
00:23:41,138 --> 00:23:43,172
I smell marijuana in here.
557
00:23:43,174 --> 00:23:45,276
Will you boys mind stepping out
so I can search your vehicle?
558
00:23:46,176 --> 00:23:48,012
No, no, not at all.
559
00:24:06,597 --> 00:24:07,766
Fuck.
560
00:24:11,267 --> 00:24:12,336
You know what I should do?
561
00:24:14,170 --> 00:24:15,337
What?
562
00:24:15,339 --> 00:24:18,307
What I should do is write you
both up for misdemeanor
563
00:24:18,309 --> 00:24:20,244
for smoking cannabis
in a public area.
564
00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:24,114
But you know what?
565
00:24:25,148 --> 00:24:27,049
I was your age once, huh?
566
00:24:27,051 --> 00:24:28,184
I know how it is.
567
00:24:28,186 --> 00:24:31,089
Smoking a little weed
with your buddies, it's a blast.
568
00:24:32,188 --> 00:24:34,923
But sooner or later,
that weed you're smoking,
569
00:24:34,925 --> 00:24:36,992
it's gonna turn
into other things.
570
00:24:36,994 --> 00:24:40,130
Acid, powder, pills,
crystal, meth, crack.
571
00:24:42,198 --> 00:24:42,964
And before you know it,
572
00:24:42,966 --> 00:24:44,867
you're going down
on another man
573
00:24:44,869 --> 00:24:45,734
in a mall parking lot
574
00:24:45,736 --> 00:24:47,971
just to pay
for a dime bag of smack.
575
00:24:56,213 --> 00:24:59,080
Look, all I'm saying is,
576
00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:01,617
is be careful out there, huh?
577
00:25:01,619 --> 00:25:04,418
And don't do stupid stuff
in public areas.
578
00:25:04,420 --> 00:25:05,823
Yes, sir.
579
00:25:07,657 --> 00:25:09,327
Consider this your warning.
580
00:25:12,629 --> 00:25:14,098
Thank you.
581
00:25:21,038 --> 00:25:22,937
What the fuck just happened?
582
00:25:22,939 --> 00:25:26,076
Dude, I'm like 85% sure
that guy blew someone for drugs.
583
00:25:27,343 --> 00:25:28,976
Definitely.
584
00:25:28,978 --> 00:25:31,048
- What the fuck?
- It's fucked up, man.
585
00:25:35,349 --> 00:25:36,385
Shit.
586
00:25:36,387 --> 00:25:38,923
I'll definitely die
if I go and get it, huh?
587
00:25:39,657 --> 00:25:41,960
- Yeah, you'll for sure die.
- Yeah.
588
00:25:42,693 --> 00:25:44,061
Fuck, man.
589
00:25:45,128 --> 00:25:46,430
I'm not going to Kahji's wedding
without any weed.
590
00:25:47,697 --> 00:25:49,431
We'll just pick up some more.
I'll pay for it, I don't care.
591
00:25:49,433 --> 00:25:51,332
Dude, the guy I get it from
is in Seattle,
592
00:25:51,334 --> 00:25:53,071
so that can't happen.
593
00:25:54,071 --> 00:25:55,974
Dude, there has to be someone
we know who can get us weed.
594
00:25:58,375 --> 00:26:01,676
Oh, shit, dude, there is.
Ernie Wolf.
595
00:26:01,678 --> 00:26:03,915
He lives around here.
He's got a marijuana card.
596
00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:07,415
Dude, I fucking hate Ernie Wolf.
597
00:26:07,417 --> 00:26:10,051
Yeah, he's a tool,
but we kind of don't have
598
00:26:10,053 --> 00:26:11,488
any other options, do we?
599
00:26:12,956 --> 00:26:14,024
Should I call him?
600
00:26:14,692 --> 00:26:16,327
- Yeah, go ahead.
- All right.
601
00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:35,042
[I don't know how to say it.
602
00:26:41,251 --> 00:26:42,984
Holy shit,
look at that thing, man.
603
00:26:42,986 --> 00:26:44,219
You think
he'd let us drive it?
604
00:26:44,221 --> 00:26:45,988
There's no way
he'll let us drive it.
605
00:26:49,459 --> 00:26:50,626
All right.
606
00:26:50,628 --> 00:26:53,361
Hey, you know what? Let's just
buy weed from him and go.
607
00:26:53,363 --> 00:26:55,163
We don't have to be here
for too long if we do that.
608
00:26:55,165 --> 00:26:56,732
What are you talking about, man?
This was the plan.
609
00:26:56,734 --> 00:26:58,466
We were gonna come here,
smoke with him and leave.
610
00:26:58,468 --> 00:26:59,167
I don't want to be here
for too long.
611
00:26:59,169 --> 00:27:00,469
He doesn't need fucking money.
612
00:27:00,471 --> 00:27:01,736
We don't have
to buy weed from him.
613
00:27:01,738 --> 00:27:03,206
The guy's loaded.
614
00:27:03,741 --> 00:27:04,740
Come on, let's just do it.
615
00:27:04,742 --> 00:27:07,209
Maybe he's matured
since high school, you know?
616
00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:08,413
Stop judging people.
617
00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:11,213
- Who the fuck is it?
- Dude.
618
00:27:15,084 --> 00:27:17,051
Guys, it's me, man.
619
00:27:17,053 --> 00:27:17,786
Relax.
620
00:27:17,788 --> 00:27:19,754
Hey, it' not even loaded.
621
00:27:19,756 --> 00:27:21,490
Relax.
622
00:27:21,492 --> 00:27:23,759
You should've seen
your fucking face.
623
00:27:23,761 --> 00:27:25,159
What's up, bro?
624
00:27:25,161 --> 00:27:26,560
How you doing, huh?
625
00:27:26,562 --> 00:27:28,496
Good.
626
00:27:28,498 --> 00:27:30,132
Oh, come in.
627
00:27:30,134 --> 00:27:31,165
Come in, come in, come in.
628
00:27:31,167 --> 00:27:33,100
Nate, hurry up, come on.
629
00:27:34,204 --> 00:27:36,504
That was fucking funny.
630
00:27:36,506 --> 00:27:37,639
Are you fucking kidding me?
631
00:27:37,641 --> 00:27:40,207
No, we're good, we're good.
He... He gave me a hug.
632
00:27:40,209 --> 00:27:41,143
It's not loaded.
633
00:27:44,580 --> 00:27:46,248
In and out.
634
00:27:46,250 --> 00:27:47,049
It's not fucking funny, dude.
635
00:27:47,051 --> 00:27:48,282
- No, no...
- Come on, guys.
636
00:27:48,284 --> 00:27:49,353
I really hurt myself.
637
00:27:50,219 --> 00:27:52,122
Ooh!
638
00:27:54,558 --> 00:27:57,125
So what've you guys
been up to?
639
00:27:57,127 --> 00:27:59,360
You know, man, just the same
old shit, just chilling.
640
00:27:59,362 --> 00:28:00,595
Cool man.
641
00:28:00,597 --> 00:28:02,063
Cool.
642
00:28:02,065 --> 00:28:04,398
How's the pussy at school, Nate?
643
00:28:05,401 --> 00:28:07,101
Uh, yeah.
644
00:28:07,103 --> 00:28:09,136
Pussy is good, man, it's good.
645
00:28:09,138 --> 00:28:12,406
I bet those the sorority chicks
are so fucking hot down there.
646
00:28:12,408 --> 00:28:14,509
Is it just totally insane,
or what?
647
00:28:14,511 --> 00:28:16,544
Yeah, it's pretty insane,
yeah.
648
00:28:16,546 --> 00:28:19,114
Fuck, fuck.
649
00:28:19,116 --> 00:28:20,816
You lucky motherfucker.
650
00:28:20,818 --> 00:28:22,520
I wanna live vicariously
through your dick.
651
00:28:25,222 --> 00:28:26,257
I do.
652
00:28:29,292 --> 00:28:30,561
So what are you guys
doing today, huh?
653
00:28:31,762 --> 00:28:36,164
Well, Kahji from high school
is getting fucking married,
654
00:28:36,166 --> 00:28:37,264
so we're gonna go
to his wedding.
655
00:28:37,266 --> 00:28:38,399
- What?
- Yeah.
656
00:28:38,401 --> 00:28:40,367
- No way.
- Yeah.
657
00:28:40,369 --> 00:28:43,238
Kahji, that motherfucker
is getting married?
658
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,373
Jesus.
659
00:28:44,375 --> 00:28:46,640
Shit, I fucking thought
that he would die a virgin.
660
00:28:46,642 --> 00:28:49,543
Yeah me too, man.
He probably still will.
661
00:28:49,545 --> 00:28:51,312
Such a fucking loser.
662
00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:52,547
No!
663
00:28:52,549 --> 00:28:54,215
He was such a fucking bitch!
664
00:28:56,186 --> 00:28:57,284
Such a bitch.
665
00:28:57,286 --> 00:28:58,252
Right?
666
00:28:58,254 --> 00:28:59,421
Yeah, I mean,
the only reason we're going
667
00:28:59,423 --> 00:29:00,588
is just because apparently
it's gonna be his first kiss,
668
00:29:00,590 --> 00:29:04,859
and we just thought it'd be
funny to see high as fuck.
669
00:29:04,861 --> 00:29:06,360
Fucking smart.
670
00:29:06,362 --> 00:29:07,631
It's fucking genius.
671
00:29:08,498 --> 00:29:10,866
And I can help you out
with that, all right?
672
00:29:10,868 --> 00:29:12,367
Be right back.
673
00:29:19,243 --> 00:29:21,579
Dude, is this fucking cocaine?
674
00:29:23,179 --> 00:29:24,646
Look.
675
00:29:24,648 --> 00:29:26,149
Hmm.
676
00:29:31,522 --> 00:29:33,224
Yeah, that's definitely cocaine.
677
00:29:36,225 --> 00:29:38,361
Check this shit out,
boys.
678
00:29:39,362 --> 00:29:40,529
Holy fucking shit, dude.
679
00:29:41,465 --> 00:29:43,565
I call her Dank Sinatra.
680
00:29:43,567 --> 00:29:45,399
All right, well,
you got me all excited, man.
681
00:29:45,401 --> 00:29:47,501
Let's fucking do it
and smoke it, right?
682
00:29:47,503 --> 00:29:48,403
All right.
683
00:29:48,405 --> 00:29:50,241
I'll call it in right now.
684
00:29:53,577 --> 00:29:55,242
You don't have any?
685
00:29:55,244 --> 00:29:57,546
No, no, no I use a...
I use a weed delivery service.
686
00:29:57,548 --> 00:29:59,446
You can have it delivered
when you have a card.
687
00:29:59,448 --> 00:30:00,549
Shh-shh, shh-shh.
688
00:30:00,551 --> 00:30:01,817
Hi there.
689
00:30:01,819 --> 00:30:04,688
Uh, yes, I would like
to place for delivery, please.
690
00:30:05,656 --> 00:30:07,521
Ernie Wolf.
691
00:30:07,523 --> 00:30:10,527
Give me a half ounce
of Dark Knight Kush.
692
00:30:11,395 --> 00:30:14,261
Yeah, just put it
on the card on file.
693
00:30:14,263 --> 00:30:16,133
Regular member.
694
00:30:17,533 --> 00:30:19,967
Okay, 50 minutes.
695
00:30:19,969 --> 00:30:21,569
Perfect.
696
00:30:21,571 --> 00:30:23,204
Perfect.
697
00:30:23,206 --> 00:30:25,507
Okay, bye.
698
00:30:25,509 --> 00:30:28,276
Drugs are on the way, boys.
699
00:30:28,278 --> 00:30:29,610
There you go.
700
00:30:29,612 --> 00:30:31,413
You hungry?
701
00:30:31,415 --> 00:30:32,681
Want some food?
702
00:30:32,683 --> 00:30:34,449
I got pretzels and shit.
703
00:30:34,451 --> 00:30:36,550
Snacks?
I have Gushers. Huh?
704
00:30:36,552 --> 00:30:38,686
I think we're good, man.
705
00:30:41,625 --> 00:30:43,558
- Fifty minutes?
- Come on, they'll fly by.
706
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,696
- Fifty minutes?
- Just relax, just relax.
707
00:30:47,965 --> 00:30:50,365
So...
708
00:30:50,367 --> 00:30:52,436
Boys...
709
00:30:55,371 --> 00:30:57,475
Before you got here...
710
00:30:58,975 --> 00:31:01,309
I took the liberty
of inviting over some company,
711
00:31:01,311 --> 00:31:02,610
which...
712
00:31:02,612 --> 00:31:04,613
I think you both
will enjoy very much.
713
00:31:04,615 --> 00:31:06,580
Uh-oh, some ladies?
714
00:31:06,582 --> 00:31:10,318
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes, dude, yes. Right?
715
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:12,419
What's the scoop on them?
Do we know them, or they...
716
00:31:12,421 --> 00:31:13,687
Did they go to high school
with us or?
717
00:31:13,689 --> 00:31:15,456
No.
718
00:31:15,458 --> 00:31:19,563
You guys ever been
on Cityscape Top Biz?
719
00:31:22,331 --> 00:31:23,598
- Uh...
- No.
720
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:24,799
- No.
- Dude, check this shit out.
721
00:31:24,801 --> 00:31:26,637
Check this shit out.
722
00:31:27,404 --> 00:31:29,404
Look, this is
some high-end shit, all right?
723
00:31:29,406 --> 00:31:31,209
These chicks are totally shaved.
724
00:31:32,009 --> 00:31:33,742
She sat on my face last week.
725
00:31:33,744 --> 00:31:36,478
I swear to God, 4 p.m. Tuesday,
726
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:39,383
this couch right there
where you're sitting.
727
00:31:42,051 --> 00:31:44,254
Anyway, I ordered two
about an hour ago.
728
00:31:45,421 --> 00:31:46,323
Uh...
729
00:31:47,623 --> 00:31:49,357
- Ordered?
- Yeah.
730
00:31:49,359 --> 00:31:51,725
Sandy and Heather.
731
00:31:51,727 --> 00:31:53,528
I mean, that's probably
not even their real name,
732
00:31:53,530 --> 00:31:55,499
but who gives a fuck, you know?
733
00:31:56,433 --> 00:31:57,768
Dude, you ordered
prostitutes?
734
00:31:58,769 --> 00:32:00,702
No.
735
00:32:00,704 --> 00:32:01,435
No, well...
736
00:32:01,437 --> 00:32:05,373
No, technically,
they're escorts.
737
00:32:05,375 --> 00:32:07,645
You pay them to hang out,
they don't have to fuck you.
738
00:32:09,545 --> 00:32:11,378
But they do!
739
00:32:11,380 --> 00:32:12,446
You can do
anything you want to them.
740
00:32:12,448 --> 00:32:13,717
It's fucking awesome.
741
00:32:15,851 --> 00:32:17,685
Oh, shit, what time is it?
742
00:32:17,687 --> 00:32:19,087
Oh, they're gonna be here
soon.
743
00:32:19,089 --> 00:32:21,423
All right, yo, I'm gonna shave
my pubes, all right?
744
00:32:21,425 --> 00:32:23,357
There's beer in the fridge.
Help yourself.
745
00:32:23,359 --> 00:32:24,725
Help yourself, all right?
746
00:32:24,727 --> 00:32:27,428
Get ready to party,
they're gonna be here soon.
747
00:32:27,430 --> 00:32:28,532
Hmm.
748
00:32:30,067 --> 00:32:31,335
Oh, shit!
749
00:32:32,535 --> 00:32:34,772
Dude, that guy is fucking crazy.
750
00:32:45,415 --> 00:32:46,780
Yo...
751
00:32:46,782 --> 00:32:48,082
Let's get the fuck out here.
752
00:32:48,084 --> 00:32:48,983
What dude, why?
753
00:32:48,985 --> 00:32:50,019
We haven't even
smoked this thing yet.
754
00:32:50,021 --> 00:32:51,020
I don't wanna be here
for the prostitutes, dude.
755
00:32:51,022 --> 00:32:52,820
This is gonna be...
This is gonna be too weird.
756
00:32:52,822 --> 00:32:54,388
You don't have to fuck them.
757
00:32:54,390 --> 00:32:55,523
It'll be fine.
He even said so.
758
00:32:55,525 --> 00:32:58,092
I don't wanna sit here
while you and Ernie do, okay?
759
00:32:58,094 --> 00:32:59,761
I'm not gonna fuck
any prostitutes.
760
00:32:59,763 --> 00:33:02,696
Alec, this guy's coked out
in the middle of the day.
761
00:33:02,698 --> 00:33:04,465
He's fucking nuts.
762
00:33:04,467 --> 00:33:05,569
So?
763
00:33:06,469 --> 00:33:07,370
Oh, shit.
764
00:33:08,437 --> 00:33:11,839
You guys stay seated, I got it.
765
00:33:11,841 --> 00:33:13,841
Oh, shit. Dude, let's go.
Let's just go.
766
00:33:13,843 --> 00:33:15,542
It's too late, man.
We are in this.
767
00:33:15,544 --> 00:33:16,778
- Let's just go.
- We are in this man.
768
00:33:16,780 --> 00:33:18,746
Hang on tight.
769
00:33:18,748 --> 00:33:20,482
All right, great.
770
00:33:20,484 --> 00:33:21,886
Cool, this is happening, okay.
771
00:33:24,821 --> 00:33:28,589
Guys, this is Sandy,
and this is Heather.
772
00:33:28,591 --> 00:33:31,658
Ladies,
this is Nate and Alec.
773
00:33:31,660 --> 00:33:32,796
Hi, guys.
774
00:33:36,832 --> 00:33:38,665
Sit down.
775
00:33:38,667 --> 00:33:41,603
Oh, my god,
it is so hot outside.
776
00:33:41,605 --> 00:33:43,738
I know.
And it's not even summer yet.
777
00:33:43,740 --> 00:33:46,508
Wait, wait.
You know why that is, right?
778
00:33:46,510 --> 00:33:47,778
Global warming.
779
00:33:49,146 --> 00:33:50,412
Definitely.
780
00:33:50,414 --> 00:33:51,415
Scary shit.
781
00:33:52,682 --> 00:33:53,748
I mean, I don't know
the science of it all,
782
00:33:53,750 --> 00:33:56,617
but apparently
we are all fucked.
783
00:33:56,619 --> 00:33:57,754
Hmm.
784
00:33:58,522 --> 00:33:59,623
Yeah.
785
00:34:05,161 --> 00:34:06,761
Well, I'm gonna use
the restroom.
786
00:34:06,763 --> 00:34:08,896
Ernie, do you mind?
787
00:34:08,898 --> 00:34:12,599
Yeah, use mine.
Down at the end of the hall.
788
00:34:12,601 --> 00:34:13,701
Thanks, man.
789
00:34:13,703 --> 00:34:15,740
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
790
00:34:16,505 --> 00:34:19,706
Oh, my God, I love your vest.
791
00:34:19,708 --> 00:34:20,945
Oh, no, it's...
792
00:34:22,545 --> 00:34:24,514
It's a...
It's a stupid vest.
793
00:34:25,215 --> 00:34:27,917
Oh, man, I feel
really lonely over here.
794
00:34:28,651 --> 00:34:30,388
I wanna come join you, guys.
795
00:34:56,980 --> 00:34:58,980
It's hard
796
00:34:58,982 --> 00:35:00,681
to get to know somebody
when you're sitting
797
00:35:00,683 --> 00:35:02,683
from a distance like that,
you know?
798
00:35:02,685 --> 00:35:04,552
Hmm, yeah.
799
00:35:04,554 --> 00:35:06,624
Now we can get to know
each other even...
800
00:35:07,223 --> 00:35:08,255
...better.
801
00:35:08,257 --> 00:35:09,224
Yeah?
802
00:35:10,826 --> 00:35:11,728
What do you think, Nate?
803
00:35:12,628 --> 00:35:15,433
Should we get to know
each other better?
804
00:35:17,734 --> 00:35:19,502
Uh...
805
00:35:20,770 --> 00:35:22,005
I don't know.
806
00:35:27,978 --> 00:35:29,980
This fucking guy.
807
00:35:30,947 --> 00:35:33,715
You know,
I think connections are
808
00:35:33,717 --> 00:35:37,018
the most important thing
in life.
809
00:35:37,020 --> 00:35:38,520
- Hmm.
- You know?
810
00:35:38,522 --> 00:35:39,454
It's the reason
we're all here.
811
00:35:39,456 --> 00:35:40,991
It's the reason
we all do what we do...
812
00:35:43,259 --> 00:35:45,527
...even if it's just physical.
813
00:35:45,529 --> 00:35:46,063
Do you agree?
814
00:35:47,531 --> 00:35:49,699
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
815
00:35:54,571 --> 00:35:55,637
Okay.
816
00:36:02,978 --> 00:36:04,679
You know, Nate,
my mom just called.
817
00:36:04,681 --> 00:36:07,315
The dog got out again, so we
gotta go help her find it.
818
00:36:07,317 --> 00:36:08,683
Oh, shit. Uh...
819
00:36:08,685 --> 00:36:09,786
Yeah.
820
00:36:11,020 --> 00:36:12,719
We should definitely
go help her right now, right?
821
00:36:12,721 --> 00:36:13,587
What the fuck?
822
00:36:13,589 --> 00:36:15,956
Heather, it was so nice
to meet you.
823
00:36:15,958 --> 00:36:17,759
And it was...
824
00:36:17,761 --> 00:36:18,960
- Sassy?
- Sandy.
825
00:36:18,962 --> 00:36:20,962
Sandy, it was so nice
to meet you, too.
826
00:36:20,964 --> 00:36:23,598
Ernie, good to see you again,
buddy.
827
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:24,766
Thanks for having us
over, man.
828
00:36:24,768 --> 00:36:25,900
What, you're leaving?
829
00:36:25,902 --> 00:36:27,034
Yeah.
830
00:36:27,036 --> 00:36:28,036
Well, we gotta go find the dog
831
00:36:28,038 --> 00:36:29,971
before the kill shelter
does the fucking...
832
00:36:29,973 --> 00:36:30,840
you know, shoot the thing.
833
00:36:31,907 --> 00:36:34,608
So great to see you guys.
Thank you.
834
00:36:34,610 --> 00:36:36,880
- Dude, is that an actual boner?
- Shut the fuck up. Let's go.
835
00:36:44,955 --> 00:36:46,790
Do you still want to fuck?
836
00:36:49,058 --> 00:36:50,994
I mean, I guess.
837
00:36:54,730 --> 00:36:57,331
Holy fucking shit, dude,
that was fucking crazy man.
838
00:36:57,333 --> 00:36:58,366
Yeah.
839
00:36:58,368 --> 00:36:59,900
Oh, my God.
Thank you for saving me, dude.
840
00:36:59,902 --> 00:37:00,969
Dude, no problem.
841
00:37:00,971 --> 00:37:03,804
Dude, those girls were actually,
like, kind of hot.
842
00:37:03,806 --> 00:37:05,609
Yeah, man, they're okay.
843
00:37:06,810 --> 00:37:08,545
Dude, the one sitting next to me
was like...
844
00:37:09,645 --> 00:37:12,346
She was ready to go, dude,
like, her hand was like...
845
00:37:12,348 --> 00:37:13,815
It wasn't touching my dick,
but, dude,
846
00:37:13,817 --> 00:37:15,953
it was, like, really fucking
close to my dick.
847
00:37:17,853 --> 00:37:18,953
Dude, you're
pretty fucking giddy
848
00:37:18,955 --> 00:37:20,688
for how terrified you were
back there.
849
00:37:20,690 --> 00:37:21,855
Can we go back?
850
00:37:21,857 --> 00:37:22,857
Can you just drop me off?
851
00:37:22,859 --> 00:37:24,692
Still got a boner?
852
00:37:24,694 --> 00:37:26,694
You do.
853
00:37:26,696 --> 00:37:28,096
Let me see it.
854
00:37:28,098 --> 00:37:30,063
Dude, can you drop me...
855
00:37:30,065 --> 00:37:31,366
Dude, drop me off, man.
856
00:37:34,136 --> 00:37:36,670
All the Mexican food
in my school sucks, dude.
857
00:37:36,672 --> 00:37:37,838
I'm not defensive about anything
858
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:40,375
about our hometown at all,
like, fuck our football teams,
859
00:37:40,377 --> 00:37:41,875
fuck our baseball teams,
I don't give a shit,
860
00:37:41,877 --> 00:37:43,844
but we have
the best Mexican food.
861
00:37:43,846 --> 00:37:44,779
- For sure.
- Hello.
862
00:37:44,781 --> 00:37:46,648
My name is Linda,
I'll be your server today.
863
00:37:46,650 --> 00:37:48,382
Can I get you guys started
with something to drink?
864
00:37:48,384 --> 00:37:49,817
Splendid.
865
00:37:49,819 --> 00:37:51,085
Uh...
866
00:37:51,087 --> 00:37:54,721
Let's go with the Casanova IPA.
Let's get a little weird, right?
867
00:37:54,723 --> 00:37:55,857
Okay.
868
00:37:55,859 --> 00:37:57,692
Can I see some ID?
869
00:37:57,694 --> 00:37:58,728
Yeah.
870
00:38:02,031 --> 00:38:03,130
All right, Linda,
here's the deal.
871
00:38:03,132 --> 00:38:04,732
I'm not actually 21,
872
00:38:04,734 --> 00:38:06,933
I'm 19, but I just
ordered the Casanova
873
00:38:06,935 --> 00:38:09,070
because I know that it would
really complement
874
00:38:09,072 --> 00:38:10,871
the meal I'm about to order.
875
00:38:10,873 --> 00:38:12,873
And if allowed
such a privilege,
876
00:38:12,875 --> 00:38:13,741
I will make sure that you see
877
00:38:13,743 --> 00:38:15,976
a very generous tip
coming your way.
878
00:38:15,978 --> 00:38:17,811
If you're not 21,
you have to get something else.
879
00:38:17,813 --> 00:38:19,746
I understand that,
I understand that.
880
00:38:19,748 --> 00:38:20,614
And you know what?
881
00:38:20,616 --> 00:38:21,416
I don't wanna make you
uncomfortable
882
00:38:21,418 --> 00:38:22,219
in your place of work.
883
00:38:25,755 --> 00:38:28,021
But if we can both look
at this situation realistically,
884
00:38:28,023 --> 00:38:29,056
all right?
885
00:38:29,058 --> 00:38:30,157
College students
such as me and my friend here
886
00:38:30,159 --> 00:38:31,692
drink on average
887
00:38:31,694 --> 00:38:34,764
twice as much as an actual adult
on a weekly basis.
888
00:38:35,764 --> 00:38:38,099
I only have a few years
until I turn 21,
889
00:38:38,101 --> 00:38:39,433
and by then, I guarantee
890
00:38:39,435 --> 00:38:41,101
I'll be no more mature
than I am right now.
891
00:38:41,103 --> 00:38:42,904
I also understand
it's a liability for you
892
00:38:42,906 --> 00:38:44,905
allowing us to drink, right?
893
00:38:44,907 --> 00:38:48,241
But the fact is our tolerance
is so ridiculously high
894
00:38:48,243 --> 00:38:51,712
from the gargantuan amounts
of alcohol we consume weekly,
895
00:38:51,714 --> 00:38:54,047
I don't think it would affect
our blood alcohol content
896
00:38:54,049 --> 00:38:55,183
even a little bit.
897
00:38:55,185 --> 00:38:56,951
So it's really
a win-win here.
898
00:38:56,953 --> 00:38:58,085
It's kind of a no-brainer,
right?
899
00:38:58,087 --> 00:38:59,987
The business you work for
is going to make more money,
900
00:38:59,989 --> 00:39:02,190
I will enjoy my dining
experience that much more,
901
00:39:02,192 --> 00:39:05,759
and you personally will receive
a fatty tip coming your way.
902
00:39:05,761 --> 00:39:07,196
What do you say, Linda?
Let's get it going.
903
00:39:12,268 --> 00:39:13,768
ID, please.
904
00:39:13,770 --> 00:39:15,203
All right.
905
00:39:15,205 --> 00:39:17,107
I like where this is going.
906
00:39:19,808 --> 00:39:21,911
Okay, one IPA.
907
00:39:23,078 --> 00:39:24,180
You?
908
00:39:28,217 --> 00:39:30,751
Uh...
909
00:39:30,753 --> 00:39:32,786
I also think that a beer
would really complement...
910
00:39:32,788 --> 00:39:34,757
- Just give me your ID.
- Okay.
911
00:39:36,292 --> 00:39:37,994
Cool.
912
00:39:41,230 --> 00:39:43,029
- Your beers.
- Thank you very much.
913
00:39:43,031 --> 00:39:44,297
You ready to order?
914
00:39:44,299 --> 00:39:46,867
Yes, we're gonna get two
California burritos, please.
915
00:39:46,869 --> 00:39:48,503
Okay. That it?
916
00:39:48,505 --> 00:39:49,337
- Yes.
- Okay.
917
00:39:49,339 --> 00:39:51,172
- Thank you.
- Yep. I'll grab those.
918
00:39:51,174 --> 00:39:52,909
Yeah, sure.
919
00:40:08,190 --> 00:40:09,123
Shh.
920
00:40:09,125 --> 00:40:11,328
- Okay, okay.
- I think I'm going to get...
921
00:40:16,065 --> 00:40:17,864
Dude, please don't take
a picture of your fucking beer.
922
00:40:17,866 --> 00:40:18,833
No, I wasn't.
923
00:40:18,835 --> 00:40:19,833
Yeah, sure you weren't.
924
00:40:19,835 --> 00:40:20,967
Fuck yeah, dude.
925
00:40:20,969 --> 00:40:22,270
All right, cheers, motherfucker.
926
00:40:22,272 --> 00:40:23,170
Cheers, buddy.
927
00:40:23,172 --> 00:40:24,774
To your mom.
928
00:40:32,214 --> 00:40:34,315
Oh, you won't finish that.
929
00:40:34,317 --> 00:40:36,786
You won't do it.
You're too much of a bitch.
930
00:40:37,853 --> 00:40:38,820
Wow.
931
00:40:38,822 --> 00:40:40,121
That's weird, dude, it's gone.
932
00:40:41,290 --> 00:40:42,255
Are you okay?
933
00:40:42,257 --> 00:40:43,590
I'm great, dude.
934
00:40:43,592 --> 00:40:45,358
- You don't look okay.
- That was much-needed.
935
00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,561
Oh, shit. Ooh.
936
00:40:48,563 --> 00:40:51,998
See that dark haired girl?
Just, like, keeps staring at me.
937
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,967
No shit.
Damn, they're all hot.
938
00:40:53,969 --> 00:40:54,936
Yeah, they are all hot.
939
00:40:54,938 --> 00:40:56,270
They're some solid beans.
940
00:40:56,272 --> 00:40:58,605
She's one of the cutest girls
I've ever seen.
941
00:40:58,607 --> 00:41:00,174
Interesting, man.
942
00:41:00,176 --> 00:41:02,175
Solid.
Good work, my friend.
943
00:41:02,177 --> 00:41:04,045
Listen, I was peeing,
I was getting some deep thoughts
944
00:41:04,047 --> 00:41:05,579
and I think
945
00:41:05,581 --> 00:41:07,882
Kahji's wedding
is a bad idea, man.
946
00:41:07,884 --> 00:41:09,317
We should just fucking bail.
We don't have any weed.
947
00:41:09,319 --> 00:41:10,585
I don't know
where we're gonna get
948
00:41:10,587 --> 00:41:11,853
any weed at this point.
949
00:41:11,855 --> 00:41:12,853
Pointless, right?
950
00:41:12,855 --> 00:41:14,322
We can just go sober.
Who cares?
951
00:41:14,324 --> 00:41:15,223
Yeah, fucking right, dude.
952
00:41:15,225 --> 00:41:16,991
I'm not going
to Kahji's wedding sober.
953
00:41:16,993 --> 00:41:18,391
That's the whole point
of going to Kahji's wedding,
954
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:19,626
it's to go not sober.
955
00:41:19,628 --> 00:41:20,661
Plus, I need to figure out
956
00:41:20,663 --> 00:41:22,262
how the fuck I'm going
to pay my neighbor back.
957
00:41:22,264 --> 00:41:24,065
It's a real issue at hand.
958
00:41:24,067 --> 00:41:25,199
Oh, hey, Linda.
959
00:41:25,201 --> 00:41:26,000
Yeah?
960
00:41:26,002 --> 00:41:27,634
Uh, I don't know
what came over me,
961
00:41:27,636 --> 00:41:30,938
but I would like another beer.
962
00:41:30,940 --> 00:41:32,340
No, you said you're only going
to order one.
963
00:41:32,342 --> 00:41:34,909
Linda, honey, I understand
your frustration, okay?
964
00:41:34,911 --> 00:41:37,177
I really do,
I've been there before.
965
00:41:37,179 --> 00:41:38,945
But I can go ask
your manager right now
966
00:41:38,947 --> 00:41:40,280
why I'm being denied service.
967
00:41:40,282 --> 00:41:42,148
I can do that.
968
00:41:42,150 --> 00:41:43,351
If he asked you,
you're gonna have to tell him
969
00:41:43,353 --> 00:41:45,353
we're under 21, and that's why,
970
00:41:45,355 --> 00:41:46,520
which would be awkward
because that would make you
971
00:41:46,522 --> 00:41:49,956
the waitress who illegally
and knowingly served minors
972
00:41:49,958 --> 00:41:52,061
alcohol after checking
both of their IDs.
973
00:41:52,895 --> 00:41:54,628
Doesn't look too good
on your part.
974
00:41:54,630 --> 00:41:55,965
Actually, I hear
it's quite frowned upon.
975
00:41:57,232 --> 00:42:01,138
So if we could just do the right
thing for both of us, you know.
976
00:42:02,371 --> 00:42:04,304
You're a little extortionist.
977
00:42:04,306 --> 00:42:05,408
And you're punk.
978
00:42:08,110 --> 00:42:09,279
I'm a punk?
979
00:42:21,023 --> 00:42:22,359
Fuck, dude.
980
00:42:23,692 --> 00:42:25,326
Fucking bullshit.
981
00:42:25,328 --> 00:42:27,962
Hey, those girls are coming.
Put the cigarette out.
982
00:42:27,964 --> 00:42:29,396
- Quickly.
- All right, all right.
983
00:42:34,670 --> 00:42:36,237
- Hi.
- Hi.
984
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:37,404
Hi. Sorry, I'm...
I'm Amy.
985
00:42:37,406 --> 00:42:38,306
I'm Nate. Nice to meet you.
986
00:42:38,308 --> 00:42:39,574
- I'm Alec.
- Amy. Nice to meet you, guys.
987
00:42:39,576 --> 00:42:44,045
Uh, sorry, this is kind of weird
coming on to you guys like this.
988
00:42:44,047 --> 00:42:45,315
No, no, it's fine.
989
00:42:46,114 --> 00:42:47,181
Well, we were just wondering
990
00:42:47,183 --> 00:42:50,250
if you guys wouldn't mind
doing us a favor maybe.
991
00:42:50,252 --> 00:42:52,453
If you don't want to,
we totally get it, just...
992
00:42:52,455 --> 00:42:55,056
Uh, yeah, sure, what is it?
993
00:42:55,058 --> 00:42:57,991
Uh, okay, well, we're going
to this party tonight and...
994
00:42:57,993 --> 00:42:59,427
Oh, oh, I like
this favor already.
995
00:43:01,029 --> 00:43:02,195
All right.
996
00:43:02,197 --> 00:43:03,264
Well, we're going to this party
and we were wondering
997
00:43:03,266 --> 00:43:05,502
if you guys wouldn't mind
buying us some alcohol.
998
00:43:06,435 --> 00:43:08,034
Uh, uh...
999
00:43:08,036 --> 00:43:09,737
If you don't want to,
we totally understand.
1000
00:43:09,739 --> 00:43:11,975
It's just I don't...
1001
00:43:13,743 --> 00:43:16,177
- I mean, we would, but...
- Yeah, no, we totally would.
1002
00:43:16,179 --> 00:43:17,744
- Let's do it.
- Really?
1003
00:43:17,746 --> 00:43:19,313
Yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
1004
00:43:19,315 --> 00:43:20,348
What are you guys
doing over there?
1005
00:43:20,350 --> 00:43:22,516
Stop hiding, come on.
Come on, get over here.
1006
00:43:22,518 --> 00:43:23,750
- Just get over here.
- Awesome. Thank you, guys.
1007
00:43:23,752 --> 00:43:25,987
Come on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1008
00:43:25,989 --> 00:43:27,020
- There you are.
- Thank you.
1009
00:43:27,022 --> 00:43:27,990
Absolutely.
1010
00:43:29,092 --> 00:43:31,324
Get comfy. Look out,
it's a little messy in there.
1011
00:43:31,326 --> 00:43:32,492
This guy.
1012
00:43:32,494 --> 00:43:34,462
You good? All right.
1013
00:43:34,464 --> 00:43:35,230
Let's go.
1014
00:43:35,232 --> 00:43:37,465
What?
What are you doing dude?
1015
00:43:37,467 --> 00:43:38,766
We can't buy alcohol.
1016
00:43:38,768 --> 00:43:40,500
Don't give me that, dude.
Don't give me that.
1017
00:43:40,502 --> 00:43:43,137
Come on, we'll figure it out.
We'll figure it out.
1018
00:43:43,139 --> 00:43:44,105
Get in.
1019
00:43:44,107 --> 00:43:45,271
All right, all right.
1020
00:43:45,273 --> 00:43:47,041
All right, so, Amy,
I got your name.
1021
00:43:47,043 --> 00:43:48,009
What are you guys' names?
1022
00:43:48,011 --> 00:43:49,409
- I'm Tracy.
- Hannah.
1023
00:43:49,411 --> 00:43:51,012
Nice to meet you guys.
1024
00:43:51,014 --> 00:43:52,413
You're gonna have
to forgive me if I forget.
1025
00:43:52,415 --> 00:43:53,748
I'm awful with names.
1026
00:43:53,750 --> 00:43:55,081
I'm one of those guys.
1027
00:43:55,083 --> 00:43:56,349
It's okay.
1028
00:43:56,351 --> 00:43:57,955
All right, cool.
1029
00:44:05,027 --> 00:44:06,460
All right, all right, all right.
1030
00:44:06,462 --> 00:44:08,094
I don't wanna lie to you guys.
1031
00:44:08,096 --> 00:44:09,365
We're only 19.
1032
00:44:10,232 --> 00:44:12,500
And we don't have fakes.
1033
00:44:12,502 --> 00:44:14,434
We just kind of sweet-talked
the waitress
1034
00:44:14,436 --> 00:44:17,570
in the restaurant
into giving us alcohol, so...
1035
00:44:17,572 --> 00:44:19,407
Honestly,
it might be kind of tough
1036
00:44:19,409 --> 00:44:20,544
to get you guys booze.
1037
00:44:21,576 --> 00:44:23,376
Oh, uh...
1038
00:44:23,378 --> 00:44:24,378
But I do have something
1039
00:44:24,380 --> 00:44:27,150
I think might make your night
even more fun.
1040
00:44:27,784 --> 00:44:29,353
Okay, what is it?
1041
00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,554
So I'm thinking,
like, 60 bucks a gram,
1042
00:44:33,556 --> 00:44:35,188
five-hundred
for the whole thing,
1043
00:44:35,190 --> 00:44:36,456
which is actually
a pretty good deal.
1044
00:44:36,458 --> 00:44:38,058
It'll save you a lot of money
in the long haul.
1045
00:44:38,060 --> 00:44:39,360
Alec, dude, what the fuck?
1046
00:44:39,362 --> 00:44:40,594
Is that cocaine?
1047
00:44:40,596 --> 00:44:42,228
No, it's baking soda.
Yeah, it's cocaine.
1048
00:44:42,230 --> 00:44:43,530
Alec, what are you doing, dude?
What?
1049
00:44:43,532 --> 00:44:44,532
So what do you guys think?
1050
00:44:44,534 --> 00:44:47,101
Uh, we don't really do that.
1051
00:44:47,103 --> 00:44:48,101
- Yeah, no.
- Sorry.
1052
00:44:48,103 --> 00:44:49,837
Oh, okay. Well, we can...
we can bump it down
1053
00:44:49,839 --> 00:44:50,404
to 50 if you guys want.
1054
00:44:50,406 --> 00:44:52,139
No, you know, it's okay.
1055
00:44:52,141 --> 00:44:53,306
It was nice
meeting you guys, though.
1056
00:44:53,308 --> 00:44:55,076
- Bye.
- Thanks.
1057
00:44:55,078 --> 00:44:56,277
Oh, okay. Uh...
1058
00:44:56,279 --> 00:44:57,844
Uh, hey, uh...
1059
00:44:57,846 --> 00:44:58,579
Nice to meet you.
1060
00:45:03,585 --> 00:45:05,421
That went downhill fast.
1061
00:45:08,223 --> 00:45:11,224
Gosh, dude,
they were so fucking down.
1062
00:45:16,098 --> 00:45:17,500
Fuck it.
1063
00:45:22,337 --> 00:45:24,206
Did you steal that from Ernie?
1064
00:45:25,273 --> 00:45:27,875
Uh, no, I borrowed it from him.
1065
00:45:27,877 --> 00:45:30,311
What the fuck
is the matter with you, man?
1066
00:45:30,313 --> 00:45:31,445
Are you out
of your fucking mind?
1067
00:45:31,447 --> 00:45:34,315
Are you fucking retarded?
Did you see his fucking gun?
1068
00:45:34,317 --> 00:45:36,483
He's gonna fucking kill us,
you idiot.
1069
00:45:36,485 --> 00:45:38,152
Calm down, all right?
1070
00:45:38,154 --> 00:45:39,286
He's not gonna fucking notice.
1071
00:45:39,288 --> 00:45:40,654
Don't push me like that.
1072
00:45:40,656 --> 00:45:41,822
What the fuck were you thinking
1073
00:45:41,824 --> 00:45:43,858
selling cocaine to girls
in high school like that, man?
1074
00:45:43,860 --> 00:45:44,925
I was thinking
1075
00:45:44,927 --> 00:45:46,527
that I owe my neighbor
3000 dollars by tomorrow,
1076
00:45:46,529 --> 00:45:47,862
so I'm just trying
to make some money.
1077
00:45:47,864 --> 00:45:49,163
Forgive me
for being desperate, all right?
1078
00:45:49,165 --> 00:45:50,067
Uh...
1079
00:45:51,333 --> 00:45:52,465
I'm too old
to still be putting up
1080
00:45:52,467 --> 00:45:53,534
with this shit, man, seriously.
1081
00:45:53,536 --> 00:45:56,203
This is fucking bullshit.
1082
00:45:59,342 --> 00:46:01,175
All right, dude,
I get you're upset
1083
00:46:01,177 --> 00:46:02,175
and I apologize
for what happened,
1084
00:46:02,177 --> 00:46:03,878
but can you get off
your fucking high horse
1085
00:46:03,880 --> 00:46:05,549
for a second?
It's getting annoying.
1086
00:46:07,250 --> 00:46:08,449
What are you talking about?
1087
00:46:08,451 --> 00:46:10,617
I mean, dude, just 'cause you go
to some fancy ass college
1088
00:46:10,619 --> 00:46:12,353
with all
your rich fucking friends
1089
00:46:12,355 --> 00:46:14,355
doesn't mean you're super mature
all of a sudden.
1090
00:46:14,357 --> 00:46:16,190
Well, I'm sorry to say it, Alec,
1091
00:46:16,192 --> 00:46:18,893
but my friends in college would
never do shit like this ever.
1092
00:46:18,895 --> 00:46:20,061
Your friends in college, dude?
1093
00:46:20,063 --> 00:46:21,929
Your friends in college
are a bunch of fucking pussies
1094
00:46:21,931 --> 00:46:23,364
that just swipe
daddy's credit card
1095
00:46:23,366 --> 00:46:24,565
whenever something goes wrong.
1096
00:46:24,567 --> 00:46:25,933
That fixes everything.
1097
00:46:25,935 --> 00:46:27,701
Dude, you don't even know them.
Shut the fuck up.
1098
00:46:27,703 --> 00:46:29,235
Yeah, you're right,
I don't know them,
1099
00:46:29,237 --> 00:46:31,572
because you
haven't invited me up once.
1100
00:46:31,574 --> 00:46:33,907
Is that honestly
a fucking surprise?
1101
00:46:33,909 --> 00:46:35,241
If I invited you up,
1102
00:46:35,243 --> 00:46:36,576
you would just blackout
at every party
1103
00:46:36,578 --> 00:46:38,378
and make a fucking idiot
out of yourself
1104
00:46:38,380 --> 00:46:39,512
'cause you're fucking drunk,
dude.
1105
00:46:39,514 --> 00:46:41,250
You'd be a fucking
embarrassment.
1106
00:46:49,592 --> 00:46:51,592
Wow.
1107
00:46:51,594 --> 00:46:53,230
Okay.
1108
00:47:00,703 --> 00:47:03,139
All right, I didn't mean that.
I just...
1109
00:47:05,674 --> 00:47:07,308
I don't know, man, it's...
1110
00:47:07,310 --> 00:47:09,279
I just have a lot
of adrenaline in me.
1111
00:47:11,279 --> 00:47:12,448
It's cool, then.
1112
00:47:14,549 --> 00:47:16,282
Look man, let's just...
1113
00:47:16,284 --> 00:47:17,217
Fuck it, dude,
1114
00:47:17,219 --> 00:47:19,219
let's just go get
some weed for the wedding
1115
00:47:19,221 --> 00:47:20,456
and go like we planned,
all right?
1116
00:47:21,424 --> 00:47:22,523
I promise we can get so high
1117
00:47:22,525 --> 00:47:25,291
that we will forget
we even had this conversation.
1118
00:47:25,293 --> 00:47:26,395
Okay?
1119
00:47:28,563 --> 00:47:31,398
- Okay?
- Okay, dude.
1120
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:32,368
Fuck.
1121
00:47:33,703 --> 00:47:36,540
Uh, where are we gonna get weed
at this point?
1122
00:47:38,741 --> 00:47:41,275
I don't know, uh...
1123
00:47:41,277 --> 00:47:43,580
As of right, now I can
only think of one person, but...
1124
00:47:44,679 --> 00:47:46,582
I don't think
you're gonna like it.
1125
00:47:59,594 --> 00:48:01,330
What the fuck do you want?
1126
00:48:06,402 --> 00:48:08,402
Don't touch my cat,
he's diseased.
1127
00:48:08,404 --> 00:48:09,469
Oh, what?
1128
00:48:10,373 --> 00:48:12,373
Okay, look.
1129
00:48:12,375 --> 00:48:14,677
I'm all out
of my normal weed, but...
1130
00:48:15,578 --> 00:48:17,645
I have these edibles.
1131
00:48:17,647 --> 00:48:19,480
Thirty-five bucks a pop.
1132
00:48:20,750 --> 00:48:22,516
Tommy, 35 bucks a pop,
1133
00:48:22,518 --> 00:48:24,384
man, that seems
like kind of a rip-off.
1134
00:48:24,386 --> 00:48:25,552
Yeah?
1135
00:48:25,554 --> 00:48:27,490
How about you pay me or get out?
1136
00:48:30,025 --> 00:48:32,261
Yeah, we'll just pay.
You got... You got this?
1137
00:48:33,496 --> 00:48:35,795
Yeah, do you take Venmo?
1138
00:48:35,797 --> 00:48:37,331
What the fuck is a Venmo?
1139
00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:38,465
Venmo is an app
1140
00:48:38,467 --> 00:48:39,833
where you can send payments
to people on your phone.
1141
00:48:39,835 --> 00:48:41,467
No.
1142
00:48:41,469 --> 00:48:44,471
No, no phones, no apps.
1143
00:48:44,473 --> 00:48:45,808
I need cash.
1144
00:48:46,842 --> 00:48:48,509
I don't... I don't have any cash.
1145
00:48:48,511 --> 00:48:49,809
Do you have cash?
1146
00:48:49,811 --> 00:48:51,512
- Yeah, I got cash.
- Okay.
1147
00:48:51,514 --> 00:48:52,846
I'll just Venmo you
my half.
1148
00:48:52,848 --> 00:48:53,846
Cool.
1149
00:48:53,848 --> 00:48:55,782
Uh, you should really consider
getting Venmo.
1150
00:48:55,784 --> 00:48:57,384
It's, like, super convenient.
1151
00:48:57,386 --> 00:48:59,386
Forget about the fucking Venmo.
1152
00:48:59,388 --> 00:49:00,389
Jesus.
1153
00:49:01,089 --> 00:49:02,391
Seventy dollars.
1154
00:49:10,799 --> 00:49:14,335
Oh, and don't eat
the whole thing at once.
1155
00:49:14,337 --> 00:49:16,637
I don't care how high
you think your tolerance is,
1156
00:49:16,639 --> 00:49:18,404
eat half, see how you feel.
1157
00:49:18,406 --> 00:49:19,706
Definitely.
Thank you so much. Let's go.
1158
00:49:19,708 --> 00:49:20,641
No, no, hold on.
1159
00:49:20,643 --> 00:49:23,811
While we're here,
I think I have something
1160
00:49:23,813 --> 00:49:26,079
that you could be
interested in.
1161
00:49:26,081 --> 00:49:27,449
What?
1162
00:49:31,386 --> 00:49:32,721
What the fuck is that?
1163
00:49:33,621 --> 00:49:34,688
It's cocaine.
1164
00:49:34,690 --> 00:49:37,123
What the hell are you doing
with a bag of coke?
1165
00:49:37,125 --> 00:49:38,692
I just figured I owe you
some money
1166
00:49:38,694 --> 00:49:41,795
and I can use this to pay off
some of that money.
1167
00:49:41,797 --> 00:49:44,098
I don't know
how much it's worth,
1168
00:49:44,100 --> 00:49:46,433
but I'm sure you have a scale
or something that you could...
1169
00:49:46,435 --> 00:49:47,500
What are you, nuts?
1170
00:49:47,502 --> 00:49:49,838
What do you think I am,
some kind of drug dealer?
1171
00:49:54,377 --> 00:49:55,612
Yeah.
1172
00:49:56,545 --> 00:49:59,445
No, I work
at a stationery store,
1173
00:49:59,447 --> 00:50:02,483
I sell weed to my friends
because I have a med card,
1174
00:50:02,485 --> 00:50:04,421
but I'm not a drug dealer.
1175
00:50:05,821 --> 00:50:07,721
Oh, shit.
1176
00:50:07,723 --> 00:50:08,989
I hate to break it to you, pal,
1177
00:50:08,991 --> 00:50:11,592
but you're gonna have to pay me
back the old-fashioned way.
1178
00:50:11,594 --> 00:50:13,763
Tommy, look at me,
man, come on.
1179
00:50:15,130 --> 00:50:16,764
We've been neighbors
for a long time now,
1180
00:50:16,766 --> 00:50:18,165
and I know you're upset
about the car thing,
1181
00:50:18,167 --> 00:50:19,532
I'm upset
about the car thing.
1182
00:50:19,534 --> 00:50:20,867
It was a total accident.
1183
00:50:20,869 --> 00:50:22,770
But despite
all our differences, man,
1184
00:50:22,772 --> 00:50:24,837
I've always considered us
to be really good friends.
1185
00:50:24,839 --> 00:50:26,940
- I mean, we...
- Shut the fuck up, Alec.
1186
00:50:26,942 --> 00:50:30,511
You're gonna pay me back
in cash tomorrow,
1187
00:50:30,513 --> 00:50:32,145
not in fucking Venmo
1188
00:50:32,147 --> 00:50:34,181
and not in fucking cocaine.
1189
00:50:34,183 --> 00:50:37,418
In cash, or I'm gonna walk over
to your mother's house
1190
00:50:37,420 --> 00:50:39,485
and I'm going to tell her
exactly what happened.
1191
00:50:39,487 --> 00:50:41,457
That's it, end of story.
You understand?
1192
00:50:43,426 --> 00:50:44,757
- Yeah.
- Good.
1193
00:50:44,759 --> 00:50:46,927
Now get the fuck out.
1194
00:50:46,929 --> 00:50:48,598
Fuck.
1195
00:50:50,900 --> 00:50:53,800
See you bright and early
tomorrow, Alec.
1196
00:50:53,802 --> 00:50:55,505
Bright and early, baby.
1197
00:50:56,438 --> 00:50:58,572
Fucking stoners.
1198
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,226
It's like...
How do they make these?
1199
00:51:53,228 --> 00:51:56,563
Do they grind up, like, bud
and, like, put it in the dough?
1200
00:51:56,565 --> 00:51:58,935
Or is there, like, pre-made,
like, cookie dough, like...
1201
00:52:00,869 --> 00:52:02,235
Did you just
eat the whole thing?
1202
00:52:02,237 --> 00:52:03,270
Yeah.
1203
00:52:03,272 --> 00:52:05,605
Dude, you're an idiot.
He said to only need half.
1204
00:52:05,607 --> 00:52:06,541
Tommy is a fucking retard, dude.
1205
00:52:06,543 --> 00:52:08,241
He doesn't know
what he's talking about.
1206
00:52:08,243 --> 00:52:10,944
Just eat the fucking cookie.
Stop being a pussy.
1207
00:52:11,947 --> 00:52:12,880
Eat it.
1208
00:52:12,882 --> 00:52:14,280
I mean, I end up
in a fucking ambulance,
1209
00:52:14,282 --> 00:52:15,648
you're gonna be
taking care of me all day.
1210
00:52:15,650 --> 00:52:17,784
- I can't wait.
- All right, fine.
1211
00:52:17,786 --> 00:52:18,951
Fine.
1212
00:52:18,953 --> 00:52:20,087
This will be
really fucking fun for you.
1213
00:52:20,089 --> 00:52:21,755
Are you going to do it
or just keep talking about it?
1214
00:52:21,757 --> 00:52:23,525
I'll do it. Fuck.
1215
00:52:25,828 --> 00:52:27,927
We're so stupid, bro.
1216
00:52:27,929 --> 00:52:28,862
We're stupid people.
1217
00:52:32,034 --> 00:52:34,768
- That's great.
- This cookie tastes like shit.
1218
00:52:34,770 --> 00:52:36,538
I kind of like it.
1219
00:52:37,973 --> 00:52:39,005
All right, you good?
1220
00:52:41,743 --> 00:52:42,875
Yeah.
1221
00:52:42,877 --> 00:52:44,580
All right.
1222
00:52:47,715 --> 00:52:48,882
Let's do this shit.
1223
00:52:48,884 --> 00:52:50,616
Yeah.
1224
00:53:10,639 --> 00:53:12,038
We are here today to celebrate
1225
00:53:12,040 --> 00:53:14,775
something as special
as life itself.
1226
00:53:14,777 --> 00:53:18,311
The love between two people
can conquer any boundary
1227
00:53:18,313 --> 00:53:21,081
and overcome
every obstacle known to man,
1228
00:53:21,083 --> 00:53:22,616
including death.
1229
00:53:24,752 --> 00:53:25,552
We've come together
1230
00:53:25,554 --> 00:53:28,621
at the invitation
of Kahji and Maria
1231
00:53:28,623 --> 00:53:31,627
to celebrate their uniting
in Christian love.
1232
00:53:33,127 --> 00:53:34,761
Look at that motherfucker.
1233
00:53:34,763 --> 00:53:35,661
It's Kahji, man.
1234
00:53:35,663 --> 00:53:36,762
He looks good.
1235
00:53:36,764 --> 00:53:37,931
Look at his wife.
1236
00:53:37,933 --> 00:53:39,699
That's
what I was gonna say.
1237
00:53:39,701 --> 00:53:41,634
- She's not bad.
- She's a hottie.
1238
00:53:41,636 --> 00:53:43,670
Jesus said I come to them...
1239
00:53:43,672 --> 00:53:45,108
Dude, are you feeling it?
1240
00:53:45,975 --> 00:53:47,710
Yeah, a little, like...
1241
00:53:48,610 --> 00:53:49,543
Like I'm high, you know,
1242
00:53:49,545 --> 00:53:51,110
but, like, at a really,
like, chill level,
1243
00:53:51,112 --> 00:53:52,346
you know what I mean?
1244
00:53:52,348 --> 00:53:53,813
Yeah, dude, me too.
1245
00:53:53,815 --> 00:53:56,049
Oh, yeah.
1246
00:53:58,119 --> 00:53:59,822
...that we might have
this life.
1247
00:54:23,078 --> 00:54:24,411
Fuck.
1248
00:54:24,413 --> 00:54:26,380
What dude, what happened?
1249
00:54:27,750 --> 00:54:28,985
What happened?
1250
00:54:30,985 --> 00:54:33,686
Why the fuck did we eat
the whole thing?
1251
00:54:33,688 --> 00:54:35,822
That was fucking stupid.
1252
00:54:35,824 --> 00:54:36,956
Dude,
you need to calm down.
1253
00:54:36,958 --> 00:54:39,094
You look like you're about
to turn into a fucking Hulk.
1254
00:54:39,862 --> 00:54:41,994
Fuck.
1255
00:54:41,996 --> 00:54:43,396
Are you freaking out?
1256
00:54:43,398 --> 00:54:44,697
Your eyes are red as fuck.
1257
00:54:44,699 --> 00:54:46,099
No, they are not, dude.
1258
00:54:46,101 --> 00:54:47,166
Yes they are.
1259
00:54:47,168 --> 00:54:48,735
- Really?
- Yeah.
1260
00:54:48,737 --> 00:54:50,936
Oh, shit, dude so are yours.
1261
00:54:50,938 --> 00:54:51,904
Yeah, no shit.
1262
00:54:51,906 --> 00:54:53,005
These people will only take
one look at us
1263
00:54:53,007 --> 00:54:55,976
to know we are both
high off our fucking asses, man.
1264
00:54:55,978 --> 00:54:56,911
Shh!
1265
00:54:56,913 --> 00:54:57,844
Kahji and Maria
are here publicly
1266
00:54:57,846 --> 00:55:00,413
to declare
that because of Jesus Christ...
1267
00:55:00,415 --> 00:55:02,215
Did that really just happen?
1268
00:55:02,217 --> 00:55:04,750
Dude, that old lady is fierce.
1269
00:55:12,728 --> 00:55:15,231
We should not be this fucked up
in a church, man.
1270
00:55:16,098 --> 00:55:17,864
Since when have you given a fuck
about religion, dude?
1271
00:55:17,866 --> 00:55:19,766
God gave us an apple, man,
1272
00:55:19,768 --> 00:55:20,933
and it represented temptation
1273
00:55:20,935 --> 00:55:22,835
and He said, "Don't touch it."
1274
00:55:22,837 --> 00:55:23,936
He said, "Don't touch it."
1275
00:55:23,938 --> 00:55:25,038
What apple?
1276
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:26,440
It's like the apple of Eden,
man.
1277
00:55:26,442 --> 00:55:27,974
You're not supposed to...
1278
00:55:27,976 --> 00:55:29,041
touch the cookie.
1279
00:55:29,043 --> 00:55:29,976
Okay?
1280
00:55:29,978 --> 00:55:30,978
Well, now you are talking
about the cookie.
1281
00:55:30,980 --> 00:55:33,913
The cookie and the apple,
it's the same shit.
1282
00:55:33,915 --> 00:55:34,816
Excuse me.
1283
00:55:35,851 --> 00:55:38,985
This is the most
important day in their lives.
1284
00:55:38,987 --> 00:55:40,920
Would you please try
to keep it down?
1285
00:55:40,922 --> 00:55:42,989
Sorry, it's over.
1286
00:55:42,991 --> 00:55:45,058
It's over.
1287
00:55:45,060 --> 00:55:46,262
...and one
for each other.
1288
00:55:47,462 --> 00:55:48,462
Okay.
1289
00:55:50,065 --> 00:55:51,764
I'm okay.
1290
00:55:51,766 --> 00:55:53,500
I'm okay.
I'm not that high.
1291
00:55:53,502 --> 00:55:54,768
I'm okay.
1292
00:55:54,770 --> 00:55:56,168
I'm just gonna be okay
from now on.
1293
00:55:56,170 --> 00:55:58,105
I'm just gonna be cool.
1294
00:55:58,107 --> 00:55:59,676
Oh, shit, dude.
1295
00:56:01,009 --> 00:56:04,177
He's looking
right fucking at you, dude.
1296
00:56:04,179 --> 00:56:07,146
It's like He's piercing
your soul with His gaze
1297
00:56:07,148 --> 00:56:08,215
and He's, like, opening
His hands
1298
00:56:08,217 --> 00:56:10,016
like He's, like,
1299
00:56:10,018 --> 00:56:12,085
"I know what you did.
1300
00:56:12,087 --> 00:56:13,820
I know that you're high."
1301
00:56:13,822 --> 00:56:14,688
This is so weird.
1302
00:56:14,690 --> 00:56:16,523
- He fucking knows.
- Stop, dude, okay?
1303
00:56:16,525 --> 00:56:18,125
Don't touch me,
don't touch me, don't touch me.
1304
00:56:18,127 --> 00:56:19,259
Okay?
1305
00:56:19,261 --> 00:56:22,862
...your wife, your partner
in life and one true love...
1306
00:56:22,864 --> 00:56:25,868
But He knows.
Just know that He knows.
1307
00:56:26,969 --> 00:56:29,268
I think those boys
are both stoned.
1308
00:56:29,270 --> 00:56:31,237
Good times and the bad,
1309
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:32,942
through sickness and in health,
1310
00:56:33,509 --> 00:56:35,712
for as long
as you both shall live?
1311
00:56:37,946 --> 00:56:38,844
I do.
1312
00:56:41,049 --> 00:56:42,014
- Maria?
- Put them in, bro.
1313
00:56:42,016 --> 00:56:43,116
Put them in.
1314
00:56:43,118 --> 00:56:44,851
Can you do it for me?
I'm really bad at eye drops.
1315
00:56:44,853 --> 00:56:46,219
What are you, a fucking child?
1316
00:56:46,221 --> 00:56:48,123
Just give me this fuck
and let me do it.
1317
00:56:49,123 --> 00:56:51,525
...respect and honor him,
1318
00:56:51,527 --> 00:56:54,027
laugh with him,
cry with him.
1319
00:56:54,029 --> 00:56:55,561
All right, just do it.
Just do it.
1320
00:56:55,563 --> 00:56:56,663
I'm, like, fucking...
Oh, okay.
1321
00:56:56,665 --> 00:56:58,230
Listen, dude, you gotta keep
your fucking eye open.
1322
00:56:58,232 --> 00:56:59,132
They are open.
Just fucking do it.
1323
00:56:59,134 --> 00:56:59,833
All right.
1324
00:56:59,835 --> 00:57:02,034
Through sickness and in health
1325
00:57:02,036 --> 00:57:04,170
for as long
as you both shall live?
1326
00:57:04,172 --> 00:57:05,337
I do.
1327
00:57:05,339 --> 00:57:07,940
Please
present the rings.
1328
00:57:09,344 --> 00:57:10,944
Okay.
1329
00:57:10,946 --> 00:57:13,145
And now by the power vested
in me, I pronounce you...
1330
00:57:13,147 --> 00:57:14,181
Here's the kiss.
1331
00:57:14,183 --> 00:57:16,550
- ...husband and wife.
- Oh, shit, dude.
1332
00:57:16,552 --> 00:57:18,018
Oh, shit.
1333
00:57:20,355 --> 00:57:22,255
Oh, fucking finally, dude.
1334
00:57:26,895 --> 00:57:27,996
Yeah!
1335
00:57:28,596 --> 00:57:29,329
- Whoo!
- Kahji.
1336
00:57:29,331 --> 00:57:30,230
Get it.
1337
00:57:30,232 --> 00:57:32,168
Yeah!
1338
00:57:35,837 --> 00:57:36,969
Yes.
1339
00:57:36,971 --> 00:57:38,904
Congratulations.
1340
00:57:50,252 --> 00:57:52,054
Oh.
1341
00:57:52,855 --> 00:57:54,186
Look at those...
1342
00:57:54,188 --> 00:57:55,190
Dude, there he is.
1343
00:57:56,125 --> 00:57:58,257
He is such a geek,
dude, I love it.
1344
00:57:58,259 --> 00:57:59,625
Let's just go say hi
and then we'll bounce.
1345
00:57:59,627 --> 00:58:01,027
Oh, time out, dude.
1346
00:58:01,029 --> 00:58:03,063
It's a bar.
1347
00:58:03,065 --> 00:58:03,963
All right,
but you do the talking,
1348
00:58:03,965 --> 00:58:05,331
'cause I'm still,
like, tripping balls.
1349
00:58:05,333 --> 00:58:06,201
Fair enough.
1350
00:58:07,069 --> 00:58:08,067
No one's dancing.
1351
00:58:08,069 --> 00:58:09,936
You know what I'm saying?
1352
00:58:09,938 --> 00:58:11,938
You know, one of these.
1353
00:58:11,940 --> 00:58:12,873
I got moves.
1354
00:58:12,875 --> 00:58:14,107
You don't even know it,
dude, but I do.
1355
00:58:14,109 --> 00:58:15,942
- I can dance better than you.
- You've never seen me dance.
1356
00:58:15,944 --> 00:58:17,344
I've seen you dance.
You suck at dancing.
1357
00:58:17,346 --> 00:58:19,279
- Hey, what's up, man?
- Hey, guys.
1358
00:58:19,281 --> 00:58:20,380
Can we get two Jack and cokes?
1359
00:58:20,382 --> 00:58:21,284
Sure.
1360
00:58:22,217 --> 00:58:22,983
Hey, could you actually...
1361
00:58:22,985 --> 00:58:24,217
Can you make them
doubles, please?
1362
00:58:24,219 --> 00:58:25,384
Sure, coming right up.
1363
00:58:25,386 --> 00:58:26,920
Appreciate it.
1364
00:58:26,922 --> 00:58:27,887
Wow, big man.
1365
00:58:28,790 --> 00:58:29,556
If I drink more,
I'll get less stoned.
1366
00:58:29,558 --> 00:58:31,159
Yeah, I know.
I like your style.
1367
00:58:32,627 --> 00:58:35,094
Thanks, man.
How much are they?
1368
00:58:35,096 --> 00:58:37,399
Oh, no, it's an open bar.
All the drinks are free.
1369
00:58:38,199 --> 00:58:39,465
Hold on, time out.
1370
00:58:39,467 --> 00:58:41,000
So you're telling me that we can
have as many of these as we like
1371
00:58:41,002 --> 00:58:41,902
and they're free?
1372
00:58:41,904 --> 00:58:43,406
Yeah, that's correct.
1373
00:58:44,339 --> 00:58:46,005
Wow.
What's your name?
1374
00:58:46,007 --> 00:58:47,007
- Andy.
- Andy, fuck yes, dude.
1375
00:58:47,009 --> 00:58:47,907
Cheers to you.
1376
00:58:47,909 --> 00:58:48,641
Cheers, man.
1377
00:58:48,643 --> 00:58:49,846
- Yeah.
- Thanks.
1378
00:58:50,978 --> 00:58:52,679
Hmm.
1379
00:58:52,681 --> 00:58:54,116
No, you're not.
1380
00:58:58,386 --> 00:59:00,889
Wow. Let's go again.
1381
00:59:04,058 --> 00:59:05,125
Whoa!
1382
00:59:05,127 --> 00:59:06,192
I feel way less stoned.
1383
00:59:06,194 --> 00:59:07,259
- Uh-huh.
- Feel way less stoned.
1384
00:59:07,261 --> 00:59:08,360
You didn't even look
stoned before.
1385
00:59:08,362 --> 00:59:09,331
Sir, does he look high to you?
1386
00:59:13,368 --> 00:59:14,467
Andy, fucking Andy.
1387
00:59:14,469 --> 00:59:15,404
Thanks, Andy.
1388
00:59:17,172 --> 00:59:18,270
- Kahji.
- Okay, cool.
1389
00:59:18,272 --> 00:59:19,405
Let's go fuck with him.
1390
00:59:19,407 --> 00:59:21,440
- There he is.
- Oh.
1391
00:59:21,442 --> 00:59:22,976
Hey there.
1392
00:59:22,978 --> 00:59:24,476
Hey there. How...
1393
00:59:24,478 --> 00:59:25,645
Oh, good to see you.
1394
00:59:25,647 --> 00:59:29,014
Remember me from high school?
I was buddies with Kahji.
1395
00:59:29,016 --> 00:59:30,349
You look great. You look great.
1396
00:59:30,351 --> 00:59:32,152
You did something new
with your hair.
1397
00:59:32,154 --> 00:59:34,154
I gotta say, I really like it.
I dig the flowers.
1398
00:59:34,156 --> 00:59:35,322
Hey, Alec, we should go...
1399
00:59:35,324 --> 00:59:36,290
Let's go say hi to Kahji, man.
1400
00:59:36,292 --> 00:59:37,523
You know what?
I'll be there in a sec, man.
1401
00:59:37,525 --> 00:59:39,960
- You go on ahead, you know.
- Let's go say hi to Kahji, dude.
1402
00:59:39,962 --> 00:59:40,828
He's the man of the hour.
1403
00:59:40,830 --> 00:59:41,695
Okay,
you're pulling me away.
1404
00:59:41,697 --> 00:59:44,096
But we're grabbing a drink
later, okay?
1405
00:59:44,098 --> 00:59:45,465
All right,
I'm holding you to it.
1406
00:59:45,467 --> 00:59:47,199
Thank you for her flower.
1407
00:59:47,201 --> 00:59:48,701
I will take care of it.
1408
00:59:48,703 --> 00:59:51,270
I'll do anything you want me to.
1409
00:59:51,272 --> 00:59:54,040
Oh, someone call
the fire department.
1410
00:59:54,710 --> 00:59:57,177
Oh, you guys made it!
1411
00:59:57,179 --> 00:59:59,311
- Why not?
- Good to see you, man.
1412
00:59:59,313 --> 01:00:00,413
Congratulations, man.
1413
01:00:00,415 --> 01:00:02,047
Thanks, dude.
1414
01:00:02,049 --> 01:00:04,351
I'm so stoked you guys are here.
1415
01:00:04,353 --> 01:00:06,418
Let me introduce you to my wife.
1416
01:00:06,420 --> 01:00:07,989
- Okay.
- Let's do it.
1417
01:00:09,190 --> 01:00:11,056
Jesus.
1418
01:00:11,058 --> 01:00:15,094
Maria, these are the guys that
I've been telling you about.
1419
01:00:15,096 --> 01:00:16,730
Maria, it's so nice to meet you.
I'm Nate.
1420
01:00:16,732 --> 01:00:18,197
You know what?
We hug in this family.
1421
01:00:18,199 --> 01:00:20,000
I'm Alec. Pleasure.
1422
01:00:20,002 --> 01:00:21,067
It's a pleasure.
1423
01:00:21,069 --> 01:00:22,369
I've heard so much about you.
1424
01:00:22,371 --> 01:00:25,105
Yeah.
1425
01:00:25,107 --> 01:00:26,005
- Whoa.
- Wow, there you go...
1426
01:00:26,007 --> 01:00:26,940
Okay.
1427
01:00:26,942 --> 01:00:28,041
Right in middle
of a conversation, huh?
1428
01:00:28,043 --> 01:00:30,076
It's been nineteen long years,
I gotta capitalize.
1429
01:00:30,078 --> 01:00:31,344
Can't blame you there.
1430
01:00:31,346 --> 01:00:33,212
- He's very serious about it.
- Yeah, no kidding.
1431
01:00:33,214 --> 01:00:35,014
Well, I'm going to interrupt
the capitalization.
1432
01:00:35,016 --> 01:00:36,349
You don't mind
if we borrow him for a second?
1433
01:00:36,351 --> 01:00:38,050
We got some catching up
to do, you know?
1434
01:00:38,052 --> 01:00:39,418
- Yeah, of course.
- Yeah?
1435
01:00:39,420 --> 01:00:41,286
- Yeah, we'll be back soon.
- Okay.
1436
01:00:41,288 --> 01:00:42,755
- Oh!
- Holly shit.
1437
01:00:42,757 --> 01:00:44,324
- Damn.
- Am I hard? I think so.
1438
01:00:45,127 --> 01:00:46,259
Let's separate you two,
you know?
1439
01:00:46,261 --> 01:00:48,228
Yeah, till more starts
to happen, you know what I mean?
1440
01:00:48,230 --> 01:00:49,429
- It's heating up in here.
- Uh-huh.
1441
01:00:49,431 --> 01:00:51,530
Look at you, man, you're
doing pretty well for yourself.
1442
01:00:51,532 --> 01:00:52,766
Married man, huh?
1443
01:00:52,768 --> 01:00:54,768
Call me daddy.
1444
01:00:54,770 --> 01:00:55,567
What?
1445
01:00:55,569 --> 01:00:57,172
Big Daddy.
1446
01:00:58,072 --> 01:00:59,371
Andy, what's up man?
1447
01:00:59,373 --> 01:01:01,141
Gentlemen.
1448
01:01:01,143 --> 01:01:03,076
Can we get three shots
of tequila, please?
1449
01:01:03,078 --> 01:01:03,976
Absolutely.
1450
01:01:03,978 --> 01:01:06,478
That's right, baby.
Hey, listen, uh...
1451
01:01:06,480 --> 01:01:08,348
So I know that you were, like,
putting on a show
1452
01:01:08,350 --> 01:01:09,782
for your family and everything,
1453
01:01:09,784 --> 01:01:10,918
but you can level with us.
1454
01:01:10,920 --> 01:01:13,122
That really... that wasn't really
your first kiss, was it?
1455
01:01:14,089 --> 01:01:15,554
Yeah.
1456
01:01:15,556 --> 01:01:16,790
What?
1457
01:01:16,792 --> 01:01:18,525
Told you man, this guy's legit.
1458
01:01:18,527 --> 01:01:20,793
Yeah, what a legend.
Let's do this.
1459
01:01:20,795 --> 01:01:22,529
Thanks, dawgs, I'm chilling.
1460
01:01:22,531 --> 01:01:24,130
- No.
- Come on, man.
1461
01:01:24,132 --> 01:01:25,532
You... It's
your fucking wedding, dude.
1462
01:01:25,534 --> 01:01:27,567
- Take a shot with us.
- It won't kill you.
1463
01:01:27,569 --> 01:01:28,603
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
1464
01:01:30,337 --> 01:01:32,538
Whoa! Ooh!
1465
01:01:33,375 --> 01:01:34,174
Yeah, that'll loosen you up,
right?
1466
01:01:34,176 --> 01:01:36,576
You're gonna need it
for tonight.
1467
01:01:36,578 --> 01:01:38,078
Are you nervous?
1468
01:01:38,080 --> 01:01:39,281
About what?
1469
01:01:40,281 --> 01:01:41,346
Can we get just three more,
Andy?
1470
01:01:41,348 --> 01:01:43,148
- Sure.
- Thank you.
1471
01:01:43,150 --> 01:01:45,217
You know, like, it's gonna be
your first time,
1472
01:01:45,219 --> 01:01:47,253
it's going to be her first time.
1473
01:01:47,255 --> 01:01:48,822
Seems like a lot
of pressure, right?
1474
01:01:48,824 --> 01:01:51,260
Well, technically
it's not her first time, so...
1475
01:01:52,393 --> 01:01:54,159
Wait, what do you mean?
1476
01:01:54,161 --> 01:01:56,329
Oh, boys, shake this, all right?
Here we go.
1477
01:01:56,331 --> 01:01:57,364
Hold on, time out.
1478
01:01:57,366 --> 01:01:59,235
What do you mean it's not
gonna be her first time?
1479
01:02:00,268 --> 01:02:03,302
Well, she had a boyfriend
before me when she was younger,
1480
01:02:03,304 --> 01:02:04,871
but, you know,
she joined the church
1481
01:02:04,873 --> 01:02:07,139
and she reclaimed
her virginity, so...
1482
01:02:07,141 --> 01:02:08,277
Yeah, so it's all good now.
1483
01:02:09,444 --> 01:02:11,177
Reclaimed her virginity?
1484
01:02:11,179 --> 01:02:13,145
Alec, Alec,
let's take these, okay?
1485
01:02:13,147 --> 01:02:14,246
Round two, here we go.
1486
01:02:14,248 --> 01:02:16,549
Here we go.
Round two, baby.
1487
01:02:16,551 --> 01:02:18,186
- Let's do it.
- To Kahji.
1488
01:02:23,458 --> 01:02:26,893
Dude, so she's had sex before
and you haven't?
1489
01:02:26,895 --> 01:02:58,218
Alec, dude, forget about it.
1490
01:02:58,220 --> 01:02:59,921
She reclaimed her virginity,
it's fine, okay?
1491
01:02:59,923 --> 01:03:01,522
No, no, no,
it's fine, it's fine.
1492
01:03:01,524 --> 01:03:02,323
I'm just saying, dude,
1493
01:03:02,325 --> 01:03:03,223
like, I don't mean
to freak you out,
1494
01:03:03,225 --> 01:03:03,957
but it's gonna be weird
when she knows
1495
01:03:03,959 --> 01:03:06,894
what she's doing and you don't.
1496
01:03:06,896 --> 01:03:07,696
You know what I'm saying?
1497
01:03:08,664 --> 01:03:12,533
Look, we really love each other,
okay?
1498
01:03:12,535 --> 01:03:14,504
So it's gonna be all right.
1499
01:03:16,238 --> 01:03:18,506
Look, my... my family
is calling me for photos.
1500
01:03:18,508 --> 01:03:20,006
- I gotta go.
- Go for it, man.
1501
01:03:20,008 --> 01:03:21,174
Go kill them out there, okay?
1502
01:03:21,176 --> 01:03:22,245
You put on a good show
out there, right, buddy?
1503
01:03:25,682 --> 01:03:27,247
What are you being a fucking
asshole to him for, man?
1504
01:03:27,249 --> 01:03:28,116
Whoa.
1505
01:03:28,118 --> 01:03:29,049
You're fucking freaking him out,
dude.
1506
01:03:29,051 --> 01:03:29,716
No, I'm not being
a fucking asshole, dude.
1507
01:03:29,718 --> 01:03:31,953
I just think it's bullshit.
1508
01:03:31,955 --> 01:03:33,888
He got fucking swindled,
dude, all right?
1509
01:03:33,890 --> 01:03:35,223
Think about when they go
to bed later.
1510
01:03:35,225 --> 01:03:36,290
He gets in her pants
1511
01:03:36,292 --> 01:03:37,292
and finds out something
he doesn't like, you know?
1512
01:03:37,294 --> 01:03:40,694
Maybe she has like an abnormally
wide vagina or...
1513
01:03:40,696 --> 01:03:42,497
- What?
- I don't know, man.
1514
01:03:42,499 --> 01:03:44,232
Crazy shit happens
like that sometimes.
1515
01:03:44,234 --> 01:03:45,267
What are you talking about?
1516
01:03:45,269 --> 01:03:47,801
I mean, it's one thing
if they're both virgins,
1517
01:03:47,803 --> 01:03:49,604
but it's an entirely other thing
1518
01:03:49,606 --> 01:03:50,604
if she isn't and he is.
1519
01:03:50,606 --> 01:03:53,274
I mean, she's never
gonna fucking respect him.
1520
01:03:53,276 --> 01:03:55,008
She's never gonna respect him.
1521
01:03:55,010 --> 01:03:56,776
She's always gonna
look down on him, dude.
1522
01:03:56,778 --> 01:03:59,046
Girls fucking hate it
when, you know,
1523
01:03:59,048 --> 01:04:01,048
a guy doesn't know
what they're doing.
1524
01:04:01,050 --> 01:04:02,718
Poor little guy.
1525
01:04:04,988 --> 01:04:06,857
For you.
1526
01:04:07,624 --> 01:04:08,589
All right.
1527
01:04:08,591 --> 01:04:09,589
But after this, we're taking
a break, okay?
1528
01:04:09,591 --> 01:04:10,491
You know it.
1529
01:04:10,493 --> 01:04:11,292
I'm just trying
to get fucking wasted.
1530
01:04:11,294 --> 01:04:12,660
Me too, dude.
Can't wait.
1531
01:04:12,662 --> 01:04:13,830
All right, cheers.
1532
01:04:15,731 --> 01:04:16,999
Oh, fuck.
1533
01:04:19,568 --> 01:04:20,700
- Oh, shit.
- Whoa.
1534
01:04:20,702 --> 01:04:21,569
- Hide.
- What, man?
1535
01:04:21,571 --> 01:04:22,636
Fucking Ernie
just walked in.
1536
01:04:22,638 --> 01:04:23,437
Are you kidding me?
1537
01:04:23,439 --> 01:04:24,573
How the fuck
did he find us, man?
1538
01:04:24,575 --> 01:04:25,707
Dude, I don't know, maybe
because you've been posting
1539
01:04:25,709 --> 01:04:28,808
fucking a bunch of shit
on your gay little apps all day.
1540
01:04:28,810 --> 01:04:30,011
You left them
a social-media trail
1541
01:04:30,013 --> 01:04:32,683
of breadcrumbs, motherfucker.
1542
01:04:34,050 --> 01:04:36,017
Ernie, dude.
What's up, man?
1543
01:04:36,019 --> 01:04:37,951
Where the fuck is it, Alec?
1544
01:04:37,953 --> 01:04:38,819
Where's what, dude?
1545
01:04:38,821 --> 01:04:40,555
Look, don't fucking
jerk me around.
1546
01:04:40,557 --> 01:04:41,555
Where the fuck is it?
1547
01:04:41,557 --> 01:04:42,790
I'm not jerking anybody, dude.
1548
01:04:42,792 --> 01:04:44,091
I don't know
what you're talking about.
1549
01:04:44,093 --> 01:04:45,859
Don't fuck with me, Alec.
1550
01:04:45,861 --> 01:04:47,294
Where's my cocaine?
I know you stole it.
1551
01:04:47,296 --> 01:04:48,462
Fucking relax, dude.
1552
01:04:48,464 --> 01:04:51,332
Shut the fuck up, Nate,
you two-faced faggot.
1553
01:04:51,334 --> 01:04:53,700
Hey, man, relax,
we're at a fucking wedding.
1554
01:04:53,702 --> 01:04:55,002
Ernie.
1555
01:04:55,004 --> 01:04:57,638
Dude, what are you doing here?
1556
01:04:57,640 --> 01:05:00,040
These fucking guys
stole something from me,
1557
01:05:00,042 --> 01:05:01,107
and I'm here to take it back.
1558
01:05:01,109 --> 01:05:03,109
No, no, we didn't steal
anything.
1559
01:05:03,111 --> 01:05:05,812
Alec, I'm gonna give you
to the count of three
1560
01:05:05,814 --> 01:05:07,647
to give me my shit back.
1561
01:05:07,649 --> 01:05:09,316
And then I'm going
to beat the shit out of you
1562
01:05:09,318 --> 01:05:10,920
in front of all these people.
1563
01:05:13,122 --> 01:05:14,691
One...
1564
01:05:17,093 --> 01:05:17,991
Two...
1565
01:05:17,993 --> 01:05:19,062
Fine.
1566
01:05:27,336 --> 01:05:29,904
Dude, what's your problem?
1567
01:05:29,906 --> 01:05:31,372
What's my problem?
1568
01:05:31,374 --> 01:05:33,808
You're defending these guys.
1569
01:05:33,810 --> 01:05:35,712
They don't even
fucking like you.
1570
01:05:36,678 --> 01:05:38,111
The only reason they wanted
to come to your wedding,
1571
01:05:38,113 --> 01:05:40,013
because they thought
it would be funny
1572
01:05:40,015 --> 01:05:41,147
to watch you
have your first kiss
1573
01:05:41,149 --> 01:05:42,984
while they were on drugs.
1574
01:05:42,986 --> 01:05:44,688
That's what they told me.
1575
01:05:45,754 --> 01:05:47,156
They don't give a shit
about you.
1576
01:05:48,357 --> 01:05:49,089
They just wanted
to make fun of you
1577
01:05:49,091 --> 01:05:50,091
while they were fucking stoned.
1578
01:05:50,093 --> 01:05:52,729
Look at them,
they're fucking high as fuck.
1579
01:05:53,696 --> 01:05:55,766
If you guys wanted cocaine,
I would have given it to you.
1580
01:05:56,798 --> 01:05:58,366
I tried to get you laid,
for Christ's sake,
1581
01:05:58,368 --> 01:05:59,933
and this is how you repay me?
1582
01:05:59,935 --> 01:06:00,937
Ernie.
1583
01:06:01,703 --> 01:06:04,705
Listen, man, I'm sorry, okay?
1584
01:06:04,707 --> 01:06:06,109
I was in a really bad place,
dude.
1585
01:06:07,977 --> 01:06:11,848
I know you guys think that I'm
some rich parentless douchebag.
1586
01:06:12,981 --> 01:06:16,850
Yeah, I might do a lot
of fucked-up shit to myself,
1587
01:06:16,852 --> 01:06:19,055
but at least I don't do
fucked up shit to other people.
1588
01:06:20,823 --> 01:06:23,189
You guys really hurt
my feelings today.
1589
01:06:24,693 --> 01:06:26,062
Congratulations, Kahji.
1590
01:06:27,664 --> 01:06:29,600
Fuck you, guys.
1591
01:06:43,713 --> 01:06:46,015
Damn, that's fucked up.
1592
01:06:47,182 --> 01:06:48,783
Dude, everything that Ernie said
1593
01:06:48,785 --> 01:06:50,183
was total bullshit, man,
I swear to God.
1594
01:06:50,185 --> 01:06:52,886
Yo, the guy's a fucking
psychopath, all right?
1595
01:06:52,888 --> 01:06:54,055
He lies all the time.
1596
01:06:54,057 --> 01:06:55,055
We've been excited to come
for this for months, honestly.
1597
01:06:55,057 --> 01:06:56,890
Absolutely, man.
We've been talking about it.
1598
01:06:56,892 --> 01:06:57,793
- Yeah.
- Look.
1599
01:06:58,794 --> 01:07:01,764
Honestly, guys,
I don't really care anymore.
1600
01:07:02,932 --> 01:07:04,432
I'm not stupid.
1601
01:07:04,434 --> 01:07:06,000
I know you guys
never really liked
1602
01:07:06,002 --> 01:07:08,038
hanging out with me
in high school.
1603
01:07:09,205 --> 01:07:10,870
You only liked
hanging out with me
1604
01:07:10,872 --> 01:07:14,110
because I did your homework,
and you got As in algebra.
1605
01:07:15,877 --> 01:07:18,180
But I don't need you guys
anymore.
1606
01:07:18,981 --> 01:07:21,848
You know, I'm married now.
1607
01:07:21,850 --> 01:07:23,017
I only invited you here
1608
01:07:23,019 --> 01:07:24,951
because I wanted
to prove to you both
1609
01:07:24,953 --> 01:07:26,789
that I was worth something.
1610
01:07:27,923 --> 01:07:29,790
And I wanted to see
how much you guys have grown
1611
01:07:29,792 --> 01:07:31,728
since the last time
I saw you, but...
1612
01:07:32,461 --> 01:07:33,461
It looks
like nothing's changed,
1613
01:07:33,463 --> 01:07:35,495
you guys are still doing
the same stupid shit
1614
01:07:35,497 --> 01:07:36,763
you did in high school,
1615
01:07:36,765 --> 01:07:39,133
and that's great and all, but...
1616
01:07:39,135 --> 01:07:42,136
It's not something
I wanna be part of anymore.
1617
01:07:42,138 --> 01:07:44,741
Fuck, dude, we're really sorry
for ruining your wedding, man.
1618
01:07:46,274 --> 01:07:48,274
She's a really
beautiful girl.
1619
01:07:48,276 --> 01:07:49,843
We're really happy for you,
honestly.
1620
01:07:49,845 --> 01:07:52,812
- Yeah, she is a fox, bro.
- A fox, buddy.
1621
01:07:52,814 --> 01:07:54,482
Yeah.
1622
01:07:54,484 --> 01:07:56,252
I'm gonna fuck her
really hard.
1623
01:07:58,854 --> 01:08:00,289
Wow.
1624
01:08:01,890 --> 01:08:04,959
Hey, I'd invite you both
back in, but...
1625
01:08:04,961 --> 01:08:07,026
I'm pretty sure
my entire family hates you.
1626
01:08:07,028 --> 01:08:08,895
- Oh, no, totally.
- Yeah, they...
1627
01:08:08,897 --> 01:08:09,964
- Makes sense.
- Totally.
1628
01:08:09,966 --> 01:08:12,803
- Yeah.
- It's good seeing you, guys.
1629
01:08:14,836 --> 01:08:17,037
Yo, Kahji.
1630
01:08:17,039 --> 01:08:19,506
Good luck
on the other side, man.
1631
01:08:19,508 --> 01:08:21,241
Get big, baby.
1632
01:08:28,850 --> 01:08:30,186
Okay.
1633
01:08:43,265 --> 01:08:45,966
Jesus fucking Christ, dude.
1634
01:08:45,968 --> 01:08:47,567
What a mess.
1635
01:08:47,569 --> 01:08:49,236
Yeah.
1636
01:08:49,238 --> 01:08:52,173
Hey, can you drive?
Are you good?
1637
01:08:52,175 --> 01:08:54,008
No, dude,
I'm still pretty fucked up.
1638
01:08:54,010 --> 01:08:55,975
All right, here, give me
your keys and switch spots.
1639
01:08:55,977 --> 01:08:57,544
Let's just sit in here.
1640
01:08:57,546 --> 01:08:58,879
We'll listen to the radio,
1641
01:08:58,881 --> 01:09:00,848
we'll chill
and then we'll sober up.
1642
01:09:00,850 --> 01:09:02,018
We'll leave
in a little bit.
1643
01:09:03,986 --> 01:09:05,019
All right.
1644
01:09:05,021 --> 01:09:05,986
Okay.
1645
01:09:05,988 --> 01:09:06,890
Okay.
1646
01:09:15,564 --> 01:09:17,163
Hey, I don't mean
to sound like...
1647
01:09:17,165 --> 01:09:18,599
Like gay or dramatic
or anything,
1648
01:09:18,601 --> 01:09:20,835
but I'm sorry I was
a dick to you earlier, man.
1649
01:09:20,837 --> 01:09:22,169
That wasn't chill at all.
1650
01:09:22,171 --> 01:09:24,371
Dude, don't worry about it, man.
I'm over it.
1651
01:09:24,373 --> 01:09:27,006
Honestly, I miss you a lot
when I'm at school.
1652
01:09:27,008 --> 01:09:28,975
Aww.
1653
01:09:28,977 --> 01:09:32,212
No, I... Honest, I really do.
I just...
1654
01:09:32,214 --> 01:09:34,982
I think I didn't invite
you up because I was just...
1655
01:09:34,984 --> 01:09:35,983
I don't know,
I was just embarrassed
1656
01:09:35,985 --> 01:09:38,219
about the way things
were going for me there.
1657
01:09:38,221 --> 01:09:39,222
Why?
1658
01:09:40,355 --> 01:09:42,355
I don't know, The only
fraternity that gave me a bit
1659
01:09:42,357 --> 01:09:44,127
was, like, the lamest one
on campus.
1660
01:09:45,194 --> 01:09:46,260
Honestly, everyone
I hang out with
1661
01:09:46,262 --> 01:09:48,165
annoys the living shit
out of me.
1662
01:09:49,598 --> 01:09:51,064
Shit.
1663
01:09:51,066 --> 01:09:51,933
What about Machelle, man?
1664
01:09:51,935 --> 01:09:54,204
I thought that that
was going well.
1665
01:09:57,205 --> 01:09:59,340
No, it's...
1666
01:09:59,342 --> 01:10:00,974
It's not.
1667
01:10:03,980 --> 01:10:05,182
Why not?
1668
01:10:06,615 --> 01:10:09,649
I don't know, It's just
she's not really my girlfriend.
1669
01:10:09,651 --> 01:10:12,221
We just... we're just kind of
like seeing each other, but...
1670
01:10:13,189 --> 01:10:15,292
I thought by now,
like, she would be, but...
1671
01:10:16,292 --> 01:10:18,024
I don't know, we just haven't
been able to, like, cross
1672
01:10:18,026 --> 01:10:22,161
a certain, like, barrier
or whatever you wanna call it.
1673
01:10:22,163 --> 01:10:24,133
Like you guys
just don't click or...?
1674
01:10:27,936 --> 01:10:28,635
I don't know, man.
1675
01:10:28,637 --> 01:10:31,404
For some reason whenever...
1676
01:10:31,406 --> 01:10:32,639
We...
1677
01:10:32,641 --> 01:10:36,109
Whenever we're gonna have sex,
it just...
1678
01:10:36,111 --> 01:10:38,946
doesn't happen, I just...
1679
01:10:38,948 --> 01:10:41,081
I don't know, I just...
1680
01:10:41,083 --> 01:10:43,420
I get really nervous and...
1681
01:10:45,954 --> 01:10:47,955
I mean, it's... it's not...
it doesn't matter, dude,
1682
01:10:47,957 --> 01:10:49,255
it's not worth talking about.
1683
01:10:49,257 --> 01:10:50,292
It's not a big deal.
1684
01:10:52,994 --> 01:10:55,865
So, are you saying you haven't...
you haven't lost it yet?
1685
01:10:58,133 --> 01:11:00,067
I don't know
if it's her or if it's me
1686
01:11:00,069 --> 01:11:02,105
or what the fuck it is, but...
1687
01:11:03,306 --> 01:11:05,238
It's like you said, dude.
1688
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:08,011
Girls don't like guys who don't
know what they're doing.
1689
01:11:10,212 --> 01:11:13,216
I mean, fuck, fucking Kahji
is getting laid before I am.
1690
01:11:15,217 --> 01:11:16,483
That's fucking sad.
1691
01:11:16,485 --> 01:11:19,185
No, dude, I'm a fucking idiot,
all right?
1692
01:11:19,187 --> 01:11:20,957
I don't know
why I said that earlier.
1693
01:11:21,690 --> 01:11:22,823
The reason
you can't fuck Machelle
1694
01:11:22,825 --> 01:11:26,059
is probably because you just
don't like her that much,
1695
01:11:26,061 --> 01:11:27,193
and that's fucking normal.
1696
01:11:27,195 --> 01:11:28,429
That's the way it should be.
1697
01:11:28,431 --> 01:11:29,964
Plus, I'm sorry to say it,
1698
01:11:29,966 --> 01:11:31,935
but Machelle
is a psychotic bitch.
1699
01:11:34,736 --> 01:11:37,103
You know?
1700
01:11:37,105 --> 01:11:39,238
But that little Kahji
was right, man.
1701
01:11:39,240 --> 01:11:42,977
I mean, he totally
changed my perspective.
1702
01:11:42,979 --> 01:11:44,377
In life, there's men,
and there's women
1703
01:11:44,379 --> 01:11:47,180
and we are the complete opposite
of one another.
1704
01:11:47,182 --> 01:11:48,282
But at the end of the day,
it's all about finding
1705
01:11:48,284 --> 01:11:49,216
that one that you have,
1706
01:11:49,218 --> 01:11:51,186
like, just a genuine connection
with, man.
1707
01:11:52,454 --> 01:11:55,322
I mean, and I'll admit it,
I haven't had sex in a while.
1708
01:11:55,324 --> 01:11:57,090
And I fucking mean it.
1709
01:11:57,092 --> 01:11:59,059
'Cause all the chicks I work
with that are beat as fuck
1710
01:11:59,061 --> 01:12:00,497
and they are the only ones
I have access to.
1711
01:12:01,529 --> 01:12:03,165
But it doesn't matter, dude.
1712
01:12:04,199 --> 01:12:05,264
You're fine, all right?
1713
01:12:05,266 --> 01:12:06,936
We'll find a Maria.
Just trust me.
1714
01:12:10,338 --> 01:12:12,141
Yeah, no, you're right.
1715
01:12:14,010 --> 01:12:15,442
And you know what, dude?
It's probably for the best.
1716
01:12:15,444 --> 01:12:17,379
I mean, Machelle gave me
chlamydia in high school.
1717
01:12:19,515 --> 01:12:21,247
Wait, what?
1718
01:12:21,249 --> 01:12:22,750
Yeah, dude, fucked up.
1719
01:12:22,752 --> 01:12:25,184
Wait a minute, you and Machelle
had sex in high school?
1720
01:12:25,186 --> 01:12:26,085
Yeah, man.
1721
01:12:26,087 --> 01:12:29,158
Oh, my God, dude, oh, fuck.
1722
01:12:30,392 --> 01:12:32,760
It still stings when I pee.
1723
01:12:32,762 --> 01:12:35,328
Oh, God.
1724
01:12:35,330 --> 01:12:37,197
Yeah, I don't know
what to do about it.
1725
01:12:37,199 --> 01:12:38,499
- I just kind of...
- See a doctor, dude.
1726
01:12:38,501 --> 01:12:40,267
Well, I just kind of pretend
it's gonna go away,
1727
01:12:40,269 --> 01:12:41,135
and it never does.
1728
01:12:41,137 --> 01:12:43,136
- It doesn't go away.
- It sucks, man.
1729
01:12:43,138 --> 01:12:45,104
It's scary. I'm scared.
1730
01:12:50,111 --> 01:12:53,046
Dude, do you know
what you're gonna do
1731
01:12:53,048 --> 01:12:54,148
when you grow up?
1732
01:12:54,150 --> 01:12:56,250
Like, you know, when you get out
of college and shit,
1733
01:12:56,252 --> 01:12:57,384
you know what you're
gonna do with your life?
1734
01:12:57,386 --> 01:13:00,286
I don't fucking know.
I have no idea.
1735
01:13:00,288 --> 01:13:02,423
Thank God.
1736
01:13:02,425 --> 01:13:04,825
I'm so sick of people telling me
1737
01:13:04,827 --> 01:13:06,393
they know exactly
what they're gonna do
1738
01:13:06,395 --> 01:13:08,429
and how they're going to do it.
1739
01:13:08,431 --> 01:13:11,230
You know? It scares me,
It scares the shit out of me.
1740
01:13:11,232 --> 01:13:14,367
I'm just a waiter who barely
graduated high school.
1741
01:13:14,369 --> 01:13:17,071
What can you do?
Where can you go from there?
1742
01:13:17,073 --> 01:13:18,505
Yeah, but if you want
to be successful,
1743
01:13:18,507 --> 01:13:20,276
it's good to start
at a humble place.
1744
01:13:21,409 --> 01:13:24,277
I mean, where the fuck
am I supposed to go, dude?
1745
01:13:24,279 --> 01:13:27,147
My dad grew up sleeping
in a fucking drawer
1746
01:13:27,149 --> 01:13:28,618
and I'm driving a Range Rover.
1747
01:13:30,186 --> 01:13:32,152
I mean, that's why my car
is trashed all the time,
1748
01:13:32,154 --> 01:13:34,388
it's because I hate it.
1749
01:13:34,390 --> 01:13:37,558
I fucking hate
how easy it was to get this.
1750
01:13:37,560 --> 01:13:40,327
I don't want a car this nice.
It's not good for my brain.
1751
01:13:40,329 --> 01:13:42,032
Jesus Christ.
1752
01:13:42,832 --> 01:13:45,299
Only in fucking America
do people complain
1753
01:13:45,301 --> 01:13:46,366
about being rich.
1754
01:13:46,368 --> 01:13:47,568
Well...
1755
01:13:47,570 --> 01:13:48,368
I mean, I'm not rich.
1756
01:13:48,370 --> 01:13:50,370
Dude, you're rich as fuck,
all right?
1757
01:13:50,372 --> 01:13:52,042
You're rich, just accept it.
1758
01:13:55,244 --> 01:13:57,243
All I'm saying is,
1759
01:13:57,245 --> 01:13:58,312
it's good
to earn things yourself
1760
01:13:58,314 --> 01:14:00,650
and not have everything
handed to you, you know?
1761
01:14:02,584 --> 01:14:05,452
The only way to get big
1762
01:14:05,454 --> 01:14:07,290
is to start small.
1763
01:14:09,124 --> 01:14:12,158
Dude, it doesn't matter
if you're rich or poor.
1764
01:14:12,160 --> 01:14:14,329
Everybody starts small.
1765
01:14:17,199 --> 01:14:18,468
Yeah.
1766
01:14:25,574 --> 01:14:26,639
What the fuck
just happened?
1767
01:14:26,641 --> 01:14:28,207
What is this?
1768
01:14:28,209 --> 01:14:29,876
What is this, dude?
Fix it.
1769
01:14:29,878 --> 01:14:30,611
Dude, fix it.
1770
01:14:32,213 --> 01:14:34,516
It's this shit fucking car,
dude.
1771
01:14:35,885 --> 01:14:37,050
Oh, I probably shouldn't
have played the radio
1772
01:14:37,052 --> 01:14:39,455
with the car turned off.
I think I drained the battery.
1773
01:14:40,355 --> 01:14:42,188
I gotta call
roadside service, I guess.
1774
01:14:42,190 --> 01:14:44,291
No, dude, that's not happening.
1775
01:14:44,293 --> 01:14:45,925
That's way too fucking long.
1776
01:14:45,927 --> 01:14:47,693
I'll be passed out
at that point.
1777
01:14:47,695 --> 01:14:49,595
I say we zonk out.
1778
01:14:49,597 --> 01:14:51,165
I'll set an alarm
for the morning.
1779
01:14:51,167 --> 01:14:52,435
We'll wake up
and take care of it.
1780
01:14:55,904 --> 01:14:58,404
Goddammit, all right, fine.
1781
01:14:58,406 --> 01:15:00,506
All right.
Good night, man.
1782
01:15:00,508 --> 01:15:02,377
Good night.
1783
01:15:04,613 --> 01:15:07,180
Despite all the bullshit, man,
today was
1784
01:15:07,182 --> 01:15:09,118
pretty fucking awesome.
1785
01:15:10,619 --> 01:15:12,555
Yeah, I'd say it was fun.
1786
01:15:15,557 --> 01:15:17,657
Good night.
1787
01:15:17,659 --> 01:15:19,328
Good night.
1788
01:15:51,726 --> 01:15:53,327
Alec.
1789
01:15:54,462 --> 01:15:57,331
Alec, wake up.
1790
01:15:57,333 --> 01:15:59,269
Turn the alarm off.
1791
01:16:07,243 --> 01:16:08,578
Holy shit.
1792
01:16:10,412 --> 01:16:12,315
What the fuck
are these people doing, man?
1793
01:16:12,981 --> 01:16:15,251
It's Sunday, dude.
They're going to church.
1794
01:16:16,985 --> 01:16:18,654
That makes sense.
1795
01:16:36,305 --> 01:16:37,507
All righty.
1796
01:16:43,745 --> 01:16:44,814
What?
1797
01:16:46,547 --> 01:16:49,452
Dude, how the fuck am I gonna
get three grand by today?
1798
01:16:53,422 --> 01:16:55,421
I don't know, is there anyone
at work that can help you out?
1799
01:16:55,423 --> 01:16:56,492
No.
1800
01:16:59,595 --> 01:17:02,765
No, man, my dad's gonna have
to pay for it.
1801
01:17:03,632 --> 01:17:05,568
He's gonna fucking kill me.
1802
01:17:06,568 --> 01:17:08,370
Shit.
1803
01:17:09,605 --> 01:17:11,470
I'm sorry, man.
1804
01:17:11,472 --> 01:17:12,774
It's okay.
1805
01:17:15,410 --> 01:17:17,512
I guess there's a lot of things
I need to change.
1806
01:17:20,783 --> 01:17:22,515
Shit, if this isn't
a wake-up call,
1807
01:17:22,517 --> 01:17:24,253
I don't wanna to see
what will be.
1808
01:17:28,723 --> 01:17:30,090
Dude, if there's anyone I know
1809
01:17:30,092 --> 01:17:32,326
who can get out
of this situation, it's you.
1810
01:17:32,328 --> 01:17:34,664
You'll figure something out.
Don't worry about it, man.
1811
01:17:36,498 --> 01:17:38,064
You know what?
You're right, I will, man.
1812
01:17:38,066 --> 01:17:39,532
I will figure something out.
Thank you.
1813
01:17:39,534 --> 01:17:41,434
Yeah, sure thing, man, yeah.
1814
01:17:41,436 --> 01:17:42,868
- Good hanging with you today.
- Yeah, you too, brother.
1815
01:17:42,870 --> 01:17:45,371
Yeah.
1816
01:17:45,373 --> 01:17:46,773
- Later.
- See you.
1817
01:17:48,110 --> 01:17:50,577
And hey, you should come up
to school some time
1818
01:17:50,579 --> 01:17:51,777
and visit me
and meet my friends.
1819
01:17:51,779 --> 01:17:53,546
I think you'd like them.
1820
01:17:53,548 --> 01:17:54,648
Yes, dude.
1821
01:17:54,650 --> 01:17:56,082
That sounds awesome.
Just let me know.
1822
01:17:56,084 --> 01:17:58,421
- I will.
- Cool.
1823
01:17:59,421 --> 01:18:01,388
Uh...
1824
01:18:01,390 --> 01:18:03,657
Hey, man, good luck
with the whole Machelle thing.
1825
01:18:03,659 --> 01:18:05,826
Yeah, thanks.
1826
01:18:05,828 --> 01:18:07,397
Cool.
1827
01:19:29,845 --> 01:19:30,747
Hey.
1828
01:19:33,614 --> 01:19:34,716
Hey.
1829
01:19:36,552 --> 01:19:37,951
Do you remember me?
1830
01:19:37,953 --> 01:19:40,754
Yeah, I do.
It's uh... it's...
1831
01:19:40,756 --> 01:19:41,921
- Amy.
- Amy. It's Amy, right.
1832
01:19:41,923 --> 01:19:44,724
Oh, my gosh.
It's so nice to see you.
1833
01:19:44,726 --> 01:19:45,759
Yeah, it's good to see you, too.
1834
01:19:45,761 --> 01:19:46,662
I didn't think I'd...
1835
01:19:47,895 --> 01:19:49,496
- I know. This is weird, right?
- Wow, this is really weird.
1836
01:19:49,498 --> 01:19:50,732
- Yeah.
- Uh...
1837
01:19:53,468 --> 01:19:55,469
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry about yesterday.
1838
01:19:55,471 --> 01:19:56,403
I'm so, so sorry.
1839
01:19:56,405 --> 01:19:57,571
I'm not, like, a drug dealer
or anything.
1840
01:19:57,573 --> 01:19:58,772
It's fine.
1841
01:19:58,774 --> 01:19:59,673
My friend, he's just like...
My friend from high school,
1842
01:19:59,675 --> 01:20:01,474
he's just, like,
out-of-his-mind crazy.
1843
01:20:01,476 --> 01:20:02,975
I, uh...
1844
01:20:02,977 --> 01:20:04,478
I'm sorry, that must have scared
the shit out of you.
1845
01:20:04,480 --> 01:20:05,379
It's okay.
1846
01:20:05,381 --> 01:20:07,680
Seriously, no.
I have crazy friends too.
1847
01:20:07,682 --> 01:20:09,014
- You do?
- Yeah.
1848
01:20:09,016 --> 01:20:10,082
So, okay, get this,
1849
01:20:10,084 --> 01:20:13,786
yesterday my friend
sold ecstasy to my brother.
1850
01:20:13,788 --> 01:20:15,221
- Was he a little brother or?
- Yeah, yeah, little brother.
1851
01:20:15,223 --> 01:20:16,022
Little brother, okay.
1852
01:20:16,024 --> 01:20:18,591
Yeah, he's 15, so, yeah.
1853
01:20:18,593 --> 01:20:19,559
- Okay.
- Yeah, little.
1854
01:20:19,561 --> 01:20:21,961
It's young to be doing ecstasy.
1855
01:20:23,565 --> 01:20:24,831
- Fuck, you must've been...
- Yeah, I know.
1856
01:20:24,833 --> 01:20:25,898
You must've been furious.
That's...
1857
01:20:25,900 --> 01:20:27,834
Oh, I was pissed.
1858
01:20:27,836 --> 01:20:29,605
So pissed but...
1859
01:20:30,638 --> 01:20:31,638
I think I was more just pissed
1860
01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:32,975
at being friends with her
in the first place.
1861
01:20:33,775 --> 01:20:35,445
You know? But...
1862
01:20:36,011 --> 01:20:37,710
What are you gonna do?
1863
01:20:37,712 --> 01:20:38,879
We all need crazy friends,
right?
1864
01:20:38,881 --> 01:20:41,581
I mean, they're the ones
we make all our memories with.
1865
01:20:41,583 --> 01:20:43,617
That's why we keep them around.
1866
01:20:43,619 --> 01:20:45,852
Yeah, that's true. There's...
1867
01:20:45,854 --> 01:20:50,023
There's no way I'll ever forget
these last two days, so...
1868
01:20:50,025 --> 01:20:51,461
I agree with you there.
1869
01:20:53,695 --> 01:20:55,565
That's for sure.
1870
01:21:01,970 --> 01:21:03,539
Uh...
1871
01:21:06,675 --> 01:21:07,577
It's...
1872
01:21:08,610 --> 01:21:10,480
It is really nice
to see you again.
1873
01:21:11,980 --> 01:21:13,915
It's really nice
seeing you, too.
1874
01:21:29,698 --> 01:21:31,066
Oh, wait.
1875
01:21:32,767 --> 01:21:34,733
Holy shit.
Wait, we're getting married?
1876
01:21:34,735 --> 01:21:36,870
Uh...
1877
01:21:36,872 --> 01:21:38,071
What?
1878
01:21:38,073 --> 01:21:40,307
No, I mean, like you seem
really nice and pretty and all,
1879
01:21:40,309 --> 01:21:42,675
but, uh,
1880
01:21:42,677 --> 01:21:44,109
I don't know, that's...
that's kind of crazy.
1881
01:21:44,111 --> 01:21:45,911
What are you talking about?
1882
01:21:45,913 --> 01:21:48,982
Fuck, it said in two years.
I don't...
1883
01:21:48,984 --> 01:21:50,716
I don't see myself
getting married
1884
01:21:50,718 --> 01:21:52,652
until I'm at least, like...
1885
01:21:52,654 --> 01:21:53,920
I don't know, like, 30.
1886
01:21:53,922 --> 01:21:55,688
Do you think you're
hot shit or something?
1887
01:21:55,690 --> 01:21:56,723
No, really, do you think
1888
01:21:56,725 --> 01:21:58,058
that I'm not
good enough for you?
1889
01:21:58,060 --> 01:21:59,359
Oh, no.
1890
01:21:59,361 --> 01:22:01,894
No, no, I wasn't saying that.
I was just saying, like, it's...
1891
01:22:01,896 --> 01:22:03,330
Well, I mean, you know,
it's a really big commitment...
1892
01:22:03,332 --> 01:22:04,798
It's a commitment?
1893
01:22:04,800 --> 01:22:05,832
You know, have fun
1894
01:22:05,834 --> 01:22:07,334
committing to jerking
yourself off every night.
1895
01:22:07,336 --> 01:22:08,803
You're a fucking virgin.
1896
01:22:09,337 --> 01:22:10,670
Wait, no, I'm not.
1897
01:22:10,672 --> 01:22:11,904
Yeah, yeah, you are.
1898
01:22:11,906 --> 01:22:14,040
I can smell it on you,
you fucking weirdo.
1899
01:22:14,042 --> 01:22:15,108
Oh, my God, I was just saying...
1900
01:22:15,110 --> 01:22:16,910
"Oh my God, I was just... I..."
1901
01:22:16,912 --> 01:22:18,812
You know what? Save it, okay.
1902
01:22:18,814 --> 01:22:20,850
I'm leaving.
Go fuck yourself.
1903
01:22:22,351 --> 01:22:23,886
Oh.
1904
01:22:25,354 --> 01:22:26,819
Oh...
1905
01:22:26,821 --> 01:22:28,955
We could get married, I...
1906
01:22:28,957 --> 01:22:30,991
Shit.
1907
01:22:30,993 --> 01:22:33,093
Shit. Okay.
1908
01:22:33,095 --> 01:22:34,693
Okay.
1909
01:22:34,695 --> 01:22:36,630
Fuck.
1910
01:22:36,632 --> 01:22:37,967
Fuck!
1911
01:22:51,846 --> 01:22:52,747
Fuck it.
1912
01:23:04,935 --> 01:23:09,935
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