All language subtitles for Animal.Practice.S01E05.Whos.Afraid.of.Virginia.Coleman.WEB-DL.x264-PJA.en

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,372 --> 00:00:51,620 So he should take this with every meal, or else-- 2 00:00:51,710 --> 00:00:53,143 I need to see Dr. Coleman. 3 00:00:53,211 --> 00:00:55,047 Ma'am, do you like those pearls not choking you? 4 00:00:55,167 --> 00:00:57,368 Now, if so, you need to wait your turn. 5 00:00:57,436 --> 00:01:00,638 Perhaps you'd prefer if they were choking you. 6 00:01:09,815 --> 00:01:11,716 Rizzo. Rizzo! 7 00:01:11,784 --> 00:01:16,487 What is wrong with you? I haven't seen you like thi-- 8 00:01:16,555 --> 00:01:18,122 Oh, no. 9 00:01:18,190 --> 00:01:21,392 Now, tell Dr. Coleman that Virginia is here to see him. 10 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,421 - I'm his-- - Mother. 11 00:01:28,534 --> 00:01:35,034 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 12 00:01:37,677 --> 00:01:41,277 1x05 Who's Afraid of Virginia Coleman? 13 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,082 Well, George, just look at this place. 14 00:01:44,149 --> 00:01:46,451 It's almost like a real hospital. 15 00:01:46,518 --> 00:01:48,086 How long do you have to do this 16 00:01:48,153 --> 00:01:49,487 before they let you work on humans? 17 00:01:49,555 --> 00:01:51,122 In the future, please make an appointment. 18 00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:52,657 There were animals ahead of you. 19 00:01:52,725 --> 00:01:54,459 Oh, please. So some schnauzer 20 00:01:54,526 --> 00:01:56,627 got to enjoy his testicles an extra half an hour. 21 00:01:56,695 --> 00:01:57,762 What's the big deal? 22 00:01:57,830 --> 00:01:59,364 When did you get a cat, anyway? 23 00:01:59,431 --> 00:02:00,965 Five years ago. 24 00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,834 It was a birthday gift to myself. 25 00:02:02,901 --> 00:02:05,103 Someone had to give me something. 26 00:02:05,170 --> 00:02:07,739 Anyway, if we saw each other more than one day a year, 27 00:02:07,806 --> 00:02:09,807 we might be able to talk about things, 28 00:02:09,875 --> 00:02:12,076 like... pets. 29 00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:14,278 We could also talk about ways I could kill myself. 30 00:02:14,346 --> 00:02:16,414 - Don't you have a regular vet? - Of course I do. 31 00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:18,149 But, you know, he made a pass at me. 32 00:02:18,217 --> 00:02:20,451 Normally I'd be flattered by that kind of thing, 33 00:02:20,519 --> 00:02:23,054 but really, who wants to date someone 34 00:02:23,122 --> 00:02:24,322 who spends half their life 35 00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:26,157 with his finger up a dog's keister? 36 00:02:26,225 --> 00:02:28,092 Speaking of which, are you seeing anybody? 37 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:29,293 Just my therapist. 38 00:02:29,361 --> 00:02:31,496 So how does Cat look? 39 00:02:31,563 --> 00:02:33,231 You named your cat "Cat"? 40 00:02:33,298 --> 00:02:34,699 All right. How creative. 41 00:02:34,767 --> 00:02:36,801 I guess I should be happy my name's not "Baby." 42 00:02:36,869 --> 00:02:39,137 It was until your father butted in. 43 00:02:39,204 --> 00:02:41,572 "The boy has to have a name, Virginia." 44 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,241 Really, he could be impossible. 45 00:02:43,308 --> 00:02:46,043 Well, like me, Cat has discharge 46 00:02:46,111 --> 00:02:47,345 coming from his ears. 47 00:02:47,413 --> 00:02:49,180 But with him, it's probably from an infection. 48 00:02:49,248 --> 00:02:50,715 I will run some tests. 49 00:02:50,783 --> 00:02:53,551 Well, if you need a second opinion, ask the Asian. 50 00:02:53,619 --> 00:02:57,355 They're very good with tests. 51 00:02:57,423 --> 00:03:00,024 It's fun having an office together, right? 52 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,859 Totally. 53 00:03:01,927 --> 00:03:03,561 I am getting my own, though, right? 54 00:03:03,629 --> 00:03:05,296 Yeah. As soon as one comes up. 55 00:03:05,364 --> 00:03:06,597 I really want you to be happy here, Jill. 56 00:03:06,665 --> 00:03:07,865 It's a fun environment. 57 00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:09,967 I'd like to say we put the "ha" in "hospital." 58 00:03:12,805 --> 00:03:15,573 Ah, case in point-- it's free lunch Friday. 59 00:03:15,641 --> 00:03:17,341 The winner gets to pick the restaurant. 60 00:03:17,409 --> 00:03:20,111 Come on, Arby's! 61 00:03:20,179 --> 00:03:21,979 Oh, man, red lobster again? 62 00:03:24,483 --> 00:03:27,919 That's Mr. Wesley. He's on the board. 63 00:03:27,986 --> 00:03:29,287 Oh, my God, I wonder what he's doing here 64 00:03:29,354 --> 00:03:30,421 okay, how do I look? 65 00:03:30,489 --> 00:03:31,856 You are asking the wrong girl. 66 00:03:31,924 --> 00:03:33,191 Right now, I'm wearing a pair of boxers 67 00:03:33,258 --> 00:03:34,826 that some guy left at my place last night. 68 00:03:34,893 --> 00:03:36,461 I thought you gave up anonymous sex. 69 00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:38,596 If I do that, the Craigslist killer wins. 70 00:03:38,664 --> 00:03:41,365 Okay. Okay. I'll be back. 71 00:03:45,170 --> 00:03:46,671 Hey. Whoa. 72 00:03:46,738 --> 00:03:49,307 You look like a Paul Giamatti movie, man. 73 00:03:49,374 --> 00:03:50,741 You been here all night? 74 00:03:50,809 --> 00:03:51,909 Yeah, Doug. While you were at home 75 00:03:51,977 --> 00:03:53,144 watching The Biggest Loser, 76 00:03:53,212 --> 00:03:56,147 I was investigating mysterious pigeon deaths. 77 00:03:56,215 --> 00:03:57,248 Eight pigeons in one week. 78 00:03:57,316 --> 00:03:58,449 You know there's, like, 79 00:03:58,517 --> 00:03:59,917 a billion pigeons in New York, right? 80 00:03:59,985 --> 00:04:01,352 I mean, chances are way more than eight 81 00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:02,487 of them died last week. 82 00:04:02,554 --> 00:04:05,189 - Look at this. - Okay. Oh. 83 00:04:05,257 --> 00:04:07,658 Each one of these pushpins represents a living pigeon. 84 00:04:07,726 --> 00:04:10,595 Oh, so that's where all the pushpins in the world went. 85 00:04:10,662 --> 00:04:12,396 Look at the Plaza on 59th street. 86 00:04:12,464 --> 00:04:14,832 - Yeah, what about it? - No pigeons. 87 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,667 So what? What are you getting at, yams? 88 00:04:16,735 --> 00:04:18,336 Somebody is poisoning these pigeons, 89 00:04:18,403 --> 00:04:19,470 and I'm gonna stop them. 90 00:04:19,538 --> 00:04:21,339 Are you in, or are you out? 91 00:04:21,406 --> 00:04:22,573 Definitely out. Yeah. 92 00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:24,008 I recommend that you be out too. 93 00:04:24,076 --> 00:04:25,209 You're turning your back on pigeons, huh? 94 00:04:25,277 --> 00:04:26,744 Well, you disgust me! 95 00:04:26,812 --> 00:04:29,580 If my mouth wasn't so dry, I'd spit right in your face. 96 00:04:29,648 --> 00:04:32,316 What? Why? 97 00:04:32,384 --> 00:04:35,119 Yams... What-- 98 00:04:35,187 --> 00:04:36,487 Wow. 99 00:04:36,555 --> 00:04:38,789 Yamamoto is like Yamamoto squared today. 100 00:04:38,857 --> 00:04:40,558 Mm-hmm. You didn't hear it from me, 101 00:04:40,626 --> 00:04:42,927 but I overheard him on the phone this morning. 102 00:04:42,995 --> 00:04:44,495 His wife kicked him out. 103 00:04:44,563 --> 00:04:46,831 - No. What? Really? - Yeah. 104 00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:50,167 Mr. Wesley, please, come in. 105 00:04:50,235 --> 00:04:53,137 Have a seat... In my chair. 106 00:04:53,205 --> 00:04:55,273 Ms. Crane, in your short tenure here, 107 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:56,941 this hospital has become slack. 108 00:04:57,009 --> 00:04:58,175 Productivity is low. 109 00:04:58,243 --> 00:05:01,279 Your break room resembles a Charles e. Cheese. 110 00:05:01,346 --> 00:05:04,181 Well, I like to think that we put the "ha" in "hospital." 111 00:05:04,249 --> 00:05:06,684 That makes no sense. Hospital is spelled with an "O." 112 00:05:06,752 --> 00:05:09,754 We wish you were more like your grandmother. 113 00:05:09,821 --> 00:05:12,323 She ruled with an iron fist and an acid tongue. 114 00:05:12,391 --> 00:05:14,325 Woe be the nurse who disobeyed her fearsome command, 115 00:05:14,393 --> 00:05:15,660 I can tell you. 116 00:05:15,727 --> 00:05:17,795 I know that I may run things a little differently, 117 00:05:17,863 --> 00:05:20,031 but I can assure you it is just as professional. 118 00:05:20,098 --> 00:05:22,233 Rizzo, give me my claw. 119 00:05:22,301 --> 00:05:24,735 You already ate my cheesy biscuits. 120 00:05:24,803 --> 00:05:26,704 Rizzo! 121 00:05:26,772 --> 00:05:30,074 It free lunch Friday, so... 122 00:05:30,142 --> 00:05:31,275 It's wacky. 123 00:05:34,146 --> 00:05:35,580 So that's his mother. 124 00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:37,982 I always assumed he was grown in a lab. 125 00:05:38,050 --> 00:05:41,085 Mother? George, we dated for two and a half years. 126 00:05:41,153 --> 00:05:42,720 You told me your mother was dead. 127 00:05:42,788 --> 00:05:44,789 Dead, Upper East Side, same thing. 128 00:05:44,856 --> 00:05:46,357 Why would you do something like that? 129 00:05:46,425 --> 00:05:48,960 I was protecting you. She senses weakness. 130 00:05:49,027 --> 00:05:51,762 Like a vulture swooping down on a sickly wildebeest, 131 00:05:51,830 --> 00:05:54,966 my mother would pick you apart piece by piece. 132 00:05:55,033 --> 00:05:57,501 Okay, cool. She's dead. 133 00:05:57,569 --> 00:05:59,704 George, you think your mother is bad? 134 00:05:59,771 --> 00:06:02,406 Mine had me doing beauty pageants at age four. 135 00:06:02,474 --> 00:06:04,241 My mother took me out of a school I loved 136 00:06:04,309 --> 00:06:07,378 because the principal had, "gypsy eyes." 137 00:06:07,446 --> 00:06:09,547 My mother slept with my principal, and we had to move. 138 00:06:09,615 --> 00:06:11,449 My mother said the reason my father left us 139 00:06:11,516 --> 00:06:12,750 is because I was too clingy. 140 00:06:12,818 --> 00:06:14,018 My mother once took me to a dump, 141 00:06:14,086 --> 00:06:16,354 let me play in a busted refrigerator with a dead mouse, 142 00:06:16,421 --> 00:06:18,255 - and told me it was Disneyland. - Seriously? 143 00:06:18,323 --> 00:06:19,957 No, I just got caught up in the moment. 144 00:06:20,025 --> 00:06:21,392 Either way, I just got to fix her cat, 145 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:23,961 find her a new vet, and get her back out of my life. 146 00:06:24,029 --> 00:06:27,031 Hey, I got the blood work back on your mother's cat. 147 00:06:30,002 --> 00:06:32,737 Well, look who'some for a visit. 148 00:06:32,804 --> 00:06:36,374 Come in quickly--you're letting in the stench of ethnic food. 149 00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:39,143 No one likes the smell of your pierogies, Mrs. Kazanski! 150 00:06:39,211 --> 00:06:42,179 I see you're still chairman of the welcoming committee. 151 00:06:42,247 --> 00:06:43,581 Fix me a drink, would you? 152 00:06:43,649 --> 00:06:45,249 You remember how I like it, don't you? 153 00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,984 Straight vodka in a tea cup? Yeah. 154 00:06:47,052 --> 00:06:49,620 I think I can figure that out. 155 00:06:49,688 --> 00:06:51,889 Listen, I'm here about Cat. 156 00:06:51,957 --> 00:06:53,357 How is he? He's all right, isn't he? 157 00:06:53,425 --> 00:06:56,456 He has a brain tumor, and it's malignant. 158 00:06:56,524 --> 00:06:59,993 I'm sorry. The prognosis is not good. 159 00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:01,828 He's all I have. 160 00:07:01,896 --> 00:07:04,297 If something happens to Cat, 161 00:07:04,365 --> 00:07:07,934 who'll keep me company during my baths? 162 00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:10,337 Let's move on to chapter five, George. 163 00:07:10,404 --> 00:07:12,939 And remember, Trop of Cancer needs 164 00:07:13,007 --> 00:07:15,241 to be read with emotion. 165 00:07:16,344 --> 00:07:18,979 Of course, if Cat does pass away, 166 00:07:19,046 --> 00:07:21,014 I'll need you, George. 167 00:07:21,082 --> 00:07:22,849 I'll need you more than ever. 168 00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:25,819 You know what? Sometimes miracles happen. 169 00:07:25,886 --> 00:07:26,987 I'll see what I can do. 170 00:07:27,054 --> 00:07:29,689 If you have any trouble, ask the Asian. 171 00:07:29,757 --> 00:07:32,559 George... 172 00:07:32,626 --> 00:07:34,227 Oh, Virginia, 173 00:07:34,295 --> 00:07:36,296 I thought I heard you out here. 174 00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:38,064 How's my little kitty cat? 175 00:07:38,132 --> 00:07:39,332 Well, my son took a look at him. 176 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,767 It's like your veterinarian said-- 177 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,502 he's probably gonna die. I'll let you know. 178 00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:44,371 You were so kind to volunteer 179 00:07:44,438 --> 00:07:46,406 to take him for a second opinion. 180 00:07:46,474 --> 00:07:49,976 - Ugh. - Okay, we'll talk later. 181 00:07:51,728 --> 00:07:52,922 People... 182 00:07:53,042 --> 00:07:55,063 We, here at Crane Hospital 183 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,717 have saved many an animal-- 184 00:07:56,785 --> 00:08:00,087 the albino mountain gorilla, the endangered snow leopard, 185 00:08:00,155 --> 00:08:01,822 the freshwater dolphin. 186 00:08:01,890 --> 00:08:04,725 But today comes the most important case 187 00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:07,361 of our collective careers... 188 00:08:07,429 --> 00:08:08,863 My mother's cat. 189 00:08:08,931 --> 00:08:10,231 Aw. - No, no, no. 190 00:08:10,299 --> 00:08:12,333 It's not an "aw" moment. I want her out of my life. 191 00:08:12,401 --> 00:08:16,237 And the only way to do that is to save this cat, 192 00:08:16,305 --> 00:08:19,106 for if it dies, I will be sucked in 193 00:08:19,174 --> 00:08:21,242 to fill the lonely void in her pathetic life. 194 00:08:21,310 --> 00:08:22,843 And there aren't enough vodka-filled tea cups 195 00:08:22,911 --> 00:08:25,246 on the Chinese-Russian border to make that bearable. 196 00:08:25,314 --> 00:08:27,648 George, she's bad, but she can't be that bad. 197 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,584 - Well, she's mean. - Well, you're mean. 198 00:08:29,651 --> 00:08:31,752 Well, I'm fun mean. She's mean mean. 199 00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,888 So let's go. All hands on deck. 200 00:08:41,630 --> 00:08:44,432 You know you're never gonna win that staring contest, right? 201 00:08:44,499 --> 00:08:46,934 George, what was my grandmother like as a boss? 202 00:08:47,002 --> 00:08:48,102 She was the best. 203 00:08:48,170 --> 00:08:51,238 No one ran a hospital like Eleanor Crane. 204 00:08:51,306 --> 00:08:54,675 But you're good too. Yeah. 205 00:09:10,659 --> 00:09:12,226 Grammy... 206 00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,295 How'd you do it? 207 00:09:14,363 --> 00:09:16,063 It was hard 208 00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:18,399 because I'm a painting. 209 00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:19,934 What is this place? 210 00:09:20,002 --> 00:09:22,136 This is my grandmother Eleanor's office. 211 00:09:22,204 --> 00:09:23,604 She passed away about a year ago. 212 00:09:23,672 --> 00:09:26,073 Wait a minute. Does that mean this office is open? 213 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:29,543 I never really felt worthy enough to take it over. 214 00:09:29,611 --> 00:09:31,545 The board loved her. 215 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:33,748 They don't think I can measure up. 216 00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:35,082 What do you think? 217 00:09:35,150 --> 00:09:39,086 I mean, you hired me. I think that was pretty genius. 218 00:09:39,154 --> 00:09:41,555 Did you know that I went to Columbia law school? 219 00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,824 And then I dropped out to start a bakery. 220 00:09:43,892 --> 00:09:45,793 I've failed at everything I've tried to do. 221 00:09:45,861 --> 00:09:48,029 I can't fail at this, 222 00:09:48,096 --> 00:09:51,065 or else I'm gonna be some 30-year-old flake 223 00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,400 living with a pig 224 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:53,834 and not even one that I can marry. 225 00:09:53,902 --> 00:09:55,302 I live with an actual pig. 226 00:09:55,370 --> 00:09:57,905 So make this place work. Kick some ass. 227 00:09:57,973 --> 00:10:01,075 I don't kick ass. I nurture ass. 228 00:10:01,143 --> 00:10:02,777 Well, it looks like your grandmother 229 00:10:02,844 --> 00:10:04,812 really ruled this place with an iron fist. 230 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,281 I mean, that is an ass kicker right there. 231 00:10:07,349 --> 00:10:08,382 You can do it. 232 00:10:08,450 --> 00:10:11,118 Yeah. 233 00:10:11,186 --> 00:10:13,020 Yeah. I can do it! 234 00:10:13,088 --> 00:10:16,090 That's a thumbtack. 235 00:10:19,961 --> 00:10:23,798 Aha. There you are. 236 00:10:23,865 --> 00:10:26,167 What are you doing sitting in the back of a running cab? 237 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,369 Be cool. I'm on a stakeout to catch the PPK killer. 238 00:10:28,437 --> 00:10:29,603 The what? 239 00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:32,006 The pigeon poison killer. Keep up, Jackson! 240 00:10:32,074 --> 00:10:33,507 Yams, I'm getting a little worried about you, man. 241 00:10:33,575 --> 00:10:34,909 Are you sure there's not something 242 00:10:34,976 --> 00:10:36,510 - you want to talk to me about? - Over there. 243 00:10:36,578 --> 00:10:38,446 That slimy degenerate-- that's our guy. 244 00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,281 Let me see. 245 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:44,051 That's an old man feeding pigeons! 246 00:10:44,119 --> 00:10:45,853 Oh, I wish I could live in your candyland world 247 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:47,621 of Teddy bears and footy pajamas. 248 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:50,658 - Let's move! - Hey, that will be 150 bucks. 249 00:10:50,726 --> 00:10:52,293 - Cover me, Jackson. - Huh? 250 00:10:55,764 --> 00:10:59,033 What the hell? 251 00:10:59,101 --> 00:11:00,935 Where's the foosball? 252 00:11:01,002 --> 00:11:03,170 Where is my "Daschunds do it better" magnet? 253 00:11:03,238 --> 00:11:04,538 Where's the nespresso machine? 254 00:11:04,606 --> 00:11:05,840 I had it all removed. 255 00:11:05,907 --> 00:11:07,875 Yes, there were far to many distractions in here. 256 00:11:07,943 --> 00:11:09,243 It was really affecting productivity. 257 00:11:09,311 --> 00:11:12,179 This is a break room, not a productivity room. 258 00:11:12,247 --> 00:11:13,748 Yeah, we're nurses. 259 00:11:13,815 --> 00:11:18,119 We're not nurses/people who are productive all the time/ 260 00:11:18,186 --> 00:11:19,220 nurse-- 261 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,921 I want my magnet back! 262 00:11:22,624 --> 00:11:23,624 You took Rizzo's dart board! 263 00:11:23,692 --> 00:11:26,160 Okay, you've left us no choice. 264 00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,728 Nurses... 265 00:11:27,796 --> 00:11:29,363 We're officially on slow-down. 266 00:11:29,431 --> 00:11:30,631 What's slow-down? 267 00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:35,369 Oh. Oh, okay. 268 00:11:35,437 --> 00:11:38,005 You're literally slowing down. 269 00:11:38,073 --> 00:11:40,574 Wow, that's clever. 270 00:11:49,785 --> 00:11:50,918 Nice day, huh? 271 00:11:50,986 --> 00:11:52,553 Oh, yeah, it's a beaut. 272 00:11:52,621 --> 00:11:55,456 Yes, sir, it sure is. 273 00:11:55,524 --> 00:11:58,058 I'm sick of your games, punk! Talk, damn it! 274 00:11:58,126 --> 00:12:00,060 Stop. Calm down, calm down. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sir. 275 00:12:00,128 --> 00:12:01,495 My friend is a little worked up. 276 00:12:01,563 --> 00:12:03,063 Oh, good, Jackson. Good cop, bad cop. 277 00:12:03,131 --> 00:12:06,300 - You're poisoning pigeons! - It's just stale bread. 278 00:12:06,368 --> 00:12:08,102 Well, then you won't mind if I have a little taste. 279 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,873 You're right. It's just stale bread. 280 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,209 But what else are you hiding? Cavity-search him! 281 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,243 What? I'm not doing that. No. 282 00:12:16,311 --> 00:12:17,478 Yams, calm down, okay? 283 00:12:17,546 --> 00:12:19,280 - They're just pigeons. - I will not calm down. 284 00:12:19,347 --> 00:12:21,749 These pigeons were trying to be the best husbands they could. 285 00:12:21,817 --> 00:12:24,585 But they've been ignored, berated, and mocked sexually. 286 00:12:24,653 --> 00:12:27,087 And God forbid they forget to TiVo Smash. 287 00:12:27,155 --> 00:12:29,924 Who's going to pay for the bread? 288 00:12:29,991 --> 00:12:32,626 Cover me, Jackson! 289 00:12:37,232 --> 00:12:40,201 Okay, nurses, I get it. Your point has been made. 290 00:12:40,268 --> 00:12:43,304 Back to work, chop-chop, at regular speed. 291 00:12:43,371 --> 00:12:46,574 You... heard... her... 292 00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,577 Nurses. 293 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:53,647 Chop... chop. 294 00:12:53,715 --> 00:12:55,416 Fine, have it your way, 295 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,085 as long as all of the work gets done around here. 296 00:12:58,153 --> 00:13:03,757 Get... her... done! 297 00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:06,293 Really, Rizzo? I expected more out of you. 298 00:13:07,562 --> 00:13:10,698 Well, the surgery's over. 299 00:13:10,765 --> 00:13:12,700 Well, I'm sure you did your best. 300 00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,668 Now it's time for me to move on. 301 00:13:14,736 --> 00:13:16,937 Why don't you come over later and we'll plan the funeral? 302 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,907 Then to get over my grief, perhaps a little cruise-- 303 00:13:19,975 --> 00:13:22,343 the Caribbean, maybe Copenhagen. 304 00:13:22,410 --> 00:13:24,211 Here, I'll just leave the brochures. 305 00:13:24,279 --> 00:13:27,848 Mother, wait. The cat survived. 306 00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:29,917 What? 307 00:13:34,456 --> 00:13:37,358 Well, I thought-- it's just, heh... 308 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:40,327 He was so sick. 309 00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:43,530 I thought he was beyond saving. 310 00:13:43,598 --> 00:13:45,165 Well, it's a happy day. Pay downstairs. 311 00:13:45,233 --> 00:13:47,001 And if I don't see you, have a great Thanksgiving, 312 00:13:47,068 --> 00:13:48,402 Christmas, and birthday. 313 00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:51,939 George... 314 00:13:52,007 --> 00:13:55,476 You are an excellent veterinarian. 315 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,611 What are you looking at me like that for? 316 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,580 I'm just waiting for the insult. 317 00:13:59,648 --> 00:14:02,216 - There's no insult. - There's always an insult. 318 00:14:02,284 --> 00:14:04,318 Not today. 319 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,153 I'm very proud of you. 320 00:14:21,770 --> 00:14:24,038 Yeah, I heard you guys were doing a slow-down 321 00:14:24,105 --> 00:14:25,172 to torture Dorothy. 322 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,541 Slowdown? This is my usual work speed. 323 00:14:27,609 --> 00:14:29,877 Hey, what's the matter? You look bummed. 324 00:14:29,945 --> 00:14:31,779 For the first time in my life, 325 00:14:31,846 --> 00:14:33,714 my mother told me she's proud of me. 326 00:14:33,782 --> 00:14:35,149 My mother told me she was proud of me 327 00:14:35,216 --> 00:14:36,583 when I won little miss Newark. 328 00:14:36,651 --> 00:14:38,619 Of course, she took it back when I tested positive 329 00:14:38,687 --> 00:14:40,387 for performance-enhancing drugs. 330 00:14:40,455 --> 00:14:42,790 Her cat died before I could even perform surgery. 331 00:14:42,857 --> 00:14:44,959 He was too sick. There was nothing I could do. 332 00:14:45,026 --> 00:14:47,127 What? I just saw her walk out of here with a cat, 333 00:14:47,195 --> 00:14:48,762 and it seemed more alive than she does. 334 00:14:48,830 --> 00:14:51,198 I got another tabby at the West Side shelter 335 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,599 and passed him off as hers. 336 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,902 Oh, that is dark! 337 00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:58,205 Like "a clown eating peanut butter alone in a closet" dark. 338 00:14:58,273 --> 00:15:00,140 Well, I guess I'm gonna have to-- 339 00:15:00,208 --> 00:15:01,575 Fake the new cat's death. 340 00:15:01,643 --> 00:15:02,943 Then everything will be back to normal. 341 00:15:03,011 --> 00:15:05,446 I was going to say tell the truth, 342 00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:07,414 'cause if I don't, I'm gonna feel guilty 343 00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:08,207 for the rest of my life. 344 00:15:08,334 --> 00:15:09,668 Of course, if I do, I'll be reading 345 00:15:09,736 --> 00:15:11,984 high-brow erotica to her for the rest of her life. 346 00:15:12,104 --> 00:15:13,539 All right, if you change your mind 347 00:15:13,606 --> 00:15:15,240 about the "fake cat death" thing, 348 00:15:15,308 --> 00:15:17,142 I know a guy. 349 00:15:17,210 --> 00:15:17,985 It's me. 350 00:15:23,386 --> 00:15:24,642 Hello, George. 351 00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:26,207 What are you doing here? 352 00:15:26,327 --> 00:15:27,761 There's something I have to tell you. 353 00:15:28,563 --> 00:15:30,573 It's about Cat. 354 00:15:30,693 --> 00:15:31,605 Where is he, anyway? 355 00:15:31,725 --> 00:15:33,834 Oh, he's somewhere around here... 356 00:15:33,902 --> 00:15:36,442 Scratching, eating lasagna, 357 00:15:36,822 --> 00:15:38,856 you know, doing cat things. 358 00:15:38,924 --> 00:15:39,958 Want some tea? 359 00:15:40,025 --> 00:15:41,059 No, thank you. 360 00:15:41,126 --> 00:15:42,460 I'm performing surgery this afternoon. 361 00:15:42,528 --> 00:15:46,397 Listen, Cat is not who you think he is. 362 00:15:46,465 --> 00:15:48,933 The truth is, he died before surgery. 363 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,375 What? 364 00:15:50,495 --> 00:15:53,171 I went to a shelter, replaced him with a similar cat. 365 00:15:53,238 --> 00:15:54,739 I was trying to spare your feelings. 366 00:15:54,807 --> 00:15:58,009 We both know the truth of the matter, George. 367 00:15:58,077 --> 00:16:02,647 You would go to any length to avoid spending time with me, 368 00:16:02,715 --> 00:16:04,983 just like your small-penised father! 369 00:16:05,050 --> 00:16:06,951 Please don't conjure that image again. 370 00:16:07,019 --> 00:16:09,087 I need some tea... and a son that doesn't loathe me, 371 00:16:09,154 --> 00:16:10,705 but mostly the tea. 372 00:16:12,958 --> 00:16:15,660 You know, these are silk pillows. 373 00:16:15,728 --> 00:16:17,328 I'm amazed that Cat hasn't shredded 'em. 374 00:16:17,396 --> 00:16:18,463 He's very well behaved. 375 00:16:18,530 --> 00:16:19,964 There's no cat hair on this sofa. 376 00:16:20,032 --> 00:16:22,967 - I don't let him up there. - Now that I think about it... 377 00:16:23,035 --> 00:16:25,236 - I don't smell a litter box. - He's potty trained. 378 00:16:25,304 --> 00:16:28,072 - What are you trying to get at? - You don't own a cat, do you? 379 00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:29,440 You've never owned a cat. 380 00:16:29,753 --> 00:16:31,454 Fine. It's the neighbor's. 381 00:16:31,521 --> 00:16:32,688 But I was helping her! 382 00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:34,738 I can't believe you lied to me. 383 00:16:34,858 --> 00:16:36,367 - You lied to me too. - You lied to me first. 384 00:16:36,487 --> 00:16:38,443 - You lied to me worse. - You never change. 385 00:16:38,563 --> 00:16:41,364 You wonder why I stay as far away from you as I can? 386 00:16:41,431 --> 00:16:43,667 Fine. Walk away! I hope I fall in the tub, 387 00:16:43,787 --> 00:16:46,936 and you find my cold, dead, wet body! 388 00:16:57,381 --> 00:16:59,815 I take it you saw the blood work results, huh? 389 00:16:59,883 --> 00:17:03,319 Yeah, no poison, just a simple Coryza virus. 390 00:17:03,387 --> 00:17:04,238 I may have overreacted. 391 00:17:04,358 --> 00:17:06,116 Yeah, it's possible. 392 00:17:06,236 --> 00:17:09,725 Um, look, I get that it's hard to be a pigeon, 393 00:17:09,793 --> 00:17:11,127 but pigeons need to remember 394 00:17:11,194 --> 00:17:12,862 that they have friends that are there for them. 395 00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,230 What I'm trying to say is, 396 00:17:14,298 --> 00:17:18,301 is that if any of these pigeons ever need a place to stay 397 00:17:18,368 --> 00:17:21,837 or someone to talk to or watch a movie with-- 398 00:17:21,905 --> 00:17:24,440 whatever it is, I'm here for them. 399 00:17:24,508 --> 00:17:26,175 So you wouldn't mind a pigeon stopping by 400 00:17:26,243 --> 00:17:28,077 without any warning, sleeping in your spare bedroom, 401 00:17:28,145 --> 00:17:29,278 even for a few weeks? 402 00:17:29,346 --> 00:17:31,414 No, not if that's what the pigeon needed. 403 00:17:31,481 --> 00:17:33,349 Thanks, Doug. That means a lot. 404 00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:35,518 - You got it, yams. - So this is Charlie. 405 00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:37,253 He needs ointment applied every three hours. 406 00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:38,821 You know that when we were talking about pigeons, 407 00:17:38,889 --> 00:17:40,189 we were talking about you, right? 408 00:17:40,257 --> 00:17:41,657 - We were? - Yeah. 409 00:17:41,725 --> 00:17:43,292 I was getting lost in the metaphor. 410 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,261 I heard about what's happening at home, okay? 411 00:17:45,329 --> 00:17:48,097 Now, if you need to, you can move in with me for a while. 412 00:17:50,167 --> 00:17:51,267 - Thanks, Doug. - Oh... 413 00:17:51,335 --> 00:17:53,135 You got it, buddy. 414 00:17:53,203 --> 00:17:55,171 Fair warning-- I like to free-ball it 415 00:17:55,238 --> 00:17:56,372 at the breakfast table. 416 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,307 Why do you say stuff like that? 417 00:17:58,375 --> 00:18:01,177 What's the big deal? 418 00:18:01,244 --> 00:18:03,612 She's a lonely old broad who tried something a little shady 419 00:18:03,680 --> 00:18:05,181 to get closer to her son. 420 00:18:05,248 --> 00:18:06,549 Are you actually defending her? 421 00:18:06,616 --> 00:18:07,917 You have a mother who's just as bad 422 00:18:07,985 --> 00:18:09,185 who you don't deal with. 423 00:18:09,252 --> 00:18:11,420 I never said that. I see my mother every week. 424 00:18:11,488 --> 00:18:12,888 What? Why? 425 00:18:12,956 --> 00:18:15,358 You can't just walk away when they do something crazy, 426 00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:17,827 like fake-own a cat or light your dad on fire. 427 00:18:17,894 --> 00:18:19,862 The point is, at the end of the day, 428 00:18:19,930 --> 00:18:21,831 your mother's still your mother. 429 00:18:28,405 --> 00:18:31,908 Your grandmother always had the good stuff. 430 00:18:31,975 --> 00:18:33,843 Looks like, uh, we could use some, hmm? 431 00:18:33,911 --> 00:18:35,845 Uh, no, thanks. 432 00:18:35,913 --> 00:18:37,046 That bourbon's been sitting there 433 00:18:37,114 --> 00:18:38,214 for at least a year. 434 00:18:38,282 --> 00:18:39,849 You don't understand bourbon, do you? 435 00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,484 Figures. 436 00:18:41,552 --> 00:18:43,386 I can't run a hospital like her. 437 00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:44,954 I guess I can't drink like her either. 438 00:18:45,022 --> 00:18:46,823 Why would you want to run this place like Eleanor? 439 00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:49,525 Uh, because the board loves her 440 00:18:49,593 --> 00:18:51,994 and her loveable yet iron fist. 441 00:18:52,062 --> 00:18:54,597 I don't know where you're getting your information. 442 00:18:54,665 --> 00:18:56,532 The board hated your grandmother. 443 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:58,868 No, they didn't. They can't stop singing her praises. 444 00:18:58,936 --> 00:19:00,870 Dorothy, they loathed her. 445 00:19:00,938 --> 00:19:03,005 Look, she kept all the old memos from the board. 446 00:19:03,073 --> 00:19:04,841 We used to read these for fun. 447 00:19:04,908 --> 00:19:07,743 Here we go. "May 7, 1962. 448 00:19:07,811 --> 00:19:09,412 "We understand you are a woman, 449 00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:11,047 "but even by those low standards, 450 00:19:11,114 --> 00:19:12,748 "your incompetency is shocking. 451 00:19:12,816 --> 00:19:15,918 "The staff, mostly comprised of beatniks and Catholics, 452 00:19:15,986 --> 00:19:18,421 - woefully neglect their duties." - Wow. 453 00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:20,323 I know. Can you believe we used to hire Catholics? 454 00:19:20,390 --> 00:19:23,993 They hated her, George. They hate me too. 455 00:19:24,061 --> 00:19:27,563 I guess I'm more like my grandmother than I thought. 456 00:19:27,631 --> 00:19:29,165 I think I can make this work. 457 00:19:29,233 --> 00:19:30,533 Yeah, you can, 458 00:19:30,601 --> 00:19:32,768 'cause you care about this place as much as she did. 459 00:19:32,836 --> 00:19:36,239 Just run it your own way, Dorothy, hmm? 460 00:19:36,306 --> 00:19:39,275 Except when it comes to me. I still do whatever. 461 00:19:39,343 --> 00:19:42,678 Whoo! I'm on my fifth espresso! 462 00:19:42,746 --> 00:19:45,448 Yeah, that was, like, my sixth double shot. 463 00:19:45,515 --> 00:19:47,049 That's like ten regular shots. 464 00:19:47,117 --> 00:19:49,685 I'm freaking out, man. Cool. 465 00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:51,454 Looks like the slow-down's over. 466 00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:54,357 Yeah. I'm done trying to be my grandmother. 467 00:19:54,424 --> 00:19:56,292 Good for you. Then there's no way 468 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:58,361 that you can keep using her office, right? 469 00:19:58,428 --> 00:20:00,062 Oh, why, I haven't really thought about it. 470 00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:01,397 Great. I will take it. 471 00:20:01,465 --> 00:20:03,266 It's the least you can do for the awesome advice 472 00:20:03,333 --> 00:20:06,002 I gave you that totally backfired. Bye. 473 00:20:09,239 --> 00:20:10,840 You got me a turtle. 474 00:20:10,907 --> 00:20:12,975 Well, I didn't want you to be lonely. 475 00:20:13,043 --> 00:20:16,612 Thank you. 476 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,980 I guess you'll be off, then. 477 00:20:18,048 --> 00:20:21,317 You know, turtles are pretty hearty animals, 478 00:20:21,384 --> 00:20:24,687 but, uh, just in case... 479 00:20:24,754 --> 00:20:27,756 I'll come by to check on him once a month. 480 00:20:27,824 --> 00:20:29,959 I think he could stand to be looked at twice a month. 481 00:20:30,026 --> 00:20:32,378 I don't think he could stand that. 482 00:20:32,429 --> 00:20:34,897 How about once every three weeks 483 00:20:34,965 --> 00:20:36,799 and your birthday and Christmas? 484 00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:40,569 That would be lovely. 485 00:20:40,637 --> 00:20:44,940 I'll name him... Turtle. 486 00:20:45,008 --> 00:20:46,511 I had a feeling, yeah. 487 00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:53,703 - Good night. - Good night. 488 00:20:53,771 --> 00:20:54,905 See you tomorrow. 489 00:20:56,212 --> 00:20:57,340 Where's Rizzo? 490 00:20:58,742 --> 00:21:00,610 Oh, he's doing me a solid. 491 00:21:00,678 --> 00:21:02,646 Oh, okay. 492 00:21:07,518 --> 00:21:10,687 Somehow, this just isn't the same. 493 00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:20,798 www.addic7ed.com 36723

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.