All language subtitles for Superstore s04e05_Eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:04,874 2 00:00:04,917 --> 00:00:07,485 - Hey guys, we're heading to the hospital to have the baby. 3 00:00:07,529 --> 00:00:09,270 - Oh, my God. Are you in labor? 4 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:12,447 - No, but the baby's a week late so we are inducing 5 00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:15,015 and it's no fault of Dina's 6 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:16,581 that she did not deliver on schedule. 7 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,670 - Yeah, well, by the way you only paid me for 40 weeks 8 00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:20,150 so I will be charging you overtime. 9 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:22,718 - Well, when I don't get a package on time 10 00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:26,069 the shipping company gives me a refund and an apology. 11 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:28,071 Anyway, you all have my cell phone number 12 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,508 but only call if it is a true emergency 13 00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:33,120 like a fire, or a big storm, or a robbery, okay? 14 00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:36,340 - What if a celebrity comes in the store like Alec Baldwin, 15 00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:39,082 or Billy Baldwin, or Stephen Baldwin? 16 00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,475 - It doesn't matter which Baldwin-- 17 00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:42,694 you don't need to call. Just enjoy. 18 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,348 - Uh, Glenn, can I give you a call 19 00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:46,089 if I really, really, miss you? 20 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:48,352 - Aww, of course you can. 21 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,572 Any other questions? Yes? 22 00:00:50,615 --> 00:00:52,356 - Do you have any room in your car? 23 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:54,358 I think maybe my water just broke. 24 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:56,534 all: Oh! - Oh, my God. 25 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,449 - No, no. You're not due for another three weeks. 26 00:00:58,493 --> 00:01:00,190 - Oh yeah, that's right. Never mind. 27 00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,236 - Thanks a lot, Amy. You got it on my shoes. 28 00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,499 - Oh, no, those shoes were so cool. 29 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,196 - 'Kay, come on. Let's get to the hospital. 30 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,589 - I'm gonna get your stuff. - Thank you. 31 00:01:07,632 --> 00:01:08,720 - Oh, what? 32 00:01:08,764 --> 00:01:10,766 - See Dina? Amy had her baby early. 33 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,202 Was that so hard? 34 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,986 - You're such a kiss-ass. - I didn't choose today. 35 00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:16,989 [upbeat music] 36 00:01:17,033 --> 00:01:19,340 ♪ 37 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:23,431 - Okay, I got your fluffy socks, your cellphone charger, 38 00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:25,781 also got a copy of "Us Weekly" in case you wanted to see 39 00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:28,392 a four-page spread of Gwen Stefani pumping gas. 40 00:01:28,436 --> 00:01:30,960 - Ah, I love it when they pump their own gas. 41 00:01:31,003 --> 00:01:32,440 - Hey, Amy! 42 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,311 Look quick--I see a hummingbird out my window. 43 00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:36,705 Do you see it? - Uh-huh. 44 00:01:36,748 --> 00:01:38,272 - I don't think you're really looking. 45 00:01:38,315 --> 00:01:41,840 - I am. - What color is it? 46 00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,321 - Green? 47 00:01:44,365 --> 00:01:47,107 - Yeah, okay. It's nice, right? 48 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:48,934 - So nice. 49 00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:55,419 - Okay, uh, you seem to be all set, so I guess I'm gonna go? 50 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,465 - Oh. - I mean, I don't have to. 51 00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:58,683 - I'm fine staying here-- - No, no, no, no. 52 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,163 - Or if you want me to stay I can-- 53 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:02,252 - You can go if-- - [stammers] You tell me 54 00:02:02,296 --> 00:02:03,427 what you want me to do. 55 00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,603 - Um, well, I mean, 56 00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,779 I don't want you to feel like you have to stay, 57 00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:11,174 but I don't want you to feel like you can't stay. 58 00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:14,395 - Okay, cool, so then I'll just... 59 00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,571 Sorry, still no idea. 60 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:20,183 - I think I want you here, but, like, not here-here. 61 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:21,619 Just like, around. 62 00:02:21,663 --> 00:02:23,447 You know how like at The Cheesecake Factory 63 00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:25,275 they give you a buzzer and you just have to stay 64 00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,798 within a certain radius? 65 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,410 - Buzzer radius, got it. Okay. So, yeah, I'll just stay 66 00:02:29,453 --> 00:02:32,326 in the general vicinity at an appropriate distance 67 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,676 for a guy you're dating who is not the father. 68 00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:38,549 - Oh! The father. I should tell Adam. 69 00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,029 - Yeah. 70 00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:43,032 [Seal's "Kiss from a Rose"] 71 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,469 ♪ My eyes become large 72 00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:50,735 ♪ And the light that you shine can be seen ♪ 73 00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:53,303 - That makes no sense. You would get sick. 74 00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:54,696 - I'm not saying you wouldn't get sick. 75 00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:56,306 I'm just saying that every arrangement 76 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,395 is technically an edible arrangement. 77 00:02:58,439 --> 00:03:00,136 - Glenn, today is all about Dina. 78 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,485 If she wants to eat the flowers, 79 00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:03,008 let her eat the flowers. 80 00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,488 - Knock-knock. Hi. 81 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:06,316 I'm Dr. Sidian, I'm the attending on the floor. 82 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,883 - Holy crap. 83 00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,624 - I know Dr. Meyer is on her way, but in case you guys 84 00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,234 need anything before she gets here, 85 00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,627 I'm around. - Yeah. 86 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:15,195 - Any questions, pain meds, perfect martini. 87 00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:18,807 - [laughing] Martini. 88 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:21,201 [as James Bond] Shaken, not stirred, Mr. Bond. 89 00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:22,811 - [laughing] That's Dr. Bond. 90 00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:26,031 - Oh, wow, yes! - I'm around. Give me a call. 91 00:03:26,075 --> 00:03:28,251 - Yeah, he's an attractive man. 92 00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:30,035 - I think we should switch to Dr. Sidian. 93 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:33,038 - No, but we've been seeing Dr. Meyer for nine months. 94 00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:34,692 - Yeah, I just feel more comfortable with this guy. 95 00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:37,129 Honestly, I was never a Dr. Meyer fan. 96 00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:39,915 I didn't want to say anything but during one of our exams 97 00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:42,265 she was accidentally looking into my butt the whole time. 98 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,962 I think she got confused, 99 00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,399 and I felt bad correcting her. 100 00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:47,009 - Glenn, this is about Dina and her needs. 101 00:03:47,052 --> 00:03:48,793 If she feels more comfortable with this doctor, 102 00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:51,579 then that's all that matters. 103 00:03:51,622 --> 00:03:55,322 - Fine, we'll go with Doctor Stranger-we-just-met. 104 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,541 - Thank you, Jerusha. Also, for my comfort, 105 00:03:57,585 --> 00:03:59,195 would you be able to go to my apartment 106 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,936 and get this camisole? 107 00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,546 It's silky, very sheer, 108 00:04:02,590 --> 00:04:03,808 and also my make-up bag? 109 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:06,333 - Sure, whatever you need. - Thanks. 110 00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,073 - Oh, and honey, watch out for the bird. 111 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,161 She has a falcon now. 112 00:04:09,205 --> 00:04:11,338 - Ah, will do. - Okay. 113 00:04:11,381 --> 00:04:15,037 - And grab a push-up bra! - Okay! 114 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,560 We parked this way. 115 00:04:16,604 --> 00:04:19,563 - Oh, my God! All right, yeah, awesome, great. 116 00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,826 I've just gotta drop off my friend Steve at karate 117 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,828 and I will be right there. Which hospital? 118 00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:26,962 - Uh, Mercy Vale Medical Center, room... 119 00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,616 - 417. 120 00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,139 - 417. 121 00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:32,272 - Was that Jonah? 122 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:36,667 - Uh, um, yes? 123 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:40,367 That--that is Jonah. He's here... 124 00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,412 and so is Glenn. 125 00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:48,331 And Dina. The whole--the whole funky bunch is here. 126 00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:52,117 I gotta go, I'll see you soon. Okay, bye. 127 00:04:52,161 --> 00:04:55,599 - So Adam doesn't know about us? 128 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:59,995 - No, because I--I--I didn't want to tell him. 129 00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:02,302 - Oh. Okay. 130 00:05:02,345 --> 00:05:05,174 - I mean, not--not--not because we're doing something wrong. 131 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:07,350 It's just that, um... 132 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,657 Just didn't seem like that big of a deal. 133 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:13,661 - Oh, okay, well that makes me feel better. 134 00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:17,447 - Okay, I'm having everybody sign two cards. 135 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:20,145 One for Amy and the whole Glenn, Dina, Jerusha mess. 136 00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,017 I thought the butterflies was perfect for Amy because, 137 00:05:22,060 --> 00:05:23,845 you know, she's entering a new phase in her life 138 00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:27,805 and this one has balloons because, you know, Glenn. 139 00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:30,982 - Little more information than I need, but... 140 00:05:33,245 --> 00:05:38,294 - Thank you. "Happy 0th birthday." 141 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,601 Cute. 142 00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:42,516 - Wait, wait. Hold up. What's wrong with that? 143 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:46,215 - Oh, nothing. This is fine. It's funny. 144 00:05:46,258 --> 00:05:47,651 - I mean, I wasn't, you know-- 145 00:05:47,695 --> 00:05:49,174 I was just going off the top of my head. 146 00:05:49,218 --> 00:05:50,828 I wasn't trying to be, like, hilarious or anything. 147 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,830 - Okay. 148 00:05:52,874 --> 00:05:55,659 - You know, I'm gonna take another look at it. 149 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:58,183 - Up to you. Just pass it along when you're done. 150 00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:00,098 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 151 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:07,105 [chuckling] Yes. 152 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,629 Nah. 153 00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:11,022 - Hi, can I get the dad's insurance card? 154 00:06:11,066 --> 00:06:13,590 - Oh, no, he's not the dad. - Oh, I'm sorry. 155 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:17,072 - Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't mean, "He's not the dad," 156 00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,378 like I was having an affair 157 00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:19,683 and got knocked up by some rando. 158 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:22,251 I just mean that the man I had sex with, 159 00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,340 he is the father of this baby. 160 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,559 - I understand. 161 00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,212 I'm not a nurse but we take a class. 162 00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:30,825 The reason I'm asking is we don't accept your insurance. 163 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:32,304 - What? 164 00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,176 - Oh, but her coworker's having a baby in the next room 165 00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,699 and you take their insurance. 166 00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:38,223 - Well, looks like they're on a different plan. 167 00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:44,621 They have health shield bronze and what you have is different. 168 00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,275 - And by different you mean...? 169 00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:47,668 - Worse. It's worse. 170 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,887 - Of course. Corporate takes care of the managers 171 00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:51,541 and the rest of us get the scraps. 172 00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:53,413 - Can we please not do all of that right now? 173 00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:54,892 - So, you could pay out of pocket, 174 00:06:54,936 --> 00:06:56,851 but the room is about two grand a night. 175 00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,330 - Whoa. 176 00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,115 - Or there's a clinic nearby that accepts your insurance. 177 00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:04,815 - Okay, and the clinic is good, right? 178 00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,862 - It's been there for years. 179 00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:10,865 - That didn't answer my question. 180 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,128 Oh, God. 181 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:15,086 [overlapping coughs] 182 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:18,350 - Can I finish complaining 183 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,874 about healthcare inequality now? 184 00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:20,962 - No. 185 00:07:26,054 --> 00:07:26,228 . 186 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:28,665 - Can't believe my baby's going to be born in a hospital 187 00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,232 that looks like an escape room. 188 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:34,497 - I--I like it here. That other hospital was snobby. 189 00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:37,500 - This is, um-- you know, this is down to Earth. 190 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,850 It's connected to the community. It's diverse. 191 00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,896 - I don't want diverse right now. 192 00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:43,506 I want to be in the hospital 193 00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,986 where only rich white people go. 194 00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,378 I want to feel deeply uncomfortable 195 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,902 that I'm the only brown person there. 196 00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:50,295 - We just have to make the best of it, okay? 197 00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:53,821 Honestly, you look around, it's kinda roomy once you-- 198 00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,518 Oh, my God. 199 00:07:55,562 --> 00:07:59,174 Uh, hi, sorry. I'm Jonah. This--this is... 200 00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:03,831 - Is she sleeping with her eyes open or... 201 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:06,529 - Yes, let's go with that. 202 00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,139 - Ah. 203 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:09,924 - Hey Garrett, do you have the baby cards? 204 00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:11,403 I need to sign them. 205 00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:12,840 - Yeah, I'm just putting the finishing touches on it. 206 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:16,104 - Oh, boy. Mr. Hilarious at work. 207 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,409 What are you writing? 208 00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:20,674 - Um, well, you are about to see. 209 00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:23,111 - Ah, I love the creative process. 210 00:08:23,154 --> 00:08:26,244 I bet it's gonna be so funny. Here we go. 211 00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:32,207 I can't even imagine all the ideas in your head right now. 212 00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,774 I bet even the bad ones are genius. 213 00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:36,037 - Yup, uh-huh, but you know, I just need to concentrate. 214 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:37,429 - Okay, oh, boy. 215 00:08:37,473 --> 00:08:39,867 You are really cooking up something good. 216 00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:42,565 I can smell the creative juices. 217 00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:45,742 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 218 00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:48,310 - Your hours must be pretty crazy, huh? 219 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:49,572 All those late night pages 220 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,879 putting a real strain on the marriage. 221 00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,489 - I'm not married. 222 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,709 - Oh, wow. Didn't realize we were getting so personal. 223 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:59,451 - I'm not married either, so, something in common. 224 00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:04,326 - Well, I am married, but I wish I wasn't 225 00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:08,025 'cause then I could hit on this bodacious babe. 226 00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:10,027 - Glenn, that hurts my feelings. 227 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,768 [whispering] - Oh, no, it's for Dina. 228 00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:12,856 She really likes him. 229 00:09:12,900 --> 00:09:15,119 - Oh. 230 00:09:15,163 --> 00:09:17,382 You know, I've never been with a woman before, 231 00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:20,429 but I would switch over for Dina. 232 00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:25,869 - Well, not happening. I'm, uh--I'm very straight. 233 00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,436 - I'm gonna check your cervix now. 234 00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:31,527 - Oh, man am I jealous of you, buddy. 235 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:37,098 [Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl"] 236 00:09:37,141 --> 00:09:39,274 ♪ And she's loving him with that body ♪ 237 00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:43,060 ♪ I just know it, and he's holding her in his arms ♪ 238 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,327 - [laughing] This is a funny card. 239 00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:50,502 - Huh? 240 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,766 - "Congrats on your new bundle of joy. 241 00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:56,030 If you'd like to name them after me, that's cool." 242 00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:57,814 Pretty funny, right? 243 00:09:57,858 --> 00:09:58,902 - That card's blank. 244 00:09:58,946 --> 00:10:00,643 - Just, is it funny or not? 245 00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:01,905 - I guess it was cute. 246 00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:03,211 - Cute. 247 00:10:03,254 --> 00:10:05,126 - Are you still working on the cards? 248 00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:06,606 Just write anything. 249 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,042 They're just going to throw it away anyway. 250 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:10,784 - No, I'm gonna sign the damn cards. 251 00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,089 - Hey, do you guys sell 252 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:15,310 interfaith wedding cards for dogs? 253 00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:18,356 [uncomfortable groaning] 254 00:10:20,141 --> 00:10:21,359 - That's a contraction, right? 255 00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:22,752 - Yep. - Okay. 256 00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,928 - Just assume today that anytime I make this face 257 00:10:24,972 --> 00:10:26,190 and these noises it's a contraction. 258 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:27,452 - Yeah, got it. Got it. 259 00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:30,412 Where is the doctor? This is crazy. 260 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,675 - I'm gonna--I'm gonna page him. 261 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:36,679 - Oh. It just kinda fell into darkness. 262 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,639 - It's fine, it's fine, it's totally fine. 263 00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:42,903 Women have been birthing for thousands of years 264 00:10:42,946 --> 00:10:45,340 in all kinds of disgusting places. 265 00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:50,301 In the woods, in caves, with wolves and coyotes 266 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:52,608 lurking to eat them and their young. 267 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,699 I'm in a hospital; I at least have a blanket. 268 00:10:56,743 --> 00:10:59,354 And that is an old Band-Aid. 269 00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:01,704 - Okay, that's--that's it. 270 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:02,836 I'm gonna pay for the nice hospital. 271 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,533 - What? 272 00:11:04,576 --> 00:11:06,143 - No, I can--I can afford it between what I have in my bank 273 00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,405 and my credit cards. 274 00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:08,624 No, I'm not gonna let you do that. 275 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,104 - Why? Why not? 276 00:11:10,147 --> 00:11:13,934 - Because, that's just, like-- We're not really at the-- 277 00:11:13,977 --> 00:11:17,372 no, that's--it's weird. But thank you. 278 00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:20,027 - Okay, all right, well that's one vote for no, 279 00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,159 one vote for yes, uh, 280 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:25,554 why don't we have your roommate break the tie? 281 00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,646 - Okay, let's go, but I'm paying you back. 282 00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:33,736 . 283 00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,347 - Oh, it's so clean and comfortable. 284 00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:41,265 And the air smells so good, and these pillows. 285 00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:43,615 This is an unbelievable pillow. 286 00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:44,747 We should come back here. 287 00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,314 - I'm glad you're happy. 288 00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:47,968 - Hello, again. 289 00:11:48,011 --> 00:11:51,623 - Hey, girl. So glad to be back. 290 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:54,670 - Okay, and as far as the payment goes? 291 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,412 - Yes, um, Jonah? Pay the nice lady. 292 00:11:57,455 --> 00:12:01,111 - Right, okay, so if you could put $500 on each of these cards 293 00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:03,766 and then I'll write you a check for the other $1,000. 294 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,247 - Okay, and how would you like to pay for the rest? 295 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:08,510 - The--you said it was $2,000? 296 00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:11,643 - Yes, for the room, but then you have delivery doctor, 297 00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,167 lab fees, anesthesia. 298 00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:17,040 Altogether you're looking at about $20,000. 299 00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,739 - For one baby? 300 00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:21,566 - Mm-hmm. - Oh, God. 301 00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:24,308 - So, I'll let you two figure out 302 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:28,486 what you want to do, although, well you know. 303 00:12:28,530 --> 00:12:31,228 - Guess we're going back to the clinic. 304 00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:33,665 - [sighs] 305 00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:37,147 - You're taking the pillow? 306 00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:40,629 - You mean the pillow that I brought from home? 307 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:43,066 Yeah, why wouldn't I? 308 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,460 - Okay, so we need to come up with one good message 309 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:46,983 that's from all of us. 310 00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,680 - What's wrong with the ones that we already wrote? 311 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:52,946 - Uh, well, a lot of them were offensive. 312 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:54,730 And I'm not gonna name any names, 313 00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:57,254 but it was Carol. 314 00:12:57,298 --> 00:12:58,386 - What? 315 00:12:58,429 --> 00:12:59,430 I wrote, "Welcome to the world." 316 00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:01,258 - Mm-hmm, yeah, the world 317 00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:04,522 that's full of violence and racism 318 00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,350 so, welcome to violence and racism. 319 00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:07,351 Nice, Carol. 320 00:13:07,395 --> 00:13:09,353 - Nice job, Carol. 321 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,529 - You know I can fit 40 cherries in my mouth? 322 00:13:11,573 --> 00:13:13,836 Any more than that and I throw up. 323 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,404 - Okay, then don't do that. 324 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:17,927 - [chuckles] 325 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:20,495 - So, baby's fine. It's in a transverse position, though. 326 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,975 It's sideways. I thought I could turn it 327 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,846 but we're gonna have to do a C-section. 328 00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,326 - Oh, goodness. - Oh. 329 00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:28,242 - Surgery. Where you, uh, cut me open, huh? 330 00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:29,634 - Uh, nope. Actually, this way. 331 00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:32,420 - Oh. East/West situation. 332 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,943 - That's correct. - Okay. 333 00:13:33,987 --> 00:13:36,728 - I had an aunt who tore from her anus 334 00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:39,122 all the way up to the front. 335 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:42,169 So... 336 00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:44,040 - [groaning] 337 00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:46,738 Oh, God. I should have just done this at home. 338 00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,784 My Aunt delivered her baby in her Jacuzzi 339 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,394 and he turned out fine. 340 00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:52,875 No, actually he sucks. His parents are Jacuzzi people. 341 00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,051 - Okay, just--just breathe. You're doing great. 342 00:13:55,095 --> 00:13:56,357 - Ahhhhhh. 343 00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,749 - That's right, just pick a point in the room 344 00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,621 and focus on it, okay? 345 00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,623 - Okay. - No, no, no. Not the corpse. 346 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:02,798 Not the corpse. 347 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,582 - It's too late, I'm locked in. 348 00:14:04,626 --> 00:14:07,455 - Hello, and how are we today? 349 00:14:07,498 --> 00:14:09,979 - Ohhh, um, old? 350 00:14:10,023 --> 00:14:13,591 No, no, sorry. Uh, I'm fine. You're old. 351 00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:15,332 - Are you, uh, are you going to be 352 00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:18,596 the main doctor delivering the baby? 353 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,773 - Oh, no. That would be my father. 354 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:25,299 Just kidding. - Ha ha. Funny. 355 00:14:25,342 --> 00:14:28,737 - Are you--are you, uh, looking for something? 356 00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,782 - I don't remember. 357 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:36,005 - How about, "Best wishes from Cloud 9"? 358 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,399 - No offense, but I hate that. - Yeah. 359 00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:41,924 - What about, "Best wishes from your Cloud 9 family?" 360 00:14:41,968 --> 00:14:44,927 - Um, family feels a little weird since a lot of us 361 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:47,147 are banging each other. Guilty! 362 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,757 - I think we should write something funny. 363 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,280 I mean, people like funny, right? 364 00:14:50,324 --> 00:14:52,543 - Yeah, okay Earl. That sounds easier than it is. 365 00:14:52,587 --> 00:14:55,111 Uh, why don't we not embarrass ourselves by even trying. 366 00:14:55,155 --> 00:14:58,027 - Yeah, but-- [chuckling] 367 00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,290 I was thinking it could be funny, because, 368 00:15:00,334 --> 00:15:02,989 it's like so twisted [laughing]. 369 00:15:03,032 --> 00:15:05,121 It makes you laugh, 'cause it's like, crazy. 370 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:08,081 [laughing together] - Right? 371 00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:12,172 Am I right or am I right? I'm right! 372 00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:13,869 - He's right, you should do that. 373 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,827 - Do what? He didn't say anything. 374 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:18,874 [all cracking up] 375 00:15:21,181 --> 00:15:23,835 - All right, on the next contraction 376 00:15:23,879 --> 00:15:25,968 you're gonna push for three ten-counts. 377 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,665 - No, no, we can't start pushing. 378 00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:28,971 The father's not here yet. 379 00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:30,625 - I thought it was this guy? 380 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,192 - N-no. 381 00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:35,630 - Who are you? The gay best friend? I see a lot of that. 382 00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:38,850 - No, no, no, I'm just-- I'm actually, um, 383 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,852 I actually, I don't know what I am. 384 00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,202 We haven't really talked about it. 385 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,987 - [stammers] I don't know, we're dating, maybe? 386 00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:46,858 - Right, yeah. We'll see an occasional movie 387 00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:49,209 and then sometimes I'm there when she gives birth to a baby. 388 00:15:49,252 --> 00:15:51,211 - Well, I don't know Jonah. What would you call it? 389 00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:52,690 - I don't know. 390 00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:54,866 - What would happen if we just didn't do the surgery? 391 00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,564 And the baby will eventually work its way out 392 00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:57,869 like a splinter, right? 393 00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,654 I mean, life always finds a way. 394 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:03,005 - Dina, you're gonna be fine. 395 00:16:03,049 --> 00:16:04,876 And we'll be right down the hall 396 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,487 waiting for you when you're done. 397 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:07,618 - You're not gonna be in there? 398 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:10,360 - No, see, we're not doctors, 399 00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,580 so we don't go into the operating room. 400 00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,016 We go to the waiting room. 401 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:17,411 - Actually, the parents are usually in there for it. 402 00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:18,847 - Okay, but, well, yeah, 403 00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:20,718 we'll probably just get in the way, so. 404 00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:23,939 - Glenn, I think we should both be in there for Dina. 405 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,028 - Okay, I get really squeamish around blood. 406 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,683 - Maybe she doesn't have a lot of blood. 407 00:16:28,726 --> 00:16:31,033 - Don't go. 408 00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:33,514 - O-okay. - Okay. 409 00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:37,344 - Right, you must be Dina Fox. Hello, I'm Dr. Gillespie. 410 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,650 I'll be administering the epidural. 411 00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:41,739 - Damn, what is with this place? 412 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,959 It's like "Grey's Anatomy" in here. 413 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,917 - You ready? - Yeah. 414 00:16:45,961 --> 00:16:48,094 - Let's go. 415 00:16:50,879 --> 00:16:51,053 . 416 00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:53,621 - I'd like to get up there by Dina. 417 00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,057 Oh you're coming here? - Sir, I need to get in there. 418 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:58,191 - Okay, I'll go this way. Oh, no. I'm trapped. 419 00:16:58,234 --> 00:17:00,062 - Dina, everything's going to be okay. 420 00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:01,194 - Uh-huh. 421 00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,543 It's a real professional operation 422 00:17:02,586 --> 00:17:04,110 they've got going on here. 423 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:08,244 There's computers and wires-- the whole nine yards. 424 00:17:08,288 --> 00:17:10,420 - Huh. Could you play my music? 425 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,944 - No problem. 426 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:16,078 [carnival tune] 427 00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:19,951 - Sorry, is this right? - Yeah, it's my favorite song. 428 00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:24,347 ♪ 429 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:27,872 Okay. I'm ready. 430 00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,831 - Obviously it's not just about the sex. 431 00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,354 - One, two... - There are feelings there. 432 00:17:31,398 --> 00:17:32,442 - We can talk about this later. - Three! 433 00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,096 - Maybe focus on this. 434 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,967 - I just think that there's a lot going on between him 435 00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,621 and the baby and it just seems like a lot of pressure. 436 00:17:37,665 --> 00:17:38,883 - It's totally cool, and we can table this. 437 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,233 - ...ten, and stop. 438 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:43,192 - Stop talking or stop pushing? - Both. Jesus. 439 00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:44,628 - All right, here we go. 440 00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:47,283 - Oh, no. Uh, maybe we could turn her around. 441 00:17:47,327 --> 00:17:50,634 Turn her around. Oh, there's the blood. 442 00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:52,375 Okay, we are in it. 443 00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,290 - I see the head. 444 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:57,206 - Oh, thank God. I have had the craziest day. 445 00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,773 - I've had a pretty nutty day too. 446 00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,601 - Thanks for filling in. - Oh, yeah, sure. 447 00:18:00,644 --> 00:18:03,647 Um, guess this is yours. - This? I'll get that. 448 00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:04,866 - I'll just grab the other leg. 449 00:18:04,909 --> 00:18:05,823 - Okay, thanks. 450 00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:08,522 - Wow, there is so much blood. 451 00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,698 Should someone do something about that? 452 00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:13,744 Okay, I'm just gonna close my eyes. 453 00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:17,313 Nope. Still kinda seeing it. 454 00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,923 I'll pick them up. I'll pick them up. 455 00:18:18,967 --> 00:18:22,405 - One last push. - Let's do this! C'mon! 456 00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,364 Mm. - Uh. Yeah. 457 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:27,018 - Huh? Huh? 458 00:18:27,062 --> 00:18:28,542 Team! 459 00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:32,415 - Jerusha. I can see its little arms. 460 00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:33,895 It's so beautiful. 461 00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:35,679 Nope, these are just the intestines. 462 00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:38,160 - Oh. - Glenn, are you okay? 463 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:41,511 - Uh-huh. [gulp] 464 00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:43,687 I--I didn't throw up. 465 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,821 - Nine, ten. - [baby crying] 466 00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:48,910 - It's a boy! Congratulations. 467 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:52,566 And look at that. A healthy baby girl. 468 00:18:52,609 --> 00:18:55,308 Congrats, everyone. - Thank God. 469 00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,527 - Who's gonna cut the umbilical cord? 470 00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,790 - [stammers] You should probably do it. 471 00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:02,271 - Yeah, yeah. I was gonna. 472 00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:04,012 - Dina, you did it. 473 00:19:04,055 --> 00:19:08,059 - Jerusha, I'm so happy. 474 00:19:08,103 --> 00:19:09,278 - Hi. 475 00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,585 Hi, little buddy. 476 00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:13,064 Hi. - Good heavens! 477 00:19:13,108 --> 00:19:15,676 Did you know there's a dead body in here? 478 00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:19,201 Margaret! We got another damn body! 479 00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:22,813 - [coughing, retching] 480 00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:26,730 [retching] 481 00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,559 - I love you more than pot pies 482 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:32,171 and Christmas 483 00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:34,651 and even little baby Jesus. 484 00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:36,914 Don't tell anybody. 485 00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,394 [both chuckling] 486 00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:40,396 - Dina, we can't thank you enough for giving us such 487 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:41,789 an amazing gift. 488 00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:43,617 - I didn't get you a gift. 489 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,096 Oh, you mean the baby. 490 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:46,576 Yeah, you paid me for that, so we're good. 491 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,926 Yeah. Um... 492 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,667 would it be okay if I had a moment alone with her? 493 00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:53,104 - Oh, yeah, of course. 494 00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:56,586 - Oh, no thank you. You can put it in its bin. 495 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,459 - You take all the time you need. 496 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:02,853 - She's not gonna kidnap her, right? 497 00:20:02,897 --> 00:20:06,117 - No, I locked all the windows. 498 00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:10,209 - Well, this is it for you and me, kid. 499 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:13,168 I hope I gave you a good start the past nine months. 500 00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:16,650 Now, if you ever need anything, 501 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:18,782 you can always come to me. 502 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,262 But not on Wednesdays or Fridays, 503 00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,656 because I have crew practice. 504 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,093 All right, what else can I tell you? 505 00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:27,269 Never go camping on your period. 506 00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:29,663 If you ever find a pair of shoes you like, 507 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:32,187 buy multiple pairs. 508 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,581 You meet a man with a houseboat, 509 00:20:34,624 --> 00:20:35,669 walk the other way. 510 00:20:35,712 --> 00:20:37,801 That's an important one. 511 00:20:37,845 --> 00:20:39,977 - Hey, little buddy. 512 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:43,546 He's not as squishy and purple as Emma was. 513 00:20:43,590 --> 00:20:44,808 - Mm-mm. 514 00:20:44,852 --> 00:20:46,984 - She was so squishy. 515 00:20:47,028 --> 00:20:48,464 - She's perfect. 516 00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,292 You're perfect. 517 00:20:50,336 --> 00:20:52,338 - Oh, wow. Uh, look at the time. 518 00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,687 I--I completely lost track. 519 00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:55,254 I got a meeting--party. 520 00:20:55,297 --> 00:20:56,342 I got a party meeting. 521 00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:57,865 So, let you guys have some time. 522 00:20:57,908 --> 00:21:00,041 - Thanks. - Sure. 523 00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:02,478 - Yeah. Thank you. 524 00:21:02,522 --> 00:21:04,524 - You're welcome. 525 00:21:05,873 --> 00:21:07,788 - Hi. Hi. 526 00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:10,617 - Here's your [bleep] card. 527 00:21:11,879 --> 00:21:14,316 - He's had a big day. But congratulations. 528 00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,971 - Let's go! 38827

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.