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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:03,137
(NOTHING'S GONNA
STOP ME NOW PLAYING)
2
00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:13,013
Sometimes
the world looks perfect
3
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,484
Nothing to rearrange
4
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,520
Sometimes you just
get a feeling
5
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:24,058
Like you need
some kind of change
6
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:27,628
No matter what
the odds are this time
7
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,863
Nothing's gonna stand
in my way
8
00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:31,365
This flame in my heart
9
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,267
Like a long lost friend
10
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:37,405
Gives every dark street
a light at the end
11
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:41,375
Standing tall
12
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:45,113
On the wings of my dreams
13
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:48,048
Rise and fall
14
00:00:48,116 --> 00:00:51,719
On the wings of my dreams
15
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:55,022
Through the rain and thunder
the wind and haze
16
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,658
I'm bound for better days
17
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,161
It's my life
18
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,762
My dream
19
00:01:01,829 --> 00:01:05,699
And nothing's gonna
stop me now
20
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,019
What are you doing?
21
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,289
Well, cousin, don't worry
about it. They're free.
22
00:01:28,356 --> 00:01:31,192
No, No, Balki.
Those are free.
23
00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:34,495
These are... $3.95?
24
00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:39,533
Oh, no.
25
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,274
We are not here to buy
26
00:01:46,340 --> 00:01:49,076
disgusting little
cheese dogs.
27
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:52,713
You know, you're the kind of guy
supermarket owners love.
28
00:01:57,318 --> 00:01:58,519
Thank you.
29
00:02:00,288 --> 00:02:02,122
That was not a compliment.
30
00:02:02,190 --> 00:02:05,493
You obviously don't know
the basic rules of shopping.
31
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,862
But, cousin, on Mypos, we don't
have rules for shopping.
32
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:11,332
Come to think of it,
we don't have rules for games.
33
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:15,303
This is America.
We have rules for everything.
34
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,238
It's what distinguishes
us from the...
35
00:02:18,206 --> 00:02:19,407
Unruly.
36
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,343
Cousin, will you teach me?
37
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,778
Well, I suppose
I could give you
38
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:27,781
a few pointers
on comparison shopping.
39
00:02:27,848 --> 00:02:31,985
Well, you're going
to have to because
40
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:34,555
Balki, comparison shopping
is when you compare
41
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,457
the price of one item
with another.
42
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,760
For instance, take this rice.
Don't take the rice.
43
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,664
Which package
would you choose?
44
00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:46,500
Well, that one
looks nice.
45
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:48,236
Very nice
and expensive.
46
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:52,406
Rule one, don't fall for
the attractive package trick.
47
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:54,007
You have to
compare prices.
48
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,844
Check the weight.
Find the best value.
49
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:58,979
Well, where is the best value?
Ah.
50
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:02,583
That's where this
little baby comes in.
51
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,518
This is the calculator
my father gave me
52
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,754
the first time
I went shopping alone.
53
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,856
Sometime, I'll teach
you how to use it.
54
00:03:09,957 --> 00:03:10,958
Now...
55
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,399
Divided by 16 ounces,
that would be...
56
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,401
Twelve cents.
57
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,204
Twelve cents an ounce.
58
00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:34,047
All right.
Five pounds is $8.80 cents
59
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,616
that would be...
60
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:36,684
Eleven cents.
61
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,488
Eleven cents an ounce.
62
00:03:44,325 --> 00:03:47,328
Now, the next size is...
63
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:52,400
That would be
eight cents an ounce.
64
00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,902
Therefore, this
is the best value.
65
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,239
(GRUNTS)
66
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,412
Cousin, you know,
I can't help noticing
67
00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:06,614
that the best value
weighed 25 pounds.
68
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,320
we can save
four cents an ounce.
69
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:14,154
But, cousin we have
only eaten rice
70
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,256
three times
in the last year.
71
00:04:16,324 --> 00:04:19,593
And that means, we won't
have to buy rice again for...
72
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:23,030
Sixteen years.
73
00:04:27,067 --> 00:04:28,569
Sixteen years.
74
00:04:33,541 --> 00:04:36,744
Now, if you'll notice,
I've arranged the list
75
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:38,712
according to the four
major food groups.
76
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,549
Wait. Wait, cousin.
Cousin. Cousin. Cousin--
77
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,116
Look, I'm trying to
explain the rules to you.
78
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:46,354
Yes, yes, yes, but--
Do you mind?
79
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:47,888
Do you, do you?
Cousin, cousin--
80
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:50,824
Do you want to learn
about shopping or not?
81
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:53,627
Yes, I do but--
All right, Balki...
82
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,930
Just watch and learn.
83
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,968
This is my shopping cart.
84
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,372
Learn how to shop.
85
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:18,386
Why didn't you tell me
I took the wrong cart?
86
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,854
Because I was busy
watching and learning.
87
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,830
WOMAN ON SPEAKER:
Tuna fish, $1.19.
88
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:34,968
Macaroni, $1.29.
89
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:38,806
Did you say something?
90
00:05:39,707 --> 00:05:41,074
That was the cash register.
91
00:05:45,312 --> 00:05:46,980
Excuse me.
92
00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:50,217
My cousin tell me that
this cash register is talking.
93
00:05:50,283 --> 00:05:52,019
It is.
94
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:54,788
It's the latest thing
in grocery technology.
95
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:57,925
Pretty radical, huh?
96
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:03,797
WOMAN ON SPEAKER:
Your total is $69.25.
97
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,733
Thank you.
Have a nice day.
98
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:09,102
Cousin, machines that talk.
99
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,108
Cousin, isn't this fun?
100
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:16,444
Yes, tons.
101
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,779
I've got to get some antacid.
102
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,618
Ah!
103
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,091
How are you today?
104
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:34,428
Well, my day started out
kind of rough actually.
105
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:36,129
Cousin Larry wanted
to go shopping
106
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,566
but he didn't want
to take me with him.
107
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,734
So we had kind
of a big fight
108
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:42,703
and then we
got here and...
109
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,137
We've had our ups
and downs, but...
110
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:49,342
When you come to think of it,
we always have our ups and downs
111
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,844
if you know what I'm saying.
112
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,782
And then over there
he let me push the cart
113
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:58,051
And so, I'm happy,
you know.
114
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,755
I'm happy.
How are you today?
115
00:07:03,190 --> 00:07:04,191
Fine.
116
00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,463
(SIREN WAILING)
117
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:13,534
I didn't touch it.
I didn't touch it.
118
00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:16,504
Hi, I'm Pete Zaveni,
the manager.
119
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,472
Please, please don't
call the police.
120
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:22,710
Balki, what's going on?
121
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:25,112
I told them, I was sorry,
but she keep throw papers at me.
122
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:28,616
It's all right, it's all right,
it's all right.
123
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,851
As a matter of fact,
you've been chosen
124
00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,520
by our computerized
cash register
125
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:33,887
to win our
grand opening prize.
126
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,825
A prize?
We won a prize, cousin. A prize.
127
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,127
All right, good,
let's just get our oven mitt
128
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:42,763
or whatever we won
and get out of here.
129
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:48,769
Have we won an oven mitt?
130
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:53,440
No. You have won our
grand prize shopping spree.
131
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,342
Balki, did you hear that?
132
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,378
Well, of course, I did.
Don't be ridiculous.
133
00:07:58,445 --> 00:07:59,547
You know what this means?
134
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,048
I have no idea.
135
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:05,853
(ALL CHEERING)
136
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:13,193
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
137
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:19,867
Hi, cousin.
138
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:24,772
Where have you been? I have been
waiting for you for two hours.
139
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,940
Oh, cousin, I've been
telling all of our neighbors
140
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:31,945
about the free
shopping spree.
141
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,982
that I don't think I'm going to
be able to sleep a wink tonight.
142
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:36,884
I don't know how
I'm going to do it.
143
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,552
Maybe I'll just count sheep.
144
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,654
One...
145
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:47,961
Where do I come up
with them?
146
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,900
Balki, this is no time
to fool around.
147
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,935
Cousin, you know,
you're right?
148
00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:58,005
This is a time
to be serious.
149
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,178
Tomorrow is the time
to fool around.
150
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:08,649
Dai, dai, dai.
Balki, Balki, get back here.
151
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,884
This shopping spree
is serious business.
152
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:13,787
Now... I have a plan.
153
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,525
Cousin, why is it that
every time we have
154
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:21,729
a chance to have fun,
you have to have a plan?
155
00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:27,901
what kind of opportunity
this shopping spree is.
156
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:29,870
Oh, but I do,
it's an opportunity
157
00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:32,706
for you to have a plan.
158
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:37,177
Well, excuse me
159
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:39,246
for being organized.
160
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:46,553
Well, do you know
what I thought?
161
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,455
and every time
we see something we like
162
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,323
we throw in the cart it.
163
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:52,826
Oh-oh!
164
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,195
and throw in
the cart things.
165
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:58,932
Balki, do you know what
we would wind up with?
166
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,834
Eight hundred pounds
of ding dongs.
167
00:10:03,370 --> 00:10:04,805
Oh, cousin.
168
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:07,040
That is not fair
169
00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:10,610
and that is not true
and that is not right.
170
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,714
Because I would also
like to pick up
171
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,248
some of those
cheese franks
172
00:10:16,884 --> 00:10:19,186
and some of those potato chips
that taste like tacos.
173
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,721
All right. All right.
174
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:23,190
And some after dinner mints.
Which you...
175
00:10:23,256 --> 00:10:25,959
All right, all right,
fine, good, good, good.
176
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:28,628
That is one way to go.
177
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:32,332
Let us call that plan Z.
178
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:41,308
Now, let us listen to my plan
which we will call plan A.
179
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,949
and labeled all the sections
where we have to go.
180
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:53,286
What is...
What is gourmet section?
181
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:56,023
The gourmet section is where
they keep the expensive foods
182
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,525
like caviar and escargot.
183
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:00,894
Oh.
Mmm-hmm.
184
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,329
All right.
What are they?
185
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:05,933
Caviar and escargot?
186
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,300
Fish eggs and snails.
187
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:14,174
They are considered delicacies.
188
00:11:15,642 --> 00:11:19,913
Well, on Mypos,
they're considered fertilizer.
189
00:11:24,818 --> 00:11:26,286
I don't want to
eat that stuff.
190
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,990
You can just count me
out and down in Beverly Hills.
191
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:34,061
Balki, you don't understand.
192
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:36,864
We are not going
to eat the food.
193
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:42,335
Well, silly me.
194
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:46,139
Why would I think
we would eat the food?
195
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,376
This morning I must have got up
on the wrong side of my brain.
196
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,081
If I could just finish?
197
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:56,984
I stopped by Chez Robert.
And I talked to the chef.
198
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,119
He'll buy everything we get.
199
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:01,755
We'll sell him the food,
take the money
200
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,024
and buy this.
201
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:07,828
A living bra.
202
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,532
No. No. This.
203
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:14,134
An air conditioner.
204
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,335
Oh, cousin
205
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,938
we don't need
an air conditioner.
206
00:12:18,005 --> 00:12:20,473
Balki, have you forgotten
last summer?
207
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,977
Well, of course, I haven't.
Don't be ridiculous.
208
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:26,446
It was my first
summer in America.
209
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:29,682
I was drinking in
the sights and sounds
210
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,151
of a new country.
211
00:12:31,218 --> 00:12:32,752
I was learning
the difference
212
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,488
between beta and VHS.
213
00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,692
The weather.
214
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,094
The heat.
215
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,763
Do you remember
the heat?
216
00:12:43,831 --> 00:12:45,332
Well, it wasn't
the heat so much.
217
00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:47,367
It was really the humidity.
Oh, God!
218
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,369
You put on a shirt 5:00
in the afternoon
219
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,304
it's wringing wet--
220
00:12:51,371 --> 00:12:53,540
Balki. Balki. Balki.
221
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:54,908
The point
222
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:57,644
that I am so desperately
223
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,612
trying to make here
224
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,314
is that we...
225
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:06,086
The air conditioner?
Yes! Yes!
226
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,921
Yes, the air conditioner.
227
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:09,857
Balki, look, look, look.
228
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,025
This air conditioner
could cool off
229
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,962
the whole apartment
for the summer.
230
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,898
Especially your room, hmm?
231
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,766
Balki.
My room?
232
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:22,002
Yes.
Think about it.
233
00:13:26,773 --> 00:13:30,143
Well, maybe
it wouldn't hurt
234
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,545
to give your plan
a little listen.
235
00:13:32,612 --> 00:13:34,347
Yes, thank you.
Thank you. Okay.
236
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,582
Look, now...
237
00:13:37,284 --> 00:13:38,986
We will have one cart
and three minutes
238
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:41,788
to get as much as we can.
239
00:13:41,855 --> 00:13:43,423
our value per cubic foot
of cart space.
240
00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,859
Now, the rules say
we cannot use any baggage
241
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,160
but it says
nothing about pockets.
242
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,196
So, in the event
we run out of cart space
243
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:51,731
we will be wearing special
outfits with lots of pockets.
244
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:54,767
Well, I had a whole outfit
picked out, you know...
245
00:13:54,834 --> 00:14:01,641
Well, I'll tell you what,
why don't you just
246
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:04,311
All right, now, we will hit
the meat department
247
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:06,479
and go straight
to the expensive cuts.
248
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:10,083
No ground beef.
I repeat, no hamburger.
249
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:13,053
Then we'll swing
by the produce section.
250
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:15,355
The failure of the Cassava
crops has pushed
251
00:14:15,422 --> 00:14:18,158
the prize of those melons
right through the roof.
252
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,627
Then it's over
to the gourmet section.
253
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,595
You get the escargot,
I'll get the caviar
254
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:25,798
if the prize of
the white fish is still up
255
00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,200
we'll clean them out.
256
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,503
Any questions so far?
Balki.
257
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:39,446
Does Sylvester Stallone
do his own stunts?
258
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,484
Hmm...
259
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:48,021
Uh, what I meant was
260
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:49,957
are there any
261
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,459
questions about
the shopping spree?
262
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:55,929
Oh, oh, oh!
263
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,364
No, no, not a one.
264
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:07,107
Good.
265
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,541
When we get to the...
266
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,783
Cute outfits.
Well, thank you.
267
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,986
They're part of
Cousin Larry's plan.
268
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:21,288
You know we can carry
twice our body weight.
269
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:25,925
We're about to start.
270
00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:28,461
Uh, Mary Ann, do you need
anything besides the shampoo?
271
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:31,464
Oh, no, thanks. I think
I'm fine on conditioner.
272
00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,366
Well, Larry,
do you think you'll have
273
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:35,168
enough time to get
my nail polish?
274
00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:42,875
Nail polish?
275
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,144
Super.
276
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:49,282
Uh, Balki, could I speak to
you for just a moment?
277
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,285
Excuse us.
278
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,057
What are you doing?
279
00:15:59,026 --> 00:16:00,560
to get some things
for our neighbors.
280
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,095
We can't do that!
281
00:16:02,162 --> 00:16:04,264
But Mrs. Schlegelmitz
needs some salami.
282
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:06,299
Balki, we only have
three minutes
283
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,734
to get everything
on our list.
284
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,136
But cousin, I promised.
285
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,404
Well, well,
you shouldn't have.
286
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:14,507
Balki, this is going
to throw the plan way off.
287
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,676
Well, then we just
change the plan.
288
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,412
Change the plan?
289
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:22,515
We can't change the plan
right before we start.
290
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,717
Why do you think
they call it a plan?
291
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,690
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have
your attention, please?
292
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:32,792
The contest is about to begin.
293
00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,561
Gather round.
Gather round.
294
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,996
Welcome to our
Grand Opening Celebration.
295
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:40,033
I'd like to introduce you
to our shopping spree winners
296
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,602
Mr. Balki Bartokomous.
297
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:45,105
Yay!
298
00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,606
PETE: And Mr. Larry Appleton.
299
00:16:46,673 --> 00:16:48,541
Yay!
300
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,111
Now, remember, boys
301
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,913
you will have exactly
three minutes
302
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,482
to cross this finish line
303
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,984
before the buzzer sounds,
or you lose everything.
304
00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,521
Shoppers, take your marks.
305
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:04,023
why we don't we have time
to be nice to our neighbors?
306
00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,958
I'll tell you what,
we'll throw them a dinner party.
307
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,195
Stick to the plan.
308
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:09,462
PETE: Ready.
309
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,365
Set.
310
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,866
Shop.
311
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:17,070
(ALL CHEERING)
312
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,507
Balki. Balki. Balki.
313
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,776
Balki, where are you going?
314
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,812
Well, I thought I would get
Mary Ann's shampoo before I--
315
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,247
You can get it later.
316
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:29,316
Stick to the plan.
317
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,586
Roasts!
318
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:34,887
Three.
319
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:36,156
Roast one.
320
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,457
Roast two.
321
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:38,758
Roast three.
LARRY: Ham.
322
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:39,926
Four.
323
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,494
Ham one.
324
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:42,695
Ham two.
325
00:17:42,762 --> 00:17:44,063
Ham three.
326
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,165
Ham four.
Turkey!
327
00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:46,699
Three, oh, God.
328
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:48,168
Turkey one.
329
00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:49,569
Turkey two.
330
00:17:49,636 --> 00:17:51,238
Turkey three.
LARRY: Pheasants!
331
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:54,307
Nine. Salami!
332
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:57,177
I told Mrs. Schlegelmitz
and she said
333
00:17:57,244 --> 00:17:59,646
to me she said, "Balki,
if you get a chance, baby
334
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:03,216
"you gotta pick up
some of that."
335
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:05,485
Balki, forget the salami.
336
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,320
We've got to get
to the casabas.
337
00:18:08,655 --> 00:18:09,656
Two minutes.
338
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,893
But what about
Mary Ann's shampoo?
339
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:14,961
Cousin, it's right over there.
340
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:16,529
We just have to get it...
341
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:21,968
Forget the shampoo.
342
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:24,971
Cousin, don't.
343
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,639
All right. All right.
Right here.
344
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:28,708
Come on, Balki, all right.
Right there.
345
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,644
Squeeze bottle or tube?
346
00:18:32,979 --> 00:18:34,714
All right, all right. Here.
347
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:39,519
Shampoo!
348
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,655
Oh, wait, I see the diapers
for Mrs. Fargey...
349
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:45,825
No, no, Balki, Balki, Balki.
All right, get the diapers.
350
00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:47,160
Get the diapers.
351
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:53,800
Balki, whitefish,
$19.95 a pound.
352
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,508
Looks like spawning season.
353
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,185
Oh.
354
00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,355
Thirty seconds.
355
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:18,057
We have 30 seconds
to get the caviar.
356
00:19:18,124 --> 00:19:21,194
But, cousin, if we don't
go, if we don't go right now
357
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,264
we'll lose everything we'll
lose everything we got.
358
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:28,468
I'm not leaving
without the caviar.
359
00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,603
Oh, but, oh, cousin...
360
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,138
Ten seconds.
361
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,140
(ALL CHEERING)
362
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:35,242
PETE: Five...
363
00:19:35,308 --> 00:19:37,810
Four, three.
364
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:41,013
Two, one.
365
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,782
(CHEERING) Yeah!
366
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:53,593
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
367
00:19:56,095 --> 00:20:01,501
Balki, we did it, $635.
368
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,202
Cousin, that's enough to buy
369
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,338
the air conditioner
and the living bra.
370
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:09,442
And we had fun, too.
371
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:11,844
You had fun?
372
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,582
Well, always, cousin.
Always.
373
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:18,351
That's why they call me
"The Jerry Lewis of Mypos."
374
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:28,261
Why is it always work for me
and fun for you?
375
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,597
Well, I don't know,
cousin. Um...
376
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,266
Maybe because you spend
so much time making plans
377
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,101
and you don't leave
enough time to have fun.
378
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:40,072
Now, that's not true.
Oh, cousin.
379
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:44,143
What are you going
to do now?
380
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:45,678
But that only makes sense.
381
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:47,714
You've gotta
comparison shop.
382
00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,682
You've gotta
find the best deal.
383
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:52,385
Yes, but, cousin, you're
not going to have any fun.
384
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,920
I'll have an
air conditioner.
385
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,556
Yes, but you're
not going to have any fun.
386
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,458
I'll have an
air conditioner.
387
00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,360
All right, cousin.
Do you want to have fun?
388
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,861
Do you? Do you?
Oh. Oh.
389
00:21:01,928 --> 00:21:03,229
Do you want to have fun?
390
00:21:03,296 --> 00:21:04,497
Yes, I do.
391
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,968
All right. Now, listen.
392
00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:10,603
On Mypos, we have a saying.
393
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:17,810
(SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
394
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,714
Need I say more?
395
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:27,920
A little more
might be helpful.
396
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:33,059
It says,
"If you let your hair down
397
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:35,728
"you might be surprised
what you find in it."
398
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,973
You know, Balki,
399
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:49,709
in your own odd way
400
00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:52,579
you're right.
401
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:58,084
And you are going
to teach me
402
00:21:58,150 --> 00:21:59,452
how to loosen up.
403
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,754
I am?
How I do that?
404
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:05,625
I'm going to give you
this money.
405
00:22:05,692 --> 00:22:08,294
I want you to spend
every last penny of it.
406
00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:10,930
But cousin--
And I don't care
how you do it.
407
00:22:10,997 --> 00:22:15,134
'Cause I know
whatever you do
408
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:16,936
and totally spontaneous.
409
00:22:17,003 --> 00:22:21,340
Well, cousin, I...
635 smackeroos.
410
00:22:23,242 --> 00:22:25,645
You know,
I feel terrific.
411
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,580
I feel as if
this great weight
412
00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:28,781
has been lifted
from my shoulders.
413
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,750
Well, you know,
I do, too.
414
00:22:30,817 --> 00:22:32,752
(LAUGHING)
415
00:22:32,819 --> 00:22:34,086
Ah...
Ah...
416
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:38,491
Well...
417
00:22:39,258 --> 00:22:41,494
So, uh, Balki, uh...
418
00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:43,129
Well, what are you gonna do
with all that money?
419
00:22:46,599 --> 00:22:48,968
No, no, no.
No, that's not what I mean.
420
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:54,173
Just that if, uh,
I'm gonna learn
421
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,108
in a very loosely structured
422
00:22:56,175 --> 00:22:59,178
you know, free kind of way.
423
00:22:59,245 --> 00:23:01,047
Well, I'll tell you.
424
00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,886
Mary Ann is going to have
a birthday soon.
425
00:23:06,953 --> 00:23:10,389
And I thought what I would do
is rent one of those airplanes
426
00:23:10,457 --> 00:23:12,725
that spit smoke
out of the back end
427
00:23:12,792 --> 00:23:14,226
and write in the sky.
428
00:23:14,293 --> 00:23:15,662
And I would have it say
429
00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:18,230
"Happy birthday, Mary Ann
430
00:23:18,297 --> 00:23:20,032
"from guess who."
431
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:22,469
Now, doesn't that
sound like fun?
432
00:23:22,535 --> 00:23:24,637
(LAUGHING)
433
00:23:24,704 --> 00:23:26,539
Doesn't it?
Doesn't it?
434
00:23:26,606 --> 00:23:28,407
Doesn't it sound like fun?
435
00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:29,509
Balki.
What?
436
00:23:29,576 --> 00:23:30,777
Give me the money.
No! No!
437
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:35,482
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
438
00:23:37,316 --> 00:23:40,453
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
30556
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