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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,927 --> 00:00:11,008 You're happy. 2 00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:13,554 Yes. 3 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,390 Really? 4 00:00:17,726 --> 00:00:18,726 Yes. 5 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:55,564 Do you know how much the flowers at the wedding cost? 6 00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,906 How come everyone always knows how much the flowers cost? 7 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,238 How come you're so goddamn cute? 8 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,382 If we have time before they come... 9 00:02:22,601 --> 00:02:25,139 We have time, we'll make time. 10 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:28,438 How can you not remember her? She was at our wedding. 11 00:02:28,607 --> 00:02:31,816 - You never talk to her. - She's my only close friend from art school. 12 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:35,145 I mentioned to her that we were coming into the city, I can't not see her. 13 00:02:35,322 --> 00:02:36,483 And this is where she lives? 14 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:40,195 This can't be right. 15 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,578 They better have a TV. 16 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,201 I hate what I'm wearing. 17 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,284 Hang on a second. 18 00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:54,376 Is this it? 19 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:55,877 I don't know, there's no numbers. 20 00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:58,421 How can there not be any numbers? 21 00:03:03,517 --> 00:03:06,510 - Son of a bitch! - No, no, no, no, no, just drive. 22 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,435 Just drive. 23 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,064 Damn it! 24 00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,356 What's that? 25 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:24,948 Nice neighborhood. 26 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,218 Tina wants me to get going. 27 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,183 No. We're having people over. 28 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:57,606 No, no, no, it's fine. 29 00:03:57,821 --> 00:03:59,062 We love you too. 30 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:00,488 Okay, bye, bye. 31 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,319 Get dressed, please. 32 00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,821 Relax. 33 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,868 OK, it so doesn't relax me when you say that. 34 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:12,501 How do I look? 35 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,128 How are you trying to look? 36 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,753 Um, accomplished. 37 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,925 And excessively tasteful, sexy? 38 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:25,380 I mean, yeah. 39 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,599 Yeah! 40 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:33,350 Now it's time to play hide the lie. 41 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,682 Depressants. 42 00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:38,188 Oh my god, where's the squirrel? 43 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,816 Yes. 44 00:04:41,031 --> 00:04:43,990 - Oh... - This was our favorite wedding present. Okay? 45 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:47,035 Whatever you say, just please get it away from me. 46 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:48,245 Please. 47 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,623 We're on four. 48 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:54,993 You're doing great, babe, doing great. 49 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,268 That, that's draggi... Never mind, it's good. 50 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,731 You look great. 51 00:05:39,381 --> 00:05:40,713 Why didn't you guys take the elevator? 52 00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,131 Ah, I think it's out of order. 53 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:43,674 - It's a little temperamental. - Ah-ha. 54 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,301 I haven't seen you since your wedding. 55 00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:47,211 - Well, you smell nice. - Oh, thanks. 56 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:52,141 You, look at you! You're, you're huge! 57 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,596 I can't breathe. The baby's pressing on my lungs. 58 00:05:56,815 --> 00:06:00,434 - Ah, you look great. - Ah-hah, thanks. 59 00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:02,894 - This is Wayne. - laughing. 60 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,945 So nice to meet you, Wayne. 61 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:08,194 Ah, pregnant women smell so wonderful. 62 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:10,242 Okay. 63 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,948 I'm sorry, but where's your bathroom? 64 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,579 Oh um, through the curtain. 65 00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:16,369 Wow. 66 00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:40,436 This is a wonderfully buttery chardonnay we found in Napa. 67 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,642 Awesome. Babe do you wanna put that in the fridge? 68 00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,279 You found this OK? 69 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,114 Yeah, someone threw something at our car. 70 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,192 - What are you driving? - Cadillac. 71 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,279 - Hmm. - I'm parked right out front, you think the car is gonna be OK? 72 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:57,365 I don't know, we don't have a car. 73 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,620 We were looking at a building near here 74 00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,375 I was thinking of buying. 75 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,662 - Yeah, Karen said the whole building, huh? - Yeah. 76 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,793 Six floors, 5,000 square feet per floor. 77 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,544 Holy shit! 78 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,672 Yeah, originally I thought maybe we'd do one unit per floor. 79 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,713 But this neighborhood is a little... 80 00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,764 - Were you thinking about living here? - No, god no. 81 00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:16,342 - It's really real. - It's a little too real. 82 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,524 Uh. 83 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,140 Uh, thank you, Wayne. 84 00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,481 So how long have you guys lived here? 85 00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:29,279 - Uh... - You got this place when? 86 00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:32,154 Well, you should have seen it when I got it. 87 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,953 This guy was like running a motorcycle shop out of it, 88 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:41,626 but he was growing psilocybin mushrooms in cat shit upstairs. 89 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,670 For years. It smelt like cat shit whenever it rained. 90 00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:46,543 - How intoxicating. - Huh. 91 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,173 - So it's two floors? - Yeah, yeah, my studio is upstairs. 92 00:07:51,388 --> 00:07:52,629 Wow, that's great. 93 00:07:54,307 --> 00:07:55,639 Oh my god, the squirrel. 94 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,975 Oh my god, the squirrel. 95 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:01,474 Hey, you know that's actually our favorite wedding gift. 96 00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:03,056 You bought that? 97 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:05,482 Don, did I tell you that thing about them eloping? 98 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:07,439 - No. - Tina wanted to elope. 99 00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,112 No, no, no, no, no, Wayne wanted to elope. 100 00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:13,737 Right. And so Tina left a cantaloupe on the counter 101 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,402 with a note that said "can't elope". 102 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,737 Get it? 103 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:19,117 - Can't elope. - You did tell me that. 104 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:21,995 But then we did. In Fiji, argh! 105 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,920 You should see the marriage certificate, the guy was drunk on cava. 106 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:27,497 That signature was priceless. 107 00:08:27,716 --> 00:08:29,582 Hilarious. 108 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:33,465 - Ooo, would you look at that belly! How crazy is that? - Eight months? 109 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,093 Have you read Ina May Gaskin's guide to childbirth? 110 00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,718 - His favorite. - No. 111 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,927 Oh, you must. I mean the part about orgasmic birth. 112 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:43,187 - Incredible. - Woah! 113 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,771 Did you know amniotic fluid is actually urine? 114 00:08:47,986 --> 00:08:50,649 - Let's open that wine. - Good idea. 115 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,356 Well, I made fresh orange juice for Karen. 116 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,111 - Folic acid. - Thank you. 117 00:08:56,995 --> 00:08:58,031 He is sweet. 118 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:00,116 Isn't he? 119 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,852 - Don, look at all this artwork. - Yeah, it's all stuff our friends did. 120 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,321 - That's Lee Majors. - The artist? 121 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,445 The portrait? Six million dollar man. 122 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:41,028 It's nice you put your friends stuff up. 123 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:45,370 Oh sorry, are you OK? 124 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,167 I'm OK. I'm alright. 125 00:09:47,337 --> 00:09:49,169 - I'm so sorry. - I'm OK, I'm OK. 126 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:52,290 Hey Wayne, are you following that Mets game today? 127 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:54,967 Oh, we don't have a TV. 128 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,338 OK, so who's not drinking? 129 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,468 I'm abstaining in solidarity. 130 00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:03,851 - Karen? - I, I don't want Don to feel left out. 131 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,761 - Thank you. - Are you using a pelvic floor stretcher? 132 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,096 What? Wayne. 133 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,432 - Um. - It's amazing. 134 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:13,645 It's basically a latex balloon that you insert internally, 135 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,900 to train the vagina to stretch. 136 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,984 You know, so you don't get any perinatal tearing during delivery. 137 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:20,488 - Wow. - Wow, yeah. 138 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,369 - I really recommend it. - Thank you. 139 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,822 At the very least you should be doing perinatal massage. 140 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,125 - OK. - It's not too unlike anal training for ass-play. 141 00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:30,749 - Okay. - Cheers then, ahh. 142 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:34,423 Cheers to a... Wait, wait, boy or a girl? 143 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,467 I wanted Don to be surprised. 144 00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:39,930 Don wants a boy. 145 00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:42,632 Why would you say that? 146 00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,183 Wild guess. 147 00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:47,637 Oh, we recently learned this wonderful thing. 148 00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:51,896 When toasting, the eyes meet, and the glasses find each other. 149 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,357 Cheers. 150 00:10:56,573 --> 00:10:58,280 Cheers. 151 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,614 - Oh, that's tart. - Oh dank. 152 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,072 This is frickin' delicious! 153 00:11:06,291 --> 00:11:07,748 Glad you like it. 154 00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,327 You know it's illegal to sell pregnant women alcohol 155 00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,128 in New York City and cigarettes. 156 00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,672 I think that's outrageously paternalistic. 157 00:11:15,884 --> 00:11:18,501 I don't think the rights of pregnant women to smoke 158 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,837 is not the most pressing issue to devote oneself to. 159 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:24,924 It's the state creeping into our lives that's what's insidious. 160 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,184 I actually agree with that. 161 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,927 Thank you. 162 00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:30,889 A woman gives up her rights as an adult when she gets pregnant? 163 00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:32,188 Her right to drink. 164 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,357 - Her right to choose. - To drink? 165 00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,105 And smoke. 166 00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,607 - You really don't have a TV? - No. 167 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:42,107 Tina, are you still making those clothes out of money? 168 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:43,408 That's not what I was doing. 169 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:44,660 It was something like that though. 170 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,870 It was about the aesthetic 171 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:50,199 of it, the design of money and the materialism. 172 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,125 That's actually how Wayne and I met. 173 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,623 Oh, yes. 174 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:56,205 Wayne had this magazine, literary slash art... 175 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:57,915 Yeah, but it wasn't, it wasn't mine. 176 00:11:58,134 --> 00:12:01,252 Well, he was part of this magazine collective thingy 177 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,087 and he interviewed me. 178 00:12:03,306 --> 00:12:06,640 And I took him home and he never left. 179 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,843 So that's what you do, Wayne? 180 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,975 - No, no, not anymore. - So what do you do? 181 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:17,109 I don't define myself by my work, Don. 182 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:21,154 Don, did I ever tell you about that museum gift shop thing that Tina did? 183 00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,447 No. 184 00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:23,775 I can't believe you remember that. 185 00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:25,993 I still have that pin. 186 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,702 Seriously? Aw. 187 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:30,622 But what are you doing? How's your photography? 188 00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,283 Oh, I haven't done that for years. 189 00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,667 That was totally temporary. 190 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:36,837 You were such a great photographer. 191 00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,131 I was a medical photographer. 192 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:42,881 Why didn't you ever do that show like I told you? That was such a great idea. 193 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:46,055 Tina wanted me to do an art show with my photography. 194 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,723 You photographed peoples' lesions. 195 00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:50,927 It was such a great idea. Someone would write it up. 196 00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:57,979 Don's becoming a little bit of a collector. 197 00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,856 Really? 198 00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:02,279 - Who are you collecting? - Uh, I just got a Gerhard Richter. 199 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,777 - Really? - I helped him pick it out. 200 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:07,280 Hey, art appreciates even if I don't appreciate art. 201 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,862 Have you read his book The Daily Practice of Painting? 202 00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:11,197 I don't know jack shit about the guy. 203 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,829 Don't get that. 204 00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,626 Oh, you guys can take a call. 205 00:13:16,838 --> 00:13:18,204 No, u-hum. 206 00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:21,590 She knows we're here. 207 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,878 She also knows we have company. 208 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,428 - I, I wanna take it. - Don't. 209 00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,555 One second, Kiki. 210 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:31,179 Kiki, who's Kiki? 211 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:33,852 Uh, are you guys gonna breastfeed? 212 00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:36,726 Yeah. 213 00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:38,352 I mean, I'm planning to. 214 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,855 It's weird, right? A kid hanging off your boob all day 215 00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,527 like some kind of... tick. 216 00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,948 - Pretty distracting. - Or bonding and beautiful. 217 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,366 Jeeze, Tina. 218 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:49,325 Ideally it's bonding, 219 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,699 but when you have shit to do I don't know, I wouldn't want someone 220 00:13:51,914 --> 00:13:55,328 sucking on my nipples all day. I mean, in a perfect world. 221 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,909 Well, I'm looking forward to it. 222 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,996 It's kind of one of life's great experiences. 223 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:02,422 Yeah, no sorry, um... 224 00:14:02,592 --> 00:14:05,881 I've just been thinking about this stuff a lot. 225 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,097 I, um... 226 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,258 I'm actually doing a piece 227 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,090 - on motherhood. - Really? 228 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,971 It's gonna be a long term project. 229 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,849 Like a major life's work. 230 00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,896 I started collecting baby books 231 00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,191 and I'm interviewing people who work in orphanages 232 00:14:21,402 --> 00:14:23,860 - and zookeepers. - Zookeepers? 233 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,734 Daughters, mothers, men. 234 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,443 Abortion providers. 235 00:14:27,617 --> 00:14:30,075 I've gotten really into bronzing, 236 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:34,075 you know like, uh, baby shoe bronzing 237 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,240 and collecting baby teeth... 238 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:41,166 It's called EGG, or EGG Provocation. 239 00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,124 It's a commission from the new museum. 240 00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:46,800 Wow! 241 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,502 That's great, Tina. 242 00:14:49,514 --> 00:14:50,721 Good for you. 243 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,886 Do you find that people don't know what to talk to you about when you're pregnant? 244 00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,107 It's like this... 245 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,764 awkward thing. 246 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,310 Like, like when someone's terminally ill, 247 00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:06,145 and you're supposed to ask them all these medical questions. 248 00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:09,698 I, I'm sorry. Is it bad that I said that? 249 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:13,027 No, it's just that it's more like being a celebrity. 250 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,363 I feel like I get all this special attention. 251 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:21,578 I feel very admired and loved... and lucky. 252 00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:26,044 - Really? - Although... 253 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,670 It can be weird 254 00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:29,922 when you're with people that don't have children. 255 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:33,882 - Why is that? - I don't know, you feel... 256 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:36,433 I don't know, 257 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,761 sorry for them, I guess. 258 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:47,440 I'm gonna get some cheese. 259 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,245 You shut up. 260 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,870 - Hey, you wanted to come. - She's just insecure. 261 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:02,542 She's nuts, I can't take another hour of this. 262 00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:05,876 Stop it. We're gonna have dinner. 263 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,756 - What does he do? - Quiet. 264 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,755 I mean look at this place. 265 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:13,713 I'm gonna go check on the car. 266 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,179 - And listen to the game? - Mm, maybe. 267 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,645 Oh uh, hey, everything OK in there? 268 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,022 Hey, yeah thanks. 269 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:27,567 - Cheese? - Pregnancy-safe cheeses. 270 00:16:27,737 --> 00:16:28,978 It's so thoughtful. 271 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,197 Hey, did you tell them about the house? 272 00:16:31,199 --> 00:16:32,201 No. 273 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:34,949 Well... 274 00:16:36,454 --> 00:16:38,821 Don acquired quite a bit of land on this incredible island 275 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,121 in the Puget Sound. 276 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,120 - Wow. - And we thought with the baby 277 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,827 it would be wonderful to build this really special retreat. 278 00:16:45,046 --> 00:16:46,412 Ah, we have an old family friend who's an architect. 279 00:16:46,631 --> 00:16:49,715 - He's really into ecology. - As architects are. 280 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,589 He designed and built us this fantastic place. 281 00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,628 You didn't even tell me. 282 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,511 He used all these local materials like old telephone poles and glass 283 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:00,467 and stone, but it's modern. 284 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,928 It's really like a work of art. 285 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,184 Dad did everything, I mean furniture, appliances. 286 00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:07,436 He shipped us this amazing energy efficiency dishwasher 287 00:17:07,652 --> 00:17:08,527 all the way from Italy. 288 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:09,814 Defeats the purpose. 289 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,145 And I've been keeping these folders 290 00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,947 of sink fixtures, counter tops and whatever 291 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:15,865 and John the architect really liked my ideas. 292 00:17:16,077 --> 00:17:18,444 I have always said you had great ideas. 293 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,154 It really is like living in a dream. 294 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:25,917 Ah, you know what? We have news too. 295 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:28,708 We, we do? 296 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:32,087 - Tell'em. - Uh, you tell'em. 297 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,338 You are the first people we've told, you tell. 298 00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:37,175 I don't want to make any mistakes. 299 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,848 - You tell'em. - You guys, what? 300 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,177 We're having a baby too, yay! 301 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,389 Oh my god! 302 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:47,773 Tina! 303 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,607 That's great, you guys! 304 00:17:49,819 --> 00:17:52,562 - Ahh, nice work. - Wow! 305 00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:53,941 How far along are you? 306 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,818 - Uhm... - 11 weeks. 307 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:57,114 11 weeks, yeah. 308 00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:58,076 - Are you feeling sick at all? - No. 309 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,119 Never felt better. 310 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,120 - That's great. - Yeah. 311 00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:02,909 Wow, I am... 312 00:18:05,668 --> 00:18:10,288 - That's great. - Yeah, well, we are in the club too, cheers! 313 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:16,252 Here Tina, I hate when people lecture me. 314 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:20,259 But fetal alcohol syndrome is actually very serious. 315 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:22,090 Especially in the first trimester. 316 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,552 - Yeah, sorry. - I know you have your political stance. 317 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,638 I, I forgot. I'm not actually pregnant. 318 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,058 - We have a surrogate mother. - Hm. 319 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:32,237 Oh. 320 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,894 Oh. 321 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,604 - Oh wow! - Yeah. 322 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,439 - Yeah. - Oh, a surrogate? 323 00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,650 - Yeah. - We know a gay couple who did that. 324 00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,986 - We do? - Yeah, the guy who did our window treatments. 325 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,911 Okay. 326 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,489 Did you have to go through all that awful IVF fertility stuff? 327 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:46,949 No. 328 00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,000 - Well, that's good. - Yeah, no I can, I mean 329 00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:52,045 we can. This was more of an option. 330 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,964 - Okay? - Er, um. 331 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,418 Sort of a utopian pregnancy. 332 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,136 A utopian pregnancy? 333 00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,011 It's sort of err, dismantling 334 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,013 and restructuring of the traditional family unit. 335 00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:11,558 A re-distribution of rules to a more shared economy kind of thing. 336 00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:14,644 - Kind of. - You are the first people we've told, 337 00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,478 we don't really have the rap down yet. 338 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,939 So you can have the baby yourself? 339 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:23,118 Right, yes I... we can, we choose not to. 340 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:25,070 You're paying someone to have the baby for you? 341 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:26,330 Yeah. 342 00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,539 Perfect! 343 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,415 Wait, is this part of your project? 344 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,794 - Actually, yes. - So this was her idea, right? 345 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,170 - Yeah. - Look, it's a, it's a shared project. 346 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:39,752 Right. I'm just the one who conceived it. 347 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,506 The project, not the baby. 348 00:19:41,722 --> 00:19:44,214 Yeah, of course the project obviously. 349 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,220 It's a collaborative endeavor. 350 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,097 Kiki's the one who's having the actual baby. 351 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:50,975 Yeah, I'm just saying it was my idea. 352 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,308 I hardly think that it's right to discount the labor that goes into it. 353 00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:56,769 Just because you're controlling the means of production. 354 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,398 Mm, that sounds hot. 355 00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,401 I'm obviously saying this from... 356 00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:01,857 Why don't you, why don't you tell them? 357 00:20:02,076 --> 00:20:03,200 Didn't wanna get fat? 358 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,535 - Thanks. - Not particularly, no. 359 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,703 Didn't want to be inconvenienced. 360 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:13,127 No, but its more that because the traditional family role structure 361 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,999 is obsolete 362 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,128 and pretty much sucks for women and men and children, 363 00:20:20,136 --> 00:20:21,301 I decided to change it. 364 00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:23,295 What sucks about it? 365 00:20:23,514 --> 00:20:26,678 Well, I think Tina feels that there are issues with traditional roles. 366 00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:29,726 I mean, I wouldn't wanna be a mother. Would you? 367 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,935 - But you wanna have a baby! - Err... 368 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,812 Do you want to have a baby, Tina? 369 00:20:37,027 --> 00:20:39,019 We hired a surrogate mother. 370 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,776 - And this person that you hired is going to be... - The mother. 371 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,732 She will have that title. 372 00:20:43,951 --> 00:20:48,161 Yes, whatever that means, that's what she wanted. God love her. 373 00:20:48,372 --> 00:20:51,786 - Did you bone the surrogate? - Oh my god. 374 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,995 Tina's egg fertilized with my sperm was transplanted into our friends womb. 375 00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:01,129 Ah, naturally. Transplanted into... Yeah. 376 00:21:01,302 --> 00:21:03,794 We were both there when they introduced the zygote. 377 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:04,971 Must have been a precious moment. 378 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:06,179 So it is your egg? 379 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:08,465 Yes, it's my egg and Wayne's sperm. 380 00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:11,893 Look, some women are really into giving birth. 381 00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,812 Others just do it for reasons of vanity. 382 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:17,562 - Vanity. - Or ego or guilt. 383 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,188 If you didn't have to do it yourself 384 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:20,439 why else would you do it? 385 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:23,146 It's not unlike having 386 00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:25,698 assistants execute your art. 387 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,401 You have to learn. how to delegate. 388 00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,703 I think tons of women would love to do what I'm doing 389 00:21:29,914 --> 00:21:32,577 - they're just not ballsy enough to do it. - And you're ballsy enough? 390 00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:37,873 If government and businesses are going to devalue women's work 391 00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:41,461 and make motherhood economically unfeasible, 392 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,088 why not outsource it until they make it worth our whiles 393 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:46,920 to keep babies in their own mothers wombs. 394 00:21:47,139 --> 00:21:49,552 Yes, yes. 395 00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,182 You see this is why people hate liberals. 396 00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,014 Is this a joke or are you guys doing this? 397 00:21:53,229 --> 00:21:54,310 We're really doing it. 398 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,102 If you don't wanna have the child, why don't you just adopt? 399 00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:00,684 - Why don't you? - Why don't you? 400 00:22:01,695 --> 00:22:04,187 Well, Wayne was really into having his own genetics, so... 401 00:22:04,406 --> 00:22:05,817 So were you. 402 00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:07,820 Oh, I didn't really want it to be yours and hers. 403 00:22:08,035 --> 00:22:09,776 - That's not the point. - Oh, you don't want it to be hers. 404 00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,076 But you want her to be the mother. 405 00:22:11,288 --> 00:22:14,201 Um, Tina is 406 00:22:14,416 --> 00:22:15,457 like a sperm donor. 407 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,041 I'm so not like a sperm donor. 408 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,040 I mean, you're, you're an egg donor. 409 00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:20,416 No, I'm not. 410 00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,668 Well, she's the mother what are you? 411 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:23,885 I don't know. 412 00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:26,176 I haven't put a label on it. 413 00:22:26,387 --> 00:22:29,926 That's the most interesting part about it, I get to 414 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,847 create the role. 415 00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:33,721 Fun. 416 00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:36,303 I'm just not into being hormonally brainwashed 417 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,642 into this unhealthy attachment 418 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:40,941 that women have with their babies. 419 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,562 Unhealthy attachment? 420 00:22:42,778 --> 00:22:43,860 It's not unhealthy. 421 00:22:43,863 --> 00:22:45,695 A child needs this. 422 00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:48,444 And it's not an attachment, it's a connection. 423 00:22:49,535 --> 00:22:52,778 I already feel this incredible connection. 424 00:22:53,747 --> 00:22:54,749 Great. 425 00:22:56,333 --> 00:22:59,917 I'm looking forward to having a different kind of connection. 426 00:23:00,129 --> 00:23:02,837 One that's less based on biology 427 00:23:03,048 --> 00:23:04,880 and quite frankly economics. 428 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:08,256 - What is that supposed to mean? - I'm not against having kids. 429 00:23:09,179 --> 00:23:10,761 I love kids. 430 00:23:10,973 --> 00:23:12,089 They're awesome. 431 00:23:12,308 --> 00:23:15,346 I prefer kids to most adults, I mean... 432 00:23:16,812 --> 00:23:19,976 Raising a child, talk about an, 433 00:23:20,190 --> 00:23:22,853 an amazing experiment. 434 00:23:23,068 --> 00:23:26,311 So, you're really having more of an experiment than a baby? 435 00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,650 It's more like making a work of art. 436 00:23:28,866 --> 00:23:33,657 I'm not creating her, I'm allowing her into existence. 437 00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:34,953 You're having a girl? 438 00:23:34,955 --> 00:23:37,948 Yeah, I mean well 90% yeah. 439 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:41,163 It's early, but you could buy these DNA tests at like Walgreens. 440 00:23:41,378 --> 00:23:43,620 You can tell at 11 weeks. 441 00:23:45,633 --> 00:23:46,749 Wow, you guys. 442 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,466 OK, it's not unlike cheese. 443 00:23:54,391 --> 00:23:58,180 Cheese was created as a way to preserve milk 444 00:23:58,395 --> 00:23:59,511 before there was refrigeration. 445 00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,471 But we don't need cheese anymore. 446 00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:03,807 But we fetishize it, it's become this 447 00:24:04,026 --> 00:24:07,064 highly stylized thing we've developed a taste for. 448 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,736 Having a baby the old way 449 00:24:08,948 --> 00:24:12,112 is a total fetish at this point. 450 00:24:12,326 --> 00:24:15,410 I'm not doing anything different than a gay mom. 451 00:24:15,621 --> 00:24:17,487 Or, or a trans mom. 452 00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:19,538 - Or a Don. - Perfect. 453 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:20,786 I think I need some water. 454 00:24:21,001 --> 00:24:22,042 - I'll get it. - I'll get it. 455 00:24:22,044 --> 00:24:23,626 I'll get it. 456 00:24:33,097 --> 00:24:35,009 I'm just saying that maybe if your mother hadn't 457 00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:37,011 endured the pain of childbirth for you 458 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:38,558 and sacrificed her identity for you, 459 00:24:38,769 --> 00:24:40,681 - you wouldn't screen her calls. - Thank you. 460 00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,559 Ahem, I'm curious 461 00:24:43,774 --> 00:24:47,518 about this friend you impregnated. 462 00:24:47,736 --> 00:24:51,946 - Heh, uh, Kiki? - Yeah, Kiki. 463 00:24:52,157 --> 00:24:54,319 - That was her on the phone before? - Yeah. 464 00:24:54,535 --> 00:24:57,494 She very much wanted to give birth, but her situation was such that she couldn't. 465 00:24:57,705 --> 00:25:01,119 Her... situation 466 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,076 - was such? - Let's just say it works for her. 467 00:25:04,294 --> 00:25:07,253 We're gonna be three people without preconceived notions 468 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:09,205 of designated roles. 469 00:25:09,425 --> 00:25:10,507 Four. 470 00:25:10,509 --> 00:25:11,670 - Four what? - Four people. 471 00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:15,003 - With Kiki. - Yes four, obviously. 472 00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:16,838 Is she going to take care of the baby? 473 00:25:17,057 --> 00:25:18,798 We're going to work those things out as we go along. 474 00:25:19,018 --> 00:25:20,475 Are you having a nanny? 475 00:25:20,686 --> 00:25:23,178 Yeah, I mean, yeah. 476 00:25:23,397 --> 00:25:25,810 So how is that different from me? 477 00:25:27,151 --> 00:25:28,608 It's different. 478 00:25:28,819 --> 00:25:31,857 Meanwhile the kids usually like the nanny better. 479 00:25:32,072 --> 00:25:33,188 No, they don't! 480 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:36,525 I'm gonna be like the fun, sexy nanny then. 481 00:25:36,744 --> 00:25:37,868 Is Kiki moving in with you? 482 00:25:37,870 --> 00:25:39,202 - No. - Maybe temporarily. 483 00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:41,405 You're figuring it out as you go. 484 00:25:41,582 --> 00:25:43,073 She's not living here. 485 00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:44,991 Don't eat too much. 486 00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:48,203 Oh, these cheeses are from this lesbian couple upstate 487 00:25:48,422 --> 00:25:50,584 that name each one of their goats. 488 00:25:50,799 --> 00:25:53,166 Stop fetishizing the cheese. 489 00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:55,380 Hmm-hmm, fuck off. 490 00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:57,929 Oh my god, I was kidding! 491 00:25:59,683 --> 00:26:02,847 People have the most fucked up reasons for having kids. 492 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:06,055 I know women who have them just to jump social class. 493 00:26:06,273 --> 00:26:08,310 Or, or to hang on to their husbands. 494 00:26:08,525 --> 00:26:10,517 Meanwhile, half the time the guy doesn't want to be a father in the first place. 495 00:26:10,736 --> 00:26:14,104 - He's just going along with it. - Jesus Christ, Tina! 496 00:26:15,199 --> 00:26:17,191 It's not all so sinister. 497 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,742 It's actually one of the most beautiful things in life. 498 00:26:19,953 --> 00:26:23,663 And I, I think it's sad that you can't see it that way. 499 00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:28,702 Well, I do too. 500 00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:35,963 So Kiki is whose friend? 501 00:26:38,722 --> 00:26:42,136 She originally was my friend. 502 00:26:42,351 --> 00:26:45,219 She was temping at the place where Wayne was freelancing. 503 00:26:46,313 --> 00:26:49,351 - Classic. - Did you talk to anyone before you did this? 504 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:52,775 Did you talk to anyone before you did this? 505 00:26:52,986 --> 00:26:55,353 No. 506 00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:59,532 You didn't ask us if we'd talked to anyone when you thought we were having a regular old baby. 507 00:26:59,743 --> 00:27:01,200 You thought it was awesome. 508 00:27:01,411 --> 00:27:02,572 Actually I didn't. 509 00:27:03,705 --> 00:27:04,707 Really? 510 00:27:06,041 --> 00:27:08,249 I mean I was happy for you, but I was surprised. 511 00:27:09,169 --> 00:27:12,537 You... You're a little selfish. 512 00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:16,250 I'm selfish? 513 00:27:17,386 --> 00:27:18,593 A little, yeah. 514 00:27:20,514 --> 00:27:22,050 You know I don't even think this sounds legal. 515 00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,928 Legal? 516 00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:26,100 Legal, that's not a moral code I'm particularly interested in. 517 00:27:26,311 --> 00:27:28,394 - So you and Kiki don't have a contract? - No. 518 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:31,643 - No. - All these privileges for married people 519 00:27:31,859 --> 00:27:34,397 and families, tax breaks and health insurance 520 00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:36,603 - and Green Cards, it's sick. - Why did you get married? 521 00:27:37,865 --> 00:27:39,857 Wayne was broke, you gotta work the system. 522 00:27:40,033 --> 00:27:43,572 Don't get that. 523 00:27:48,500 --> 00:27:49,502 Hang on a sec. 524 00:27:51,712 --> 00:27:54,204 You know for a minute there I forgot all about the game. 525 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:58,834 I like Scandinavian mothers. 526 00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:02,136 They're so relaxed. 527 00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:05,715 I could totally be like a Danish mom. 528 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:08,555 What's up? 529 00:28:08,770 --> 00:28:10,432 - She told Clark. - Argh, that idiot. 530 00:28:10,647 --> 00:28:13,481 - Wait, hang on hang on you're going out? - Wait. 531 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,479 I could go with you. We could take my car. 532 00:28:15,694 --> 00:28:16,980 - Great. - Wayne. - Don. 533 00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,403 I'll be right back, Tina. 534 00:28:18,405 --> 00:28:20,818 - Okay. - Wait! 535 00:28:21,033 --> 00:28:23,241 - Have fun. - When are you... Wayne. 536 00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:36,379 It does that sometimes. 537 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,028 You know why Don went? He wants to listen to the game in the car. 538 00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:07,861 - I'm sorry if I got a little... - Yeah. 539 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,663 It's just, this whole thing with Kiki is... 540 00:29:10,874 --> 00:29:12,866 What happened? Who's this guy she told? 541 00:29:13,085 --> 00:29:14,166 Kiki's boyfriend 542 00:29:14,378 --> 00:29:15,789 who's married. 543 00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:18,166 - Her boyfriend's married? - With five kids. 544 00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:20,169 Are you serious? 545 00:29:20,384 --> 00:29:23,627 Well, four or five, five if you count the one in the institution. 546 00:29:23,845 --> 00:29:25,928 Yeah, the one in the institution counts. 547 00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,850 So, five then. 548 00:29:28,850 --> 00:29:30,762 I feel dizzy, do you have any food? 549 00:29:30,978 --> 00:29:32,640 Oh yeah, sorry. 550 00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:35,888 So go straight and to the left. 551 00:29:38,527 --> 00:29:39,608 We're not far. 552 00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:42,861 Hey, we can drag this out as long as you like. 553 00:29:44,449 --> 00:29:45,860 You want me to put that seat back for you? 554 00:29:51,915 --> 00:29:53,702 - Better? - Yeah. 555 00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:58,498 - You want some air? - Yeah. 556 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:09,092 Oh my god, Karen, I'm so sorry. You must be so hungry. 557 00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:13,809 Wayne made this Ethiopian dish. 558 00:30:14,021 --> 00:30:16,138 Oo, what is it? 559 00:30:16,356 --> 00:30:18,598 - Wat. - What? 560 00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:21,855 - Wat, that's wat. - Oh. 561 00:30:22,070 --> 00:30:24,483 Thank you so much. I'm starving. 562 00:30:25,741 --> 00:30:29,325 I'm sorry. I was supposed to be Wayne's tonight. 563 00:30:30,829 --> 00:30:33,242 - I totally spaced. - It's really good. 564 00:30:34,791 --> 00:30:38,159 Really? Mm. 565 00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:43,085 - This is good chow. - Mm, this is seriously good. 566 00:30:43,300 --> 00:30:45,542 Hey, I wanna show you something upstairs. 567 00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,796 - You still smoking? - Yeah, but not in the house. 568 00:31:15,957 --> 00:31:17,949 Where did you get these? 569 00:31:18,168 --> 00:31:20,751 People kept on sending us pictures of their kids, 570 00:31:20,962 --> 00:31:23,545 so I just blew 'em up. 571 00:31:23,757 --> 00:31:27,296 Do your ex-boyfriends send you pictures of their kids all the time? 572 00:31:27,511 --> 00:31:29,798 - No. - Mine do. 573 00:31:30,013 --> 00:31:36,351 Do you think it's this weird sexual overture or aggression? 574 00:31:36,561 --> 00:31:39,804 - Maybe they're just proud. - Doubt it. 575 00:31:40,023 --> 00:31:44,233 Remember Marcello, the organic herb guy from the farmers market? 576 00:31:44,444 --> 00:31:46,902 - Vaguely. - That's his son. 577 00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,563 He's so cute! 578 00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,115 Entre. 579 00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:03,794 It does sort of smell like cat piss in here. 580 00:32:10,095 --> 00:32:11,097 Wow. 581 00:32:12,722 --> 00:32:18,013 I've been collecting jewelry, that women make out of baby teeth. 582 00:32:19,020 --> 00:32:23,264 Necklaces with their kids' initials and names on it. 583 00:32:23,483 --> 00:32:26,851 Like this weird ostentatious conquest. 584 00:32:28,738 --> 00:32:31,856 So Kiki's married boyfriend 585 00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:33,740 had no idea she was doing this? 586 00:32:33,952 --> 00:32:38,196 They were taking a break after he fired her from his office. 587 00:32:38,415 --> 00:32:39,496 Oh god. 588 00:32:39,708 --> 00:32:41,415 Well, you have all these single women 589 00:32:41,626 --> 00:32:44,243 in these extra marital affairs who want to be mothers. 590 00:32:44,463 --> 00:32:46,671 Well, maybe they shouldn't be in extra marital affairs. 591 00:32:46,882 --> 00:32:48,373 Yeah, dream on! 592 00:32:53,763 --> 00:32:55,220 This just seems really weird. 593 00:32:55,390 --> 00:32:57,382 You don't seem like you want to have a baby. 594 00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,221 Wayne didn't want it till June. 595 00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:07,525 When we met, he was totally against it. 596 00:33:08,487 --> 00:33:10,228 We agreed, I mean... 597 00:33:10,405 --> 00:33:13,648 It was a big part of why we were attracted to each other. 598 00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:16,735 We believed in perfect bi-solation. 599 00:33:16,953 --> 00:33:21,573 Two people, alone together in love. 600 00:33:21,791 --> 00:33:25,284 We thought having kids was a kind of agenda. 601 00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:30,338 And then I got pregnant. 602 00:33:32,969 --> 00:33:34,426 Oh. 603 00:33:34,638 --> 00:33:36,800 Which was an accident. 604 00:33:37,015 --> 00:33:38,017 When? 605 00:33:39,184 --> 00:33:40,470 Like a year ago. 606 00:33:43,813 --> 00:33:46,726 - Oh, Tina. - Yeah. 607 00:33:49,152 --> 00:33:53,237 We um, decided against it. 608 00:33:54,241 --> 00:33:57,734 Against the pregnancy, because 609 00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:00,696 we agreed and it was an accident 610 00:34:00,914 --> 00:34:02,450 and we didn't want them, 611 00:34:02,666 --> 00:34:05,875 and we agreed, so... 612 00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:08,415 We ended it. 613 00:34:10,924 --> 00:34:12,005 Was that hard? 614 00:34:17,097 --> 00:34:18,383 Yeah. 615 00:34:20,642 --> 00:34:22,178 Oh, I'm sorry. 616 00:34:24,688 --> 00:34:27,305 Anyway, after that we were suddenly... 617 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:31,684 It was weird, I mean he was always 618 00:34:31,903 --> 00:34:33,690 good with kids, he would like them. 619 00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:38,153 But suddenly, he just had to be a father. 620 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,447 - Had to have a baby. - Wow. 621 00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:46,908 And then when Wayne met Kiki, and... 622 00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:51,287 She wanted to be a mother, but she was in this stupid relationship 623 00:34:51,506 --> 00:34:54,169 where she couldn't have one, and... 624 00:34:58,096 --> 00:35:02,716 I started thinking, I could do as much as a father, right? 625 00:35:05,145 --> 00:35:06,147 Huh. 626 00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:15,061 Hmm, it was something he really wanted. 627 00:35:17,574 --> 00:35:20,282 And I wanted him to have a life, you know. 628 00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,370 What he really wanted. 629 00:35:32,547 --> 00:35:34,004 Others have it easy. 630 00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:39,836 Frickin' late, looking great. 631 00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:43,552 My child, picture on the desk. 632 00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:45,975 - I can do that. - Come on. 633 00:36:05,330 --> 00:36:08,073 I just wanted to do it in a way that I could handle. 634 00:36:11,670 --> 00:36:15,038 Why didn't you just try to get pregnant again and see what happened? 635 00:36:15,256 --> 00:36:17,839 Uh-huh! 636 00:36:18,051 --> 00:36:23,718 Well, I guess it's nice you're trying to give him what he wants. 637 00:36:25,767 --> 00:36:26,803 Right. 638 00:36:30,397 --> 00:36:33,435 - How old is Kiki? - Our age, a little younger. 639 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:41,742 Sit down. 640 00:36:55,588 --> 00:36:56,629 Argh. 641 00:36:58,925 --> 00:36:59,961 Awesome, right? 642 00:37:04,764 --> 00:37:06,426 Ahh, ha, ha, okay! 643 00:37:06,641 --> 00:37:10,510 Okay. 644 00:37:10,687 --> 00:37:14,271 Help. Ow. 645 00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:16,732 - Ah. - Boy or girl? 646 00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:21,358 - Oh god. - Come on, tell me. 647 00:37:24,367 --> 00:37:25,949 - Boy. - Ooo. 648 00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:29,654 - Don't tell Don. - A little boy. 649 00:37:29,873 --> 00:37:32,331 Yeah, so... 650 00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:34,958 Is that what you wanted? 651 00:37:36,755 --> 00:37:39,919 I mean I guess I always thought I'd be happy with either, but... 652 00:37:41,676 --> 00:37:43,838 I always pictured myself with a little girl. 653 00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:50,555 Maybe I'm just not into super heroes and video games 654 00:37:50,727 --> 00:37:53,344 - and dump trucks and reptiles. - Oh, honey. 655 00:37:53,563 --> 00:37:54,849 I don't, I hate science museums. 656 00:37:55,064 --> 00:37:57,397 Oh, everybody hates science museums. 657 00:37:59,903 --> 00:38:01,895 It'll be OK. I'll be OK. 658 00:38:02,822 --> 00:38:04,313 It'll be great! 659 00:38:04,532 --> 00:38:06,319 My friends say I'll forget I ever felt this way. 660 00:38:07,744 --> 00:38:10,031 Daughters steal your beauty when you're pregnant, 661 00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:11,737 have you ever heard that? 662 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:15,324 Yeah, Italians say that, I think 663 00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:17,284 and traditionally everyone wanted boys, 664 00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:19,587 so if you're going to be traditional, it's good, right? 665 00:38:21,299 --> 00:38:22,800 Well... 666 00:38:23,802 --> 00:38:27,512 Traditionally some countries like to drown baby girls, so... 667 00:38:28,598 --> 00:38:30,510 - Fuck tradition. - Ha, ha, yes! 668 00:38:30,683 --> 00:38:32,515 Please, fuck tradition. 669 00:38:33,645 --> 00:38:36,638 Ah, I think a lot of people would love not to have kids 670 00:38:36,856 --> 00:38:39,269 until they're brainwashed into thinking they won't be happy without them. 671 00:38:39,484 --> 00:38:41,191 I see all these girls going up to college, 672 00:38:41,402 --> 00:38:43,644 and I can't help but think why are we educating them, 673 00:38:43,863 --> 00:38:45,650 why don't we send them straight from high school 674 00:38:45,865 --> 00:38:47,652 - to Pilates if that's all they're gonna do? - Tina! 675 00:38:49,077 --> 00:38:51,069 Stop attacking me! 676 00:38:51,287 --> 00:38:52,323 Seriously! 677 00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:56,285 I'm not attacking you. You're attacking me. 678 00:38:56,501 --> 00:38:58,037 How am I attacking you? 679 00:38:58,253 --> 00:39:01,212 Look at you, you're like this giant beach ball of bliss. 680 00:39:01,422 --> 00:39:03,630 You're like this living monument of sexism, 681 00:39:03,842 --> 00:39:06,835 you're so beautiful and glowing and... 682 00:39:16,145 --> 00:39:17,306 I'm going to use the bathroom. 683 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:22,558 I'll, um, check on the guys. 684 00:39:24,362 --> 00:39:26,945 I'm really glad you got a chance to see this. 685 00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:30,403 It's amazing. 686 00:39:32,787 --> 00:39:33,789 Thanks. 687 00:39:35,290 --> 00:39:36,872 I admire your... 688 00:39:38,710 --> 00:39:39,712 You! 689 00:40:08,364 --> 00:40:11,152 Hey this is Wayne. I'm not here right now, leave a message. 690 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,780 Hey, it's me I'm just checking in. 691 00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:15,706 Bye. 692 00:40:17,123 --> 00:40:19,536 No one thinks that it's weird to wanna have a baby, 693 00:40:19,751 --> 00:40:22,869 but basically you're inviting a complete stranger 694 00:40:23,087 --> 00:40:26,376 you know nothing about into your life forever. 695 00:40:26,591 --> 00:40:29,379 But people think adopting a foster child 696 00:40:29,594 --> 00:40:31,460 or a helper monkey is insane. 697 00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:33,466 Did you just say helper monkey? 698 00:40:37,310 --> 00:40:38,596 Come here. 699 00:40:44,901 --> 00:40:47,063 You look a mess, Karen. 700 00:41:10,093 --> 00:41:12,380 This just isn't the greatest time for me. 701 00:41:14,013 --> 00:41:17,552 We're actually... 702 00:41:18,559 --> 00:41:19,925 We're just not having the greatest time. 703 00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:21,726 It's been really hard. 704 00:41:23,731 --> 00:41:27,020 Wayne's so sweet, he's so into the pregnancy. 705 00:41:28,236 --> 00:41:31,980 Yeah well, just 'cause someone's loving and giving 706 00:41:32,198 --> 00:41:34,611 doesn't mean they're not doing it for selfish reasons. 707 00:41:38,663 --> 00:41:40,325 Don's just at work all the time. 708 00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:43,123 And he's just not like that, you know. 709 00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:49,254 And I'm just... feeling insecure. 710 00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,509 - You guys having sex? - No. 711 00:41:56,472 --> 00:41:57,883 Are you getting on otherwise? 712 00:41:59,892 --> 00:42:02,555 I mean, sure. 713 00:42:02,770 --> 00:42:04,511 Aside from the lack of sex 714 00:42:04,731 --> 00:42:09,567 and him never being home and me yelling at him whenever he is. 715 00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:11,814 - Great then. Yeah. - Yeah. 716 00:42:14,073 --> 00:42:16,030 Hey, clearly he's working it in. 717 00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:19,785 - Yeah. - I mean, that was a factor. 718 00:42:22,457 --> 00:42:24,619 Not everyone has a trust fund, Tina. 719 00:42:26,377 --> 00:42:29,541 - Not a trust fund. - Some of us have to live in reality. 720 00:42:29,756 --> 00:42:32,499 - It's not a trust fund. - Well, whatever it is. 721 00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:35,292 It, it's barely enough to scrape by 722 00:42:35,511 --> 00:42:37,628 and I mean, look at where we live. 723 00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:38,849 Still. 724 00:42:40,016 --> 00:42:41,507 Still what? I work my ass off. 725 00:42:45,730 --> 00:42:46,937 Give me some of that wine. 726 00:42:48,483 --> 00:42:50,395 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 727 00:42:50,610 --> 00:42:52,647 It's OK to drink a little bit in the last few months. 728 00:42:52,862 --> 00:42:55,479 Just don't tell Don. 729 00:42:55,698 --> 00:42:57,564 Your secret's safe with me. 730 00:43:00,036 --> 00:43:03,370 - Hmm. - I'm so getting another bottle. 731 00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:08,492 Don didn't wanna have the baby. 732 00:43:09,962 --> 00:43:13,205 I mean not... now anyway. 733 00:43:17,428 --> 00:43:19,169 So, why are you having it? 734 00:43:20,890 --> 00:43:21,892 Pillow. 735 00:43:24,185 --> 00:43:25,721 I didn't want to wait, I'm 42. 736 00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:30,392 We were going to do it anyway. 737 00:43:31,734 --> 00:43:32,895 He thinks I tricked him. 738 00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:41,947 - Did you? - Sort of. 739 00:43:43,746 --> 00:43:45,829 He's gonna be so happy when the baby's born. 740 00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:49,203 Yeah. 741 00:43:49,377 --> 00:43:50,959 Everything looks better at four in the morning 742 00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:52,706 when you're staring into a diaper. 743 00:43:55,383 --> 00:43:56,624 I think he's starting to hate me. 744 00:43:56,843 --> 00:43:58,004 Does it seem like he hates me? 745 00:43:58,219 --> 00:43:59,335 I don't know. 746 00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,920 I think he hates me. 747 00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:03,927 He really hates me! 748 00:44:08,312 --> 00:44:09,928 You were going to have kids anyway, right? 749 00:44:11,023 --> 00:44:13,185 So? Who cares what he thinks. 750 00:44:13,401 --> 00:44:15,609 You're doing what you want. 751 00:44:15,820 --> 00:44:18,278 - Yeah. - You should be with Wayne. 752 00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:24,572 Did you see the way he was looking at you? 753 00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:26,198 No. 754 00:44:26,414 --> 00:44:27,950 I think he's developed like this pregnancy fetish. 755 00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,373 It's gross. 756 00:44:31,961 --> 00:44:33,793 - What's Kiki like? - Grr. 757 00:44:36,090 --> 00:44:40,676 She's stupid in some ways, but she has some sort of theory behind that men love her. 758 00:44:41,596 --> 00:44:43,212 Great. 759 00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:45,639 Where the fuck are those guys? 760 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:55,266 - Oh, I have an idea. - No, don't stop. 761 00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:07,152 No, I'm not playing that game. 762 00:45:07,371 --> 00:45:09,988 - You love this game. - No. 763 00:45:10,208 --> 00:45:12,165 You're curious about Wayne, I can tell. 764 00:45:14,045 --> 00:45:16,082 You're curious about Don. That's what it is. 765 00:45:16,297 --> 00:45:17,959 Ew. No. 766 00:45:18,174 --> 00:45:19,506 Okay. 767 00:45:19,717 --> 00:45:21,674 - Ready? - I'm a little rusty. 768 00:45:21,886 --> 00:45:23,343 Set? 769 00:45:23,554 --> 00:45:24,556 Draw. 770 00:45:28,267 --> 00:45:29,599 What are you doing over there? 771 00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:34,012 You're kind of like the DaVinci of dicks. 772 00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:36,765 You just love drawing penises. 773 00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,231 I think you do this when I'm not even here. 774 00:45:40,446 --> 00:45:43,280 You miss drawing like this, don't you? 775 00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:44,857 Admit it. 776 00:45:45,076 --> 00:45:48,114 Do you remember that first uncircumcised one we did? 777 00:45:49,455 --> 00:45:51,947 Or, I did. 778 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:57,370 Who could forget. It was er, eye opening! 779 00:45:58,881 --> 00:46:01,589 To say the least! 780 00:46:02,551 --> 00:46:04,133 Okay, are you ready? 781 00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:05,347 Hold on. 782 00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:09,010 - Come on. - Hold on! 783 00:46:11,269 --> 00:46:13,135 - It's gotta be perfect. - And. 784 00:46:13,354 --> 00:46:14,970 Pencils down. 785 00:46:15,189 --> 00:46:16,191 Okay, okay. 786 00:46:30,329 --> 00:46:31,536 Karen! 787 00:46:31,747 --> 00:46:33,238 This is so good. 788 00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:37,747 Look at the shading, there is so much feeling. 789 00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:39,582 You always were a better artist than me. 790 00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,379 No. 791 00:46:41,590 --> 00:46:43,422 - Better drawer. - He's got a great little personality! 792 00:46:43,634 --> 00:46:45,500 I like its crown. 793 00:46:45,720 --> 00:46:47,336 That's not what I was... 794 00:46:47,555 --> 00:46:50,639 I don't know what I was going for. 795 00:46:50,850 --> 00:46:51,852 I made it small, so you would feel better. 796 00:46:52,059 --> 00:46:53,266 Oh, that was big of you. 797 00:46:54,312 --> 00:46:55,553 Wayne's cute, right? 798 00:46:55,771 --> 00:46:57,307 He's perfect for you. 799 00:46:57,523 --> 00:46:58,525 I think he's cute. 800 00:46:58,733 --> 00:47:01,396 - He's so principled. - Hmm. 801 00:47:06,407 --> 00:47:12,153 I don't know, I think maybe Don is boning someone else. 802 00:47:14,915 --> 00:47:17,828 A lot of guys hit on me when their wives were pregnant. 803 00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:19,505 Oh, that's just great. 804 00:47:19,670 --> 00:47:21,206 I am just saying, so you don't take it personally. 805 00:47:21,422 --> 00:47:23,505 I think they feel scared or trapped 806 00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:26,629 - or horny or whatever. - You're defending him? 807 00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,005 I am just saying. 808 00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:29,427 Do you think he seems like he is? 809 00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:31,634 - How could I tell? - I don't know. 810 00:47:31,849 --> 00:47:33,090 I hate this. 811 00:47:33,309 --> 00:47:34,641 Have you asked him? 812 00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:37,344 Not directly, just some nasty hints and comments. 813 00:47:37,563 --> 00:47:38,565 OK, suppose he is? 814 00:47:40,107 --> 00:47:41,769 - Do you care? - Of course I care. 815 00:47:41,984 --> 00:47:45,978 OK, so then confront him or ask him or whatever. 816 00:47:46,197 --> 00:47:48,735 Right, and end up a single mom out in the suburbs. 817 00:47:48,949 --> 00:47:51,157 Online dating like Chrissy Shipman. 818 00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:52,863 Who's Crissy Shipman? 819 00:47:53,037 --> 00:47:54,573 You remember Chrissy Shipman, she lived on our floor. 820 00:47:54,789 --> 00:47:56,997 Ew, you still keep up with that looser? 821 00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,915 - Just on Facebook. - Uh. 822 00:48:00,294 --> 00:48:03,753 Just name the baby after some 823 00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:05,830 beloved relative of his. 824 00:48:06,050 --> 00:48:09,543 What's some relative he's totally into? 825 00:48:09,762 --> 00:48:11,094 His grandfather, I guess. 826 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:14,847 - What's his grandfather's name? - Elliot. 827 00:48:15,059 --> 00:48:19,770 It, it's cute. Elliot, Elliot, Elliot. 828 00:48:19,980 --> 00:48:21,346 E.T. phone home. 829 00:48:23,484 --> 00:48:25,020 I would never have thought that. 830 00:48:26,362 --> 00:48:27,443 No, it's really sweet. 831 00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,066 Name the baby Elliot, 832 00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:31,398 you will lock him in for life with that one. 833 00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:34,863 Oh my god, that's them. 834 00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:37,321 - Oh, do you have any mouthwash? - Yeah, come. 835 00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:59,184 Don't ask Don about him fooling around, I know you. 836 00:48:59,395 --> 00:49:00,806 Don't tell Wayne I'm still smoking. 837 00:49:01,021 --> 00:49:02,353 Don't tell Don I was drinking. 838 00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:15,158 I said wait, wait, he has brain cancer? 839 00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:19,079 And they were like, no, Kiki, he is a break dancer. 840 00:49:21,750 --> 00:49:25,960 I can't believe, I mean... 841 00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:28,209 That's fantastic. Here, let me help you. 842 00:49:28,424 --> 00:49:30,461 - Oh my god, yeah. - I can see why you guys chose her. 843 00:49:30,676 --> 00:49:31,962 - Oh, shut up. - VoilĂ . 844 00:49:32,178 --> 00:49:33,840 I'll get you something to put on. 845 00:49:34,054 --> 00:49:36,011 Hi, I'm Kiki. 846 00:49:36,223 --> 00:49:37,930 I'm Wayne and Tina's baby surrogate mom. 847 00:49:38,100 --> 00:49:39,557 - And you are? - I'm Karen. 848 00:49:39,727 --> 00:49:41,889 - You're pregnant too, right? - Oh no, I'm not pregnant. 849 00:49:43,564 --> 00:49:45,055 I'm kidding. 850 00:49:45,274 --> 00:49:46,981 Oh god, good. 851 00:49:47,193 --> 00:49:49,981 It's always so horrible when you ask someone if they're pregnant, 852 00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:53,280 and then it just turns out that they're just you know, fat. 853 00:49:53,491 --> 00:49:55,323 Oh well, I'm pregnant and fat. 854 00:49:55,534 --> 00:49:58,402 Oh god, no, no, no, I didn't mean that you're... 855 00:49:58,621 --> 00:50:01,489 Er, sorry. No, I mean obviously you're pregnant. 856 00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:02,993 Doesn't she look wonderful? 857 00:50:03,209 --> 00:50:05,792 Yeah, you have such rosy cheeks. 858 00:50:06,003 --> 00:50:07,255 Here. 859 00:50:07,755 --> 00:50:09,371 Oh, thank you. 860 00:50:15,763 --> 00:50:18,506 - Ahem. - So who's winning? 861 00:50:18,724 --> 00:50:21,683 Er, Mets. Mets won. 862 00:50:23,854 --> 00:50:25,186 Were you drinking? 863 00:50:25,397 --> 00:50:26,763 - No. - So uh... 864 00:50:26,982 --> 00:50:28,098 How do you two know each other? 865 00:50:28,317 --> 00:50:31,276 - We're married. - Oh, I was just kidding. 866 00:50:31,445 --> 00:50:32,606 You better not have been drinking. 867 00:50:32,821 --> 00:50:34,062 It is really, really bad. 868 00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:36,273 Oh, I'm aware, thank you. 869 00:50:36,450 --> 00:50:38,112 Don't get around your friend and start fucking around. 870 00:50:41,622 --> 00:50:42,625 God. 871 00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:45,407 It is like really weird. 872 00:50:45,626 --> 00:50:47,458 I always thought it would be the hardest thing to give up alcohol. 873 00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:49,753 But I don't even wanna drink. 874 00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:52,877 It's like all I'm craving is, is fresh air. 875 00:50:53,092 --> 00:50:55,835 Fresh fruits and fresh vegetables. 876 00:50:56,053 --> 00:50:59,296 - You seem better. - I am, thank you. 877 00:50:59,515 --> 00:51:01,598 So how many months are you? 878 00:51:01,809 --> 00:51:02,809 16. 879 00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:05,518 Wow! 880 00:51:05,729 --> 00:51:10,315 Were you like, so hot all the time in your first few months? 881 00:51:10,526 --> 00:51:12,188 I don't think I was hot, actually. 882 00:51:12,403 --> 00:51:13,894 Really? 883 00:51:14,113 --> 00:51:16,696 Well, were your breasts like really sensitive? 884 00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:22,278 Because my breasts are like so sensitive all the time. 885 00:51:22,496 --> 00:51:25,534 - And I am so thirsty. - I, I'll get you some water. 886 00:51:25,749 --> 00:51:28,617 Oh, no, no, hey, just, you sit. 887 00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:33,831 Kiki has not had any morning sickness at all, which is great. 888 00:51:34,049 --> 00:51:35,836 What did she tell Clark? 889 00:51:36,051 --> 00:51:38,418 Oh, I don't know, we didn't get into it. 890 00:51:38,637 --> 00:51:39,844 The game was on. 891 00:51:40,055 --> 00:51:41,967 Plus we stopped at a tapas place. 892 00:51:42,182 --> 00:51:43,343 Thank you. 893 00:51:43,559 --> 00:51:48,224 I'm sorry, you stopped at a tapas place? 894 00:51:48,439 --> 00:51:51,273 She was hungry, she wanted to unwind. 895 00:51:54,653 --> 00:51:56,815 I'm really sorry to be breaking up your party like this. 896 00:51:58,115 --> 00:51:59,526 Why are you apologizing to me? 897 00:51:59,742 --> 00:52:01,950 Mm, uhm, I don't know. 898 00:52:03,078 --> 00:52:06,071 - I'm sorry. - It's fine. 899 00:52:06,290 --> 00:52:08,031 - Relax. - Oh, thanks. 900 00:52:08,208 --> 00:52:10,370 So, what happened? 901 00:52:10,586 --> 00:52:12,578 Mm... mm. 902 00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:17,624 Clarks wife is pregnant. 903 00:52:17,843 --> 00:52:19,880 What again? What is that like six? 904 00:52:20,095 --> 00:52:22,883 Yeah, I mean he is never going to leave her. 905 00:52:23,098 --> 00:52:25,306 Ever. So I told him that I was pregnant 906 00:52:25,517 --> 00:52:27,509 and now he wants to leave me. 907 00:52:27,728 --> 00:52:30,311 You know, I'm like really hot. I can't like deal with this, I'm sorry. 908 00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:32,309 Wait, why did you tell him? 909 00:52:32,524 --> 00:52:34,436 Uh, I had to because 910 00:52:34,652 --> 00:52:36,564 when he heard that she was pregnant, he needed to see me 911 00:52:36,779 --> 00:52:38,736 and then when he saw my belly he could just tell. 912 00:52:38,947 --> 00:52:40,529 - What belly? - He saw your belly? 913 00:52:40,741 --> 00:52:42,573 He said it was the stupidest thing that I've ever done. 914 00:52:42,785 --> 00:52:43,992 Who's Clark? 915 00:52:44,203 --> 00:52:46,320 Clark and I have been in a relationship 916 00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:48,370 for five stupid years. 917 00:52:48,582 --> 00:52:50,665 - And he's married? - Yes. 918 00:52:50,876 --> 00:52:54,369 And he doesn't know anything about your arrangement with these two? 919 00:52:54,588 --> 00:52:57,706 - No! - I love it. 920 00:52:57,925 --> 00:53:02,215 - You know what? He said the worst possible things to me. - Like what? 921 00:53:03,222 --> 00:53:05,384 Like you've got better things to do with your life. 922 00:53:05,599 --> 00:53:08,182 And I was like what? Sit around with my looks disintegrating 923 00:53:08,394 --> 00:53:11,603 waiting for you to divorce that preppy little witch you hate? 924 00:53:11,814 --> 00:53:13,146 Jesus. 925 00:53:13,315 --> 00:53:16,683 Oh, oh my god I'm so sorry. 926 00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:18,143 Oh, it's okay. 927 00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:20,107 Oh my god, I'm gonna be OK. 928 00:53:21,115 --> 00:53:23,653 Oh god, I am so sorry. 929 00:53:23,867 --> 00:53:26,154 It's fine. Don't worry about it, she cries all the time. 930 00:53:26,370 --> 00:53:28,077 - Cause You stay out all the time. - You got her drunk. 931 00:53:28,247 --> 00:53:29,454 Arrest me. 932 00:53:29,665 --> 00:53:31,873 I am the one who should be crying. 933 00:53:32,084 --> 00:53:33,700 She's got a man and a baby. 934 00:53:33,919 --> 00:53:38,084 And I have no man and I have like a timeshare in a baby. 935 00:53:38,257 --> 00:53:41,341 I'm sure you and Clark will work it out. 936 00:53:41,552 --> 00:53:42,668 Why should she work it out? 937 00:53:42,886 --> 00:53:44,673 - He's a jerk. - She loves him. 938 00:53:44,888 --> 00:53:47,096 - He's married. - She likes married guys. 939 00:53:47,307 --> 00:53:48,639 I'm almost passed my prime. 940 00:53:48,851 --> 00:53:51,764 No you are a young, beautiful woman. 941 00:53:51,979 --> 00:53:53,641 I am in phase four. 942 00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,347 Oh, you're not in phase four, Kiki. 943 00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:57,478 - Four what? - Er Kiki, Kiki 944 00:53:57,693 --> 00:54:01,061 has these theories about the phases of a woman's life. 945 00:54:01,280 --> 00:54:03,567 - Go ahead, tell them. - No listen, I don't wanna bore you. 946 00:54:03,782 --> 00:54:06,115 No, not at all. 947 00:54:08,245 --> 00:54:10,362 Okay. 948 00:54:10,581 --> 00:54:12,868 There are five phases of a woman's life. 949 00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:15,245 And the first is girlhood. 950 00:54:15,461 --> 00:54:18,750 Like learning what's expected of you. You know, what's sexy. 951 00:54:18,964 --> 00:54:21,377 And incidentally I realized this is where most young women 952 00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:23,629 plant the seeds for their second marriages 953 00:54:23,844 --> 00:54:26,052 by like sitting on their fathers' friends' laps 954 00:54:26,263 --> 00:54:27,299 - and stuff like that. - Nice. 955 00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:29,927 Yeah. And phase two 956 00:54:30,100 --> 00:54:32,262 is when you grow boobs. 957 00:54:32,478 --> 00:54:34,936 And men of all ages, they start to look at them. 958 00:54:35,105 --> 00:54:37,848 And you know it and they know it. 959 00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:41,525 But everyone around you pretends like it's like not happening. 960 00:54:41,695 --> 00:54:45,314 And this is when women are actually in their fullest power. 961 00:54:45,532 --> 00:54:47,615 - Yeah, I'm nervous as a cat around teenage girls. - See. 962 00:54:47,826 --> 00:54:49,488 - Yeah they're very intimidating, Don. - See? 963 00:54:49,703 --> 00:54:51,069 Are you OK? 964 00:54:51,997 --> 00:54:52,999 I'm fine. 965 00:54:54,958 --> 00:54:59,328 Um, Kiki was just telling us about her theory of the phases of a woman's life. 966 00:54:59,546 --> 00:55:01,003 Great. 967 00:55:01,215 --> 00:55:02,626 Phase three 968 00:55:02,841 --> 00:55:03,843 is when you're in your 20's 969 00:55:03,926 --> 00:55:06,009 and your like very early 30's, 970 00:55:06,220 --> 00:55:07,222 and you have to be smart 971 00:55:07,387 --> 00:55:09,174 and supportive. 972 00:55:09,389 --> 00:55:12,632 And you have to like be a really good partner for your man. 973 00:55:12,851 --> 00:55:15,889 Oh, and you have to have a man in phase three. 974 00:55:16,104 --> 00:55:19,097 And you have to stay sexy enough so it keeps him challenged 975 00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:21,979 - and interested. - Ow! You're squeezing my hand too hard. 976 00:55:22,194 --> 00:55:25,187 - Sorry. - And you also have to like follow him around 977 00:55:25,405 --> 00:55:27,237 anywhere so he'll marry you. 978 00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,485 Wow. 979 00:55:28,700 --> 00:55:30,487 And that brings us to phase four. 980 00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:31,909 Which is my phase. 981 00:55:32,120 --> 00:55:33,736 - You are not in phase four. - Phase four. 982 00:55:35,207 --> 00:55:37,824 You have to be a mother. 983 00:55:38,043 --> 00:55:40,911 You see once women turn 30, they like start to look like shit. 984 00:55:41,129 --> 00:55:43,041 And their faces get all like coarse. 985 00:55:43,257 --> 00:55:45,749 And their teeth get all stained from all that partying they did 986 00:55:45,968 --> 00:55:48,301 supporting their man in phase three. 987 00:55:48,470 --> 00:55:51,554 And their cleavage starts to get like chicken skin 988 00:55:51,723 --> 00:55:53,134 and disgusting. 989 00:55:53,350 --> 00:55:57,094 And nobody wants to look directly at women in phase four. 990 00:55:57,312 --> 00:56:01,352 I mean, particularly like in the later stages of it. I mean, I don't. 991 00:56:01,567 --> 00:56:05,902 I don't. I have to make like a concerted effort to look at them. 992 00:56:06,113 --> 00:56:09,197 We all do, it's depressing. 993 00:56:10,325 --> 00:56:14,740 We only need phase four women as mother figures. 994 00:56:14,955 --> 00:56:17,743 As like therapists and mentors 995 00:56:17,958 --> 00:56:20,245 and we need them for their business connections 996 00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:23,419 and their social connections, and we need them to give us like their cool vintage clothing 997 00:56:23,630 --> 00:56:25,212 that they can't fit into anymore. 998 00:56:27,467 --> 00:56:29,925 Clark already has someone in phase four. 999 00:56:31,179 --> 00:56:32,636 He doesn't need me. 1000 00:56:36,852 --> 00:56:38,388 I was his little vixen. 1001 00:56:40,105 --> 00:56:43,098 And now that I'm pregnant, I'm not a vixen anymore. 1002 00:56:47,779 --> 00:56:50,442 Oh my god, I feel so fat! 1003 00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:54,116 I'm like hot and disgusting. 1004 00:56:57,623 --> 00:56:59,205 I'm still a vixen inside. 1005 00:57:00,417 --> 00:57:01,749 I'm not. 1006 00:57:01,919 --> 00:57:05,083 - I am not a vixen. - Yeah, you are. 1007 00:57:05,255 --> 00:57:07,588 You are both vixens. 1008 00:57:07,799 --> 00:57:09,665 No I'm not, look at me. 1009 00:57:09,885 --> 00:57:13,299 Oh my god, I can't keep having this conversation with you. 1010 00:57:13,472 --> 00:57:15,714 Every day she wants me to tell her she looks beautiful, 1011 00:57:15,933 --> 00:57:18,266 and the truth is she's looked better. 1012 00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:19,809 And she will again. 1013 00:57:21,063 --> 00:57:24,022 - What if I don't? - You better. 1014 00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:27,980 Hey, you are luminous. 1015 00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:31,438 - Give it a rest. - All I want is to have a baby. 1016 00:57:33,367 --> 00:57:34,903 And I wanna get married. 1017 00:57:36,036 --> 00:57:37,572 Why is that so hard? 1018 00:57:39,122 --> 00:57:42,286 Oh, and I have to move out of the apartment. 1019 00:57:42,501 --> 00:57:43,708 Why? Does he pay for the apartment? 1020 00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:46,707 Oh, I think that's personal. Don't you? 1021 00:57:47,673 --> 00:57:52,213 - Oh yeah, certainly, I'm sorry. - No, like, don't even... 1022 00:57:52,427 --> 00:57:54,714 Oh shit. I'm sorry. 1023 00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:03,231 Yeah. 1024 00:58:04,690 --> 00:58:08,855 Oh, oh god, I'm so sorry. Where should I be? 1025 00:58:09,069 --> 00:58:10,776 - Is that him? - Um, 1026 00:58:10,988 --> 00:58:12,775 well actually I'm with people who care about me, right now. 1027 00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:15,903 Yeah, uh-huh, that's right. 1028 00:58:19,162 --> 00:58:20,619 You know what? You can just like, go fuck yourself! 1029 00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:23,665 I'm gonna hang up right now! 1030 00:58:23,875 --> 00:58:25,161 If you don't wanna talk to him, 1031 00:58:25,377 --> 00:58:26,913 why don't you turn off your phone? 1032 00:58:27,129 --> 00:58:28,916 Um, I don't know, I should. 1033 00:58:29,131 --> 00:58:31,214 - We should leave. - No, god no, okay. 1034 00:58:31,425 --> 00:58:34,168 I'm sorry. You know what? I don't wanna mess up your party. 1035 00:58:34,386 --> 00:58:35,968 - I'm gonna go. - No, don't go! 1036 00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:38,672 - OK? - OK. 1037 00:58:39,766 --> 00:58:43,055 - What did he want? - Um, I guess... 1038 00:58:43,270 --> 00:58:45,102 I guess he wants me to change my mind. 1039 00:58:45,272 --> 00:58:47,980 - What does that mean? - What do you think it means? 1040 00:58:48,191 --> 00:58:49,227 Oh, absolutely not! 1041 00:58:49,443 --> 00:58:50,854 Hey! Don't yell at me. 1042 00:58:51,069 --> 00:58:52,901 I'm not yelling, I'm just adamant. 1043 00:58:53,113 --> 00:58:55,230 - This is our kid we're talking about, Kiki. - I know. 1044 00:58:55,449 --> 00:58:56,735 Is that something you're considering? 1045 00:58:56,908 --> 00:58:58,490 - No. - Are you sure? 1046 00:58:58,660 --> 00:59:01,368 - Yeah. - I mean, you want to do this, right? 1047 00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:03,492 - This is something you want? - Yes. 1048 00:59:03,665 --> 00:59:04,997 I wanna have a baby. 1049 00:59:05,208 --> 00:59:06,289 OK, then. 1050 00:59:07,627 --> 00:59:08,630 Sort of. 1051 00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:11,457 I mean, oh my god. 1052 00:59:11,673 --> 00:59:13,335 How did I mess up my life so bad? 1053 00:59:15,010 --> 00:59:17,297 I think I just have too much integrity. 1054 00:59:17,512 --> 00:59:19,094 - Huh. - All of my friends said 1055 00:59:19,306 --> 00:59:20,430 I should have just gotten pregnant 1056 00:59:20,432 --> 00:59:21,593 when I was first seeing Clark. 1057 00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:23,595 All of my friends said it. 1058 00:59:23,810 --> 00:59:25,346 Within three months I should have just gotten like knocked up, 1059 00:59:25,562 --> 00:59:28,145 while he was so vulnerable, you know? 1060 00:59:28,356 --> 00:59:30,063 While he was dying for me. 1061 00:59:30,275 --> 00:59:33,484 - I've ruined my life. - This guy sounds like a total asshole. 1062 00:59:33,653 --> 00:59:37,192 He's not. You don't even know, his wife is horrible. 1063 00:59:37,407 --> 00:59:39,774 He doesn't even want kids, but every time he's about to leave her 1064 00:59:39,993 --> 00:59:41,154 she gets pregnant! 1065 00:59:41,369 --> 00:59:44,362 - Magically. - Oh, she does it on purpose! 1066 00:59:44,581 --> 00:59:46,664 She doesn't even love him. It's like she hates him. 1067 00:59:46,875 --> 00:59:48,537 All she ever does is yell at him. 1068 00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:51,168 He's just too good of a guy to leave her. 1069 00:59:51,379 --> 00:59:54,372 He's like this noble person 1070 00:59:54,591 --> 00:59:57,083 who has been trapped by this horrible woman 1071 00:59:57,302 --> 01:00:00,591 who keeps having his children and then turning them against him. 1072 01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:03,469 - He married her. - Because she was pregnant. 1073 01:00:03,642 --> 01:00:06,635 I mean, people never have sympathy for men. 1074 01:00:06,853 --> 01:00:10,472 And he has another ex-wife who has been sponging off of him for years. 1075 01:00:10,690 --> 01:00:13,023 - He does? - And she'll never get re-married because she wants to keep 1076 01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:14,476 getting alimony from him. 1077 01:00:14,694 --> 01:00:16,811 See divorce laws in this country are outrageous, 1078 01:00:16,988 --> 01:00:18,775 that's what needs reform. 1079 01:00:18,990 --> 01:00:20,731 - I feel a little bit sick. - Do you want some water? 1080 01:00:20,951 --> 01:00:22,658 - No. - okay then. 1081 01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:25,862 Why can't I ever just have what I want? 1082 01:00:26,081 --> 01:00:28,744 No one ever wants to be with me for forever. 1083 01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:30,825 Just on the weekdays. 1084 01:00:32,295 --> 01:00:33,661 What's wrong with me? 1085 01:00:50,939 --> 01:00:53,522 Oh my god, I love this! 1086 01:00:55,902 --> 01:00:58,269 It's perfect, it looks like he got a little crown. 1087 01:01:00,282 --> 01:01:02,990 - What's this supposed to be? - Give me... 1088 01:01:03,201 --> 01:01:04,034 Is that you? 1089 01:01:04,035 --> 01:01:06,072 Woah, okay this one... 1090 01:01:06,288 --> 01:01:09,247 Whoa! 1091 01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,574 - Oh my god, did you draw this? - She made me do it. 1092 01:01:11,793 --> 01:01:14,410 - It's something that we used to do. - C'mon let's, let's have a look. 1093 01:01:14,629 --> 01:01:17,588 - Come on, come on. - Oh my god, that looks great. 1094 01:01:17,799 --> 01:01:19,711 - What's this? Huh? - What? 1095 01:01:19,926 --> 01:01:21,542 What yeah, I'm sorry. 1096 01:01:21,761 --> 01:01:24,299 Maybe you should show Kiki your penis, so everyone knows. 1097 01:01:24,514 --> 01:01:26,676 Yeah, maybe I should! 1098 01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:29,259 - OK kids, please. - I just don't understand why you would draw 1099 01:01:29,477 --> 01:01:31,639 this unflattering rendition of my penis? 1100 01:01:31,855 --> 01:01:34,142 - Why would you do that? - She actually said it didn't do you justice. 1101 01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:36,690 - Thank you. - You are quite an artist. 1102 01:01:36,902 --> 01:01:38,359 Am I too female, Tina? 1103 01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:40,232 Yeah, you know what? Maybe you should wear an undershirt 1104 01:01:40,405 --> 01:01:41,816 and like beat me or something. 1105 01:01:42,032 --> 01:01:43,568 Maybe I should 1106 01:01:43,742 --> 01:01:46,280 since you made me wear this stupid shirt in the first place. 1107 01:01:46,494 --> 01:01:47,951 Oh, super macho! 1108 01:01:48,163 --> 01:01:50,325 I'd like to amend my drawing, if I may. 1109 01:01:50,498 --> 01:01:52,034 - Wayne, it's just a game. - No! 1110 01:01:52,209 --> 01:01:54,542 What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? 1111 01:01:55,921 --> 01:01:57,037 How should I be acting? 1112 01:01:57,255 --> 01:01:58,837 Since it's up you, huh? 1113 01:01:59,049 --> 01:02:00,335 I act the way you want me to 1114 01:02:00,508 --> 01:02:02,465 and you draw me with a one inch cock! 1115 01:02:02,677 --> 01:02:04,088 It's not one inch! 1116 01:02:04,304 --> 01:02:06,967 We didn't even really determine the scale, Wayne. 1117 01:02:07,140 --> 01:02:08,472 Well, you figured it out. 1118 01:02:08,683 --> 01:02:10,265 You know, I think what Wayne is trying to say... 1119 01:02:10,435 --> 01:02:11,971 I don't really care what you think Wayne is trying to say. 1120 01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:14,512 Don't tell her what to care about what someone thinks. 1121 01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:16,142 - what? - What? 1122 01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,816 Kiki, have the baby, Wayne, change the baby! 1123 01:02:19,027 --> 01:02:21,440 But Tina goes off on her merry way 1124 01:02:21,655 --> 01:02:23,066 doing whatever she wants, because 1125 01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:24,317 the only thing that's important in the world right now 1126 01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:25,898 is what's Tina wants. 1127 01:02:26,117 --> 01:02:27,608 - I'm getting a stomach ache. - Don, should we go? 1128 01:02:27,827 --> 01:02:29,193 No, no, no, shh. 1129 01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:31,278 I didn't do this whole thing so you could turn around 1130 01:02:31,498 --> 01:02:32,579 and persecute Kiki. 1131 01:02:32,791 --> 01:02:34,077 How am I persecuting Kiki? 1132 01:02:34,292 --> 01:02:35,828 You're treating her like a second class citizen. 1133 01:02:36,044 --> 01:02:38,457 Oh, suddenly she has her crotch in your face 1134 01:02:38,672 --> 01:02:40,208 and I'm persecuting her? 1135 01:02:40,423 --> 01:02:42,085 She's not an idiot, she knows exactly what she's doing. 1136 01:02:42,300 --> 01:02:43,757 Put the fucking sweat pants on. 1137 01:02:43,927 --> 01:02:45,293 Uh-hu, do not talk to her like that! 1138 01:02:45,470 --> 01:02:46,711 Hmm. That's the mother of your child. 1139 01:02:46,930 --> 01:02:48,262 You can mind your own business. 1140 01:02:48,473 --> 01:02:49,964 Too much male energy in the room for you, Tina? 1141 01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:51,674 - Oh, is that how you describe the energy? - Yeah. 1142 01:02:51,893 --> 01:02:53,805 OK, I gotta pee. 1143 01:03:00,068 --> 01:03:02,606 - It's time to go. - OK. 1144 01:03:16,126 --> 01:03:17,742 You got something on your dress there. 1145 01:03:21,881 --> 01:03:23,918 You know what they used to call women like you? 1146 01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:25,466 What, Don? 1147 01:03:26,886 --> 01:03:27,890 Witches. 1148 01:03:29,306 --> 01:03:31,969 Yeah. Women like me have always scared men like you. 1149 01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:33,185 You don't scare me. 1150 01:03:34,060 --> 01:03:36,393 Yeah, I do. 1151 01:03:37,564 --> 01:03:40,022 It seems somethings growing between these two. 1152 01:03:40,233 --> 01:03:42,395 No, sorry. 1153 01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:47,480 Something between us has grown inside her. 1154 01:03:47,699 --> 01:03:49,816 Huh, that's very good. You like playing games. 1155 01:03:50,035 --> 01:03:51,401 You get off on power games? 1156 01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:55,863 I think this is a very interesting game you're playing right here. 1157 01:03:57,292 --> 01:04:00,456 Kiki, you've been kicked out of your apartment, right? 1158 01:04:00,628 --> 01:04:03,086 - Yeah. - Hmm, maybe I can help you. 1159 01:04:03,298 --> 01:04:06,541 - Don. - I just bought a building in the East Village 1160 01:04:06,760 --> 01:04:09,468 and there's a rent stabilized apartment. 1161 01:04:09,679 --> 01:04:11,386 We just evicted the tenant. 1162 01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:13,089 Was it an elderly person? 1163 01:04:13,308 --> 01:04:15,516 What about I put you on the lease? 1164 01:04:15,727 --> 01:04:18,219 - What would that mean? - That would mean you have a rent stabilized apartment 1165 01:04:18,438 --> 01:04:19,679 in the East Village for the rest of your life 1166 01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:22,265 for about $415 a month. 1167 01:04:24,110 --> 01:04:25,351 Oh my god! 1168 01:04:25,570 --> 01:04:27,232 - Wait. - Would that change anything? 1169 01:04:27,447 --> 01:04:30,406 - Ha, ha, oh my god. - Don. 1170 01:04:30,575 --> 01:04:32,817 We're not giving Kiki an apartment. 1171 01:04:33,036 --> 01:04:34,652 No, I'm not talking about giving it to Kiki. 1172 01:04:36,915 --> 01:04:38,201 I'm talking about giving it to Wayne. 1173 01:04:41,628 --> 01:04:43,290 Wayne doesn't need an apartment. 1174 01:04:43,505 --> 01:04:47,545 If that would change anything in this... Situation. 1175 01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,250 No, thanks. 1176 01:04:49,469 --> 01:04:52,507 I'm offering it to Wayne. 1177 01:04:54,557 --> 01:04:57,015 - Why would you do that? - Well, I need a project too. 1178 01:04:59,354 --> 01:05:00,640 He doesn't want... 1179 01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:05,562 - Does it have a washer and a dryer? - There's a hook up. 1180 01:05:10,281 --> 01:05:12,398 I think we should talk about it. 1181 01:05:12,617 --> 01:05:14,984 I mean it's a generous offer. 1182 01:05:15,203 --> 01:05:16,614 Are you high? 1183 01:05:16,830 --> 01:05:18,537 I mean if you two don't have a legal agreement 1184 01:05:18,748 --> 01:05:20,614 - and Kiki is the mother... - It's my egg. 1185 01:05:20,834 --> 01:05:23,121 - You don't really have a legal agreement. - Wayne and I are married. 1186 01:05:23,336 --> 01:05:24,793 By a drunk guy in Thailand. 1187 01:05:25,004 --> 01:05:26,666 - It's Fiji - By a drunk guy in Fiji. 1188 01:05:27,632 --> 01:05:30,295 I mean just in case legal is a moral code you're interested in. 1189 01:05:32,804 --> 01:05:34,261 Kiki has my baby inside her. 1190 01:05:34,472 --> 01:05:35,804 Our, our baby. 1191 01:05:36,015 --> 01:05:38,348 And I'm feeling all these primal 1192 01:05:38,560 --> 01:05:40,973 feelings arise unexpectantly very powerful. 1193 01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:42,394 I didn't know I was going to feel so... 1194 01:05:42,605 --> 01:05:43,846 - Primal? - Yeah! 1195 01:05:44,023 --> 01:05:46,015 Yeah, primal. 1196 01:05:46,234 --> 01:05:48,442 - Great, so you finally muster this primal male feeling and... - And what? 1197 01:05:48,653 --> 01:05:51,111 I, I don't know what, Wayne? 1198 01:05:51,322 --> 01:05:53,314 - What? - I don't know, I don't know. 1199 01:05:53,533 --> 01:05:55,490 Well, spit it out, because you've got a sweet offer on the table, right, Don? 1200 01:05:55,660 --> 01:05:57,526 - Right. - You know, Tina. 1201 01:05:57,745 --> 01:06:01,079 It is a basic feminine instinct 1202 01:06:01,291 --> 01:06:03,078 that's lacking in you. 1203 01:06:03,293 --> 01:06:06,457 Really, what basic feminine instinct am I lacking this week? 1204 01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:07,832 Nurturing. 1205 01:06:08,047 --> 01:06:09,754 - I hate that word! - I love it. 1206 01:06:11,342 --> 01:06:13,083 She's nurturing? 1207 01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:14,965 She's a fucking train wreck. 1208 01:06:15,180 --> 01:06:16,304 Excuse me? 1209 01:06:16,306 --> 01:06:18,548 - She's having my baby. - Our! 1210 01:06:18,766 --> 01:06:20,428 Our baby! 1211 01:06:20,643 --> 01:06:21,884 - Whatever. - I'm not nurturing? 1212 01:06:22,103 --> 01:06:24,265 All I do is nurture you. 1213 01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:26,689 I support your meandering career. 1214 01:06:26,900 --> 01:06:30,610 I pay for this place, I'm so fucking sick of nurturing, I could puke! 1215 01:06:30,778 --> 01:06:34,442 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I floated your fucking magazine. 1216 01:06:34,657 --> 01:06:36,774 You don't float it anymore. You ditched it! 1217 01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:40,282 Because we started a new project, Wayne! 1218 01:06:41,372 --> 01:06:44,160 You know, there's a photograph in a book. 1219 01:06:45,251 --> 01:06:49,916 A family of women. A woman riding a bike pregnant. 1220 01:06:50,131 --> 01:06:52,168 The wind blowing in her hair. 1221 01:06:52,383 --> 01:06:54,045 Wearing denim overalls. 1222 01:06:54,260 --> 01:06:56,968 The expression on her face. 1223 01:06:57,180 --> 01:06:58,341 Simple joy. 1224 01:06:59,307 --> 01:07:00,473 That's what I want. 1225 01:07:00,475 --> 01:07:03,138 - A pair of overalls? - No. 1226 01:07:06,147 --> 01:07:08,230 Simple joy. 1227 01:07:09,692 --> 01:07:11,934 It's not simple, Wayne. 1228 01:07:12,153 --> 01:07:13,564 It is for some people. 1229 01:07:18,451 --> 01:07:19,532 OK. 1230 01:07:20,578 --> 01:07:22,319 I'm gonna make it really simple. 1231 01:07:24,290 --> 01:07:26,498 Are you banging her? 1232 01:07:28,419 --> 01:07:29,420 No. 1233 01:07:30,421 --> 01:07:31,878 - OK, then. - But I... 1234 01:07:32,090 --> 01:07:33,956 But what? What are you trying to say? 1235 01:07:34,133 --> 01:07:37,592 I, I don't know. Stop pushing me. 1236 01:07:37,804 --> 01:07:39,921 I just don't want to miss out on something vital. 1237 01:07:40,139 --> 01:07:43,473 Something vital? You and I, this isn't vital? 1238 01:07:43,685 --> 01:07:46,052 No, you are no longer vital to the equation. 1239 01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:48,854 - You're... you didn't want to be. - We're not vital? 1240 01:07:49,065 --> 01:07:52,024 That was the whole fuckin plan or... 1241 01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:54,067 Or was I just the bread... Oh my god. 1242 01:07:54,279 --> 01:07:57,067 Did you guys plan this, was this some kind of plan? 1243 01:07:57,282 --> 01:07:59,274 - You know we didn't. - I don't know anything anymore. 1244 01:07:59,492 --> 01:08:02,200 - How are guys gonna make money? - Maybe you can provide child support. 1245 01:08:02,412 --> 01:08:03,573 You're having an abortion. 1246 01:08:03,788 --> 01:08:05,825 - No, I'm not. - Yes, you are. 1247 01:08:06,040 --> 01:08:08,032 - She's not having an abortion. - We'll see about that. 1248 01:08:08,251 --> 01:08:10,618 - Not unless Clark and I get back together. - You're not! 1249 01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:14,584 You're incredible. This is what you choose after all you're high moral ground? 1250 01:08:14,799 --> 01:08:18,634 You choose a rescue mission, the power of a powerless woman 1251 01:08:18,845 --> 01:08:20,882 no man can resist. Were you ever a stripper? 1252 01:08:21,097 --> 01:08:22,258 So what if she was? 1253 01:08:22,473 --> 01:08:23,805 You didn't love me! 1254 01:08:24,017 --> 01:08:25,133 You married me for tax purposes. 1255 01:08:25,351 --> 01:08:26,467 Don't be an idiot. 1256 01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:28,097 You didn't want my baby. 1257 01:08:28,313 --> 01:08:29,520 You killed my child! 1258 01:08:29,731 --> 01:08:32,474 - This again, no. - Yes, this again. I'm sorry! 1259 01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:34,809 You can't agree to it and then hold it against me 1260 01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:36,269 for the rest of our lives. 1261 01:08:36,487 --> 01:08:38,945 I can't help how I feel! 1262 01:08:39,157 --> 01:08:42,321 - After you did what you did. - We did it. 1263 01:08:42,493 --> 01:08:45,281 You did it! It was your choice, I went along with it. 1264 01:08:45,496 --> 01:08:47,658 It was your choice. 1265 01:08:47,874 --> 01:08:50,207 I wanna feel the kind of love people talk about. 1266 01:08:50,418 --> 01:08:52,284 - Me too. - I don't wanna think about myself all the time. 1267 01:08:52,503 --> 01:08:54,836 - Me too. - I want to be with a woman 1268 01:08:55,048 --> 01:08:57,665 who doesn't think having my baby is ruining her life. 1269 01:08:57,884 --> 01:08:59,216 Or one that just won't say it? 1270 01:08:59,427 --> 01:09:02,044 You want a liar, you want a manipulative coward? 1271 01:09:02,263 --> 01:09:03,845 That's, that's what you think about mothers. 1272 01:09:04,057 --> 01:09:05,468 You'd be surprised. 1273 01:09:05,683 --> 01:09:07,140 All night you've been attacking her. 1274 01:09:07,352 --> 01:09:10,060 - Her? - And Kiki and anyone who makes choices, 1275 01:09:10,271 --> 01:09:11,603 choices you don't happen to agree with. 1276 01:09:11,814 --> 01:09:14,898 Because they are miserable and they won't admit it! 1277 01:09:15,109 --> 01:09:16,691 She's joyous! 1278 01:09:16,903 --> 01:09:19,145 - She's serene! - You wanna look at Karen. 1279 01:09:19,322 --> 01:09:21,530 First time since Kiki walked in, but... 1280 01:09:21,741 --> 01:09:23,152 You know what, okay. 1281 01:09:23,368 --> 01:09:25,826 - Tina! - This is your idea of a happy couple? 1282 01:09:26,037 --> 01:09:28,529 A perfect situation? 1283 01:09:33,795 --> 01:09:34,831 I am happy. 1284 01:09:38,758 --> 01:09:41,842 Ugh! Huh-huh-huh! 1285 01:09:46,474 --> 01:09:47,931 OK. 1286 01:09:48,142 --> 01:09:51,556 I'm sick of everyone pretending to be happy. 1287 01:09:51,771 --> 01:09:55,890 Everyone on drugs, pretending everything's fine and buying big houses 1288 01:09:56,109 --> 01:09:58,601 to get away from each other, having kids 'cause they've run out of friends 1289 01:09:58,820 --> 01:10:01,733 having these fucking little accessories who are excuses 1290 01:10:01,948 --> 01:10:03,985 for every fucked up choice they make. 1291 01:10:04,200 --> 01:10:08,410 And they are just gonna grow up to be more people I fucking hate! 1292 01:10:08,621 --> 01:10:11,534 Those are your words, Wayne. 1293 01:10:11,749 --> 01:10:14,116 I don't feel like that anymore. 1294 01:10:14,293 --> 01:10:17,457 I'm allowed to change, Tina. 1295 01:10:18,965 --> 01:10:21,002 OK, OK. 1296 01:10:22,760 --> 01:10:24,467 You're happy? 1297 01:10:26,848 --> 01:10:27,884 Yes. 1298 01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:35,808 - Really? - Yes. 1299 01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:42,732 We're happy. You're the one who's unhappy. 1300 01:10:42,947 --> 01:10:44,813 So everyone's happy except me? 1301 01:10:45,032 --> 01:10:46,739 - Looks like it. - I'm happy! 1302 01:10:48,119 --> 01:10:49,576 I mean as long as I can get the apartment. 1303 01:10:52,039 --> 01:10:53,746 This sucks! 1304 01:10:56,335 --> 01:10:58,873 After everything I did for you. 1305 01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:02,047 I... I did this for you. 1306 01:11:02,258 --> 01:11:06,673 And I let her into our lives so you could have what you wanted. 1307 01:11:06,888 --> 01:11:09,551 'Cause that's how much I love you, bonehead. 1308 01:11:09,766 --> 01:11:12,884 I don't even understand what you want. 1309 01:11:13,102 --> 01:11:15,765 It's all theories and semantics with you. 1310 01:11:15,980 --> 01:11:17,437 You want equality. 1311 01:11:17,648 --> 01:11:19,856 You wanna change the world, you want social justice, 1312 01:11:20,067 --> 01:11:23,435 you want all this crap I don't even remember anymore. 1313 01:11:23,654 --> 01:11:27,147 When did social justice become crap to you? 1314 01:11:28,117 --> 01:11:31,952 You sound like you joined the pod-people. Wayne, come on. 1315 01:11:36,334 --> 01:11:40,419 - Maybe this is what you want. - No. 1316 01:11:42,340 --> 01:11:44,297 You can visit. 1317 01:11:44,509 --> 01:11:46,501 You can still do your project. 1318 01:11:46,719 --> 01:11:51,555 It might be good for your project. And, hey, hey. 1319 01:11:52,767 --> 01:11:55,305 You're gonna do so many amazing things in life. 1320 01:11:55,520 --> 01:11:57,056 And I'm not gonna stand in your way. 1321 01:12:28,177 --> 01:12:33,718 Well, this has been interesting. 1322 01:12:36,477 --> 01:12:38,184 - Are we leaving? - Yeah. 1323 01:12:59,542 --> 01:13:01,033 We'll be in touch. 1324 01:13:06,215 --> 01:13:07,797 Can I hug you? 1325 01:13:38,664 --> 01:13:42,203 Send a picture of Elliot when he's born. 1326 01:13:43,878 --> 01:13:45,414 Elliot? 1327 01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:57,013 It was super awesome meeting you guys. 1328 01:14:15,159 --> 01:14:16,991 I'm gonna take Kiki home. 1329 01:15:02,081 --> 01:15:04,539 I forgot... I forgot the bike. 1330 01:15:16,804 --> 01:15:18,420 I'm sorry. 1331 01:17:21,512 --> 01:17:22,969 Hi, what are you doing here? 1332 01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:25,718 Oh my god, I haven't seen you in so long...99332

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