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1
00:00:00,471 --> 00:00:01,564
Hey, did we get new towels?
2
00:00:01,632 --> 00:00:02,673
'Cause the one I just used
3
00:00:02,741 --> 00:00:05,759
was like drying off
with a wicker basket.
4
00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,159
No.
No, I got new fabric softener.
5
00:00:08,227 --> 00:00:09,989
It's supposed to be good
for the environment.
6
00:00:10,057 --> 00:00:12,253
All right, we got to go
through this again?
7
00:00:12,394 --> 00:00:14,581
"Good for the environment"
means it sucks.
8
00:00:14,675 --> 00:00:16,242
"Recyclable"...
It falls apart.
9
00:00:16,330 --> 00:00:20,010
"Organic"... You pay twice as
much, and it tastes like crap.
10
00:00:20,503 --> 00:00:21,870
- That's a nice run, Dad.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:21,940 --> 00:00:23,846
Yeah. That's right up there
with your, uh,
12
00:00:23,914 --> 00:00:27,276
"you burn more calories driving
than walking" theory.
13
00:00:28,416 --> 00:00:30,354
It's about adrenaline.
14
00:00:31,346 --> 00:00:33,604
Sweetheart.
Our results are here.
15
00:00:33,672 --> 00:00:35,872
- Results?
- Yeah, we took one of those DNA tests.
16
00:00:35,940 --> 00:00:37,378
With just a little bit
of saliva,
17
00:00:37,446 --> 00:00:39,003
they can unravel your DNA
18
00:00:39,071 --> 00:00:42,792
and solve the mystery of your
ancestry for generations back.
19
00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:46,760
I'm 98% English.
20
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:49,716
- Whoa.
- Wait.
21
00:00:49,784 --> 00:00:52,925
According to this,
I'm 16% Viking?
22
00:00:52,993 --> 00:00:54,245
Viking?
Hold the cheese.
23
00:00:54,313 --> 00:00:55,878
Let me see that thing.
24
00:00:56,826 --> 00:00:58,815
Whoa.
This is incredible.
25
00:00:58,883 --> 00:01:01,440
If you're 16% Viking,
that makes me, uh...
26
00:01:01,752 --> 00:01:04,130
I guess... I mean, you double
it up for the parent, right?
27
00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,174
So you'd be... Double it up.
That would be, uh...
28
00:01:06,372 --> 00:01:08,901
You just bang it up twice.
You go, "Boom, boom."
29
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,696
Why...
I'm totally blanking on this.
30
00:01:12,764 --> 00:01:14,035
Why am I blanking?
I don't e...
31
00:01:14,103 --> 00:01:15,523
It's 32%.
32%.
32
00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:17,324
32%.
That means I'm 1/3 Viking.
33
00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:20,018
Great. I've already played three
sports, and now I'm a Viking?
34
00:01:20,075 --> 00:01:21,510
Boys will never talk to me.
35
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,421
Yeah.
It's 'cause you're a Viking.
36
00:01:24,326 --> 00:01:26,760
Hey, be proud of your
Nordic heritage, all right?
37
00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:28,580
We're Vikings.
We're brave,
38
00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:30,650
we're strong,
and we are fearless.
39
00:01:30,718 --> 00:01:32,628
Do you still want me to pick
up new fabric softener?
40
00:01:32,695 --> 00:01:34,706
I do. Uh, and get the one
with the little teddy bear
41
00:01:34,773 --> 00:01:36,447
that rolls around
in the towels. Thanks.
42
00:01:36,659 --> 00:01:39,486
Snuggles. That's what
all the Vikings used.
43
00:01:39,570 --> 00:01:44,428
♪ I am not your ordinary guy ♪
*KEVIN CAN WAIT*
Season 02 Episode 16
Title: "40 under 40"
44
00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:45,817
Morning, Rootger.
45
00:01:45,885 --> 00:01:49,641
Listen, a, uh... A local
magazine is doing a story on me,
46
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:50,791
and they're gonna be
coming by,
47
00:01:50,858 --> 00:01:52,228
taking pictures of me
in the office.
48
00:01:52,295 --> 00:01:53,665
- Oh, great. Yeah.
- Yeah.
49
00:01:53,751 --> 00:01:56,163
But if Kevin calls,
you don't need to mention it to him.
50
00:01:56,231 --> 00:01:57,751
I'll handle it.
Just tell him I'm busy.
51
00:01:57,879 --> 00:01:58,964
- Got it.
- Okay, great.
52
00:01:59,032 --> 00:02:00,305
- All right. Kevin!
- Thanks.
53
00:02:00,372 --> 00:02:01,743
Yeah. What's up?
54
00:02:02,051 --> 00:02:03,751
- Vanessa's busy.
- Huh?
55
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,899
Hey!
Uh... you're here.
56
00:02:06,967 --> 00:02:09,169
I thought you were tailing
Mr. Martin all day today.
57
00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:10,336
I did.
Uh-huh.
58
00:02:10,404 --> 00:02:12,425
Uh, it turns out he's cheating
with the FedEx lady.
59
00:02:12,493 --> 00:02:13,993
I didn't even have
to get out of the car,
60
00:02:14,022 --> 00:02:15,806
which is great 'cause I had
a bagel sandwich going.
61
00:02:15,873 --> 00:02:17,452
Nice, nice.
Little...
62
00:02:18,666 --> 00:02:20,157
Th... The thing is, I...
63
00:02:20,225 --> 00:02:21,229
- Hey, Vanessa.
- Hey...
64
00:02:21,297 --> 00:02:22,438
uh, Kristen.
65
00:02:22,506 --> 00:02:25,922
Um, this is Kristen
from Long Island Insider.
66
00:02:25,990 --> 00:02:28,126
She wrote a story
about Monkey Fist.
67
00:02:28,325 --> 00:02:31,219
So, this is Kevin,
and this is Rootger.
68
00:02:31,493 --> 00:02:33,243
So, do you want
to just set up?
69
00:02:33,368 --> 00:02:35,501
Yeah. I was thinking
we could shoot you on the couch
70
00:02:35,569 --> 00:02:37,321
- with the logo in the background?
- Great.
71
00:02:37,394 --> 00:02:39,229
Photo shoot.
Heads-up would've been nice.
72
00:02:39,297 --> 00:02:41,305
Not loving what I'm wearing,
but let's do it.
73
00:02:41,373 --> 00:02:42,484
Let's make it happen.
74
00:02:43,274 --> 00:02:44,274
There you go.
75
00:02:44,342 --> 00:02:45,516
Uh, okay.
76
00:02:45,584 --> 00:02:47,518
I guess you can just stand
next to Vanessa.
77
00:02:47,586 --> 00:02:48,469
Yeah, right?
This will be good.
78
00:02:48,537 --> 00:02:50,019
Maybe I'll go, like, arms
folded or something.
79
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:53,321
Really pop the biceps out.
A little Superman style, huh?
80
00:02:53,732 --> 00:02:55,297
Yeah. Very cool.
81
00:02:55,368 --> 00:02:56,915
Hey, uh, Kristen,
call my name.
82
00:02:56,983 --> 00:02:58,218
Old photography trick.
Watch this.
83
00:02:58,285 --> 00:02:59,574
- Kristen, call my name.
- I'm sorry?
84
00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:00,783
You got to call my name...
When I...
85
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,431
When I'm back, like, this way,
you got to call my name.
86
00:03:02,498 --> 00:03:03,642
He's not gonna shut up
until you do it,
87
00:03:03,709 --> 00:03:05,207
- so you just might as well do it.
- Yeah.
88
00:03:05,274 --> 00:03:06,424
- Okay. Kevin?
- Yeah, what's up?
89
00:03:06,481 --> 00:03:07,692
Take it. Snap it.
90
00:03:07,749 --> 00:03:09,436
Snap that shot.
91
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,072
You got it? Shabang!
92
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,758
And... And, Kevin,
let's do one
93
00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,087
where you move back
just a little bit.
94
00:03:14,154 --> 00:03:16,453
Sure, absolutely.
Let's make it happen here.
95
00:03:16,586 --> 00:03:18,125
Just move back
one more step.
96
00:03:18,193 --> 00:03:19,194
Sure, no problem.
97
00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:20,328
Perfect.
98
00:03:20,396 --> 00:03:21,548
Hey, Kristen,
call my name again.
99
00:03:21,615 --> 00:03:23,383
- Do it again. Yeah.
- Kevin.
100
00:03:25,344 --> 00:03:26,930
♪♪
101
00:03:27,063 --> 00:03:28,235
Oh. Hey, babe.
102
00:03:28,303 --> 00:03:30,602
Can you remind me what
we're doing tomorrow night?
103
00:03:30,719 --> 00:03:32,930
Oh, that's right... "Dear
Evan Hansen" on Broadway.
104
00:03:32,998 --> 00:03:35,321
Rhetorical question.
Boom!
105
00:03:36,263 --> 00:03:37,999
Actually, I just read
a bad review,
106
00:03:38,088 --> 00:03:39,797
and I was thinking
we should skip it.
107
00:03:39,952 --> 00:03:42,821
- What?
- Joke from Chale! Boom!
108
00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,985
Actually, it's not a joke.
We do have to skip it.
109
00:03:47,118 --> 00:03:50,407
I, um you remember I said my
Aunt Tracy was coming to visit?
110
00:03:50,475 --> 00:03:51,883
Yeah, you said
that was next week.
111
00:03:51,951 --> 00:03:53,386
I might've got
the dates mixed up.
112
00:03:53,454 --> 00:03:55,566
So we have to miss
the hottest show on earth
113
00:03:55,672 --> 00:03:57,532
because you have
to babysit your aunt?
114
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,711
Yes, and...
How do I say this nicely?
115
00:04:01,197 --> 00:04:04,414
She's not quite right
in the head.
116
00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:07,836
So unless we can find someone
to look after her,
117
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,008
we're stuck.
118
00:04:09,094 --> 00:04:11,133
All right. Fixed the dryer.
Dove right in.
119
00:04:11,201 --> 00:04:12,867
I took
the whole thing apart.
120
00:04:13,157 --> 00:04:16,485
Turns out it was just unplugged,
so you live, you learn.
121
00:04:19,273 --> 00:04:20,752
Hey, Uncle Kyle,
122
00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:23,380
how would you like to go on
a date with an English lady?
123
00:04:23,602 --> 00:04:25,766
I'm in.
So, give me the lady deets.
124
00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:28,352
Well, she's my aunt, Tracy.
125
00:04:30,782 --> 00:04:32,723
Yeah, the whole "aunt" thing
doesn't work for me.
126
00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:34,891
I, uh, took
my buddy's aunt out once.
127
00:04:34,959 --> 00:04:36,193
They said she was fun,
128
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:39,055
which apparently meant
she had skin like a lizard.
129
00:04:39,344 --> 00:04:40,586
Okay, you know what,
Uncle Kyle?
130
00:04:40,654 --> 00:04:41,909
I didn't wanna have
to do this,
131
00:04:41,966 --> 00:04:43,511
but if you don't help us out,
I will never hem
132
00:04:43,578 --> 00:04:45,133
your fireman pants again.
133
00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:47,164
But I'm odd-shaped.
134
00:04:47,813 --> 00:04:49,820
With my wide hips
and my crazy inseam,
135
00:04:49,888 --> 00:04:51,089
I can't go
to a regular tailor.
136
00:04:51,157 --> 00:04:52,508
Well, that's not
my problem.
137
00:04:52,953 --> 00:04:54,076
Fine.
138
00:04:54,250 --> 00:04:55,345
When are we talking?
139
00:04:55,402 --> 00:04:57,635
- Tomorrow night.
- Ah, can't do it.
140
00:04:57,703 --> 00:04:59,018
- Oh, crap.
- Oh, sorry.
141
00:04:59,086 --> 00:05:00,307
I was looking at 2014.
142
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:01,477
I'm back in.
143
00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:04,732
♪♪
144
00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:07,430
Hey, Rootger.
145
00:05:08,117 --> 00:05:09,503
Okay, you caught me.
146
00:05:09,578 --> 00:05:11,336
I was trying
to read the magazine.
147
00:05:11,404 --> 00:05:12,750
Wh-Wh-What magazine?
148
00:05:12,818 --> 00:05:14,938
Okay,
you beat it out of me!
149
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,978
The article
they did on us.
150
00:05:18,221 --> 00:05:19,750
You're not going
to like it.
151
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:25,110
"Vanessa Cellucci, the gutsy,
street-smart former cop
152
00:05:25,227 --> 00:05:27,000
who runs Monkey Fist.
153
00:05:27,141 --> 00:05:28,689
She's charming,
she's sassy as"...
154
00:05:28,746 --> 00:05:30,480
Is this... Is this whole thing
about Vanessa?
155
00:05:30,547 --> 00:05:32,477
No, you're in there.
Halfway down.
156
00:05:32,883 --> 00:05:34,667
"Vanessa has
a motley crew of assistants.
157
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:35,828
There's Kevin Gable,
158
00:05:35,938 --> 00:05:38,555
the husky, hyperactive guy
who never stops talk..."
159
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,734
Husky?
What am I, 12?
160
00:05:40,977 --> 00:05:42,126
Hey, guys. What's up?
161
00:05:42,183 --> 00:05:43,235
Oh, nothing.
162
00:05:43,321 --> 00:05:44,565
Just playing
a little game
163
00:05:44,633 --> 00:05:47,174
called "Find Kevin in
the Magazine Article."
164
00:05:47,231 --> 00:05:49,266
I don't seem to be
in here at all.
165
00:05:49,344 --> 00:05:50,524
Hey, maybe I'm
in a picture.
166
00:05:50,664 --> 00:05:53,492
- Oh, yeah, there I am.
- Nope. That's the printer.
167
00:05:54,837 --> 00:05:57,540
Look, she wanted to do
an article about me.
168
00:05:57,675 --> 00:06:00,383
I didn't know
what to say, okay?
169
00:06:02,079 --> 00:06:05,260
Here's what you say...
We're partners, okay?
170
00:06:05,328 --> 00:06:06,860
I'm not
your "husky assistant."
171
00:06:06,917 --> 00:06:08,276
And by the way,
I've lost weight.
172
00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:09,501
I don't know
if you noticed at all,
173
00:06:09,568 --> 00:06:11,928
but I've been hitting the gym
like three, four times a week.
174
00:06:11,997 --> 00:06:13,618
Not this week,
'cause I tweaked my back,
175
00:06:13,691 --> 00:06:15,726
but next week, I'll probably
hit it four or five, maybe,
176
00:06:15,783 --> 00:06:17,852
depending on
how busy Thursday is.
177
00:06:18,261 --> 00:06:20,406
Did you even read
the article?
178
00:06:20,474 --> 00:06:21,534
I mean, look.
179
00:06:21,602 --> 00:06:23,143
"Forty under Forty:
180
00:06:23,274 --> 00:06:26,180
Up and Coming Business Owners
of Long Island."
181
00:06:26,367 --> 00:06:28,172
- "Forty under Forty"?
- Yes!
182
00:06:28,399 --> 00:06:31,084
40 entrepreneurs
that are under 40.
183
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:33,789
So obviously
I had to leave you out.
184
00:06:33,857 --> 00:06:35,883
But you're over 40.
185
00:06:35,951 --> 00:06:37,367
Right, yes.
186
00:06:37,581 --> 00:06:39,461
Okay.
By a couple of years.
187
00:06:39,539 --> 00:06:42,157
You're over 45
by a couple of years.
188
00:06:42,649 --> 00:06:45,258
By the way, people mistake me
for being under 40 all the time.
189
00:06:45,326 --> 00:06:46,354
Oh, really? Name one.
190
00:06:46,422 --> 00:06:47,759
Uh, how about Freddy
at the car wash?
191
00:06:47,826 --> 00:06:48,969
Just this morning, he was like,
"What are you"
192
00:06:49,036 --> 00:06:49,916
like 38 0r 39
193
00:06:49,984 --> 00:06:51,039
And I'm like,
"No, but thank you, Fred."
194
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:52,133
Mm.
195
00:06:52,430 --> 00:06:54,110
These eye crinkles
that you got going on?
196
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,190
Dead giveaway.
197
00:06:55,258 --> 00:06:56,276
- My eye crinkles?
- Yes.
198
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,040
By the way, what do you got
going on the side of your eyes?
199
00:06:58,107 --> 00:06:59,152
'Cause if you're done
using 'em,
200
00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:00,231
I'd like
to rake the leaves.
201
00:07:00,298 --> 00:07:01,897
That's what I like to do
with those.
202
00:07:02,990 --> 00:07:05,441
Okay,
before this turns ugly...
203
00:07:05,781 --> 00:07:07,522
Or just after...
204
00:07:08,312 --> 00:07:10,522
I am sorry that I went
behind your back,
205
00:07:10,590 --> 00:07:11,599
- 0kay?
- Okay. Yes.
206
00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:13,969
This article can really put
Monkey Fist on the map.
207
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:15,530
And I agree.
All right, look.
208
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:18,699
I'm sorry I said the comment
about your eye crinkles
209
00:07:18,756 --> 00:07:20,057
and... and
your turkey-neck thing.
210
00:07:20,114 --> 00:07:22,202
- Turkey neck? What? Turkeyneck?
- Turkeyneck.Turkeyneck.
211
00:07:22,259 --> 00:07:24,829
- I never said that out loud, did I?
- No, you did not.
212
00:07:26,319 --> 00:07:27,464
Point is, I'm sorry.
213
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:28,357
- That's what I'm basically saying.
- Okay.
214
00:07:28,425 --> 00:07:29,219
I'm sorry.
215
00:07:29,287 --> 00:07:32,128
- You should stop talking at this point.
- Okay. Yeah, good point. Okay.
216
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:37,553
Here is the Casey file.
217
00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:41,483
Anything else you need
from your husky assistant?
218
00:07:42,326 --> 00:07:44,571
Oh, come on.
I thought you let this go.
219
00:07:44,639 --> 00:07:45,696
Let what go?
220
00:07:45,764 --> 00:07:49,243
It was one article
in a local magazine.
221
00:07:49,311 --> 00:07:50,657
Nobody cares.
222
00:07:50,725 --> 00:07:52,030
Hey, where do you want me
to hang this up?
223
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,764
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
224
00:07:54,233 --> 00:07:55,783
- Okay, wait, wait, wait.
- It's nothing.
225
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,055
- What's that?
- It's nothing.
226
00:07:57,123 --> 00:07:59,235
Everybody in the article
got a plaque. It's...
227
00:07:59,303 --> 00:08:00,369
- Okay, can I see that, please?
- Yeah.
228
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,586
Thank you. Oh!
229
00:08:01,654 --> 00:08:03,435
Wait a minute.
"Vanessa Cellucci.
230
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,414
Founder and C.E.O.,
Monkey Fist Security.
231
00:08:06,482 --> 00:08:07,602
'Forty under Forty.'"
232
00:08:07,670 --> 00:08:09,336
I don't see my name on here.
233
00:08:09,404 --> 00:08:12,428
I guess that's all right,
'cause it's a plaque of lies!
234
00:08:13,084 --> 00:08:14,633
Come on.
You're just jealous now.
235
00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,248
Jea-Jealous?
Are you kidd...
236
00:08:16,316 --> 00:08:18,037
Let me set something
straight here.
237
00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:19,423
Do you have any idea
how many plaques
238
00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:21,032
I turn down
on a daily basis?
239
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,438
Uh, probably none?
240
00:08:22,506 --> 00:08:24,607
- Wha...
- No. No. No.
241
00:08:24,786 --> 00:08:26,201
A lot, right?
242
00:08:26,420 --> 00:08:27,725
- A lot. Yeah, yeah.
- Really?
243
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,251
But you know what I do?
I turn them down
244
00:08:29,318 --> 00:08:30,521
because I'm a team player.
245
00:08:30,589 --> 00:08:31,600
- Mm.
- That's... Yeah.
246
00:08:31,668 --> 00:08:33,805
But now that I know that
we're lone wolves in this thing,
247
00:08:33,872 --> 00:08:35,482
maybe I'll reconsider
my policy.
248
00:08:35,550 --> 00:08:37,256
- Okay.
- Change it up, right?
249
00:08:37,678 --> 00:08:39,146
- Fine with me.
- Start taking 'em.
250
00:08:39,214 --> 00:08:41,779
- Plaque it up, buddy.
- I... Oh, I will.
251
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:43,406
I will. I will.
252
00:08:43,474 --> 00:08:45,553
Good. I don't care.
I really don't.
253
00:08:45,621 --> 00:08:46,912
- All right.
- Who cares about this?
254
00:08:46,979 --> 00:08:49,053
- It's not even a caring-about thing.
- Okay.
255
00:08:49,553 --> 00:08:51,217
Hey, Rootger.
256
00:08:51,592 --> 00:08:54,826
When I say stuff like
"I get plaques offered daily,"
257
00:08:55,088 --> 00:08:57,639
gonna need you
to back me up, okay?
258
00:08:58,553 --> 00:09:00,255
Then we need
some sort of signal, guy.
259
00:09:00,323 --> 00:09:02,365
'Cause I never know
what's going on.
260
00:09:02,813 --> 00:09:05,685
♪♪
261
00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:08,475
So, Tracy, do you know
what you'd like to eat?
262
00:09:08,776 --> 00:09:11,584
Yeah.
How 'bout some tequila shots?
263
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,303
Get this party started.
264
00:09:15,083 --> 00:09:16,146
Wow.
265
00:09:16,214 --> 00:09:18,006
Chale told me you were
a bit of a wild child.
266
00:09:18,074 --> 00:09:20,965
Well, I'm on holiday.
Just wanna get a little crazy.
267
00:09:21,049 --> 00:09:23,146
I guess
I'm with the wrong guy.
268
00:09:23,654 --> 00:09:25,811
I can get a little cray cray.
269
00:09:26,279 --> 00:09:29,045
Yeah, just last week
at Karaoke, I sang a duet.
270
00:09:29,129 --> 00:09:30,896
By myself.
271
00:09:30,998 --> 00:09:32,248
Do you want to take a minute
272
00:09:32,316 --> 00:09:34,287
and think about
what you just said?
273
00:09:34,703 --> 00:09:36,623
- I do not.
- Oh, I get it.
274
00:09:36,691 --> 00:09:39,607
They stuck me with you
because you're a wet blanket.
275
00:09:39,675 --> 00:09:41,430
I am a firefighter.
276
00:09:41,565 --> 00:09:43,482
Sometimes the only thing
between life and death
277
00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,060
is a wet blanket.
278
00:09:45,857 --> 00:09:47,654
I know your type.
279
00:09:47,748 --> 00:09:49,006
Creature of habit,
280
00:09:49,074 --> 00:09:51,725
going day to day
without really living.
281
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:57,067
But deep inside,
there's a young, fearless...
282
00:09:57,578 --> 00:09:59,437
- What's your name again?
- Kyle.
283
00:09:59,505 --> 00:10:01,171
A young, fearless Kyle,
284
00:10:01,239 --> 00:10:03,841
wishing he'd taken
more risks in life.
285
00:10:04,601 --> 00:10:06,398
Wow, you're good.
286
00:10:06,538 --> 00:10:08,350
♪♪
287
00:10:08,418 --> 00:10:09,444
No, no, no.
288
00:10:09,512 --> 00:10:11,214
I, uh...
I understand, Father Philip.
289
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,334
You don't give out plaques
for attending Mass.
290
00:10:13,595 --> 00:10:14,917
Yep.
291
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:16,538
I-I respect that.
I do.
292
00:10:16,606 --> 00:10:17,633
It's just that...
You know what it is?
293
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,203
I've been really consistent
lately, and I... Yep.
294
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:20,834
No, I got it. Yeah.
295
00:10:21,511 --> 00:10:22,952
Yeah, it does go
against humility.
296
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:24,334
Yes.
297
00:10:24,473 --> 00:10:26,436
Okay, see you Sunday.
Bye.
298
00:10:26,746 --> 00:10:27,834
He said no.
299
00:10:28,764 --> 00:10:29,866
All right, you know what?
300
00:10:29,934 --> 00:10:33,014
I'm a Viking, and...
and Vikings don't give up.
301
00:10:33,082 --> 00:10:34,811
Right? They throw on
their furry boots,
302
00:10:34,879 --> 00:10:36,788
they strap on
their helmet with the horns
303
00:10:36,856 --> 00:10:38,258
and the... the metal piece
that comes out
304
00:10:38,325 --> 00:10:40,970
and blocks the nose
right there, and they fight.
305
00:10:41,106 --> 00:10:42,850
I'm getting myself
a plaque.
306
00:10:42,918 --> 00:10:44,730
I'll go with you.
I love it.
307
00:10:44,805 --> 00:10:47,467
Uh... I have to forward the
calls to my cellphone, though.
308
00:10:47,535 --> 00:10:48,827
What was it again?
What it star
309
00:10:48,895 --> 00:10:51,941
- Uh, star-seven... uh,
- I'll see you in the car.
310
00:10:53,693 --> 00:10:54,885
I'm sorry.
311
00:10:54,953 --> 00:10:56,499
Uh, the lady up there
312
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:59,756
said that this is the
Long Island Viking Society?
313
00:10:59,824 --> 00:11:01,235
Yeah, yeah.
We used to have an office,
314
00:11:01,302 --> 00:11:02,514
but it's super expensive,
315
00:11:02,582 --> 00:11:05,725
so my mom was cool enough
to let us do it down here.
316
00:11:06,861 --> 00:11:09,063
Uh, well, I'm Kevin.
This is Rootger.
317
00:11:09,131 --> 00:11:11,522
Hey.
I'm Ragnar the Wise.
318
00:11:11,590 --> 00:11:12,866
That's Jim the Red.
319
00:11:12,934 --> 00:11:16,170
We got Medieval Mike,
and that there is Kimmy.
320
00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:19,231
Hey, everybody.
321
00:11:19,299 --> 00:11:20,410
Viking power.
322
00:11:20,478 --> 00:11:21,845
I don't know.
Should I do, like, a sign?
323
00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:22,937
Do you guys do, like,
something like that, or...
324
00:11:23,004 --> 00:11:24,101
- Oh, like a "V." Yeah!
- Yeah.
325
00:11:24,168 --> 00:11:25,841
- We should do that.
- Yeah.
326
00:11:26,393 --> 00:11:27,647
- Yeah.
- Wow.
327
00:11:27,715 --> 00:11:28,992
Look at
that Nordic dome.
328
00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:30,829
That's a Viking
if ever I've seen one.
329
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,342
Actually, I'm Dutch.
330
00:11:32,410 --> 00:11:33,534
He's the Viking.
331
00:11:34,253 --> 00:11:36,323
- Oh. Okay.
- Yeah.
332
00:11:36,990 --> 00:11:39,862
Well, uh,
I hate to be that guy,
333
00:11:39,930 --> 00:11:41,434
but I'm... gonna need
to see some proof.
334
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,019
Oh! Yeah, no.
Way ahead of you.
335
00:11:43,087 --> 00:11:45,367
Uh, here you go.
Right there.
336
00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:48,167
Wow. 16%?
337
00:11:48,388 --> 00:11:50,233
- I'm only 14%.
- Oh, no, no, no.
338
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:52,073
That's actually
my daughter's test.
339
00:11:52,141 --> 00:11:53,448
I'm... I'm 32%, so...
340
00:11:53,565 --> 00:11:55,644
Shut. Up.
341
00:11:56,781 --> 00:11:59,144
So, anyway, what do you guys
do at these meetings?
342
00:11:59,312 --> 00:12:00,722
You're looking at it.
343
00:12:01,627 --> 00:12:04,085
Don't you do, like,
Viking stuff,
344
00:12:04,153 --> 00:12:06,230
like, uh... I don't know...
Give out awards
345
00:12:06,316 --> 00:12:07,363
or... or plaques
or anything?
346
00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:09,209
Sometimes we go to Chili's.
347
00:12:10,026 --> 00:12:11,328
Let me ask you this.
348
00:12:11,396 --> 00:12:13,199
You ever think about
giving out awards or plaques
349
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:15,503
- or anything like that?
- No, not really.
350
00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:18,331
Okay, you know, I'm just gonna
stop beating around the bush,
351
00:12:18,451 --> 00:12:20,463
and I think you guys
should give me a plaque.
352
00:12:20,531 --> 00:12:22,952
- What for?
- Well, I don't know.
353
00:12:23,084 --> 00:12:25,081
I mean, I came up with this
pretty much, right?
354
00:12:25,149 --> 00:12:26,972
And then, um, I'm 32%.
355
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,784
I'm kind of your leader,
in a way.
356
00:12:28,852 --> 00:12:31,261
- Uh...
- Good stuff. Good stuff.
357
00:12:31,499 --> 00:12:32,584
Right?
358
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,421
Well, uh, we don't have
any plaques,
359
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:37,680
but I might have a scroll of
valor laying around somewhere.
360
00:12:37,857 --> 00:12:39,482
S-Scroll of Valor?
361
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,651
Mm-hmm.
362
00:12:40,719 --> 00:12:42,163
Get it.
363
00:12:42,399 --> 00:12:44,318
♪♪
364
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:46,886
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
365
00:12:46,954 --> 00:12:48,605
What's going on?
366
00:12:48,844 --> 00:12:50,370
Mm, nothing.
367
00:12:50,465 --> 00:12:52,066
Just hanging around.
368
00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:53,859
Hm, Right?
369
00:12:53,956 --> 00:12:55,100
Okay.
370
00:12:55,168 --> 00:12:56,753
Obviously you two morons
371
00:12:56,821 --> 00:12:59,433
want to talk about that stupid
thing hanging on the wall.
372
00:12:59,501 --> 00:13:01,274
- What is it?
- Oh, this?
373
00:13:01,540 --> 00:13:04,631
Nothing. Just, uh,
my Scandinavian brethren
374
00:13:04,671 --> 00:13:06,524
just bestowed upon me
375
00:13:06,592 --> 00:13:08,794
the highest honor
for personal achievement,
376
00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:10,212
but whatevs.
377
00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:14,423
Okay, why do you have to make
everything a competition?
378
00:13:14,491 --> 00:13:15,493
- Me?!
- Yeah.
379
00:13:15,561 --> 00:13:17,009
You're the one
who started this, all right?
380
00:13:17,076 --> 00:13:18,921
By doing that article
behind my back.
381
00:13:18,989 --> 00:13:22,686
Okay. Again, I should've
told you about it.
382
00:13:22,754 --> 00:13:23,884
I am sorry.
383
00:13:23,952 --> 00:13:26,621
From now on, we do
everything together as a team.
384
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,063
- Okay, yeah.
- All right.
385
00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:29,548
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
386
00:13:29,716 --> 00:13:32,306
Right after the ceremony,
we start fresh.
387
00:13:33,638 --> 00:13:35,189
- Ceremony?
- Yeah.
388
00:13:35,257 --> 00:13:36,939
There's a "Forty under Forty"
awards dinner,
389
00:13:37,006 --> 00:13:37,940
and they asked me
to make a speech
390
00:13:38,008 --> 00:13:39,494
after one of the honorees
was disqualified
391
00:13:39,561 --> 00:13:42,641
'cause she wasn't really under
40, so it's just... just...
392
00:13:44,819 --> 00:13:46,212
You're not really
under 40.
393
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,435
Okay.
394
00:13:47,539 --> 00:13:48,806
Totally different.
395
00:13:48,874 --> 00:13:51,677
The girl was stupid enough to
post her birthday on Facebook.
396
00:13:51,745 --> 00:13:54,587
Grandma deserved
what she got.
397
00:13:55,072 --> 00:13:56,239
So, you're just gonna
get up there
398
00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:57,619
and take the credit
for everything, right?
399
00:13:57,686 --> 00:13:59,346
And you don't care
that I have something to say.
400
00:13:59,413 --> 00:14:00,991
- 'Cause I have a lot of stories to tell.
- Do you?
401
00:14:01,058 --> 00:14:02,511
- Heroic ones about me.
- Yeah. I...
402
00:14:02,579 --> 00:14:04,845
- "Heroic" stuff?
- Oh, yeah. Very heroic.
403
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:05,930
Okay. Like?
404
00:14:05,998 --> 00:14:08,477
Okay, how 'bout the time we
were locked in a meat locker?
405
00:14:08,545 --> 00:14:09,329
- You remember that?
- Uh.
406
00:14:09,405 --> 00:14:12,118
And... Yeah, and I got us out
with a broom handle
407
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:13,626
and... and...
and a stick of gum.
408
00:14:13,694 --> 00:14:15,759
Okay.
You used the broom handle
409
00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:18,899
to break the glass
while you were chewing gum.
410
00:14:19,065 --> 00:14:21,048
Got us out, didn't I?
411
00:14:21,729 --> 00:14:23,540
I'm doing this
for the team, okay?
412
00:14:23,608 --> 00:14:25,985
There's... There's gonna be
300 people there.
413
00:14:26,053 --> 00:14:27,073
We all win.
414
00:14:27,141 --> 00:14:29,212
Please,
stop being a baby now.
415
00:14:29,431 --> 00:14:31,451
- 300, huh?
- Yes.
416
00:14:32,109 --> 00:14:33,532
Yeah, that's a...
417
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:38,368
That's a lot of eyeballs
looking down on someone who's...
418
00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:40,782
not really under 40.
419
00:14:41,719 --> 00:14:43,270
A lot of hot lights
and everything.
420
00:14:43,338 --> 00:14:45,908
I'm just saying,
that's a lotta lotta.
421
00:14:47,298 --> 00:14:48,442
You know?
422
00:14:48,545 --> 00:14:50,243
Okay. I know
what you're trying to do.
423
00:14:50,319 --> 00:14:52,279
- I'm not trying to do anything.
- Not gonna work.
424
00:14:52,735 --> 00:14:54,128
You know what?
I'm serious.
425
00:14:54,201 --> 00:14:55,368
I'm... I'm sure you're
gonna be fine. I just...
426
00:14:55,435 --> 00:14:56,485
- I'm gonna be great.
- Okay.
427
00:14:56,552 --> 00:14:57,621
Thanks so much.
Yeah, all right.
428
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,501
Not worried about it, bud.
429
00:15:04,407 --> 00:15:05,585
♪♪
430
00:15:07,658 --> 00:15:08,869
Oh. Whoa!
431
00:15:08,926 --> 00:15:10,928
Ooh.
Yeah, how's it look?
432
00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:14,790
Am I, uh, a little too, uh,
male model
433
00:15:15,008 --> 00:15:16,136
Hmm...
434
00:15:16,204 --> 00:15:17,903
No, I don't think
that's gonna be an issue.
435
00:15:17,971 --> 00:15:19,058
- But you look good.
- Yeah.
436
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:20,980
Oh! And you're finally
wearing the shirt
437
00:15:21,048 --> 00:15:22,285
that I got you
for Father's Day!
438
00:15:22,352 --> 00:15:23,363
Yeah, don't read into it.
439
00:15:23,431 --> 00:15:26,079
The only shirt in my closet
with buttons.
440
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,769
- Where are you going?
- Ah.
441
00:15:27,837 --> 00:15:29,378
Vanessa's winning
a stupid award,
442
00:15:29,446 --> 00:15:31,050
so I gotta go
to some stupid hotel
443
00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:33,931
and listen to her give
some stupid speech.
444
00:15:34,790 --> 00:15:37,320
A better friend
there never was.
445
00:15:37,548 --> 00:15:39,003
What's the award?
446
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:41,540
Ah, Long Island
business owners under 40.
447
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:42,792
Under 40 what?
448
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,501
Exactly.
449
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:45,843
♪♪
450
00:15:45,954 --> 00:15:47,373
Where is Vanessa?
451
00:15:47,430 --> 00:15:49,332
She was supposed to be here
a half-hour ago.
452
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:52,399
I have to say, coming here
to support Vanessa like this?
453
00:15:52,621 --> 00:15:55,777
- Classy stuff.
- It's something new I'm working on.
454
00:15:55,906 --> 00:15:58,071
You know... putting
the needs of others before me.
455
00:15:58,139 --> 00:15:59,485
- Nice.
- Did you get four shrimp?
456
00:15:59,553 --> 00:16:01,360
'Cause I only got three.
457
00:16:01,945 --> 00:16:03,048
I don't know.
458
00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:05,196
But don't you?
I mean, I think you'd...
459
00:16:05,657 --> 00:16:07,337
You'd know how many shrimp
you had, right?
460
00:16:07,462 --> 00:16:09,212
- Oh.
- I think Vanessa's up next.
461
00:16:09,419 --> 00:16:11,889
Ladies and gentlemen,
from Monkey Fist Security,
462
00:16:11,946 --> 00:16:13,571
Vanessa Cellucci.
463
00:16:14,925 --> 00:16:16,860
I didn't even get
a chance to talk to her.
464
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:19,229
I wanted to say I'm sorry
for what I did.
465
00:16:19,286 --> 00:16:20,620
I'll just do it tomorrow.
466
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:22,831
We'll talk
face-to-fa-a-ce.
467
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:27,537
"Forty under Forty!"
468
00:16:28,839 --> 00:16:30,340
We made it!
469
00:16:32,342 --> 00:16:34,558
Whoo!
470
00:16:34,802 --> 00:16:37,824
♪♪
471
00:16:38,019 --> 00:16:40,240
Guys, you gotta save me.
472
00:16:40,308 --> 00:16:42,370
That chick
is more than a handful.
473
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,964
I'm talking about three
straight days of crazy here.
474
00:16:45,066 --> 00:16:47,800
She made me drive through
the Holland Tunnel blindfolded.
475
00:16:47,902 --> 00:16:49,135
They have cameras.
476
00:16:49,192 --> 00:16:51,672
Any idea what
that ticket's gonna be like?
477
00:16:51,729 --> 00:16:53,123
I told you
this would happen.
478
00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:54,737
She does this to men.
479
00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:56,441
Yeah, yeah. I-I can't
hang out with her anymore.
480
00:16:56,508 --> 00:16:59,386
I have a job, a pension,
model train set.
481
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:00,938
I just ordered
new mountains.
482
00:17:00,995 --> 00:17:03,581
I wanna be alive
when they arrive.
483
00:17:05,654 --> 00:17:07,556
Oh, that's her!
484
00:17:11,556 --> 00:17:13,634
- Hi.
- Hi, guys.
485
00:17:13,702 --> 00:17:15,165
Oh, Aunt Tracy.
How are you?
486
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,292
Where's Kyle?
487
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,864
He's... Oh, not here.
488
00:17:17,921 --> 00:17:20,149
His Subaru
is parked out front.
489
00:17:20,696 --> 00:17:22,089
Okay, look, Aunt Tracy.
490
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:24,597
The truth is,
Uncle Kyle really likes you,
491
00:17:24,665 --> 00:17:25,863
and he thinks
you're a lot of fun.
492
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,732
I just think you might be
a little too much for him.
493
00:17:28,789 --> 00:17:30,576
Oh.
That's too bad.
494
00:17:30,704 --> 00:17:33,899
He was such a sport,
doing all the things I wanted.
495
00:17:33,993 --> 00:17:37,074
I thought I'd surprise him
with two V.I.P. tickets
496
00:17:37,142 --> 00:17:39,743
to the model train show
at the Javits Center.
497
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:40,811
Oh, well.
498
00:17:40,868 --> 00:17:42,288
I'm back in.
499
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:43,690
Forget what I said.
500
00:17:43,747 --> 00:17:45,813
Those tickets
are impossible to get.
501
00:17:46,016 --> 00:17:47,941
We're going to make
a quick pit stop.
502
00:17:48,009 --> 00:17:49,152
Great. Where?
503
00:17:49,209 --> 00:17:51,212
Atlantic City.
504
00:17:52,256 --> 00:17:54,668
♪♪
505
00:17:54,858 --> 00:17:58,517
You may be wondering
how I got here.
506
00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:00,113
Do you think
there's any way
507
00:18:00,181 --> 00:18:01,637
they can turn down
the lights a little?
508
00:18:01,704 --> 00:18:03,000
Just focus on her ear.
509
00:18:03,057 --> 00:18:05,571
It's the only part
that still seems human.
510
00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:08,605
Uh, luck and persever...
511
00:18:09,142 --> 00:18:10,954
Pers... persev...
512
00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,757
persever... perseverance.
513
00:18:16,745 --> 00:18:18,780
One second.
514
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:21,852
Mm!
515
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,034
All right, I can't.
I can't do this.
516
00:18:28,091 --> 00:18:29,592
I have to be honest
with all of you.
517
00:18:29,649 --> 00:18:32,813
What... What Vanessa's
not being honest about
518
00:18:32,993 --> 00:18:35,876
is the fact that she went
undercover this afternoon
519
00:18:35,933 --> 00:18:37,200
at the Long Beach Aquarium,
520
00:18:37,257 --> 00:18:42,642
and a jellyfish just
attached itself to her face.
521
00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:46,043
And I'm guessing laid quite
a bit of eggs. Okay.
522
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,399
Uh, but...
523
00:18:47,946 --> 00:18:50,290
but she still wanted
to power through
524
00:18:50,431 --> 00:18:53,337
and be here for you tonight,
and she did.
525
00:18:53,431 --> 00:18:54,351
And I got to say,
that's a...
526
00:18:54,408 --> 00:18:56,719
That's a true mark
of bravery right there.
527
00:18:56,776 --> 00:18:58,889
Let's hear it
for Vanessa Cellucci.
528
00:18:58,946 --> 00:19:00,891
Vanessa Cellucci, huh?
529
00:19:00,948 --> 00:19:02,165
Yeah.
530
00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:06,739
Yeah.
531
00:19:06,796 --> 00:19:08,408
You know,
speaking of bravery...
532
00:19:08,465 --> 00:19:09,532
No, no, no.
Yeah, don't...
533
00:19:09,589 --> 00:19:11,211
No, no.
534
00:19:11,268 --> 00:19:13,279
Let me tell you about
a story of one man's quest
535
00:19:13,336 --> 00:19:14,771
to get himself out
of a meat locker
536
00:19:14,828 --> 00:19:16,812
with nothing
but a piece of gum
537
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,691
and a broomstick handle.
538
00:19:18,832 --> 00:19:20,510
♪♪
539
00:19:24,347 --> 00:19:28,051
♪♪
540
00:19:29,797 --> 00:19:31,976
Hey. Pretty nice night
after all, huh?
541
00:19:32,044 --> 00:19:33,399
Oh, okay.
542
00:19:33,467 --> 00:19:34,911
Your... story...
543
00:19:34,979 --> 00:19:36,258
Your st... Okay.
544
00:19:36,326 --> 00:19:37,883
- Your story...
- I'm... Ye... Oh.
545
00:19:37,958 --> 00:19:39,826
- Your... You don't get...
- I'm I'm not getting any of it.
546
00:19:39,893 --> 00:19:40,932
You're not? Okay.
Yeah.
547
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,000
- Okay. Oh. Oh.
- Mm.
548
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:46,519
Your story went on
and on. And on. And on.
549
00:19:46,612 --> 00:19:47,566
Oh, really?
550
00:19:47,634 --> 00:19:49,103
Well, it seemed like
the whole crowd enjoyed it.
551
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:51,445
Oh, please.
So boring.
552
00:19:51,545 --> 00:19:53,700
Z-Z-Z-Z-Z.
553
00:19:53,937 --> 00:19:55,382
All right.
554
00:19:55,608 --> 00:19:57,171
I don't need
any of this crap.
555
00:19:57,239 --> 00:19:58,468
I'll just go
in the other room.
556
00:19:58,536 --> 00:19:59,580
- Fine.
- Fine.
557
00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:00,759
- Fine.
- Fine!
558
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:01,827
Fine.
559
00:20:07,202 --> 00:20:08,604
Kevin.
560
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,480
Kevin.
561
00:20:13,548 --> 00:20:14,835
Kevin. Kevin.
562
00:20:14,903 --> 00:20:16,116
Kevin. Kevin.
563
00:20:16,184 --> 00:20:18,421
- Kevin. Kevin. Kevin.
- What?!
564
00:20:18,862 --> 00:20:20,140
Thank you.
565
00:20:22,412 --> 00:20:23,717
Look.
566
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,671
You don't have to thank me,
all right?
567
00:20:25,739 --> 00:20:28,069
And by the way,
I got to tell you,
568
00:20:28,137 --> 00:20:29,772
you don't need
any of this stuff.
569
00:20:29,965 --> 00:20:31,421
You look fine without it.
570
00:20:31,489 --> 00:20:33,844
- Really?
- Yes, really.
571
00:20:34,437 --> 00:20:37,955
I'm trying so hard to smile,
but I don't think I can.
572
00:20:38,022 --> 00:20:39,907
Synchronized by srjanapala
573
00:20:39,975 --> 00:20:41,726
Oh, let's just get
back to work, then.
41303
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