All language subtitles for Glee - 1x02 - Showmance.HDTV.FQM.en

Mr. Schuester.

Yea!

I went to the library and I got some
sheet music,

and I wanted to run
some songs by you

that feature me heavily
on lead vocal.
Thanks, Rach.

But I already got one
picked out.

Let me help you
with that.

Thanks, Finn.

That's a good
thing, right?
Morning, guys.

Hey, Mr. Shue.
We're just learning some runs.

Oh, yeah?
So it goes,

* Oh. *

* Oh. *
* Oh. *

With the finger,
huh?
Pretty fly for a white guy.

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Hey, don't be late for rehearsal
this afternoon.

All right.

Morning, Kurt.

Buenos nachos, Mr. Shue.

Hey!

Let's go, Titans!
Yeah.

Come on.
Wait!

One day you will all
work for me.

(strumming steady rhythm)

It was very,
very nice.

All right?

(gasping):
Oh, Will, oh.
Oh!

Gosh. Hi.
Hey, Emma.

Hi.
Hey.

Uh, I wanted to thank you
so much

for the advice you gave me
the other day.

I mean, teaching here
and coaching Glee Club--

it's where I belong.
Oh, well, it's
no problem.

I mean, it's what I do.
You know, I give counsel

and give guidance.
I'm a guidance counselor.

Yeah, you are.

So-- oh, look, we match,
periwinkle.

Yeah.
Get a room.

Mrs. Sylvester wants to see you
in her office, Mr. Shue.

She doesn't like
to be kept waiting.

You got it.

(school bell ringing)

Hey, Sue, you want to see me?

Hey, buddy. Come on in.

(sighs)

I just blasted my hammies.

Oh.

Iron tablet?

Uh...

Keeps your strength up while
you're menstruating.

I don't menstruate.

Yeah?

Neither do I.

So I had a little chat

with Principal Figgins, and he
said that if you're group

doesn't place at Regionals,
he's cutting the program.

(clicks tongue)
Ouch.

You know, you don't have to
worry about Glee Club.

We're going to be fine.

Really?

'Cause I was at the
local library,

where I read Cheerleading
Today aloud

to blind geriatrics,

and I came across this
little page-turner.

Show Choir Rule Book.

And it turns out,

you need 12 kids to qualify
for Regionals.

Last time I looked,

you only had
five-and-a-half.

Here. Cripple in
the wheelchair.

I also took the liberty
of highlighting some
special ed classes

for you-- maybe you could
find some recruits--

because I'm not sure
there's anybody else

who's going to want to swim over

to your Island of Misfit Toys.

Are you threatening me,

Sue?
Threatening you?

Oh, no, no, no.

Presenting you
with an opportunity

to compromise yourself?

You betcha.

Let's break it down.

You want to be creative.

You want to be in the spotlight.

Face it, you want to be me.

So, here's the deal:

you do with your depressing
little group of kids

what I did with my wealthy,
elderly mother:

euthanize it.

It's time.

And then I'll be happy
to offer you a job

as my second assistant
on Cheerios.

You can fetch
me Gatorade

and launder my soiled delicates;

it'll be very rewarding

work for you.

You know what, Sue?

I politely decline
your offer.

Glee Club is here
to stay.

I believe in my kids.

I know you're used to being the
cock of the walk around here...

Offensive.

...but it looks
like your Cheerios

are going to have
some competition.

We're going to show
at Regionals.

You have my word on that.

Have a good day.

(school bell ringing)

QUINN:
We are in line to be the most
popular kids in this school

over the next couple
of years.
Yeah, I know.

Prom king and queen,
homecoming court royalty,

I'm not giving up
those shiny crowns

just so you can
"express yourself."

FINN:
Look, you're making too big
a deal out of this.

Okay, let's compromise.

If you quit the club,

I'll let you touch my breast.

FINN:
Under the shirt?

Over the bra.

No, no.

I can't.

I want to do Glee.
I--

I'm really happy
when I'm performing.

People think
you're gay now, Finn.

And you know
what that makes me?

Your big gay beard.

Look, I-I-I got to go
to class, okay?

Just relax.

Everything's going
to work out.

Eavesdrop much?

Time for some girl talk,
man hands.

You can dance with him,
you can sing with him,

but you will never
have him.

I understand why you'd
be threatened.

Finn and I have made
a connection,

but I'm an honorable
person.

I don't need to
steal your man.

I have plenty of suitors
of my own.

Every day Glee's status
is going up

and yours is going down...

deal with it.

(others laughing)

Holla.

* Ah, freak out *

* Le freak, c'est chic *

Energy, guys.
* Freak out *

It's disco.

* Le freak, c'est chic *

* Ah, freak out *

Good with the hands.
John Travolta hands. All right.

* Le freak, c'est chic *

Freak it out.
Let's go.
* Freak out *

* Le freak, c'est chic *

And up and out

and down and--
good.
* Have you heard *

* About the new dance craze? *
Good, good, guys.

* Listen to us *

* I'm sure you'll be amazed *

* Big fun... *
Whoa! Whoa!

Hell to the nah.

First of all, you try to
bust my face again,

and I will cut you.

And also, this song is terrible.

Okay, no, no, it's not the song.

You guys just need
to get into it.

No, it's the song.

It's really gay.
We need

modern music, Mr. Shue.

I'm sorry, guys.

We don't have time
to discuss this.

We're doing the song this Friday
at the pep assembly.

In f-front of the whole school?

Exactly!

They're gonna throw
fruit at us.

And I just had a facial.

I'll press charges
if that happens.

Guys, I can't express to you

how important this assembly is.

We need recruits.

There're six of you.

We need 12 to qualify
for Regionals.

We have no choice or...

the club is over.

I know you guys don't like
this song,

but we took Nationals back
in '93 with "Freak Out."

It's a crowd-pleaser.

Trust me.

From the top.

I'm dead.

Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX

WILL:
My father always said
you become a man

when you buy your first house.

I'm not sure what
he meant by that,

since he burned ours down once
after a drunken fight with Mom.

Welcome to your little slice
of the American dream.

I have a question
about the trees.

It's always been
my personal dream

to cut down my own
Christmas tree.

How many Christmas trees
will we have in the backyard?

And do they come
in different colors?

Because, well-- obviously,
we're expecting a family,

and I have a real sense
that it might be a girl.

WILL:
Still, I can't believe
we're actually doing this.

It all happened so fast...

(kids screaming)

It all started when Terri's
sister Kendra

brought her kids over
for Sunday brunch.

Well, I just
don't understand

where you're planning on
putting the nursery.

I know.

We have a second bedroom.

You are not giving up
your craft room, Terri.

A mother needs
her respite.

That craft room
is the only thing

that's going to keep you
from going all Susan Smith

on that little angel.

Postpartum runs
in our family.

Where are you going?

Bathroom.

All that bran.

No, you can't.

Kyle needs his
inhaler.

(screaming continues)

(screams)

Anyway, this conversation
is over.

They're starting
construction

on a new section
of our subdivision.

You are not

bringing my niece or nephew
home to this apartment.

When pigs fly.

(laughing)

Can I eat this?

This banister was made
by Ecuadorian children.

(gasps)
It's great, Terri,

but there are nine
foreclosures on
our street.

Why can't we buy
one of those?

They're half
the price.
I am not raising our baby

in a used house.
They're not clean.

Oh.

Look at this sun nook.

Isn't it beautiful?

Is i iextra?
Mm.

The price in the brochure is
for the basic model--

everything else
is ?la carte.

The grand foyer is
an extra $14,000,

and the sun nook is
an extra 24.

I'll let
you two talk.

Thank you.
Thank you.

(sighs)

We can't afford this.

We already did
the math, Will.

All we have to do is
give up Applebee's,

and we won't run the
AC for the first
couple of summers.

Well, we certainly can't afford
the grand foyer,

and the sun nook.

I mean, if we bite off more
than we can chew

we'll lose everything.

You need to pick one.

Come with me.

I'm going to show you
something really special.

This is where our daughter
or gay son will sleep.

I thought maybe
we could put one

of those mini-pianos
in here,

and you two could
put on shows for me.

I love it, Terri.

But we still can't
afford everything.

(sighs)

It's my very own
Sophie's Choice.

Fine.

I'm going to give up the sun
nook for the grand foyer.

But I really need
the polished door handles.

Think of our family,
Will.

This is our dream.

WILL:
I knew in that moment that
I would do whatever it took,

even if it meant getting
a part-time job

to make some extra money,

to make that dream come true.

Let's go sign
those papers.

Yes!

You need to call me
before you dress yourself.
Whatever, whatever.

You look like a
Technicolor zebra.
You're a hater.

And I look like
I'm a partier.
That's what
you are, a hater.

You're trying
to copy me.
It looks like
I planned it.

You know what?
If you're hair was longer

you'd have curls.
WILL:
All right, guys.

How about a little Kanye?

(all cheering)

For the assembly?

No, we won't be
ready in time.

We're still
doing disco.

But we can fold this
into our repertoire,

and it'll be awesome
at Regionals.

Communication is the foundation

of any successful music group.

If we're going to succeed
we need to communicate.

You guys said you wanted
modern music, I listened.

Mr. Shue, we'd really like to
not do disco at that assembly.

Finn, you're going
to take the solo.

What? No, I-I can't do
the solo, Mr. Shue.

I'm still learning...

learning how to walk and
sing at the same time.

No problem.

I'll walk you through it.

ALL:
Ooh.

Challenge.

Mercedes, you know this?

Oh, I got this.

* She take my money *

* When I'm in need *

* Yeah, she's a trifflin' *

* Friend, indeed *

* Oh, she's a gold digger *

* Way over town *

* That digs on me *

(bass pumping)

* She give me money *
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *

* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin'
with no broke, broke *

* She give me money *
* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *

* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin'
with no broke *

* Broke *
* I gotta leave *

* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *

* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *

* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl *

* Go 'head, get down *
* I gotta leave *

* Get down, girl, go 'head *
* She give me money *

* Cutie da bomb
met her at a beauty salon *

* When I'm in need *
* With a baby Louis Vuitton *

* Under her underarm,
she said I can tell you rock *

* She give me money *
* I can tell by your charm *

* When I'm in need *
* Far as girls you got a flock *

* I can tell by your charm
and your arm *

* I gotta leave *
* But I'm lookin' for the one *

* Have you seen her? *
* I gotta leave *

* No, we ain't seen her! *

* She give my money *

* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *

* When I'm in need *
* But she ain't messin' *

* With no broke, broke, uh *
* She give me money *

* Now I ain't sayin'
she a gold digger *

* When I'm in need *

* But she ain't messin'
with no broke, broke, uh *

* I gotta leave *

* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *

* I gotta leave *
* Get down, oh, oh *

* Get down, girl,
go 'head, get down *

* I gotta leave *
* Get down, girl *

* Go 'head, get down *
* I gotta leave *

* Get down, girl, go 'head *

* She give me money *
* 18 years, 18 years *

* When I'm in need *
* She got one of yo' kids *

* Got you for 18 years *
* She give me money *

* I know somebody paying child
support for one of his kids *

* When I'm in need *

* His baby mama car crib
is bigger than his *

* You will see him on TV *

* Any given Sunday *

* I gotta leave *

* Win the Super Bowl *

* And drive off in a Hyundai *

* She was supposed to buy
ya shorty Tyco with ya money *

* I gotta leave *
* She went to the doctor *

* Got lipo with ya money *
* She give me money *

* She walkin' around lookin'
like Michael with ya money *

* When I'm in need *
* Shoulda' got that insured *

* Geico for ya money *
* She give me money *

* If you ain't no crook *

* When I'm in need *
* Holla' we want pre-nup *

* We want pre-nup! Yeah! *

(laughter)

That was fun.

All right,
just like that. Ready?

(toilet flushing)

(coughing and retching)

(coughing)

Rachel, did you
just throw up?

No.

You missed
the toilet.

The girl who was throwing up
before me left that.

I tried, but I guess
I just don't have a gag reflex.

One day when
you're older,

that'll turn
out to be a gift.

Let's have a
little chat, okay?

(school bell ringing)

(clears throat)
Rachel, bulimia is a very

messy, serious disease.

I don't have bulimia.

I tried it and failed,
and won't ever attempt it again.

Okay.

It grossed me out.

Okay, but I still want to talk

about the feelings that you had

that led up to you wanting
to puke your guts out.

I want to be thinner.

And prettier
like that Quinn girl.

Mm-hmm, and, um, why is that?

Have you ever liked somebody
so much,

you just want to lock yourself
in your room,

turn on sad music and cry?

No.

(to song on radio):
* All by my... *

(crying)

By myself.

I'm by myself.

* Don't want to be... *

Uh, but a boy crush, huh?

I know about that.
I mean, not now.

It takes me back in the day.

Like, a long time ago
I knew about that.

You know what? You need
to remember, Rachel,

to protect your heart.

I don't care who he is.

If he doesn't like you
for the way you are,

or if he's...
you know, he's married

with a baby on the way,

that's not worth
the heartache.

You don't want to compromise...
yourself... for that.

Um... (clears throat)

Have you just tried

telling him how you feel?

He doesn't even notice me.

I see.

Um, okay, well,
here's what I think.

Common interests
are the key to romance.

All ght? So find out
what he likes.

Then he'll see you
in a positive way, and

maybe you'll end up
doing something

SUE:
Would you like

to tell Principal Figgins
and Mr. Schuester

what I caught you two doing?

It just sort of happened.

I don't mean
to be rude,

but I think she's
overreacting.

You watch your tone, young lady.

Gay parents
encourage rebellion.

There are
studies on this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

All right, tell me
what happened, Rachel.

Finn was worried about
having to perform a solo

at the pep assembly in front
of his chromosomally-challenged

friends.

I was immediately concerned

by his lack of self-esteem

and made a creative
preemptive strike.

Yeah, pretty much
what she said.

You know, one of
the amazing things

about being in the
performing arts is that

you can parlay it into
so many different fields.

Like Justin Timberlake.

He's a singer, but he
also has a clothing line.

And you know, he makes
things like shirts and belts.

Who is Justin Timberlake?

RACHEL:
It was a two-fold plan.

We figured that with the right
marketing strategy,

we could pull
from the entire student body

without having an assembly,

thus creating
the diverse Glee Club

this school has been craving.

That copy machine is
for Cheerios use only.

Paid for
by alumni donations.

I can't begin to
fathom the damage

you'd have done to the
program had you broken it.

Hold on a second, Sue.

I resent being told

to hold on to anything, William.

I will not be treated

like a second-class citizen
because of my gender.

There is a very clear
bureaucracy

when it comes to photocopies,
and you seem to think

that these procedures
don't apply to your students.

It is my strong
recommendation

that both these
students be hobbled.

How many copies
did you guys make?

17.

Okay. And how much
does a photocopy cost?

Four-and-a-half cents.

How about
they just pay for the copies?

I like this compromise.

Children, pay Ms. Sylvester,

and we'll let you off
with a warning.

And Sue, I'm sorry,
but I'll have to ask you

to personally clean
the congealed

protein shake off
the photocopy room floor.

That's why we
have janitors.

Sue, we're in a recession,
and concessions must be made.

I've laid off half
the janitorial staff.

We all need to lend a hand.

Lady Justice wept today.

I'm sorry
about that, Mr. Shue.

I'd like to get the flyers up
before lunch tomorrow.

You know what, guys?
I don't want to hear it.

Doing that song is going to kill
any chance the Glee Club has.

It's a terrible idea.

I have news for you, Rachel.

Sometimes you have to do
things you don't want to do.

We're doing
the assembly,

and you're not putting
up those flyers.

Everybody loves disco!

It's official.

I'm a dead man.

Look, I know
you're nervous,

but you're really,
really talented.

Stop it.

I mean, maybe
it'll all be okay.

Do you want
to practice

for the assembly
tomorrow after school?

I can't. I got
a Celibacy Club meeting.

Baby, I have some bad news.

A wealthy relative died?

I don't have any
wealthy relatives.

Oh.

I've just been pounding
the pavement

all week
after Glee rehearsal.

I... I can't find
any extra work.

That probably means
no grand foyer.

Why can't we ever be the
ones to catch a break?

No, no. It's going
to be okay, baby.

I mean, we don't need
a grand foyer to be happy...

No. You know what? I'm so
tired of the compromising.

I want my grand foyer,
I want my dream house.

I work hard,
I sacrifice,

I deserve it.

You know, we give and we give.

Do you think that the big shots

at Sheets N' Things care

that I sell more
personal massagers

than any other
assistant manager?

No. Or do you think
that those kids--

that they give a damn
that we go with so little

because you spend
all your spare time

choreographing those
stupid dance routines?

I mean, when

does anyone start giving back?

(sighs)

(rapid scraping)

I thought you asked Sue
to clean up after herself.

Sue got a note
from the school nurse claiming

that her lupus
made it impossible

to bend over a bucket of suds.

I've been here
till 10:00 p.m. every night

up to my elbows in Vamoose.

Any problem with me taking over

one of those nighttime
janitorial slots?

I'll work at half salary.

The Celibacy Club
is now in session.

Thanks to a school rule

that says we have
to let anyone join the club,

we're welcoming a new member
this week.

Rachel Whatshername.

Where are all the boys?

Down the hall.

First half hour, we separate.

Then we come together
to share our faith.

FINN:
I'm still on the fence
about the Celibacy Club.

I mean, I only joined to get
into Quinn Fabray's pants.

Still, it is a productive way
for us guys to get together

and talk about sexual issues.

I think
I'm going to kill myself.

I'm serious.

We're bombarded with
sexual imagery every day.

Beer ads, those
short skirts.

I'm supposed to be
surrounded by temptation,

not be able to do
anything about it?

Are you kidding?

Those skirts are
crunchy toast.

Santana Lopez bent over
in hers the other day,

and I swear I could
see her ovaries.

God bless the perv
that invented these.

Remember the power
motto, girls.

ALL:
It's all about the teasing
and not about the pleasing.

Oh!
Back it up like
a dump truck,

baby.

So, how far does Quinn
let you get anyway?

We grind, make out.

But how do you keep
from... arriving early?

Whenever I grind,
Cinco de Mayo.

(laughs)

It's not a problem for me, man.

Actually, it's a big problem.

Somebody once told me

that to keep
from erupting too early,

you should think
of dead kittens and stuff.

But the only image
that works for me happened

the day my mom took me out

to practice
for my driver's permit.

Pretty good, honey.

Who says a father figure's
necessary, huh?

(laughs)

Driving's fun.
Yeah.

(grunts)
(screams)

Oh, my God!

Oh, my! Oh, my!
Oh, my God, you killed him.

What are you gonna do?

Let's pair up
for the Immaculate Affection.

Now, remember,
if the balloon pops,

the noise makes the angels cry.

(male chorus vocalizing)

(female chorus harmonizing)

You enchant me.

BOY:
Yeah.

Stop it!
Take it.

Ah, yeah!
Oh!

Finn!

It must have hit my zipper.

You know what?
This is a joke.

Did you know

that most studies
have demonstrated

that celibacy doesn't work
in high schools?

Our hormones

are driving us too crazy
to abstain.

The second
we start telling ourselves

that there's no room
for compromise, we act out.

The only way to deal
with teen sexuality

is to be prepared.

That's what contraception
is for.

Don't you dare mention
the "C" word.

You want to know
a dirty little secret

that none of them want you
to know?

Girls want sex
just as much as guys do.

Is-is that accurate?

(scraping)

Will?

Aah... aah.

Emma... what are you doing here
so late?

I do SAT prep on Tuesday nights.

Are you, um, are you a janitor?

A ja-- no.

Really?

'Cause you're dressed
like a janitor

and your shirt says "Will."

Um... Terri and I are trying
to buy a house,

and we're, you know, struggling
to make ends meet, and...

(sighs)

I'm really embarrassed.

Would you mind keeping this
between us?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, your secret's
completely safe with me.

Thank you.

Do you, um...

Do you want a hand?

Oh, no.

I-I'm good, really.

Really, because, um,
I can see from here

that you've used window
cleaner to mop the floor.

And, uh, that keyboard is
crawling in E coli,

because I know for a fact
Ms. Hoffmeyer

doesn't wash her hands
after doing number twos.

I really admire you working
so hard for something you want.

Let's make a deal.

You're helping me
with my problem,

how about I take a stab
at one of yours?

Oh, no, I don't,

I don't have a problem.

You've been scrubbing that
pencil sharpener for an hour.

Well, I mean, I have,

I have a little
trouble with messes,

but it's not like it's a...
problem.

Okay.

When I was a little girl,

it was my dream
to work on a dairy farm.

Really?

Um, when I was eight,

we finally visited one,
and after the tour

and the yogurt tasting,
my, my brother

pushed me into
the runoff lagoon.

What?

And, um, ever since then
I've just...

I've had a little trouble

forgetting the, uh, the smell.

Have you thought about,
I don't know,

maybe seeing someone
about that?

Oh, no, it's completely
manageable.

You know, I just try to take
lots of showers

and I, um, you know,
I don't eat dairy.

So...

I want to try...

...a little experiment.

Oh, no. No, I'm not really,
um, comfortable

with, with... that.

There.

Ten seconds.

New record.

It's late. I should, um...

I should be, um... going.

(gavel banging)
I officially

call this meeting
of Glee Club in session.

But Mr. Schuester isn't here.
Mr. Schuester
isn't coming.

I paid a freshman
to ask him for help

with irregular verbs.
(Mercedes groans)

I'm so sick of hearing you
squawk, Eva Peron.

Let her talk.

I have another idea
for the assembly.

Can I, once again,
stress my most strenuous

objections to this
attempted suicide?

They're not going to kill us.

Because we're going to give them
what they want.

Blood?
Better.

Sex.

(feedback squeaks)

Silence, children.

Silence.

First, an announcement.

The toilets are broken again.

We are fixing the problem,
but let me warn you.

There will be zero tolerance

for anyone soiling
school grounds.

We're not going to have
a repeat of last time.

We have a treat
for you guys today.

Mr. Schuester.

Yay, Glee!

Glee kids, hooray!

Hi. Uh, when I went
to school here,

Glee Club ruled this place.

And we're on our way back.

But we need some recruits
to join the party.

Now, I could tell you all about

how great Glee is, but, uh,

I think I'm going to let
some friends of mine

show you instead.

* Get up on this *

("Push It" plays)

* Get up on this *
* Ooh, baby, baby *

* Ba-baby, baby *

* Ooh, baby, baby *

* Ba-baby, baby *
* Get up on this *

* Push it *
* Hey! *

* Get up on this *

* Push it *

* Sa, sa, sa, sa, sa
Salt and Pepa's here *

* Get up on this *
* Now, wait a minute, y'all. *

* Now, this dance ain't
for e'rybody *

* Only the sexy people *

* So all you fly mothers *

* Get on out there and dance *

* Dance, I said *

* Holla! *
* Sa-Salt and Pepa's here *

* And we're in effect,
want you *

* To push it, babe *

* Coolin' by day,
then at night *

* Workin' up a sweat,
come on, girls *

* Let's go show the guys
that we know *

* How to become number one
in a hot party show *

* Now push it *

* Ah... push it *

* Push it good *

* Ah... push it *

* Push it real good *

* Ah... push it *

* Push it good *

* Ah... push it *

* Puh-push it real good *

* Ah... push it *

* Get up on this *

* Hey! *

* Get up on this *

* Yo, baby pop *

* Yeah, you,
come here, give me a kiss *

* Better make it fast
or else I'm gonna get pissed *

* Can you hear the music
pumpin' hard *

* Like I wish you would? *

* Now push it *
* Ah... *

* Push it *

* Push it good *

* Ah... push it *

* Push it real good *

* Ah... push it *

* Push it good *

* Ah... push it *

* Puh-push it real good *
* Ah... *

* Push it *

* Get up on this *
* Ah... push it *

* Get up on this *

* Ow! *
* Holla! *

* Get up on this *
* Ah... push it *

* Hey! *
* Ah... *

* Push it. *

Yes!

(roaring applause)

Let me be the one
to break the silence.

That was the most offensive
thing I've seen

in 20 years of teaching.

And that includes an elementary
school production of Hair.

We received angry e-mails

from a number
of concerned parents,

many of whom thought
that their children
were going to hear

a Special Olympian speak
about overcoming adversity.

I... I really don't
know what to say.

Well, let me help
you out, then.

My first thought

was that your students
should be

put into foster care.

(sighs)

But you're the one
who should be punished.

I demand your resignation
from this school,

as well as the disbanding
of Glee Club.

Now, hold on, Sue.

The issue is content.

Those kids are talented.

And I have not
seen the student
body this excited

since Tiffany performed
at the North Hills Mall.

I took the liberty
of calling my pastor

to provide a list
of family-friendly songs

that reflect
our community's values.

Your kids can only perform these
preapproved musical selections.

But all these songs
have either

"Jesus" or "balloons"
in the title.

But they're also songs
about the circus.

This egg is
sunny-side up, Will.

You need new outfits.

I got several flashes of panty
from your group today,

and I'm not talking
about the girls.

So, Sue, I'm cutting
your dry-cleaning budget

to pay for new costumes
for the Glee Club.

This will not stand.

Oh, Sue.

The dry-cleaners here
are just as good as the ones

in Europe.

Mr. Schuester, I'm so sorry.

Do you understand what you
did today? You lied to me.

And you ruined our chances.
No parent in their right mind

is going to let their
kid join Glee now.

Oh, and, uh, here's a list

of the songs that
we're allowed to sing.

What's a "luftballoon"?

Look, I know how much
you care about Glee Club.

And I understand why
you did what you did.

But I don't like
the way you did it.

They're for Tulip-A-Looza.

It's a tulip festival down

at the Columbus
Convention Center.

It's supposed
to smell pretty nice.

That's really
sweet of you, Ken,

but I have a... asthma.

What are you doing?

Chasing a married guy.

I saw you playing house

with him after hours, Emma.

Look.

I don't know a lot
about relationships.

Most of mine are short and flame
out once the sex goes,

but I do know you never want
to be the rebounder.

I'm a good man, Emma.

I'll treat you right.
I'll put up with all your crazy.

They can't fire me
'cause I'm a minority,

so I'll always be able
to provide for you.

You could do a lot worse,

and in this town, you're not
going to do much better.

Okay, I'm done talking now.

Try it.

* La. *

Good.
That was good.

Okay, one more up.
(plays higher note)

* La. *

That was really good.
Is that okay?

Yeah, it's like the Holy Grail
for a baritenor,

so it's a good note.

All right, I'll start

at the bottom,
and then we'll go up higher.

Can we take a break?

Singing kind of makes me
a little hungry.

Yeah, sure.

Well, lucky I prepared for that.

Wow, I was wondering
what that was all about.

Want to sit?

Yeah, yeah.

Absolutely.

I was wondering why you asked me
to help you with your singing.

You kicked butt
at the assembly.

Well, this is...

my only chance to be,

you know, good like you.

You think I'm good?

Well, when I first joined, I
thought you were kind of insane.

I mean, you talk a lot more than
you should, and to be honest

with you, I looked
under the bed

and made sure
that you weren't

hanging out under there.

But then, I heard you sing.

I don't know
how to say this,

but you touched
something in me.

Right here.

Your heart's on the other

side of your chest.

Oh.

It's beating really hard.

You're cool, Rachel.

Do you want a drink?

Yeah.

Virgin cosmos.
Cool.

That stuff you said
at the Celibacy Club,

that was really cool.

Thanks.

Well...

Cheers.

Cheers.

The cups are like
the airplane cups.

Oh, you got a little cosmo
right...

here.

You know, you can kiss me
if you want to.

I want to.

What?

(screaming):
Oh, my God!

What are you gonna do?!

Did I do something wrong?

No, no. Um...
I just got to go.

Look, please don't tell
anybody about this, okay?

I don't want my baby
to grow an extra arm

just because I live in squalor
and I'm so stressed.

So, I want you to run
any and all tests you have.

Trust me, you're clear.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Is it a boy or a girl?

Um...

I don't quite know
how to put this.

There's no baby.

Did it fall out?

(laughs)

Uh, no. Um...

You're not pregnant.

But I've gained ten pounds.

It's probably from
eating. I can see

a chicken wing in there that
you must have swallowed whole.

You're having what's called
a hysterical pregnancy.

You want a baby so badly that
your body mimics the symptoms.

If you're meant to get
pregnant, it'll happen.

I have to say, I'm a little surprised you guys
are trying in on it.

I'm sure you've read about this
in the school paper.

Finn and I have been
an item for a while now,

so what kind of girlfriend would
I be if I didn't support him?

Well, let's see what you've got.

("Say a Little Prayer for You"
plays)

* Say a little prayer for you *

* The moment I wake up *

* Before I put on my makeup *

* Makeup *

* I say a little *
* Prayer for you *

* While combing my hair now *

* And wonderin' what dress
to wear now *

* Wear now *
* I say a little *

* Prayer for you *

* Forever, forever
you'll stay in my heart *

* And I will love you *

* Forever and ever *

* We never will part *

* Oh, how I love you *

* Together, together,
that's how it must be *

* To live without you *

* Would only mean
heartbreak for me *

SUE:
Let me get this straight.

You're joining Glee Club?

I'm sorry, Coach Sylvester,

but something is going on
between Finn and that thing.

You saw how it was

undressing him
with its eyes.

Please don't kick us
off the Cheerios.

Cease fire on the waterworks.

I don't want to hear it.
I don't want to see it.

You know, Q, when I
first laid eyes on you,

I was reminded of a
young Sue Sylvester,

though you don't have
my bone structure.

But it wasn't until
this very moment,

I saw how alike we really are.

You three are going
to be my spies.

I need eyes on the inside.

We're going to bring
this club down from within.

(chuckles)

And I'm going
to get my boyfriend back.

I don't care so much about that.

(school bell rings)

Hey, Emma.
Guess what?

I found these new
disinfecting bleach wipes.

What do you say?

Boys bathroom
in the science wing?

9:00?

Will, what are we doing?

I mean, you're
having a baby.

Um, and anyway, uh...

I have a date.

Oh, that's great.
Yeah.

Yeah, but, with who?

I'm going to go
to Tulip-A-Looza.

With Ken.

There's my man.

Bringing home the bacon.

You... you made dinner.

I thought you'd be asleep.

Well, I wanted to talk
to you about something,

so I made you chicken pot pie.

From scratch.

(chuckles)

Terri, that's so
thoughtful. I...

(sighs) Yeah, you know,

I've been working so
hard lately, some--

Sometimes I forget
what I'm doing it for.

Family's
what's important to me.

You and the little guy
or gal on the way.

I hope you know that.

Yeah.

I'm sorry. What was it
you wanted to talk about?

I went to the
baby doctor today.

And?

And...

It's a boy.

Oh, my God.
Terri, that's amazing.
Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Oh!

(laughing)

I want you to give up
being a janitor.

What?

Yeah. We don't
need a new house.

We'll turn my craft
room into a nursery.

It's a compromise
that I want to make.

Really?

Yeah.

You know the only project
that I want to work on now...

is us.

I love you so much.

You're giving Quinn Fabray
the solo?

That's my solo.

You made this happen, Rachel.

You were the one who wanted
to sell sex at the assembly.

Quinn's audition song was on
Figgins's approved list,

and frankly, she did a heck
of a job singing it.

You're punishing me.

Contrary to your beliefs,
it's not all about you.

Or, I've realized, about me.

Look, I screwed up, too.

I'm as responsible for
what you did at that
assembly as you are.

I should never have
pushed disco so hard.

When we did it back in '93, the
disco revival was in its heyday.

It was cool. We had fun.

And that... that is what Glee
is supposed to be about.

If we're going to succeed,

we both need
to change our mindsets.

You're not always going
to be the star.

But I promise to do my best

to make sure
you're always having fun.

This is a good
thing, Rachel.

We're on our way..

Can I use the auditorium
later to practe?

Our neighbors are
filing a lawsuit.

Sure.

("Take a Bow" plays)

* You look so dumb right now *

* Standing outside my house *

* Trying to apologize *

* You're so ugly when you cry *

* Please just cut it out *

* And don't tell me you're sorry
'cause you're not *

* Baby, when I know you're only
sorry you got caught *

* But you put on quite a show *

* Ooh *
* Really had me going *

* Now it's time to go *

* Oh *
* Curtain's finally closing *

* That was quite a show *

* Ooh, oh *
* Very entertaining *

* But it's over now *

* But it's over now *

* Go on and take a bow *

* Oh *

* And the award *

* For the best liar *

* Goes to you *
* Goes to you *

* For making me believe *

* That you could be *

* Faithful to me *
* Faithful *

* Let's hear your speech *

* Oh! *
* Well, you put on
quite a show *

* Really had me going *

* Now it's time to go *

* Curtain's finally closing *

* That was quite a show *

* Very entertaining *

* But it's over now *

* But it's over now *

* Go on and take a bow *

* But it's over now. *

Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com