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1
00:00:02,415 --> 00:00:03,641
Hi, I'm Benji.
2
00:00:03,743 --> 00:00:05,173
And those of you who know me
3
00:00:05,205 --> 00:00:07,805
know I'm crazy about young boys.
4
00:00:08,087 --> 00:00:09,938
But that doesn't
impact my ability
5
00:00:09,987 --> 00:00:13,532
to sexually harass women
in the workplace.
6
00:00:13,602 --> 00:00:14,812
Hey, Becky.
7
00:00:14,872 --> 00:00:16,772
That's a dynamite pantsuit.
8
00:00:16,829 --> 00:00:18,516
Well, thank you.
9
00:00:19,745 --> 00:00:21,063
Practice with me.
10
00:00:21,126 --> 00:00:23,993
Say "Do you need a man's help,
sugar boobs?"
11
00:00:24,091 --> 00:00:27,180
Do you need a man's help,
sugar boobs?
12
00:00:27,271 --> 00:00:29,391
Why don't you let me help you
unfasten that bra,
13
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:31,874
so you can better see
the pornographic picture
14
00:00:31,982 --> 00:00:33,082
I just sent you?
15
00:00:33,279 --> 00:00:35,555
I would like equal pay
for equal work.
16
00:00:36,738 --> 00:00:39,477
Geez, is it that time
of the month already?
17
00:00:39,542 --> 00:00:41,563
Now fetch me some coffee, Becky.
18
00:00:41,629 --> 00:00:43,907
I'm done with you sexually.
19
00:00:44,011 --> 00:00:45,102
Okay.
20
00:00:45,856 --> 00:00:48,586
Any... any questions?
21
00:00:48,802 --> 00:00:50,134
Why are we watching this video?
22
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:51,571
There's no women around here.
23
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,352
Times are changing, Gary.
24
00:00:53,534 --> 00:00:56,464
Women are just as capable as men
in the workplace.
25
00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,017
So I'm bringing in some stupid
bimbos to work with you guys.
26
00:01:03,134 --> 00:01:04,290
Any other questions?
27
00:01:04,415 --> 00:01:05,540
Yeah, William?
28
00:01:05,696 --> 00:01:07,126
My teeth are falling out.
29
00:01:07,217 --> 00:01:08,798
That's more of a statement,
William.
30
00:01:08,822 --> 00:01:11,149
*YOUR PRETTY FACE IS GOING TO HELL*
Season 03 Episode 09
"Lee"
31
00:01:13,679 --> 00:01:16,485
Hi, I'm Claude,
Satan's number two.
32
00:01:16,626 --> 00:01:18,712
Got you a welcome gift.
"Leaves of Grass."
33
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:20,595
It's a collection of poems
by Walt Whitman.
34
00:01:20,664 --> 00:01:22,524
Walt's actually down here,
'cause he's gay.
35
00:01:22,595 --> 00:01:25,335
If you ever want to meet him,
I have an in.
36
00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:29,595
His poems are so, uh, sensual,
don't you think?
37
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:31,985
I also got you a bookmark.
38
00:01:32,420 --> 00:01:33,649
Safety first.
39
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:36,524
Ahh! Ahh!
40
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,456
Hey, sweetheart.
41
00:01:44,509 --> 00:01:45,982
Are you looking for a chair?
42
00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:49,666
Let me clear some space
so you can sit down.
43
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,287
Whoa! Shot down!
44
00:01:57,764 --> 00:01:59,186
Hi, honey.
I'm Troy.
45
00:01:59,279 --> 00:02:01,295
You got a burger
to go with that shake?
46
00:02:01,748 --> 00:02:04,248
Your mother
sucks ding-dongs in Hell!
47
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:05,445
What? You're right.
She does,
48
00:02:05,469 --> 00:02:07,465
and I should go
call her right now.
49
00:02:08,006 --> 00:02:09,889
Who's been digging into
the pork wall?
50
00:02:10,026 --> 00:02:12,961
Haazim, I thought you guys
were Muslims.
51
00:02:13,086 --> 00:02:14,662
Do I got to smell
people's breath?
52
00:02:14,691 --> 00:02:15,717
You did.
53
00:02:15,798 --> 00:02:17,123
I did this?
54
00:02:17,219 --> 00:02:20,201
It's taken you many months,
but this is almost all you.
55
00:02:24,473 --> 00:02:26,373
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
56
00:02:26,967 --> 00:02:28,584
I just want to motorboat it.
57
00:02:28,756 --> 00:02:31,889
You guys are the luckiest group
of people in this whole place.
58
00:02:34,568 --> 00:02:35,990
Ah, man, hi!
59
00:02:36,047 --> 00:02:38,162
You must be one of
the new girls.
60
00:02:38,979 --> 00:02:40,006
It's lovely to meet you.
61
00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:41,500
I hope everything's
settling in okay.
62
00:02:44,576 --> 00:02:47,053
Well, righty-duty, let me know
if you need anything.
63
00:02:47,132 --> 00:02:48,248
Holy shit!
64
00:02:48,363 --> 00:02:50,107
You walk this way,
I'm gonna walk that way.
65
00:02:50,178 --> 00:02:51,208
All right?
66
00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:52,701
We will fix this!
67
00:02:52,764 --> 00:02:53,826
Mama Leony!
68
00:02:53,885 --> 00:02:55,415
I am not stalking you.
69
00:02:57,412 --> 00:02:58,982
You go that way,
I'm gonna go this way.
70
00:02:59,623 --> 00:03:01,006
Ah, man!
71
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:02,772
Fu...
72
00:03:03,179 --> 00:03:04,439
Leave me alone!
73
00:03:05,232 --> 00:03:06,279
Where is she?
74
00:03:06,327 --> 00:03:07,725
Where's she gonna be?
75
00:03:07,911 --> 00:03:09,912
Oh, my sweet brisket!
76
00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,686
Ah, man!
77
00:03:15,751 --> 00:03:17,109
You want some?
78
00:03:19,675 --> 00:03:22,023
Please don't kill me!
Please!
79
00:03:25,650 --> 00:03:26,718
Whoo!
80
00:03:26,855 --> 00:03:28,440
Whoo!
81
00:03:28,886 --> 00:03:31,109
Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
82
00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:35,796
Let's do it again.
Start from the top.
83
00:03:38,705 --> 00:03:41,235
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell.
84
00:03:41,500 --> 00:03:43,679
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell.
85
00:03:43,836 --> 00:03:46,335
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell.
86
00:03:46,472 --> 00:03:48,172
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell...
87
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:51,861
♪♪
88
00:03:58,377 --> 00:03:59,666
Stop it, Troy.
89
00:03:59,734 --> 00:04:00,934
What are you doing?
- What?
90
00:04:01,187 --> 00:04:02,799
You touched my penis
with your foot.
91
00:04:02,893 --> 00:04:04,221
I'm not doing nothin'.
92
00:04:04,725 --> 00:04:07,088
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell.
93
00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:10,338
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell.
94
00:04:10,611 --> 00:04:12,711
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell.
95
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:15,275
Your mother sucks ding-dongs
in Hell.
96
00:04:15,398 --> 00:04:16,791
Thank you, Regan,
97
00:04:16,816 --> 00:04:18,377
for that very enlightening
98
00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:19,870
and informative presentation
99
00:04:19,988 --> 00:04:21,986
on what everybody's mothers
have been doing,
100
00:04:22,057 --> 00:04:23,150
down here in Hell.
101
00:04:23,227 --> 00:04:24,717
I got nothing out of that.
102
00:04:24,924 --> 00:04:26,784
How are you ladies settling in?
103
00:04:28,197 --> 00:04:29,212
Claude touched you?
104
00:04:29,284 --> 00:04:30,469
Wait, no!
105
00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:32,908
Uh, she touched me first.
She melted my hand.
106
00:04:32,958 --> 00:04:34,955
I was just helping her
set up her e-mail.
107
00:04:35,097 --> 00:04:37,783
Just he...
Oh, Claude.
108
00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:40,736
Poetry and colored condoms?
109
00:04:40,875 --> 00:04:43,182
Gentlemen, I did a whole
presentation on this,
110
00:04:43,314 --> 00:04:46,080
and inter-office romance
is strictly forbidden.
111
00:04:46,169 --> 00:04:48,682
Well, I have
a bombshell to drop.
112
00:04:48,743 --> 00:04:52,041
Gary moved the copier
in front of his cube
113
00:04:52,115 --> 00:04:53,545
so that he and Lee...
114
00:04:57,344 --> 00:04:58,914
G-Gary,
what's he talking about?
115
00:04:58,939 --> 00:05:00,962
I don't know. I don't know
what he's talking about, Satan!
116
00:05:00,986 --> 00:05:03,721
And now he's smoking,
and I find it disgusting.
117
00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:06,619
Gary's right, Claude.
118
00:05:06,658 --> 00:05:08,594
Please take the smoking
down to the loading dock.
119
00:05:08,619 --> 00:05:09,782
He thinks we're gonna have
120
00:05:09,806 --> 00:05:12,055
inter-office romance
with that thing?
121
00:05:18,936 --> 00:05:20,420
Say it again!
122
00:05:20,802 --> 00:05:22,616
Say it again! Say it...
123
00:05:22,676 --> 00:05:24,967
Call her a thing again!
124
00:05:25,233 --> 00:05:28,034
Call "her" a thing again!
125
00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,045
Who wants it?!
126
00:05:36,981 --> 00:05:38,749
Ohhh, here comes the soup.
127
00:05:38,912 --> 00:05:41,803
We can all hear every word
that's coming out of your mouth!
128
00:05:41,832 --> 00:05:43,707
Mind your own business!
129
00:05:43,832 --> 00:05:45,624
I'm only in here.
130
00:05:45,765 --> 00:05:50,235
I'm filing difficult stuff
with my coworker.
131
00:05:50,538 --> 00:05:53,006
Filing your dick under
the folder marked vagina?
132
00:05:53,035 --> 00:05:56,163
You're really distracting me
in a bad way, Troy.
133
00:05:56,553 --> 00:05:57,813
I love you, too.
134
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,249
I really do.
135
00:05:59,647 --> 00:06:02,663
But I think
we're moving too fast.
136
00:06:02,901 --> 00:06:04,444
You're moving too fast.
137
00:06:04,519 --> 00:06:07,679
You are literally
an unseeable blur.
138
00:06:16,474 --> 00:06:17,791
That's so cool!
139
00:06:17,885 --> 00:06:18,911
Where is that?
140
00:06:18,942 --> 00:06:20,982
Is that where you live?
141
00:06:21,797 --> 00:06:23,226
Whoa!
142
00:06:24,921 --> 00:06:26,455
Whoa!
143
00:06:27,022 --> 00:06:28,732
Whoa! I'm in the TV!
144
00:06:28,943 --> 00:06:30,936
I'm a movie star!
145
00:06:31,337 --> 00:06:35,107
I-I just want to try something.
I want to try something!
146
00:06:35,735 --> 00:06:37,365
Am I doing it?
147
00:06:37,559 --> 00:06:39,559
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
148
00:06:39,678 --> 00:06:44,518
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
149
00:06:47,164 --> 00:06:49,494
I can still hear you
through the TV!
150
00:06:49,569 --> 00:06:51,169
Hit mute, Troy!
151
00:06:52,149 --> 00:06:53,735
Uh, you wanted to see me?
152
00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,220
Gary, get in here!
153
00:06:55,356 --> 00:06:57,524
You must be Lee.
154
00:06:57,689 --> 00:06:59,376
Been seeing her
around the office.
155
00:06:59,510 --> 00:07:01,540
Troy tells me that you two
are living together,
156
00:07:01,594 --> 00:07:04,274
inside a shack,
inside your television?!
157
00:07:04,344 --> 00:07:05,476
I'm sorry.
158
00:07:05,574 --> 00:07:07,524
I'm so sorry.
Don't blame Lee.
159
00:07:07,595 --> 00:07:09,884
She's got nothing to do with it.
I talked her into it.
160
00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:10,969
And I'm just...
161
00:07:11,044 --> 00:07:13,469
Yeah, I'm...
I'm... I'm... I'm...
162
00:07:13,989 --> 00:07:15,579
I'm not sorry.
163
00:07:15,673 --> 00:07:16,688
What?
164
00:07:19,365 --> 00:07:24,040
I'm your most valued employee,
right?
165
00:07:24,147 --> 00:07:27,295
I can't even,
I cannot do this...
166
00:07:28,827 --> 00:07:33,298
Lee and I are a platonic team
together and we...
167
00:07:38,430 --> 00:07:39,930
We're dating.
168
00:07:46,270 --> 00:07:47,661
Go on and date her.
169
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,428
- What?
- I don't give a shit.
170
00:07:51,495 --> 00:07:53,216
You got some real balls on you,
Gary.
171
00:07:53,351 --> 00:07:54,708
Yes, they are very swollen.
172
00:07:54,733 --> 00:07:55,911
Yeah, they are.
173
00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:57,510
I think I sat on a bee.
174
00:07:57,567 --> 00:07:58,967
They do look bigger, right?
175
00:07:58,992 --> 00:08:01,792
Listen, I didn't care
about you two hooking up.
176
00:08:01,935 --> 00:08:03,465
I just said
no inter-office romance
177
00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:06,643
because she's got
that curse, you know?
178
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,350
What curse?
179
00:08:08,403 --> 00:08:10,343
The curse where you get
elephantitis of the nut-sac
180
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:12,327
when you have sex with her.
181
00:08:13,805 --> 00:08:15,682
But we can be open
about dating each other?
182
00:08:15,841 --> 00:08:17,174
Oh, my gosh, of course!
183
00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:18,377
Send out the invitations!
184
00:08:18,433 --> 00:08:20,557
Yes! We did it!
185
00:08:21,221 --> 00:08:23,174
I love you, baby.
Oh, ah, okay, all right.
186
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:25,710
I got like, accidentally hard
and it makes them hurt worse.
187
00:08:25,884 --> 00:08:29,018
♪ Having a barbecue
this weekend, y'all ♪
188
00:08:29,121 --> 00:08:31,651
Lee and I are having a bit of
a housewarming this weekend
189
00:08:31,721 --> 00:08:33,932
inside the TV, where we bone.
190
00:08:34,053 --> 00:08:35,891
I really hope you can stop by,
Claude.
191
00:08:35,971 --> 00:08:37,367
Lee can pull you through the TV
192
00:08:37,463 --> 00:08:39,338
if she doesn't melt
the rest of you first.
193
00:08:42,345 --> 00:08:45,963
If I do come,
I'll take Troy's TV.
194
00:08:46,508 --> 00:08:47,667
Troy has a TV?
195
00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:48,815
Yeah.
196
00:08:49,109 --> 00:08:50,479
That's really interesting.
197
00:08:52,526 --> 00:08:54,369
Oh, wow, Troy.
198
00:08:54,783 --> 00:08:56,494
That's a pretty big TV.
199
00:08:56,932 --> 00:08:59,182
What is that,
a 50-incher?
200
00:08:59,942 --> 00:09:01,842
Yeah.
Something like that.
201
00:09:02,087 --> 00:09:03,596
That's pretty big.
202
00:09:04,262 --> 00:09:06,534
You gonna come by
the barbecue on Saturday?
203
00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:09,416
Yeah, I think I'm gonna be
pretty busy that day, Gary.
204
00:09:09,481 --> 00:09:11,612
That's really weird.
You never turn down a party.
205
00:09:11,776 --> 00:09:13,588
And normally
somebody turns around
206
00:09:13,666 --> 00:09:15,893
when somebody's talking to them.
207
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,838
I knew I saw you
buying a hoodie!
208
00:09:21,229 --> 00:09:23,534
We were gonna tell you
after the barbecue.
209
00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:25,034
You son of a bitch!
210
00:09:25,151 --> 00:09:26,752
Oooh!
You took her for granted!
211
00:09:26,826 --> 00:09:28,482
You don't know what I do!
212
00:09:28,623 --> 00:09:31,119
Oh, mamacita!
213
00:09:33,685 --> 00:09:35,597
any respect!
214
00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:38,886
Try!
215
00:09:38,964 --> 00:09:40,472
Ohh, sha poy!
216
00:09:40,499 --> 00:09:41,894
The poy got it!
217
00:09:42,324 --> 00:09:44,284
Everybody makes mistakes, Lee.
218
00:09:44,543 --> 00:09:50,613
Can you ever forgive me for
not satisfying you sexually?
219
00:09:51,496 --> 00:09:53,371
I can get better at it.
220
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,520
I can push more, I can...
221
00:09:58,259 --> 00:10:02,029
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
222
00:10:02,147 --> 00:10:03,575
♪ Ooh ♪
223
00:10:03,694 --> 00:10:05,012
Oh, hey, hey, hey!
224
00:10:05,135 --> 00:10:06,528
Where's the barbecue, boys?
225
00:10:06,578 --> 00:10:08,223
Well, I guess
it's been canceled.
226
00:10:08,411 --> 00:10:10,302
- Canceled?
- Why?
227
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,966
Take a look.
228
00:10:14,857 --> 00:10:17,427
They're really trying to
work it out there, aren't they?
229
00:10:17,541 --> 00:10:21,861
And I had these prop balls made
to mess with Gary.
230
00:10:22,029 --> 00:10:23,048
Troy, do you mind?
231
00:10:23,111 --> 00:10:24,149
I can probably get up if...
232
00:10:24,173 --> 00:10:25,572
Benji, cups all around.
233
00:10:25,675 --> 00:10:28,517
A toast, to Gary and Lee.
234
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:30,188
So, has anybody hit on that
235
00:10:30,305 --> 00:10:32,776
your-mother-sucks-ding-dongs
in-Hell chick yet?
236
00:10:33,339 --> 00:10:35,152
What time did we tell everybody
to get here?
237
00:10:38,316 --> 00:10:40,605
My ass and testicles
are blocking the door.
238
00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:43,144
Can you open a portal
to another TV?
239
00:10:44,309 --> 00:10:45,539
Not Troy's.
240
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,211
What did we talk about?
241
00:10:47,526 --> 00:10:49,793
We gonna backtrack
on all the work we did?
242
00:10:51,008 --> 00:10:53,121
I'm not burning them.
This is a char.
243
00:10:53,183 --> 00:10:54,668
I'm releasing
the natural sugars.
244
00:10:54,732 --> 00:10:57,992
I don't need you to backseat
cook me, okay?
245
00:10:58,065 --> 00:10:59,825
It's really weird that
nobody's wailing on
246
00:10:59,903 --> 00:11:01,242
my defenseless testicles
right now.
247
00:11:01,266 --> 00:11:02,266
Oh, here it comes!
248
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,124
Oh, God, they're starting.
249
00:11:04,242 --> 00:11:05,496
Ow, ow, ow!
250
00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:07,261
Oh, my nuts!
251
00:11:07,383 --> 00:11:08,753
My damn nuts!
252
00:11:09,524 --> 00:11:11,485
I am burning these.
17425
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