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1
00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:04,128
Whee!
2
00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:06,380
Uh-oh. Aah!
3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,465
♪ ♪
4
00:00:08,466 --> 00:00:09,509
D'oh!
5
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,225
D'oh!
6
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:27,484
Sir, I've prepared
your year-end finance report.
7
00:00:27,485 --> 00:00:30,487
Initiate ocular scan mode.
8
00:00:30,488 --> 00:00:32,865
Illuminate...
9
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,992
and recalibrate.
10
00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:37,536
Gah! Unthinkable! The horror!
11
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:38,829
This is the first year
my earnings
12
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:39,997
are lower than the year before.
13
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,540
I'm sorry, sir.
14
00:00:41,541 --> 00:00:43,292
These days,
enlightened people like solar,
15
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,377
and the consciously evil
prefer fracking.
16
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,212
Wh-Why, if this continues,
17
00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,923
in 150 years
I'll be out on the street.
18
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:52,050
Sir, sir, sir,
I'm sure there's some sort
19
00:00:52,051 --> 00:00:53,844
of inessential line item
20
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:55,387
- that no one will miss.
- Mm-hmm.
21
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,972
Effective immediately:
22
00:00:56,973 --> 00:00:59,224
children's health care will
be cut from workers' benefits.
23
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:10,903
This meeting is over. God bless
the United States of America
24
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,696
and release the hounds.
25
00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:17,367
Oh, I got three kids,
and they've all got health.
26
00:01:17,368 --> 00:01:19,077
I am so cursed.
27
00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:21,413
That's what you get
for having a family.
28
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,749
I'm gonna die like I lived:
29
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,794
nice and lonely.
30
00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,881
Sweet.
31
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,302
Maybe we can get the kids
government health care.
32
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:38,555
Oh, sorry, Marge,
that's gone, remember?
33
00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,642
Because of those corporate
tax cuts we all wanted?
34
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,435
I didn't want them.
35
00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:46,230
You say so now,
but I remember you back then.
36
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,732
"Ooh, corporate tax cuts.
37
00:01:48,733 --> 00:01:51,193
Makers not takers."
38
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,987
Oh, every time
Ann Coulter has a cold,
39
00:01:53,988 --> 00:01:55,989
you think she's me.
40
00:01:55,990 --> 00:01:58,492
I'm sorry, honey.
We'll just have to cut back
41
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,035
on the kids' meds.
42
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,913
Back in my day,
children didn't need no meds!
43
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:04,623
You just gave 'em
a slug of whiskey
44
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,958
and sent 'em off to school.
45
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,793
And if they lost their snowshoe,
46
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:09,711
you'd beat 'em
with the other one!
47
00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:13,549
That's how we raised the
generation that lost Vietnam.
48
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:16,468
Bart, your old attention
deficit disorder medicine
49
00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:18,887
isn't covered
by insurance anymore,
50
00:02:18,888 --> 00:02:22,140
so we'll have to use a cheaper
drug that's just as good.
51
00:02:22,141 --> 00:02:24,017
So goodbye, Focusyn.
52
00:02:24,018 --> 00:02:26,563
Hello, Chillaxodol.
53
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:29,399
Mm.
54
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:33,193
Mom, I was just
on hypochondria. edu,
55
00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:35,321
and I think
you should see something.
56
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:39,032
Are you givingyour precious child
57
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:43,495
the generic ADD medicationChillaxodol?
58
00:02:43,496 --> 00:02:44,955
Yes. Why?
59
00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,499
Your child may experienceunwanted side effects,
60
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,460
including headaches...
61
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:52,629
painful spasms...
62
00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:55,507
...dry mouth...
63
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,884
Ah.
64
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,469
- ...and whiskers...
- Mm!
65
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,847
...musical flatulence...
66
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,184
...involuntaryMemphis juking...
67
00:03:06,185 --> 00:03:08,896
♪ ♪
68
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,898
...sudden relocation...
69
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,733
Hmm? Mm.
70
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,527
...and a symptomthat can only be described
71
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,404
as "dolphining."
72
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,368
If you or a loved one
73
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:25,621
is experiencingany of these side effects,
74
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,581
you would do well to remember
75
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,042
that life isheartless and brutal,
76
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,753
and the cosmosis indifferent to us all.
77
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:36,007
I'd say goodbye,but what's the point?
78
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:43,096
Without insurance,
we'll just have to go to...
79
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,724
Dr. Nick.
80
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:47,100
Sorry, everybody.
81
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:50,771
Remember, if at any time
you become a dog,
82
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:53,231
then I can medicine you.
83
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:55,401
No hope.
There's no hope here.
84
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,073
Hmm. "The healing magic
of crystals."
85
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:04,661
Well,
I've tried everything else.
86
00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:11,124
Shalom, kind queen.
87
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,585
I mean the "hello" shalom,
but also the "peace" one.
88
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,963
How can I soothe you?
89
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,173
Wow. That was a lot just now.
90
00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:22,511
But yet it's only a snippet
of the cosmic conversation.
91
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,763
Look, my son is having
bad side effects
92
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,431
from his ADD meds.
93
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,475
His father wants him
to join football
94
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,644
for a nice, calming concussion.
95
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:32,646
I have just the thing for you.
96
00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:34,147
Crystals?
97
00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:36,483
Healing crystals.
98
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:38,527
I am pretty desperate.
99
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:40,570
Crystals are a timeless database
100
00:04:40,571 --> 00:04:43,448
of energy,
knowledge and sparkling.
101
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,492
Scientists are finally waking up
102
00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:48,245
to what pyramids
have known all along.
103
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:51,790
I vant to suck your money.
104
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:55,669
Uh, maybe I could just buy
a couple rocks and go.
105
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,462
Oh, they're more than rocks.
106
00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,007
They make
great stocking stuffers.
107
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:01,425
And for Hanukkah?
108
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,718
Uh, useless.
109
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:05,263
Hey.
110
00:05:09,517 --> 00:05:12,894
Bart, it's time
for your ADD treatment.
111
00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:14,396
Aah...
112
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,398
aah, aah, aah.
113
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,358
Hmm, maybe he's
a little overtrained.
114
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,943
It's not a pill.
115
00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,319
Ooh, a suppository.
116
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:22,696
Fill 'er up.
117
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,740
It's not a drug.
118
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:26,909
I want you to try these.
119
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,328
Hmm...
120
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,128
I believe.
121
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:43,091
"A" paper by Lisa.
"A" paper by Lisa.
122
00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,469
"A" paper by Bart.
123
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:48,472
An "A"?
Oh, my gosh, Bart!
124
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,557
Could it really be the crystals?
125
00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,851
Yes, definitely the crystals.
126
00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,895
You really got an "A"?
127
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,646
No white-out.
128
00:05:56,647 --> 00:05:58,648
The answers
are actually correct.
129
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:00,734
Maybe he really did the work.
130
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:04,362
Or maybe he cheated,
and I have to find out how.
131
00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:07,240
Whoa! Someone could use
a chill-out crystal.
132
00:06:07,241 --> 00:06:09,743
It's made by your boyfriend,
Lis: the Earth!
133
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:11,745
Lisa has a boyfriend?
134
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:13,789
And this is how I find out?
135
00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,416
I don't know
which of you two is dumber.
136
00:06:16,417 --> 00:06:20,629
So I'm a bit
of a mystery, huh? Huh?
137
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,049
Marge, I heard Bart got an "A."
138
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,760
- How'd you do it?
- Can you keep a secret?
139
00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:29,137
Unless it's about a person, yes.
140
00:06:29,138 --> 00:06:30,639
It was crystals.
141
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:31,890
Crystals, huh?
142
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,725
I could use
some of those for Kirk.
143
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,477
I want to seed the bed
with them,
144
00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:37,312
so he doesn't crawl over to me.
145
00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,899
No worries. I'll
pick up more on my way home.
146
00:06:42,151 --> 00:06:44,319
Oh, no, what happened?
147
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:46,696
I'm closing the store.
A cot finally opened up
148
00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:49,658
in this cult
I've been trying to get into.
149
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,368
Congratulations, I guess.
150
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:53,161
Can I still buy crystals?
151
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,704
Just take 'em.
152
00:06:54,705 --> 00:06:57,958
In fact, you can have
my entire inventory.
153
00:06:57,959 --> 00:06:59,377
Thank you.
154
00:07:00,878 --> 00:07:03,714
Now, enter my chariot to Heaven.
155
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,801
Are you sure about this?
156
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:11,429
Of course! I'm ascending
to a higher level of being.
157
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:13,056
Now, sisters,
158
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:16,893
let us Sharpie in
the whites of our eyes.
159
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,898
Oh, wow.
160
00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:27,320
"Before passing on
to a new owner,
161
00:07:27,321 --> 00:07:29,656
"crystals should be cleared
of their old energy
162
00:07:29,657 --> 00:07:32,951
with a combination
of water and sulfur."
163
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:35,705
Which is just
what comes out of our tap!
164
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:43,545
The crystals got Kirk a new job.
165
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:44,963
With a uniform!
166
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,257
That's right, I'm a batboy.
167
00:07:48,467 --> 00:07:50,719
Nelson got an "A" on his test!
168
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:54,097
This is going right up on the
refrigerator in the front yard.
169
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:56,601
Marge, we need more crystals.
170
00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:02,105
I'm not even 100% surethese things work.
171
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,357
Should I reallybe selling them?
172
00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:07,694
You know, these just
might make me stop drinking.
173
00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:10,447
I guess I should.
174
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,617
I'm gonna grind 'em up
and snort 'em.
175
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,206
♪ ♪
176
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,626
Marge, another "A"
in my class for Bart.
177
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,795
I'm so impressed that a boy
with Bart's jiggly-wigglies
178
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:28,173
could be cured
by this pagan hogwash.
179
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,425
You can't argue with facts.
180
00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,761
Oh, dear, we're
running low on obsidian.
181
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,846
Almost out of moon potion.
182
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,057
And there's
no more brain powder.
183
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:39,935
I can sell you
brain powder in bulk.
184
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:42,520
Here's whose brain
the powder is from.
185
00:08:42,521 --> 00:08:45,232
It's a cow,
but a very smart one.
186
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,234
Hmm. What else do you sell?
187
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,277
Oh, massage stones,
copper bracelets,
188
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,612
dream catchers,
189
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,697
dream catcher
filter replacements.
190
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,699
This old one is full of dreams.
191
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,660
I don't see anything in it.
192
00:08:56,661 --> 00:09:00,330
Don't you see it? Your dream
of being a massive success?
193
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,915
You see it?
Right there. See it?
194
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,583
- Mm-mmm.
- Right there. See it?
195
00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:06,127
I think I am starting to see it.
196
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:07,837
Are you sure?
Do you really?
197
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:09,130
I see it!
198
00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:10,507
Yeah, okay, bring it down.
199
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,425
Less Oprah, more Chopra.
200
00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:15,595
I see it. I guess
I could expand my product line.
201
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:17,681
Then I can really
start making my own money,
202
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,100
not be dependent on Homer.
203
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:21,978
Did I hear
"not dependent on Homer"?
204
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,021
Boom. Retired.
205
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,856
You should still go in to work.
206
00:09:26,857 --> 00:09:29,359
I don't think I even remember
how to get there.
207
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,194
You were just there today.
208
00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:33,196
Feels like that, doesn't it?
209
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,993
Here at MURMUR,
we have everything
210
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:40,036
a holistic mother might need.
211
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,162
Cactus milk.
212
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,831
Wicker birthing chairs.
213
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:44,291
Fairy traps.
214
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,001
Tibetan singing bowls.
215
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,679
Are these macaroons free-range?
216
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,433
Yes. Only made from coconuts
that fall from the tree
217
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:04,436
or are gently coaxed
by woke monkeys.
218
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:06,521
I'm sorry, Marge,
219
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,189
I'm gonna have to shut you down.
220
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,400
You don't have
a retail business license.
221
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,570
Well, Chief,
do I really need a license
222
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:17,198
to sell that hemp body lotion
Sarah likes so much?
223
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:20,118
And which is free to you?
224
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,536
Ooh, I like it, too!
225
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:23,664
But I'm gonna need
more than that.
226
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,501
Hmm.
227
00:10:28,669 --> 00:10:30,504
Mm... hmm.
228
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,090
Mm.
229
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,259
Oh, Marge!
230
00:10:38,262 --> 00:10:41,515
I've only done this before
with Monopoly money and salami!
231
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,351
Where'd it go?
232
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:46,437
It's all right here, baby.
233
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,191
We made $1,000 today.
234
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,068
What's that
without the cost of goods?
235
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,528
$998.
236
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,238
I love you.
237
00:10:58,699 --> 00:11:00,784
♪ Ain't it beautiful ♪
238
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,744
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
239
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:06,332
♪ Crystal blue persuasion ♪
240
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:15,633
♪ Better get ready ♪
241
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:20,137
♪ Gonna see the light ♪
242
00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:25,141
♪ Love, love is the answer ♪
243
00:11:25,142 --> 00:11:27,477
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
244
00:11:27,478 --> 00:11:29,563
♪ And that's all right ♪
245
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,360
♪ So don't you give up now ♪
246
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,569
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
247
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:39,824
♪ So easy to find ♪
248
00:11:41,992 --> 00:11:44,577
♪ Just look to your soul ♪
249
00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,246
♪ Look to your soul ♪
250
00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:49,291
♪ And open your mind ♪
251
00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,674
♪ ♪
252
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:08,727
Meep...
253
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:16,819
♪ Crystal blue persuasion,mmm. ♪
254
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,364
So, those crystals
255
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,409
must really be uncloggin'
your noggin, huh?
256
00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:27,996
Yep. They're making
math problems like 60 + 63
257
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,664
as easy as 1-2-3.
258
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:32,876
Mm. And what is 60 + 63?
259
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,294
Oh. Um...
260
00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,087
It's 1-2-3!
261
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:38,048
Ay, caramba!
262
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,092
I'll figure out your scam.
263
00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,427
Sorry, Lis,
264
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,763
I can't hear you over the bowl.
265
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:50,226
You won't get away with it!
266
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,978
I will stop you!
267
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:54,314
Because this is not...
268
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,982
Oh, oh.
269
00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,317
Singing bowl,
270
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,777
you are so peaceful.
271
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:03,531
Luann bought $60 worth
272
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,033
of organic blackberries today.
273
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,203
I hope she enjoys both of them.
274
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,538
I need this for shopping.
275
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,374
And this for a rainy day.
276
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:16,670
Do I hear thunder?
277
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,048
Namaste.
278
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,133
We're closed.
279
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:26,012
What part of "namaste"
don't you understand?
280
00:13:26,013 --> 00:13:27,722
I'm gonna need you to can it,
Marge.
281
00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:29,349
My name is Piper Paisley.
282
00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,683
Do I know you?
283
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:33,228
I have a healing beauty
relaxorium in Shelbyville.
284
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,812
Perhaps you've heard of PLOP.
285
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:38,525
Well, it's wonderful
to meet a fellow entrepreneuse.
286
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,693
Is it?
If I wasn't Botoxed as hell,
287
00:13:40,694 --> 00:13:42,696
I'd be frowning
at you right now.
288
00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:47,825
East?
289
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:49,369
That's a solstice stone,
290
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,372
not an equinox stone.
291
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:56,627
Just nama-stay out
of my business.
292
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:05,927
Marge, honey,
you've got to be careful.
293
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,680
She means business.
294
00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:11,182
Oh, look what it says.
295
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,017
This means war.
296
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,852
Marge, don't say that!
297
00:14:14,853 --> 00:14:17,272
I got into this business
because of the kids,
298
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,232
but now I like it.
299
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,608
You know what?
300
00:14:20,609 --> 00:14:23,945
I'm going to open up a kiosk
in the Shelbyville Mall.
301
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,530
On her turf!
302
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,866
♪ ♪
303
00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,664
Ugh!
304
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:36,124
You don't belong there!
305
00:14:36,125 --> 00:14:37,709
What happened
to that hoverboard guy?
306
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:39,795
Marge made me a better offer!
307
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:46,259
You know you can't
do this, right--
308
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,928
build a competing kiosk in the
same escalator dump-out zone?
309
00:14:48,929 --> 00:14:50,096
I mean,
310
00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,431
you can't.
311
00:14:51,432 --> 00:14:54,768
There's no more
law and order in malls.
312
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:57,229
Aah!
313
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,982
You've been living in my kiosk?
314
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,735
If you call that living.
315
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,070
Well, well, Bart, another "A."
316
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:10,408
Looks like I brought
my average up to a "D."
317
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:30,929
Now to test my theory.
318
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,515
Aha!
319
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,601
What the hell are you doing?
320
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:38,353
I know what you did,
Bart Simpson.
321
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:40,355
It's crystal clear.
322
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,607
You hid the Gettysburg Address
323
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,609
in a poster right by your desk,
324
00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,863
which you could read whenMilhouse distracted Flanders.
325
00:15:59,958 --> 00:16:01,501
Pure coincidence.
326
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,003
I put all the times tables
in Newton's wig.
327
00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,465
And look what I hid
in the apple.
328
00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,175
Ew!
329
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,010
You know,
it would have been far easier
330
00:16:11,011 --> 00:16:13,096
just to study and get an "A."
331
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:14,931
Yeah, but what's the point
of that?
332
00:16:14,932 --> 00:16:16,558
I'm telling Dad.
333
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,060
Not today. I got my book club.
334
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,478
A Confederacy of Dunces.
335
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:21,896
Ooh, is that the book?
336
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:22,939
No, that's who's coming:
337
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:25,358
Lenny, Carl, Barney, Moe.
338
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,236
The book we read was, uh, TheGirl with the Dragon Something.
339
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,363
- I didn't get through the title.
- Yeah, me neither.
340
00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,700
It was just as boring as TinkerTailor Something Something.
341
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:34,992
Well, cancel the book club,
342
00:16:34,993 --> 00:16:37,829
'cause Bart has something
he has to tell Mom.
343
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,414
Why?
344
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,791
You don't realize
how bad this is, do you?
345
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:45,586
You betrayed the one person
who still believes in you.
346
00:16:45,587 --> 00:16:46,671
The dog believes in me.
347
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,423
Ruh-ruh.
348
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,924
Don't you get it?
349
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,510
Who's the person that's
always there when you need it?
350
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,639
♪ I'll always love my mama ♪
351
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:59,184
♪ She's my favorite girl ♪
352
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:03,813
♪ I'll always love my mama. ♪
353
00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,231
Oh, my God.
354
00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:06,816
She's shown me nothing but love.
355
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,693
How do I make this guilt
go away?
356
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:09,986
Tell her the truth.
357
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,529
No, that's not it.
Keep pitching.
358
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:12,530
No, that is it!
359
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,740
Oh, fine!
360
00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:15,616
Now, looky here.
361
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:18,036
I learned Swedish
to read this here book,
362
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:21,330
and we are gonna discuss it.
363
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,458
Nordic noir is known
for its plain language
364
00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:25,084
and absence of metaphors.
365
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:26,377
Dig deeper.
366
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,754
The novel reflects,
367
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,464
implicitly and explicitly,
gaps between rhetoric
368
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,923
and practice in Swedish policy.
369
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:33,885
That'll do nicely.
370
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,137
Who wants cake?
371
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:39,808
I said, who wants cake?
372
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:45,396
Our day of kiosk combat begins.
373
00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:49,066
My sisters abuse
Piper's free sample policy.
374
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:53,029
Mmm. I smell like the smoking
area of a nice resort.
375
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,989
Schmear me like a bagel.
376
00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,326
Now, phase two.
377
00:17:58,327 --> 00:18:01,370
The one force no kiosk
can withstand:
378
00:18:01,371 --> 00:18:03,539
a confused old person.
379
00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,249
Somewhere in me is a yoni egg.
380
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:06,709
I think it might be hatching.
381
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,377
Uh, they don't hatch.
382
00:18:08,378 --> 00:18:10,714
Can you take that chance?
383
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:15,927
Mom, I'm sorry.
384
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,095
I wasn't getting As
because of the crystals.
385
00:18:18,096 --> 00:18:19,722
I lied.
386
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:21,809
♪ ♪
387
00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,562
This crystal don't work!
388
00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:28,564
Nelson got detention,
389
00:18:28,565 --> 00:18:32,777
and I got demoted
from stripper to topless valet.
390
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,113
Kirk crawled over these
and made his way to me.
391
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,531
Three times.
392
00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,369
One last thing to do.
393
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,372
That's not the egg
I was thinking of.
394
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,040
Keep looking.
395
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:48,459
Stop, stop. Piper, stop.
396
00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,002
You win.
397
00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,963
I don't belong in this mall
398
00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:55,133
with all these
legitimate businesses.
399
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,386
I win!
400
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,054
I win. Me.
401
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:02,098
I'm sorry, I'm just...
I'm very competitive.
402
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:03,766
Have you tried rose quartz?
403
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:06,269
Let me ask you something.
Do I look like an idiot?
404
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,437
Ooh, I love your handbag.
405
00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:09,856
Well, thank you.
406
00:19:09,857 --> 00:19:12,025
No prob, babe. I win.
407
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:21,158
Marge, honey,
I'm glad you're home.
408
00:19:21,159 --> 00:19:22,618
I've been thinking.
409
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:26,163
I want to be more than
just Mr. Mrs. Homer Simpson.
410
00:19:26,164 --> 00:19:27,790
I want to get a job.
411
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,458
You have a job.
412
00:19:29,459 --> 00:19:32,044
I know. Raising the kids
and looking fabulous.
413
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,462
But I thought it would be nice
414
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,798
to have somewhere to go
every day.
415
00:19:35,799 --> 00:19:37,425
You work at the power plant.
416
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,261
They call every morning and say,
"Where are you?"
417
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:41,554
So you're not mad?
418
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,389
Oh, I love you! Mwah!
419
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,765
Thank you for understanding.
420
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:46,226
Oh...
421
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,028
Excuse me.
422
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,196
I have a friend I think is here.
423
00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:01,991
Um, I just wanted
to make sure she's okay.
424
00:20:01,992 --> 00:20:03,993
Marge. Good to see you.
425
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,078
But, really, not necessary.
426
00:20:06,079 --> 00:20:07,788
Because everything here is...
427
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,124
Run! Run!
428
00:20:10,125 --> 00:20:12,585
What's happening here?!
429
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:14,253
I thought you were just
getting massages!
430
00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:15,630
Those were good.
431
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:17,424
But the other stuff is...
432
00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,427
Blow up the bridge.
433
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,103
Shh!
434
00:21:14,022 --> 00:21:15,983
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