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1
00:00:02,136 --> 00:00:02,266
.
2
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:03,103
- Five bucks says
Best Actor or Actress
3
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,508
dedicates their
Golden Globe to the troops.
4
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,640
- I'll bet you ten someone
rolls their R too hard
5
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,306
talking about a foreign film.
6
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,454
- Five bucks says they cut to
the wrong person of color
7
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:13,510
at least twice.
8
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:15,047
- Where are
we watching this year?
9
00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:16,523
- Jerusha's ovulating,
10
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,050
so we'll probably just have
it on in the background
11
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,147
on a TV on a dresser.
12
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,458
[all groan]
13
00:00:21,489 --> 00:00:23,259
- If anyone wants
to come to the hospital,
14
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:24,761
I'll be watching with Jerry.
- Pass.
15
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,292
- Guys, what are
you talking about?
16
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,127
We're going to do it
at my place, like always.
17
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:30,602
- Mm...
- You're doing it this year?
18
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:34,171
- Uh, yeah, why wouldn't I?
[all stammer]
19
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,802
- You don't have to.
- That's unnecessary.
20
00:00:35,836 --> 00:00:37,366
- I think
everybody just thought
21
00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:39,135
you weren't going to
have the party this year,
22
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:40,813
you know, with your
marriage croaking and all.
23
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:45,611
- What? I am perfectly capable
of throwing a party by myself.
24
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,816
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
25
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:49,778
- I am!
26
00:00:49,817 --> 00:00:51,187
You guys,
it's going to be great.
27
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,619
I'm going to barbecue.
28
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:55,163
- You know, Adam was kind of
the barbecue guy, right?
29
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:56,289
I mean, that brisket?
30
00:00:56,324 --> 00:00:58,664
- So smoky.
- That sauce?
31
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,592
- I know where to get
the sauce--that's easy.
32
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,758
- You really
don't have to do this.
33
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,296
- You can host
a party next year,
34
00:01:04,332 --> 00:01:05,632
when your life
isn't in shambles.
35
00:01:05,666 --> 00:01:07,866
- You guys, my life
is not in shambles.
36
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,841
- He didn't mean shambles.
37
00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,110
He meant your life
has fallen to pieces.
38
00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,380
- What do you think
shambles are? They're pieces.
39
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,638
- Shambles implies more of
a disaster-wreckage situation.
40
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,847
- Um, I'll tell you
who deserves an award
41
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,849
for "Life Least in Shambles".
42
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:22,181
- Oh, Rooney Mara.
43
00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:23,776
- Yes.
- She is killing it.
44
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:26,187
- Yes, love her. Also, me.
45
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:28,320
- Guys, Rooney Mara's family
owns two NFL teams.
46
00:01:28,356 --> 00:01:29,756
She was born on third base.
47
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:31,430
- That's baseball.
- I know sports!
48
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:36,329
- I've got it! Tatters.
Amy's life is in tatters.
49
00:01:36,364 --> 00:01:39,474
[upbeat music]
50
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,240
*
51
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:43,499
[doorbell rings]
52
00:01:49,310 --> 00:01:52,910
- Oh, Dina.
You're three hours early.
53
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:54,746
- Yeah. I came
to help you set up.
54
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:55,922
It's what best friends do.
55
00:01:55,949 --> 00:01:58,689
- Oh! We're best friends.
- Yeah!
56
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,219
Well, I mean, I'm yours.
You're my number four.
57
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,285
And technically,
I count twins as one person.
58
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,734
- Come on in.
59
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:08,198
- Oof, guess we are going to
have to prioritize this.
60
00:02:08,229 --> 00:02:09,599
Why don't you tackle
the walls?
61
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,630
And I'll try to do something
about that smell.
62
00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:13,765
Where's the white vinegar
and ammonia kept?
63
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,241
- There's no smell.
It smells like a regular house.
64
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:17,510
- This is classic us.
65
00:02:17,538 --> 00:02:19,438
I try to improve you,
you fight it.
66
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,783
Ultimately, you submit
and are better for it.
67
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,650
I also wouldn't wear this.
68
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:27,618
- Yeah, no, I'm not wearing
sweats to my party.
69
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,548
- Great! We are going
to make a swan out of you yet.
70
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:34,324
[pats back]
Okay, why don't you go change?
71
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,585
And I will do
a quick vibrator sweep.
72
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,732
- Ugh, I'm overdressed.
73
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:46,474
I thought going to
a Golden Globes party was like,
74
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,670
you dress
for the Golden Globes.
75
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,402
- I think you look nice.
76
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:51,868
- I'm just nervous, you know?
77
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,275
I mean, I feel like I'm still
not part of the group.
78
00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:56,638
- No, no,
you're part of the group.
79
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,207
It's like if this
was the Scooby Doo gang,
80
00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:00,877
you would be Scrappy Doo--
81
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,754
a late addition,
but everybody loved him.
82
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,924
- Everyone hated Scrappy Doo.
83
00:03:05,953 --> 00:03:07,323
He only got
to hang out with them
84
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,285
because he was
related to Scooby.
85
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:13,293
- Whoa, somebody's overdressed.
86
00:03:13,327 --> 00:03:16,597
I've seen less sparkles
at a pride parade.
87
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,330
- Did you notice?
88
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,596
[whispering] All the photos
of Adam are gone.
89
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,474
- Yeah, creepy.
90
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,473
- Everyone
enjoying themselves?
91
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:27,575
Party pretty
shambles-free so far?
92
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:29,508
- [chuckles] It's fine.
- Yeah, it's cool.
93
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,713
- What are you drinking?
- I'm having a rum and coke.
94
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,475
- Ah-ah! I don't think
that's what it's called.
95
00:03:37,618 --> 00:03:39,518
- I'm having
a Master of Rum.
96
00:03:39,553 --> 00:03:42,523
- There you go!
Master of Rum! Ha!
97
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,556
I'm going to go fill up
my Handmaid's Ale.
98
00:03:45,593 --> 00:03:49,463
- [laughs]
That's a clever name.
99
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:52,627
[rap music playing
over car stereo]
100
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:58,336
*
101
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:02,312
[crash, car alarm blaring]
- Oh!
102
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,746
Ooh!
103
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:08,618
- Amy!
- Glenn! Jerusha! I'm so glad--
104
00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:11,489
- Amy, so sorry
to hear about Adam.
105
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:14,359
- Oh, it's okay. It's fine.
It's great, actually.
106
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,458
- You know, sometimes
when you aren't happy,
107
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,890
it's better to be divorced
than to stay in the marriage.
108
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,586
- Yeah, that's why we--
109
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,798
- A lot of people are happier
after they get divorced
110
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,500
than when they were married.
111
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:26,432
- Yeah, no, I know--
- Like Jennifer Lopez.
112
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,497
- I read an article.
- I read it, too.
113
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:31,737
- I read it, then he read it.
- Totally.
114
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:36,082
Yeah, that's very interesting.
- Oh, I made you...
115
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,079
a hummingbird.
116
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,811
- Wow.
- Jerusha has a knack
117
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:43,547
for finding the perfect animal
for anybody's personality.
118
00:04:43,584 --> 00:04:47,054
- I do, I do.
- I'm a Labrador.
119
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:48,687
- Well, thank you.
Thanks.
120
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:53,592
I am going to put that where
people put things like this.
121
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,727
- Unfortunately,
we can't stay long,
122
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:59,533
'cause we have to go home
early to... make a baby.
123
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:02,767
- Well, we're going to try,
Together, the two of us,
124
00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,643
with his, in my--
125
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,672
- Jerusha.
126
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,810
- * Let's get real,
let's get heavy *
127
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:16,446
* Till the water breaks
the levy, let's get loose. *
128
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:17,624
- Oh, my God,
you know who I saw
129
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,951
at the gas station
the other day?
130
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,416
- Who?
- Mustard man.
131
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,794
- No!
- [snooty voice] How was he?
132
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,733
- [snooty voice]
Yes, was he pumping petrol?
133
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,599
- [snooty voice] Where might
I find the ah-loo-minium?
134
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:31,969
- [snooty voice]
Right next to the vit-ah-mins.
135
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,369
- [laughing] Who is this?
136
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,601
- Uh, it was
from before you started.
137
00:05:35,636 --> 00:05:37,636
It was this guy that used
to come in all the time.
138
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,541
- And--and he liked mustard?
139
00:05:40,574 --> 00:05:42,514
- [mockingly]
And he liked mustard?
140
00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:44,953
Are you making fun of us?
- Oh, no.
141
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:48,978
- No, he was just, like, um,
this, like, old, fancy guy.
142
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,986
You know, like from
the Grey Poupon commercials.
143
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,449
- [snooty voice]
Uh, pardon me,
144
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:56,717
but do you have
any bags of mulch?
145
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,587
- He sounded
exactly like that.
146
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,486
- I don't think
I've seen that commercial.
147
00:06:00,528 --> 00:06:02,728
- Yeah, yeah, you have.
It's from the '90s.
148
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,073
The Grey Poupon commercial.
- Mm-mm.
149
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:07,738
- How have you never seen
the Grey Poupon commercial?
150
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:11,738
- I don't know.
But it sounds funny.
151
00:06:11,772 --> 00:06:14,882
[laughs awkwardly]
- It wasn't.
152
00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:16,038
- [sighs]
153
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,506
- It wasn't.
154
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:22,417
- [exhales sharply]
155
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:26,615
Oh, no.
156
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:29,788
No.
157
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:35,600
- So it took all three frogs
to say "Budweiser"?
158
00:06:35,629 --> 00:06:38,769
- The sounds they
made together was "Budweiser."
159
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:40,599
It wasn't that
they were saying it.
160
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,874
Those were just the sounds
that they made as frogs.
161
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:44,913
I-I don't know how to explain
any more, okay?
162
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:46,508
But people in America
163
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:47,780
thought it was pretty darn
impressive, so...
164
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,108
- It was, like,
a really big commercial.
165
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,912
- Is this like
a "Mannequin" situation?
166
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:54,924
- Um, hey. Jonah, could I get
your help for a minute?
167
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:58,688
- Uh, yeah, sure.
Um, I'll be right back.
168
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,791
- [wacky voice]
Whassup?
169
00:07:02,823 --> 00:07:05,193
- Whassup?
- Whassup?
170
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,125
- You remember that one.
- Oh, yeah.
171
00:07:08,161 --> 00:07:09,861
- Right?
172
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:14,538
- So I put the food
on the grill three hours ago.
173
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:17,938
Turns out there was nothing
in the propane tank, so...
174
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:21,141
- Mm. We could present it
as tartare?
175
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,914
Okay, relax. You're putting
too much pressure on the food.
176
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,684
People aren't here
to eat barbecue.
177
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,853
They're here to hang out
and watch the Globes.
178
00:07:27,881 --> 00:07:30,681
- Yeah, yeah.
Okay. Yeah, you're right.
179
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:39,186
.
180
00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:39,586
- No.
- No.
181
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:41,798
- I don't get it.
182
00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:42,929
Why do you have
all these remotes
183
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,203
that do absolutely nothing?
184
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:45,831
I mean, this is
a straight-up calculator.
185
00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,096
- Oh!
- You have another calculator.
186
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,674
You have
a third calculator in here.
187
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:49,942
- I mean, they're useful.
188
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,200
- Hey, have
you tried unplugging it
189
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,938
and then plugging
it back in?
190
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,643
That always worked on
my aunt's breathing machine.
191
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,036
- Why don't you
just call Adam?
192
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,007
- I'm not going
to call up my ex and ask him,
193
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:01,676
"How do I turn on the TV?"
That would be weird.
194
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:04,015
- It could be the thing
that brings you back together.
195
00:08:04,051 --> 00:08:05,821
Men love a woman in need.
196
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:09,123
When Glenn and I were dating,
I faked a lot of heart attacks.
197
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,986
- [laughs] "Oh, my God,
don't die, don't die."
198
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,525
- That's how
we got to first base.
199
00:08:13,561 --> 00:08:15,001
- Oh, my God,
I can't even with this.
200
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:16,228
Okay, I'm going
to go watch it at home.
201
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,773
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
Please stay.
202
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:21,769
Emma knows how to fix the TV.
I'll just call her real quick.
203
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:23,702
Nobody go anywhere.
204
00:08:23,737 --> 00:08:25,807
- Oh, Amy, you remember Jerry.
205
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,579
- Uh, yeah. Jerry, hi.
You made it.
206
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:32,050
- It's his first time out
since the coma, so...
207
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,509
Say hi, Jerry.
208
00:08:37,951 --> 00:08:41,991
Just give him one second.
He's got it.
209
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:43,992
- Hi, Jerry.
[Sandra laughs]
210
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:46,734
- Oh.
- I heard "Amy."
211
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:47,960
[giggles]
Good job!
212
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,595
- Great.
- That's really good.
213
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,000
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
214
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,331
He's doing good.
That was really good.
215
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,136
[car alarm blaring]
- We're doing this.
216
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:59,068
We can park this car.
217
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:04,144
- Yes. Crank it--Oh.
218
00:09:04,177 --> 00:09:06,977
Okay, one more time,
one more time.
219
00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:08,624
- People are getting antsy.
220
00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:10,319
Maybe we should
just order pizza--
221
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,050
- No, we're not
ordering pizza.
222
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,685
I can't have the TV not work
and not do the barbecue.
223
00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,591
That plays right
into this "shambles" narrative.
224
00:09:15,623 --> 00:09:17,863
- And we're just pretending
your life is fine?
225
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,231
- Yes. I mean, it is.
226
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,889
- That was good,
I believed that.
227
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,628
- Okay, I'm just going
to microwave it.
228
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,634
- Oh, no, no, no, no
- I don't think that's--
229
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,336
That's probably not going
to be very appetizing.
230
00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,668
- It's fine,
we'll just put sauce on it.
231
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,774
- How thick is the sauce?
232
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,136
- Who are you wearing?
233
00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:38,106
- Oh, I don't know.
[chuckles]
234
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,675
I can check the label.
235
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,923
- It doesn't matter.
I don't know designers.
236
00:09:41,949 --> 00:09:44,219
- I'm Jerusha.
- Kelly.
237
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:46,321
I feel like I overdressed.
238
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:48,063
- When I saw you
across the room,
239
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,788
I thought
you were a prostitute.
240
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,294
That's a compliment.
241
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:54,655
- Oh, thank you.
242
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:56,625
- You're welcome.
243
00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:01,325
I'm going to
make you...
244
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,598
a squirrel.
245
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:08,176
Some people think squirrels
are just rats, but they're not.
246
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,938
- Ok--
247
00:10:09,977 --> 00:10:13,077
It was nice talking to you.
248
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,123
- The reception
in this area is horrible.
249
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,378
- Must be
the old magnet factory.
250
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:19,347
- Oh, okay.
- I hope everyone's hungry,
251
00:10:19,386 --> 00:10:21,216
'cause the meat
looks real meaty.
252
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:22,964
- Hey, Amy,
what's your Wi-Fi password?
253
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,120
- Oh, um, I don't know it.
254
00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,427
- You don't know
your own password?
255
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,698
- No, because
Adam made the password,
256
00:10:27,728 --> 00:10:28,958
and I can't remember it,
257
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:30,356
and you have to have
a password to get online
258
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,097
to change the password,
and I don't have the password,
259
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:33,332
so I can't do that.
- Ugh, you know what?
260
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,236
We should
just all go to P.F. Chang's
261
00:10:35,268 --> 00:10:36,998
and watch it there.
- No, no, no!
262
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,367
No, then you're going to miss
263
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:40,905
all my snarky comments
about the dresses.
264
00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:42,381
- Oh, you mean when you say
the person just looks like
265
00:10:42,409 --> 00:10:44,279
whatever fruit
the color of the dress is?
266
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,751
- Remember, last time, when
Natalie Portman looked like
267
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,050
a sexy banana, and I was like,
268
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,251
"Girl, go on
with your banana self"?
269
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:54,153
[laughs]
- [laughs] Let's go.
270
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,317
* You can do it,
put your back into it. *
271
00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,686
* You can do it,
put your [smack] into it. *
272
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:01,426
* You can do it,
put your back in to it. *
273
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,226
- Wait.
What--No, what is that?
274
00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:06,695
- Hmm?
- What are you doing?
275
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:08,144
- We got to go...
right now. Sorry.
276
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,768
- No, no, no,
dinner's almost ready.
277
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,743
- Oh, yeah, no, it's
a great Golden Globes party.
278
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,343
Thank you. And it's going
to be even better
279
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,184
when you get the food
and the Golden Globes on.
280
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:17,809
- No, but once you leave,
281
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,445
then everyone else is going
to think it's okay to leave.
282
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,349
- Yeah, I know, but
Jerusha is ovulating right now.
283
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,892
Amy, I don't know how
many good eggs she has left,
284
00:11:24,918 --> 00:11:28,858
you know, what, with her age
and all that line dancing.
285
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,059
I'm sorry.
286
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,160
- No.
287
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,892
Do it here.
288
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,827
- What?
- Do it here.
289
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:39,073
- I-I couldn't.
- Yes, you can. Why not?
290
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,369
Please, Glenn, please.
291
00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,401
If you've ever cared
about me ever,
292
00:11:43,436 --> 00:11:46,236
then go have sex on my bed...
293
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,448
As many times as you want.
294
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,479
- [breathes heavily]
295
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,749
- How about a game, huh?
296
00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,745
Who wants to play
Crazy Scabies?
297
00:12:00,788 --> 00:12:01,788
Floor Shorts?
298
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:03,162
I guess there
is enough of us,
299
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,360
we could play
Hassle the Fishmonger,
300
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:06,191
but we'd have
to move the couch.
301
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:08,856
- Yeah, no one's ever heard
of any of those games.
302
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:11,196
- Seriously? None of you?
303
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,831
Well, what did you do as kids
304
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,796
when your mom was out
with the men from the bank?
305
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:19,065
- Hey, guys, Kelly knows a game
that she can teach everybody.
306
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:21,466
What we played
at your sister's.
307
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,478
- Oh, yeah.
308
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,480
Okay.
[chuckles]
309
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:30,122
All right,
so the game is called Answers.
310
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,320
And you can only ask questions,
311
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,922
or you can only reply
with questions.
312
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:39,125
Now, if you answer a question
or you question an answer,
313
00:12:39,159 --> 00:12:40,529
then you lose points.
314
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,430
And you can only make it
to the next round
315
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:45,832
once everybody has put
in their bid or an overture--
316
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,326
- You know what?
317
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,437
Actually, we could just maybe
start playing the game,
318
00:12:49,469 --> 00:12:51,439
and everybody
will get it as we go.
319
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,941
- I'm already annoyed.
Is that part of the game?
320
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:58,811
.
321
00:12:58,846 --> 00:12:59,646
- Oh, boy, and now Elias
gets three points
322
00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:02,118
because he located
the conductor!
323
00:13:02,149 --> 00:13:03,479
- I thought
I was the conductor.
324
00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:05,316
- No, no! Ahh!
You gave it away.
325
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:06,592
- Oh, that was a secret?
326
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,319
- Does anyone
understand this game?
327
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:10,815
- Two questions in a row,
I call Founder. Triple Bridge.
328
00:13:10,858 --> 00:13:12,228
- Jerry gets it.
329
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,259
- Okay, but why
am I holding hands with Brett?
330
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,434
- I don't know.
I didn't ask you to do that.
331
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:18,003
- This is fun.
This game is fun.
332
00:13:18,031 --> 00:13:20,071
This party is fun.
Fun game, fun party.
333
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:23,170
- Fun everything!
Everything is fun now.
334
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,073
It's still fun,
because it was fun before.
335
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,865
- We could
still play Floor Shorts.
336
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:29,137
All I need is 14 pairs
of shorts and a 12-sided die.
337
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,276
- Okay, I came here
to watch the Globes,
338
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,381
not sit around starving in some
sad, divorced woman's house.
339
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:35,624
Brett, let go of my hand!
340
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,148
- Guys, if we
take off right now,
341
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,594
we can still get spots
at the Chang's bar
342
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,118
before the dads
on dates get there.
343
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,893
- Thank you.
- No, no, no. No, no, no, no.
344
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,493
Emma's going to be here
in, like, five minutes.
345
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,964
She's going to fix the TV.
346
00:13:45,993 --> 00:13:47,293
And also,
the food's almost ready.
347
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,027
And the food is going to be,
like, so good.
348
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,973
Like, P.F. Chang's
"get out of here" good.
349
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,099
- Chang's level?
Come on, girl.
350
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,574
- Nobody move!
351
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,442
Sit the [bleep] down!
352
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,510
Garrett, wheel it back in!
353
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,539
Now, we all committed
to coming here and having fun!
354
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,475
So we are going to have fun!
355
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:08,921
Stop complaining, and start
enjoying yourselves right now!
356
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:13,117
It's a great time.
357
00:14:13,686 --> 00:14:17,056
[thumping]
358
00:14:18,926 --> 00:14:20,886
[rap music playing
over car stereo]
359
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,998
[horn honks]
360
00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:26,900
- [crying] Just go around!
361
00:14:26,934 --> 00:14:30,304
I'm trying to park my car.
362
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:34,167
I don't even care. I didn't
want to go to the party.
363
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,237
- This is like
a hostage situation.
364
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:38,276
I mean, we can't leave.
They're denying us food.
365
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,151
- Not allowed
to watch the Golden Globes.
366
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:41,920
- I hope they're done
before Emma gets here.
367
00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,919
- Emma's not coming!
She never was.
368
00:14:43,951 --> 00:14:45,251
We're on our own.
369
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,085
- Can someone please
just start talking?
370
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,560
I don't care what it is--
it could be literally anything,
371
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,289
just as long as it's
at a raised volume.
372
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,694
That would be ideal.
373
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:54,425
[thumping]
374
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:57,561
- I met God.
375
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:01,097
- Okay.
- Black guy.
376
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,713
[objects clattering]
- Okay.
377
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:09,579
Okay, that looks good, right?
378
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,539
- [shuddering] Oh, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
379
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,648
- Oh, yeah.
380
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,015
VoilĂ .
- Pulls it all together.
381
00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:18,620
- Yeah, that's what it needed.
382
00:15:18,651 --> 00:15:23,191
[Jerusha giggling]
383
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:25,593
- Hey, gang.
With Jerusha's help,
384
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,995
I was able to fix
the broken table
385
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,658
in, um, the bedroom there.
386
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:34,026
- It was broken.
It was the front left leg.
387
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,997
- Yeah. It was
a two-person job,
388
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,566
so the two--
the two of us did it.
389
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,335
- We did it, together.
390
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:45,213
It was a big solid oak leg.
391
00:15:45,245 --> 00:15:46,745
So...
392
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:53,519
[upbeat rock music playing]
393
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,123
- Father God, we thank You
394
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,085
for this meal
we're about to enjoy.
395
00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,094
We ask You to bless
it with Your light.
396
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,657
Father God, we pray that all
our efforts are rewarded
397
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:07,665
and that this food replenishes
our spent and tired bodies.
398
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,370
Amen
- Amen.
399
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,642
- Father God.
- That was beautiful, Jerusha!
400
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:13,311
- Yeah, nice and tight.
401
00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:17,510
- Okay, great. Well, who is
ready for some B-B-Q?
402
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:20,784
all: Yeah...oh.
403
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,653
- Don't be shy.
I know you guys are starving.
404
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,222
So dig in. Garrett?
405
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:28,392
Uh, what, me?
Wow, thank you.
406
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,161
Um, I am so hungry, I am.
407
00:16:31,191 --> 00:16:33,591
But I am going
to start with the bread.
408
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:38,366
- This coleslaw looks yummy.
- Yeah, coleslaw, me too!
409
00:16:38,398 --> 00:16:42,168
- Great. Uh, meat, anyone?
Sandra, would you like a rib?
410
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,372
Um, brisket?
Some--bawk-bawk--chicken?
411
00:16:44,404 --> 00:16:46,814
- I filled up
on water before I came.
412
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,579
Ugh, always do that.
413
00:16:48,608 --> 00:16:50,238
- Well, I can't wait,
414
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,647
because this is the best sauce
in all of St. Louis.
415
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:58,150
I was surprised they had any,
usually they're sold out, so...
416
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,745
Mmm!
417
00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:03,787
That sauce is...
418
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:07,593
The more you chew,
the better it is.
419
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:09,827
Anybody want any meat?
420
00:17:09,862 --> 00:17:12,772
Nobody? Really? Nobody?
421
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,829
Nobody wants meat?
422
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,397
- I'll take some.
423
00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:17,196
- Aren't you vegan?
424
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,407
- Uh, yeah, just
for, like, 20 years.
425
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:22,539
But when I see meat
that looks that delicious,
426
00:17:22,575 --> 00:17:24,205
I have to make an exception.
427
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,214
- No, Dina,
you don't have to eat that.
428
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:28,446
- Ugh.
- Oh, yeah.
429
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:30,381
I guess this is what
he used to stand on.
430
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,587
They just took off
the little foot.
431
00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:36,190
I'm going to eat a bird now.
432
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,833
I'm going to eat
a bird now.
433
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,529
I'm gonna--
434
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,701
[all groan]
435
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:47,530
- Wow, but is it worth it
for that taste!
436
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:53,139
.
437
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:53,743
[toilet flushing]
- Dina?
438
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,377
Are you okay in there?
- I'm fine!
439
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:01,350
Just, um, save some
of that sinewy meat,
440
00:18:01,381 --> 00:18:03,751
'cause I'm going
to want round two.
441
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,323
- [sighs]
442
00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:09,492
- [sighs] Guys, look,
this party is a bust.
443
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:13,532
You guys were right.
My--my life is--is in shambles.
444
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,400
- Aw, sweetie.
445
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:16,528
Of course it is.
446
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,903
- Hey, come on,
y-you're overreacting.
447
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,871
So dinner was
a little messed up,
448
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,500
and the TV doesn't work.
449
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,635
- At a party where the two
things you're supposed to do
450
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,141
is eat dinner and watch TV.
451
00:18:26,173 --> 00:18:27,513
- Okay, yeah,
but, you know,
452
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,210
it's not like somebody died
or something.
453
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:31,843
- That's how you judge
the success of a party--
454
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,508
no fatalities.
455
00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,216
- Two people died at my prom.
We had it on a boat.
456
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,619
It was really sad.
457
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,590
- And yet you kept the dress.
458
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:40,649
- [exhales sharply]
459
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,257
- Just give yourself a break.
460
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,789
You've never been
on your own before.
461
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,734
It takes some getting used to.
462
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:48,259
- Yeah, it's like,
463
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:50,255
Jerry basically had
to relearn everything.
464
00:18:50,297 --> 00:18:51,797
He thought it would
never get any better,
465
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:55,571
but he already knows the
difference between wet and dry.
466
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:58,212
- [gasps] See? You're going
to be just fine.
467
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:00,538
- A woman from
my church got divorced
468
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,513
because she married
a man from Facebook.
469
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:04,582
It turns out
he was already married
470
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:08,251
to several other women
and one man from Singapore.
471
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:10,281
Took all her money.
It was on "Dateline."
472
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:12,887
At least
you're not on "Dateline."
473
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:14,349
- [sighs] Yeah.
474
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:15,657
- Hey, Amy.
475
00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:18,688
I'd say something supportive
'cause you're my friend,
476
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:19,955
but that's not what I do.
477
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,602
- I understand.
478
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,829
Bye.
- Bye.
479
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:27,374
- Sorry about the--everything.
- It's--
480
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,840
- Thank you for having us.
481
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:30,468
- We're going
to wash your sheets.
482
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,973
It's just something
we like to do after parties.
483
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,965
- Keep them.
- [giggles]
484
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:37,877
- [sighs]
Do you want to go to Chang's?
485
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,650
We can watch the losers
give drunken interviews
486
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:40,709
at the after-parties.
487
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,517
- Mm. Want to come?
488
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:46,690
Kelly, you want to come?
489
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:48,859
- Oh, I thought you were--
Am I invited?
490
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:52,428
- Yeah, that's why I said,
"Kelly, you want to come?"
491
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:55,659
- I would love that.
Thanks.
492
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,295
- Uh, hey...
493
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,000
[clears throat] You guys want
to hit up Chang's?
494
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,501
The whole gang's going.
You feel like coming?
495
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:08,814
- Oh, um, no, I-I got
a lot of meat to eat,
496
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,741
and, I, um--
I got to clean up and...
497
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:13,308
- You sure?
- Yeah.
498
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:16,616
- Um, pro tip--
throw the microwave away.
499
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,989
- Yeah, I'm thinking
I'm just going to move.
500
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:22,859
- [laughs]
We should do this more often.
501
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,789
- Yeah, next weekend,
same chicken.
502
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:27,655
- Hey.
- Hi.
503
00:20:27,694 --> 00:20:30,564
- Garrett was like,
"Kelly, you coming?"
504
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:35,397
- Oh, see? Scrappy Doo!
- [laughs]
505
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:40,865
- * Love hurts,
love scars *
506
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:44,737
* Love wounds...
507
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,579
- The Globes may be over,
508
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:49,975
but the party
is just getting started.
509
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,646
- Yes!
- From the snubs
510
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,054
to the OMG moments,
we've got you covered.
511
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:55,886
Stay tuned
for exclusive interviews--
512
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:57,592
- Hey, you're still here.
- Yeah.
513
00:20:57,624 --> 00:20:59,394
- Did you take a shower?
514
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,826
- Oh, trust me, you would not
have wanted me to take a bath.
515
00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,801
- With some people
tweeting #Racist.
516
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:06,730
- Hey, you fixed it! Look who's
crawling out of rock bottom.
517
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,536
- Let's see
what she has to say
518
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:09,938
about taking home a trophy.
519
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,999
- Hey, thank you
for trying to help me.
520
00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:13,838
- It's what I do.
521
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,043
- How did it feel to be up
on that stage there tonight?
522
00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:19,545
- I'm going to need
to borrow some bottoms...
523
00:21:19,579 --> 00:21:22,009
also some tops.
38849
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