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1
00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,569
What am I suppose to wear to your
wedding? The invitation just says,
2
00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,039
"Not basic."
3
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,340
- You know, not basic.
4
00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,509
I don't know how to explain it
more than that.
5
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,010
- Yeah, like,
Adam's wearing a gray suit.
6
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,080
- Mm, I mean,
that's, like, semi-basic,
7
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,749
but you guys are old.
8
00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:19,350
- I didn't know
you were bringing Adam.
9
00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,489
- Yeah, I thought
your marriage was, like,
10
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,227
- No, it's fine.
11
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,228
We... we're just...
We're in couples counseling,
12
00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,498
and it's fine, and, please,
nobody be weird around him.
13
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,229
Okay?
- No...
14
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,101
I'm, like, super cazh.
15
00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,602
- And, please,
nobody say "super cazh,"
16
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,371
like, as a life rule.
17
00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,106
- Well, personally,
I'm gonna wear a polo dress.
18
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:43,237
All right? It's simple,
beautiful, elegant...
19
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,511
Oh, but then again,
I do have one
20
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,112
of Nancy Pelosi's old pantsuits.
21
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,247
I won it at an auction.
22
00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,508
Do you think
that would be better?
23
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,516
- I'm actually just wearing
my bridesmaid's dress.
24
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:51,778
- You asked Amy
to be a bridesmaid,
25
00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,246
but you didn't ask me?
26
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,788
- What? Ohhh!
27
00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:57,357
Uhhh...
28
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,618
Yah!
- I get it.
29
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,356
I just kind of always wanted
to be a bridesmaid, and I...
30
00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,363
I don't know if I'll ever get
another chance.
31
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,355
I mean...
32
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,096
my sister's just so ugly.
33
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,369
- All right, Dina...
34
00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,570
you can be a bridesmaid.
35
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,206
- Yes! Oh!
36
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,607
You will not regret this.
37
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,608
Okay, I'm gonna need to see
my dress asap,
38
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,610
in case I want to change
the cut or the color.
39
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,590
- Does this sound fancy to you?
40
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,228
- Nah, just sounds like gold
clinking up against crystal.
41
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,496
- What?
42
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:39,227
Those are two
of the most expensive things!
43
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:43,369
I just got something from the
"lost and found" bin at work.
44
00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,238
- I don't want
people spending money
45
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:48,469
they might not have tomorrow.
46
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,876
Corporate is making me
lay off six people.
47
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,208
- Whoa.
There's gonna be layoffs?
48
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,481
I don't want anyone to know.
49
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,582
- Okay, well,
they're gonna find out
50
00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,217
when the paychecks stop coming.
51
00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:58,878
- I'll tell them tomorrow.
- Mm.
52
00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,546
- Cheyenne's wedding
should be a day of joy...
53
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,155
that people
look back on and say,
54
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,157
"I was happy that day.
55
00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,559
That was the last day
I was happy."
56
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,429
- You look fine.
- Yeah? Fine?
57
00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,660
- Yeah, fine.
Yeah, good, like...
58
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,864
Like you always do.
59
00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,126
Nice, you look nice.
- Thanks.
60
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,234
You too.
61
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,625
I feel like everyone
is looking at us.
62
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,266
Adam, nobody's looking at us.
63
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,272
- Adam!
64
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,273
Sorry. Adam.
65
00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,541
Hey!
66
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,642
- You know what? Come on,
let's bring it in here.
67
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,275
- Hey.
- Yeah!
68
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,410
It's good to see you.
69
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,149
What's up?
What's new with you?
70
00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,417
I mean, with work, not...
Not personal stuff.
71
00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,286
- Super cazh.
- No doubt.
72
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,287
- Still unemployed, but...
73
00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,657
- Cool.
74
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,386
- I'm Kristen, by the way.
- Yes!
75
00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,928
That's Kristen.
- Hi.
76
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,359
- My husband.
- My... my husband.
77
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,264
Sorry, that's... Yeah.
- It's my husband.
78
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,399
Oh.
79
00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,638
- I...
- What are you doing here?
80
00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,539
- Hi.
- Hello.
81
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,541
- Jear Bear,
can you go get my vape pen?
82
00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,943
I left it in the car.
83
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,944
- Oh, you're here together.
84
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,706
- Yeah!
You remember Jerry.
85
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,614
We all met at that restaurant.
86
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,346
- It's nice to see you again.
87
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,219
- It's nice to see you again...
88
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,620
also.
89
00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,356
- Kind of need
that vape pen now.
90
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,187
- Right. Sorry.
91
00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:16,495
- I love how strawberry smoke
smells in my hair.
92
00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,699
Beautiful, ladies, perfect.
93
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,695
Ma'am, could you lean back?
94
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:26,966
There's a shadow on the bride.
95
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,708
- Oh, sure.
96
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,439
- How are you feeling?
Are you nervous?
97
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,778
- No, just excited.
98
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,679
- Listen, I filled my purse
with muscle relaxants
99
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,348
and anti-flatulent meds.
100
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,217
Oh, and if you're gonna puke,
you can use the purse.
101
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,348
- Okay, thanks.
102
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,719
- Told you
I'd be a good bridesmaid.
103
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,520
- It's okay to be nervous,
if you are, you know?
104
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,389
I was totally nervous
at my wedding.
105
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,658
I was like,
"Aah! Should I run away?"
106
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,389
Wouldn't that be so funny
107
00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,561
if you just, like, ran away
108
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:52,298
I was just kidding.
109
00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,799
What if we did our squad pose?
110
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,701
- Yeah!
Squad pose!
111
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:57,671
- Oh, yeah.
112
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:58,801
- Oh, okay...
113
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,006
- Dina, just...
- I'm sorry.
114
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,307
- Maybe lean...
- What?
115
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,368
- Just lean.
- I'm leaning.
116
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,376
- Lean in.
- I'm leaning!
117
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:04,377
- Shadow.
118
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,578
- Yo, fellas, like,
"sinceriously," thank you
119
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,581
for attending my nuptials
and what-have-you-not.
120
00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,717
- Sure.
- Yeah.
121
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,718
I never thought I'd have
so many nerds at my wedding.
122
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:14,721
You know what I'm saying? Ha.
123
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,689
- Ooh! Drama.
124
00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,458
Amy's real husband.
125
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,826
Amy's work husband.
126
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,727
- Work husband? Huh.
127
00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,729
Should I be worried?
- No!
128
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,598
No, I mean...
No, I got you.
129
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,729
Fight, fight, fight, fight!
130
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,466
- Yeah, yeah,
you are Amy's work husband.
131
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,601
I see you two together,
like, all the time,
132
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,736
walking around, you know...
133
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,609
It's like
he's got wedding brain.
134
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,610
Sure. Okay.
135
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,712
- Whoa! Easy on the shrimp!
136
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,614
Those are supposed to be
for everybody.
137
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,746
- I only took a few.
138
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,351
- Yeah, took a few hundred.
139
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,852
All right, put that back.
- Okay.
140
00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,354
- Yo, keep this girl away
from the ocean!
141
00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,056
That's where
all the shrimp's at.
142
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,527
- These people aren't cogs
you can just throw away.
143
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,758
They're a family.
144
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,631
They talk.
They stand around.
145
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,832
I guess that's all
they're doing right now.
146
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,536
I wish Jeff could see this.
147
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,767
Maybe I should invite Jeff here.
148
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,773
- Yes.
149
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,310
You should definitely do that.
150
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,657
- What is he wearing?
151
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,558
He looks like a woman.
152
00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,690
- Bo?
153
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,785
Bo is a woman.
154
00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:29,796
- Oh?
155
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,697
Lesbians.
156
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:32,659
Big-time.
157
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,666
- The whole world's going gay.
158
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,438
- Bigger steps.
159
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,806
You guys are killing our pace.
160
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,107
And one of you is wearing
too much Cool Water.
161
00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,439
- Yeah, that's me, Dina.
162
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,444
- Aw, Amy looks beautiful.
163
00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,576
- Not my type.
164
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,680
- Mm-mm.
No, I only like
165
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,681
tall, blue-eyed blondes...
166
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,121
and shorter Asians,
but that is it.
167
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:13,567
- Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
168
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,442
to witness the union
of Cheyenne Taylor Lee
169
00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,711
and Bilbo Derek Thompson
in holy matrimony,
170
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,847
to be joined as husband and wife
171
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:21,878
for all eternity.
172
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,616
- No, I can't do this, okay?
No.
173
00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:26,847
- No, okay? I got to be free.
You can't chain me down!
174
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,757
Do you have to
do this right now?
175
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,788
- Cheyenne,
maybe it's for the best.
176
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,660
- No, what's up?
This can't wait, okay?
177
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,529
Okay, I can't stand up in here
and say all these words
178
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,899
about loving you forever.
179
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,768
But I can rap them.
180
00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,899
- Then we're gonna need
a sick-ass beat.
181
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,507
Spit fire,
Minister Funk-Ah-Khan!
182
00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,875
- Yeah!
183
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,879
- She's very charismatic.
184
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,750
- Hey!
185
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,115
- Ain't no way I'm getting
hitched to my ride-or-die
186
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,992
without my boys here
repping me, son.
187
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,893
What's up?
188
00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:08,985
Yeah!
189
00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,126
Auntie Beth! Oh, my!
190
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,031
So good to see you.
191
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,600
Are you getting
younger or prettier?
192
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,001
I can't tell.
193
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,767
Ow!
- Relax, Bridezilla.
194
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,135
So, as your bridesmaid,
195
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:26,043
I'm supposed to come
hold your dress while you...
196
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,906
you know, piss and.
197
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,645
And I'm clocking you in
at three hours
198
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,780
since your last pit stop.
199
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,784
- Um, I-I'm good, thank you.
200
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,916
- Yeah.
201
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,021
For me, now is kind of perfect,
202
00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:38,923
because those mini pizzas
you served earlier are just...
203
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:39,926
not sitting.
204
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,627
Okay, fine, I'll go.
205
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,828
- Let's do this.
206
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,697
- Oh! Table three.
207
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,958
Party table. Whoo!
208
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,096
- Whoo!
- Ooh-ah.
209
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,969
- No, that... that's not
what we were doing.
210
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,970
- Yeah, I know.
211
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,972
- Um...
212
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,708
Oh, okay.
213
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,977
Uh, you know what? maybe we
should sit somewhere else.
214
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,708
- Pretty sure you're supposed
to sit at the table
215
00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:00,913
they tell you to.
216
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,648
- Okay, square.
217
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,917
I don't know how
you stayed married to her.
218
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,918
I didn't mean...
That wasn't...
219
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,987
Um, cool!
220
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,588
Cool, cool.
221
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,756
All right.
222
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,117
How're we doing over here, huh?
223
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,625
- What are you doing?
224
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,027
- I just like to sit...
225
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,658
facing Elias.
226
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,632
Hey.
227
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,001
- Table nine,
the buffet is now open.
228
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,132
Go wild.
229
00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,766
- You're making announcements?
230
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:28,741
- Well, what can I say, man?
I just love the power.
231
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,009
Table eight.
232
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,610
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
233
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,981
Now you can go.
234
00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,182
- Hey.
- There you are!
235
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,183
- What's the emergency?
236
00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,184
- Oh, my God.
- What?
237
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,046
- You remember Cheyenne,
don't you?
238
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,922
She just got married.
239
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,191
- Hi. Yes, this is
your wedding.
240
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,959
So why would you...
I'm sorry that I'm...
241
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,960
I'm wearing shorts.
242
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,691
I was at a Frisbee golf thing.
243
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,926
- Cool.
- It's cool. It's cool.
244
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,831
Hey, fun fact about Cheyenne
245
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,967
is she's severely uneducated,
246
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:58,698
standing between her
and prostitution.
247
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,035
Now, let me introduce you
to some other peeps
248
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,808
who are
right on the poverty line.
249
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:03,976
- I'm sorry about the...
250
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:07,707
- I never prostituted.
- No.
251
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,948
- What you have been...
- So how have...
252
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,979
Sorry.
253
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,218
You go.
254
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,849
- How's your boyfriend?
255
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:14,954
- We're not dating anymore.
256
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,055
- Oh. Um...
257
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,217
I'm sorry to hear that.
258
00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,985
- Yeah.
259
00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,134
I made him up.
260
00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,033
- Okay.
- Thank you.
261
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:30,703
- I need a super-embarrassing
story about you.
262
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,204
- Why?
- It's just for my speech.
263
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:36,065
But if it could rhyme with
"fellatio," that would be icing.
264
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,976
- No, Dina,
most of the bridesmaids
265
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:38,978
aren't giving toasts.
266
00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,246
I'm not.
- Well...
267
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,107
I mean, no offense,
but you're not funny.
268
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,245
- I'm funny.
269
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,880
- Sure, you're hilarious.
270
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,015
Come on.
271
00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:46,987
- Oh, my God.
You look so gorgeous.
272
00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:48,747
The ceremony was beautiful.
273
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:49,985
Why the hell
did you invite Jeff?
274
00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,120
- I didn't.
I think he came with Glenn.
275
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,025
No, a-as a friend.
276
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,257
- I'm not ready
to talk to Jeff right now.
277
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,998
- Mateo, you think
I'm funny, right?
278
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,929
Uh-huh.
279
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,937
- Attention, wedding guests,
specifically Bo's friends.
280
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,768
Does not mean
I am "carrying" Molly.
281
00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,775
So please stop asking.
282
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,777
Thank you for shopping
at Cloud 9.
283
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,279
Damn it.
Sorry. Force of habit.
284
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,049
- Justine lives
in a studio apartment,
285
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,320
and she's 40, so obviously
a lot of need there.
286
00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:23,023
- Excuse me.
- Okay.
287
00:10:23,024 --> 00:10:24,790
- Uh, Glenn.
288
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,058
- What?
- I'm... I'm gonna leave now.
289
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,059
- Why?
- Because this is a wedding
290
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,161
that I was not invited to.
291
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,796
Plus, I'm wearing shorts.
292
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,297
- I didn't make you wear shorts.
293
00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,929
- Still, I'm just gonna...
294
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,067
I got to go.
- No, no, no.
295
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,798
You can't leave
without saying hi
296
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,071
to Cheyenne's adorable daughter,
297
00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,072
And don't let those
chubby cheeks fool you.
298
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,075
If her parents can't
keep buying food for her...
299
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,808
she'll die.
300
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,813
I'm gonna show you
to somebody, yeah.
301
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,184
Wait.
302
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,015
- What am I supposed
to do with this?
303
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,788
- Okay...
304
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,156
- Mama.
305
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,032
- What is his game?
306
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,033
He just shows up out of nowhere,
307
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,935
flashing those legs,
carrying a baby around.
308
00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,937
I get it...
You're father material.
309
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:17,877
I mean, I hate kids,
but I love dads.
310
00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,678
- So do you always play the man?
311
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,048
- Uh... yeah.
312
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,679
Yeah, most of the time.
313
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:27,053
- Oh, that's...
That's wonderful.
314
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:30,823
- Oh, I see you went
with the Pink Cheyenne.
315
00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:34,694
- Yeah, it's Code Red,
vodka, and 13 cherries.
316
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,055
I'm kind of into it.
317
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,963
- Oh, look.
There you guys are.
318
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,065
- Oh, that's cute.
319
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,197
- Yeah, yeah.
320
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,069
But that is atypical, you know?
321
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,937
If you caught us
on a normal day,
322
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,938
she'd probably have her hands
around my neck, you know...
323
00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,470
"Jonah, you screwed up again.
324
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,935
Go clean Softlines."
325
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,077
- Okay, I don't talk like that.
326
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,808
- Well, sometimes.
327
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,813
"Adam, wash your tennis shoes.
328
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,075
They're disgusting."
329
00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,783
- Okay, well,
they are disgusting
330
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,251
'cause there was a family
of spiders living in them, so...
331
00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,987
- Okay, well, they're my shoes,
and I paid for them,
332
00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,756
so it's kind of
none of your business.
333
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,117
- Yeah, well, I was just
asking you to be an adult
334
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,885
every now and then, so...
- I know, but still.
335
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,163
- Yeah, okay.
336
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:12,998
- I'm Team Adam.
337
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,999
- All right, ladies and gents.
338
00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:17,269
I'm gonna get this thing humming
with a few jokes.
339
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,038
- Dina,
you really don't have to.
340
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,269
- No, it's okay.
It's okay.
341
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,109
I'm a bridesmaid.
It's part of my job.
342
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,276
All right, joke one...
343
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,007
Marriage
is a three-ring circus,
344
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,913
engagement ring,
345
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,275
wedding ring,
346
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,323
suffering.
347
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,889
So...
348
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,997
- That's a grammar joke.
349
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,766
If English isn't
your first language,
350
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,027
that one may be lost on you.
351
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,135
Okay, next up...
352
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,006
What do you call a woman
who likes small penises?
353
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,807
Hopefully Cheyenne.
- Okay.
354
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,009
- I'm kidding.
The little ones tend to be...
355
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,778
- All right, thank you, Dina,
356
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,209
for those beautiful
and appropriate words.
357
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,348
- Yeah, well, good luck,
358
00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:06,819
'cause this crowd blows!
359
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:07,950
- Uh, hi.
360
00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,321
I just wanted to say
361
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:12,822
congratulations
to Cheyenne and Bo.
362
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,926
Um...
363
00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,197
uh, I...
I love you, Cheyenne.
364
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:21,066
You remind me of me.
365
00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,836
I-I also met my husband
in high school,
366
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,797
and we did the whole
"baby first" thing,
367
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,906
and then got married
because we had to.
368
00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,168
I mean, not...
Wah!
369
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,036
I didn't mean we had to.
I meant...
370
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,946
I meant we got pregnant
so we got married...
371
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,907
but, um, marriage is amazing!
372
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,946
I mean, is it hard work?
373
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,819
Yes.
Duh.
374
00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:40,920
Like, that's the cliché, right?
375
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,189
"Ah, it's so hard,"
because it is.
376
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,057
You know,
one second everything's great,
377
00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,926
and then you step on
some invisible land mine,
378
00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:47,987
and you're fighting.
379
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,062
Boom! Ka-boom!
380
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,063
Uh...
381
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,195
'Cause it's hard.
It's just... It's hard.
382
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,831
But...
383
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,266
it is the hard
384
00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:01,040
that makes it good.
385
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,409
That was from
"A League of Their Own."
386
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,140
Why did Madonna
and Rosie O'Donnell
387
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:08,045
I feel like something
happened there, right?
388
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,148
Maybe we should talk about that.
389
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,419
- The desert table is now open
390
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:17,020
for anybody
who would like to stop talking.
391
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,258
- But, okay,
what I'm trying to say
392
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,389
is that no matter
how tough it gets,
393
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,125
it's gonna be fine.
394
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,030
It's gonna be...
395
00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,000
so...
396
00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,001
fine.
397
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,132
You know?
398
00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,396
Just give me the... Give it...
399
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,904
- But I...
- Give it to me.
400
00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,407
You heard it here first, folks.
401
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,138
Marriage is fine.
402
00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,943
Yikes.
403
00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,448
- Oh! Oh, you like the joke
about Amy's marriage?
404
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,079
'Cause I got a ton of those.
405
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,184
Amy's marriage is so bad...
406
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,046
How bad is it?
407
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,429
- Wow.
You're a really good dancer.
408
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,431
- Thanks.
You too.
409
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,036
- Hey, do you think Amy's okay?
410
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,041
- Aw. You worried
about your work wife?
411
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,911
- Me? No.
No, I don't even care about her.
412
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,042
No.
413
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,446
Hey.
We should move in together.
414
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,907
- What?
415
00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,176
Dude, what is with you tonight?
416
00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,446
- I'm tired.
I think I want to head out.
417
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,085
- Okay, yeah.
418
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,920
I'll just say good-bye
to everybody, and we can go.
419
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,326
- No, you should stay.
420
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,327
I'll grab a cab.
421
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,458
- Adam.
422
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,063
Look, I'm sorry
about the toast, okay?
423
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,066
I-I-I didn't know
what to say.
424
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,468
I just...
I started rambling,
425
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,069
and then
I couldn't stop rambling.
426
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,471
I wasn't even...
- Would you have married me
427
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,472
if we hadn't gotten pregnant?
428
00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,079
- Would you have asked?
429
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,250
- Well, then what are we doing?
430
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:57,021
- Thank you.
- Dina, this is for you.
431
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,357
- What's this?
432
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:02,088
- It's my bridesmaid gift,
just to say thank you.
433
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,095
- Oh.
434
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,527
You're welcome.
435
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,533
You know what?
436
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,168
Actually,
I don't feel comfortable
437
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,969
taking cheap jewelry
into my house.
438
00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:14,106
Then it's another midnight run
to the urgent care.
439
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:17,377
So I think you should return it
and just give me the cash.
440
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,511
Thanks, girl.
441
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,314
- Sometimes
the headline will say,
442
00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,446
"What happens next
is unbelievable,"
443
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,187
but then it's, like,
kind of underwhelming.
444
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:32,088
It's almost like they're trying
to trick me into clicking.
445
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,592
- I'm tired.
Let's go.
446
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,327
- Already?
They haven't even cut the cake.
447
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,096
- I've seen people
cut cake before.
448
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,257
Let's go.
449
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,067
- I really enjoyed
talking to you.
450
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,168
- I really enjoyed
talking to you, too.
451
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,438
- I can't start the car
with my mind!
452
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,439
- Bye.
453
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,170
- Bye.
454
00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,447
Jeff!
- Shh.
455
00:16:56,449 --> 00:17:00,249
- Have you been
at the wedding this entire time?
456
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:03,422
You saw me when I came in, and
then I think we made eye contact
457
00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,257
when we were both in line
for the bathroom a while ago.
458
00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:08,158
I don't think so. I...
459
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,261
Anyway, um,
it's good to see you.
460
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,263
- Not you. I hate you.
461
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:16,165
You dumped me out of nowhere,
so of course I hate you.
462
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,499
It just sounds funny
because I'm whispering.
463
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:19,138
Because I don't want to wake
the baby up because...
464
00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,339
And thank you.
465
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,140
Now she's awake.
466
00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,476
You just can't stop hurting me.
467
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,537
Okay, here we go.
I'm gonna trade you.
468
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,176
You take her.
469
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,681
She doesn't like
to bounced, okay?
470
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,150
I hate you.
471
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,381
Not you.
I love you.
472
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,402
- Hey.
473
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,471
- Hi.
474
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,441
- Just getting some fresh air.
475
00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,509
- Where's Kristen?
476
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,410
- Uh, Kristen needed a break...
477
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,550
From me.
478
00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:07,619
Where's Adam?
479
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,450
- Uh, Adam went home.
480
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,721
- Ah.
481
00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,585
Uh, well...
482
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,494
I'll... I'll leave you alone.
483
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,096
- I think my marriage is over.
484
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,401
That's the first time
I've said that out loud.
485
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,273
Mm, you gonna say
something or...?
486
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,681
I don't know what to say.
487
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,782
- Well, that's a first.
488
00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:43,188
- If anybody can get
through this, you can.
489
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:45,257
- Okay.
490
00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,188
- No, no, I'm not...
I'm not just saying that.
491
00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:50,194
You're... you're...
492
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,226
you're tough...
493
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,432
and, uh... and persistent
494
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,401
and decisive.
495
00:18:56,402 --> 00:19:00,172
- Mm. Kind of sounds like you're
calling me stubborn.
496
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:03,208
Yeah, well...
497
00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:04,439
you are insanely stubborn and...
498
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,577
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
499
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,408
- A little domineering...
- Uh-huh.
500
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:08,447
- Caustic maybe.
501
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:11,317
When I catch you
before coffee time...
502
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,686
- You're downright hostile.
503
00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,547
- Yeah.
504
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,256
Yeah, you're not wrong.
505
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:23,258
So just, like, in general,
a pretty unpleasant person.
506
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,197
- Yeah, pretty unpleasant, yeah.
- Okay.
507
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:28,298
Notice.
508
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:32,201
- But you're also
the most honest person
509
00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,365
that I've ever met.
510
00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,441
And you're strong
511
00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,213
and smart...
512
00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,314
and funny,
513
00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:46,315
and you're confident and caring,
514
00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:49,588
and you're sexy and...
515
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,289
- Um...
516
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,321
- That... I didn't...
517
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,225
- No, I...
- I wasn't try...
518
00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,587
That was just me...
- Uh, yeah. No, I...
519
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,195
- I so didn't...
I had a few drinks.
520
00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,457
- It's fine. I just...
521
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,533
I think that it's time
to cut the cake, so...
522
00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,269
I'm just...
I'm gonna go inside.
523
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,470
- Okay. Yeah.
524
00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,471
- Um...
thank you.
525
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,473
Thanks, yeah.
526
00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:23,587
- Hello.
527
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,858
- Oh.
528
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,859
Did you forget something?
529
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,761
- Yeah.
530
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,903
I forgot to do this.
531
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:34,632
Oh, um...
532
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,236
is it okay if I kiss you?
533
00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,637
- Okay.
534
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,770
- Hey, everyone,
Bo and I just want to say thanks
535
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,875
for making our wedding so dope.
536
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:48,777
Oh, and shout-out to Boonville
Women's Correctional Facility
537
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,481
for letting my mom Skype in
during the ceremony.
538
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,784
- Where's Jeff?
539
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:57,485
- To see the love in here
and have my work family
540
00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,620
and my real family
and my friend family
541
00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,856
and my mall family and...
542
00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:03,490
To piggyback on Cheyenne,
543
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,356
at Cloud 9,
we're not just coworkers.
544
00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,855
We're a family.
545
00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:10,866
Jeff, please don't make me fire
my family!
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