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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:04,569 What am I suppose to wear to your wedding? The invitation just says, 2 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,039 "Not basic." 3 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:07,340 - You know, not basic. 4 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,509 I don't know how to explain it more than that. 5 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,010 - Yeah, like, Adam's wearing a gray suit. 6 00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:14,080 - Mm, I mean, that's, like, semi-basic, 7 00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,749 but you guys are old. 8 00:00:15,750 --> 00:00:19,350 - I didn't know you were bringing Adam. 9 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,489 - Yeah, I thought your marriage was, like, 10 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:27,227 - No, it's fine. 11 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:29,228 We... we're just... We're in couples counseling, 12 00:00:29,230 --> 00:00:31,498 and it's fine, and, please, nobody be weird around him. 13 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,229 Okay? - No... 14 00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,101 I'm, like, super cazh. 15 00:00:35,102 --> 00:00:36,602 - And, please, nobody say "super cazh," 16 00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,371 like, as a life rule. 17 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:40,106 - Well, personally, I'm gonna wear a polo dress. 18 00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:43,237 All right? It's simple, beautiful, elegant... 19 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,511 Oh, but then again, I do have one 20 00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,112 of Nancy Pelosi's old pantsuits. 21 00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,247 I won it at an auction. 22 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,508 Do you think that would be better? 23 00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,516 - I'm actually just wearing my bridesmaid's dress. 24 00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:51,778 - You asked Amy to be a bridesmaid, 25 00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,246 but you didn't ask me? 26 00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,788 - What? Ohhh! 27 00:00:54,789 --> 00:00:57,357 Uhhh... 28 00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,618 Yah! - I get it. 29 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,356 I just kind of always wanted to be a bridesmaid, and I... 30 00:01:02,363 --> 00:01:04,363 I don't know if I'll ever get another chance. 31 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:05,355 I mean... 32 00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,096 my sister's just so ugly. 33 00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:09,369 - All right, Dina... 34 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:11,570 you can be a bridesmaid. 35 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,206 - Yes! Oh! 36 00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,607 You will not regret this. 37 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:16,608 Okay, I'm gonna need to see my dress asap, 38 00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:18,610 in case I want to change the cut or the color. 39 00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,590 - Does this sound fancy to you? 40 00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:35,228 - Nah, just sounds like gold clinking up against crystal. 41 00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,496 - What? 42 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:39,227 Those are two of the most expensive things! 43 00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:43,369 I just got something from the "lost and found" bin at work. 44 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:45,238 - I don't want people spending money 45 00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:48,469 they might not have tomorrow. 46 00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,876 Corporate is making me lay off six people. 47 00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,208 - Whoa. There's gonna be layoffs? 48 00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,481 I don't want anyone to know. 49 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,582 - Okay, well, they're gonna find out 50 00:01:55,583 --> 00:01:57,217 when the paychecks stop coming. 51 00:01:57,218 --> 00:01:58,878 - I'll tell them tomorrow. - Mm. 52 00:01:58,886 --> 00:02:01,546 - Cheyenne's wedding should be a day of joy... 53 00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,155 that people look back on and say, 54 00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:05,157 "I was happy that day. 55 00:02:05,159 --> 00:02:07,559 That was the last day I was happy." 56 00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,429 - You look fine. - Yeah? Fine? 57 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:10,660 - Yeah, fine. Yeah, good, like... 58 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,864 Like you always do. 59 00:02:11,866 --> 00:02:13,126 Nice, you look nice. - Thanks. 60 00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:14,234 You too. 61 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,625 I feel like everyone is looking at us. 62 00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:18,266 Adam, nobody's looking at us. 63 00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,272 - Adam! 64 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:20,273 Sorry. Adam. 65 00:02:20,274 --> 00:02:21,541 Hey! 66 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,642 - You know what? Come on, let's bring it in here. 67 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,275 - Hey. - Yeah! 68 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,410 It's good to see you. 69 00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,149 What's up? What's new with you? 70 00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:31,417 I mean, with work, not... Not personal stuff. 71 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,286 - Super cazh. - No doubt. 72 00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,287 - Still unemployed, but... 73 00:02:35,289 --> 00:02:36,657 - Cool. 74 00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,386 - I'm Kristen, by the way. - Yes! 75 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:41,928 That's Kristen. - Hi. 76 00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,359 - My husband. - My... my husband. 77 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,264 Sorry, that's... Yeah. - It's my husband. 78 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,399 Oh. 79 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,638 - I... - What are you doing here? 80 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:53,539 - Hi. - Hello. 81 00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,541 - Jear Bear, can you go get my vape pen? 82 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:56,943 I left it in the car. 83 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,944 - Oh, you're here together. 84 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,706 - Yeah! You remember Jerry. 85 00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,614 We all met at that restaurant. 86 00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:04,346 - It's nice to see you again. 87 00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,219 - It's nice to see you again... 88 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,620 also. 89 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,356 - Kind of need that vape pen now. 90 00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,187 - Right. Sorry. 91 00:03:12,725 --> 00:03:16,495 - I love how strawberry smoke smells in my hair. 92 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:24,699 Beautiful, ladies, perfect. 93 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,695 Ma'am, could you lean back? 94 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:26,966 There's a shadow on the bride. 95 00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:28,708 - Oh, sure. 96 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,439 - How are you feeling? Are you nervous? 97 00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,778 - No, just excited. 98 00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,679 - Listen, I filled my purse with muscle relaxants 99 00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,348 and anti-flatulent meds. 100 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:37,217 Oh, and if you're gonna puke, you can use the purse. 101 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,348 - Okay, thanks. 102 00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,719 - Told you I'd be a good bridesmaid. 103 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,520 - It's okay to be nervous, if you are, you know? 104 00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:43,389 I was totally nervous at my wedding. 105 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,658 I was like, "Aah! Should I run away?" 106 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:47,389 Wouldn't that be so funny 107 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,561 if you just, like, ran away 108 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:52,298 I was just kidding. 109 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,799 What if we did our squad pose? 110 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,701 - Yeah! Squad pose! 111 00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:57,671 - Oh, yeah. 112 00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:58,801 - Oh, okay... 113 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,006 - Dina, just... - I'm sorry. 114 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,307 - Maybe lean... - What? 115 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:02,368 - Just lean. - I'm leaning. 116 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:03,376 - Lean in. - I'm leaning! 117 00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:04,377 - Shadow. 118 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,578 - Yo, fellas, like, "sinceriously," thank you 119 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,581 for attending my nuptials and what-have-you-not. 120 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,717 - Sure. - Yeah. 121 00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:13,718 I never thought I'd have so many nerds at my wedding. 122 00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:14,721 You know what I'm saying? Ha. 123 00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:16,689 - Ooh! Drama. 124 00:04:16,690 --> 00:04:18,458 Amy's real husband. 125 00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:19,826 Amy's work husband. 126 00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,727 - Work husband? Huh. 127 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,729 Should I be worried? - No! 128 00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,598 No, I mean... No, I got you. 129 00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:28,729 Fight, fight, fight, fight! 130 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,466 - Yeah, yeah, you are Amy's work husband. 131 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,601 I see you two together, like, all the time, 132 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,736 walking around, you know... 133 00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:36,609 It's like he's got wedding brain. 134 00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,610 Sure. Okay. 135 00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:40,712 - Whoa! Easy on the shrimp! 136 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,614 Those are supposed to be for everybody. 137 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,746 - I only took a few. 138 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,351 - Yeah, took a few hundred. 139 00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,852 All right, put that back. - Okay. 140 00:04:46,854 --> 00:04:49,354 - Yo, keep this girl away from the ocean! 141 00:04:49,356 --> 00:04:51,056 That's where all the shrimp's at. 142 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:54,527 - These people aren't cogs you can just throw away. 143 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:55,758 They're a family. 144 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,631 They talk. They stand around. 145 00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,832 I guess that's all they're doing right now. 146 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,536 I wish Jeff could see this. 147 00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,767 Maybe I should invite Jeff here. 148 00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:06,773 - Yes. 149 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,310 You should definitely do that. 150 00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,657 - What is he wearing? 151 00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,558 He looks like a woman. 152 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:27,690 - Bo? 153 00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:28,785 Bo is a woman. 154 00:05:28,796 --> 00:05:29,796 - Oh? 155 00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,697 Lesbians. 156 00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:32,659 Big-time. 157 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:35,666 - The whole world's going gay. 158 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:38,438 - Bigger steps. 159 00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,806 You guys are killing our pace. 160 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:42,107 And one of you is wearing too much Cool Water. 161 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,439 - Yeah, that's me, Dina. 162 00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,444 - Aw, Amy looks beautiful. 163 00:05:45,446 --> 00:05:46,576 - Not my type. 164 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,680 - Mm-mm. No, I only like 165 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,681 tall, blue-eyed blondes... 166 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:54,121 and shorter Asians, but that is it. 167 00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:13,567 - Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today 168 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:16,442 to witness the union of Cheyenne Taylor Lee 169 00:06:16,443 --> 00:06:18,711 and Bilbo Derek Thompson in holy matrimony, 170 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,847 to be joined as husband and wife 171 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:21,878 for all eternity. 172 00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:23,616 - No, I can't do this, okay? No. 173 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:26,847 - No, okay? I got to be free. You can't chain me down! 174 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,757 Do you have to do this right now? 175 00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,788 - Cheyenne, maybe it's for the best. 176 00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,660 - No, what's up? This can't wait, okay? 177 00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:36,529 Okay, I can't stand up in here and say all these words 178 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,899 about loving you forever. 179 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,768 But I can rap them. 180 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,899 - Then we're gonna need a sick-ass beat. 181 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,507 Spit fire, Minister Funk-Ah-Khan! 182 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:49,875 - Yeah! 183 00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:53,879 - She's very charismatic. 184 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,750 - Hey! 185 00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:04,115 - Ain't no way I'm getting hitched to my ride-or-die 186 00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:05,992 without my boys here repping me, son. 187 00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:07,893 What's up? 188 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:08,985 Yeah! 189 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:11,126 Auntie Beth! Oh, my! 190 00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:13,031 So good to see you. 191 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,600 Are you getting younger or prettier? 192 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,001 I can't tell. 193 00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,767 Ow! - Relax, Bridezilla. 194 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,135 So, as your bridesmaid, 195 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:26,043 I'm supposed to come hold your dress while you... 196 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:27,906 you know, piss and. 197 00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,645 And I'm clocking you in at three hours 198 00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,780 since your last pit stop. 199 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:32,784 - Um, I-I'm good, thank you. 200 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:33,916 - Yeah. 201 00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,021 For me, now is kind of perfect, 202 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:38,923 because those mini pizzas you served earlier are just... 203 00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:39,926 not sitting. 204 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,627 Okay, fine, I'll go. 205 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,828 - Let's do this. 206 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,697 - Oh! Table three. 207 00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,958 Party table. Whoo! 208 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,096 - Whoo! - Ooh-ah. 209 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,969 - No, that... that's not what we were doing. 210 00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,970 - Yeah, I know. 211 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,972 - Um... 212 00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,708 Oh, okay. 213 00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:57,977 Uh, you know what? maybe we should sit somewhere else. 214 00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,708 - Pretty sure you're supposed to sit at the table 215 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:00,913 they tell you to. 216 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:02,648 - Okay, square. 217 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,917 I don't know how you stayed married to her. 218 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,918 I didn't mean... That wasn't... 219 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:07,987 Um, cool! 220 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:09,588 Cool, cool. 221 00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:10,756 All right. 222 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:12,117 How're we doing over here, huh? 223 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,625 - What are you doing? 224 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,027 - I just like to sit... 225 00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,658 facing Elias. 226 00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,632 Hey. 227 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:22,001 - Table nine, the buffet is now open. 228 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,132 Go wild. 229 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:24,766 - You're making announcements? 230 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:28,741 - Well, what can I say, man? I just love the power. 231 00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,009 Table eight. 232 00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:32,610 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! 233 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,981 Now you can go. 234 00:08:34,982 --> 00:08:36,182 - Hey. - There you are! 235 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,183 - What's the emergency? 236 00:08:37,184 --> 00:08:39,184 - Oh, my God. - What? 237 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,046 - You remember Cheyenne, don't you? 238 00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,922 She just got married. 239 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,191 - Hi. Yes, this is your wedding. 240 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,959 So why would you... I'm sorry that I'm... 241 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,960 I'm wearing shorts. 242 00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,691 I was at a Frisbee golf thing. 243 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:50,926 - Cool. - It's cool. It's cool. 244 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,831 Hey, fun fact about Cheyenne 245 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:54,967 is she's severely uneducated, 246 00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:58,698 standing between her and prostitution. 247 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:01,035 Now, let me introduce you to some other peeps 248 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,808 who are right on the poverty line. 249 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:03,976 - I'm sorry about the... 250 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:07,707 - I never prostituted. - No. 251 00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,948 - What you have been... - So how have... 252 00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,979 Sorry. 253 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:12,218 You go. 254 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,849 - How's your boyfriend? 255 00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:14,954 - We're not dating anymore. 256 00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,055 - Oh. Um... 257 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,217 I'm sorry to hear that. 258 00:09:18,225 --> 00:09:20,985 - Yeah. 259 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:23,134 I made him up. 260 00:09:25,264 --> 00:09:27,033 - Okay. - Thank you. 261 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:30,703 - I need a super-embarrassing story about you. 262 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:32,204 - Why? - It's just for my speech. 263 00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:36,065 But if it could rhyme with "fellatio," that would be icing. 264 00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,976 - No, Dina, most of the bridesmaids 265 00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:38,978 aren't giving toasts. 266 00:09:38,979 --> 00:09:40,246 I'm not. - Well... 267 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,107 I mean, no offense, but you're not funny. 268 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,245 - I'm funny. 269 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,880 - Sure, you're hilarious. 270 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,015 Come on. 271 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:46,987 - Oh, my God. You look so gorgeous. 272 00:09:46,988 --> 00:09:48,747 The ceremony was beautiful. 273 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:49,985 Why the hell did you invite Jeff? 274 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:52,120 - I didn't. I think he came with Glenn. 275 00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,025 No, a-as a friend. 276 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,257 - I'm not ready to talk to Jeff right now. 277 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,998 - Mateo, you think I'm funny, right? 278 00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,929 Uh-huh. 279 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:04,937 - Attention, wedding guests, specifically Bo's friends. 280 00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:08,768 Does not mean I am "carrying" Molly. 281 00:10:08,775 --> 00:10:10,775 So please stop asking. 282 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,777 Thank you for shopping at Cloud 9. 283 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,279 Damn it. Sorry. Force of habit. 284 00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:17,049 - Justine lives in a studio apartment, 285 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,320 and she's 40, so obviously a lot of need there. 286 00:10:22,054 --> 00:10:23,023 - Excuse me. - Okay. 287 00:10:23,024 --> 00:10:24,790 - Uh, Glenn. 288 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,058 - What? - I'm... I'm gonna leave now. 289 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,059 - Why? - Because this is a wedding 290 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,161 that I was not invited to. 291 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:30,796 Plus, I'm wearing shorts. 292 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,297 - I didn't make you wear shorts. 293 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:33,929 - Still, I'm just gonna... 294 00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:35,067 I got to go. - No, no, no. 295 00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:36,798 You can't leave without saying hi 296 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,071 to Cheyenne's adorable daughter, 297 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,072 And don't let those chubby cheeks fool you. 298 00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,075 If her parents can't keep buying food for her... 299 00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,808 she'll die. 300 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,813 I'm gonna show you to somebody, yeah. 301 00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:52,184 Wait. 302 00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:54,015 - What am I supposed to do with this? 303 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,788 - Okay... 304 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,156 - Mama. 305 00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,032 - What is his game? 306 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,033 He just shows up out of nowhere, 307 00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:10,935 flashing those legs, carrying a baby around. 308 00:11:10,937 --> 00:11:13,937 I get it... You're father material. 309 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:17,877 I mean, I hate kids, but I love dads. 310 00:11:17,878 --> 00:11:20,678 - So do you always play the man? 311 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,048 - Uh... yeah. 312 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,679 Yeah, most of the time. 313 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:27,053 - Oh, that's... That's wonderful. 314 00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:30,823 - Oh, I see you went with the Pink Cheyenne. 315 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:34,694 - Yeah, it's Code Red, vodka, and 13 cherries. 316 00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,055 I'm kind of into it. 317 00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:38,963 - Oh, look. There you guys are. 318 00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,065 - Oh, that's cute. 319 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,197 - Yeah, yeah. 320 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,069 But that is atypical, you know? 321 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,937 If you caught us on a normal day, 322 00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,938 she'd probably have her hands around my neck, you know... 323 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:48,470 "Jonah, you screwed up again. 324 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,935 Go clean Softlines." 325 00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,077 - Okay, I don't talk like that. 326 00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:52,808 - Well, sometimes. 327 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,813 "Adam, wash your tennis shoes. 328 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,075 They're disgusting." 329 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:57,783 - Okay, well, they are disgusting 330 00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,251 'cause there was a family of spiders living in them, so... 331 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:01,987 - Okay, well, they're my shoes, and I paid for them, 332 00:12:01,988 --> 00:12:03,756 so it's kind of none of your business. 333 00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:05,117 - Yeah, well, I was just asking you to be an adult 334 00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:06,885 every now and then, so... - I know, but still. 335 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:08,163 - Yeah, okay. 336 00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:12,998 - I'm Team Adam. 337 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,999 - All right, ladies and gents. 338 00:12:15,001 --> 00:12:17,269 I'm gonna get this thing humming with a few jokes. 339 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,038 - Dina, you really don't have to. 340 00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,269 - No, it's okay. It's okay. 341 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:23,109 I'm a bridesmaid. It's part of my job. 342 00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:24,276 All right, joke one... 343 00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,007 Marriage is a three-ring circus, 344 00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,913 engagement ring, 345 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:30,275 wedding ring, 346 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,323 suffering. 347 00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:35,889 So... 348 00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:44,997 - That's a grammar joke. 349 00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,766 If English isn't your first language, 350 00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,027 that one may be lost on you. 351 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,135 Okay, next up... 352 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:54,006 What do you call a woman who likes small penises? 353 00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:55,807 Hopefully Cheyenne. - Okay. 354 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:57,009 - I'm kidding. The little ones tend to be... 355 00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:58,778 - All right, thank you, Dina, 356 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,209 for those beautiful and appropriate words. 357 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,348 - Yeah, well, good luck, 358 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:06,819 'cause this crowd blows! 359 00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:07,950 - Uh, hi. 360 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,321 I just wanted to say 361 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:12,822 congratulations to Cheyenne and Bo. 362 00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,926 Um... 363 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,197 uh, I... I love you, Cheyenne. 364 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:21,066 You remind me of me. 365 00:13:21,067 --> 00:13:23,836 I-I also met my husband in high school, 366 00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,797 and we did the whole "baby first" thing, 367 00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:27,906 and then got married because we had to. 368 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:29,168 I mean, not... Wah! 369 00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:31,036 I didn't mean we had to. I meant... 370 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,946 I meant we got pregnant so we got married... 371 00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:35,907 but, um, marriage is amazing! 372 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,946 I mean, is it hard work? 373 00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:39,819 Yes. Duh. 374 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:40,920 Like, that's the cliché, right? 375 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,189 "Ah, it's so hard," because it is. 376 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,057 You know, one second everything's great, 377 00:13:45,058 --> 00:13:46,926 and then you step on some invisible land mine, 378 00:13:46,927 --> 00:13:47,987 and you're fighting. 379 00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:50,062 Boom! Ka-boom! 380 00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,063 Uh... 381 00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:54,195 'Cause it's hard. It's just... It's hard. 382 00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:55,831 But... 383 00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:57,266 it is the hard 384 00:13:57,270 --> 00:14:01,040 that makes it good. 385 00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,409 That was from "A League of Their Own." 386 00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,140 Why did Madonna and Rosie O'Donnell 387 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:08,045 I feel like something happened there, right? 388 00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:11,148 Maybe we should talk about that. 389 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,419 - The desert table is now open 390 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:17,020 for anybody who would like to stop talking. 391 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:19,258 - But, okay, what I'm trying to say 392 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,389 is that no matter how tough it gets, 393 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,125 it's gonna be fine. 394 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,030 It's gonna be... 395 00:14:26,032 --> 00:14:28,000 so... 396 00:14:28,001 --> 00:14:29,001 fine. 397 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,132 You know? 398 00:14:30,136 --> 00:14:31,396 Just give me the... Give it... 399 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,904 - But I... - Give it to me. 400 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:35,407 You heard it here first, folks. 401 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,138 Marriage is fine. 402 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:38,943 Yikes. 403 00:14:40,313 --> 00:14:42,448 - Oh! Oh, you like the joke about Amy's marriage? 404 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,079 'Cause I got a ton of those. 405 00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,184 Amy's marriage is so bad... 406 00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,046 How bad is it? 407 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,429 - Wow. You're a really good dancer. 408 00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:00,431 - Thanks. You too. 409 00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,036 - Hey, do you think Amy's okay? 410 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,041 - Aw. You worried about your work wife? 411 00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:11,911 - Me? No. No, I don't even care about her. 412 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,042 No. 413 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,446 Hey. We should move in together. 414 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:15,907 - What? 415 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:17,176 Dude, what is with you tonight? 416 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,446 - I'm tired. I think I want to head out. 417 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,085 - Okay, yeah. 418 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,920 I'll just say good-bye to everybody, and we can go. 419 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,326 - No, you should stay. 420 00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,327 I'll grab a cab. 421 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:30,458 - Adam. 422 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,063 Look, I'm sorry about the toast, okay? 423 00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,066 I-I-I didn't know what to say. 424 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,468 I just... I started rambling, 425 00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,069 and then I couldn't stop rambling. 426 00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,471 I wasn't even... - Would you have married me 427 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,472 if we hadn't gotten pregnant? 428 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,079 - Would you have asked? 429 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,250 - Well, then what are we doing? 430 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:57,021 - Thank you. - Dina, this is for you. 431 00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,357 - What's this? 432 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:02,088 - It's my bridesmaid gift, just to say thank you. 433 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,095 - Oh. 434 00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:06,527 You're welcome. 435 00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:07,533 You know what? 436 00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,168 Actually, I don't feel comfortable 437 00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:10,969 taking cheap jewelry into my house. 438 00:16:10,971 --> 00:16:14,106 Then it's another midnight run to the urgent care. 439 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:17,377 So I think you should return it and just give me the cash. 440 00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:21,511 Thanks, girl. 441 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,314 - Sometimes the headline will say, 442 00:16:23,316 --> 00:16:25,446 "What happens next is unbelievable," 443 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,187 but then it's, like, kind of underwhelming. 444 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:32,088 It's almost like they're trying to trick me into clicking. 445 00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,592 - I'm tired. Let's go. 446 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,327 - Already? They haven't even cut the cake. 447 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,096 - I've seen people cut cake before. 448 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,257 Let's go. 449 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,067 - I really enjoyed talking to you. 450 00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,168 - I really enjoyed talking to you, too. 451 00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:46,438 - I can't start the car with my mind! 452 00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,439 - Bye. 453 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,170 - Bye. 454 00:16:54,447 --> 00:16:56,447 Jeff! - Shh. 455 00:16:56,449 --> 00:17:00,249 - Have you been at the wedding this entire time? 456 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:03,422 You saw me when I came in, and then I think we made eye contact 457 00:17:03,423 --> 00:17:05,257 when we were both in line for the bathroom a while ago. 458 00:17:05,258 --> 00:17:08,158 I don't think so. I... 459 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:10,261 Anyway, um, it's good to see you. 460 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,263 - Not you. I hate you. 461 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:16,165 You dumped me out of nowhere, so of course I hate you. 462 00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:17,499 It just sounds funny because I'm whispering. 463 00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:19,138 Because I don't want to wake the baby up because... 464 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:20,339 And thank you. 465 00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,140 Now she's awake. 466 00:17:23,143 --> 00:17:24,476 You just can't stop hurting me. 467 00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:26,537 Okay, here we go. I'm gonna trade you. 468 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,176 You take her. 469 00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:29,681 She doesn't like to bounced, okay? 470 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:31,150 I hate you. 471 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,381 Not you. I love you. 472 00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,402 - Hey. 473 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,471 - Hi. 474 00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:55,441 - Just getting some fresh air. 475 00:17:55,442 --> 00:17:57,509 - Where's Kristen? 476 00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,410 - Uh, Kristen needed a break... 477 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,550 From me. 478 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:07,619 Where's Adam? 479 00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:09,450 - Uh, Adam went home. 480 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,721 - Ah. 481 00:18:12,725 --> 00:18:14,585 Uh, well... 482 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,494 I'll... I'll leave you alone. 483 00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:19,096 - I think my marriage is over. 484 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,401 That's the first time I've said that out loud. 485 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,273 Mm, you gonna say something or...? 486 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,681 I don't know what to say. 487 00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:37,782 - Well, that's a first. 488 00:18:39,551 --> 00:18:43,188 - If anybody can get through this, you can. 489 00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:45,257 - Okay. 490 00:18:45,258 --> 00:18:48,188 - No, no, I'm not... I'm not just saying that. 491 00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:50,194 You're... you're... 492 00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,226 you're tough... 493 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:54,432 and, uh... and persistent 494 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,401 and decisive. 495 00:18:56,402 --> 00:19:00,172 - Mm. Kind of sounds like you're calling me stubborn. 496 00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:03,208 Yeah, well... 497 00:19:03,209 --> 00:19:04,439 you are insanely stubborn and... 498 00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:05,577 - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 499 00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,408 - A little domineering... - Uh-huh. 500 00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:08,447 - Caustic maybe. 501 00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:11,317 When I catch you before coffee time... 502 00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,686 - You're downright hostile. 503 00:19:14,687 --> 00:19:16,547 - Yeah. 504 00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,256 Yeah, you're not wrong. 505 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:23,258 So just, like, in general, a pretty unpleasant person. 506 00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,197 - Yeah, pretty unpleasant, yeah. - Okay. 507 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:28,298 Notice. 508 00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:32,201 - But you're also the most honest person 509 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:33,365 that I've ever met. 510 00:19:35,441 --> 00:19:38,441 And you're strong 511 00:19:38,444 --> 00:19:41,213 and smart... 512 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,314 and funny, 513 00:19:42,315 --> 00:19:46,315 and you're confident and caring, 514 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:49,588 and you're sexy and... 515 00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,289 - Um... 516 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,321 - That... I didn't... 517 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,225 - No, I... - I wasn't try... 518 00:19:54,227 --> 00:19:55,587 That was just me... - Uh, yeah. No, I... 519 00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,195 - I so didn't... I had a few drinks. 520 00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:58,457 - It's fine. I just... 521 00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,533 I think that it's time to cut the cake, so... 522 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:04,269 I'm just... I'm gonna go inside. 523 00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:05,470 - Okay. Yeah. 524 00:20:05,471 --> 00:20:07,471 - Um... thank you. 525 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,473 Thanks, yeah. 526 00:20:22,487 --> 00:20:23,587 - Hello. 527 00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:26,858 - Oh. 528 00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:28,859 Did you forget something? 529 00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,761 - Yeah. 530 00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:31,903 I forgot to do this. 531 00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:34,632 Oh, um... 532 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,236 is it okay if I kiss you? 533 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:38,637 - Okay. 534 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,770 - Hey, everyone, Bo and I just want to say thanks 535 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,875 for making our wedding so dope. 536 00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:48,777 Oh, and shout-out to Boonville Women's Correctional Facility 537 00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,481 for letting my mom Skype in during the ceremony. 538 00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:52,784 - Where's Jeff? 539 00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:57,485 - To see the love in here and have my work family 540 00:20:57,490 --> 00:20:59,620 and my real family and my friend family 541 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,856 and my mall family and... 542 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:03,490 To piggyback on Cheyenne, 543 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,356 at Cloud 9, we're not just coworkers. 544 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:06,855 We're a family. 545 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:10,866 Jeff, please don't make me fire my family! 37072

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