All language subtitles for Superstore.S02E15.WEBRip.x264-ION10_Engsh

.

[mellow music]

- Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers.

We do apologize for the heat
in the store today.

The temperature is controlled
by corporate,

and we are working on it.

And though I am thankful

for all of you who have taken
the time to tell me

that it is hot in here,

the next person who does,

I'ma have to murder.

That is all.

- How about you cool it
with the attitude?

- Not today, Dina.
- What, you think you're

the only person
that's uncomfortable?

My pelvic area is like
the Gulf Coast right now.

Seriously, I could
steam shellfish in these khakis.

- Good God.
- If you can't

be professional,
stay off the airwaves.

- Whoa, keep your hands
off Thor's hammer. Come on.

- No, it's--
no, absolutely not.

It's mine now.
- Oh, yeah?

- How about it?
- Boom.

What about that?
Round two.

- Is that your own personal
microphone?

- Yeah.
I carry this one with me.

- Guys. Guys, come on.

I know it's hot in here,
but let's breathe.

Let's have some patience
for one another.

- Yeah, you know,
the heat makes us all

act irrationally,
you know, I mean--

- If your face stays where
it is, it's gonna get punched.

- I was just saying--
- Punched.

[upbeat music]

*

[mellow music]

*

- [sighs]

God, the heat really
brings out your age, doesn't it?

- Dina, I am trying to keep
a positive attitude today,

so help me out, okay?

- Yeah, sure. Sorry.

So did you eat a lot
of French onion soup last night,

or is that just the natural
scent your body secretes?

You just have
a very unique musk.

It's thick.
It's, like, swampy.

- Okay.
- It's like a swampy musk.

- I'm walking away. Bye.
- It's not bad.

What? No offense.

- Yeah, so anyway,

the heat's really blasting away
over here,

and since you guys
set the temperatures,

I was hoping
you could turn it off.

- No problem.
I can help you with that.

- Thank you.
- And my computer says

you're at 66 degrees,
so that's perfect.

- Well--well, no.

Maybe your computer's
not working,

'cause I can assure you it is
extremely warm in the store.

- Mm-hmm, yeah.
In my experience,

computers don't make
the mistakes.

People do.

I'm just gonna
put a note on here

that says "manager error."

- It is not an error.

I know what hot is,

and I am very, very hot.

- I'm sure you are.
Please hold.

- What--

- Marcus, what do you know
about this pallet?

- Are you asking 'cause I'm
in charge of the warehouse now?

'Cause you heard I'm in charge
of the warehouse now, right?

- I did. Yeah.

A promotion with no raise.
Well done.

- Thank you.
It just goes to show

you keep your head down,
you do the work,

get your thumb cut off,
and agree not to sue,

anything can happen.

- Okay.
So you can clean this up?

- I got a lot on my plate
right now,

uh, but sure, yeah,
I'll take care of it.

You know what they say:

heavy is the head
that wears the pants.

- Okay.

- It's Shakespeare.

Maybe pick up a book
once in a while.

[knock at door]

- Hey, Glenn, I just wanted
to check on the ETA of--

Ooh, it is pleasant as hell
in here.

- Well, yeah,
I had to turn on the AC...

in February!

Can you believe that?

I'm trying to get them
to fix it,

but, my God, these people!

- So while everybody's
out there boiling in the heat,

you just sitting in here
in your ivory ice tower?

- I'm doing
everything I can.

- Are you?

'Cause your people
are counting on you.

So maybe this isn't
about asking for help.

Maybe this is about...

- 11:35?

- Keep guessing.
- It's about...

time I fixed the heat myself?

- Okay, I can work with that.
Yes, Glenn.

Get out there and fix
that heating system or whatever.

- Yeah, I can.
I--I'm gonna fix it myself.

Yeah. That's what I'm doing.

- Okay.
- Doing that right now.

- Yeah, go fix it.
And take your time!

It's about the journey!

Ooh, max cool.

That's what I'm all about.

- Ugh, can you stay
on your side?

You're getting your gross
guy heat all over me.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
Is this better? Is this helping?

- No!
- You like that?

- It's worse! It's grosser!
[whimpers]

- Oh, my God,
you are such a drama queen.

- You're disgusting.

- I am really sorry.

I just thought leather pants
would look cool.

I didn't realize they'd stick
to sweaty legs.

- It's fine.
It's not real leather anyway.

It's made out of recycled
soda bottles. [grunts]

- I'm going to this mixer
for single IT guys.

- Yeah?
You gonna meet some women?

- No. Just other IT guys.

- Well, they're gonna love
these pants.

- Uh, hey, Amy?

This woman slipped on some
yogurt in Grocery, and, uh--

- No! No--Marcus was su--

Okay, um, I'll be right back.

Just wait here, ma'am.

- Here you are.

- I'm in IT.

- [sighs]

- Ooh! Ahhh!

Oh, shut the door.
You're letting the air out.

- Are you Glenn?

'Cause this is Glenn's office,
but you don't look like Glenn.

Unless Glenn
completely changed

everything
about the way he looks,

or Glenn's actually
always looked like Garrett

but has just been wearing a mask
all these years.

I'll get to the point.
I know you're not Glenn.

- Wow. Well,
you figured that one out.

Look, I'm just taking a break
from the heat.

- Yeah, it is a lot cooler
in here.

I mean, a gal could
dry her pants out all the way

in a place like this.

- Marcus, a customer
just slipped on the spill.

- Yeah, sorry, Ames.
We'll get to it.

We're all just pretty hot
back here.

- Yeah, no, I get it.
It's hot everywhere.

But you said you'd clean it up.

- Okay. Relax.

There's no need
to get emotional.

- Emotional? Am I--
am I getting emotional?

- Kind of?

- Okay, you know what?
It's not a big deal.

Just needs to get cleaned up.
I'll have one of my guys do it.

- Much apreesh.

Oh, and hey, Ames, smile.

You'll live longer.

- Did you just tell me
to smile?

- Yeah, you little sourpuss.

- Attention, employees.

Do not clean up the yogurt spill
in Grocery.

This is a warehouse problem,

and it will be cleaned up
when they clean it up.

Go to hell, Marcus.

- Excuse me.
It's a little hot in here.

- We are aware of it!

- Okay.

.

- I cannot believe
he told me to smile.

- Yeah.
That's so out of line.

I completely agree.

- Would it help
if I just cleaned it up?

'Cause I really,
really want to clean it up.

Like, really.

- Do not touch this spill.

- Okay, leaving it
to fester.

- You know what? Maybe let's
just let this one go, you know?

Because the--the heat.

And also, maybe the heat is
causing, like, a number of us

to act in ways that seem
a little, I don't know,

uh, overboard.

- So what are you saying?

We should let Marcus
off the hook because it's hot?

- No. No. No. It's just--

remembering that all of us
are in the hot store, you know?

Including me, Mateo, you.

- Yeah, I know,

and we're staying cool
as [bleep] cucumbers.

- Okay.
- Mateo!

- [sighs]

- What is wrong
with people today?

- Whoa!

What a view!

Now I get why Brett's always
trying to make me come up here

and smoke out with him.

- Yeah, well,
this shouldn't take long.

Your job is to hand me the tools

as I need them, okay?

- Wow, you're so handy.

- It's "handsy." Plural.

But yeah, the Sturgises
have always been builders.

In fact, my ancestors
built the ships

that brought the very first
African-Americans

to this country.

- You mean, like,
slave ships?

- No!

No.

Uh, okay, well, let's see
what we're dealing with here.

- Whoa! I can't believe you know
how to fix that.

- Well, I definitely do,

so why don't you just, uh,
be quiet and shut up?

- [hissing]

- Do you have
to make that noise?

- I've got a really bad itch
at the back of my throat.

You know how they say people
swallow, on average,

three spiders per year
while you're asleep?

I think, last night,
I hit my trifecta.

Ugh.

[pen clicking]

Yep, that pen still clicks.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
Am I bugging you?

- Oh, it's not your fault.
You're just an annoying person.

- Look, let's be adults
and just not talk.

- Fine with me.

- You remember
that time we had sex?

- What the hell?
Take off your pants.

- Thank you both
for agreeing to sit down.

Uh, mistakes were made.

Some things were said

that I'm sure
both parties regret.

- She told me to go to hell.
I'm Catholic.

That's the worst place
we can go.

- Well, at least I didn't
tell you to smile.

- What's wrong with that?
You have a nice smile.

- I have an amazing smile.
It lights up a room.

But you don't tell me
when to smile, Marcus.

I will smile
when I damn well please.

- Fine. I'm sorry
if you felt offended.

I just forgot how sensitive
women can be.

- Marcus, no.

- So now I'm sensitive.

Well, how's this
for sensitive, Marcus?

I am writing you up.

- Uh-oh, guys. Miss Amy's
writing my name on the board.

- That's--
[laughter]

- Oh, you think that's funny?

- Yeah, 'cause you were being
like an uptight teacher.

- What did we say
about deescalating?

- More like
I'm your superior

at a job you used to have,
Marcus.

You're fired.

- You're firing me?
For nothing?

- No, no, no, no, no, no.
No!

Let's back it up, okay?

Uh, nobody is getting fired.

And it's not "nothing,"
all right?

I think what happened was,
maybe you said some things

that tapped into kind of
a gender/power matrix, so--

- Ugh, seriously, dude, you're
being a bigger bitch than Amy.

- Marcus, you're fired.

.

[flies buzzing]

- Okay, so...

you may have heard
that we had an incident.

We had to let Marcus go.

- What?
- What?

- Are you allowed
to fire people?

- That's unclear. Probably.

I don't know.
He seemed to think so.

Anyway, the rest
of the warehouse

walked out in solidarity
with him.

- Yeah.
They're surprisingly loyal.

Apparently he promised them he
was ushering in a new era, so...

- So we are going
to unload this truck.

- Do we even know
how to unload a truck?

Because I came back here once
when they were doing it,

and it is very elaborate
and choreographed.

I mean, it was poppin'.
It was hummin'.

It was like boom! Boom!
Shabam!

Boom, boom! Alakazam!
Sha-pow!

- Guys, it's fine, okay?

I've got the manual,

so, you know,
all we need, really,

are two people
throwing the truck,

one pushing the line,
one on bulk transition,

two pulling pallets,
three pre-pushing HBA,

and one person
bowling C and D.

- Okay, so that sounds great.

Let's do that.

- * We could dance and party
all night *

* And drink some cherry wine,
uh-huh *

* We don't have
to take our... *

- [sighs]

So, uh, what are you
thinking about?

- What are you doing?
What is that?

- I don't know.
Just, I thought--

I thought that's something
that people say after...

- Oh.
- Um...

- Am I supposed to ask you
what you're thinking about?

- No.
- Because I can if you want.

- Please don't.
- Okay. Sure.

[knock at door]

- Glenn?
I need to talk to you.

- [mouthing words]

- I think the heat may be
getting to Jonah and Amy.

[clears throat]

They may have gone--
and I try not to use this term--

cray-cray.

They've gone cray-cray.

They're both cray-cray!

Hello!

- All right, let's just go--
- Shh!

[whispering]
It could be a fake walk-away.

He's probably still listening.

- Why would he do
a fake walk-away?

- I always do
a fake-out walk-away.

Then I can hear what people
are really saying about me.

- And what are they saying
about you?

- Oh, it's never good.

- It looks
really complicated.

- Yeah, well,

everything's
computerized nowadays.

But it's still
the same basic guts.

Let me just try
diagnostics here.

Uh...
ooh, uh...

[muttering]

Oh, uh--

Okay, I seem to have
changed the language.

[glass shatters]

- Okay, guys.
Good work.

I know we're all tired,
but we're getting there.

We've only got, like,
200 more boxes.

- Almost there.

- Where's the scanner?

- I've got it. But I kind of
got walled in over here.

- Don't worry, Sandra.
Everything's gonna be okay.

Just toss the scanner
over to us.

[scanner thuds]

- Ow! Scanner's broken.

- * She's fresh, she's fresh

* Exciting

* She's so exciting to me

- I can't even help
my own employees

when they need me the most.

- That's not true.
You help us all the time.

- Like how?

- Oh, you want examples?

Okay, um,

oh, well,
we wouldn't be able

to come in to work
in the morning

if you didn't
unlock the doors.

- Actually,
nowadays it's all

opened automatically
by computers.

- Okay, but who turns on
the computer?

- Corporate does.

- Really?
That's awesome.

- Ha. Hmm.

There's absolutely no reason
whatsoever for me to be here.

I'm just a pathetic,
useless old man,

apparently descended
from slave traders.

- You're not that old.
What are you, like, 40?

- 57.

- Holy [bleep].

Should you be up this high?

- So...

sex again?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Okay, bend your knees
this time.

- Okay. Will you--
can you guide me?

- Guide you? I'm walking
backwards. You guide me.

- I know, but I can't--
I can't see.

- Okay, well, all I see
is the box in my face.

- Slow down! Slow down!
Slow down!

- [screaming]

Ow! Ow.

- Amy! Oh, God, um...
Oh, okay.

- Guys, are you okay?

Stand back.
I'm gonna break through.

[pounds on box]

.

- Hello?

Hello!

Is anybody coming back
to help me?

- I know this doesn't help
that much,

but you can really
take a fall.

[chuckles]

You ever considered a career
as a pro wrestler?

- Actually, yes.

When I was a kid, I wanted
to be The Ultimate Warrior.

I had the arm ribbons
and everything.

- [laughs]
- I did.

- Did you have
the big, poufy hair?

- Yes.

- [laughs]

[sighs]
Breeze feels good.

- Yeah.

I'm starting to feel
like a normal person again.

That heat was making me insane.

- Yeah.
[laughs]

- [gasps]
We fired Marcus.

- Like, if you could do
anything,

what would you do?

- I've always wanted to travel.

- Oh, yeah. Me too.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Like, I hear that in some
of the McDonald's in Asia,

they serve spaghetti.

- No way!
- Yeah.

- God, I would love
to see that!

- [chuckles]

- Wait.

We should just go!

- Oh, what?
- Yeah.

We should just travel
the world together,

you and me.

- Oh, well, I mean, I--

You know, I have a baby,

and then there's Bo,

and I'm still
finishing up school,

and we haven't really spent
that much time together.

- No. No.

Yeah.

[sighs]

- Okay, fine.
We can travel the world.

- Yeah?

- Sure.

- Oh--oh, man.

We're gonna have
to get so many shots!

- Listen, I'm just saying

if you put that much effort
into your work--

- Can we not turn this
into a job review, please?

- Hello? Mr. Sturgis,
are you still there?

- [imitating Glenn]
Uh, yes, this is Glenn Sturgis.

I wear a tie with clouds on it.

- Thanks for your patience.

We've finally resolved
the heating issue.

Turns out, it was a problem
with our computers.

It's now been fixed,
and the store

should already be
cooling back down.

- Oh, okay, great.

Hallelujah!

[sighs]

- Well, I guess, uh,
we can go back to work.

- Ugh, finally.

- Hey, uh,
I normally wouldn't say this,

but, uh, I had a good time
having sex with you today.

- Yeah. Me too.
You're...good at it.

- Thanks.
- Yeah. But it's, uh,

not gonna happen again.

- Oh, no, definitely not.
- It might, though.

- Hey, you know what? If it did,
wouldn't be opposed to it.

- Me too.

But just--
just the sex part.

I find the rest of you
repulsive.

- Oh, the sound of your voice
makes me want

to punch myself in the throat.

- Yeah.

- I just totally lost it.

I mean, I don't have
the authority to fire Marcus.

- Oh, yeah, no, we were, uh--
we were out of our minds.

- Ugh. We're gonna have
to swallow our pride

and beg him to come back.

- Oof.
- Marcus,

who thinks drinking water
is a scam.

Marcus, who once said,
"Bedsheets are for losers."

- And who's, um,
coming here right now.

- Hey, Marcus, um,
we need to talk.

- Totally. I am so sorry.

I went for a drive,
I cooled down a lot...

'cause my car
doesn't have doors,

and I thought about today.

And I said some things
about both of you

that were uncalled for.

I think the heat
must have gotten to me.

I'm really sorry.

- Well, um,
today is your lucky day,

because I haven't
filed the paperwork yet.

So I'm gonna let you off
with a warning this time.

- That's big of you.
- Thank you.

So we can just all
come back to work.

- Sure. Whatever.
- And then maybe we should

grab dinner or something
tonight.

- Yeah--
- Just, like, to, you know,

hash it all out so we can all
be cool with each other.

- That's probably not
gonna happen.

- We'll keep it open.
We'll keep it open.

- Okay. All right.
- Sure.

- Thank you guys.

- [exhales deeply]

Oh, there's that smile.

- I don't know.
I can't decide.

Should we go London,
Atlantis, Hong Kong--

right, it's--
- Uh-huh.

- And then--or London,
Hong Kong, Atlantis?

- Uh, yeah.
- It's confusing.

- Oh, wait a minute, Glenn.

It's cool in here again.

- Wait. How?

- You fixed it!

- I did?

Oh, my God, I did.

Ha!

- Oh, no!

- What?

- I really wanted us
to travel the world together,

but I-I feel like
the store needs you.

- Yeah, it does.
- Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

- When you get to Macau,

you buy yourself
some McNoodles, kiddo.

- [laughs] Okay.
- Okay?

Bon voyage.

[liquid sloshing]
Oh! Ooh!

What the--

- Oh, Glenn,
are you okay?

Oh, do you need help?

- No, I'm good.

- Maybe just try to--

Maybe if you roll out of it?

Yeah, swim! Swim out of it!

Okay. Mm.

You're not going anywhere.

- [panting]